Sermons from the Church of Orochi- part three.
After the death of three worshippers, the Holy Rollin' Goenitz decides it's time to move to a more positive side to the Orochi message.
Goenitz- And now brethren. Comes the time when I share with you a story. A true tale of the Children of Orochi. Gimme an Amen!
Chris- Oh no! Not another fucking "Children of Orochi" story. They suck.
Shermie- Yeah. He pretends to read through that phone book, whilst making up some shitty story that makes no sense.
Goenitz goes up to the "Book of Orochi", a badly disguised Southtown phone book. He opens it on the weird sex stuff pages, whilst trying to form a story for his flock in his head.
Goenitz- Once upon a time, true beleivers. Back in nineteen ninety... uhh something. Dates don't much matter, Orochi is eternal...
Chris- Just admit there's no story. Again.
Goenitz- Quiet! Do you want me to summon the power of our lord to destroy you!?
Chris- I dare you, you old fart.
The Holy Rollin' Goenitz carries on with his improvised story for the masses.
Goenitz- Anyway, the Children of Orochi all entered a fighting tournament called the King of Fighters...
Shermie- And we all lost badly, due to an incompetent old geriatric leading us! The end.
Goenitz is furious at the constant interruptions. He turns angrily to Shermie and Chris.
Goenitz- DAMMIT! It's weak, heathen like you who got our arses kicked in KOF!
Yashiro- Leave my partners alone!
Goenitz- And you're no better either!
Yashiro- Shut up! I've got the M60.
Goenitz summons a tornado, which destroys the gun, and knocks Yashiro from the balcony. He lands hard.
Goenitz- I'm surrounded by unbeleivers! You guys interrupting the message, Mature not even bothered to show up, again. When our lord Orochi arrives, all unbelievers will suffer painful everlasting doom caued by hellfire, sharp objects, Adam Sandler movies, whilst I the Holy Rollin' Goenitz sit in the lap of luxury laughing at you all! HA HA HA...
This mad ranting is interrupted by a crash through the window. Heidern and Leona swing through, action hero style on ropes.
Heidern- Alright Goenitz! Give yourself up! Come quietly and maybe we won't have to injure you this time.
Goenitz(playing up for the camera)- Ah ha! The Dark One has arrived! With the traitor to the Orochi cause!
Heidern(to Leona)- What's he on about?
Leona- He's convinced that you're the Devil. And that I'm some sort of Judas.
Heidern- Right. I see why you quit this cult. Where's Ralf by the way?
Leona- He went over to Mature's place. Something about a "Party of Five" marathon. Said they were showing the one where Neve Campbell looks sexy, and Jenifer Love Hewitt talks in an annoying voice.
Heidern- That could be any episode.
Goenitz- Enough! Let the final battle of good, represtented by the Holy Rollin' Goenitz versus evil portrayed by the demonic Heidern! Come, my children, that's you three CYS, aid me in the Lord Orochi's work! Gimme a Hail Goenitz!
Chris, Shermie and Yashiro all look at each other for a minute. They then join Heidern and Leona, and all five jump in and rush the bizzare wannabe preacher. Goenitz is hurt pretty badly by loads of punches, kicks and various special moves.
Goenitz- AAH! That's not fair! My children are traitors! OWW! Not my balls, please WAAH! Blasphemous sinners! AIIEE!
This vicious beating goes on for a good twenty minutes before Heidern finally finishes him with a "Final Bringer" DM, which seriously weakens him.
Goenitz- My lord has abandoned me! Well FUCK YOU Orochi! I hope the rest of your worshippers convert to the Athenaism faith!
Chris- Shouldn't have said that. Orochi's gonna be pissed.
Goenitz- Who cares, I... AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The power of Orochi himself comes down and engulfs the Holy Rollin' Goenitz, destroying him. There's just a skeleton in a charred suit.
Leona- At least we don't have to bother giving him to the Southtown Police department. There too soft on criminals.
CYS(all together happy)- The crazy old bastard's dead! HOORAY! Thanks Orochi!
Yashiro- Now, let's go loot all his money and drugs.
CYS- YEAH!
They leave to steal from the late Goenitz. Heidern tries to call Ralf, to tell him he's in deep shit for missing a mission. The only response from the other end are male and female voices, shouting and moaning in pure 100% pleasure. They've obviously lost interest in "Party of Five".
That concludes the Sermons of the Holy Rollin' Goenitz. And remember, the first two letters of Orochi spell "OR". The late preacher would like you to think about that.
