Finally! After God Knows How Long! I'm finally done the final chapter of Gutterflower! *there's the sound of random party favors, Champaign bottles popping, cheers and other totally random things.* And I'm using the song I'm Still Here even though it's not on the CD Gutterflower, because it is the Goo Goo Dolls and I love it. ^_^
First of all, I'm dedicating this to everyone who has enjoyed Gutterflower and has been reviewing and reading loyally, you guys are the greatest!!!! T_T, I can't believe it's finally over... wow... but fear not! There are two sequels in the making, a Yami and Yugi and one with Malik. (Cause just look at the loose ends I have to tie up.)
Second of all, I want to also dedicate this chapter to Kawaii lil Angel Of Darkness, because it was her song that originally inspired my to write a part in this chapy. She wrote it based off of Gutterflower and her own life some time ago and I absolutely love it so I had to write it in. I hope you all love the song as much as I do. And yes lil Angel, I got Michelle Branch to sing it. ;) Everyone check out her poetry and songs! She's fantastic!
Third, I have some pic's I have to upload that I drew for Gutterflower, keep watching my profile and I'll post up an address that you can check them out at once I get them scanned. And check out http://www.geocities.com/cell_fighter/gutterflower.html It's a pic by Sailor Comet of the picture on Ryou's nightstand I mentioned back in "It's Over". Check it out! I love Sailor Comet!!!!
Third; I'm going to answer a few reviews before I get going with the story, that way, I don't have to end on one of my rambling rampages, because you all know by now how much I ramble.
Psycho_Mime: He ya go ;)
Black Balloon: I'm using I'm still here in this chappy! I love it too! I only wrote that cuz when my band found the tabs for the song, that's what the lyric read. But since you mentioned it I went back and listened to the song… and your right, it does sound like innocence! I'll go back and change it.
Umbreon: Don't feel bad… Malik is singing "naked" over and over again in my head till I give him his own fic… MONTY PYTHON RULES ALL!! I love monty python!! *Starts singing* Alllllways look on the brrright side…
A Laugh That Is Evil: She is? Wow… That's just cool. I find much of their work very inspirational, particularly some of their work in the CD dizzy up the girl, a lot of that is very literal. Songs like "flattop" make you think too.
Bakura's Baby: I know I've done my job as an author If those images are there! I kept having those flashes when I listened to the Cd the first few times and they got worst every time I listened until I finally wrote this. And Bakura's comment to Malik? Yeah, it just seemed to sound like him :)
Sailor Comet: I love to write comedy now and then, you always need to throw in a smartass remark or two… or three… or… O_o U…
RyogazGal: I hope this doesn't get lost in cyberspace… I love it so much!
Saki: Yami and Yugi it is! And a Malik!
Caitlin aka Kimbralwyn: Thank you very much! I love to breath life into every character, mine or someone else's (such as the yugioh characters)
Ame Tenshi: I know how that feels, I hate it when people ruin a perfectly good day. Anyway, yeah, I only put Mild fluff in here, so Your safe ;)
Bakura: What is it?
LYB: *sobs* I can't believe this is the last chapter!
Ryou: It is???
Bakura and Ryou: *start doing a happy dance*
Bakura: ^___^ No more sappy story musing for us!
Cyris: *bops them with a foam bat*
Bakura and Ryou: @_@...
LYB: ^_^ now I feel better! It's been great everyone! I love you all!!! *gives all her reviewers hugz*
Bakura: I love all my loyal subjects... err... I mean fans... yes fans... I enjoy all my time in the spot light.
Ryou: THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!
Yami: And thanks for giving Yugi and I our own story ^__^
Yugi: O_o... We have our own story now?
Yami: Yup. When LYB is done writing Drawing Down the Moon.
Yugi: YAY!!!
Cyris: o_O U...
Everyone: BYE FOR NOW!!!!!!
!@#$%^&*
Notes about this chapter everyone should know:
1. There's no lemon in this chapter, but there is a bit of cute fluff. Enjoy!!
2. The song Malik is singing is "Naked" by the Goo Goo Dolls, the same one they preformed in the last chapter after Truth is a Whisper. Check out the lyrics and see where I'm going with this.
3. Seriously, Bakura does look like that in the past. Don't believe me? When your done reading this check out members.shaw.ca/jenniyah/frame.html (no www. ) click on the link that reads "Yugioh comics" she has the most resent issues of the Yugioh manga scanned and translated, you can see first hand what Bakura, Isis, Malik (the good one, not the yami) and Kaiba all looked like back in Egypt. (And what's with Malik owning the ring??? Is anyone else confused??? And Malik created the Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl??? I have to give Takahashi credit! Yugioh just keeps getting better!!) 'Kura looks freaky, really strong... wonder how he got that scar?
4. The minute I heard the sonnet "Silence" by Edgar Allan Poe and started clapping my hands and saying "Yami's and Hikari's!"... Sad I know...
!@#$%^&*
*Lyrics*
#Song on the radio#
/Ryou to Bakura/
//Bakura to Ryou//
**********************************************************
I'm Still Here
**********************************************************
Ryou stood outside the game shop, staring down the moonlit road, clutching his guitar case tightly in his hand. Home seemed so close and so far. How had he run all the way here so many nights ago? It seemed impossible now. "What are you waiting for Ryou-cun?" a warm voiced asked. Ryou took a deep breath and let it out.
"A miracle." he answered with a good natured smile.
"Don't ask for miracles." Yugi replied, stepping up beside him, "Miracles go wrong. Why not ask for hope instead? Hope makes more amazing things happen then any miracle."
Ryou laughed, "I suppose your right. My miracles never did quite turn out like I expected."
"Neither did mine." Yugi said with a smile, poking the taller boy playfully "But at least with hope you can't go wrong, everything turns out then. We're still best friends and you still have a yami who loves you."
"So do you."
Yugi blushed a bit "Yeah, I know. Good luck, Ryou. I hope everything works out for you."
"You too, Yugi. I'll call you tomorrow about our next practice at the studio."
Yugi nodded and glanced back at the door that was opened, shining light from the game shop out onto their light part of the road. Yami looked out on them from the door and nodded to the white haired boy. Ryou smiled and gave a small, parting wave. Neither of them needed to say anymore, the thankful expressions on their faces said all that needed to be. Ryou offered a final goodbye to Yugi before stepping forward out of the circle of light, moving onward into the dark to find another door that would open to him. He kept pace to the corner before turning out of sight.
Yugi gazed after him until he vanished around the bend, then turned to the door and walked slowly towards his darker. "Are you okay?" Yami said softly, after a moment of silence, reaching out to touch his hikari's cheek. Yugi looked up at him, the sweet smile Yami had come to love played across his lips.
"Yami?"
"Yes?"
Yugi's smile dropped into a distant, sad one. "Do you know who I am?"
Yami blinked, "Of course. Your Yugi. My light."
Yugi seemed to think about this a moment. "Oh." He looked up at his yami again. "Hey Yami?"
"Yes abiou?"
"Do you want to get a movie or something?" Yugi smiled hopefully, "Just the two of us?" Yami smiled.
"Anything you want Yugi."
@~8~ @~8~ @~8~
Ryou glanced around, he was approaching the park and noted to himself he was about half way to home. The park was wonderfully calm this time of night and the feeling of peace rubbed off on Ryou.
"I thought you'd be home by now." A rich voice said, cutting into his thoughts. Ryou glanced around and his eyes fell on a figure stretched out under a tree, taking a drag on a cigarette.
"Malik." Ryou said warmly, the blond Egyptian snuffed out his cigarette and sat up.
"So why aren't you home?" He smirked, "Bakura must be freaking out with nervousness."
"I had to get my guitar." Ryou explained, "I can't go anywhere without it. I'm walking home now, actually."
Malik laughed a bit then rose, brushing out his jeans. "I'll walk with you, if you want. I'm suffering from insomnia tonight."
"Feel free." Ryou answered gesturing for Malik to join him. "It'd be good to talk with you anyway."
"Oh?" Malik said, coming to Ryou's side and they started to walk down the road.
"Yeah… I just wanted to thank you… for everything you've done. I know you're the one who's been on Bakura's case."
"That'd be me." Malik nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. "He can be a stubborn prick sometimes, someone needs to get on him."
"Thank you." Ryou said again with a smile.
"Anytime." Malik replied, tilting his head back slightly to look at the stars, his wispy blond hair brushing over his shoulders. They blinked back at him sadly. "A word of advice for you, Ryou." He said slowly, Ryou looked at him. "He's not going to give you any answers as to why he's the way he is or what make him act the way he does. He just does. The guy is a paradox of himself, aggressive and shy, strong and weak. You don't get anywhere by pushing him forward, because he'll push right back against you. Don't expect him to warm up to you instantly, he's hard to hold. He hates being held. It takes awhile; but once you get in there..." He trailed off, then ran a hand through his hair, brushing it away from his face "Just don't expect to much from him. In his mind he has nothing to offer, you'll be disappointed if you go into this expecting something."
Ryou nodded slowly, kicking a rock from his path. "I see that now. I think it's something I've always known but never wanted to accept. He's a mystery to everyone, even himself."
"So are you." Malik replied with a smirk.
"And you." Ryou retorted. Malik made a sound, something like that of laughter and something like a sigh.
*I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms*
And what do you think you'd ever say
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want~
Me to be*
Ryou looked up at the sky, admiring the stars as Malik was. "You understand him pretty well, don't you?" Ryou said out of the blue. Malik nodded.
"Better then I know myself." Malik shook his head and glanced around the empty street. "It's kinda funny when you think about it." Ryou raised a brow at this, Malik shook his head and gave a motion of his hand to dismiss the remark. "I know him as well as I can, no one can ever really ~know~ someone completely, inside and out, that's impossible, to do that you'd literally have to become that person. So, I suppose you can say, I know him as well as he'll let me know him."
