Word of caution: this story is going to be confusing at times. But it's
intended to be confusing, because it's a confusing time for Meiling. Also,
don't mind the hospital talk/descriptions. I'm not a medical writer, and my
descriptions of the hospital is purely intended for simplicity. I could
research it and sound more professional and realistic, but I'm lazy. ;)
I think that's all I wanted to say. As always, part of the inspiration for
this story comes from the song "Utopia" by Goldfrapp. Download it and
listen!
To anyone who's waiting for another chapter of Meteor Shower (shameful
plug) I do plan on writing the next bit up in the coming week. I just got
sidetracked.
But, onto the story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My eyes focus all of a sudden, and the haze over my mind is lifted. I look around and nothing I see is familiar. Everything is all different, I don't know where I am. I stand up, my legs ache with pain. I take a moment to stretch out, my eyes flickering around the room as I do. It seems damp, and a little cold. I can hear dripping in the distance. I can sense that something is not quite right.
I take a few tentative steps forward, peering down into the darkness that lies before me. I can sense something, and it just doesn't feel right. A growing sense of apprehension is building in me, my joints are starting to stiffen. It just keeps getting darker the further I go, and that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach grows stronger. I know that whatever I'm about to face is going to change my life forever. And as I keep walking into this darkness, I start to wonder; just what am I walking into?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Out of the way! We have a serious head injury patient coming through!" Syaoran had never felt so out of breath before in his life, so in need of a rest. As the double doors to the operating room swung closed in front of him, he stopped. He eyed the blue uniformed oderly standing there, an older man with eyes full of sympathy.
"Now listen here son, your little friend in there will be fine. That's one of our finest head trauma doctors in there, so whatever's wrong with your girlfriend, he'll fix it."
"She's not my girlfriend." Syaoran was shocked at his own words; even in such a context as this, he could never let that fact go. Was it so cold of him to be constantly annoyed at the romantic comparisons made between them constantly? "She's my cousin." Cousin? Since when did he refer to her as a mere cousin? "She's my best friend. Since early childhood, and nothing has ever happened to her before and I don't want to lose her." Whoa, back up a little there. Lose her? He needed a moment to sit down, have a glass of water. He was falling apart here!
"I understand, you're scared."
"No I'm not scared. I never get scared." Who was this old guy anyway, sticking his nose in where it didn't belong? Suggesting that he, Syaoran Li, could be scared? Blasphemy.
"Why don't we go down the hall here, there's a waiting room, you can sit down." Syaoran brushed past the orderly, stalking down the hall. Sitting down, what a novel idea. He breezed into the waiting room, nearly falling into the first chair he saw. His head came falling down into his hands, and he felt his throat constricting. What was happening to him? He couldn't fall apart, not now.
"Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" He felt a hand touch his shoulder, and heard some muffled voices around him. All the while as he was trying to make them out, he was finding it harder and harder to breathe.
"Somebody get a doctor or something, I think he's hyperventilating!" He felt himself being pushed onto the floor, someone was pulling at his arms and legs. And he still couldn't breathe. Finally, after feeling the tiniest prick in his arm, did breath come back to him. His throat opened up, and he took the deepest breath he had ever taken. And then he suddenly felt very tired, and couldn't help but be swallowed up into sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hi, I'm Sakura Kinomoto, and I'm looking for Syaoran Li."
"Let me take a look here a moment-"
"Uh no sorry. I don't think he's on record or anything. His cousin, Meiling Li, is here, and he brought her in, and he had a panic attack or something, I don't know what they did with him. But a friend of mine who volunteers here called me." The nurse grasped the small hand of the frightened girl standing in front of her, nodding her head in understanding.
"Go on up to the fifth floor. There's a nurse's station up there, they'll know where to send you." Sakura nodded and uttered a thank you, then turned to head for the elevators. She got inside, pressing the button labelled with a 5. There were a few nurses who got on with her, chatting about a patient. Sakura tried to stay calm and remain focused, but she was very scared. Not only had something happened to Meiling; of what, she wasn't even sure; but it had caused Syaoran to have a panic attack. She had never witnessed him come anything close to the sort before. So she wasn't sure what worried her more, Meiling's condition, or it's affect on Syaoran. The bell dinged, and she felt herself nudged by one of the nurses.