After the death of three worshippers, the Holy Rollin' Goenitz decides it's time to move to a more positive side to the Orochi message.
Goenitz- And now brethren. Comes the time when I share with you a story. A true tale of the Children of Orochi. Gimme an Amen!
Chris- Oh no! Not another fucking "Children of Orochi" story. They suck.
Shermie- Yeah. He pretends to read through that phone book, whilst making up some shitty story that makes no sense.
Goenitz goes up to the "Book of Orochi", a badly disguised Southtown phone book. He opens it on the weird sex stuff pages, whilst trying to form a story for his flock in his head.
Goenitz- Once upon a time, true beleivers. Back in nineteen ninety... uhh something. Dates don't much matter, Orochi is eternal...
Chris- Just admit there's no story. Again.
Goenitz- Quiet! Do you want me to summon the power of our lord to destroy you!?
Chris- I dare you, you old fart.
The Holy Rollin' Goenitz carries on with his improvised story for the masses.
Goenitz- Anyway, the Children of Orochi all entered a fighting tournament called the King of Fighters...
Shermie- And we all lost badly, due to an incompetent old geriatric leading us! The end.
Goenitz is furious at the constant interruptions. He turns angrily to Shermie and Chris.
Goenitz- DAMMIT! It's weak, heathen like you who got our arses kicked in KOF!
Yashiro- Leave my partners alone!
Goenitz- And you're no better either!
Yashiro- Shut up! I've got the M60.
Goenitz summons a tornado, which destroys the gun, and knocks Yashiro from the balcony. He lands hard.
Goenitz- I'm surrounded by unbeleivers! You guys interrupting the message, Mature not even bothered to show up, again. When our lord Orochi arrives, all unbelievers will suffer painful everlasting doom caued by hellfire, sharp objects, Adam Sandler movies, whilst I the Holy Rollin' Goenitz sit in the lap of luxury laughing at you all! HA HA HA...
This mad ranting is interrupted by a crash through the window. Heidern and Leona swing through, action hero style on ropes.
Heidern- Alright Goenitz! Give yourself up! Come quietly and maybe we won't have to injure you this time.
Goenitz(playing up for the camera)- Ah ha! The Dark One has arrived! With the traitor to the Orochi cause!
Heidern(to Leona)- What's he on about?
Leona- He's convinced that you're the Devil. And that I'm some sort of Judas.
Heidern- Right. I see why you quit this cult. Where's Ralf by the way?
Leona- He went over to Mature's place. Something about a "Party of Five" marathon. Said they were showing the one where Neve Campbell looks sexy, and Jenifer Love Hewitt talks in an annoying voice.
Heidern- That could be any episode.
Goenitz- Enough! Let the final battle of good, represtented by the Holy Rollin' Goenitz versus evil portrayed by the demonic Heidern! Come, my children, that's you three CYS, aid me in the Lord Orochi's work! Gimme a Hail Goenitz!
Chris, Shermie and Yashiro all look at each other for a minute. They then join Heidern and Leona, and all five jump in and rush the bizzare wannabe preacher. Goenitz is hurt pretty badly by loads of punches, kicks and various special moves.
Goenitz- AAH! That's not fair! My children are traitors! OWW! Not my balls, please WAAH! Blasphemous sinners! AIIEE!
This vicious beating goes on for a good twenty minutes before Heidern finally finishes him with a "Final Bringer" DM, which seriously weakens him.
Goenitz- My lord has abandoned me! Well FUCK YOU Orochi! I hope the rest of your worshippers convert to the Athenaism faith!
Chris- Shouldn't have said that. Orochi's gonna be pissed.
Goenitz- Who cares, I... AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The power of Orochi himself comes down and engulfs the Holy Rollin' Goenitz, destroying him. There's just a skeleton in a charred suit.
Leona- At least we don't have to bother giving him to the Southtown Police department. There too soft on criminals.
CYS(all together happy)- The crazy old bastard's dead! HOORAY! Thanks Orochi!
Yashiro- Now, let's go loot all his money and drugs.
CYS- YEAH!
They leave to steal from the late Goenitz. Heidern tries to call Ralf, to tell him he's in deep shit for missing a mission. The only response from the other end are male and female voices, shouting and moaning in pure 100% pleasure. They've obviously lost interest in "Party of Five".
That concludes the Sermons of the Holy Rollin' Goenitz. And remember, the first two letters of Orochi spell "OR". The late preacher would like you to think about that.