Mirrors Multiplied

Part Seven
Weirder and Weirder

by Jared Ornstead

Insert Stolen Disclaimer here.

************************************************

Here we go again...

Oh, yeah. Slight lemon scent.
We know something happens, but it's kept off-screen and we are spared
knowing the details.

*****
Universe B, Home Universe

Cologne had never expected this to happen.
They had come to Japan seeking husbands for the young girls of the
village, to bring back warriors who could assist in the skirmishes
brewing between their tribe and the Chinese government. They had heard
tales of a man using an Amazon power, and had sought him out with intent
to execute the law.
They had stalked him, no easy thing as he moved with the fleetness
of the wind. So they had set a trap.
Before that trap could be sprung they had seen him attacked by tanks
and air vehicles and even larger war machines. More advanced and
powerful relatives of the very devices they most feared would be brought
upon their homes by the People's Army.
And Ranma had defeated them all in titanic and mighty battle.
Cologne had not expected to find *any* warrior of this caliber, she
was sure not many existed, or ever had. They'd spend weeks challenging
dojos and kendo clubs, seeking in vain for warriors of moderate stature.
A special dispensation had even been issued to *deliberately* lose to
modest warriors if no great ones could be found.
They had found a man beyond great.
Tanks and war machines threatened her village, and she had just
found a man proven able to defeat those things. Cologne had even
considered handing over leadership of the tribe to get this young
warrior a part of them. A strong but stupid male could have been
manipulated by subtle words and suggestion, made to think things were
his own ideas.
And none of it turned out to be necessary.
Of all the games Kami-sama had ever played upon her, this had to be
the richest! A warrior of vast skills, a grandmaster of their own craft!
(A thing she'd observed even before he declared it) Well versed in their
ways, even in their law. The boy was practically a member of the tribe
already. All that had remained was to bring him in officially, and that
too had been provided by the spirits. A truly perfect catch. The only
thing that could possibly make it better was if he could already farm.
Well, and if Shampoo could catch him long enough to be defeated by
him.

*****
Random Universe 1

Ranma hung by his toes upside down as he retrieved his mail from the
box at his home. Clutching the raft of letters to his small chest he let
himself fall and bounced to a stop on his bare feet.
A strain, but one he could live with.
Picking up a short stick, he hopped two feet in the air and slapped
closed the door of the box with the end of it. Slinging his stick into
bushes as he left he trotted over to the library, which had a big
well-lit table where Nabiki wouldn't spill juice over his mail.
Nabiki could spill juice over the inside of a locked safe.
It was a game with her, and trying to keep things away from her only
brought out that fierce, problem solving instinct that would later mark
her school years. He had actually witness her climb atop a fridge with a
juice carton in one hand, just to turn a postcard grape colored. No
paper was safe.
This tiny, trotting bundle of letters with two legs crossed roads
with infuriating short lights, but managed to reach the library without
being killed or maimed. He examined his mail.
Not bad. Two magazines had run the articles he'd written, the art
curator was interested in the two-year old artist who had done all these
paintings (he'd been forever hearing about how "my two year old could do
that" but when a two-year old actually submitted something it turned out
to be a credible landscape and a couple of portraits) the newspaper was
sending a reporter by on Thursday and the local radio station had agree
to play his record if he could get it to them by Wednesday latest.
Which, taken together, should cover the next couple of months on the
house. If he was lucky.
If not, he'd apply for some patents.

On his way home Ranma passed under a fence and shimmied with his
backpack under a row of bushes. Cutting across this way would save him
three quarters of an hour and at least one brush with death.
Unfortunately, Ranma had not figured on the older tough kids who
were currently occupying his shortcut.
"Hey, what ya got in the backpack, squirt?"
"What's a little kid like you doing out, anyway? Are you lost?" The
older bully taunted in mock sympathy.
Ranma shook his head. Talking wouldn't endear him to the likes of
these. He began to back away, but the length of their legs made them a
heck of alot faster. His attempt to get away merely amused them.
What they probably wanted was to tousle him a little and make him
cry, which he was in no mood to let them do. He and Akane were due for a
photo shoot later that day for baby products. No bruises were allowed.
With a sigh of resignation he lifted his hands before him, palms
glowing.
"Fierce Tiger Ball, Attack!"
A small blue ball of energy whizzed forth from his hands, streaking
between the older kids and tossing them aside in the wind of its
passage. The building behind the two toughs was reduced to ash and a
tumbling ruin with a shuddering roar. The bullies grimaced in terror.
"Man! It's some kinda alien monster!"
"I'm getting outta here!" Both boys ran away.
Ranma shrugged his backpack and kept walking.

The last major intersection before getting to the
out-of-main-traffic residential streets around the Tendo place was a
killer. It was one of those places where traffic was a little lighter,
heavy but not congested. Which meant that everybody went fast and was in
no mood to wait around.
Ranma jumped up and tagged the pedestrian walk button. He obediently
waited for his light. Pumping his little legs to get out of the kill
zone he saw, out of the corner of his eye, that a big van was making a
rocketing right turn right across him.
No help for it.
He wasn't fast and a jump would only splash him on the windshield,
not get him over or around the vehicle.
"Breaking Point!"
The driver of the van swiftly became a projectile pedestrian as his
vehicle disintegrated out from around him. Tiny shards of metal and
glass rained down across the intersection, which was not unusual for
certain parts of Tokyo, so the drivers paid it little heed except in
their relief that there was not enough of a wreck to slow traffic.

