Disclaimer: As we all know by now, Harry Potter is the creation of J.K. Rowling. The lyrics at the beginning are from the 12 Stones song "Broken", hence the name of the chapter. So basically, as usual, I don't own anything!
A/N: Hi, this is my first HP fic. I wasn't planning on posting it just yet, but I couldn't help myself! I don't know how good it is, it's been a while since I've written and any fics, and as I said, this is a new fandom for me (fanfiction wise I mean) so it might be a bit...err...scetchy? I dunno, I'm just not sure how well it turned out. Let me know, ok?
Umm...just a quick note on the plot here, this chapter involves Harry getting abused by the Dursleys, which I know has been done a thousand times over, but let me assure you, that this is not what this fic is about. That's just set up for the rest of it, so...err...yeah...just thought I'd let you know before you run away screaming about newbie HP authors and overused plots! Especially since it opens most generically with Harry waking up from a nightmare...Oops! All right, I'm done for now. Please r/r I hope it's ok! *Crosses fingers*
***
The Edge of Forever
Chapter One: Broken
***
~All this fear holding me. My heart is cold and I believe, nothing's gonna change...until I'm broken~
It was well after midnight when Harry awoke. Emerald eye's snapping open in horror and surprise, it was all he could do not to cry out. His breathing was shallow and quick, the boy's thin frame visibly trembling in the wan moonlight. A cold sweat had settled over the his body, plastering his unruly hair to his dampened forehead. And on that forehead his scar was searing with the most unusual kind of pain. A pain so strange that if he were asked to describe it his reply would make no sense whatsoever. It was like being on fire while shivering desperately in a frigid winter breeze, and though his head was surely capable of splitting at any given second, Harry found the pain almost tolerable.
Perhaps it was because he had already experienced such pain at it's worst, but it was still strange for him to be able find any composure under the circumstances. The pain was different this time. It wasn't quite as bad as when Voldemort was near but at the same time it was worse than when he killed. This pain was new. What could that possibly mean...?
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Harry tried to remember the dream he'd been having before he'd so abruptly woken up, but everything was a complete blur to him, and he found it quite impossible to make anything out. He didn't like it. His dreams were always a bit fuzzy, but from this one he could remember nothing, and to wake up in such a state without any idea why...No, he didn't like this at all!
As though out of habit his head snapped in the direction of Hedwig's cage. He had to owl Dumbledore immediately! Maybe then he could make some sense of things. But it wasn't until that very moment that he remembered the one thing that could possibly complicate matters more.
Hedwig's cage was empty. His post owl wasn't there.
Harry sighed deeply, biting down on his lower lip in bewilderment. It had only been a few short hours ago that he'd sent her off with letters for Ron and Hermione, and Hermione was on vacation right now. Hedwig wouldn't be back for days! Now he really didn't like this. But what could he do about it now? Nothing, that's what! He felt so helpless just then.
But perhaps he was imagining things, he tried to convince himself. The pain in his scar had already dissipated into a gentle throb. Maybe the dream meant nothing. But still...
There was nothing he could do right now, he reassured himself firmly. He'd just have to wait a few days until Hedwig returned. There was nothing more that could be done. He might as well get some sleep, it would, after all, make the time go faster.
But Harry should have known right then that he wasn't going to sleep easily that night, or the next for that matter. He should have known that things couldn't possibly be that simple.
***
Harry flipped the bacon sleepily, watching dully as it sizzled on the hot skillet before him. The pain in his scar had completely disappeared by now, the fact that there had even been a dream just a distant and fuzzy memory. Though he was still a bit worried by it he knew that there was little he could do before Hedwig was back and he was doing everything in his power to keep his mind on other things. Even if that meant aiding in the destruction of Dudley's so called diet.
After Harry had gone with the Weasley's last summer his cousin's 'diet' had become a total joke. Apparently there'd been a news report on one night about how eating a lot could actually make one *lose* weight. Harry hadn't heard exactly how it worked, but it definitely didn't seem to be working now! Dudley had surely become larger around than an adult hippopotamus, and yet when anyone even came close to stating so Aunt Petunia insisted incessantly that her handsome little boy was merely stimulating his metabolism. What this so called metabolism she kept going on about was, Harry wasn't sure. He'd long ago come to the conclusion that Dudley didn't have any metabolism to speak of.
As far the downfall of his cousin's diet was concerned however, Harry really couldn't complain. If Dudley was eating again, that meant that the rest of the family could eat as well. Not that his own meager meals were anything to brag about, but anything was better than munching on celery and grapefruit everyday. Harry was happy to know that at least one of the strips of bacon he was frying had his name on it. How pathetic!
