Letters Of Black

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Wieß ain't mine!

Warnings : AU, Yaoi, OCC, angst.

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts, the little voice you sometimes hear in your head, letters, lyrics, rhymes.

This is AU so some stuff is a bit diffrent but should still be familier. Pasts have been change to fit the story though.

Chapter 17. Gray Explanations

Yoji let out another load of foul words as he glared at his bigges enemy. Another punch, another mocking sound. The lanky blonde lit a cigarette and attacked again.

"God damn piece of fucking crap!" he exclaimed and delivered another whack to the unco-operative thing.

"Omi where are you when I need you." Green eyes lost their annoyance. He was deeply concerned about his partner and there was nothing he could do which made him feel even worse. Everything seemed so pale and dull without the genki blonde. Omi always brightened up the day with his positive attitude but now he was gone and only God knew if he'd ever come back again. Yoji rested his forehead against the laptop he was fighting with and almost fell off the chair when a little pling was heard. He was in.

"Well I'll be damned." A new window opened up and the lanky blonde stared in shock. Omi had been working hard on one of the photo's the stalker had sent. It was the one with the reflection in the mirror. The little blonde had managed to clear the picture enough to make out the stranger.

Yoji's eyes narrowed and he started cursing again. He was just about to pick up his phone when a low sound made him swirl around. Slightly confused eyes met his before something was pressed against his face. He fought but the other man was so much stronger than him. Darkness took over and his mind disappeared somewhere.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ken sighed and leaned back on the chair. He was restless and he missed Ran so much. With another sigh he reached for the bottle of energy drink and took a gulp from it. He was sleepy again and he didn't understand why. Wasn't that stuff suppose to make him energetic? Lately he had always gotten tired when he drank it instead of the other way around. In the corner of his eyes he saw someone so he turned around.

"Ben?" Ken stared at his friend's face. It was Ben without a doubt but he looked so strange. Instead of kind gray eyes he found dark orbs filled with some sort of sadness and insanity.

"You're half right." The voice was all wrong too. Ben had a soft and mild voice but now it was gruff and cold instead. With fear the brunette ran his eyes over his friend's clothes. He was dressed completely in black just like… The pieces connected and made him tremble. "Sometimes you're not all that bright my friend," Ben snickered and came closer. "I left you enough clues didn't I?"

"Ben? Why?" Ken stammered.

"We need to get going before that damn redhead comes back!" the blonde muttered. "Get up!" Ken shook his head. Ran had been right, the one who was after him was Ben. "I said get up!!" He shook his head again. Why was Ben doing this to him?

"Why Ben? I don't understand."

"No you wouldn't understand, would you?" the blonde sighed sadly. "I guess that it's just hard to see the forest for all the trees sometimes, ne?" Ken stared at him lost in utter confusion. Ben was changing moods so fast that it was hard to keep up. One second he was angry and the next sad. He had no idea of what was going on but there was one thing that was very clear to him.

"You killed Kase." A spark of hate lit up Ben's eyes.

"He deserved it! I couldn't just stand aside and let him play you, fuck you, use you! I tried so many times to tell you but you just wouldn't listen to me! You never listen to me Ken!" the blonde yelled and shook his head. His dark eyes were clouded with insanity and the brunette swallowed when the Ben he had known for so long just seemed to disappear. "Now, on your feet Kenken, don't make me hurt you!" Shaking he rose and felt even more tired than before.

"Where are you taking me?" Ken asked quietly.

"You'll see when we get there. By the way, you're beautiful when you sleep Kenken. Your lips were so soft and you smelled so good. I can't wait to see if it's the same when you're awake." The brunette shuddered. Ben had been touching him while he was asleep?

"How could you? I trusted you," Ken whimpered.

"How could I? You just don't get it do you? I protected you, helped you. I've even killed for you Ken! But did you ever see me? NO, never. You were always too busy with Kase, Kase this and Kase that! I've loved you since the first day I saw you and you never even looked my way! I have protected you for years and still not even a thank you, nothing, ever! Well if I can't have you then no one else is going to have you either! I've watched you ruin yourself, fucking whores and I have had it Ken! Remember the lyrics? Did you ever see the chorus? 'You're all I need, make you only mine. I loved you, so I set you free I had to take your life.'. It makes perfect sense, doesn't it?"

Ben was insane, he had lost it completely but somwhere inside Ken knew that his friend was right. The blonde had done all those things for him and he had never even gotten a thank you. Of course Ken had never known that Ben had killed Kase but there were so many other things that he had done for the brunette. But how could he have missed that the blonde was in love with him?