The children were out in the Tendo yard, playing in front of the
dojo, when the Amazons came.
There were dozens of them, armed with every assortment of martial
art weapon imaginable, and dressed in outlandish garb of a multitude of
hues and patterns. They appeared on the wall of the compound, and the
flock of them perched there, looking down in at the children.
Kimiko emerged from the house with a naginata. "What do you want
with us?" She asked the intruders warily. Soun had not returned, and for
weeks she had been the sole protector of the house.
Cologne, perched on the end of her staff, jumped down and addressed
the woman.
"Well, hello young one. My tribe received a formal letter of
challenge from a boy calling himself Ranma Saotome. We have come in
answer to it, and to learn how one so little learned so much about us."
Kimiko looked back over her shoulder at Ranma, dressed in a hand me
down top from Nabiki and one of Akane's jumpsuits. He'd fit in so
seamlessly that she now regarded him as her own.
Almost.
There were those letters and things arriving wanting to give her
money to have photos taken of her children endorsing one product or
other. She was still trying to explain that.
Kimiko had wondered where these strange events started, and if the
child was a part or a result of them. But either way she realized that
she had grown to love him as one of her own.
He spoke. "I am Ranma Saotome, and I did send you a letter of
challenge."
Cologne laid aside her staff and got a look at the boy. "My, my
sonny-boy. You really *are* a young one, aren't you? At first my tribe
would not believe it, that one so young would be able to write that
note. That's why there are so many witnesses. But I was curious. And I
must admit, even I didn't *really* expect you to be two years old."
Ranma bowed to her, and noticed that for the first time that he
could ever recall he stood on a level with her, looking her straight in
the eye.
"My mother gave me my second birthday party, only a day before I
sent you that letter."
Kimiko was looking between them. "Son, *did* you send a letter? You
know how to write?"
Cologne looked up at her. "In fluent Chinese, in the regional
dialect of our tribe, which not more than a few hundred people in this
world know. I must admit I didn't expect to receive a letter written in
it, much less from one so small. So, are *you* his mother?"
Kimiko shook herself, but it didn't help lift her daze. "No. I'm
just taking care of Ranma. His parents are traveling and I'm afraid that
a friend of my husband's left him out to starve. I've never met his
mother but she must be amazing to be able to teach her son so well. Are
you *sure* he can write?"
In answer Ranma took a stick and scratched out on the ground the
characters for his mother's name. It was hard, but he wasn't using paper
so he didn't have to be neat.
Kimiko fainted.
Two Amazons seized her up, catching her before she fell and draping
her not unkindly over the grass. Then, because they were Amazons, they
put her blade staff back in her unconscious hands.
Civilized people are careful to let their neighbors remain decent
and at ease, and to the Amazons weapons are just another part of one's
daily wear. It would be immodest and improper for a lady to be without
them.
"Well, boy. You are amazing. So, just to scratch an old woman's itch
to be curious, why did you call on us?" Cologne asked.
The rest of the Amazons were relaxing in the yard, looking on or
sharpening weapons, generally at ease. Some were even playing with the
Tendo daughters.
Ranma found a lap to sit in. They were the most comfortable
furniture around, he'd discovered. He explained about being left with
Genma, and how the man had stolen all the money he was supposed to live
on. He mentioned his need to keep his family home. Then he went on to
explain that he was a martial artist, and he knew about the Amazon law.
"And just *how* do you know about our laws, child?" Cologne asked.
"You taught me." He replied seriously.
Cologne raised an eyebrow. He could see that he was being asked to
say more. The demand was even a reasonable one.
"I have dreams." He explained. "And in my dreams I'm an old man,
almost sixteen. And I fight with Shampoo and you teach me."
"Hmm, and just what does this Shampoo look like?" Cologne asked.
Ranma looked around himself. "Like her." He said, pointing to a
woman with long green hair. "Except Shampoo's hair is purple and she
turns into a cat when she gets wet. I think she has a Jusenkyo curse."
Cologne met several skeptical eyes, triumphantly. "Well, the lad has
pointed out my granddaughter Perfume, who is indeed the mother of a
purple haired girl. A girl, my great granddaughter, whose name is
Shampoo. He also knows more about our ways than any common outsider. Are
there any who *still* object to this match?"
Surprisingly, it was Perfume. Holding fiercely onto her daughter,
she asked. "And just how do we know this is not some demon, or spirit in
a child's body? Should we not first examine the boy and see whether his
knowledge is natural?"
Attention refocused on Ranma.
He stood there looking cute and puzzled.
Cologne grew wise. "Now, sonny-boy, even *you* can't hide that
there's something unnatural about you. You're far too skilled and wily
for a child twice your age, and with too much knowledge for man a dozen
times that. The steps you've had to take to get us here revealed that.
So why don't you drop this charade and tell us your real origin?"
Ranma put tiny hands on equally tiny hips. "Oh, I *started*
perfectly normal. But that was a long time ago. My first memories are of
a time when I *was* sixteen, having grown up normally and been trained
in the martial arts, just as I've told you. I went on a training trip
through China, where I met many of you and defeated Shampoo in a
tournament. So she chased me forever afterward trying to enforce the
marriage contract.
"Then the master who'd trained my father came by. It turned out he
had a magic mirror he'd stolen from your village a long time ago, a
mirror that let people travel through time. Well, Cologne, who'd come to
help her great granddaughter claim me, fought him for the mirror and it
broke. But the silly old man just reassembled it, and when we tried to
use it after that it flung me into another dimension.
"*There* I got ahold of a Destiny Ring, only I had no idea what it
*did* until I was a couple of lifetimes old. I *finally* had a life
where I'd grown up in your village, and got great grandmother here to
explain it. She even showed me the techniques that allow me to keep a
little more of myself across the realities, so I don't have to
continually retrain in skills I've lost. I was just settling down, after
who knows how many intolerable lives, and then this super-powered bad
guy leaps out of the bushes at my mom's house and blasts me out of that
universe.
"The next thing I know I'm two years old and an evil man is making
off with the money my parents trusted him with. So I *started* perfectly
normal. But I just don't have the liberty of being a kid right now. I
had to find a way to save my family's home."
Even Amazons can be stunned by some things.
The first question was typically a ridiculous one. Perfume asked it.
"Why should my grandmother aid Shampoo? As her mother it should be *my*
duty."
Ranma scuffed the dirt with his the toe of shoe, a pair Kimiko had
bought for him. "You died fighting the Musk dynasty, killed in an ambush
by the ford of whispering stones. That happened in the summer when
Shampoo was four years old. You and four others died before you even
knew what hit you."
Perfume gulped.
Even Cologne was impressed. "I'm tempted to believe your story,
sonny-boy. Just what else can you tell us?"
He told them lots of things. Some of the Amazons set up a firepit
and roasted a meal, others contained the area, then moved inside the
house as dark fell. They put Kimiko to bed, Cologne using a light touch
to insure that she stayed asleep for the evening. The Amazon children
and the Tendo daughters were allowed to play, but without any rough
stuff.
On either side. Akane was mallet happy even as a child.
Ranma finished after a time. He had alot of knowledge but very
little of it was specific to the Amazons. He could tell them about a few
battles, a few of their enemy's weaknesses, and some lost treasures, but
not much else.
And he remembered to stress that realities were different, that
there might be changes that would invalidate any of his remembered tips.

