Again we don't own Lord of the Rings but oh how wonderful would it be to
own Legolas.. Okay I got distracted for a minute there. * Slaps face *
okay. Thanks to all reviewers. WE FINALLY FINISHED THIS CHAPTER YAY FOR US!
'Hello and welcome once again to another gender bending episode of In Bed With Frodo. I am your host.err...Frodo.
'Our first guest is the lovely, Charming, gorgeous, shagadelic, elfylicious Galadriel. Now this chic knows how to Shag!!!'
'Err Frodo. Celeborn is here too," whispers the director from offstage.
'Shit! Well welcome Celeborn too."
Celeborn and Galadriel walk on looking ever the happy couple (not!).
"Can you feel the love?" Frodo says sarcastically.
"I thought it was only Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Faramir, Elrond, Arwen, Aragorn, Master Sam, Gandalf, Thranduil, Thorondor, Saruman, Dumbledore, Mablung, Pippin, Merry, Mim, Groin, Gloin, Beren, Bilbo, Thingol, Olwë, Radagast, Sauron, Harry Yotter, (A.N Potter.) Sirion, (A.N yes she shagged a river) Urulóki, Lurtz, Fluffy the Balrog, Haldir, Huor, Galdor, Lothien, Lucius Malfoy, The Nazgûl, Isildur, Gil-galad, Eowyn, Hermoine Granger, Amroth, Appledore, Arathorn, Drogo, Barahir, Smeagol, Elendil, Eomir, Narsil, Tom Bombadil, Aragog, Nenya, Elanor, The Gaffer, Lobelia, Wormtongue, Theoden, -"
"That's enough. We don't have that much time!"
"But I wasn't even half way through yet."
Frodo turned to the audience.
"The lovely Galadriel and Celeborn are here today to work out some marriage issues with us isn't that right?" he asks.
"Yes," mumbles Celeborn.
"It's not that I want to be with all those people and.things. It's just well the truth is Celeborn can't.perform as well as he used to and it's very boring ruling Lothlorien when nothing bad happens," says Galadriel.
"Oh so this is MY fault," asks Celeborn in disbelief.
"No! It's me I can't help myself," says Galadriel to Celeborn. "Though it's not as if YOU haven't cheated on ME!"
The audience gasps.
"This is getting juicy." Frodo says evilly, rubbing his hands together.
"Well you see, I met this. person and we kinda hit it off."
"How did you meet them?" asked Frodo.
"Using MY mirror!" Galadriel cut in.
The Audience again gasped.
"What that bird bath looking thing you made me look in?" asked Frodo puzzled.
"It's not a bird bath, it's a powerful seeing tool. Thing.' Galadriel did her Pippin impersonation.
"Okay so you can see in it but I didn't think you could use it to communicate."
"It's just the way she looked at me." Celeborn said dreamily.
"For one thing it could very well have been a HE you can never tell with orcs." Galadriel snapped.
"Ewwwwwwww..." said the audience in unison
"Maybe you should go to one of those rehab clinics for sex addicts," suggests Frodo. "And Celeborn you could get viagra."
"I will NOT!" says Celeborn indignantly. He stands up and nearly knocks the chair over.
"Yes you will," says Galadriel. "Thank you Frodo."
Galadriel leads Celeborn offstage.
Frodo turns to the audience.
"Ok our next guest is my cousin Merry. Today I'm going to help him with." Frodo consults his clipboard. "Merry thinks he may have gotten a girl pregnant one night when he got drunk. Come on out Merry."
Merry walks out onto the stage while waving to the crowd. He sits down in the chair Galadriel just left and turns to Frodo.
"Welcome Merry. Tell us about your problem," suggests Frodo.
"Well one night when Pip, Sam and me were at the pub we had a drinking competition. I remember going home with someone and shagging them rotten but when I woke up in the morning all I found was a note next to my pillow," says Merry.
"What did the note say?"
"Thanks."
"That's all? Nothing else to say who it was from?" asks Frodo.