"Aren't you done with that yet, boy?" Uncle Vernon asked him impatiently from the table. Harry just sighed, he'd only started cooking a couple of minutes ago, what the hell did he expect? Luckily Harry was able to close his mouth before his thought's formed into words, only letting his shoulders slump as a tiny frown appeared on his face. It was getting harder and harder for him to keep his composure around the Dursleys. They really hadn't been *that* much worse since he'd come back this year--except maybe for Dudley, who was still quite bitter about the whole Ton Tongue Toffee incident--but he wasn't exactly the same boy he'd been when he'd left last summer either.
It wasn't at all improbable that he'd act a little differently after what he'd been through. As a result he'd been much quieter this summer, which the Dursleys didn't seem to mind in the least. Of course that gave Dudley and Uncle Vernon an entirely new way to torture him--See which one could make him crack first. The two of them seemed to be going out of their way to irritate him, more so than usual. Harry was pretty sure that they had a bet going to see how long it would take him to fight back, and if he didn't get a grip soon they wouldn't have to wait much longer to declare a winner.
"Well?" His uncle asked again, glaring at the boys back. "Are we going to eat or what?!"
Harry just nodded stiffly, pulling out a plate for the bacon. What the hell did he mean were they going to eat? They already *were* eating! Dudley, for one, had already devoured both his and Harry's eggs and toast, and Uncle Vernon hadn't exactly left room for much more either. What more did they want from him?
He turned around slowly, trying to keep the look on his face a little more neutral as he headed for the table. But it was at that very moment that the all but forgotten pain in his scar chose to come back, and it came back with a vengeance. Harry bit down on his lip to keep himself from crying out, squeezing his eye's shut tightly as pain flowed steadily from his from his forehead.
"Dad, what's wrong with him? What's he doing?" Dudley looked very frightened indeed, the look on his piggy face suggesting that Harry's current predicament might actually have some kind of negative effect on himself.
Uncle Vernon jumped from his seat immediately, placing his strong hands on the boy's shoulders and shaking him lightly. "What the hell are you doing, boy?!"
What was he doing? What was he doing? He wasn't doing anything, he was just standing there, trying to keep himself from giving into the considerable pain threatening to split his head in two! But as his Uncle gave another shake, his head lolling slightly back and forth, the pain finally overwhelmed him, and just as his teeth were beginning to draw blood from his lower lip, his mouth fell open in blood curdling scream.
The last thing he heard was the shattering of china against tile and the far away shouts of his angered uncle as he crumbled to the floor.
***
Harry opened his eye's in surprise, blinking several times, to see his purple faced uncle glaring down at him. He looked ready to kill. Dudley's round face swam slowly into his vision, the grin crossing the boy's visage blurred and far away. Aunt Petunia merely stared down bewildered at the shattered plate of bacon.
The pain in his scar had dulled considerably, but the experience was still a bit disorienting. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly in confusion when he found his lips wet. In fact, his whole upper body was wet! It took him a moment to realize that the smile on his cousin's face wasn't only because of Harry's peculiar predicament, but also most definitely had something to do with the empty jug of water clutched in his fat right hand.
"W-What..." He stuttered bewildered.
"He fainted!" Dudley suddenly burst out laughing, chewing merrily on a fatty piece of bacon he picked up off the floor.
"Faint-fainted...I...what?"
"You fainted!" He said with a look close to triumph spreading across his piggy face. "Look at him! Just like a-"
"What the hell was that?!" Uncle Vernon cut his son off, he didn't exactly look concerned.
"I...My scar." Harry managed to get out as his vision finally came back into complete focus. His scar? What the hell *had* happened to him?! He hadn't been in that much pain since...since his encounter with Voldemort!
"I have to owl Dumbledore!" He shouted suddenly, attempting to push himself into a sitting position, and failing miserably when his hand slipped on the slick floor.
"What's this nonsense?" Uncle Vernon demanded angrily, glaring daggers at his nephew.
"Dumbledore!" Harry exclaimed all but deliriously. "My headmaster! He told me to owl him if my scar hurt!" And then suddenly remembering Hedwig's absence, Harry blurted out quite possibly the dumbest thing he could ever say in front of his uncle. "I have to get to Hogwarts!"
And that was it.
Had Harry not been on the floor already, he'd surely be there now. Crying out in shock and pain, Harry's head hit the hard tile beneath him before he even felt his uncle's hand on his cheek. Was up against the wall before he realized he was standing, his uncle's eye's positively boiling over with rage. "WHAT?" He screamed, slamming the boy back roughly against the hard plaster.