"Well, I *am* impressed." Cologne chuckled when it was over. "Your
memory of things past is accurate, so far as I have knowledge. Which
leads me to believe the rest of your story is true. If even a part of
this information you've given us is correct then we will owe you a great
debt, and gain substantial advantage over our enemies. So child, I'm in
a generous mood. It would be unfair to my granddaughter and her daughter
to allow your challenge fight with her now. But I can suggest an end to
your problem."
Ranma watched her earnestly, but was not so foolish that he allowed
himself to be vulnerable.
"This is not your home reality, that much is obvious. And so far you
have only used the bracelet here once, without a profound effect on our
past, merely putting you back in it. Whoever did this to you does not
understand Destiny Rings very well, or dimensional travel. When people
have a strong home universe they return to it like a boomerang. In
fourteen years a gate would have opened up that would have allowed you
to return to your home. But if we wait then this universe will be
without a Ranma, and I'm beginning to think that a Ranma Saotome is a
very good thing for a universe to have. So I propose a deal."
Ranma was listening.
"Your reality needs you now. I can help you, but I'll need the
Destiny Ring to do it." She had expected his reaction, which was bad.
"Come, sonny-boy. An enemy has already used it against you. If you keep
it it will be used again. I can phrase a wish that will get you out of
here in your default body and one step toward home, while still leaving
us with a Ranma of our own."
"Only a step?"
Cologne smiled. "You *are* clever. If you were to stay I'd have to
marry you to half the girls of our village, just to have a few dozen
children to remember you by. No, son in law, I can only move you a
single step, and your aura suggests that you were moved many. But I
*can* offer you a trade for the item you'll be leaving behind."
The matriarch reached into a distant pocket of her robes, and
brought out a wand with a crystal tip. "This was found by one of my
ancestors many years ago. It is a relic left over from a whole kingdom
that was destroyed by some evil force. The evil turned against itself
and was shattered by its own greed for spoils. When they were gone only
this crystal remained. It was my own great grandmother who mounted it on
the wand. None of us can use it, it's power is too elusive. But if you
would like a trade, I can offer it to you."
As Ranma beheld the device his mind disappeared in a wash of memory.
He waited minutes before he was able to reply. "Yes, great grandmother.
I will take that in trade." He pulled the Destiny Ring out of his pocket
and placed it on the ground, taking the wand in return. "But first let
me recharge this bracelet for you."
"Moon Cosmic Power!"
The Silver Crystal flared with energy, which Ranma directed into the
Destiny Ring, filling it back up to capacity. Then the light faded,
leaving only the glowing crystal of the moon kingdom in Ranma's hand.
He used some residual energy to summon either the moon scepter or
the crescent moon wand. When neither appeared he assumed they'd been
destroyed, and used the remainder of the flare to summon his Earth staff
and place the crystal in its head, a staff which he shrank down to wand
size and returned to weapon space.
He was used to people gaping at him by now.
"That kingdom which died here had survivors in my world. I can use
this. Thank you." He nodded his two year old head to Cologne. "And don't
forget my mother's house, or Genma."
Cologne nodded, very pleased with the lad. "I won't. Are there any
last words of advise before I cast the spell?"
He pondered. "The Kuno family usually has two children, both grow up
to be good warriors, but they'll be driven insane if their parents abuse
them much longer. Could you save them?"
Cologne nodded. "I will do that, son in law. Thank you for all
you've done for us." She began to cast her spell, phrasing a complicated
wish into the ring.

