I know its been awhile since the last chapter, but Arkie is back in business. There should be no more delays this long, unless something goes horribly wrong with my world-domination conspiracy. If any lengthy delays are needed, I will communicate it in my bio. Of course, any lengthy delays could also mean that many of you will soon be at the mercy of my armies of winged raccoons, so there may be no point in trying to read any more fanfiction. Tootles!
Elementary, My Dear Zell:
Metaphoric Rodents
As Zell prepared to open the door leading to the bowels of the Balamb Garden cafeteria, he stopped to shed his bulky trenchcoat, at the behest of Selphie. Encumbered with the video camera, she lingered a few moments to fiddle with several buttons. Once Zell was free from his raiment de noir, he gave another look back over his shoulder. He could almost sense that something was amiss. Some part of his mind seemed to scream that something was wrong. Unfortunately, it happened to be the part of his mind that was normally occupied with thoughts of food, his lack of social grace, and Saturday morning cartoons.
Once his common sense neurons had been sated with this alien tidbit of semi-intelligent supposition, the proverbial hamster proceeded to fall off its proverbial wheel, and, while said hamster was perfectly accustomed to its current predicament, it proceeded to scratch its proverbial little hamster head in frustration. After all, this hamster had spent many years and a great deal of effort to get back up on it's wheel, and then decided that it wasn't worth it, and went to go urinate in some proverbial cedar chips. This quickly restored the routine torrent of drivel flowing across Zell's synapses.
"OK, ready", chimed Selphie with a smirk on her sickeningly adorable face.
Zell nodded and took position next to the door. In typical spy-movie fashion, he cracked the door, and thrust his hands in, apparently gripping his fists. When he realized he wasn't holding a gun, he quickly dropped them to their familiar places at his side. He looked around the dark corridor the opening had revealed: Typical sterile, white hallway that came to a T-junction about thirty feet ahead of him. When he was satisfied the coast was clear, he beckoned to Selphie to enter. She walked in casually as Zell stalked against the wall clandestinely. She giggled inwardly, something she was not accustomed to, since almost any situation lent to a hearty giggle in her fluffy little mind. Nida was going to be pleased when the footage was completed, as would the other students, for whom this tape was intended.
She thought ahead: she and Irvine had staked out the first few turns earlier that morning before being caught and escorted out. There was a veritable maze of hallways back here, some ostensibly leading down to the MD levels where an unknown power source fed the Garden's levitation system, it's electrical devices, and the powerful bank of industrial rotisseries that nurtured the infant hot dogs to golden-brown maturity. There were a myriad of maintenance shafts and offices that a person, probably wearing a costume intended to frighten Zell to the point of psychosis, could hide. Coincidentally, this is exactly what the current situation was.
She smiled as Zell reached the first turn. Irvine was waiting in a heating duct two left and two right turns away. Selphie intended to lead Zell in that direction, ditch him along the way and let Irvine do the rest while she captured the imminent comedy on film, out of sight.
Zell stopped at the turn and waited for her to catch up. She looked down both hallways, pretending to decide where they should go.
"I think all the administrative areas are that way", she remarked, indicating the right fork in the hallway. "Probably nothing useful there. I think we should look for the kitchens."
"I don't know", Zell replied. "They may have some paperwork or something in there. Business vouchers, manifests, something telling where the food came from."
Selphie panicked. Why did Zell have to get smart all of a sudden? They hadn't counted on him doing the intelligent thing; his impulsive attitude had seemed like a magnet for the planned path. But she had to carry on, or the whole thing was shot. She'd have to be more subtle. Or at least a definition of subtle that Zell would understand.
"Well, I think we should look down here. Let's go, now!" She turned defiantly and proceeded down the left path. Zell looked at her pleadingly, then down his desired venue, the look of despondency lacking only soft fur, droopy ears and a wet nose to achieve the ultimate in pitiful misery. His lost-puppy syndrome got the best of him, and he followed Selphie down to the left. When they arrived at another T, she leaned left and said suddenly, "This way!" Immediately she realized how suspicious it must have sounded, and apparently Zell agreed.
"I don't think so. I'm going the other way", and proceeded down to the right.
Selphie was really worried now. If he got off on his own in here, they'd never find him. He was never this smart! Why did this have to happen now? She started to follow him, hoping she could catch him and come up with a story convincing enough to make him come back the correct way. As she rounded the next corner, full, unbridled panic seized her. The corridor was empty. Zell had disappeared.