Ryou looked thoughtful, "It's just...in all honest - he has a way of knowing things I'll never understand. He changes his ways so often, you'd swear he was two or three different people all rolled into one."
*And what
Do you think you'd understand?
I'm boy, no, I'm a man.
You can't take me~
And throw me away*
Malik chuckled, "Nice analogy, but that's not really true. He never pretends to be something he's not and that's what you have a hard time understanding, he only shows part of himself. No one knows him really, I suppose; that's why your so special to him. He can see something good and light in you, something he had forgotten along time ago. He's drawn to you because there's a part in him that wants to know there's still some good left in the world. If you're patience, you'll see inside of him in time."
"I suppose." Ryou answered, taking this in. He was quiet a moment. "Hey Malik?"
"Yes?"
"Have you ever been in love?"
Malik laughed, violet eyed flashed a sense of irony. "Of course. Why do you ask?"
Ryou blushed slightly at his own curiosity. "You just don't seem like the type that could fall in love. Your... kind of your own person, in your own world."
"Bakura fell in love with you." Malik pointed out. Ryou blushed deeper.
"I suppose so."
Malik looked thoughtful. "Yes, I've been in love. It's a wonderful and awful feeling."
Ryou looked at him surprised. "Why do you say awful? What did she do?"
Malik just gave a disregarding shrug. "HE didn't love me the way I loved him. There was just nothing in him. Then I started to fall again, but this one... he was a dark angel... though I never did tell him what I felt. He loved someone else, as simple as that. And first and foremost, he was my friend, so I put aside what I felt and I always encouraged him. Their very happy together now, they make a good couple."
"At least their happy." Ryou said sympathetically. Malik nodded, a contented look on his face.
Ryou smiled at the Egyptian "Maybe I'll never understand my yami... but it's worth a try, right?"
Malik nodded, smirking slightly, "Right."
*And how
Can you learn what's never shown
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here*
Ryou glanced up and took a deep breath. "Home..." he whispered gently, as they approached the house and stopped. "Here's where I get off." Ryou said, looking up, a faint light flickered in the bedroom window.
"Good luck," Malik said, as the silver haired boy walked up the steps.
"Thanks," Ryou replied, nodding slightly, "For everything."
Malik just smiled and shrugged. "It's what I live for." he winked, making Ryou laugh and with a final wave, Ryou disappeared inside the house. Malik's smile fell into a distant look and he glanced up at the window as the silhouette of a boy just a head taller then Ryou cast a reflection on the glass.
"Inside you head..." Malik sang softly,
"No one's there.
And I don't think I'll ever be..." he smiled bitterly.
"And I don't care."
Malik pushed his hands deeper down into his pockets, "So this is good-bye, Bakura, dark angel. As long as your happy..." He continued down the road, humming to himself, a soothing song that reminded him of why he got Ryou to write it.
@~8~ @~8~ @~8~
Ryou stood just inside the doorway of the house, closing the door behind him. It was dark and quiet, save for a few sounds and a warm glow from upstairs, very much like the last time he had been here. Only now it was different. This time may not end the same way, this time he was here to stay - at least, that's what he hoped. He tightened his grip on his guitar case and took a deep breath, his heart pounding as he started up the stairs. Nervous tension made it hard to move, yet there was a part of him that wanted to run to the room that the dim light was shining out of through a crack in the door.
Ryou slowly pushed the door open, expecting to see his yami there as before, painting on the makeshift canvas, but the room was empty. Candles burned as they had before, making the large paintings on the wall appear all the more Egyptian. Ryou glanced about, curious as to where his handsomely dark spirit could be as he lay down his guitar beside the bed. He turned his head a bit, glancing at the strange angel looking out over the room from the wall, and paused. He approached it deftly, a hand extended to touch the grey robe hanging from the figure's graceful form. He let his fingers follow the ruffled folds of paint up over the two different wings, one feathered and white, the other smooth and black, then travel to the face of the fallen angel. Like the wings and robe, the face had a division. One half was placid and gentle with a soft smile, while the other half glared from under much wilder hair. Deep brown eyes peered out at him from under smooth and spiked white bangs - one eye modest, the other marred by suspicion. Hikari and yami in one fleeting moment of unity. "Change of heart," he whispered gently, running his fingers down the dark side of the angel's face. "The both of us, together as one."
He let his eyes wander across the rest of the picture. Words scrawled themselves as white stars over a desert sky and danced among flames that licked up from somewhere underneath the paper. A great goddess knelt in the upper corner, her wings spread wide as she looked down over the desert skies and sands below and her mouth open as if she were speaking. Ryou paused a moment, seeing no one else in the picture; but then he saw it, so beautifully and intricately painted that it took a moment to notice, but once he did it was hard to see it any other way. The sky itself was a woman, lying on her stomach and held aloft by a man formed only of faint vapours and clouds. Below them, the earth was a man lying on his side, looking upward to the heavenly sky woman and winged goddess. On the other side danced flames of orange and gold, figures moving themselves in a silent story Ryou could not understand. A dark man held a woman to the ground with his foot while beckoning to another figure cloaked in earthy brown. The figure in brown was turned away, revealing the right side of his face to be horribly marred by a double-crossed scar that ran from his temple over his eye and down his cheek. His arms stretched to the sky, but his eyes turned back to the woman on the ground, who held his leg firmly with one hand while her face and other hand pleaded with him to flee. It was such a paradox, but the cloaked figure couldn't free himself from her even as she wished him to go. He pleaded for his freedom, reaching up to the sky where the angel floated and gazed down with sorrowful violet eyes. Blonde hair licked around the angels face as he held a small blonde boy in his arms. The boy's eyes were closed and there was a sort of angry pain about him, but the angel couldn't help the cloaked figure. Over his shoulder loomed a dark violet expanse; an undefined winged figure lurking within that darkness, reaching out and clawing the feathers from the tips of the angel's wings. It seethed there, threatening to swallow the angel and figure in brown whole. Flames surrounded the unsettling image, twisting upward in a remarkably soothing way and giving a stillness to the motion in the picture as if to freeze the moment in time. Within the fire were other words, verses half hidden amid the paints.
Music drifted out comfortingly from the radio and Ryou smiled, closing his eyes and listening to the soothing rhythm of notes heralding a song's beginning. He hummed with it for a moment before letting his body sway gently and gave in to the urge to dance to the music. He turned around gracefully, moving deftly to the music only to bump into something warm and firm. "You like this song?" a dark voice laughed.
*And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here*
Ryou felt himself blush with embarrassment when he looked up to see Bakura smiling down at him in amusement. He stepped away, offering his yami an apologetic smile. "I've listened to this song a lot lately..." Ryou admitted, looking away as he felt his flush grow. "Kinda my new favourite. It's Michelle Branch..."
Bakura gave a low laugh and turned around gracefully, stepping away with fluid movement associated with a dancer, or in his case, an expert thief. "Come dance with me," The dark spirit whispered breathlessly, extending a hand out to the boy who held his very soul. Ryou looked hesitantly at the arm held out for him before letting his eyes find their way up to his yami's face and was mildly surprised to find no malice or trickery there - just a tenderness that only appeared in very rare moments. Bakura offered a small smile and stretched his hand out a bit further, silently offering his request again. Ryou reached out, laying his hand in the one offered to him, and Bakura wrapped his fingers around the delicate hand placed in his trust. He raised his arm, pulling Ryou gently to him and wrapping an arm about his waist. Ryou giggled and put his hand on Bakura's shoulder. The ancient spirit laughed smoothly, tightening his hold around the youth's body so they were pressed together, and began leading him in a leisurely dance.
#Sitting at my window
Listening to those old love songs
Thoughts of you plaguing my mind
Can hardly think straight when you're gone
How did I end up like this
Lovesick over a single being
But all I know...
Is that I need you around
To fill this song with blissful sound
This torture of confusion consumes me
Can't find the right path to take
The passion I feel for you surrounds me
I can't see the right decision to make
All I can see...
Is my love for you
And my pleas for all my wishes to come true#
Bakura let his mind drift along with the words of the song. They seemed to suit his mood so perfectly. He looked down at the boy in his arms. Ryou's lips were turned up in a shy and peaceful smile; his eyes were distant and gazing away into space, running over the song's lyrics in his head as well. Bakura felt his heart sigh in his chest as he gazed at him; he couldn't compare it to anything he'd felt before. It was like he was about to die, and in that last peaceful moment before falling asleep he had made his peace with the world. The whole world was turning over. Peace... He had forgotten what it felt like. But this was more then peace - this was contentment, just a frail yet beautifully moving image of a moth drawn irresistibly to the flame. Only this time when he touched it, the flame didn't burn him, it took shelter in his arms and held him back. He pulled Ryou a bit closer, terrified to think how close he had come to putting the flame he loved so much out forever. Bakura chewed on his lip thoughtfully and looped a bit of Ryou's hair around his finger.
#I wish to see your smile
Hear your sweet voice
Feel your arms around me
Holding me tight
Your soft whispers
Telling me that what I feel is right
This torture of confusion consumes me
Can't find the right path to take
The passion I feel for you surrounds me
I can't see the right decision to make
All I can see...
Is my love for you
And my pleas for all my wishes to come true#
Ryou raised his head, looking up into the sharp dark eyes of his other half as they made another circle in their dance. Ryou smiled shyly and glanced downwards, away from the affectionate gaze placed on him. He wasn't used to this kind of attention. "You ever wonder about the way things work out?" he asked in such a soft voice Bakura could barely discern it.
