Title: Criminal
Author: Amanda, nihongogirl2003.whichever
Rating: This chapter is probably more a PG than PG-13. There is one little swear word.
Characters: Jack and Irina, little bit of S/V later on
Disclaimers: They aren't mine, I just want to play with them for a while.
A/N: This is my first ever Alias fic and people liked it so much it became a series. I hope you enjoy. All the part in this series will have songs in the beginning. First was Cry Me a River, by Justin Timberlake, this one is Criminal and next is Shadowboxer, both by Fiona Apple. Last is Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps, sung by Doris Day. Please read and review.
I've been a bad bad girl I've been careless with a delicate man And it's a sad sad world When a girl will break a boy Just because she can Don't you tell me to deny it I've done wrong and I want to Suffer for my sins I've come to you cause I need Guidance to be true And I just don't know where I can begin
What I need is a good defense 'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal And I need to be redeemed To the one I've sinned against Because he's all I ever knew of love
Heaven help me for the way I am Save me from these evil deeds Before I get them done I know tomorrow brings the consequence At hand But I keep livin' this day like The next will never come
Oh help me but don't tell me To deny it I've got to cleanse myself Of all these lies till I'm good Enough for him I've got a lot to lose and I'm Bettin' high So I'm beggin' you before it ends Just tell me where to begin
Irina sat on her bed, waiting for the gate to buzz. Today was the day that Jack, Dr. Barnett and her would talk. It was only yesterday that he had walked away from her after she admitted that she was still in love with him. He had left, saying he was tired of hearing her lies, that it was her turn to cry over him instead of the other way around. She had had no visitors yet today and she was getting lonely, even more so than she was normally from sitting in a drab cell for 23 hours and 45 minutes.
As she was musing on the fact that she was really looking forward to seeing Jack, even if he hated her, she heard the buzzer. She walked to the glass, looking for him. He wasn't there, it was only Barnett. "Where is Jack?" she asked, trying not to sound to disappointed that he wasn't there.
"Agent Bristow was called away on a sudden mission for SD-6. So, it's just you and me, Ms. Derevko."
Great, Irina thought. Just great. Now what?
Barnett grabbed the chair, placed it in front of the glass and sat down. "I have permission to continue this without Agent Bristow but if you are uncomfortable with that or feel it necessary that he be here, we can wait for him to get back before we start this."
"I see no problem in doing this without him." In fact, she did, but she wouldn't let Barnett know that. She would suffer through this awful 'therapy session.'
"Ok, great. I would like to start by talking about your early relationship with Agent Bristow. How did you meet?"
Irina thought about this for a second. She could answer the question with what she knew Barnett wanted to hear or she could give her the runaround. Hmm.the runaround could be fun for awhile, she thought. "I met him because it was my assignment. I had no real choice in the matter, Dr. Barnett."
"I don't believe that was the question, Ms. Derevko. I asked how you met, not why you met. If you're going to be difficult, we can just wait until Jack returns from his assignment."
Difficult? Jack? Since when did she get to call him by his first name? And since when was she being difficult? Irina was pondering this as Barnett was waiting for her to answer.
"Ms. Derevko, would you like to continue this and answer the questions I ask you or wait until we can do this with the two of you?"
Barnett was getting annoyed and she could tell. "This should be interesting," Irina muttered under her breath.
"What was that?"
"I said, I will answer your questions, Dr. Barnett, so start asking."
"I'll ask again then. How did you and Jack meet?"
Barnett saying Jack was really getting on her nerves, but she let it go. She thought about when she first met him. "I was told that Jack liked to frequent a restaurant called The Bronze on the weekends when he wasn't on assignment. So I started to go every weekend, just to watch him. It was a couple of weeks after that when I actually talked to him."
"And how did you start talking?" Barnett asked.
"I bought him a glass of whatever he was drinking; I don't remember what it was. I told the waiter to tell him it was from me. After Jack got it, he came over and sat at my table and we talked. We talked until the place closed at 2. I sent him the drink at 10."
"What did you think of Agent Bristow when you actually did talk to him, besides that he was just your assignment?"
Irina thought about that for a minute or two, then began. "I thought he was a nice man, he seemed very kind. He was very intelligent. I could tell that he wasn't exactly sure why I was talking to him; it was like he thought he wasn't good enough for me." But it was the other way around, she thought.