*****
Random Universe 2

With a swirl of rainbow energy Ranma stepped out of the mists onto a
grassy field. Correction, make that a well kept cemetery. He swiftly
checked himself. Every part of him seemed okay, he even had the sword
that his mother always insisted he carry.
With that confirmed he began to look around him. It was a pleasant
place as far as graveyards go. In fact he remembered it. This was the
place where Kimiko was buried in those realities where disease claimed
her.
It was early afternoon, about time for Ukyo's restaurant to be
opening up, if it existed in this universe. He was just about to head
off and look when he caught sight of Ucchan herself. She was walking
with heavy steps, holding a skillet in her hands, her combat spatula
strapped across her back.
With a shrug Ranma started towards her.
Ukyo stopped, she must have caught sight of him, though she didn't
look up. At her feet was a recent grave, one draped with many mementos.
It was almost knee deep in bouquets of black roses.
Aw, man. Had Kuno died? But why was Ucchan upset? Well, maybe she
liked Kuno. Stranger things had happened.
Ukyo knelt, still not facing him, putting down a skillet of
okanomiyaki on the ground. "Here Ran-chan, this is for you. It's your
favorite."
Ranma could smell it, it was! He came up behind her and snatched it
up. "Thanks Ucchan! You really shouldn't have, not that I'm complaining.
It's delicious!"
She rounded on him with fury, then dropped her spatula in shock and
hugged him with enough force to strain his iron ribs. "Ran-chan!"
He was in no condition to breathe. After a few minutes of this he
tapped her gently with a finger. She looked up to see his face turning
blue, and released him with a start. He fell to his knees and began
breathing.
"You Jackass! Why didn't you tell me you were alive? Do you *know*
how much everyone's been worried about you? Here, we've got to get you
home. Everybody's sick with grief. I hope you had a reason for all
this."
"Wait!" He croaked, raising a hand to stop her. But she ignored him,
hauling him up by that arm, which she draped over her shoulder, wrapping
her free hand around his waist.
And he noticed that she was still crying. Dang! She was upset!
"Ucchan, why are you angry with me?"
She dropped him, pointing a furious arm toward the grave. "*That's*
why I'm angry with you, Ranma! How dare you fake your own death like
that! And where'd you get a body to look so realistic, rob a morgue? I
*thought* you were honorable."
He looked at the grave, shocked.
She noticed his reaction and grew gentler. "Hey, Ran-chan. Didn't
you fake your death? It's the only explanation I could think of for you
showing up like that."
He ambled over to the grave, looking at the headstone. "Ucchan, how
did I die?"
She saw how upset he was. "It was just a stupid accident. Something
that happened all the time. You hit your head on a rock in the Tendo's
koi pond and never woke up. Did you stage that?"
He shook his head, and raised his eyes to Ukyo with tear streaked
cheeks.
"Hey, what's up? Why are you so upset?" She put her arms around him
in concern.
He took a deep breath. "Ucchan, I'm Ranma. But I'm not *your* Ranma,
I'm *a* Ranma. I grew up in a different universe. Some guy cast a spell
on me that flung me here. I was just trying to get back. And now I find
out all this has happened."
Her voice quivered. "You mean, you really *did* die?"
Ranma was looking at the grave. "Looks like it."
Suddenly she was quivering in his arms, needing to be held. He
obliged her, feeling a little queasy himself. While they were thus
occupied a memory came to him.
"Hey, Ucchan?"
"Yeah Ran-chan?"
"I think I can do something. Can you help?"
"I don't think I'm up to it, Ran-chan. Can we go somewhere where we
can sit down? For some reason I'm starving and can't bear the thought of
cooking."
"Is the Cat Cafe open?"
"Should be, they weren't going to leave for China for another week
yet."
"Let's call them. Ask them to meet us at the Tendo dojo. I don't
relish going through this explanation more than once."
"Okay."