"What do you mean?" Bakura asked with slight smile, taking Ryou's hand and holding it above their heads. Ryou gave a small amused laugh and spun a circle underneath the outstretched arm before allowing himself to be pulled back into the embrace, still holding Bakura's hand.
"Just two hours ago, we could barely look at each other straight, but then... Well... Look at us."
Bakura smirked slightly, continuing to lead their dance across the bedroom floor. "Yeah... It's funny..." He said vaguely, losing himself once more in his hikari's warm chocolate eyes. He could almost see the swirls of colour in them, the dim colours created in his mind by the emotions and secrets they kept. He let himself search for each of them, but for the first time never looked for it in his little angel's mind. He put faces to colour, stories to name, reaching across the elegant light that bound them together by the wrists of their souls, heart to heart. It was something he'd never really tried to do before. //I can see it,// he whispered breathlessly.
/See what?/ came the soothed replied.
//The notes, the way they flow... how they come into your heart. It's your music... I can see it in your eyes. It speaks from your soul. You have a beautiful heart...//
#Time is running short
I'm killing myself with doubt
These rocky paths are making me stumble
Can't find my way out
Can't find my way to your heart
This torture of confusion consumes me
Can't find the right path to take
The passion I feel for you surrounds me
I can't see the right decision to make
All I can see...
Is my love for you
And my pleas for all my wishes to come true#
There was a moment of beautiful silent between them, Bakura simply stared, taking in every detail of Ryou's face to memory. Etching it there so he could reach back and remember exactly what he looked like at that exact moment in time. He shifted his hand slightly, pressing it palm to palm and finger to finger with Ryou's and turned his head slightly, marvelling at how Ryou's hand seemed smaller against his, and how his own skin seemed just a bit darker.
*And you see the things they never see
All you wanted - I could be
Now you know me
And I'm not afraid*
He curled his fingers around his hikari's and brought the boy's fingers to his lips kissing them gently, catching Ryou's eyes again. Ryou smiled and gave a small sigh. "Yami? I think..."
"Shhh...." Bakura in a low husky voice, pressing his finger to Ryou's lips then leaned down and kissed the finger "...just dance..."
#All I can see... Mmmm Yeah.
Is a picture of you with me
And a song with no words
Singing my love beautifully...#
The song trailed off into an ending and for a moment they just stood silently, staring at each other. Bakura shoved his hands into his pockets, taking up his regular casual stance and carefully examining a nonexistent stain in the carpet. Ryou smiled in his gentle way and glanced behind his yami to look once more at the images covering the wall. "When did you do these? I was looking at them... It wasn't done when I was here yesterday," Ryou said, walking toward the paintings in an effort to distract them from the strange silence.
"I started them the other day," Bakura replied, looking the paintings over, "just after I ran into you on the street. I haven't painted or written since I was around fifteen, but Malik thought I should take it up again. Something about it clearing my head. I think he was right."
"They're amazing," Ryou acknowledged, letting his eyes follow the intense colours.
"You like my work?" a breathless voice whispered in his ear. Ryou felt a warm thrill travel down his spine as strong arms wrapped around his waist. He nodded, feeling all words leave him and swallowing.
"I like this one," he said softly, letting his fingers run across the wings of the heartbroken angel and the child in his arms. "What is it?"
"Hell." Bakura answered, nuzzling against Ryou's hair, delighting in its softness and the way it seemed so cool against his skin.
"Who are these people?"
"Those who are trapped there... and those who keep them there." Bakura told him, looking at the picture thoughtfully. Ryou nodded and leaned back into the arms around him, his eyes scanning the picture and trying to put names to the faces - the angel and the child, but he could think of no one with short ragged white hair and a scarred face. Bakura merely hmmed thoughtfully at the image.
*And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am*
Ryou reached out once more, touching the scarred figure thoughtfully. "Watch your arm." Bakura smirked, breaking Ryou's thoughts and Ryou cast his yami a glance.
"Why?"
"The ink is wet," Bakura replied, stepping away and gesturing to Ryou's sleeve, which had been smudged with brown and a tinge of avocado green from the figure's cloak. Ryou gave a slight thoughtful noise, looking at the splash vivid colours against the white of his shirt.
"Beginnings..." he muttered distantly.
"Excuse me?" Bakura said, raising a brow in curiosity.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Ryou apologized, quickly turning from staring at the colours. "It's just... that shade of green is supposed to symbolize beginnings."
"Oh..." Bakura commented and ran a hand through his hair, for once in his life finding himself at a loss for words. What do you say to someone after putting them through a month... scratch that, more like six years of hell and you're trying to rebuild something that had never really existed? The irony wasn't lost on Bakura. "Here," He said finally, holding out his hand. "I'll wash it, or that ink will never come out." Ryou blinked in surprise for a moment before Bakura rolled his eyes. "Trust me. I've become an expert at getting that shit out of clothes. Now, are you going to give me your shirt or stand there like a moron until the sun comes up?" Ryou shook his head, reluctantly removing his shirt and tossing it to Bakura. "There, that wasn't so hard." Bakura walked into the bathroom just outside the room, filled the sink with hot water and started to rub the ink steadily out of the delicate fabric.
"Hey, yami?" Ryou called out.
"Yes?" Bakura answered, lazily wrapping the fabric around his fingers and scrubbing the stained material against itself.
"Thank you."
Bakura paused, wondering why those two word moved him so much and if it would have the same effect if it were someone else. "Your welcome." he answered finally and let himself smile at nothing.
*And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They can't see me
But I'm still here*
Bakura dropped the shirt into the water and rinsed it clean. He hung it over the rail of the shower to dry before returning to the bedroom to find Ryou still examining the painting. He stood in the doorway for a minute or two, admiring how beautiful his light looked, standing shirtless in the dim light of the room caught up in reading the verses on the wall.
"What a scene... What do you need... Think about me... You wrote all of these?" Ryou asked, looking over the verses, completely sincere.
"Never thought I was a poet, huh?" Bakura smirked.
Ryou laughed a bit. "They're not poems, yami."
Bakura gave him a look. "Then what are they? Postcard messages? That's how I've written ever since I was little."
Ryou laughed and turn his head to glance at his dark as he came up beside him. "They're songs. See? You repeat things, in a set rhythm. That makes them verses." Bakura raised a brow at his hikari. Ryou just smiled sweetly and went on, "Here, I'll show you." He grabbed his guitar case and laid it on the floor, opening it up and removing his guitar. He sat down, resting the instrument in his lap. "Pick one of your verses." Bakura looked at him thoughtfully, then turned back to his mural, skimming the words thoughtfully until he found one that he liked.
"This one." Bakura said, laying a finger on the lines.
"What's it called?"
Bakura shrugged. "Smash, I suppose... seems to fit." He felt the warmth of the link pass between them and he opened up his thought for his hikari, showing him exactly the rhythm that the poem followed and letting his memorize the words.
"I can work with that…" Ryou said thoughtfully, more to himself then Bakura and started plucking the strings on his guitar, fooling around with a few cords for a few minutes.
Bakura sat down at Ryou's feet and rested his head on Ryou's lap, listening to him work. Ryou laughed slightly, looking down at his yami who was tracing lazy circles with his finger over Ryou's bare feet. Bakura raised his head slightly, stray white hairs falling across his face as he looked up at Ryou. He folded his arms across Ryou's knees, staring up at the boy intently, lost in gazing at his angel. He slowly raised his hand to brush it against Ryou's cheek, admiring the softness of his skin. "Soft..." he whispered thoughtfully, "like flower petals..." Ryou closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, smiling. Bakura ran his fingers down Ryou's cheek to his lips. "Yes, that's it... gutterflower."
"Gutterflower?" Ryou questioned, opening his eyes and looking at his yami with a loving gaze. Bakura smiled affectionately, cradling Ryou's cheek in his hand.
"My gutterflower… something in such a desolate place, but still you survive and still so delicate. That's what you are… a flower that blooms in the most unexpected places…"
Ryou smiled tenderly, touched by the words and leaned over his guitar, kissing the top of his yami's head. "Thank you." Bakura simply gave a contented smile and lowered his hand then rested his head on Ryou's lap again, looking blissfully peaceful.
"I have it." Ryou said proudly, after another few minutes of playing with random notes.
"Let's here it." Bakura responded, sitting up on the bed beside Ryou.
"Hey...what are you thinkin'?
I tried to read your face.
Say...say what you're thinkin'
Don't carry round that pain...
Every time I see you pickin' at yourself~
I love...I love when things work out.
Ya, every time I see you torturin' yourself~
I love...I love when things work out.
And I see it from another place right now,
I'm comin' home before I hit the ground
Right back where I want to be right now
Smash
And I feel it.
Smash
And I feel it,
Right now…"
Bakura smiled vaguely, as the lyric finished and rested his head against Ryou's bare shoulder, content to just rest there and listen to the music as his light ended the song. "I like that." Ryou said at last with a nod of his head, "we make a good team, your lyrics and my music."
Bakura chuckled "Your welcome to any of the writings on my wall, if you want them." he raised his head and glanced at the ink pen on the bedside stand then at Ryou's back before grabbing it and artistically scrawling his name in twisting letters on Ryou's shoulder. Ryou glanced back over his shoulder, curious as to what his yami was doing to him.
"What are you doing?"
Bakura shrugged and stated, "I'm impulsive." He looked at his name; it just looked like it belonged there, but something was missing. He picked up his box of inks and cracked it open, mixing the colours he wanted then taking the brush and tracing some basic lines on Ryou's back.
Ryou laughed when he realized what his yami was doing. "What are you painting?" he asked, trying to look over his own shoulder.
"I don't know," Bakura answered as he raised his brush again, dragging the colour across the pale skin, causing Ryou to twitch a bit.