"Do you remember what you talked about for four hours?" Barnett was becoming interested in this conversation; she thought she might be able to help Jack and Irina work through their problems. But first, she had to discover exactly what those problems were.
"Anything and everything. Sports, literature, politics, music, movies, television. We really hit it off when we talked about books. Jack and I both love to read. That was part of the reason why my 'job' was literature professor. When the restaurant closed, we just walked around the city together, talking. I didn't get home until 4, if I remember correctly. As he walked my to my door, we made plans to meet at the Bronze the next Saturday at 8 for dinner."
"Did you consider the evening to be a success, as an agent of the KGB?"
Irina smiled slightly before answering. "It wasn't like he told me every government secret he ever knew in the 6 hours I'd known him, but I did get acquainted with him and made plans to talk to him again. I guess you could call that successful."
"Okay, so you made plans to have dinner." Barnett sounded a little jealous. "What happened at dinner?"
"Jack was the perfect gentleman. He pulled my chair out for me, stood up when I got up; he had perfect manners. It seemed to me that he was trying to show that he could be good enough for me if he really wanted to be. After dinner he asked me to dance and I accepted. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor." She could still remember how it felt when he took her hand. It was the first time they had really touched and it had been burned into her memory.
Barnett watched Irina as she was recalling all of this. Derevko had a small smile playing across her lips. She looked completely lost in thought and memory. Barnett just had to interrupt her. "What happened next?"
Irina sighed. She was having fun remembering and didn't want to be bothered. "We danced and then he brought me home. We decided to have dinner again in two weeks, because he would be out of town the next week. Then he kissed me on the cheek and left." She could almost feel Jack's arms around her again, even after all these years. "When I got in the door, I contacted Cuvee at the KGB and told him everything was going as planned. Then I went to bed."
"Were you concerned about how this would affect Jack if he found out the truth?"
"Of course not. Well, not yet anyway. At the beginning this was just an assignment that I had to complete for the good of my country." She knew what Barnett's next question would be, so she prepared herself to answer.
"And at the end of your 'assignment'?" This is where the problems start, Barnett thought.
"I knew it would crush him, but there was nothing I could do. If I had stayed like I'd wanted to, the KGB would have killed us all."
"You wanted to stay?" Here we go.let the healing begin, she thought smugly.
"Yes. But this is nothing that Jack doesn't already know, so how do you fit into all of this?" She really didn't want to get into that with Barnett. She didn't need her psychobabble.
"Alright, I'll stay away from the fact that you wanted to stay and go instead into what made you want to stay. I thought it had been only a mission for you, nothing more." Barnett smiled, satisfied with herself.
Tricky bitch, Irina thought. She just won't let it go, will she? I guess I'll tell her what she wants to hear. "It was at first, but then I really got to know Jack and it became more personal that it should have. That was my fault and I admit it. When we were married, I waited for him to come from work so I could see him, not ask him about what went on that day at the CIA. When Sydney was born, it became more and more difficult to think about leaving them."
"So in the six years that Sydney was around, you decided you wanted to stay?"
"No. Sydney being born only made me want to stay more. I had decided I wanted to stay before she born."
"What was it that really made you want to stay? Was it something Jack did?"
Irina got a far off look in her eyes again. "He took me out for our anniversary. That night was the first time I admitted to myself that I actually did love him. Then I became pregnant. Seeing Jack with Sydney when she was a baby broke my heart. I knew I was going to have to leave them."
"How did you feel when you had to leave?"
"I felt like I was betraying my daughter and the only man I have ever loved," Irina snapped. She was getting tired of this 'therapy' and it was showing.
Barnett picked up on that. "I think that we're done for today. I'll reschedule with Agent Bristow and I'll be back to talk to you both."
"Can't wait." Barnett left and Irina was left alone.
What I need is a good defense 'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal And I need to be redeemed To the one I've sinned against Because he's all I ever knew of love
Let me know the way Before there's hell to pay Give me room to lay the law and let me go I've got to make a play To make my lover stay So what would an angel say The devil wants to know
What I need is a good defense 'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal And I need to be redeemed To the one I've sinned against Because he's all I ever knew of love
What I need is a good defense 'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal And I need to be redeemed To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Author: Amanda, nihongogirl2003.whichever
Rating: This chapter is probably more a PG than PG-13. There is one little swear word.