"I mean my school!" Harry shouted suddenly, realizing his mistake all to late. "I meant-"
"I don't care what you MEANT" Uncle Vernon yelled down at the boy, obviously furious. "I told you never to speak of that...FREAK school in this house! NEVER!"
"I'm sorry!" What more could he say? Still his uncle didn't relent, wrapping his hands around the boys neck and slamming him again. This time Harry's head hit dangerously hard, and he threatened to lose consciousness for the second time that morning. Obviously he'd gone to far this time. To first, cry out like that--what if the neighbors heard?--and then to collapse--an obvious side effect of his 'abnormality'--shatter his aunt's good china *and* ruin breakfast all at once! Under normal circumstances such act's would certainly have earned him the full summer locked away in his room, a good smack upside the head and countless beating's from his cousin's smelting stick, but that hadn't been all he'd done just then. On top of everything he'd broken the golden rule of survival among the Dursleys--NEVER mention anything having to do with magic. From the looks of it all he'd finally made his uncle snap. Oh, he was in for it now.
"I'm sorry!" He screamed again, desperation starting to creep into his voice as he gasped for breathe. "Let go!" He cried, trying to push the much larger man away. He knew it was a loosing battle, but he had to do something. "Let me the hell go!" But his uncle continued to shake his forcefully, pressing his thumbs more firmly into his nephew's throat, that awful look of rage never fading from his face.
'Oh God! He's going to kill me!'
The frown on Harry's frightened face deepened in bewilderment as the full weight of that statement began to sink in. His uncle was going to kill him...He nearly laughed just then despite it all. After all that he'd been through, after all the run ins he'd had with Voldemort and lived to tell about, after everything that he'd endured, his UNCLE was going to kill him. Somehow that just didn't seem fair.
Yet here he was, dangling as helpless as a discarded rag doll in his uncle's firm grip, the simple task of getting his footing all but impossible. And all the while his scar burned dully and his head ached. This wasn't right. It just wasn't right! He couldn't let it end this way.
It was out of utter desperation that Harry began feebly kicking at his uncle's legs, and it was out of sheer luck that he connected sharply with the enraged man's ankle. Uncle Vernon cried out in pain, dropping Harry so suddenly that the boy again tumbled to the floor. This time however he struggled rather quickly to his feet, ignoring the incessant pounding in his head as he raced out of the kitchen.
When he got to the staircase however he stopped for a moment, considering his options. He couldn't go up to his room now, not if he really wanted to escape his uncle's wrath. He couldn't stay in that house another minute! And so, he rushed to the front door, throwing it open with such a force that it nearly flew off of it's hinges. He had to get away! Had to get out of that house!
However, the prospect looked rather bleak as he felt a strong hand on his shoulder, dragging him back into the dimly lit foyer.
"No! Let me go!" The boy screamed, flailing his arms and legs as he struggled to break free of his uncle's iron grip. If he'd had his wand on him he would have cursed the man fifty times over, despite the ministry's warning. Despite the fact that Hogwarts was his only real escape form this house. If they kicked him out, he'd simply run away or go live with Ron or someone until Sirius was cleared. Sirius was the only one who could get him away from this madness, and he had to get away!
Harry gasped in pain as his uncle's fist suddenly collided with his lower abdomen, tearing him out of his pensive state. His stomach screamed in protest at the action and it was all that Harry could do to catch his breathe.
"Where the hell did you think you were going?!" Uncle Vernon screamed at the disoriented boy.
"Let GO!" Harry shouted again, twisting his body into an awkward position, unsure of exactly what was going on around him.
"Don't you dare leave when I'm talking to you!" The man screamed. "How dare you! After all the years we wasted on you! After everything we've given you!"
"You never gave me anything!" Harry shouted back, vaguely aware of the angry tears burning in the back of his eye's. "Just let me go! I don't want anything you have to give me!"
"Why you disrespectful little..After we fed you, and clothed you and put a roof over your ungrateful head! After we made Dudley give up his second room for...." Uncle Vernon trailed off then, suddenly he didn't look so furious. In fact, he was smiling. Somehow, Harry wasn't very reassured by the action.
Before Harry knew what was happening he was being dragged helplessly passed the staircase, the door beside him being quickly thrown open. Harry paled as he saw what Uncle Vernon was planing to do. He was shoving him none to gently into the now overly cluttered cupboard beneath the stairs. "No!" Harry screamed as he was thrown into the tiny space he'd once called him room. "No, you-" But by that time the door had already slammed in the hysterical boy's face. "Let me out of here! You can't keep me in here! Not anymore! You can't keep me in here!"
