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"I slept and dreamed that life was beauty.

I awoke—and found that life was duty."

-Ellen Stugis Hooper

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Chapter Fifteen: Duty

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With Logan at the Blackbird's controls and the professor working on his computer beside her, Nat had nothing more to do than stare out the windows. Reading had long before been proven impossible, mostly because she had trouble keeping her attention on the page for more than thirty seconds at a time. The beauty of the cold, steel-gray ocean water below was all but lost on her. She was so deeply immersed in thoughts of the upcoming day that the world could have exploded and she would hardly have noticed. Professor Xavier had been able to find out how to reach the five girls with whom they would have to get into contact to pull off his plan, and they would be at their primary destination in less than an hour. How Xavier had managed to find the girls and convince their parents to let him speak to them was a mystery to her, but she was pretty sure that none of them knew she was coming. Nat's stomach was a dull knot of pain.

Logan's gruff voice shook her from her daydreaming within half an hour. "We're just about there, Chuck. Where d'ya want me to take 'er down?"

The professor looked up, setting his computer back into his briefcase. "Find somewhere relatively secluded, of course, but not too distant from Miss Stewart's residence."

"Gotcha. There's some fields not far outta town. I'll take 'er there."

Nat started, an iciness spreading through her middle. "Stewart? Did you say Stewart?"

Logan was ignoring both of them, but Xavier nodded distantly. "Yes. She is perhaps the most important player in your little drama, I'm sure you agree."

"Professor…can't we…start with somebody else? Please, I don't think I can handle this yet." Her face was ashen, her eyes besieged with fear.

Xavier sighed. Once we get through today, the rest will be easy, he told himself, as if trying to comfort a child. He shook his head, trying to keep his expression unyielding, but he felt a twinge of regret. She wasn't going to be very happy with him by the time the day was over, but that would all be an unavoidable repercussion of what had to be done. "I'm sorry, Natalie, but we've come all this way and we have to get started somewhere. We're going to begin here and move on to the next girl after lunch."

The professor was watching Nat out of the corner of his eye to gauge her reaction. Her vivid green eyes dropped, staring at her lap. Her breath was shallow and quick as if she were about to cry, but she clenched her teeth and took several deep swallows of air, raising her head and holding her jaw up stiffly. She was an emotional girl, he had already learned, and he found himself strangely proud of her lack of tears in this trying moment. She nodded. "Okay."

An hour or so later, two of the travelers exited the gleaming black vehicle that the professor had rented, and made their way up the pebbly pathway to the Stewarts' home, the professor's chair being pushed by Logan. The dark-haired man rapped confidently on the polished, honey-colored front door, and they waited patiently for a response. Back at the car, Nat was kneeling on the back seat, clutching the headrest and staring at the house through the back window. She watched as the door opened, and the men were ushered inside the house by a small-boned woman in a gray silk blouse and tweed trousers. She looked just like her daughter. Nat had always thought so.

She flopped back onto her rear, closing her eyes to wait for the professor's call.

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"Please make yourselves comfortable, Professor Xavier, Mr. Logan. Would you like something to drink? Coffee or tea, perhaps?"

Logan responded with a curt, "Nothin' here." The professor's reply was a bit less rough, but also requesting nothing. Ms. Stewart shrugged and sat down on the couch, Logan dropping himself onto an armchair and resting one booted foot on the opposite knee. Xavier parked his chair across from Ms. Stewart, whose expression was polite but nervous.

"I'm so glad you were able to come all this way just to speak to my daughter. She's had such a hard time dealing with all of this…"

Xavier waved a dismissive hand, flashing his best parent-comforting smile, the one that suggested honesty, responsibility and a great deal of trust. "Think nothing of it, Ms. Stewart. I work with young people after traumatic experiences quite often. I have a good amount of experience."

The tiny woman stood, dusting her knees with her palms. She gestured feebly at the staircase. "Lily's up in her bedroom. Would you like me to get her for you?"

"Yes, please. I would like to get started as quickly as possible. Oh, and Ms. Stewart? There is a student of mine that Lily may wish to meet. She's in the car, and I don't think that she should come in just yet, but if Lily wishes to meet her, is she permitted to come in?"