Characters: Jack and Irina, little bit of S/V later on
Disclaimers: They aren't mine, I just want to play with them for a while.
A/N: This is my first ever Alias fic and people liked it so much it became a series. I hope you enjoy. All the part in this series will have songs in the beginning. First was Cry Me a River, by Justin Timberlake, this one is Criminal and next is Shadowboxer, both by Fiona Apple. Last is Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps, sung by Doris Day. Please read and review.
I've been a bad bad girl I've been careless with a delicate man And it's a sad sad world When a girl will break a boy Just because she can Don't you tell me to deny it I've done wrong and I want to Suffer for my sins I've come to you cause I need Guidance to be true And I just don't know where I can begin
What I need is a good defense 'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal And I need to be redeemed To the one I've sinned against Because he's all I ever knew of love
Heaven help me for the way I am Save me from these evil deeds Before I get them done I know tomorrow brings the consequence At hand But I keep livin' this day like The next will never come
Oh help me but don't tell me To deny it I've got to cleanse myself Of all these lies till I'm good Enough for him I've got a lot to lose and I'm Bettin' high So I'm beggin' you before it ends Just tell me where to begin
Irina sat on her bed, waiting for the gate to buzz. Today was the day that Jack, Dr. Barnett and her would talk. It was only yesterday that he had walked away from her after she admitted that she was still in love with him. He had left, saying he was tired of hearing her lies, that it was her turn to cry over him instead of the other way around. She had had no visitors yet today and she was getting lonely, even more so than she was normally from sitting in a drab cell for 23 hours and 45 minutes.
As she was musing on the fact that she was really looking forward to seeing Jack, even if he hated her, she heard the buzzer. She walked to the glass, looking for him. He wasn't there, it was only Barnett. "Where is Jack?" she asked, trying not to sound to disappointed that he wasn't there.
"Agent Bristow was called away on a sudden mission for SD-6. So, it's just you and me, Ms. Derevko."
Great, Irina thought. Just great. Now what?
Barnett grabbed the chair, placed it in front of the glass and sat down. "I have permission to continue this without Agent Bristow but if you are uncomfortable with that or feel it necessary that he be here, we can wait for him to get back before we start this."
"I see no problem in doing this without him." In fact, she did, but she wouldn't let Barnett know that. She would suffer through this awful 'therapy session.'
"Ok, great. I would like to start by talking about your early relationship with Agent Bristow. How did you meet?"
Irina thought about this for a second. She could answer the question with what she knew Barnett wanted to hear or she could give her the runaround. Hmm.the runaround could be fun for awhile, she thought. "I met him because it was my assignment. I had no real choice in the matter, Dr. Barnett."
"I don't believe that was the question, Ms. Derevko. I asked how you met, not why you met. If you're going to be difficult, we can just wait until Jack returns from his assignment."
Difficult? Jack? Since when did she get to call him by his first name? And since when was she being difficult? Irina was pondering this as Barnett was waiting for her to answer.
"Ms. Derevko, would you like to continue this and answer the questions I ask you or wait until we can do this with the two of you?"
Barnett was getting annoyed and she could tell. "This should be interesting," Irina muttered under her breath.
"What was that?"
"I said, I will answer your questions, Dr. Barnett, so start asking."
"I'll ask again then. How did you and Jack meet?"
Barnett saying Jack was really getting on her nerves, but she let it go. She thought about when she first met him. "I was told that Jack liked to frequent a restaurant called The Bronze on the weekends when he wasn't on assignment. So I started to go every weekend, just to watch him. It was a couple of weeks after that when I actually talked to him."
"And how did you start talking?" Barnett asked.
"I bought him a glass of whatever he was drinking; I don't remember what it was. I told the waiter to tell him it was from me. After Jack got it, he came over and sat at my table and we talked. We talked until the place closed at 2. I sent him the drink at 10."
"What did you think of Agent Bristow when you actually did talk to him, besides that he was just your assignment?"
Irina thought about that for a minute or two, then began. "I thought he was a nice man, he seemed very kind. He was very intelligent. I could tell that he wasn't exactly sure why I was talking to him; it was like he thought he wasn't good enough for me." But it was the other way around, she thought.