"I'm sorry Benjamin," Ken mumbled and used his friend's full name. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" There had been a time when he had had those feelings for Ben too. It was before Kase started making moves on him. He sadly look into his friend's eyes.

"Tell you? I tried Ken, I really did but you were so busy with Kase that you didn't even notice that I was alive." The blonde's voice returned to its normal softness. "At first you were so happy and I didn't want to ruin that for you. Back then I really would have done anything just so that you were happy and then Kase started fucking around, talking behind your back." Ken stared, he had never known that.

"What?"

"Kenken he went to bed with everybody, men and women, he even came on to me. I wanted to tell you but you wouldn't hear it." The brunette rubbed his face. Now that he thought about it Ben had tried to tell him something about Kase but he had said that he didn't want to hear it. God how stupid was he allowed to be? How could he have been so hopelessly blinded by love?

"He cheated on me?" It was barely a whisper.

"Yes Ken, he was cheating on you the whole time. You were working so hard on keeping him in the team that you never had time to notice."

"You should have forced me to listen," Ken sighed.

"Nice Ken you put the blame on me! Like I wasn't already doing enough for you?!" The gruff tone in Ben's voice returned along with the darkening insanity in his eyes. "Who do you think it was that kept you in the team? Who do you think cleaned up the messes Kase created, the ones you were too blind to see? I bailed him out every single time he fucked up just so that you would never know how he really treated you behind your back! I pleaded with him, begged him to stop and do you know what he said?! Do you Ken?!"

The brunette numbly shook his head as he quietly stared into his friend's eyes, flooded with hurt and sadness inbetween the sparks of madness.

"He told me that… that… he would never let you go. Kase needed you Ken and not just to get into the team and stay there. He needed your love Ken! He lived on the fact that you loved him so much. Do you understand how strong you made him, how much power he got from the love you had for him? You would have done anything for him just because you loved him so much. But you should have given that love to someone else because he didn't deserve it!" the Italian spat out bitterly.

"He was so jealous of you, of how everybody liked you, of how skilled you were and he hated you for it. Even when we were kids he hated you, despised you for being all the things he wasn't and you still loved him! Why Ken? Why did you love him instead of me? I would never had hurt you like he did, I would never have let you down but you never saw me. You walked all over my heart and you didn't even care about how much it hurt me. But I still loved you, I didn't want to but I did. I hate that I love you, I hate the way you are because it just makes me love you more." Tears ran down Ben's cheeks.

"Did he ever tell you why he broke up with you?" Ken swallowed and again shook his head. The blonde seemed to be fighting to calm down. "I threatened to kill him," Ben grated out. "I even bought a gun and held it to his head. But he told you the truth, something I specificly told him not to do. He knew that it would crush you and he loved every minute of it. I tried to comfort you but it wasn't enough and then Kase tried to kill you. I hunted him for days but he was nowhere to be found and the cops couldn't do shit!" The tall blonde paused for a moment and ran a hand through his thick hair.

"Fortunately for you and me I have some friends in Italy who are very good with the shady stuff. They taught me all they knew about spying, computers, drugs, everything. It took some time but I did find him in the end but it was almost too late. He had already stabbed you twice when I got to the warehouse. You were bleeding like a stuck pig and Kase was crying and laughing like some fucking moron. I called the cops and then I slaughtered him for what he had done to you. I just couldn't stop stabbing him over and over and over and over again. He was almost dead when I left and so where you." Silence filled the room.

"Ben, you need help. Will you please let me help you?" Ken pleaded and reached out his hand. He just had to get away from the blonde before he flipped completely and where the hell was Yoji? Was the lanky blonde still alive?

"Help me?" Ben asked with a smirk. "No you're not going to help me! I've known you for too long Ken, you can't fool me. Did you really think I would let you go back to Ran? I rather kill you than let you go back to him! Make up your mind Kenken, either you love me or you don't live. It's as simple as that! You'll soon fall asleep my dear, I've been playing with your sports drink for some time but you never figured that out… Now move it! We have to get out of here before Fujimiya shows up."

~TBC~

NOOOOOOO! He has Kenken! What's he going to do to him???? Sorry I confused and tricked some of you but Ben has a few um problems. I'll explain them later on. Now where the hell is Ran when we need him? And Yoji? Is he alright? Hm we'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out! Ja/Atsureki