"Of course! Anything that you think will be helpful." She paused, looking sadly down at her feet with a slight shudder. "Lily's had a very tough time the past year or so, and the fire didn't help at all. In the week since she got back from the hospital, she's been so sullen. With the school gone, I'm out of a job until it can be rebuilt, and on top of that, we lost her father about eight months ago. He was killed in a run-in with one of those muties—" Logan snorted quietly at this, but Xavier did no more than raise an eyebrow a millimeter or two "—and ever since the…incident…she's been having terrible nightmares." She shook her head, lost in thought.

This may be more difficult than I thought, Xavier mused. Ms. Stewart nodded and started up the stairs. When she disappeared at the top, Logan glanced at the professor.

"Were ya expectin' that?"

Xavier shook his head. "Not particularly." He took in a deep breath. "We can work around it."

Ms. Stewart came back down with a thin, strawberry-blonde girl just a bit younger than Nat close behind her. Her pale hair was loose and fell around her face in a thin, gauzy veil as she entered the living room, unable, or perhaps unwilling, to look directly at the professor. She sat down in silence on the edge of the couch, chewing on her bottom lip. There were fresh pink lines running along her throat, and a patch of scar tissue that covered one cheek.

There was a long moment of quiet before Professor Xavier decided to begin, searching his brain for the right way to begin this conversation. Best to try the direct approach, he thought, folding his hands across his lap. "I hear that you've been having a rather unpleasant year, Lily."

"You've heard correctly, sir, but I don't see why you've come so far just to talk to me about that."

"Lily!" Ms. Stewart hissed under her breath, looking surprised.

Professor Xavier glanced at the girl's mother, shaking his head. "It's perfectly all right. Ms. Stewart, If you don't mind, I'd like to speak to Lily alone. Logan, would you give us a moment as well?"

The other man nodded, and Lily's mother led him to the kitchen, where she would finally be able to serve one of her guests some tea. She walked with tiny, rapid steps, her movements jerky and tense.

Alone in the room with the girl, Xavier turned to her and smiled. "Thank you for your willingness to speak with me. I don't think you will regret this meeting."

She looked up at him, watery gray eyes blazing. "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't say that you're right."

He took a deep breath and released it with a sigh. "I assume this isn't your first interaction with a psychologist."

Lily squeezed her lips together. She cocked her head to one side. "Hardly."

"Well, there are different things to be discussed today."

"What does that mean?" Her steely eyes narrowed as if she were trying to look through him, past his cool outer expression. He watched her in return, his face as unmoving as her own.

"You have every right to be suspicious. This isn't the same kind of meeting that you've had before, I can guarantee that." Silently, he was calling out for Nat.

Nat, in the meantime, was beginning to panic. He was asking her to come, and there were only so many actions that she could take: she could listen to the professor and go into the house, or ignore him and stay in the car. There was always the good old standby of taking off down the street as fast as her feet could carry her, but somehow she didn't think that would work. Nat gulped and got out of the car, jumping at the loud sound of the door slamming behind her. She walked up the front walkway on wobbly knees, and slipped into the house as silently as she could. From the living room, she could make out familiar voices, so she started that way. She stood quietly in the doorway, waiting to be asked in, her stomach churning. The professor noticed her and nodded slightly, but mentally told her to stay where she was.

Lily was staring at the professor, eyes wide and face frightened. "You weren't there! You don't know what I saw!"

"Unfortunately, neither do you." He shook his head, but Lily was pinned under his steady blue gaze. Her eyebrows lowered and her lips were held in a taut red line.

"I know exactly what I saw."

"Do you really? Natalie—" Lily's face went white, and she spun around to the place where the professor's gaze had fallen, but Xavier didn't pause "—would you come in, please?"

Lily tried to say something, her mouth opening and closing like that of a fish on land, letting only a little squeaking sound escape her throat. She jumped to her feet, swaying a little and trying to make her way around the coffee table. "Wh-what is she doing here? Why are you here, you little freak? Mum! Mu—"

Powered by sheer adrenaline, Nat made her way across the room in three large steps, grabbing Lily by the wrists and pulling her onto the couch. The smaller girl was too frightened to struggle, and went rather limp, crumpling into a seated position beside Nat. There was no response from the other room. Nat was still grasping her wrists as hard as she could, afraid to let go, but Lily tried to wrench them away and gave her a furious glare.

"D-don't scream, please, Lily!" She was terrified of the shrill, panicky sound in her own voice, and unable to look away from the raw pink flesh, the missing skin of Lily's cheek and wounded throat.

"How dare you come here? After what you did!" Her voice quivered, either from anger or fear, Nat wasn't sure which.