"It's cold..."
"It'll warm up in a minute," Bakura assured him and continued to work, enjoying the way the designs of his own mind looked so at home on Ryou's back. He mixed a dark green and started to give shape to the idea in his head. The rich colour looked good against Ryou's smooth skin and he found his mind wandering back to what Ryou said about the colour. New beginnings... The ironic thought struck him again, to rebuild something that never really had existed. 'No, not rebuilding something...' Bakura corrected himself as he looked at the colour that shone so well on the pale skin. 'Building something new, starting over from scratch... A new beginning on a clean canvas.'
*They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe...*
"How long will this take?" Ryou asked, glancing backward.
"You don't mind, do you?" Bakura responded with a question, starting to mix a sunset orange in his tray.
"Oh, no." Ryou said, shaking his head with a smile. "If feels nice... Really soothing. I don't mind at all. But I can make it a bit easier for you."
"How so?"
Ryou waited until he felt Bakura raise his brush from his shoulder before leaning forward to lay his guitar on the floor. Then, carefully so as not to smudge any of his yami's work, he stretched out facedown on the bed. He folded his arms under his chin and glanced up at the ancient boy beside him, pulling his long hair out of the way for the artist. "Better?"
"Much." Bakura whispered gently and leaned over, tracing a line of kisses down the back of his hikari's neck and across his shoulder. Ryou smiled and purred at the touch. "I like this," Bakura said huskily, nuzzling Ryou's hair. Ryou giggled softly and Bakura planted a quick kiss on his cheek before sitting up and starting to work again. "Arms at your side," Bakura commanded, tapping Ryou's elbow with the back of his brush, "or the picture on your shoulder blade will be lopsided." Ryou obeyed and Bakura offered him a pillow to lay his head on instead.
*And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can you say I'll never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
'Cause I'm still here
I'm the one
'Cause I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here*
Time moved by in a lazy fashion. Ryou drifted in and out of a semi-conscious state of bliss. His mind wandered down paths of elapsed dreams and wishes now slowly being rekindled by a flame he had forgotten he harboured inside of himself, lulled by the steady movement of the brush against his skin. He smiled as he thought about how gentle his yami was being - sitting patiently, adding more depth to the painting both real and reflected with each loving stroke. Careful and patient, the art brought out the best in the both of them, Ryou supposed.
//Ryou?//
/Mmm...?/
//I'm finished.//
Ryou blinked his eyes open, figuring he must have fallen asleep. He fought the urge to stretch so as to keep from accidentally ruining all of his dark's work. "Can I look now?" he asked with a smile.
"Go ahead, just be careful getting up. Some spots aren't dry," Bakura answered with a soft smile as he started to put the inks away. Ryou sat up slowly and craned his neck so that he could see his back in the dresser mirror. For a moment he was totally speechless. "Like it?" Bakura asked, looking at the mirror so he could see what Ryou saw.
"It's beautiful," Ryou breathed, gazing at the intense colours that created the image. Its detail was amazing and Ryou had no trouble discerning what he was seeing. He felt a smile cross his lips, touched by his yami's gesture. The picture was of the two of them as they had been a few hours before, dancing in each other's arms. The fabric of their clothes was ruffled and their hair slightly twisted, as if they were caught in mid-movement, and behind them stretched a desert landscape shaded by the blacks, purples and reds of a sky at the very depths of twilight. In the dying sunlight at the very edge of the painting stood two lone figures; they were small and easy to miss but had enough detail that Ryou could recognize them from Bakura's painting of hell. The cloaked man with the scarred face stood in the distance, walking away and fading into the light as if willingly walking to his own death, and the dark shrouded figure that stood in the shadows of the last picture seemed to also be disappearing fading into the darkness left by the setting sun. The dancing couple didn't notice or care; they danced on, oblivious. He was smiling shyly with a blush on his cheek, while his yami had painted himself as looking flirtatious. Though it was hard to read in the mirror, in the upper corner was written a new poem. The title marked on it read "I'm still here".
"I love it." Ryou smiled and threw him arms around Bakura's neck, hugging him tightly. Bakura laughed and ran his fingers through Ryou's hair. "Just one thing."
"Yes, koi?" Bakura smiled down at him.
"Who is the man in the cloak? I saw him in your painting over there, too." Ryou motioned to the painted wall, and Bakura smirked.
"Don't you recognize him? Or has he changed that much?"
Ryou examined the figure carefully. Scarred face, roughly cut white hair, sharp angry brown eyes... "It's you..." he breathed.
"Who else would it be?" Bakura replied, trying not to sound too sarcastic.
"But your face!" Ryou gasped, "And your hair!" He looked up at his yami.
"The way I looked in Egypt..." Bakura started thoughtfully. "Exactly the same as I appear now, only with shorter hair and that nasty scar." He subconsciously raised a hand to his right cheek. "I'm glad you didn't have it. It would be a really bitch to have that back."
"How'd you get it?" Ryou asked, partially thankful his yami didn't have it anymore. Then he smiled, realizing it didn't really matter. Chances were he would still be stuck loving him. Ryou snuggled a bit closer to him, enjoying the warmth he felt from his dark against him. There were more blessings than curses attached to being in love.
"That's a story for another day," Bakura replied, smoothing Ryou's hair. "We're both in a good mood and it would be a shame to ruin that. It's so peaceful tonight, with just the two of us. My world is such a dark place without you in it... So let's enjoy it before the real world comes to take you away from me."
"Never," Ryou whispered, pulling away and looking up at Bakura. "Why would I go away again, when it's been a perfect hell trying to come back?"
Bakura took Ryou's face in hands and pressed his lips to his light's forehead. "In case you've forgotten, hikari, you're a star now. When your album comes out... " he trailed off.
"It means nothing," Ryou told him gently, taking hold of his yami's wrist. "Can we not think about it? The album hasn't even been fully written yet. We don't know how anything will turn out, but I do know that I want you there with me. I can't do this without you." Bakura looked at his hikari intently, watching the fear cross his face and feeling the tension in his own mind dissolve. He ran his thumb across the boy's cheek and Ryou sighed, closing his eyes and relaxing at the touch. Bakura felt his heart skip beats just looking at the younger boy who seemed so resigned.
"Ryou..." he cooed gently, running his fingers across his hikari's jaw line to tilt his head up, then leaned down and captured his lips in a tender kiss. Bliss ensnared him as Ryou's arms wrapped around his shoulders, falling into the embrace and returning the kiss with the same gentle affection. He let his fingers tangle in Ryou's hair, simply enjoying the way he tasted and the way the arms around his neck and the lips on his seemed to burn. He moved his arms down to snake around Ryou's waist, falling back into the bed and pulling his light down on top of him. Ryou laughed, their kiss temporally broken. Bakura just looked up at him and chuckled, smoothing stray locks of hair back behind Ryou's ear. Ryou rested his forehead against his dark's. "Yami?"
"Yes?"
"Never let me go..."
"Never." Bakura laughed lightly and kissed his hikari's lips gently. "Gutterflower..." he whispered, "My very own. I love you, Ryou... Always know it. Everything I've ever done has somehow come back to you."
Ryou smiled, planting a kiss on his yami's lips. "Love you too..." Bakura wrapped his arms around Ryou, running a line of kisses from Ryou's lips to his neck, pulling his light close to him. Ryou sighed and relaxed, falling into the warmth between them. Bakura dragged his fingers down Ryou back as their lips met again, the edge of the painting under his fingers chipped with the pressure of his touch. The very edge crumbled away, erasing the figure who loomed so ominously in the background as if he had never been there at all and what was fading, vanished completely...
@~8~ @~8~ @~8~
Dated:
August 16... I think. I was never good at these modern dates... the moon is in its first quarter on the east horizon. I think that makes it August 16.
Stardust Goddess has released their debut CD. It's already gone platinum, which is amazing - so many people love the song Here is Gone. Big Machine and What a Scene have been hits as well. Ha! My song! I rule! Ryou wasn't joking when he said we made a good song writing team. He asked me what I thought they should call it and I told him they should call it "Gutterflower" since it's an echo of everything that's gone on between us. Much to my surprise, he did. So Stardust Goddess' album Gutterflower is now on the shelves of every music store from here to New York. This will be the last writing on my Bristol board wall... Ryou bought me a full art set with which to indulge in my obsession and I've found someone who needs these inks more then I do. If they helped me, surely to Ra they can help him. But I couldn't let them go without writing this one last message:
Ryou, you are my angel, my everything, my very soul. I know that I've been so cruel to you and I can never make up for all those years, but I can try. Somehow, you forgive the fact that I'm short-tempered and have a stubborn streak a mile long. I can never thank you enough for the fact that no matter what I've done or where I've been you let me crawl back to you. Ra knows I'd be a lost cause without you to give me a reason to keep going and still be me. So when you read this, (and I know you will, because you always love reading the things I've written on here - yes, I caught you looking!) I hope you remember that although I never say it, I do love you. Anyway, you're turning me into such a sap, so I think I should stop this now. I'll leave you with this message, My light, my other half, my love, my gutterflower. I found it enlightening myself:
There are some qualities- some incorporate things,
That have a double life, which thus is made
A type of that twin entity which springs
From matter and light, evinced in solid and shade.
There is a two-fold Silence- sea and shore-
Body and soul. The light one dwells in lonely places,
Newly with grass o'ergrown; some solemn graces,
Some human memories and tearful lore,
Render him terrorless: his name's "No More."
He is the corporate Silence: dread him not!
No power hath he of the evil in himself;
But should some urgent fate (untimely lot!)
Bring thee to meet his shadow (nameless elf,
That haunteth the lone regions where hath trod
No foot of man,) commend thyself to God!
