Letters Of Black

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Wiess ain't mine!

Warnings : AU, Yaoi, Lemon, OCC, angst, druguse, blood and stuff.

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts, the little voice you sometimes hear in your head, letters, lyrics, rhymes.

This is AU so some stuff is a bit diffrent but should still be familier. Pasts have been change to fit the story though.

Chapter 8. Ivory Protection

Ken sank down on one of the chairs in the kitchen and shuddered. His tormenter had been walking in and out of his apartment for God knew how long. It was just too much to take. Shaking badly the brunette picked up the little bag that waited for him. He needed a shot of morphine before his back exploded. Quickly he filled a syringe and started tapping away the air in it.

"What the hell is he doing?" Ken looked up and glared at the lanky blonde Ran had called Yoji.

"Piss off!" he snorted and rose from the chair. Not really caring who saw his addiction the brunette pulled up his shirt and drove the needle into his back. It hurt, it always hurt, but at that moment it was welcomed as long as it wasn't the normal type of pain coming from his damaged muscle or his memories. When he was done he fell back down on the chair again.

"Leave him alone Kudou!" a deep smooth voice said harshly.

"Fine, fine. Listen I suggest you two find another place to stay at, it's obviously not safe here," Yoji muttered.

"Hn." Ken glared at his bodyguard but inside he just wanted to have those slender ivory arms wrapped around him, protecting him. He felt so unsafe and he was seriously scared.

"Why don't you and Kenken bunk at your place tonight?" Three pairs of eyes stared as the brunette shot up from the chair with a unreadable look on his now pale face.

"Don't ever, EVER call me that!" Ken screamed with his eyes shining with tears. "Don't, call me… that," he sobbed and ran past the three shocked men.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"What did I say?" Yoji asked in confusion.

"I'm not sure," Ran frowned before he left the kitchen. Why had the brunette reacted like that? He found Ken in the hall tightly hugging himself as he cried. "Ken?" He got no answer but he could hear the brunette mumbling to himself.

"Please don't call me that. Don't call me that." Confused and concerned about his client's acting Ran stepped closer.

"Ken?" he asked again.

"I don't want him to call me that," the brunette sobbed and rocked back and forth.

"Call you what? Kenken?" Pained brown eyes stared at him. So it was the nickname? But why did Ken react so badly to it? Ran didn't understand but it was obvious that that nickname held some sort of meaning.

"He used to call me that, always that," the brunette mumbled. "It was the last word I heard him say. Always that. Always Kenken."

"Who called you that?" Ran asked softly and wiped away some of the tears that poured down Ken's cheeks.

"Kase. Nobody called me that but him. Kase and Kenken, Kenken and Kase," the slightly shorter man croaked out. Ran didn't know what to say. "I'll wait for you in hell, Kenken. That was the last thing he said before I... I…"

"Before you killed him?" the redhead asked carefully and was again facing painfilled brown eyes.

"No… I… I don't know. I can't remember." Ran reached out his hand and pulled the brunette close to him. With a whimper Ken pressed himself against the redhead. "They said… said that I… I stabbed him… but I don't remember."

"Sch," Ran almost whispered. He couldn't be sure but the redhead had a hunch that Ken hadn't killed Kase at all. The hunch insisted that the one who had slaughtered Kase was the same person who now was after Ken. Ran frowned to himself as he wrapped his ivory arms protectivly around the brunette's shaking form.

It was based on three things.

1. Ken didn't seem like a person who would stab someone 26 times.

2. Ken had been badly wounded, almost bleeding to death. How had he had the strength and stamina to stab someone so many times?

3. In the police report that Omi had given him it had said that they hadn't found Ken's on the knife. And besides, the cat they had found on Ken's bed had looked a lot like Kase's body.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ran's apartment was clean, tidy and everything was meticulously placed where it belonged. To Ken it was obvious that the redhead was neurotic when it came to tidyness, he himself dropped everything where he was standing at the moment he decided the thing he held no longer was needed. The brunette was a messy person and the sterile apartment that belonged to Ran made him feel uncomfortable.