"I didn't mean to, Lily, I swear. I was just—"

Professor Xavier broke her off. "Knock it off, both of you. We'll never be able to speak civilly if you're arguing. Nat, let go of Lily, and Lily, please try to remain calm."

Surprised by the tone of command in Xavier's voice, both girls fell silent. Nat slowly released Lily's wrists, leaving white marks on her skin. Lily continued to glare at her, and Nat tried to tear her eyes away from the other girl's battered face, staring instead at the professor's shoulder. He nodded at them and went on.

"Thank you. That will make this much easier. Now, Lily, what do you remember about the last night that you saw Nat?"

"What do you think I remember? I remember being mercilessly attacked! Well, congratulations, Fairbanks! Take a good long look at your handiwork." She threw her arms open wide, jutting her chin forward, the whites of her eyes showing all the way around. Nat shivered and tried not to stare, a great wave of anguish rising up within her.

She pulled away, dropping her head into her hands, a sob welling up within her. "Oh, God, Lily I'm so sorry…"

"You damned well ought to be! You're going to pay for this, I can promise you that. And don't you cry, you terrible little monster, 'cause you've got no right to it! You're not the one with the bloody scars!" Lily's hand struck out before either girl expected it, slapping across the back of Nat's neck. Nat shrank away, making no effort to block the blows.

As suddenly as she had begun, Lily fell silent, her hands dropping to her sides like wilted flower stems. Her face was sallow with alarm, and the professor's echoing voice filled their heads. Lily scrambled away to the other end of the couch, pale eyes wide with fear. Nat wiped the tears from her cheeks with her sleeve.

"You know less about what happened that night than you think you do, Lily…"

Lily let out a low moan. "How…how are you doing that?"

"Just trust me, and I can show you what you need to know. If you relax, I won't have to do anything but show you the way, and let you figure it out for yourself."

"Knock it off. Stop! Just get out of my head!" Her hands came up to tangle in her hair, wide eyes distressed and horror-bright. Tears had begun to flow. Nat choked on her own breath, feeling the emotions in the room double. She was feeling Lily, and Lily was feeling her.

"Stop it! I want you to burn in hell, the both of you. Get out!"

There was anger, a huge, boiling, seething anger that writhed in the air and blotted out the light of the sun, most of it spiraling out from Lily's mind, with a coil of Nat's own fury snaking out between them. Fear and pain were close behind it, immeasurably stronger, a heavy, wet, weighted pressure that choked and smothered. Nat's regret sailed out across this thick gray ocean, and she held it against her breast like a baby, presenting it for Lily to see.

And they were back at that night, Lily taunting and Nat burning within and without, neither sure what was happening, a glowing ball of insecurity hovering between them. They heard and felt and saw that night, beside themselves and in themselves and somehow beside and in each other. Both screamed, both taunted, both lost control and ran away.

With a desperate little sob, they fell from the past and landed hard in the present, beside one another on the couch, faces wet with tears and throats tight with sorrow. Their hands were pressed tightly together, fingers intertwined.

Nat swallowed hard, staring at Lily's glittering gray eyes. "Do you see? Do you understand…"

The other girl nodded slowly, unable to speak for a long while. She rubbed Nat's fingers, remembering what it had felt like to have them burn, the torture that the other girl had experienced. "I…I understand." She looked away. "Still, I don't think I can forgive you."

Cautiously, Nat reached forward and traced the scar along Lily's jaw with a fingertip. Lily went stiff but didn't pull away. Nat whispered, "I don't want you to forgive me. Not yet. Not until I do. But I am sorry. I'd give anything to take it back."

"So would I." Her gray eyes met Nat's intense, bottle-colored ones. "But now I know you didn't intend to do it."

"Does that mean…" Nat tried not to look too hopeful. Lily nodded.

Her voice caught in her throat, getting trapped there for a moment before she managed to sputter it out. "I'll tell the detectives that you didn't…do it on purpose."

Nat's eyes filled with happy tears. "Thank you, Lily."

Lily got to her shaking feet, her face rigid again, sneering. "Don't get all mushy and disgusting on me, freak. This doesn't make us friends or anything. I'd do just about anything to take what you did and do it back to you, but I won't, because I know I wouldn't get away with it. And you had better be damn happy that you are getting off." She walked to the stairs, pausing halfway up and turning. "I swear to God, if I ever see you around here again I'll sing so loud about you, mutie, that you'll spend the rest of your life under a microscope in some lab."

Slowly, a smile began to creep around Nat's lips. "It's a deal."