"Nope just thanks," said Merry. "But a few weeks later Rosie Cotton's father was looking all over town for the hobbit who got his little girl pregnant. I think it was me!"
"Well that is a problem. I know how pissed off Rosie's father was. He was ready to kill! Let's bring Rosie out," says Frodo.
Rosie Cotton walks out onto the stage and sits in the seat next to Merry.
"Rosie you've been listening from backstage. Do you remember that night?" asks Frodo.
"I do and Merry," she turns to Merry "I did not go home with you. You did not get me pregnant so you don't have to worry. I remember you went home with Pippin and that's all. Perhaps you met someone on the way home."
"Well at least you don't have to worry about that. Now all we need to know is who you *did* get with that night," says Frodo.
Pippin walks very slowly out onto the stage.
"I can answer that," he says embarrassed.
"You didn't!" says Frodo in disgust.
"No! Merry was so drunk that when I went to take him home I was finding it really difficult so on the way I asked for help. Sam was the one who helped me which was lucky because I thought he went home since he disappeared for an hour or two. Anyway so he helped me take Merry home and by the time we put him to bed he was babbling incoherently so we thought it would be funny if we put one of those inflatable ponies in the bed and see what happened. We set a camera up because we didn't want to stay and in the morning we took the camera and the pony away. We left the note pinned to his pillow and we were keeping the tape for his birthday," explains Pippin.
Frodo is doubled over laughing but poor Merry looks as though he could cry.
"I'm sorry Merry but it was funny," says Pip.
"We have to leave it there because we have other guests. After the break we have Glorfindel," says Frodo with his best TV hosts smile at the camera.
Frodo is fighting the laughter threatening to escape as Merry leaves the stage guided by Pippin and Rosie. He composes himself and waits for Glorfindel to seat himself and waits for the signal for the next segment.
"Ok we're back with Glorfindel the elf. Welcome."
A man has entered the studio and is now standing behind the cameraman.
"Can I help you?" asks Frodo.
"I'm sorry to interrupt but I'm John Edward from a show called 'Crossing Over' it's filmed in this studio. I have someone coming through with a message for you," the man says.
"Really? Well come up here and share it with everyone," says Frodo enthusiastically.
John comes up and sits in a chair brought up to him by a stagehand.
"Thank you," he says. "Now do you understand how this works?"
"No I don't," answers Frodo.
"The person trying to talk to you will use my memories to show me what they want to say. I may interpret it wrong sometimes so you will have to correct me. I'm sure this message is for you or one of your friends. The person coming through is telling me a 'B' name. A very unusual 'B' name. Boromir or something."
"Boromir! Oh my! He was one of my friends," says Frodo.
"Ok he's showing me a river. Do you understand that?"
Frodo nods.
"And a horn of some sort. A sword and a ring. A gold engagement type ring. He's showing me the number nine. What's this?" asks John.
"There were nine people who started out," says Frodo.
"Ok now he's showing me a volcano type thing. Lots of fire," says John.
Frodo nods again.
"This is just a way of clarifying that this message is for you," says John. "He says he's sorry and that it wasn't your fault. And to congratulate you on winning something or saving something. Has any more of you friends died?" asks John.
"No."
"Someone starting with 'A'. He's showing me a crown," says John.
"Aragorn but he's not dead," says Frodo.
"Boromir's saying murder. Not murdered, murder. Maybe this is one that I miss interpret," says John. "OK he's showing you wearing a dress. And some other guy."
"Oh dear."
"And a female. No he's telling me it's male. He's got long blonde hair. He's cleaning blood off his hands in a river. There's someone next to him. Another man, this Aragorn maybe," says John.
"Where is this going exactly?" asks Frodo raising his eyebrow.
"I'm not sure. I'm only relaying the messages that Boromir is.. Oh good Lord!" John looks suddenly horrified.
"What?" Frodo asks now very interested.
"Oh this is very disturbing. I've never seen anything like this before in my life. Oh this is just. Terrifying!"
"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU SEE!" Frodo shouts, the suspense getting to him.
John sighed and opened his mouth to say what he saw.
To Be Continued!