"Your floor, right?" Sakura nodded and quickly got off, her eyes scanning for the nurses' station. She spotted it quickly, running down the hall towards it. She stopped in front of it, catching her breath so she could address the nurse on duty. Her eyes caught the sign proclaiming what this wing of the fifth floor was for. "Severe Head Trauma"
"May I help you miss?" Sakura suddenly found herself unable to speak, as she just stared past the nurse at the sign. She felt a hand on her shoulder, slightly shaking her. "Excuse me? Are you alright?" Sakura shook her head, trying to focus her thoughts.
"Um, I'm looking for my boyfriend actually. My friend, his cousin, was brought in earlier and he apparently had a panic attack or something so my other friend who volunteers here called me and told me-"
"Syaoran is it? He's fine, he's just resting in a room down the hall. He gave us quite a scare. Just all of a sudden started hyperventilating, stopped breathing for a moment. But he's fine now. He must really care about his cousin." Sakura took in the words, relieved that Syaoran seemed fine.
"Um, exactly what happened to Meiling? Is she, well, what happened?" Sakura looked pleadingly at the nurse.
"Well dear, we're not exactly certain what happened. Your boyfriend was the one who brought her in. I believe he said she fell, or something. Do you want to go and see him? He's awake, so maybe he could tell you what happened exactly." Sakura nodded, and allowed herself to be led down the hall by the nurse. Her eyes caught a glimpse of Syaoran laying on a bed, eyes on the window. She ran to him immediately, throwing her arms around him.
"Syaoran! What happened?" She looked into his eyes and was shocked at what she saw. He was crying.
"Sakura, I didn't do anything. I couldn't. I couldn't save her."
"What happened?"
"I just saw her fall, even before, it's like I knew she would fall, but I was frozen and I couldn't do anything. I just stood there and watched her fall. But I ran here as fast as I could, it wasn't that far. I picked her up and carried her, and now they took her into that operating room and I don't want to lose her!" Sakura tried to make sense of Syaoran's tearful ramblings, but found it hard to concentrate when the boy whom she had hardly ever seen show any emotion was crying in front of her.
"It's okay. They'll take care of her. It's not your fault." Sakura uttered the words, which seemed to come from nowhere. Syaoran clung to her, his tears drying on her shirt. She stroked his hair, and listened to his sobs, which were now slowing down. She wished a doctor could come and tell them what was going on.
"Would you two like anything?" Sakura turned around to see a different nurse standing in the doorway, her soft face turned up in a smile. "Juice, water, food? We have a cafeteria downstairs. We can give you some coupons for things while you're waiting." Suddenly Sakura remembered that she hadn't eaten anything all day. The distraction might prove useful in getting Syaoran to collect himself as well. She nodded, getting off the bed and waiting for him to follow her. They followed the nurse as she led to them to nurse's station, and got them coupons for free sandwiches and juice. Sakura took them gratefully, thanking her for her kindness.
"When will someone talk to us? Is she okay?" Sakura was shocked at how shaky her boyfriend's voice was, how insecure and scared he sounded. The nurse laid a hand on his shoulder, and spoke in her softest voice, sympathetic and caring, but not the same childish nature some of the other hospital workers had shown.
"Well, they're still in the operating room. As soon as they finish up, Dr. Mano-san will see you. We'd also like to wait until her parents arrive as well."
"They won't. They're away for the month. Can't be contacted but by foot. You'll still let us know won't you?" The nurse nodded, reassuring Syaoran that no matter who showed up, as soon as the doctors knew anything, he would be the first to know. With this knowledge in hand, he allowed Sakura to take his hand and lead him down to the cafeteria.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"She's not doing well, is she?"
