"Oh Mother, would you just look at this dress? Would you just look?!"
Honestly, I don't understand her at all. I never understood her when we were younger, I don't understand her now, and I don't suppose I ever will! Ever since I moved in with the Jacobs family, all I've ever heard out of Sarah's mouth are pointless complaints and whining.
"I can't wear this dress to Irving Hall! It's much too old-fashioned and ugly!"
I looked at my cousin with a perplexed expression on my face. What was her problem?! I would have given anything to have what she had. I didn't see any valid reason for her to complain. Jack loved her and she had everything I thought she could possibly need. . .and she was complaining?
"There's a stain on the bodice! What do you suppose Jack would think if he saw me wearing this? Good Lord, what would the other boys think?!"
I continued to stare at Sarah incredulously as I silently asked her, Why do you even care? JACK LOVES YOU! Don't you get it? He loves you enough to not care whether or not you dress like some Uptown girl. Goodness, Sarah why do you even care what the other boys think of you? Do they actually matter?
"Sarah, the stain is barely noticeable," Auntie Esther sighed. "If you wear a shawl, the stain will practically disappear."
"But the fabric is such an ugly color!" Sarah whined.
SARAH JUST SHUT UP! I silently screamed at her. If you absolutely refuse to let Jack see you in that dress, why don't you just hand it over to me and I'll go with him? How's that for an idea, Sarah?! Do you think you can handle that? Would it be alright if he left you alone for one night to give me a chance?!
"Well. . .Sarah, just try it on! I can assure you it will look fine," Auntie Esther pleaded once again.
"Mother. . .!" Sarah whined. Auntie Esther shot her a cross look, causing her to give up her end of the argument. Grumbling to herself, Sarah stomped off to our room to try the dress on.
Once she had left, Auntie Esther focused her attention to me and sighed. "Lauren, you don't suppose Sarah is overreacting a bit, do you? I mean, for the past ten minutes she's been doing nothing but complaining and whining."
I returned my aunt's exasperated look and silently thought to myself, For the past ten minutes, you say? It's more like for the past TEN YEARS! "I do believe that she has nothing to worry about," I said sympathetically. "I can't imagine why she would work herself up over a silly dress. . .not that it's as ugly as she says it is, mind you, dear aunt."
"Well, since she is seeing Jack tonight, I suppose it would make sense that she'd want to look her best," Auntie Esther replied.
"What does that matter?" I asked. "Since when did Jack actually care how Sarah's dress looked? It's not like they were planning to eat dinner at an Uptown restaurant. No. . .for them, tonight is merely another evening at one of Medda's shows!" As those words slipped out of my mouth, I began to ask myself if I even knew what I was saying. ". . .For them, tonight is merely another evening at one of Medda's shows!" Or perhaps tonight could be one of the most romantic evenings of their lives. Maybe tonight is the night that something life-altering will happen. Maybe tonight will shatter my own life even more. Who knows? Maybe tonight Jack will ask her to run off to Santa Fe with him so they could get married.
I was overreacting; I knew I was. However, the fact that I knew I was overreacting (probably even worse than Sarah was) did not stop me from filling my head with more absurd thoughts. Maybe Jack doesn't even know I exist. Absurd. All of this, so absurd! Of course he knew that I existed. I'm his girlfriend's cousin. Yes, that's it. . .his GIRLFRIEND'S COUSIN. I exist. He knows my name. He knows who I am. . .but he doesn't know me. He never will, ever. If only. . .
"See Mother?! See how hideous this dress is?" Sarah groaned as she walked towards us again.
I couldn't help myself. I glared at my cousin and rolled my eyes, not caring that she had seen me do it. Sarah's jaw dropped open in shock as she took a tiny step back. "What's the matter with you?!" she asked irritably.
"Nothing," I replied coolly. "Nothing at all. You look pretty." For a moment, nobody said anything. I glanced over at Auntie Esther and noticed that she was fidgeting uneasily in her seat. She obviously had no idea what to do with two adverse cousins. For what seemed like an eternity, Sarah gave me an icy glare, one that I returned with an unaffected and reserved air. I honestly believe that if there had not been a knock on the door that very instant, one of would have reached for Auntie Esther's sewing shears and killed the other.
"Oh. . .someone is at the door," Auntie Esther stated unnecessarily as she quickly rose from her seat. "Sarah, I am certain that it is Jack."
It was all I could do to stifle my giggles as Sarah's scowl fell from her face, only to be replaced by a look of pure embarrassment. She dashed into our room like a madwoman, emerging only a moment later with a shawl draped over her shoulders, just as Auntie Esther opened the door, letting Jack in. I just couldn't help myself. I flashed Sarah a scornful grin, acknowledging the simple fact that her creamy yellow dress with the purple collar and hem did not look very attractive with the mint green shawl she had picked out.
Unfortunately, my moment of glory was short-lived. It ended right when Jack opened his mouth and said, "Ya look beautiful." Then it was my turn to wipe the contemptuous expression off my face. Sarah adjusted her shawl and gave me one final smirk for the evening, as if she had won some kind of contest. This of course, seemed incredibly stupid. Tell me, dear cousin Sarah, because I am quite curious: what exactly did you win? Did you think that I was trying to compete with you for Jack's attention? Is he nothing to you but a prize you have won?
"Don't stay out too late," Uncle Mayer, who had kept quite this whole time, advised.
"We won't Papa," Sarah answered, just before the door shut behind them. With that, I stormed off into Sarah's and my room, and shut the door behind me. Stupid I thought, all of this, so stupid! He didn't even bother to say hello to me. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I simply did not care.