A trembling Ukyo knocked at the door of the Tendo home. Kasumi let
her in, only an expert being able to tell how drawn and weary the eldest
Tendo girl was. To the ordinary eye she was as bright and angelic as
ever.
Ukyo went into the parlor, seeing the whole household scattered
around haphazardly. "Hey, gang. I called Shampoo and her grandmother to
come over."
Nabiki was droll enough to be harsh. "And why did you do that? And
for that matter what are *you* doing here?"
"Something really interesting happened to me at the cemetery." Ukyo
replied without ire, sitting down.
"Kodachi dragged off by the police again? You'd think she'd at least
get a *permit* for that statue she keeps trying to erect over Ranma."
Half the family winced at the first name, they all showed misery at
the second.
Ukyo didn't reply, joining the uncomfortable silence for the ten
minutes or so it took for the two Amazons to show up.
"I assume there was a reason for calling us here?" Cologne asked.
Ukyo nodded. "Yeah. I saw Ran-chan at the cemetery."
She was viewed with general disgust. "We *all* go to see Ranma at
the cemetery, some of us more often than others." Nabiki favored Genma
with a withering look.
Ukyo shook herself, regaining some brightness. "No, you don't
understand. I saw *Ran-chan* at the cemetery. I was dropping off an
okanomiyaki as an offering and he came up behind me and *ate* it. I
*saw* him. I *held* him. He even wrote me a letter in case you didn't
believe me."
She didn't take it out, the handwriting was too crisp not to cause
complaints, but in spite of that she was beginning to spark some
interest in the others.
"But why would he do that?" Kasumi asked. "If he *is* alive why
didn't he just come home with you?"
A ghost of a smile came to Ukyo's lips. "Because when I saw him I
nearly killed him. First by practically strangling him in a hug, then
nearly beating his brains out for worrying us."
Kasumi put a hand to her lips. "Oh, my. I guess he really could
expect that kind of reaction if he were to come here unannounced."
Akane was glowing with blue fire. "I'm going to *kill* that jerk!
How DARE he worry everybody like this! And to think I was actually sorry
he was GONE!"
"Your reaction is perfectly natural." Ranma's voice sounded through
the room. "It is also perfectly misplaced."
People stared around them wildly. Ranma was not to be found.
His voice answered them. "No, I am not a ghost. I am using
Happosai's inter-dimensional warp technique. Don't be afraid, and don't
be concerned. I will appear in a few moments. I just had to have an
opportunity to explain before everyone began to jump to conclusions."
"AND WHAT'S TO EXPLAIN?!" Akane shouted out, getting really mad.
"You obviously just wanted out of the engagement. Well, **FINE**, as far
as *I'm* concerned OUR ENGAGEMENT NEVER HAPPENED!!!"
"I'm sorry to hear that." The voice replied, completely unaffected.
"But before you make up your mind you may want to hear what happened.
You see, I *did* die. Or at least the Ranma from this universe is dead.
I come from an entirely different one. The first I knew of any of this
was meeting Ukyo in the graveyard."
There was complete and utter silence.
"Oh, come now, Saotome." Nabiki challenged. "You expect us to
believe that?"
"You may believe it, or you may not, as you wish. But I'll ask you
this. Do any of you remember your Ranma ever using the inter-dimensional
warp before? No matter how much he might have benefited from it?"
Ranma filled in the resulting silence by appearing in the room. He
was instantly glomped from a dozen different directions, covered up to
his armpits in family members.
"Oh, my boy! You've come back to us!" Tendo wept, moistening the
others and causing a minor flood.
"Ranma, you *did* come back to us!" Kasumi wept, burying her happy
and shining face in his neck.
"I owe you one for this, Saotome." Nabiki had no explanation for
this, but she suddenly felt an amazing attraction toward this man.
"Sorry sugar." Ukyo apologized. "I just can't help myself."
"Ranma! I'm so SORRY for killing you!!!" Akane bawled from the
prized position around his chest.
"Shampoo so happy!"
"Ah, my boy! Your old man is so proud of you. I'm so glad that
you've come back to carry on the school! Let's hold the wedding this
afternoon!"
Ranma had thankfully tensed for this. "That wouldn't be a good idea.
First of all, in the world I come from you aren't my father, and in the
second place I'm not going to be here much longer, and in the *third*
place you wouldn't like whom I choose to marry."
He gently endured their affection. "Okay. Remember what I said about
being from another universe? Well I am, and I have to go home soon. I
can't stay. But I think I *can* do something about giving *your* Ranma
back to you."
They stared at him numbly, he obviously wasn't getting through.
"Shampoo, forgive me." He took a glass of water and tossed it over
her head. Then picked her up as a cat and began to pet her.
His audience melted like slag, oozing away from him. Then they
noticed he wasn't freaking out.
He scratched Shampoo behind the ears. She purred in wild abandon.
"I found a cure for the Cat Fist. It took the Xi Fang technique to
dull the memory and a few hundred exorcism to clean me out, but I'm
cured." He drew his sword. "Has anyone here seen this blade before? It's
the Saotome family sword. My mother doesn't let me leave home without
it, we have a blood feud going on with Kuno. Look, I can spend all
evening trying to convince you that I'm not *from* this universe. But
you won't believe me because you *want* me to be your Ranma."
He sighed, heated a glass of water with his chi and doused Shampoo
with it. "But I can help you." He continued. "I *may* have the power to
restore life to the dead. I could probably give your Ranma back to you.
But I had to ask you all before I gave it a try."
"But why would we object?" Kasumi asked.
"And what would you have done if I'd just revived him and gone my
merry way? Killed him all over again? *He* wouldn't know what had
happened. And he would be facing all of this without any sort of
explanation. Would you believe him if he tried? I don't remember being
very good at explaining things when I was like him."
Genma tugged at his leg. "Please, Ranma. You've got to be joking.
Just come back to us. All is forgiven. Why don't you marry Akane and
continue the school?"
Ranma tried to tolerate the old man, he failed. "Look Genma, I just
came from a world where I was two years old. You stole the money *my*
family needed to survive and left me in the streets. It kind of soured
me on what *you* want."
Genma cringed away.
Ukyo looked at him in wonder. "So he did it to you too, huh?"
Ranma nodded. "But I posted Cologne a letter and she came and set
things to rights. Plus I talked Mrs Tendo into taking care of me. Say,
there's a thought. Kasumi, has your mother passed away?"
Kasumi nodded a little fearfully.
Ranma grinned disarmingly. "Okay. When I was last talking with a
goddess, she told me all healing is based on love. To be honest I don't
think I love *me* enough to raise one of me from the dead. But you love
your mother very much, don't you?"
Kasumi nodded, still shying skittishly.
He took her gently by the hand. "Then come, Kasumi. Let's go see if
your mother will listen to a call to return from her grave."
They migrated to the graveyard. Ranma got the Tendo family arranged
in a half circle, all concentrating on their lost Kimiko.
Ranma called out his staff. There was a way Sailor Moon would do
this, but he wasn't Sailor Moon. He prayed he didn't screw up. Raising
the staff set with his silver crystal high he called.
"Moon Eternal Power!"
Then, as the energy was gathering around him he lowered the staff,
spinning it in a wide circle and ending with it pointing to the grave.
"Moon Healing Escalation!"
A body appeared on the grass, a white body with pale limbs. Then it
began to breathe.
Ranma collapsed to the grass. Shampoo and Ukyo propped him up
between them. "You do miracle." Shampoo observed.
Ranma tried to nod. It felt like he'd aged a thousand years.
Something was very wrong with the way he was doing this. Cologne
appeared before him.
"I am *very* impressed son in law."
The Tendos were crying over their lost member, now returned to them.
Ranma saw and grinned. "They probably won't stop crying for weeks. I
hope their floor has some waterproofing."
"We should let them alone." Ukyo observed.
Ranma smiled weakly. "Yeah, I'm starved. Anyplace we could go and
eat?"
He was whisked away to the Cat Cafe.