"Have a seat," Ran said and pointed to a white couch that didn't look like anyone had ever used it. Ken looked down at the dirty sweatpants he was still wearing.

"Um, I need a shower," he mumbled. Since his run he hadn't had a chance to get clean and he was smelling of dried in sweat.

"The bathroom is to your left," the redhead answered blandly. For a moment Ken wanted to ask the silent bodyguard to join him but he caught himself before the question escaped. He couldn't believe how badly he wanted Ran again.

Sighing to himself the brunette went to the bathroom and stripped. He was going to have to get a grip on his need, lust, passion or whatever the hell it was he felt towards Fujimiya.

"Stop thinking about him!" he ordered himself harshly. But you can't Ken. You need him too much. You want him to hurt you, don't you? the annoying voice in his head mumbled. "Hurt me?" Ken asked and winced.

Yes. You want him to hurt you, cause you physical pain. You want Ran to cause you pain so you can forget about the hurt you carry inside. White teeth sank into a lip. That was true, Ken couldn't deny it but he didn't want Ran to know that.

It would be unfair of him to use the redhead like he wanted to and it would be wrong. His bodyguard might be cold, hard and in some ways mean but Ken was sure he would never hurt anyone when sex was involved. Cursing to himself he dropped his clothes on the floor.

"You might need some…" the deep smooth voice silenced quickly and the brunette turned around. Amethyst eyes stared at his naked body once again.

"Towels?" Ken suggested and couldn't help but smile. Ran's face went from slightly shocked to ice cold in an instant.

"Aa," the redhead answered, put the towels down and faced away from him.

"Ran?" Ken asked and frowned in confusion.

"Aa." What the brunette really wanted was to plead to the silent bodyguard to please just hold him, take him, do anything to him as long as they touched but that was probably not a wise idea.

"I'm sorry about what happened this morning." Those words made Ran turned around again.

"You're sorry?" he asked callously with one fine red eyebrow raised.

"I didn't mean to throw myself at you like that, I just… just… needed you… I guess," Ken studdered feeling pretty damn idiotic. For a moment the bland mask slipped and Ran looked confused.

"Hn." Those stupid answers still pissed the brunette off to no end. Was the subject so boring, unimportant, that the redhead couldn't even be bothered with using real words?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ran could tell that the brunette was getting annoyed by his short answers but he didn't know what to say. He couldn't very well blurt out that if Ken needed him again he'd be more than willing to repeat what they had been doing that morning. Mentally slapping himself the redhead straightened up. It was torture to stand there and see Ken naked without being allowed to touch him.

"It's a good thing Moroshima doesn't pay you by the word!" the brunette spat out and frowned. His client was angry with him but all Ran could see was how beautiful Ken was when he was enraged. Those chocolate eyes seemed to be on fire and his skin blushed slightly from the emotions.

With two long strides the redhead grabbed a hold of strong shoulders and covered Ken's mouth with his. If his actions surprised his client he sure didn't show it. Just like that morning the kiss was almost brutal in its force as Ken thrusted his tongue inside Ran's mouth.

The redhead moaned softly into it but made no attempt to slow down his lover. Strong fingers tore at his clothes and he didn't stop them either. It only took the brunette a moment to get Ran naked and when he was done he pushed the taller man down on the toilet-seat.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ken was in a frenzy, he couldn't think, reason or stop himself. He wanted to feel Ran inside of him fast. Growling under his breath the brunette sat down in his bodyguards lap and claimed his kiss-swollen lips again. Things were moving too fast but he didn't care, couldn't find an excuse not to pushed them to move even faster.

