Well, I'm back and continuing the story, Thanks to all my reviewers: TwilightHunter, icyblue, Mercuria, JadaFlame, Rocket Knight CJ, jade-tiger, Shadow Spirit, Helteage, Ginny, Manda-Chan. This is for you guys ;). So here goes, track 2 on Gutterflower is Think About Me…
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Think About Me
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Bakura watched the boy vanish into the night, but stood out in the rain for a long time staring after him, as if he might reappear. But it was apparent Ryou wasn't coming back. Bakura stepped inside and shut the door slowly, confused. What had just happened. He'd never seen Ryou have such a flare of anger, was that what his aibou really felt. Well who the hell would know with that boy, he was so reclusive. He had a habit of letting things go to easily, Bakura always called him weak. Then he would always lose himself in the world of music, the boy was obsessed with music. The reality of the music business was that it wasn't all glamour, Bakura understood that, he wished his hikari would too.
*You take a lot of chances with your feelings,
No one really knows what you feel.
And fiction is the only way your dealing,
You turn your pretty head if it gets real.*
The white haired yami sighed within himself, he was worried, what if he never came back. Well of course he'd come back, he was patient and forgiving. He wondered why the boy had never said anything before, about waiting, about what he felt. He could have just decked the boy right in the jaw, that would change his mind fast, but no he just had to be weak and use words instead. The dark yami tried but could shake the feeling, Ryou was right, he'd been so obedient, so patient and mild but all he did was ignore him.
*Oh you… you take it so slowly.
And your eyes…Look so lonely.
But it's only,
When you think about me.
Oh yeah,
When you think about me.
Think about me.*
Wait, that wasn't true at all. He did pay attention to Ryou, he did care, he'd just never show it. No, love was a weakness, he'd learned that lesson all to well. It ruins people, it had ruined him. He lay down on Ryou's bed, they had spent many nights together in this bed and it was comforting to him now. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to go into his soul room, considering the ring was with Ryou, that probably wouldn't work out to well. He felt worry come over him once more, what if the boy tried to do something stupid again? Like cut open his wrists. Ryou had tried it before, only Bakura had found him laying on the bedroom floor, the carpet soaked in red. Neither had spoken about the incident afterward, it was silent secret. He hoped to whatever Gods there were that the suicidal nature wasn't in him now. His hikari was so lost within himself at times, it was like he was afraid to be himself. Bakura growled at his inability to relax, he was thinking to much.
*And I got a head don't let me sleep.
You got a secret I can't keep.
You see a little stranger in your mirror;
The boy you never knew is what you fear.*
Still, this night had shaken Bakura more then he wanted to admit, Ryou never spoke like that, it was so unlike him. Ryou had usually been afraid to say what was on his mind. Afraid? The boy was afraid of him, of his own yami? Bakura rolled over restlessly, well he'd never given the boy any reason to like him. The white haired ancient gave a soft whimper, it hurt, right in his chest, he'd made the boy afraid of him, turn against him. His eyes burned, he couldn't recall this feeling before, what did it mean when your eyes burned? He touched his cheek and found it was wet. He sat up, was he crying? Crying over what?! The boy, surly not. "You don't love him, you don't love him." Bakura whispered to himself, pulling his knees to his chest. "You do love him." he said softly before pressing his face into his hands. "Why else would you melt when he smiles? And tremble when you feel him against you? Why fear for his life and for his sanity? Why else would you take him into your bed, even after everything that you've been through? God Damn it!" He turned quickly from his seated position and punched the wall, leaving an imprinted hole and his knuckles marred. He cursed slightly in Arabic when he felt the pain, but over all it felt good to put his frustration into something else. "And now your talking to yourself, that's great Bakura, the first step towards insanity."
He settled down into the bed again, pulling the covers around him this time. He knew he'd shut the boy out, but what choice did he have? It was ironic, earlier that evening just before he'd come home he was sitting at a coffee shop with Malik talking about just that:
"How do you keep so calm?" he'd asked the handsome Egyptian. "How come it doesn't bother you?" Malik looked up, his face so calm, his violet eyes alive with a new life since his yami was gone.