They relaxed at the cafe, bowls of ramen in front of them, the
restaurant closed. Ranma emptied his third bowl.
"Ah, thank you great grandmother. I needed that."
"Anything, son in law. But why do you call me that? You're usually
quite rude." She served him another bowl.
Ranma began feeding it into the pit. "The me who is rude to you
hasn't learned to rely on you like I have. In all the lives I've had, in
all the realities I've visited, no one has been more consistent than
you. You are always wise and frequently kind, and I've never seen you do
anything really foolish. You miscalculate, but even when you screw up
you stay calm about it and just get on with fixing things."
Ukyo wormed her way under his arm. Shampoo got his other side.
Ranma gave them a look and gave up eating. His friends needed
reassurance too badly, so he held them. Actually, he had a problem.
Using the crystal had left lingering aftereffects in his system. He was
beginning to have a raging hormone attack.
"Uh, great grandmother? Do you have anything in your spice cupboard
to *reduce* passion? It's everything I can do not to leap into bed with
someone and do the ecchi until we pass out from fatigue."
Two young maids glittered up at him.
"That's a perfectly normal reaction to using large amounts of life
energy, son in law. Why don't you do it? Shampoo would gladly
accommodate you."
Ukyo would too for that matter.
"I gladly would if I were staying. If I were going to *live* here I
could indeed do that. We'd go upstairs and not come down for weeks. But
I'm not staying, I can't. And the Ranma of this universe would rightly
feel betrayed if I did that and left him to deal with the aftermath."
Cologne spent several minutes appraising him. "You really *have*
learned honor, son in law. But don't you think he would forgive them?
After all, he is getting his life out of the bargain."
Ranma tried to release the two girls, they wouldn't let him. "It
would be a betrayal to do that and leave them. I cannot take them, and I
cannot stay. I know me well enough to know how he'd feel. I couldn't
live with the affection he'd lose for Ukyo and Shampoo because of me."
Cologne sighed. "Yes, son in law, I have something. I'll be right
back with it." She gave him a potion, he drank it. Then his eyeballs
bulged as large as dinner plates.
"That wasn't nice, great grandmother."
"I'm sorry, grandson. But you are too good a prize to miss. Once you
have done what you intend to do you will be obliged to stay."
Ranma's flesh grew hot to the touch and he began sweating, still he
forced himself to his feet. "I'm sorry. But there is no way that I can
remain, even should I wish to. Come along you two. Just, don't touch me.
I beg of you."
Ranma limped out of the Cat Cafe, bent nearly double, pain written
on his features, nearly bursting a blood vessel, leaning on his staff
for support. The girls followed him a few paces behind. He collapsed
halfway to the graveyard. "Carry me the rest of the way." He whispered,
shivering.
Shampoo put her hands on her hips. "No. Husband take wedding spice.
Ranma die if not with bride soon. Bring back dead only make worse, and
no one bring *you* back."
Ranma lay shivering on the ground. "Then I will die."

*****
Universe B, Home Universe

Blue Iczelion let the little goddess finish making the adjustments
to her battle armor. "Are you *sure* the device will work right, Skuld?"