"You'll stay in there until you've learned some respect." His uncle laughed as he spoke, apparently highly amused by the boy's cries for help.
"NO! Let me out of here! LET ME OUT!"
Harry pounded his fists so hard against the door that the wood began to splinter and his knuckles to bleed. Screamed so loud and so long that his throat became raw and he could barely utter another sound. Fought so hard against his capture that he collapsed against the wall in obvious exhaustion. It was only a matter of time before his eye's fell closed, and a restless sleep finally claimed him. He'd never been so tired...
***
It was at least a good 72 hours before the door creaked open, and Harry found himself staring up nervously at Aunt Petunia.
"You see what happens when you disrespect your uncle like that?" She asked glaring down at him. "Serves you right. Now get upstairs before I change my mind about letting you out of here! Vernon wanted to leave you in there all week. You should really be thanking me."
Harry struggled weakly to his feet as his Aunt disappeared into the kitchen. Thanking her? THANKING HER?! Thanking her for what exactly? For standing by and watching his uncle beat him or for leaving him in that damned cupboard for over three days? Harry gave a shuddering sigh as he made his way slowly to his room, stopping only to glare at Dudley as he threw a few broken toys out into the hallway at him.
He couldn't live like this! He simply couldn't stand it anymore. The Dursleys had never given him anything without finding some screwed up way for him to pay for it. They certainly didn't deserve his respect! He couldn't live with them anymore, and frankly he was afraid to.
What had happened the other day with his uncle had never really occurred before, and now that it was happening he couldn't help but be a bit frightened. Sure he'd been knocked around a bit, and he'd certainly been locked in that damned cupboard before, but it had never been like this. He'd been locked in there for over a month at a time, but then he had been feed and allowed out once or twice a day. He'd never been trapped in there for three days straight like that before. And if he had his way, he never would again.
No, if he had his way he'd never have to set foot in number four Privet Dr. again. His neglectful relatives would be out of his life forever. He'd worked the whole thing out in the cupboard, he was going live with Sirius. The fact that Sirius was an escaped convict and that he didn't really have a home didn't phase him in the least. Anything would be better than this!
The Dursely's had been doing everything in their power to break him down and shatter his spirit since that fateful night he'd been left on their door step, but no matter how close they came, he wouldn't let them succeed. He wouldn't let them break him completely. Not if he could help it.
Harry was delighted to see that Hedwig was back when he entered his room, cocking her head at him, apparently concerned at his state of being. He gave his owl a forced half smile before pulling our a piece of parchment and scribbling down a hurried note to his godfather.
He wasn't even sure what he'd written when he went to tie the letter to Hedwig's leg, tossing aside the things she'd brought from Ron and Hermione. Hedwig made a noise of complaint at the action, nipping irritably at Harry's hand, obviously upset that he didn't seem to care about the letters she'd brought him.
"Hey!" Harry exclaimed at first, before realizing what he'd done. "Sorry girl." He apologized fondly, hurriedly retrieving a handful owl treats for her. "I'm just a bit eager to get this letter to Sirius."
Hedwig made another irritated sound, but then took the treats he gave her without further complaint. It wasn't long before she was flying out of sight, and Harry heaved a sigh of relief as she went--the owl he'd been planing to send Dumbledore and the previous pain in his scar forgotten completely.
~~~
A/N: All right, did that totally suck? I don't know, I kinda like it but at the same time...ugh! It's definitely not my best writing, most fanfiction isn't, but...well...it's not completely horrible, is it? I wasn't sure about the whole cupboard thing, I just thought it would be a good way for some time to lapse (aka: I'm lazy) and that it would undoubtedly bring back some bad memories for Harry. Plus, I wanted to add a bit of realism to it all, if that makes any sense. I mean in the books the boy's gotten locked away in there for over a month at a time, but if they didn't let him out and feed him once and awhile wouldn't he starve or dehydrate to death?
Also, as abuse was never directly discussed in the books, aside from Dudley, I wanted this to be the first time anything like this had ever happened. sure, I imagine Harry's been slapped around a bit, but there's a difference between that and out right abuse, so...right.
Umm...Don't expect all of the chapters to be this long, I just wanted to get to a certain point before I ended it. I know this one was kind of cluttered and I wish I could say that the rest wont be, but I really can't promise that. Sorry -_-;; I wonder if anyone'll actually read/review this, I'd appreciate some good harsh(ish) constructive criticism but...I dunno, I guess I'll just have to see. This doesn't seem like much of an attention getter but...well...ugh...I dunno. I tried! I hope you liked this!!!