"You think I don't suffer?" Malik said in his serious tone, "That I just simply got over everything that happened to me, I beg your pardon but I'll never get it over it. My fathers murder alone is something that's still hard to accept, I hated the pharaoh with a unbridled passion for years and went as far as to let a dark force consume and ruin me to destroy him; then that force is ripped from me, and I'm told it was my own hand that did it? The lies I was told, the anger I felt, the things that creature did to me and the people I love, I'll never get over it. But I deal with it. I have people who help me, I have Yugi, Mai, much to my surprise even the pharaoh and Seto have offered a hand and the rest of the group as well, even your little Ryou. I mean, for the love of Ra, look at you, sitting across from me every night at this café and talking about it. Even better is my sister, I can't think of anyone else I hurt more then Isis, but she still came running when I asked for her and she's been by my side ever since. If you would stop being so stubborn and talk to Ryou, I'm sure he can help. You love him, and I'm positive he loves you, don't be so blind as to let him get away because your hurting inside."
It was probably the most he'd ever heard Malik say in his life, but he had to admit he was glad that Malik was relatively back to being a normal 16 year old. Well, a normal 16 year old who acted much older. Then again Malik had been forced to grow up very fast, the end result being an introverted, head-strong, slightly picky but caring teen, who had a knack for figuring people out. Though, he still liked the night life, drank on certain occasions and even played guitar for that band Ryou was in. One of his favourites was to grab Bakura and go club hopping, they both certainly looked older enough to get in, and they both enjoyed each others dark broody nature, in a affable way of course. It was nice to know you weren't the only one to feel that way, to have someone who suffered through the same things as you.
But Ryou… Bakura buried his face into a pillow and laughed to himself, he couldn't for the life of him figure that boy out. So patient and at the same time so anxious. He could see it so plain in his aibou's eyes, the loneliness he felt. He'd pushed the boy so far away from him, he wasn't sure if it was possible to get him back.
*Oh you…you take it so slowly.
And your eyes… look so lonely.
But it's only,
When you think about me.
Oh yeah,
When you think about me.
Think about me.*
He knew what Ryou wanted from him, he wanted him to be supportive and loving. To be open, honest, to not just be lovers once in awhile but to have a sincere relationship. That's all the boy had ever wanted, someone to love. Not just anyone, he wanted his darker. Bakura certainly wasn't blind to it, but he was none of those things, he couldn't give him that, it just wasn't who he was and it broke his heart. He'd lost that part of himself somewhere.
*And all you want,
Is something I can't be…
And all you want from me
Is what you need…*
Morning pressed against Bakura's eyes, biding him to wake up and face the day. So he got up and closed the curtain then went back to bed. He slept most of the day, between bouts of thing. Finally he dragged himself out of bed around 5 pm. He'd have to go and talk to Ryou, tell him the truth about why he was always gone and why he was so distant. If he could swallow his pride for that long. Ryou had said something about the band playing tonight at the club, he could just go and talk to him there. That would mean Malik would be there too, playing guitar, good, at least he wouldn't feel like he was there alone to speak with his hikari. Bakura hissed to himself again, stripping of his clothes and getting into the shower, not wanting to go alone, Gods he hated feeling so weak and foolish. He had no idea what he'd say, or even what he felt, but first things first, he'd have to convince Ryou that there was still hope, or at least convince him to come home. He just hoped that it was to late.
*And I'm saying, now you,
You take it so slowly.
And your eyes…
Look so lonely.
Now it's only …
(it's only)
About me…
When you think about me.
Oh yeah…
When you think about me.
Think about me…
When you think about me…*
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Bakura: Yay!! I'm going to get Ryou back!
LYB, Cyris and Malik: O_o U
Bakura: What?
LYB: Sorry, you just looked kinda fun, you know, a 5000 year old tomb robber dancing with happiness…
Bakura: Oh shut-up! At least I'm going to see my aibou again.
LYB: You didn't think it would be that simple did you, I still have another 10 tracks to go through!
Bakura: Ah damn. So what's going to happen?
LYB: To the club and find out.
Bakura: *Shrugs and leaves*
Ryou: *creeps in* Is HE gone?
LYB: Your not still mad are you hikari?
Ryou: Not so much mad as I am soaking wet! Where do I go to if I can't go home?
LYB: *evil grins as an idea forms in her tiny head*
Cyris: *notices the smile* This isn't good. The mistress has a new idea.
LYB: Run along to Yugi's house Ryou, I'll meet you there for chapter 3
Ryou: *brightly* Okay! *runs off*
Malik: So how come I turned up in this?
LYB: Because I think there are far to few stories with you and Isis in them.
Malik: Is that why your writing Darkest Souls?