Mwahahahaha. Please review! Also if you like this fic can you please read and review Harry Potter and the Fellowship of the Ring. Found in the same account as this fic!
'Hello and welcome once again to another gender bending episode of In Bed With Frodo. I am your host.err...Frodo.
'Our first guest is the lovely, Charming, gorgeous, shagadelic, elfylicious Galadriel. Now this chic knows how to Shag!!!'
'Err Frodo. Celeborn is here too," whispers the director from offstage.
'Shit! Well welcome Celeborn too."
Celeborn and Galadriel walk on looking ever the happy couple (not!).
"Can you feel the love?" Frodo says sarcastically.
"I thought it was only Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Faramir, Elrond, Arwen, Aragorn, Master Sam, Gandalf, Thranduil, Thorondor, Saruman, Dumbledore, Mablung, Pippin, Merry, Mim, Groin, Gloin, Beren, Bilbo, Thingol, Olwë, Radagast, Sauron, Harry Yotter, (A.N Potter.) Sirion, (A.N yes she shagged a river) Urulóki, Lurtz, Fluffy the Balrog, Haldir, Huor, Galdor, Lothien, Lucius Malfoy, The Nazgûl, Isildur, Gil-galad, Eowyn, Hermoine Granger, Amroth, Appledore, Arathorn, Drogo, Barahir, Smeagol, Elendil, Eomir, Narsil, Tom Bombadil, Aragog, Nenya, Elanor, The Gaffer, Lobelia, Wormtongue, Theoden, -"
"That's enough. We don't have that much time!"
"But I wasn't even half way through yet."
Frodo turned to the audience.
"The lovely Galadriel and Celeborn are here today to work out some marriage issues with us isn't that right?" he asks.
"Yes," mumbles Celeborn.
"It's not that I want to be with all those people and.things. It's just well the truth is Celeborn can't.perform as well as he used to and it's very boring ruling Lothlorien when nothing bad happens," says Galadriel.
"Oh so this is MY fault," asks Celeborn in disbelief.
"No! It's me I can't help myself," says Galadriel to Celeborn. "Though it's not as if YOU haven't cheated on ME!"
The audience gasps.
"This is getting juicy." Frodo says evilly, rubbing his hands together.
"Well you see, I met this. person and we kinda hit it off."
"How did you meet them?" asked Frodo.
"Using MY mirror!" Galadriel cut in.
The Audience again gasped.
"What that bird bath looking thing you made me look in?" asked Frodo puzzled.
"It's not a bird bath, it's a powerful seeing tool. Thing.' Galadriel did her Pippin impersonation.
"Okay so you can see in it but I didn't think you could use it to communicate."
"It's just the way she looked at me." Celeborn said dreamily.
"For one thing it could very well have been a HE you can never tell with orcs." Galadriel snapped.
"Ewwwwwwww..." said the audience in unison
"Maybe you should go to one of those rehab clinics for sex addicts," suggests Frodo. "And Celeborn you could get viagra."
"I will NOT!" says Celeborn indignantly. He stands up and nearly knocks the chair over.
"Yes you will," says Galadriel. "Thank you Frodo."
Galadriel leads Celeborn offstage.
Frodo turns to the audience.
"Ok our next guest is my cousin Merry. Today I'm going to help him with." Frodo consults his clipboard. "Merry thinks he may have gotten a girl pregnant one night when he got drunk. Come on out Merry."
Merry walks out onto the stage while waving to the crowd. He sits down in the chair Galadriel just left and turns to Frodo.
"Welcome Merry. Tell us about your problem," suggests Frodo.
"Well one night when Pip, Sam and me were at the pub we had a drinking competition. I remember going home with someone and shagging them rotten but when I woke up in the morning all I found was a note next to my pillow," says Merry.
"What did the note say?"
"Thanks."
"That's all? Nothing else to say who it was from?" asks Frodo.
"Nope just thanks," said Merry. "But a few weeks later Rosie Cotton's father was looking all over town for the hobbit who got his little girl pregnant. I think it was me!"