Honestly, I don't understand her at all. I never understood her when we were younger, I don't understand her now, and I don't suppose I ever will! Ever since I moved in with the Jacobs family, all I've ever heard out of Sarah's mouth are pointless complaints and whining.
"I can't wear this dress to Irving Hall! It's much too old-fashioned and ugly!"
I looked at my cousin with a perplexed expression on my face. What was her problem?! I would have given anything to have what she had. I didn't see any valid reason for her to complain. Jack loved her and she had everything I thought she could possibly need. . .and she was complaining?
"There's a stain on the bodice! What do you suppose Jack would think if he saw me wearing this? Good Lord, what would the other boys think?!"
I continued to stare at Sarah incredulously as I silently asked her, Why do you even care? JACK LOVES YOU! Don't you get it? He loves you enough to not care whether or not you dress like some Uptown girl. Goodness, Sarah why do you even care what the other boys think of you? Do they actually matter?
"Sarah, the stain is barely noticeable," Auntie Esther sighed. "If you wear a shawl, the stain will practically disappear."
"But the fabric is such an ugly color!" Sarah whined.
SARAH JUST SHUT UP! I silently screamed at her. If you absolutely refuse to let Jack see you in that dress, why don't you just hand it over to me and I'll go with him? How's that for an idea, Sarah?! Do you think you can handle that? Would it be alright if he left you alone for one night to give me a chance?!
"Well. . .Sarah, just try it on! I can assure you it will look fine," Auntie Esther pleaded once again.
"Mother. . .!" Sarah whined. Auntie Esther shot her a cross look, causing her to give up her end of the argument. Grumbling to herself, Sarah stomped off to our room to try the dress on.
Once she had left, Auntie Esther focused her attention to me and sighed. "Lauren, you don't suppose Sarah is overreacting a bit, do you? I mean, for the past ten minutes she's been doing nothing but complaining and whining."
I returned my aunt's exasperated look and silently thought to myself, For the past ten minutes, you say? It's more like for the past TEN YEARS! "I do believe that she has nothing to worry about," I said sympathetically. "I can't imagine why she would work herself up over a silly dress. . .not that it's as ugly as she says it is, mind you, dear aunt."
"Well, since she is seeing Jack tonight, I suppose it would make sense that she'd want to look her best," Auntie Esther replied.
"What does that matter?" I asked. "Since when did Jack actually care how Sarah's dress looked? It's not like they were planning to eat dinner at an Uptown restaurant. No. . .for them, tonight is merely another evening at one of Medda's shows!" As those words slipped out of my mouth, I began to ask myself if I even knew what I was saying. ". . .For them, tonight is merely another evening at one of Medda's shows!" Or perhaps tonight could be one of the most romantic evenings of their lives. Maybe tonight is the night that something life-altering will happen. Maybe tonight will shatter my own life even more. Who knows? Maybe tonight Jack will ask her to run off to Santa Fe with him so they could get married.
I was overreacting; I knew I was. However, the fact that I knew I was overreacting (probably even worse than Sarah was) did not stop me from filling my head with more absurd thoughts. Maybe Jack doesn't even know I exist. Absurd. All of this, so absurd! Of course he knew that I existed. I'm his girlfriend's cousin. Yes, that's it. . .his GIRLFRIEND'S COUSIN. I exist. He knows my name. He knows who I am. . .but he doesn't know me. He never will, ever. If only. . .
"See Mother?! See how hideous this dress is?" Sarah groaned as she walked towards us again.
I couldn't help myself. I glared at my cousin and rolled my eyes, not caring that she had seen me do it. Sarah's jaw dropped open in shock as she took a tiny step back. "What's the matter with you?!" she asked irritably.
"Nothing," I replied coolly. "Nothing at all. You look pretty." For a moment, nobody said anything. I glanced over at Auntie Esther and noticed that she was fidgeting uneasily in her seat. She obviously had no idea what to do with two adverse cousins. For what seemed like an eternity, Sarah gave me an icy glare, one that I returned with an unaffected and reserved air. I honestly believe that if there had not been a knock on the door that very instant, one of would have reached for Auntie Esther's sewing shears and killed the other.
"Oh. . .someone is at the door," Auntie Esther stated unnecessarily as she quickly rose from her seat. "Sarah, I am certain that it is Jack."
It was all I could do to stifle my giggles as Sarah's scowl fell from her face, only to be replaced by a look of pure embarrassment. She dashed into our room like a madwoman, emerging only a moment later with a shawl draped over her shoulders, just as Auntie Esther opened the door, letting Jack in. I just couldn't help myself. I flashed Sarah a scornful grin, acknowledging the simple fact that her creamy yellow dress with the purple collar and hem did not look very attractive with the mint green shawl she had picked out.
Unfortunately, my moment of glory was short-lived. It ended right when Jack opened his mouth and said, "Ya look beautiful." Then it was my turn to wipe the contemptuous expression off my face. Sarah adjusted her shawl and gave me one final smirk for the evening, as if she had won some kind of contest. This of course, seemed incredibly stupid. Tell me, dear cousin Sarah, because I am quite curious: what exactly did you win? Did you think that I was trying to compete with you for Jack's attention? Is he nothing to you but a prize you have won?
"Don't stay out too late," Uncle Mayer, who had kept quite this whole time, advised.
"We won't Papa," Sarah answered, just before the door shut behind them. With that, I stormed off into Sarah's and my room, and shut the door behind me. Stupid I thought, all of this, so stupid! He didn't even bother to say hello to me. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I simply did not care.