- Edgar Allan Poe (appropriate for us, no?)
~singed yours truly;
the egocentric tomb-robber.
a.k.a. Yami Bakura
First of all, I'm dedicating this to everyone who has enjoyed Gutterflower and has been reviewing and reading loyally, you guys are the greatest!!!! T_T, I can't believe it's finally over... wow... but fear not! There are two sequels in the making, a Yami and Yugi and one with Malik. (Cause just look at the loose ends I have to tie up.)
Second of all, I want to also dedicate this chapter to Kawaii lil Angel Of Darkness, because it was her song that originally inspired my to write a part in this chapy. She wrote it based off of Gutterflower and her own life some time ago and I absolutely love it so I had to write it in. I hope you all love the song as much as I do. And yes lil Angel, I got Michelle Branch to sing it. ;) Everyone check out her poetry and songs! She's fantastic!
Third, I have some pic's I have to upload that I drew for Gutterflower, keep watching my profile and I'll post up an address that you can check them out at once I get them scanned. And check out http://www.geocities.com/cell_fighter/gutterflower.html It's a pic by Sailor Comet of the picture on Ryou's nightstand I mentioned back in "It's Over". Check it out! I love Sailor Comet!!!!
Third; I'm going to answer a few reviews before I get going with the story, that way, I don't have to end on one of my rambling rampages, because you all know by now how much I ramble.
Psycho_Mime: He ya go ;)
Black Balloon: I'm using I'm still here in this chappy! I love it too! I only wrote that cuz when my band found the tabs for the song, that's what the lyric read. But since you mentioned it I went back and listened to the song… and your right, it does sound like innocence! I'll go back and change it.
Umbreon: Don't feel bad… Malik is singing "naked" over and over again in my head till I give him his own fic… MONTY PYTHON RULES ALL!! I love monty python!! *Starts singing* Alllllways look on the brrright side…
A Laugh That Is Evil: She is? Wow… That's just cool. I find much of their work very inspirational, particularly some of their work in the CD dizzy up the girl, a lot of that is very literal. Songs like "flattop" make you think too.
Bakura's Baby: I know I've done my job as an author If those images are there! I kept having those flashes when I listened to the Cd the first few times and they got worst every time I listened until I finally wrote this. And Bakura's comment to Malik? Yeah, it just seemed to sound like him :)
Sailor Comet: I love to write comedy now and then, you always need to throw in a smartass remark or two… or three… or… O_o U…
RyogazGal: I hope this doesn't get lost in cyberspace… I love it so much!
Saki: Yami and Yugi it is! And a Malik!
Caitlin aka Kimbralwyn: Thank you very much! I love to breath life into every character, mine or someone else's (such as the yugioh characters)
Ame Tenshi: I know how that feels, I hate it when people ruin a perfectly good day. Anyway, yeah, I only put Mild fluff in here, so Your safe ;)
Bakura: What is it?
LYB: *sobs* I can't believe this is the last chapter!
Ryou: It is???
Bakura and Ryou: *start doing a happy dance*
Bakura: ^___^ No more sappy story musing for us!
Cyris: *bops them with a foam bat*
Bakura and Ryou: @_@...
LYB: ^_^ now I feel better! It's been great everyone! I love you all!!! *gives all her reviewers hugz*
Bakura: I love all my loyal subjects... err... I mean fans... yes fans... I enjoy all my time in the spot light.
Ryou: THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!
Yami: And thanks for giving Yugi and I our own story ^__^
Yugi: O_o... We have our own story now?
Yami: Yup. When LYB is done writing Drawing Down the Moon.
Yugi: YAY!!!
Cyris: o_O U...
Everyone: BYE FOR NOW!!!!!!
!@#$%^&*
Notes about this chapter everyone should know:
1. There's no lemon in this chapter, but there is a bit of cute fluff. Enjoy!!
2. The song Malik is singing is "Naked" by the Goo Goo Dolls, the same one they preformed in the last chapter after Truth is a Whisper. Check out the lyrics and see where I'm going with this.
3. Seriously, Bakura does look like that in the past. Don't believe me? When your done reading this check out members.shaw.ca/jenniyah/frame.html (no www. ) click on the link that reads "Yugioh comics" she has the most resent issues of the Yugioh manga scanned and translated, you can see first hand what Bakura, Isis, Malik (the good one, not the yami) and Kaiba all looked like back in Egypt. (And what's with Malik owning the ring??? Is anyone else confused??? And Malik created the Dark Magician and Dark Magician Girl??? I have to give Takahashi credit! Yugioh just keeps getting better!!) 'Kura looks freaky, really strong... wonder how he got that scar?
4. The minute I heard the sonnet "Silence" by Edgar Allan Poe and started clapping my hands and saying "Yami's and Hikari's!"... Sad I know...
!@#$%^&*
*Lyrics*
#Song on the radio#
/Ryou to Bakura/
//Bakura to Ryou//
**********************************************************
I'm Still Here
**********************************************************
Ryou stood outside the game shop, staring down the moonlit road, clutching his guitar case tightly in his hand. Home seemed so close and so far. How had he run all the way here so many nights ago? It seemed impossible now. "What are you waiting for Ryou-cun?" a warm voiced asked. Ryou took a deep breath and let it out.
"A miracle." he answered with a good natured smile.
"Don't ask for miracles." Yugi replied, stepping up beside him, "Miracles go wrong. Why not ask for hope instead? Hope makes more amazing things happen then any miracle."
Ryou laughed, "I suppose your right. My miracles never did quite turn out like I expected."
"Neither did mine." Yugi said with a smile, poking the taller boy playfully "But at least with hope you can't go wrong, everything turns out then. We're still best friends and you still have a yami who loves you."
"So do you."
Yugi blushed a bit "Yeah, I know. Good luck, Ryou. I hope everything works out for you."
"You too, Yugi. I'll call you tomorrow about our next practice at the studio."
Yugi nodded and glanced back at the door that was opened, shining light from the game shop out onto their light part of the road. Yami looked out on them from the door and nodded to the white haired boy. Ryou smiled and gave a small, parting wave. Neither of them needed to say anymore, the thankful expressions on their faces said all that needed to be. Ryou offered a final goodbye to Yugi before stepping forward out of the circle of light, moving onward into the dark to find another door that would open to him. He kept pace to the corner before turning out of sight.
Yugi gazed after him until he vanished around the bend, then turned to the door and walked slowly towards his darker. "Are you okay?" Yami said softly, after a moment of silence, reaching out to touch his hikari's cheek. Yugi looked up at him, the sweet smile Yami had come to love played across his lips.
"Yami?"
"Yes?"
Yugi's smile dropped into a distant, sad one. "Do you know who I am?"
Yami blinked, "Of course. Your Yugi. My light."
Yugi seemed to think about this a moment. "Oh." He looked up at his yami again. "Hey Yami?"
"Yes abiou?"
"Do you want to get a movie or something?" Yugi smiled hopefully, "Just the two of us?" Yami smiled.
"Anything you want Yugi."
@~8~ @~8~ @~8~
Ryou glanced around, he was approaching the park and noted to himself he was about half way to home. The park was wonderfully calm this time of night and the feeling of peace rubbed off on Ryou.
"I thought you'd be home by now." A rich voice said, cutting into his thoughts. Ryou glanced around and his eyes fell on a figure stretched out under a tree, taking a drag on a cigarette.
"Malik." Ryou said warmly, the blond Egyptian snuffed out his cigarette and sat up.
"So why aren't you home?" He smirked, "Bakura must be freaking out with nervousness."
"I had to get my guitar." Ryou explained, "I can't go anywhere without it. I'm walking home now, actually."
Malik laughed a bit then rose, brushing out his jeans. "I'll walk with you, if you want. I'm suffering from insomnia tonight."
"Feel free." Ryou answered gesturing for Malik to join him. "It'd be good to talk with you anyway."
"Oh?" Malik said, coming to Ryou's side and they started to walk down the road.
"Yeah… I just wanted to thank you… for everything you've done. I know you're the one who's been on Bakura's case."
"That'd be me." Malik nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. "He can be a stubborn prick sometimes, someone needs to get on him."
"Thank you." Ryou said again with a smile.
"Anytime." Malik replied, tilting his head back slightly to look at the stars, his wispy blond hair brushing over his shoulders. They blinked back at him sadly. "A word of advice for you, Ryou." He said slowly, Ryou looked at him. "He's not going to give you any answers as to why he's the way he is or what make him act the way he does. He just does. The guy is a paradox of himself, aggressive and shy, strong and weak. You don't get anywhere by pushing him forward, because he'll push right back against you. Don't expect him to warm up to you instantly, he's hard to hold. He hates being held. It takes awhile; but once you get in there..." He trailed off, then ran a hand through his hair, brushing it away from his face "Just don't expect to much from him. In his mind he has nothing to offer, you'll be disappointed if you go into this expecting something."
Ryou nodded slowly, kicking a rock from his path. "I see that now. I think it's something I've always known but never wanted to accept. He's a mystery to everyone, even himself."
"So are you." Malik replied with a smirk.
"And you." Ryou retorted. Malik made a sound, something like that of laughter and something like a sigh.
*I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms*
And what do you think you'd ever say
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want~
Me to be*
Ryou looked up at the sky, admiring the stars as Malik was. "You understand him pretty well, don't you?" Ryou said out of the blue. Malik nodded.
"Better then I know myself." Malik shook his head and glanced around the empty street. "It's kinda funny when you think about it." Ryou raised a brow at this, Malik shook his head and gave a motion of his hand to dismiss the remark. "I know him as well as I can, no one can ever really ~know~ someone completely, inside and out, that's impossible, to do that you'd literally have to become that person. So, I suppose you can say, I know him as well as he'll let me know him."