A/N: Hi, this is my first HP fic. I wasn't planning on posting it just yet, but I couldn't help myself! I don't know how good it is, it's been a while since I've written and any fics, and as I said, this is a new fandom for me (fanfiction wise I mean) so it might be a bit...err...scetchy? I dunno, I'm just not sure how well it turned out. Let me know, ok?
Umm...just a quick note on the plot here, this chapter involves Harry getting abused by the Dursleys, which I know has been done a thousand times over, but let me assure you, that this is not what this fic is about. That's just set up for the rest of it, so...err...yeah...just thought I'd let you know before you run away screaming about newbie HP authors and overused plots! Especially since it opens most generically with Harry waking up from a nightmare...Oops! All right, I'm done for now. Please r/r I hope it's ok! *Crosses fingers*
***
The Edge of Forever
Chapter One: Broken
***
~All this fear holding me. My heart is cold and I believe, nothing's gonna change...until I'm broken~
It was well after midnight when Harry awoke. Emerald eye's snapping open in horror and surprise, it was all he could do not to cry out. His breathing was shallow and quick, the boy's thin frame visibly trembling in the wan moonlight. A cold sweat had settled over the his body, plastering his unruly hair to his dampened forehead. And on that forehead his scar was searing with the most unusual kind of pain. A pain so strange that if he were asked to describe it his reply would make no sense whatsoever. It was like being on fire while shivering desperately in a frigid winter breeze, and though his head was surely capable of splitting at any given second, Harry found the pain almost tolerable.
Perhaps it was because he had already experienced such pain at it's worst, but it was still strange for him to be able find any composure under the circumstances. The pain was different this time. It wasn't quite as bad as when Voldemort was near but at the same time it was worse than when he killed. This pain was new. What could that possibly mean...?
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Harry tried to remember the dream he'd been having before he'd so abruptly woken up, but everything was a complete blur to him, and he found it quite impossible to make anything out. He didn't like it. His dreams were always a bit fuzzy, but from this one he could remember nothing, and to wake up in such a state without any idea why...No, he didn't like this at all!
As though out of habit his head snapped in the direction of Hedwig's cage. He had to owl Dumbledore immediately! Maybe then he could make some sense of things. But it wasn't until that very moment that he remembered the one thing that could possibly complicate matters more.
Hedwig's cage was empty. His post owl wasn't there.
Harry sighed deeply, biting down on his lower lip in bewilderment. It had only been a few short hours ago that he'd sent her off with letters for Ron and Hermione, and Hermione was on vacation right now. Hedwig wouldn't be back for days! Now he really didn't like this. But what could he do about it now? Nothing, that's what! He felt so helpless just then.
But perhaps he was imagining things, he tried to convince himself. The pain in his scar had already dissipated into a gentle throb. Maybe the dream meant nothing. But still...
There was nothing he could do right now, he reassured himself firmly. He'd just have to wait a few days until Hedwig returned. There was nothing more that could be done. He might as well get some sleep, it would, after all, make the time go faster.
But Harry should have known right then that he wasn't going to sleep easily that night, or the next for that matter. He should have known that things couldn't possibly be that simple.
***
Harry flipped the bacon sleepily, watching dully as it sizzled on the hot skillet before him. The pain in his scar had completely disappeared by now, the fact that there had even been a dream just a distant and fuzzy memory. Though he was still a bit worried by it he knew that there was little he could do before Hedwig was back and he was doing everything in his power to keep his mind on other things. Even if that meant aiding in the destruction of Dudley's so called diet.
After Harry had gone with the Weasley's last summer his cousin's 'diet' had become a total joke. Apparently there'd been a news report on one night about how eating a lot could actually make one *lose* weight. Harry hadn't heard exactly how it worked, but it definitely didn't seem to be working now! Dudley had surely become larger around than an adult hippopotamus, and yet when anyone even came close to stating so Aunt Petunia insisted incessantly that her handsome little boy was merely stimulating his metabolism. What this so called metabolism she kept going on about was, Harry wasn't sure. He'd long ago come to the conclusion that Dudley didn't have any metabolism to speak of.
As far the downfall of his cousin's diet was concerned however, Harry really couldn't complain. If Dudley was eating again, that meant that the rest of the family could eat as well. Not that his own meager meals were anything to brag about, but anything was better than munching on celery and grapefruit everyday. Harry was happy to know that at least one of the strips of bacon he was frying had his name on it. How pathetic!