"It's impressive she's still alive at this point. I don't know for how long though. And if she does somehow pull through, I don't know what kind of condition she'll be in. Too early to tell. But there's a likelihood of some major brain damage, memory loss, even loss of control over the limbs. Kid'll probably be in a wheelchair for a good portion of her life. But even that is the best case scenario."
"If you can really call such a thing a best case scenario." The doctors and nurses all murmured their agreement, such a pity, for such a young and pretty girl to be facing that kind of future. They scrubbed up in relative silence, the five hour surgery to relieve the pressure on her brain from blood clots, stop the internal bleeding, and get her skull back together had been mind-numbing. Even now, there was a different team in there, to fix up her smashed teeth, broken jaw and cheekbones, and set her broken arm, and after that, provided she made it, there will still be hours upon hours of plastic surgery. Makes you wonder sometimes if there's even really a point, maybe you should just let them die quickly.
But that wasn't how the medical system operated, and they had done their damndest to see that she would make it as far as possible. But now came the hardest part of all. Doing the surgery, making those cuts and drilling those holes, that was mere childplay when faced with the task of talking to the patients' family. That was the part of the job that he despised the most.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Suddenly the darkness around her seemed to lift, and she saw a tiny light in the distance. She wasn't all that certain if she should reach for it, she had come to find a little peace in the darkness down here. She sat down on the floor, her legs crossed, and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and started to think, tried to remember what had gone on before she found herself here. She couldn't remember, and opened her eyes again, frustrated. She was also growing frustrated at that light from off in the distance. It was shining all over the wall behind her now, almost as though it was searching for her. She could hear the faint sound of what sounded like footsteps. She peered down in front of her, straining to hear.
"Hey, there you are. I've been searching everywhere for you. Why did you take off like that?" She looked up into the face of the girl standing in front of her. She seemed familar, yet she couldn't quite place her. "Come on, let's get going. Wouldn't want to get caught down here." She let herself be pulled up by this girl with honey-brown hair, whose emerald green eyes sparkled. They ran through the dark corridor, following the beam of her flashlight. Eventually they stopped in front of a big door. She watched as the other girl opened it, and gestured for her to step through. "Go on, everyone is eager to see you again." She hesitated, unsure as to whether she should trust this girl. The darkness was so comforting, and so peaceful. But that door did pique her curiousity, and she longed to know what was on the other side.
So she took a deep breath, nodded to the familiar-looking girl, and walked through the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My eyes focus all of a sudden, and the haze over my mind is lifted. I look around and nothing I see is familiar. Everything is all different, I don't know where I am. I stand up, my legs ache with pain. I take a moment to stretch out, my eyes flickering around the room as I do. It seems damp, and a little cold. I can hear dripping in the distance. I can sense that something is not quite right.
I take a few tentative steps forward, peering down into the darkness that lies before me. I can sense something, and it just doesn't feel right. A growing sense of apprehension is building in me, my joints are starting to stiffen. It just keeps getting darker the further I go, and that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach grows stronger. I know that whatever I'm about to face is going to change my life forever. And as I keep walking into this darkness, I start to wonder; just what am I walking into?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Out of the way! We have a serious head injury patient coming through!" Syaoran had never felt so out of breath before in his life, so in need of a rest. As the double doors to the operating room swung closed in front of him, he stopped. He eyed the blue uniformed oderly standing there, an older man with eyes full of sympathy.
"Now listen here son, your little friend in there will be fine. That's one of our finest head trauma doctors in there, so whatever's wrong with your girlfriend, he'll fix it."
"She's not my girlfriend." Syaoran was shocked at his own words; even in such a context as this, he could never let that fact go. Was it so cold of him to be constantly annoyed at the romantic comparisons made between them constantly? "She's my cousin." Cousin? Since when did he refer to her as a mere cousin? "She's my best friend. Since early childhood, and nothing has ever happened to her before and I don't want to lose her." Whoa, back up a little there. Lose her? He needed a moment to sit down, have a glass of water. He was falling apart here!
"I understand, you're scared."
"No I'm not scared. I never get scared." Who was this old guy anyway, sticking his nose in where it didn't belong? Suggesting that he, Syaoran Li, could be scared? Blasphemy.