Ryou looked thoughtful, "It's just...in all honest - he has a way of knowing things I'll never understand. He changes his ways so often, you'd swear he was two or three different people all rolled into one."
*And what
Do you think you'd understand?
I'm boy, no, I'm a man.
You can't take me~
And throw me away*
Malik chuckled, "Nice analogy, but that's not really true. He never pretends to be something he's not and that's what you have a hard time understanding, he only shows part of himself. No one knows him really, I suppose; that's why your so special to him. He can see something good and light in you, something he had forgotten along time ago. He's drawn to you because there's a part in him that wants to know there's still some good left in the world. If you're patience, you'll see inside of him in time."
"I suppose." Ryou answered, taking this in. He was quiet a moment. "Hey Malik?"
"Yes?"
"Have you ever been in love?"
Malik laughed, violet eyed flashed a sense of irony. "Of course. Why do you ask?"
Ryou blushed slightly at his own curiosity. "You just don't seem like the type that could fall in love. Your... kind of your own person, in your own world."
"Bakura fell in love with you." Malik pointed out. Ryou blushed deeper.
"I suppose so."
Malik looked thoughtful. "Yes, I've been in love. It's a wonderful and awful feeling."
Ryou looked at him surprised. "Why do you say awful? What did she do?"
Malik just gave a disregarding shrug. "HE didn't love me the way I loved him. There was just nothing in him. Then I started to fall again, but this one... he was a dark angel... though I never did tell him what I felt. He loved someone else, as simple as that. And first and foremost, he was my friend, so I put aside what I felt and I always encouraged him. Their very happy together now, they make a good couple."
"At least their happy." Ryou said sympathetically. Malik nodded, a contented look on his face.
Ryou smiled at the Egyptian "Maybe I'll never understand my yami... but it's worth a try, right?"
Malik nodded, smirking slightly, "Right."
*And how
Can you learn what's never shown
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here*
Ryou glanced up and took a deep breath. "Home..." he whispered gently, as they approached the house and stopped. "Here's where I get off." Ryou said, looking up, a faint light flickered in the bedroom window.
"Good luck," Malik said, as the silver haired boy walked up the steps.
"Thanks," Ryou replied, nodding slightly, "For everything."
Malik just smiled and shrugged. "It's what I live for." he winked, making Ryou laugh and with a final wave, Ryou disappeared inside the house. Malik's smile fell into a distant look and he glanced up at the window as the silhouette of a boy just a head taller then Ryou cast a reflection on the glass.
"Inside you head..." Malik sang softly,
"No one's there.
And I don't think I'll ever be..." he smiled bitterly.
"And I don't care."
Malik pushed his hands deeper down into his pockets, "So this is good-bye, Bakura, dark angel. As long as your happy..." He continued down the road, humming to himself, a soothing song that reminded him of why he got Ryou to write it.
@~8~ @~8~ @~8~
Ryou stood just inside the doorway of the house, closing the door behind him. It was dark and quiet, save for a few sounds and a warm glow from upstairs, very much like the last time he had been here. Only now it was different. This time may not end the same way, this time he was here to stay - at least, that's what he hoped. He tightened his grip on his guitar case and took a deep breath, his heart pounding as he started up the stairs. Nervous tension made it hard to move, yet there was a part of him that wanted to run to the room that the dim light was shining out of through a crack in the door.
Ryou slowly pushed the door open, expecting to see his yami there as before, painting on the makeshift canvas, but the room was empty. Candles burned as they had before, making the large paintings on the wall appear all the more Egyptian. Ryou glanced about, curious as to where his handsomely dark spirit could be as he lay down his guitar beside the bed. He turned his head a bit, glancing at the strange angel looking out over the room from the wall, and paused. He approached it deftly, a hand extended to touch the grey robe hanging from the figure's graceful form. He let his fingers follow the ruffled folds of paint up over the two different wings, one feathered and white, the other smooth and black, then travel to the face of the fallen angel. Like the wings and robe, the face had a division. One half was placid and gentle with a soft smile, while the other half glared from under much wilder hair. Deep brown eyes peered out at him from under smooth and spiked white bangs - one eye modest, the other marred by suspicion. Hikari and yami in one fleeting moment of unity. "Change of heart," he whispered gently, running his fingers down the dark side of the angel's face. "The both of us, together as one."
He let his eyes wander across the rest of the picture. Words scrawled themselves as white stars over a desert sky and danced among flames that licked up from somewhere underneath the paper. A great goddess knelt in the upper corner, her wings spread wide as she looked down over the desert skies and sands below and her mouth open as if she were speaking. Ryou paused a moment, seeing no one else in the picture; but then he saw it, so beautifully and intricately painted that it took a moment to notice, but once he did it was hard to see it any other way. The sky itself was a woman, lying on her stomach and held aloft by a man formed only of faint vapours and clouds. Below them, the earth was a man lying on his side, looking upward to the heavenly sky woman and winged goddess. On the other side danced flames of orange and gold, figures moving themselves in a silent story Ryou could not understand. A dark man held a woman to the ground with his foot while beckoning to another figure cloaked in earthy brown. The figure in brown was turned away, revealing the right side of his face to be horribly marred by a double-crossed scar that ran from his temple over his eye and down his cheek. His arms stretched to the sky, but his eyes turned back to the woman on the ground, who held his leg firmly with one hand while her face and other hand pleaded with him to flee. It was such a paradox, but the cloaked figure couldn't free himself from her even as she wished him to go. He pleaded for his freedom, reaching up to the sky where the angel floated and gazed down with sorrowful violet eyes. Blonde hair licked around the angels face as he held a small blonde boy in his arms. The boy's eyes were closed and there was a sort of angry pain about him, but the angel couldn't help the cloaked figure. Over his shoulder loomed a dark violet expanse; an undefined winged figure lurking within that darkness, reaching out and clawing the feathers from the tips of the angel's wings. It seethed there, threatening to swallow the angel and figure in brown whole. Flames surrounded the unsettling image, twisting upward in a remarkably soothing way and giving a stillness to the motion in the picture as if to freeze the moment in time. Within the fire were other words, verses half hidden amid the paints.
Music drifted out comfortingly from the radio and Ryou smiled, closing his eyes and listening to the soothing rhythm of notes heralding a song's beginning. He hummed with it for a moment before letting his body sway gently and gave in to the urge to dance to the music. He turned around gracefully, moving deftly to the music only to bump into something warm and firm. "You like this song?" a dark voice laughed.
*And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here*
Ryou felt himself blush with embarrassment when he looked up to see Bakura smiling down at him in amusement. He stepped away, offering his yami an apologetic smile. "I've listened to this song a lot lately..." Ryou admitted, looking away as he felt his flush grow. "Kinda my new favourite. It's Michelle Branch..."
Bakura gave a low laugh and turned around gracefully, stepping away with fluid movement associated with a dancer, or in his case, an expert thief. "Come dance with me," The dark spirit whispered breathlessly, extending a hand out to the boy who held his very soul. Ryou looked hesitantly at the arm held out for him before letting his eyes find their way up to his yami's face and was mildly surprised to find no malice or trickery there - just a tenderness that only appeared in very rare moments. Bakura offered a small smile and stretched his hand out a bit further, silently offering his request again. Ryou reached out, laying his hand in the one offered to him, and Bakura wrapped his fingers around the delicate hand placed in his trust. He raised his arm, pulling Ryou gently to him and wrapping an arm about his waist. Ryou giggled and put his hand on Bakura's shoulder. The ancient spirit laughed smoothly, tightening his hold around the youth's body so they were pressed together, and began leading him in a leisurely dance.
#Sitting at my window
Listening to those old love songs
Thoughts of you plaguing my mind
Can hardly think straight when you're gone
How did I end up like this
Lovesick over a single being
But all I know...
Is that I need you around
To fill this song with blissful sound
This torture of confusion consumes me
Can't find the right path to take
The passion I feel for you surrounds me
I can't see the right decision to make
All I can see...
Is my love for you
And my pleas for all my wishes to come true#
Bakura let his mind drift along with the words of the song. They seemed to suit his mood so perfectly. He looked down at the boy in his arms. Ryou's lips were turned up in a shy and peaceful smile; his eyes were distant and gazing away into space, running over the song's lyrics in his head as well. Bakura felt his heart sigh in his chest as he gazed at him; he couldn't compare it to anything he'd felt before. It was like he was about to die, and in that last peaceful moment before falling asleep he had made his peace with the world. The whole world was turning over. Peace... He had forgotten what it felt like. But this was more then peace - this was contentment, just a frail yet beautifully moving image of a moth drawn irresistibly to the flame. Only this time when he touched it, the flame didn't burn him, it took shelter in his arms and held him back. He pulled Ryou a bit closer, terrified to think how close he had come to putting the flame he loved so much out forever. Bakura chewed on his lip thoughtfully and looped a bit of Ryou's hair around his finger.
#I wish to see your smile
Hear your sweet voice
Feel your arms around me
Holding me tight
Your soft whispers
Telling me that what I feel is right
This torture of confusion consumes me
Can't find the right path to take
The passion I feel for you surrounds me
I can't see the right decision to make
All I can see...
Is my love for you
And my pleas for all my wishes to come true#
Ryou raised his head, looking up into the sharp dark eyes of his other half as they made another circle in their dance. Ryou smiled shyly and glanced downwards, away from the affectionate gaze placed on him. He wasn't used to this kind of attention. "You ever wonder about the way things work out?" he asked in such a soft voice Bakura could barely discern it.
"What do you mean?" Bakura asked with slight smile, taking Ryou's hand and holding it above their heads. Ryou gave a small amused laugh and spun a circle underneath the outstretched arm before allowing himself to be pulled back into the embrace, still holding Bakura's hand.