The littlest goddess nodded firmly. "I spent all morning doing the
calculations. It will take you right to him, wherever he is." She looked
up in concern. "It's getting back that I'm worried about. I gave you a
homing beacon, but you still have to jump the universes in between. And
if you lose him this won't work again."
"Just try not to de-bug him again when he gets back." Sailor Mars
said over folded arms.
"Hey! I *said* I was sorry! How was I to know his alternate universe
trace wasn't a malfunction?"
"How indeed?" Urd asked, swirling the pink contents of a small vial.

"Now Skuld," Belldandy placed a tea tray between them. "She's upset
over losing her proposed husband. You're trying to help get him back.
That should make you friends."
Nobody argued with her, probably for the same reasons that no one
could argue with Kasumi.
Skuld stopped looking rebellious, penitently drooping her head
before returning to the last modification. With a cry of joy she
finished and slapped the armor segment closed. Ukyo nodded at it and it
floated up and rejoined her body suit.
Skuld wiped her brow."That should do it. Come back with him, okay?"
Blue Iczelion assured the girl with a smile, then faded from
existence.

*****
Random Universe 2

Ukyo was trapped in the moral dilemma of considering rape of one
Ranma to save another when an armored woman appeared in the air above
them. Shampoo hefted bonbori but was stunned by an idle seeming energy
blast.
"Wow, Ranma. Every time I come after you you're with another woman.
Lucky for you she's always me. Hey, what's wrong?" The Iczelion dropped
out of the sky and landed next to Ranma, looking over him in concern.
"Shampoo's grandmother fed him a passion spice. He's supposed to die
unless he, um..." the non-armored Ukyo blushed to her to toes. "Unless
he has sex with someone. I was just volunteering." Her voice trailed
off, embarrassed.
"Thanks. I'll remember that. Where can I take him?"
"You can take him to my restaurant. There's the spare bedroom."
"Spare bedroom? Do you mean dad's room?"
"Huh? My father still lives with my mom back home."
"Oh. I suppose I should get used to all this. The realities I
normally go to don't have people in them. They're just a convenient
place to fight."
"Will you?"
"Yeah, I'll take care of Ranma honey. He's already proposed to me,
so I guess this just means we're jumping the gun a bit. His mother will
understand." The Iczelion flew off with Ranma clinging to her like a
drowning victim.

Cologne prepared the concoction of herbs and magical ingredients,
carefully stirring a cube of mystical horn as it slowly dissolved.
She felt this Ranma had given her too much credit on a number of
things. She was not always wise, in fact she frequently made herself a
fool, to her own mind at least. As was proved by her miscalculation this
afternoon.
She had assumed this Ranma would react as the old one had. The old
one was stubborn but easily frightened. If he saw all escape cut off but
a single avenue, he would take that way in spite of his protests.
Wedding spice required a certain state, one she could never have
been certain of with the old Ranma, but in the aftereffects of this new
one's victory it had been easy.
And he had drunk it, trusting her absolutely.
Cologne had seen some of that trust die. She could not ever have
guessed how much that pained her. Ranma had trusted her as much as her
own granddaughter Shampoo had ever done, and Cologne had fed him a spice
she'd known would kill him if he failed to give in.
He'd chosen to die instead.
And he'd not spoken a word in anger about it.
He'd even addressed her with respect when he'd known he was dying.
Calling her by a name she would have paid to hear from him.
Great grandmother.
He had known with a surety that she had killed him, and he had
forgiven her even as he'd realized it. He'd gone off to restore her son
in law still loving the adopted parent who had delivered him to death.
Cologne hated herself for it.
That was why this potion was not for him, nor was it for the woman
who'd saved him. No, it had taken Ranma's first death in order for her
to see certain things. Like the reason why his family fought so hard to
sustain him in an engagement too fraught with anger and hurt feelings to
succeed. It was not that they cared for the boy and honestly thought it
was for his best. It was for their own futures. Two fathers who were
desperate to sustain their dream of a long retirement living off the
sweat of a dojo run by their offspring.
Well, Cologne had other remedies for that. If she'd only seen it
sooner she could have spared them all months of agonizing failures.
Ranma was the sole hope of too many families. While he was their sole
hope neither Soun nor Genma would release him.
But if he were not their sole hope?
Genma was a fool. And he probably always would be. If he'd wanted a
dozen arranged marriages for his offspring he should have stopped home
often enough to have the children to fill them. But now was not too late
to start.
With Kimiko restored to the Tendo family it was time they had a son
of their own. Maybe two or three.
It wasn't an ideal solution. They would still want to retire and
live a life a leisure now, not sixteen years from now. But with a new
crop of children on both sides the Tendo and Saotome families could
finally afford to let Ranma slip away, carried by the calamities that
Genma had set in motion.
And Cologne would always be there for him, helping him, building
that trust she'd seen in this stranger who had come bearing Ranma's name
and clothes.
But a wisdom that had put her to shame.
She would shelter and solace her Ranma, aid him in his troubles,
even invoke an unusual tradition and adopt Ukyo as Shampoo's sister.
Forced to choose between an abusive Akane and two of his friends with a
caring mentor...
Patience would win that battle. Time would be on their side, and
they could afford to choose the role of defending him, winning his
affections further. Akane would drift off to another suitor, and one of
those times Ranma would fail to go after her.
But the time to set that in motion was now. Cologne took the pot off
the heat, allowing the mixture to cool. There was nothing more to it
than a powerful fertility formula. She could afford to spice every piece
of food in the Tendo home with it. They would be eating it for months
and never know.
Cologne and Shampoo could even eat with it them. There would be no
danger.