"Aren't you done with that yet, boy?" Uncle Vernon asked him impatiently from the table. Harry just sighed, he'd only started cooking a couple of minutes ago, what the hell did he expect? Luckily Harry was able to close his mouth before his thought's formed into words, only letting his shoulders slump as a tiny frown appeared on his face. It was getting harder and harder for him to keep his composure around the Dursleys. They really hadn't been *that* much worse since he'd come back this year--except maybe for Dudley, who was still quite bitter about the whole Ton Tongue Toffee incident--but he wasn't exactly the same boy he'd been when he'd left last summer either.
It wasn't at all improbable that he'd act a little differently after what he'd been through. As a result he'd been much quieter this summer, which the Dursleys didn't seem to mind in the least. Of course that gave Dudley and Uncle Vernon an entirely new way to torture him--See which one could make him crack first. The two of them seemed to be going out of their way to irritate him, more so than usual. Harry was pretty sure that they had a bet going to see how long it would take him to fight back, and if he didn't get a grip soon they wouldn't have to wait much longer to declare a winner.
"Well?" His uncle asked again, glaring at the boys back. "Are we going to eat or what?!"
Harry just nodded stiffly, pulling out a plate for the bacon. What the hell did he mean were they going to eat? They already *were* eating! Dudley, for one, had already devoured both his and Harry's eggs and toast, and Uncle Vernon hadn't exactly left room for much more either. What more did they want from him?
He turned around slowly, trying to keep the look on his face a little more neutral as he headed for the table. But it was at that very moment that the all but forgotten pain in his scar chose to come back, and it came back with a vengeance. Harry bit down on his lip to keep himself from crying out, squeezing his eye's shut tightly as pain flowed steadily from his from his forehead.
"Dad, what's wrong with him? What's he doing?" Dudley looked very frightened indeed, the look on his piggy face suggesting that Harry's current predicament might actually have some kind of negative effect on himself.
Uncle Vernon jumped from his seat immediately, placing his strong hands on the boy's shoulders and shaking him lightly. "What the hell are you doing, boy?!"
What was he doing? What was he doing? He wasn't doing anything, he was just standing there, trying to keep himself from giving into the considerable pain threatening to split his head in two! But as his Uncle gave another shake, his head lolling slightly back and forth, the pain finally overwhelmed him, and just as his teeth were beginning to draw blood from his lower lip, his mouth fell open in blood curdling scream.
The last thing he heard was the shattering of china against tile and the far away shouts of his angered uncle as he crumbled to the floor.
***
Harry opened his eye's in surprise, blinking several times, to see his purple faced uncle glaring down at him. He looked ready to kill. Dudley's round face swam slowly into his vision, the grin crossing the boy's visage blurred and far away. Aunt Petunia merely stared down bewildered at the shattered plate of bacon.
The pain in his scar had dulled considerably, but the experience was still a bit disorienting. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly in confusion when he found his lips wet. In fact, his whole upper body was wet! It took him a moment to realize that the smile on his cousin's face wasn't only because of Harry's peculiar predicament, but also most definitely had something to do with the empty jug of water clutched in his fat right hand.
"W-What..." He stuttered bewildered.
"He fainted!" Dudley suddenly burst out laughing, chewing merrily on a fatty piece of bacon he picked up off the floor.
"Faint-fainted...I...what?"
"You fainted!" He said with a look close to triumph spreading across his piggy face. "Look at him! Just like a-"
"What the hell was that?!" Uncle Vernon cut his son off, he didn't exactly look concerned.
"I...My scar." Harry managed to get out as his vision finally came back into complete focus. His scar? What the hell *had* happened to him?! He hadn't been in that much pain since...since his encounter with Voldemort!
"I have to owl Dumbledore!" He shouted suddenly, attempting to push himself into a sitting position, and failing miserably when his hand slipped on the slick floor.
"What's this nonsense?" Uncle Vernon demanded angrily, glaring daggers at his nephew.
"Dumbledore!" Harry exclaimed all but deliriously. "My headmaster! He told me to owl him if my scar hurt!" And then suddenly remembering Hedwig's absence, Harry blurted out quite possibly the dumbest thing he could ever say in front of his uncle. "I have to get to Hogwarts!"
And that was it.
Had Harry not been on the floor already, he'd surely be there now. Crying out in shock and pain, Harry's head hit the hard tile beneath him before he even felt his uncle's hand on his cheek. Was up against the wall before he realized he was standing, his uncle's eye's positively boiling over with rage. "WHAT?" He screamed, slamming the boy back roughly against the hard plaster.