"Just two hours ago, we could barely look at each other straight, but then... Well... Look at us."
Bakura smirked slightly, continuing to lead their dance across the bedroom floor. "Yeah... It's funny..." He said vaguely, losing himself once more in his hikari's warm chocolate eyes. He could almost see the swirls of colour in them, the dim colours created in his mind by the emotions and secrets they kept. He let himself search for each of them, but for the first time never looked for it in his little angel's mind. He put faces to colour, stories to name, reaching across the elegant light that bound them together by the wrists of their souls, heart to heart. It was something he'd never really tried to do before. //I can see it,// he whispered breathlessly.
/See what?/ came the soothed replied.
//The notes, the way they flow... how they come into your heart. It's your music... I can see it in your eyes. It speaks from your soul. You have a beautiful heart...//
#Time is running short
I'm killing myself with doubt
These rocky paths are making me stumble
Can't find my way out
Can't find my way to your heart
This torture of confusion consumes me
Can't find the right path to take
The passion I feel for you surrounds me
I can't see the right decision to make
All I can see...
Is my love for you
And my pleas for all my wishes to come true#
There was a moment of beautiful silent between them, Bakura simply stared, taking in every detail of Ryou's face to memory. Etching it there so he could reach back and remember exactly what he looked like at that exact moment in time. He shifted his hand slightly, pressing it palm to palm and finger to finger with Ryou's and turned his head slightly, marvelling at how Ryou's hand seemed smaller against his, and how his own skin seemed just a bit darker.
*And you see the things they never see
All you wanted - I could be
Now you know me
And I'm not afraid*
He curled his fingers around his hikari's and brought the boy's fingers to his lips kissing them gently, catching Ryou's eyes again. Ryou smiled and gave a small sigh. "Yami? I think..."
"Shhh...." Bakura in a low husky voice, pressing his finger to Ryou's lips then leaned down and kissed the finger "...just dance..."
#All I can see... Mmmm Yeah.
Is a picture of you with me
And a song with no words
Singing my love beautifully...#
The song trailed off into an ending and for a moment they just stood silently, staring at each other. Bakura shoved his hands into his pockets, taking up his regular casual stance and carefully examining a nonexistent stain in the carpet. Ryou smiled in his gentle way and glanced behind his yami to look once more at the images covering the wall. "When did you do these? I was looking at them... It wasn't done when I was here yesterday," Ryou said, walking toward the paintings in an effort to distract them from the strange silence.
"I started them the other day," Bakura replied, looking the paintings over, "just after I ran into you on the street. I haven't painted or written since I was around fifteen, but Malik thought I should take it up again. Something about it clearing my head. I think he was right."
"They're amazing," Ryou acknowledged, letting his eyes follow the intense colours.
"You like my work?" a breathless voice whispered in his ear. Ryou felt a warm thrill travel down his spine as strong arms wrapped around his waist. He nodded, feeling all words leave him and swallowing.
"I like this one," he said softly, letting his fingers run across the wings of the heartbroken angel and the child in his arms. "What is it?"
"Hell." Bakura answered, nuzzling against Ryou's hair, delighting in its softness and the way it seemed so cool against his skin.
"Who are these people?"
"Those who are trapped there... and those who keep them there." Bakura told him, looking at the picture thoughtfully. Ryou nodded and leaned back into the arms around him, his eyes scanning the picture and trying to put names to the faces - the angel and the child, but he could think of no one with short ragged white hair and a scarred face. Bakura merely hmmed thoughtfully at the image.
*And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am*
Ryou reached out once more, touching the scarred figure thoughtfully. "Watch your arm." Bakura smirked, breaking Ryou's thoughts and Ryou cast his yami a glance.
"Why?"
"The ink is wet," Bakura replied, stepping away and gesturing to Ryou's sleeve, which had been smudged with brown and a tinge of avocado green from the figure's cloak. Ryou gave a slight thoughtful noise, looking at the splash vivid colours against the white of his shirt.
"Beginnings..." he muttered distantly.
"Excuse me?" Bakura said, raising a brow in curiosity.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Ryou apologized, quickly turning from staring at the colours. "It's just... that shade of green is supposed to symbolize beginnings."
"Oh..." Bakura commented and ran a hand through his hair, for once in his life finding himself at a loss for words. What do you say to someone after putting them through a month... scratch that, more like six years of hell and you're trying to rebuild something that had never really existed? The irony wasn't lost on Bakura. "Here," He said finally, holding out his hand. "I'll wash it, or that ink will never come out." Ryou blinked in surprise for a moment before Bakura rolled his eyes. "Trust me. I've become an expert at getting that shit out of clothes. Now, are you going to give me your shirt or stand there like a moron until the sun comes up?" Ryou shook his head, reluctantly removing his shirt and tossing it to Bakura. "There, that wasn't so hard." Bakura walked into the bathroom just outside the room, filled the sink with hot water and started to rub the ink steadily out of the delicate fabric.
"Hey, yami?" Ryou called out.
"Yes?" Bakura answered, lazily wrapping the fabric around his fingers and scrubbing the stained material against itself.
"Thank you."
Bakura paused, wondering why those two word moved him so much and if it would have the same effect if it were someone else. "Your welcome." he answered finally and let himself smile at nothing.
*And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They can't see me
But I'm still here*
Bakura dropped the shirt into the water and rinsed it clean. He hung it over the rail of the shower to dry before returning to the bedroom to find Ryou still examining the painting. He stood in the doorway for a minute or two, admiring how beautiful his light looked, standing shirtless in the dim light of the room caught up in reading the verses on the wall.
"What a scene... What do you need... Think about me... You wrote all of these?" Ryou asked, looking over the verses, completely sincere.
"Never thought I was a poet, huh?" Bakura smirked.
Ryou laughed a bit. "They're not poems, yami."
Bakura gave him a look. "Then what are they? Postcard messages? That's how I've written ever since I was little."
Ryou laughed and turn his head to glance at his dark as he came up beside him. "They're songs. See? You repeat things, in a set rhythm. That makes them verses." Bakura raised a brow at his hikari. Ryou just smiled sweetly and went on, "Here, I'll show you." He grabbed his guitar case and laid it on the floor, opening it up and removing his guitar. He sat down, resting the instrument in his lap. "Pick one of your verses." Bakura looked at him thoughtfully, then turned back to his mural, skimming the words thoughtfully until he found one that he liked.
"This one." Bakura said, laying a finger on the lines.
"What's it called?"
Bakura shrugged. "Smash, I suppose... seems to fit." He felt the warmth of the link pass between them and he opened up his thought for his hikari, showing him exactly the rhythm that the poem followed and letting his memorize the words.
"I can work with that…" Ryou said thoughtfully, more to himself then Bakura and started plucking the strings on his guitar, fooling around with a few cords for a few minutes.
Bakura sat down at Ryou's feet and rested his head on Ryou's lap, listening to him work. Ryou laughed slightly, looking down at his yami who was tracing lazy circles with his finger over Ryou's bare feet. Bakura raised his head slightly, stray white hairs falling across his face as he looked up at Ryou. He folded his arms across Ryou's knees, staring up at the boy intently, lost in gazing at his angel. He slowly raised his hand to brush it against Ryou's cheek, admiring the softness of his skin. "Soft..." he whispered thoughtfully, "like flower petals..." Ryou closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, smiling. Bakura ran his fingers down Ryou's cheek to his lips. "Yes, that's it... gutterflower."
"Gutterflower?" Ryou questioned, opening his eyes and looking at his yami with a loving gaze. Bakura smiled affectionately, cradling Ryou's cheek in his hand.
"My gutterflower… something in such a desolate place, but still you survive and still so delicate. That's what you are… a flower that blooms in the most unexpected places…"
Ryou smiled tenderly, touched by the words and leaned over his guitar, kissing the top of his yami's head. "Thank you." Bakura simply gave a contented smile and lowered his hand then rested his head on Ryou's lap again, looking blissfully peaceful.
"I have it." Ryou said proudly, after another few minutes of playing with random notes.
"Let's here it." Bakura responded, sitting up on the bed beside Ryou.
"Hey...what are you thinkin'?
I tried to read your face.
Say...say what you're thinkin'
Don't carry round that pain...
Every time I see you pickin' at yourself~
I love...I love when things work out.
Ya, every time I see you torturin' yourself~
I love...I love when things work out.
And I see it from another place right now,
I'm comin' home before I hit the ground
Right back where I want to be right now
Smash
And I feel it.
Smash
And I feel it,
Right now…"
Bakura smiled vaguely, as the lyric finished and rested his head against Ryou's bare shoulder, content to just rest there and listen to the music as his light ended the song. "I like that." Ryou said at last with a nod of his head, "we make a good team, your lyrics and my music."
Bakura chuckled "Your welcome to any of the writings on my wall, if you want them." he raised his head and glanced at the ink pen on the bedside stand then at Ryou's back before grabbing it and artistically scrawling his name in twisting letters on Ryou's shoulder. Ryou glanced back over his shoulder, curious as to what his yami was doing to him.
"What are you doing?"
Bakura shrugged and stated, "I'm impulsive." He looked at his name; it just looked like it belonged there, but something was missing. He picked up his box of inks and cracked it open, mixing the colours he wanted then taking the brush and tracing some basic lines on Ryou's back.
Ryou laughed when he realized what his yami was doing. "What are you painting?" he asked, trying to look over his own shoulder.
"I don't know," Bakura answered as he raised his brush again, dragging the colour across the pale skin, causing Ryou to twitch a bit.
"It's cold..."