LYB: ^_^ Partly.
Everyone except LYB: *anime face falls*
LYB: Anyway, Read and Review if you think I should continue this fic!
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Think About Me
****************************************************************************
Bakura watched the boy vanish into the night, but stood out in the rain for a long time staring after him, as if he might reappear. But it was apparent Ryou wasn't coming back. Bakura stepped inside and shut the door slowly, confused. What had just happened. He'd never seen Ryou have such a flare of anger, was that what his aibou really felt. Well who the hell would know with that boy, he was so reclusive. He had a habit of letting things go to easily, Bakura always called him weak. Then he would always lose himself in the world of music, the boy was obsessed with music. The reality of the music business was that it wasn't all glamour, Bakura understood that, he wished his hikari would too.
*You take a lot of chances with your feelings,
No one really knows what you feel.
And fiction is the only way your dealing,
You turn your pretty head if it gets real.*
The white haired yami sighed within himself, he was worried, what if he never came back. Well of course he'd come back, he was patient and forgiving. He wondered why the boy had never said anything before, about waiting, about what he felt. He could have just decked the boy right in the jaw, that would change his mind fast, but no he just had to be weak and use words instead. The dark yami tried but could shake the feeling, Ryou was right, he'd been so obedient, so patient and mild but all he did was ignore him.
*Oh you… you take it so slowly.
And your eyes…Look so lonely.
But it's only,
When you think about me.
Oh yeah,
When you think about me.
Think about me.*
Wait, that wasn't true at all. He did pay attention to Ryou, he did care, he'd just never show it. No, love was a weakness, he'd learned that lesson all to well. It ruins people, it had ruined him. He lay down on Ryou's bed, they had spent many nights together in this bed and it was comforting to him now. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to go into his soul room, considering the ring was with Ryou, that probably wouldn't work out to well. He felt worry come over him once more, what if the boy tried to do something stupid again? Like cut open his wrists. Ryou had tried it before, only Bakura had found him laying on the bedroom floor, the carpet soaked in red. Neither had spoken about the incident afterward, it was silent secret. He hoped to whatever Gods there were that the suicidal nature wasn't in him now. His hikari was so lost within himself at times, it was like he was afraid to be himself. Bakura growled at his inability to relax, he was thinking to much.
*And I got a head don't let me sleep.
You got a secret I can't keep.
You see a little stranger in your mirror;
The boy you never knew is what you fear.*
Still, this night had shaken Bakura more then he wanted to admit, Ryou never spoke like that, it was so unlike him. Ryou had usually been afraid to say what was on his mind. Afraid? The boy was afraid of him, of his own yami? Bakura rolled over restlessly, well he'd never given the boy any reason to like him. The white haired ancient gave a soft whimper, it hurt, right in his chest, he'd made the boy afraid of him, turn against him. His eyes burned, he couldn't recall this feeling before, what did it mean when your eyes burned? He touched his cheek and found it was wet. He sat up, was he crying? Crying over what?! The boy, surly not. "You don't love him, you don't love him." Bakura whispered to himself, pulling his knees to his chest. "You do love him." he said softly before pressing his face into his hands. "Why else would you melt when he smiles? And tremble when you feel him against you? Why fear for his life and for his sanity? Why else would you take him into your bed, even after everything that you've been through? God Damn it!" He turned quickly from his seated position and punched the wall, leaving an imprinted hole and his knuckles marred. He cursed slightly in Arabic when he felt the pain, but over all it felt good to put his frustration into something else. "And now your talking to yourself, that's great Bakura, the first step towards insanity."
He settled down into the bed again, pulling the covers around him this time. He knew he'd shut the boy out, but what choice did he have? It was ironic, earlier that evening just before he'd come home he was sitting at a coffee shop with Malik talking about just that:
"How do you keep so calm?" he'd asked the handsome Egyptian. "How come it doesn't bother you?" Malik looked up, his face so calm, his violet eyes alive with a new life since his yami was gone.