"Well that is a problem. I know how pissed off Rosie's father was. He was ready to kill! Let's bring Rosie out," says Frodo.
Rosie Cotton walks out onto the stage and sits in the seat next to Merry.
"Rosie you've been listening from backstage. Do you remember that night?" asks Frodo.
"I do and Merry," she turns to Merry "I did not go home with you. You did not get me pregnant so you don't have to worry. I remember you went home with Pippin and that's all. Perhaps you met someone on the way home."
"Well at least you don't have to worry about that. Now all we need to know is who you *did* get with that night," says Frodo.
Pippin walks very slowly out onto the stage.
"I can answer that," he says embarrassed.
"You didn't!" says Frodo in disgust.
"No! Merry was so drunk that when I went to take him home I was finding it really difficult so on the way I asked for help. Sam was the one who helped me which was lucky because I thought he went home since he disappeared for an hour or two. Anyway so he helped me take Merry home and by the time we put him to bed he was babbling incoherently so we thought it would be funny if we put one of those inflatable ponies in the bed and see what happened. We set a camera up because we didn't want to stay and in the morning we took the camera and the pony away. We left the note pinned to his pillow and we were keeping the tape for his birthday," explains Pippin.
Frodo is doubled over laughing but poor Merry looks as though he could cry.
"I'm sorry Merry but it was funny," says Pip.
"We have to leave it there because we have other guests. After the break we have Glorfindel," says Frodo with his best TV hosts smile at the camera.
Frodo is fighting the laughter threatening to escape as Merry leaves the stage guided by Pippin and Rosie. He composes himself and waits for Glorfindel to seat himself and waits for the signal for the next segment.
"Ok we're back with Glorfindel the elf. Welcome."
A man has entered the studio and is now standing behind the cameraman.
"Can I help you?" asks Frodo.
"I'm sorry to interrupt but I'm John Edward from a show called 'Crossing Over' it's filmed in this studio. I have someone coming through with a message for you," the man says.
"Really? Well come up here and share it with everyone," says Frodo enthusiastically.
John comes up and sits in a chair brought up to him by a stagehand.
"Thank you," he says. "Now do you understand how this works?"
"No I don't," answers Frodo.
"The person trying to talk to you will use my memories to show me what they want to say. I may interpret it wrong sometimes so you will have to correct me. I'm sure this message is for you or one of your friends. The person coming through is telling me a 'B' name. A very unusual 'B' name. Boromir or something."
"Boromir! Oh my! He was one of my friends," says Frodo.
"Ok he's showing me a river. Do you understand that?"
Frodo nods.
"And a horn of some sort. A sword and a ring. A gold engagement type ring. He's showing me the number nine. What's this?" asks John.
"There were nine people who started out," says Frodo.
"Ok now he's showing me a volcano type thing. Lots of fire," says John.
Frodo nods again.
"This is just a way of clarifying that this message is for you," says John. "He says he's sorry and that it wasn't your fault. And to congratulate you on winning something or saving something. Has any more of you friends died?" asks John.
"No."
"Someone starting with 'A'. He's showing me a crown," says John.
"Aragorn but he's not dead," says Frodo.
"Boromir's saying murder. Not murdered, murder. Maybe this is one that I miss interpret," says John. "OK he's showing you wearing a dress. And some other guy."
"Oh dear."
"And a female. No he's telling me it's male. He's got long blonde hair. He's cleaning blood off his hands in a river. There's someone next to him. Another man, this Aragorn maybe," says John.
"Where is this going exactly?" asks Frodo raising his eyebrow.
"I'm not sure. I'm only relaying the messages that Boromir is.. Oh good Lord!" John looks suddenly horrified.
"What?" Frodo asks now very interested.
"Oh this is very disturbing. I've never seen anything like this before in my life. Oh this is just. Terrifying!"
"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU SEE!" Frodo shouts, the suspense getting to him.
John sighed and opened his mouth to say what he saw.
To Be Continued!
Mwahahahaha. Please review! Also if you like this fic can you please read and review Harry Potter and the Fellowship of the Ring. Found in the same account as this fic!