"Why don't we go down the hall here, there's a waiting room, you can sit down." Syaoran brushed past the orderly, stalking down the hall. Sitting down, what a novel idea. He breezed into the waiting room, nearly falling into the first chair he saw. His head came falling down into his hands, and he felt his throat constricting. What was happening to him? He couldn't fall apart, not now.
"Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" He felt a hand touch his shoulder, and heard some muffled voices around him. All the while as he was trying to make them out, he was finding it harder and harder to breathe.
"Somebody get a doctor or something, I think he's hyperventilating!" He felt himself being pushed onto the floor, someone was pulling at his arms and legs. And he still couldn't breathe. Finally, after feeling the tiniest prick in his arm, did breath come back to him. His throat opened up, and he took the deepest breath he had ever taken. And then he suddenly felt very tired, and couldn't help but be swallowed up into sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hi, I'm Sakura Kinomoto, and I'm looking for Syaoran Li."
"Let me take a look here a moment-"
"Uh no sorry. I don't think he's on record or anything. His cousin, Meiling Li, is here, and he brought her in, and he had a panic attack or something, I don't know what they did with him. But a friend of mine who volunteers here called me." The nurse grasped the small hand of the frightened girl standing in front of her, nodding her head in understanding.
"Go on up to the fifth floor. There's a nurse's station up there, they'll know where to send you." Sakura nodded and uttered a thank you, then turned to head for the elevators. She got inside, pressing the button labelled with a 5. There were a few nurses who got on with her, chatting about a patient. Sakura tried to stay calm and remain focused, but she was very scared. Not only had something happened to Meiling; of what, she wasn't even sure; but it had caused Syaoran to have a panic attack. She had never witnessed him come anything close to the sort before. So she wasn't sure what worried her more, Meiling's condition, or it's affect on Syaoran. The bell dinged, and she felt herself nudged by one of the nurses.
"Your floor, right?" Sakura nodded and quickly got off, her eyes scanning for the nurses' station. She spotted it quickly, running down the hall towards it. She stopped in front of it, catching her breath so she could address the nurse on duty. Her eyes caught the sign proclaiming what this wing of the fifth floor was for. "Severe Head Trauma"
"May I help you miss?" Sakura suddenly found herself unable to speak, as she just stared past the nurse at the sign. She felt a hand on her shoulder, slightly shaking her. "Excuse me? Are you alright?" Sakura shook her head, trying to focus her thoughts.
"Um, I'm looking for my boyfriend actually. My friend, his cousin, was brought in earlier and he apparently had a panic attack or something so my other friend who volunteers here called me and told me-"
"Syaoran is it? He's fine, he's just resting in a room down the hall. He gave us quite a scare. Just all of a sudden started hyperventilating, stopped breathing for a moment. But he's fine now. He must really care about his cousin." Sakura took in the words, relieved that Syaoran seemed fine.
"Um, exactly what happened to Meiling? Is she, well, what happened?" Sakura looked pleadingly at the nurse.
"Well dear, we're not exactly certain what happened. Your boyfriend was the one who brought her in. I believe he said she fell, or something. Do you want to go and see him? He's awake, so maybe he could tell you what happened exactly." Sakura nodded, and allowed herself to be led down the hall by the nurse. Her eyes caught a glimpse of Syaoran laying on a bed, eyes on the window. She ran to him immediately, throwing her arms around him.
"Syaoran! What happened?" She looked into his eyes and was shocked at what she saw. He was crying.
"Sakura, I didn't do anything. I couldn't. I couldn't save her."
"What happened?"
"I just saw her fall, even before, it's like I knew she would fall, but I was frozen and I couldn't do anything. I just stood there and watched her fall. But I ran here as fast as I could, it wasn't that far. I picked her up and carried her, and now they took her into that operating room and I don't want to lose her!" Sakura tried to make sense of Syaoran's tearful ramblings, but found it hard to concentrate when the boy whom she had hardly ever seen show any emotion was crying in front of her.