"You think I don't suffer?" Malik said in his serious tone, "That I just simply got over everything that happened to me, I beg your pardon but I'll never get it over it. My fathers murder alone is something that's still hard to accept, I hated the pharaoh with a unbridled passion for years and went as far as to let a dark force consume and ruin me to destroy him; then that force is ripped from me, and I'm told it was my own hand that did it? The lies I was told, the anger I felt, the things that creature did to me and the people I love, I'll never get over it. But I deal with it. I have people who help me, I have Yugi, Mai, much to my surprise even the pharaoh and Seto have offered a hand and the rest of the group as well, even your little Ryou. I mean, for the love of Ra, look at you, sitting across from me every night at this café and talking about it. Even better is my sister, I can't think of anyone else I hurt more then Isis, but she still came running when I asked for her and she's been by my side ever since. If you would stop being so stubborn and talk to Ryou, I'm sure he can help. You love him, and I'm positive he loves you, don't be so blind as to let him get away because your hurting inside."
It was probably the most he'd ever heard Malik say in his life, but he had to admit he was glad that Malik was relatively back to being a normal 16 year old. Well, a normal 16 year old who acted much older. Then again Malik had been forced to grow up very fast, the end result being an introverted, head-strong, slightly picky but caring teen, who had a knack for figuring people out. Though, he still liked the night life, drank on certain occasions and even played guitar for that band Ryou was in. One of his favourites was to grab Bakura and go club hopping, they both certainly looked older enough to get in, and they both enjoyed each others dark broody nature, in a affable way of course. It was nice to know you weren't the only one to feel that way, to have someone who suffered through the same things as you.
But Ryou… Bakura buried his face into a pillow and laughed to himself, he couldn't for the life of him figure that boy out. So patient and at the same time so anxious. He could see it so plain in his aibou's eyes, the loneliness he felt. He'd pushed the boy so far away from him, he wasn't sure if it was possible to get him back.
*Oh you…you take it so slowly.
And your eyes… look so lonely.
But it's only,
When you think about me.
Oh yeah,
When you think about me.
Think about me.*
He knew what Ryou wanted from him, he wanted him to be supportive and loving. To be open, honest, to not just be lovers once in awhile but to have a sincere relationship. That's all the boy had ever wanted, someone to love. Not just anyone, he wanted his darker. Bakura certainly wasn't blind to it, but he was none of those things, he couldn't give him that, it just wasn't who he was and it broke his heart. He'd lost that part of himself somewhere.
*And all you want,
Is something I can't be…
And all you want from me
Is what you need…*
Morning pressed against Bakura's eyes, biding him to wake up and face the day. So he got up and closed the curtain then went back to bed. He slept most of the day, between bouts of thing. Finally he dragged himself out of bed around 5 pm. He'd have to go and talk to Ryou, tell him the truth about why he was always gone and why he was so distant. If he could swallow his pride for that long. Ryou had said something about the band playing tonight at the club, he could just go and talk to him there. That would mean Malik would be there too, playing guitar, good, at least he wouldn't feel like he was there alone to speak with his hikari. Bakura hissed to himself again, stripping of his clothes and getting into the shower, not wanting to go alone, Gods he hated feeling so weak and foolish. He had no idea what he'd say, or even what he felt, but first things first, he'd have to convince Ryou that there was still hope, or at least convince him to come home. He just hoped that it was to late.
*And I'm saying, now you,
You take it so slowly.
And your eyes…
Look so lonely.
Now it's only …
(it's only)
About me…
When you think about me.
Oh yeah…
When you think about me.
Think about me…
When you think about me…*
*************************************************************************
Bakura: Yay!! I'm going to get Ryou back!
LYB, Cyris and Malik: O_o U
Bakura: What?
LYB: Sorry, you just looked kinda fun, you know, a 5000 year old tomb robber dancing with happiness…
Bakura: Oh shut-up! At least I'm going to see my aibou again.
LYB: You didn't think it would be that simple did you, I still have another 10 tracks to go through!
Bakura: Ah damn. So what's going to happen?
LYB: To the club and find out.
Bakura: *Shrugs and leaves*
Ryou: *creeps in* Is HE gone?
LYB: Your not still mad are you hikari?
Ryou: Not so much mad as I am soaking wet! Where do I go to if I can't go home?
LYB: *evil grins as an idea forms in her tiny head*
Cyris: *notices the smile* This isn't good. The mistress has a new idea.
LYB: Run along to Yugi's house Ryou, I'll meet you there for chapter 3
Ryou: *brightly* Okay! *runs off*
Malik: So how come I turned up in this?
LYB: Because I think there are far to few stories with you and Isis in them.
Malik: Is that why your writing Darkest Souls?
LYB: ^_^ Partly.
Everyone except LYB: *anime face falls*
LYB: Anyway, Read and Review if you think I should continue this fic!