"I mean my school!" Harry shouted suddenly, realizing his mistake all to late. "I meant-"
"I don't care what you MEANT" Uncle Vernon yelled down at the boy, obviously furious. "I told you never to speak of that...FREAK school in this house! NEVER!"
"I'm sorry!" What more could he say? Still his uncle didn't relent, wrapping his hands around the boys neck and slamming him again. This time Harry's head hit dangerously hard, and he threatened to lose consciousness for the second time that morning. Obviously he'd gone to far this time. To first, cry out like that--what if the neighbors heard?--and then to collapse--an obvious side effect of his 'abnormality'--shatter his aunt's good china *and* ruin breakfast all at once! Under normal circumstances such act's would certainly have earned him the full summer locked away in his room, a good smack upside the head and countless beating's from his cousin's smelting stick, but that hadn't been all he'd done just then. On top of everything he'd broken the golden rule of survival among the Dursleys--NEVER mention anything having to do with magic. From the looks of it all he'd finally made his uncle snap. Oh, he was in for it now.
"I'm sorry!" He screamed again, desperation starting to creep into his voice as he gasped for breathe. "Let go!" He cried, trying to push the much larger man away. He knew it was a loosing battle, but he had to do something. "Let me the hell go!" But his uncle continued to shake his forcefully, pressing his thumbs more firmly into his nephew's throat, that awful look of rage never fading from his face.
'Oh God! He's going to kill me!'
The frown on Harry's frightened face deepened in bewilderment as the full weight of that statement began to sink in. His uncle was going to kill him...He nearly laughed just then despite it all. After all that he'd been through, after all the run ins he'd had with Voldemort and lived to tell about, after everything that he'd endured, his UNCLE was going to kill him. Somehow that just didn't seem fair.
Yet here he was, dangling as helpless as a discarded rag doll in his uncle's firm grip, the simple task of getting his footing all but impossible. And all the while his scar burned dully and his head ached. This wasn't right. It just wasn't right! He couldn't let it end this way.
It was out of utter desperation that Harry began feebly kicking at his uncle's legs, and it was out of sheer luck that he connected sharply with the enraged man's ankle. Uncle Vernon cried out in pain, dropping Harry so suddenly that the boy again tumbled to the floor. This time however he struggled rather quickly to his feet, ignoring the incessant pounding in his head as he raced out of the kitchen.
When he got to the staircase however he stopped for a moment, considering his options. He couldn't go up to his room now, not if he really wanted to escape his uncle's wrath. He couldn't stay in that house another minute! And so, he rushed to the front door, throwing it open with such a force that it nearly flew off of it's hinges. He had to get away! Had to get out of that house!
However, the prospect looked rather bleak as he felt a strong hand on his shoulder, dragging him back into the dimly lit foyer.
"No! Let me go!" The boy screamed, flailing his arms and legs as he struggled to break free of his uncle's iron grip. If he'd had his wand on him he would have cursed the man fifty times over, despite the ministry's warning. Despite the fact that Hogwarts was his only real escape form this house. If they kicked him out, he'd simply run away or go live with Ron or someone until Sirius was cleared. Sirius was the only one who could get him away from this madness, and he had to get away!
Harry gasped in pain as his uncle's fist suddenly collided with his lower abdomen, tearing him out of his pensive state. His stomach screamed in protest at the action and it was all that Harry could do to catch his breathe.
"Where the hell did you think you were going?!" Uncle Vernon screamed at the disoriented boy.
"Let GO!" Harry shouted again, twisting his body into an awkward position, unsure of exactly what was going on around him.
"Don't you dare leave when I'm talking to you!" The man screamed. "How dare you! After all the years we wasted on you! After everything we've given you!"
"You never gave me anything!" Harry shouted back, vaguely aware of the angry tears burning in the back of his eye's. "Just let me go! I don't want anything you have to give me!"
"Why you disrespectful little..After we fed you, and clothed you and put a roof over your ungrateful head! After we made Dudley give up his second room for...." Uncle Vernon trailed off then, suddenly he didn't look so furious. In fact, he was smiling. Somehow, Harry wasn't very reassured by the action.
Before Harry knew what was happening he was being dragged helplessly passed the staircase, the door beside him being quickly thrown open. Harry paled as he saw what Uncle Vernon was planing to do. He was shoving him none to gently into the now overly cluttered cupboard beneath the stairs. "No!" Harry screamed as he was thrown into the tiny space he'd once called him room. "No, you-" But by that time the door had already slammed in the hysterical boy's face. "Let me out of here! You can't keep me in here! Not anymore! You can't keep me in here!"