"Do you remember what you talked about for four hours?" Barnett was becoming interested in this conversation; she thought she might be able to help Jack and Irina work through their problems. But first, she had to discover exactly what those problems were.
"Anything and everything. Sports, literature, politics, music, movies, television. We really hit it off when we talked about books. Jack and I both love to read. That was part of the reason why my 'job' was literature professor. When the restaurant closed, we just walked around the city together, talking. I didn't get home until 4, if I remember correctly. As he walked my to my door, we made plans to meet at the Bronze the next Saturday at 8 for dinner."
"Did you consider the evening to be a success, as an agent of the KGB?"
Irina smiled slightly before answering. "It wasn't like he told me every government secret he ever knew in the 6 hours I'd known him, but I did get acquainted with him and made plans to talk to him again. I guess you could call that successful."
"Okay, so you made plans to have dinner." Barnett sounded a little jealous. "What happened at dinner?"
"Jack was the perfect gentleman. He pulled my chair out for me, stood up when I got up; he had perfect manners. It seemed to me that he was trying to show that he could be good enough for me if he really wanted to be. After dinner he asked me to dance and I accepted. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor." She could still remember how it felt when he took her hand. It was the first time they had really touched and it had been burned into her memory.
Barnett watched Irina as she was recalling all of this. Derevko had a small smile playing across her lips. She looked completely lost in thought and memory. Barnett just had to interrupt her. "What happened next?"
Irina sighed. She was having fun remembering and didn't want to be bothered. "We danced and then he brought me home. We decided to have dinner again in two weeks, because he would be out of town the next week. Then he kissed me on the cheek and left." She could almost feel Jack's arms around her again, even after all these years. "When I got in the door, I contacted Cuvee at the KGB and told him everything was going as planned. Then I went to bed."
"Were you concerned about how this would affect Jack if he found out the truth?"
"Of course not. Well, not yet anyway. At the beginning this was just an assignment that I had to complete for the good of my country." She knew what Barnett's next question would be, so she prepared herself to answer.
"And at the end of your 'assignment'?" This is where the problems start, Barnett thought.
"I knew it would crush him, but there was nothing I could do. If I had stayed like I'd wanted to, the KGB would have killed us all."
"You wanted to stay?" Here we go.let the healing begin, she thought smugly.
"Yes. But this is nothing that Jack doesn't already know, so how do you fit into all of this?" She really didn't want to get into that with Barnett. She didn't need her psychobabble.
"Alright, I'll stay away from the fact that you wanted to stay and go instead into what made you want to stay. I thought it had been only a mission for you, nothing more." Barnett smiled, satisfied with herself.
Tricky bitch, Irina thought. She just won't let it go, will she? I guess I'll tell her what she wants to hear. "It was at first, but then I really got to know Jack and it became more personal that it should have. That was my fault and I admit it. When we were married, I waited for him to come from work so I could see him, not ask him about what went on that day at the CIA. When Sydney was born, it became more and more difficult to think about leaving them."
"So in the six years that Sydney was around, you decided you wanted to stay?"
"No. Sydney being born only made me want to stay more. I had decided I wanted to stay before she born."
"What was it that really made you want to stay? Was it something Jack did?"
Irina got a far off look in her eyes again. "He took me out for our anniversary. That night was the first time I admitted to myself that I actually did love him. Then I became pregnant. Seeing Jack with Sydney when she was a baby broke my heart. I knew I was going to have to leave them."
"How did you feel when you had to leave?"
"I felt like I was betraying my daughter and the only man I have ever loved," Irina snapped. She was getting tired of this 'therapy' and it was showing.
Barnett picked up on that. "I think that we're done for today. I'll reschedule with Agent Bristow and I'll be back to talk to you both."
"Can't wait." Barnett left and Irina was left alone.
What I need is a good defense 'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal And I need to be redeemed To the one I've sinned against Because he's all I ever knew of love
Let me know the way Before there's hell to pay Give me room to lay the law and let me go I've got to make a play To make my lover stay So what would an angel say The devil wants to know
What I need is a good defense 'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal And I need to be redeemed To the one I've sinned against Because he's all I ever knew of love
What I need is a good defense 'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal And I need to be redeemed To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love