"It's okay. They'll take care of her. It's not your fault." Sakura uttered the words, which seemed to come from nowhere. Syaoran clung to her, his tears drying on her shirt. She stroked his hair, and listened to his sobs, which were now slowing down. She wished a doctor could come and tell them what was going on.
"Would you two like anything?" Sakura turned around to see a different nurse standing in the doorway, her soft face turned up in a smile. "Juice, water, food? We have a cafeteria downstairs. We can give you some coupons for things while you're waiting." Suddenly Sakura remembered that she hadn't eaten anything all day. The distraction might prove useful in getting Syaoran to collect himself as well. She nodded, getting off the bed and waiting for him to follow her. They followed the nurse as she led to them to nurse's station, and got them coupons for free sandwiches and juice. Sakura took them gratefully, thanking her for her kindness.
"When will someone talk to us? Is she okay?" Sakura was shocked at how shaky her boyfriend's voice was, how insecure and scared he sounded. The nurse laid a hand on his shoulder, and spoke in her softest voice, sympathetic and caring, but not the same childish nature some of the other hospital workers had shown.
"Well, they're still in the operating room. As soon as they finish up, Dr. Mano-san will see you. We'd also like to wait until her parents arrive as well."
"They won't. They're away for the month. Can't be contacted but by foot. You'll still let us know won't you?" The nurse nodded, reassuring Syaoran that no matter who showed up, as soon as the doctors knew anything, he would be the first to know. With this knowledge in hand, he allowed Sakura to take his hand and lead him down to the cafeteria.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"She's not doing well, is she?"
"It's impressive she's still alive at this point. I don't know for how long though. And if she does somehow pull through, I don't know what kind of condition she'll be in. Too early to tell. But there's a likelihood of some major brain damage, memory loss, even loss of control over the limbs. Kid'll probably be in a wheelchair for a good portion of her life. But even that is the best case scenario."
"If you can really call such a thing a best case scenario." The doctors and nurses all murmured their agreement, such a pity, for such a young and pretty girl to be facing that kind of future. They scrubbed up in relative silence, the five hour surgery to relieve the pressure on her brain from blood clots, stop the internal bleeding, and get her skull back together had been mind-numbing. Even now, there was a different team in there, to fix up her smashed teeth, broken jaw and cheekbones, and set her broken arm, and after that, provided she made it, there will still be hours upon hours of plastic surgery. Makes you wonder sometimes if there's even really a point, maybe you should just let them die quickly.
But that wasn't how the medical system operated, and they had done their damndest to see that she would make it as far as possible. But now came the hardest part of all. Doing the surgery, making those cuts and drilling those holes, that was mere childplay when faced with the task of talking to the patients' family. That was the part of the job that he despised the most.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Suddenly the darkness around her seemed to lift, and she saw a tiny light in the distance. She wasn't all that certain if she should reach for it, she had come to find a little peace in the darkness down here. She sat down on the floor, her legs crossed, and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and started to think, tried to remember what had gone on before she found herself here. She couldn't remember, and opened her eyes again, frustrated. She was also growing frustrated at that light from off in the distance. It was shining all over the wall behind her now, almost as though it was searching for her. She could hear the faint sound of what sounded like footsteps. She peered down in front of her, straining to hear.
"Hey, there you are. I've been searching everywhere for you. Why did you take off like that?" She looked up into the face of the girl standing in front of her. She seemed familar, yet she couldn't quite place her. "Come on, let's get going. Wouldn't want to get caught down here." She let herself be pulled up by this girl with honey-brown hair, whose emerald green eyes sparkled. They ran through the dark corridor, following the beam of her flashlight. Eventually they stopped in front of a big door. She watched as the other girl opened it, and gestured for her to step through. "Go on, everyone is eager to see you again." She hesitated, unsure as to whether she should trust this girl. The darkness was so comforting, and so peaceful. But that door did pique her curiousity, and she longed to know what was on the other side.
So she took a deep breath, nodded to the familiar-looking girl, and walked through the door.