When She Cries
Chapter 4 - The Vision
Gil was awakened unpleasantly by the ringing of the cell phone in his back pocket. He answered it, still somewhat asleep, and was greeted by the angry voice of Catherine.
"Grissom, what the hell? You were supposed to be here by six. Where are you?"
Gil looked around the room until he spotted a grandfather clock. It was almost six thirty.
"God, Catherine, I'm really sorry. I just got tied up."
"Literally, Gil?" Catherine snapped.
"Very funny."
"I'm not laughing, Grissom. Get your ass down here."
"I'm on my way."
"Good!" Catherine hung up without saying goodbye.
"I'm sorry if I got you into any trouble," said Lady Heather, as Gil hurried out.
"It's not your fault," he said. "I'll talk to you later." He stopped just long enough to embrace her, before reluctantly letting go and running out the door.
"I don't know what's gotten into you," said Catherine, as Gil walked with her to the lab to get some DNA results. "It's not like you to be late for work."
"There's a first time for everything, Catherine," Gil said with a shrug. Catherine gave him a look of annoyance.
"Since when have you been so flippant about missing work? If I were a half hour late, you'd crucify me."
Gil stopped walking and stared at Catherine, trying to think of something to say in response to her that would not make him look like a hypocrite. Unable to think of anything, he let her continue.
"Does this have anything to do with Lady Heather?" she asked.
"Just leave her out of this, Catherine."
"It's her, isn't it? She's the reason you haven't been focused lately. Why? Why is she affecting you like this?"
Gil felt himself being cornered, and he attempted to avoid Catherine's questions. "My personal life is none of your business."
"I'm asking because I care about you. Something's happening to you, Gil. I mean, I've seen you in love before, but I've never seen you like this."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Gil insisted. He knew his lies would do no good, but they were easier than the truth.
Catherine sighed, frustrated, though not defeated. "Listen, Gil, you and I both know how much commitment this job requires. I can't stop you from seeing Lady Heather, but let me just warn you, don't get in over your head. Don't let her take you away from your work."
"That's not going to happen," he said. Without another word, he walked away, and Catherine soon followed behind him in silence. He was angry at Catherine, not because of what she had said to him, but because he was afraid that she may be right.
Another dream came to him as he slept a few nights later. This time, instead of being dark, the world was ablaze. Again, Lady Heather was there, but instead of being separated, they were together. She was with him, laying against him as she had that afternoon. She lovingly gazed into his eyes, and he heard her whisper, "I'm glad you're here, Gil."
"I love you," he responded.
Before him, amidst the flames, he could see the CSI headquarters. Inside were his co-workers, Catherine, Sara, Greg… the lab, his office, his spiders and beetles, everything he saw every day. All of it was being consumed by the flames. Everything disappeared, until all he could see was Catherine, standing in the orange glare. He slowly began to fall. He reached for her, but just like he had been held back from Lady Heather in his first dream, he was held back from Catherine by the invisible barrier.
"You chose," said Catherine. "Goodbye, Gil."
"No," he murmured aloud, waking from the dream. He lay wide awake, staring at the ceiling. What had happened?
Slowly, he began to put the pieces together. He loved Lady Heather, but it was clear that he was not meant to be with her. He felt an intense jealousy toward people who were able to balance love with responsibility. He had never had that talent. He could not handle the two at once. He had always known that he could not, but he loved her so much, he wished he could.
Lady Heather, Gil realized, was like every woman he had ever loved. She, like all the others, would have to leave him and find someone who could be with her when she needed him. She needed someone who could be beside her always. Someone to hold her when she cried. Gil knew that he could not be that person. Not without giving up his whole world. He had to choose.
The choice itself was not difficult. What was painful for him was having to make it in the first place. He would have to tell her soon. He resolved to call her in the morning and arrange another visit. As much as he knew it would hurt, he had to let her go.
Chapter 4 - The Vision
Gil was awakened unpleasantly by the ringing of the cell phone in his back pocket. He answered it, still somewhat asleep, and was greeted by the angry voice of Catherine.
"Grissom, what the hell? You were supposed to be here by six. Where are you?"
Gil looked around the room until he spotted a grandfather clock. It was almost six thirty.
"God, Catherine, I'm really sorry. I just got tied up."
"Literally, Gil?" Catherine snapped.
"Very funny."
"I'm not laughing, Grissom. Get your ass down here."
"I'm on my way."
"Good!" Catherine hung up without saying goodbye.
"I'm sorry if I got you into any trouble," said Lady Heather, as Gil hurried out.
"It's not your fault," he said. "I'll talk to you later." He stopped just long enough to embrace her, before reluctantly letting go and running out the door.
"I don't know what's gotten into you," said Catherine, as Gil walked with her to the lab to get some DNA results. "It's not like you to be late for work."
"There's a first time for everything, Catherine," Gil said with a shrug. Catherine gave him a look of annoyance.
"Since when have you been so flippant about missing work? If I were a half hour late, you'd crucify me."
Gil stopped walking and stared at Catherine, trying to think of something to say in response to her that would not make him look like a hypocrite. Unable to think of anything, he let her continue.
"Does this have anything to do with Lady Heather?" she asked.
"Just leave her out of this, Catherine."
"It's her, isn't it? She's the reason you haven't been focused lately. Why? Why is she affecting you like this?"
Gil felt himself being cornered, and he attempted to avoid Catherine's questions. "My personal life is none of your business."
"I'm asking because I care about you. Something's happening to you, Gil. I mean, I've seen you in love before, but I've never seen you like this."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Gil insisted. He knew his lies would do no good, but they were easier than the truth.
Catherine sighed, frustrated, though not defeated. "Listen, Gil, you and I both know how much commitment this job requires. I can't stop you from seeing Lady Heather, but let me just warn you, don't get in over your head. Don't let her take you away from your work."
"That's not going to happen," he said. Without another word, he walked away, and Catherine soon followed behind him in silence. He was angry at Catherine, not because of what she had said to him, but because he was afraid that she may be right.
Another dream came to him as he slept a few nights later. This time, instead of being dark, the world was ablaze. Again, Lady Heather was there, but instead of being separated, they were together. She was with him, laying against him as she had that afternoon. She lovingly gazed into his eyes, and he heard her whisper, "I'm glad you're here, Gil."
"I love you," he responded.
Before him, amidst the flames, he could see the CSI headquarters. Inside were his co-workers, Catherine, Sara, Greg… the lab, his office, his spiders and beetles, everything he saw every day. All of it was being consumed by the flames. Everything disappeared, until all he could see was Catherine, standing in the orange glare. He slowly began to fall. He reached for her, but just like he had been held back from Lady Heather in his first dream, he was held back from Catherine by the invisible barrier.
"You chose," said Catherine. "Goodbye, Gil."
"No," he murmured aloud, waking from the dream. He lay wide awake, staring at the ceiling. What had happened?
Slowly, he began to put the pieces together. He loved Lady Heather, but it was clear that he was not meant to be with her. He felt an intense jealousy toward people who were able to balance love with responsibility. He had never had that talent. He could not handle the two at once. He had always known that he could not, but he loved her so much, he wished he could.
Lady Heather, Gil realized, was like every woman he had ever loved. She, like all the others, would have to leave him and find someone who could be with her when she needed him. She needed someone who could be beside her always. Someone to hold her when she cried. Gil knew that he could not be that person. Not without giving up his whole world. He had to choose.
The choice itself was not difficult. What was painful for him was having to make it in the first place. He would have to tell her soon. He resolved to call her in the morning and arrange another visit. As much as he knew it would hurt, he had to let her go.