"It'll warm up in a minute," Bakura assured him and continued to work, enjoying the way the designs of his own mind looked so at home on Ryou's back. He mixed a dark green and started to give shape to the idea in his head. The rich colour looked good against Ryou's smooth skin and he found his mind wandering back to what Ryou said about the colour. New beginnings... The ironic thought struck him again, to rebuild something that never really had existed. 'No, not rebuilding something...' Bakura corrected himself as he looked at the colour that shone so well on the pale skin. 'Building something new, starting over from scratch... A new beginning on a clean canvas.'
*They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe...*
"How long will this take?" Ryou asked, glancing backward.
"You don't mind, do you?" Bakura responded with a question, starting to mix a sunset orange in his tray.
"Oh, no." Ryou said, shaking his head with a smile. "If feels nice... Really soothing. I don't mind at all. But I can make it a bit easier for you."
"How so?"
Ryou waited until he felt Bakura raise his brush from his shoulder before leaning forward to lay his guitar on the floor. Then, carefully so as not to smudge any of his yami's work, he stretched out facedown on the bed. He folded his arms under his chin and glanced up at the ancient boy beside him, pulling his long hair out of the way for the artist. "Better?"
"Much." Bakura whispered gently and leaned over, tracing a line of kisses down the back of his hikari's neck and across his shoulder. Ryou smiled and purred at the touch. "I like this," Bakura said huskily, nuzzling Ryou's hair. Ryou giggled softly and Bakura planted a quick kiss on his cheek before sitting up and starting to work again. "Arms at your side," Bakura commanded, tapping Ryou's elbow with the back of his brush, "or the picture on your shoulder blade will be lopsided." Ryou obeyed and Bakura offered him a pillow to lay his head on instead.
*And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can you say I'll never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
'Cause I'm still here
I'm the one
'Cause I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here*
Time moved by in a lazy fashion. Ryou drifted in and out of a semi-conscious state of bliss. His mind wandered down paths of elapsed dreams and wishes now slowly being rekindled by a flame he had forgotten he harboured inside of himself, lulled by the steady movement of the brush against his skin. He smiled as he thought about how gentle his yami was being - sitting patiently, adding more depth to the painting both real and reflected with each loving stroke. Careful and patient, the art brought out the best in the both of them, Ryou supposed.
//Ryou?//
/Mmm...?/
//I'm finished.//
Ryou blinked his eyes open, figuring he must have fallen asleep. He fought the urge to stretch so as to keep from accidentally ruining all of his dark's work. "Can I look now?" he asked with a smile.
"Go ahead, just be careful getting up. Some spots aren't dry," Bakura answered with a soft smile as he started to put the inks away. Ryou sat up slowly and craned his neck so that he could see his back in the dresser mirror. For a moment he was totally speechless. "Like it?" Bakura asked, looking at the mirror so he could see what Ryou saw.
"It's beautiful," Ryou breathed, gazing at the intense colours that created the image. Its detail was amazing and Ryou had no trouble discerning what he was seeing. He felt a smile cross his lips, touched by his yami's gesture. The picture was of the two of them as they had been a few hours before, dancing in each other's arms. The fabric of their clothes was ruffled and their hair slightly twisted, as if they were caught in mid-movement, and behind them stretched a desert landscape shaded by the blacks, purples and reds of a sky at the very depths of twilight. In the dying sunlight at the very edge of the painting stood two lone figures; they were small and easy to miss but had enough detail that Ryou could recognize them from Bakura's painting of hell. The cloaked man with the scarred face stood in the distance, walking away and fading into the light as if willingly walking to his own death, and the dark shrouded figure that stood in the shadows of the last picture seemed to also be disappearing fading into the darkness left by the setting sun. The dancing couple didn't notice or care; they danced on, oblivious. He was smiling shyly with a blush on his cheek, while his yami had painted himself as looking flirtatious. Though it was hard to read in the mirror, in the upper corner was written a new poem. The title marked on it read "I'm still here".
"I love it." Ryou smiled and threw him arms around Bakura's neck, hugging him tightly. Bakura laughed and ran his fingers through Ryou's hair. "Just one thing."
"Yes, koi?" Bakura smiled down at him.
"Who is the man in the cloak? I saw him in your painting over there, too." Ryou motioned to the painted wall, and Bakura smirked.
"Don't you recognize him? Or has he changed that much?"
Ryou examined the figure carefully. Scarred face, roughly cut white hair, sharp angry brown eyes... "It's you..." he breathed.
"Who else would it be?" Bakura replied, trying not to sound too sarcastic.
"But your face!" Ryou gasped, "And your hair!" He looked up at his yami.
"The way I looked in Egypt..." Bakura started thoughtfully. "Exactly the same as I appear now, only with shorter hair and that nasty scar." He subconsciously raised a hand to his right cheek. "I'm glad you didn't have it. It would be a really bitch to have that back."
"How'd you get it?" Ryou asked, partially thankful his yami didn't have it anymore. Then he smiled, realizing it didn't really matter. Chances were he would still be stuck loving him. Ryou snuggled a bit closer to him, enjoying the warmth he felt from his dark against him. There were more blessings than curses attached to being in love.
"That's a story for another day," Bakura replied, smoothing Ryou's hair. "We're both in a good mood and it would be a shame to ruin that. It's so peaceful tonight, with just the two of us. My world is such a dark place without you in it... So let's enjoy it before the real world comes to take you away from me."
"Never," Ryou whispered, pulling away and looking up at Bakura. "Why would I go away again, when it's been a perfect hell trying to come back?"
Bakura took Ryou's face in hands and pressed his lips to his light's forehead. "In case you've forgotten, hikari, you're a star now. When your album comes out... " he trailed off.
"It means nothing," Ryou told him gently, taking hold of his yami's wrist. "Can we not think about it? The album hasn't even been fully written yet. We don't know how anything will turn out, but I do know that I want you there with me. I can't do this without you." Bakura looked at his hikari intently, watching the fear cross his face and feeling the tension in his own mind dissolve. He ran his thumb across the boy's cheek and Ryou sighed, closing his eyes and relaxing at the touch. Bakura felt his heart skip beats just looking at the younger boy who seemed so resigned.
"Ryou..." he cooed gently, running his fingers across his hikari's jaw line to tilt his head up, then leaned down and captured his lips in a tender kiss. Bliss ensnared him as Ryou's arms wrapped around his shoulders, falling into the embrace and returning the kiss with the same gentle affection. He let his fingers tangle in Ryou's hair, simply enjoying the way he tasted and the way the arms around his neck and the lips on his seemed to burn. He moved his arms down to snake around Ryou's waist, falling back into the bed and pulling his light down on top of him. Ryou laughed, their kiss temporally broken. Bakura just looked up at him and chuckled, smoothing stray locks of hair back behind Ryou's ear. Ryou rested his forehead against his dark's. "Yami?"
"Yes?"
"Never let me go..."
"Never." Bakura laughed lightly and kissed his hikari's lips gently. "Gutterflower..." he whispered, "My very own. I love you, Ryou... Always know it. Everything I've ever done has somehow come back to you."
Ryou smiled, planting a kiss on his yami's lips. "Love you too..." Bakura wrapped his arms around Ryou, running a line of kisses from Ryou's lips to his neck, pulling his light close to him. Ryou sighed and relaxed, falling into the warmth between them. Bakura dragged his fingers down Ryou back as their lips met again, the edge of the painting under his fingers chipped with the pressure of his touch. The very edge crumbled away, erasing the figure who loomed so ominously in the background as if he had never been there at all and what was fading, vanished completely...
@~8~ @~8~ @~8~
Dated:
August 16... I think. I was never good at these modern dates... the moon is in its first quarter on the east horizon. I think that makes it August 16.
Stardust Goddess has released their debut CD. It's already gone platinum, which is amazing - so many people love the song Here is Gone. Big Machine and What a Scene have been hits as well. Ha! My song! I rule! Ryou wasn't joking when he said we made a good song writing team. He asked me what I thought they should call it and I told him they should call it "Gutterflower" since it's an echo of everything that's gone on between us. Much to my surprise, he did. So Stardust Goddess' album Gutterflower is now on the shelves of every music store from here to New York. This will be the last writing on my Bristol board wall... Ryou bought me a full art set with which to indulge in my obsession and I've found someone who needs these inks more then I do. If they helped me, surely to Ra they can help him. But I couldn't let them go without writing this one last message:
Ryou, you are my angel, my everything, my very soul. I know that I've been so cruel to you and I can never make up for all those years, but I can try. Somehow, you forgive the fact that I'm short-tempered and have a stubborn streak a mile long. I can never thank you enough for the fact that no matter what I've done or where I've been you let me crawl back to you. Ra knows I'd be a lost cause without you to give me a reason to keep going and still be me. So when you read this, (and I know you will, because you always love reading the things I've written on here - yes, I caught you looking!) I hope you remember that although I never say it, I do love you. Anyway, you're turning me into such a sap, so I think I should stop this now. I'll leave you with this message, My light, my other half, my love, my gutterflower. I found it enlightening myself:
There are some qualities- some incorporate things,
That have a double life, which thus is made
A type of that twin entity which springs
From matter and light, evinced in solid and shade.
There is a two-fold Silence- sea and shore-
Body and soul. The light one dwells in lonely places,
Newly with grass o'ergrown; some solemn graces,
Some human memories and tearful lore,
Render him terrorless: his name's "No More."
He is the corporate Silence: dread him not!
No power hath he of the evil in himself;
But should some urgent fate (untimely lot!)
Bring thee to meet his shadow (nameless elf,
That haunteth the lone regions where hath trod
No foot of man,) commend thyself to God!
- Edgar Allan Poe (appropriate for us, no?)
~singed yours truly;
the egocentric tomb-robber.
a.k.a. Yami Bakura