Fearless Leader
The next morning at breakfast, Nida was sitting alone at a table in the far back corner of the cafeteria. Soon he was greeted by Squall, Rinoa, Irvine and Selphie who were looking quite smug. Nida smiled inwardly, savoring the thought of poor Zell making an utter fool of himself. The jerk deserved it for thieving his hot dog. He would pay greatly in embarrassment, and Nida would pay his accomplices handsomely once the job was completed.
His cohorts took a seat and gave Nida the update:
"He took it hook, line and sinker." reported Squall. "Just appeal to his sense of duty and he's a perfect stooge."
"And I already have the cameras set up in the back of the lunchroom. All we have to do is film him close range. That's where Selphie comes in", said Irvine.
"Yep! I'll follow him like a shadow once he's inside. Also you can keep my money. All I want is to pilot Garden for a month."
"Its done", replied Nida. "So what's the victim up to now?"
At that very moment Zell came jogging up to their table, panting heavily, his face the color of a ripe tomato or a very tacky leisure suit. He looked as if he had something frightfully important to tell them all, but somehow no matter what he was thinking (or not thinking, as was more likely the case), he always managed to look like he didn't have a clue where he was or what was going on.
He said through gasping breaths "I… huff, huff…forg…huff…" After a few moments he calmed down and was able to say "Now how exactly am I supposed to get into the lunchroom? I went up to the lady and said that it was really important for me to get in, but she just laughed at me."
Squall sighed and shook his head. Selphie and Rinoa giggled quietly, but Irvine and Nida exchanged a brief smile of satisfaction, and Zell just became even more tomato-esque and glared, partly out of offense, but mostly out of ignorance at the party. "And what's this guy doing here?" He looked accusingly at Nida. "Oh, didn't the guys tell you? I'm the leader of the Bun Bandits. I'm the head cheese with this operation. And by the way, no hard feelings about beating the crap out of me, alright?"
Zell began to look apprehensive. "Well…OK …"
The others around the table looked confusedly at Nida, but Irvine gave them a reassuring wink.
"Sorry Zell, we forgot to go over the plan with you. This is a very intricate operation, so let me give you the scuttlebutt…" Squall and Rinoa had to struggle to keep straight faces. What a genius, thought Squall. Zell was playing right into their trap.
Irvine took over, "Tonight, we're going to try to gain entry to the enemy stronghold, i.e. the back of the lunchroom. Because this is a delicate mission, and we run a high risk of being captured, only one person will be escorting you. Once inside, you are to search and find any incriminating evidence you can, document or procure it and bring it back out ASAP. If you are captured you must say nothing of this group or its motives and intentions. Understood? I don't need to remind you of how serious this is, do I?"
Zell, indeed quite serious, shook his head obediently.
"Good. Meet here right as the cafeteria closes tonight. Our operative will be here to escort you through the lunchroom. Be ready. You'll have to be quick on your feet and sharp with your wits."
At his last remark, the whole conclave had to restrain their laughter once more as Zell nodded with a greatly humorous candor and turned sharp on his heel and exited.
"Well, I guess its set then. Are you ready, Selphie?"
"Yeah. All I need is a fresh tape for the camcorder."
Later that evening, as the last light was extinguished in the cafeteria and all hair nets were retired for the night, a lone figure was standing in the antechamber leading to the west wing of the Garden. The figure was wearing a dark trench coat and a battered fedora and was moving rather stealthily along the wall, hiding amongst the shadows. The figure also had calf length denim shorts riding along, swishing back and forth and making "denim noise" and generally behaving in such a way that one would think they would hamper one's stealthy movement. The figure would also stop occasionally to pull up the shorts, which appeared to be fighting a very intense fight with gravity, which they were sorely losing. Entering the unlit cafeteria, the figure spotted its quarry, a girl wearing a loud yellow tankini skirt and holding a large camcorder.
As the figure neared the girl, it reached out a gloved hand (whilst employing the other one in holding up its shorts) and was just about to touch the girl on her bare shoulder. At this time, the figure's shorts decided to concede the point to gravity and resigned themselves to occupy the figure's ankles instead of its waist. This startled the figure and made it bend over hastily to reapply the pants to their normal space of residence, while at the same time alerting the girl to its presence.
"Hey! Who are you?!" Selphie squealed. "Zell, is that you? Get your hands away from my behind!"
"Yeah, its me", Zell muttered. As an aside, he also muttered a mild curse.
"What are you doing?" she inquired, then saw his shorts in mid transit and said "Oh."
"I'm in disguise", he said covertly "I don't want to be recognized if caught." He took a moment to look over his shoulder in a cliché, spy movie manner and then returned his gaze to Selphie.
"Well, you'd do a lot better without the Funny Glasses. You look like Groucho Marx.
Zell Promptly removed the plastic spectacles (with attached nose and mustache) and hid them in his coat.
"So, time to get down to business?" he said.
"Guess so. You nervous?"
"Me? Are you kidding?"
With that, Selphie turned toward the lunchroom, tape recorder in hand. As Zell began to follow her, a sound issued from somewhere in the room making Zell jump a height previously not thought to be possible and let out a falsetto yelp. In the process, his shorts once again chose to migrate to his ankles. Selphie turned to look at him, rolled her eyes and said, "Hey, are you slipping out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini? Wear a belt!" and kept walking. Under her breath she added, "Our fearless leader. Hyne help us."