With one hand on Ran's shoulder he lifted himself up slightly, fumbled for a brief moment before he had a firm grip on the redhead's erection and then impaled himself on it. The pain caused him to cry out but he welcomed it with open arms. All the hurt he held inside vanished as the new pain took over, washing him from his blood-stained past.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ran's eyes were wide in shock and disbelife as Ken slammed himself down on him. A scream of pain echoed through the bathroom and tears fell unchecked from the brunette's eyes. The redhead couldn't move at first. This wasn't what he wanted at all.

He wasn't the one hurting Ken, Ken was inflicting it on himself but that didn't mean Ran was going to allow it. His hands shot out and grabbed the tanned arms that held onto his shoulders.

"NO!" he said harshly with his voice cracked from shock and, shamefully enough, pleasure. Brown eyes looked at him filled with tears, pain and need. "Not like this!" Ran almost spat out and tried to free himself from his client.

"Please." It was barely a whisper.

"No," Ran repeated and shook his head. "I don't want this." The tears ran faster down Ken's cheeks.

"You don't want me," the brunette sobbed and closed his eyes.

"Not like this no. You're hurting yourself." At that the brown eyes opened again.

"One pain takes away another," Ken mumbled and moved slightly, causing Ran to moan.

"Maybe for a brief moment," the redhead admitted unwillingly and tried to keep his client still. But his will-power was fading with each movement from the body he was buried inside. With his eyes locked with Ran's Ken lifted himself up slightly and sank back down again.

He couldn't resist and he hated himself for it but the pleasure was just too much. The redhead cursed himself. He would allow it this once but only if Ken took it slow and stopped causing himself pain. Slowly the brunette set up the pace, rising and falling, in control of himself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ken submitted under the rules that Ran had stated. If he couldn't get pain he would settle for pleasure and he'd do it willingly. He had snapped out from the insane frenzy and his body once again obeyed him. When he started moving he did it slowly and gently. He was ashamed that he had tried to use Ran to relieve his pain but he needed him too much to let it go.

Moans fell from his lips and mixed with the redhead's. The pace picked up and Ken felt slender fingers wrapp around his erection. Ran was gentle, caring and soothed him in a way none of his other lovers had been able to. Attacked by pleasure from two directions the brunette couldn't hang on. His body was already damp with sweat and the feeling in his stomach told him that he wouldn't last much longer.

With a gasp he leaned forward and softly brushed his lips over Ran's. The redhead pulled him closer and deepened the kiss but it never became brutal like before and it never spun out of control. Ken's cry from climax was smothered by his bodyguard's mouth and moments after the brunette's did the same when Ran called out his name before he released.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ran looked at the sleeping form in his bed and sighed. He had cleaned up and showered the brunette and then put him to bed. Thanks to his brutal actions earlier Ken was sore and moved stiffly. Ran sighed again. He wanted to hold the brunette in his arms, surround him with protection but he wasn't sure he was allowed to do that.

Even if they had had sex twice they weren't intimate on a level where they could just lie and hold each other. That bothered him a whole lot more than he was willing to admit to. With a quiet huff he left Ken alone and went into the living-room.

The doorbell rang. More focused on his brooding than on who it might be that came to see him in the middle of the night Ran padded over to the door. He opened it and looked at a tall figure dressed completely in black, face hidden underneath a hat.

"Omae wo korosu," the stranger growled. Ran moved at once but the other man was faster. Something shiny raced towards him and then his ears filled up with his own screams of pain.

~TBC~

Woa second lemon in this fic *wipes brow* Again this was needed due to the plot and I'm sorry it was so crude and brutal but… well Ken has problems with his past and from what I've learnt there are a lot of ppl that use one type of pain to take away another. But Ranners wouldn't allow it *huggles the redhead* Good assassin!

Demo… What did that psycho do to poor Ran?!?! And who is the psycho??? O.o Guess you'll have to wait to find out *hehe* I'll say this much. One of my reviewers has the answer *nods* Who? I'm not gonna tell *snickers* I'm so damn evil!

Oh and if you forgot, Omae wo korosu means I'll kill you *nods* Ja/Atsureki