An evening passed.
Ukyo sat on a chair outside her restaurant. She'd pulled out a table
and was sitting in the sun, enjoying some relaxing time.
Also she didn't *dare* open the restaurant with all the noise going
on in there. She spared a glance to the building, dust was shaking out
of cracks in the mortar. She rolled her eyes and wondered, but squashed
the thought firmly. It made her blush too much to wonder about it.
Akane and Kasumi came walking up the street toward her holding
baskets of something. Akane waved.
Ukyo waved back, and shot a nervous glance toward her building. It
seemed to have quieted down. Maybe they wouldn't notice.
"Hi, you two! What brings you round this way?"
Akane hefted her basket. "We've brought some things for Ranma.
Mother is a *great* cook! I can't wait until she starts to teach me."
Kasumi looked like a soul redeemed. Her face was brighter and her
expression more animated than Ukyo had ever seen her. Where before she
had been motherly, now she seemed, well, normal. Like a girl who could
talk and think about boys and maybe even whisper in class.
It was a side of Kasumi Ukyo had never seen before. The world didn't
depend on her being there anymore. Kasumi could relax and be a teenager
again. Ukyo found an instant liking for her. Maybe they could be
friends.
A loud moan issued from the building. Ukyo tried to ignore it. Both
Tendo girls stared at the source of the sound.
"Wow. I wonder what's going on in there." Kasumi asked.
Ukyo found herself going beet red.
"Yeah, Ukyo. That almost sounded like you."
Ukyo *swore* to herself that she would invest in some soundproofing
before she got married.
Both Tendo girls were looking to her for an explanation. Ukyo took a
sip of ice water to wet her throat. "Ran-chan, the one from another
dimension? Well, Cologne fed him some spice that is supposed to kill you
if you don't, well, you know..."
Both girls stared in awe toward the source of the sounds as the
building began to shudder.
"And you mean?"
"The Ukyo from *his* dimension is in there saving his life. Look,
can we talk about this somewhere else? This has been going on since
yesterday."

Bright-eyed, cheerful, and not even a bit disheveled Ranma appeared
at dawn the next day. "Sorry about that." He apologized the baggy-eyed
and tired native Ukyo down in the kitchen. "I guess we must have kept
you up."
He held out a hand, glowing with bright energy. He touched Ukyo and
the marks of lost sleep disappeared from her.
She stretched, feeling grateful. "It's alright, Ran-chan. I just
hope my wedding night will be half as fun."
He smiled. "I'll give Ranma a few pointers, as a wedding gift to
you."
She returned the grin. "Do you really think I'll get him? After all,
*you* may have your head on straight, but he hardly acts like he does."
"I'll tell him I'll go blow up the spring of drowned man if he
doesn't. Either that or threaten to create the spring of drowned
Happosai and dunk him in it a few times."
They shared a laugh.
They cooked, served, and ate breakfast with a background of general
chit chat. "C'mon. Let's go get Shampoo. The two of you can help me
bring lover boy back from his tomb."
Ukyo balked. "Isn't your...?"
He looked at her seriously. "She's sleeping."
"Oh." Ukyo sucked in her lip absently. "And you promise?"
"Yes, I'll let him know how it's done. Shall we go get Shampoo now?"

Ranma, the native Ukyo, and Shampoo joined him at the grave. He
*knew* there had to be a better way to do this, but he just couldn't
think of what that might be, so he repeated the same sequence as before.

A second Ranma joined them on the grass, pale and weak.
And naked.
Multiple-universe Ranma had forgotten that. He took off his shirt
and gave it to his native double. Ukyo produced a blanket and wrapped
him in that.
Blue Iczelion landed next to her Ranma, he leaned into her, wrapping
an arm around her shoulders. "That didn't go well at *all*." He
confided.
Iczelion looked at the small party carrying their newly returned
loved one away. "Sensors say he's okay. Are you sure?"
Shirtless Ranma shook his head weakly. "Not him. Me. I'm going to
have to forbear until I can find an easier way to do this. I've died and
not felt as weak as I do now. Add to that..."
Iczelion nodded, agreeing. "Yeah, I know sugar." A grin. "*Believe*
me, I know."
He stabilized himself, looking at his companion. "Can I borrow one
of your shirts? I didn't bring any extras."
Ukyo nodded, pulling out a blue silk blouse. "Hey, this way you're
even color coded. I can tell which Ranma is mine without having to
question him all evening." She leaned back into him. "And I can think of
*such* better things to do with our time."
He hugged her, tired but happy. "Well, I may have to adopt this as
my color of choice." He lifted his eyes to look into hers. "Say, how
much time have we got?"
She shrugged. "Belldandy said that it didn't matter. She and the
other goddesses of time would slow their universe until we returned."
He nodded. "Good. I made a promise to native Ucchan. Let's spend a
day here."

To Be Continued...

************************************************
************************************************

Author's Notes:

B - flat, F - sharp, and a little, trilling harp song.

Many thanks to all my pre-readers, whom I have thoroughly annoyed by
having no less than half of this bear no resemblance at all to the parts
they read.
Fear not, cut parts will get included later, along with corrections
no less.