The next morning at breakfast, Nida was sitting alone at a table in the far back corner of the cafeteria. Soon he was greeted by Squall, Rinoa, Irvine and Selphie who were looking quite smug. Nida smiled inwardly, savoring the thought of poor Zell making an utter fool of himself. The jerk deserved it for thieving his hot dog. He would pay greatly in embarrassment, and Nida would pay his accomplices handsomely once the job was completed.
His cohorts took a seat and gave Nida the update:
"He took it hook, line and sinker." reported Squall. "Just appeal to his sense of duty and he's a perfect stooge."
"And I already have the cameras set up in the back of the lunchroom. All we have to do is film him close range. That's where Selphie comes in", said Irvine.
"Yep! I'll follow him like a shadow once he's inside. Also you can keep my money. All I want is to pilot Garden for a month."
"Its done", replied Nida. "So what's the victim up to now?"
At that very moment Zell came jogging up to their table, panting heavily, his face the color of a ripe tomato or a very tacky leisure suit. He looked as if he had something frightfully important to tell them all, but somehow no matter what he was thinking (or not thinking, as was more likely the case), he always managed to look like he didn't have a clue where he was or what was going on.
He said through gasping breaths "I… huff, huff…forg…huff…" After a few moments he calmed down and was able to say "Now how exactly am I supposed to get into the lunchroom? I went up to the lady and said that it was really important for me to get in, but she just laughed at me."
Squall sighed and shook his head. Selphie and Rinoa giggled quietly, but Irvine and Nida exchanged a brief smile of satisfaction, and Zell just became even more tomato-esque and glared, partly out of offense, but mostly out of ignorance at the party. "And what's this guy doing here?" He looked accusingly at Nida. "Oh, didn't the guys tell you? I'm the leader of the Bun Bandits. I'm the head cheese with this operation. And by the way, no hard feelings about beating the crap out of me, alright?"
Zell began to look apprehensive. "Well…OK …"
The others around the table looked confusedly at Nida, but Irvine gave them a reassuring wink.
"Sorry Zell, we forgot to go over the plan with you. This is a very intricate operation, so let me give you the scuttlebutt…" Squall and Rinoa had to struggle to keep straight faces. What a genius, thought Squall. Zell was playing right into their trap.
Irvine took over, "Tonight, we're going to try to gain entry to the enemy stronghold, i.e. the back of the lunchroom. Because this is a delicate mission, and we run a high risk of being captured, only one person will be escorting you. Once inside, you are to search and find any incriminating evidence you can, document or procure it and bring it back out ASAP. If you are captured you must say nothing of this group or its motives and intentions. Understood? I don't need to remind you of how serious this is, do I?"
Zell, indeed quite serious, shook his head obediently.
"Good. Meet here right as the cafeteria closes tonight. Our operative will be here to escort you through the lunchroom. Be ready. You'll have to be quick on your feet and sharp with your wits."
At his last remark, the whole conclave had to restrain their laughter once more as Zell nodded with a greatly humorous candor and turned sharp on his heel and exited.
"Well, I guess its set then. Are you ready, Selphie?"
"Yeah. All I need is a fresh tape for the camcorder."
Later that evening, as the last light was extinguished in the cafeteria and all hair nets were retired for the night, a lone figure was standing in the antechamber leading to the west wing of the Garden. The figure was wearing a dark trench coat and a battered fedora and was moving rather stealthily along the wall, hiding amongst the shadows. The figure also had calf length denim shorts riding along, swishing back and forth and making "denim noise" and generally behaving in such a way that one would think they would hamper one's stealthy movement. The figure would also stop occasionally to pull up the shorts, which appeared to be fighting a very intense fight with gravity, which they were sorely losing. Entering the unlit cafeteria, the figure spotted its quarry, a girl wearing a loud yellow tankini skirt and holding a large camcorder.
As the figure neared the girl, it reached out a gloved hand (whilst employing the other one in holding up its shorts) and was just about to touch the girl on her bare shoulder. At this time, the figure's shorts decided to concede the point to gravity and resigned themselves to occupy the figure's ankles instead of its waist. This startled the figure and made it bend over hastily to reapply the pants to their normal space of residence, while at the same time alerting the girl to its presence.
"Hey! Who are you?!" Selphie squealed. "Zell, is that you? Get your hands away from my behind!"
"Yeah, its me", Zell muttered. As an aside, he also muttered a mild curse.
"What are you doing?" she inquired, then saw his shorts in mid transit and said "Oh."
"I'm in disguise", he said covertly "I don't want to be recognized if caught." He took a moment to look over his shoulder in a cliché, spy movie manner and then returned his gaze to Selphie.
"Well, you'd do a lot better without the Funny Glasses. You look like Groucho Marx.
Zell Promptly removed the plastic spectacles (with attached nose and mustache) and hid them in his coat.
"So, time to get down to business?" he said.
"Guess so. You nervous?"
"Me? Are you kidding?"
With that, Selphie turned toward the lunchroom, tape recorder in hand. As Zell began to follow her, a sound issued from somewhere in the room making Zell jump a height previously not thought to be possible and let out a falsetto yelp. In the process, his shorts once again chose to migrate to his ankles. Selphie turned to look at him, rolled her eyes and said, "Hey, are you slipping out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini? Wear a belt!" and kept walking. Under her breath she added, "Our fearless leader. Hyne help us."