"You'll stay in there until you've learned some respect." His uncle laughed as he spoke, apparently highly amused by the boy's cries for help.
"NO! Let me out of here! LET ME OUT!"
Harry pounded his fists so hard against the door that the wood began to splinter and his knuckles to bleed. Screamed so loud and so long that his throat became raw and he could barely utter another sound. Fought so hard against his capture that he collapsed against the wall in obvious exhaustion. It was only a matter of time before his eye's fell closed, and a restless sleep finally claimed him. He'd never been so tired...
***
It was at least a good 72 hours before the door creaked open, and Harry found himself staring up nervously at Aunt Petunia.
"You see what happens when you disrespect your uncle like that?" She asked glaring down at him. "Serves you right. Now get upstairs before I change my mind about letting you out of here! Vernon wanted to leave you in there all week. You should really be thanking me."
Harry struggled weakly to his feet as his Aunt disappeared into the kitchen. Thanking her? THANKING HER?! Thanking her for what exactly? For standing by and watching his uncle beat him or for leaving him in that damned cupboard for over three days? Harry gave a shuddering sigh as he made his way slowly to his room, stopping only to glare at Dudley as he threw a few broken toys out into the hallway at him.
He couldn't live like this! He simply couldn't stand it anymore. The Dursleys had never given him anything without finding some screwed up way for him to pay for it. They certainly didn't deserve his respect! He couldn't live with them anymore, and frankly he was afraid to.
What had happened the other day with his uncle had never really occurred before, and now that it was happening he couldn't help but be a bit frightened. Sure he'd been knocked around a bit, and he'd certainly been locked in that damned cupboard before, but it had never been like this. He'd been locked in there for over a month at a time, but then he had been feed and allowed out once or twice a day. He'd never been trapped in there for three days straight like that before. And if he had his way, he never would again.
No, if he had his way he'd never have to set foot in number four Privet Dr. again. His neglectful relatives would be out of his life forever. He'd worked the whole thing out in the cupboard, he was going live with Sirius. The fact that Sirius was an escaped convict and that he didn't really have a home didn't phase him in the least. Anything would be better than this!
The Dursely's had been doing everything in their power to break him down and shatter his spirit since that fateful night he'd been left on their door step, but no matter how close they came, he wouldn't let them succeed. He wouldn't let them break him completely. Not if he could help it.
Harry was delighted to see that Hedwig was back when he entered his room, cocking her head at him, apparently concerned at his state of being. He gave his owl a forced half smile before pulling our a piece of parchment and scribbling down a hurried note to his godfather.
He wasn't even sure what he'd written when he went to tie the letter to Hedwig's leg, tossing aside the things she'd brought from Ron and Hermione. Hedwig made a noise of complaint at the action, nipping irritably at Harry's hand, obviously upset that he didn't seem to care about the letters she'd brought him.
"Hey!" Harry exclaimed at first, before realizing what he'd done. "Sorry girl." He apologized fondly, hurriedly retrieving a handful owl treats for her. "I'm just a bit eager to get this letter to Sirius."
Hedwig made another irritated sound, but then took the treats he gave her without further complaint. It wasn't long before she was flying out of sight, and Harry heaved a sigh of relief as she went--the owl he'd been planing to send Dumbledore and the previous pain in his scar forgotten completely.
~~~
A/N: All right, did that totally suck? I don't know, I kinda like it but at the same time...ugh! It's definitely not my best writing, most fanfiction isn't, but...well...it's not completely horrible, is it? I wasn't sure about the whole cupboard thing, I just thought it would be a good way for some time to lapse (aka: I'm lazy) and that it would undoubtedly bring back some bad memories for Harry. Plus, I wanted to add a bit of realism to it all, if that makes any sense. I mean in the books the boy's gotten locked away in there for over a month at a time, but if they didn't let him out and feed him once and awhile wouldn't he starve or dehydrate to death?
Also, as abuse was never directly discussed in the books, aside from Dudley, I wanted this to be the first time anything like this had ever happened. sure, I imagine Harry's been slapped around a bit, but there's a difference between that and out right abuse, so...right.
Umm...Don't expect all of the chapters to be this long, I just wanted to get to a certain point before I ended it. I know this one was kind of cluttered and I wish I could say that the rest wont be, but I really can't promise that. Sorry -_-;; I wonder if anyone'll actually read/review this, I'd appreciate some good harsh(ish) constructive criticism but...I dunno, I guess I'll just have to see. This doesn't seem like much of an attention getter but...well...ugh...I dunno. I tried! I hope you liked this!!!