I didn't ever want to fall asleep again. I was watching Clow-sama read the play aloud and the way his eyes were glinting, and how beautiful he looked, but I didn't want to say anything because it might've ruined the moment.
When I first saw Clow, there was a tiny part of me that hoped he was my lover, even though I wasn't really sure of what love was. I knew that this feeling.. this warmth.. it must've been love. There was no other word for it.. and as much as my naiievety reined over me, I did know -some- things. Sweets were good, love was even more wonderful (although, according to niisan, nothing was better than sweets.. Spinel held a slightly different opinion... I'm not sure why.)
So when I found myself in his arms, I thought I was surely dreaming, because there's no way Clow could love me. There's the love between a master and a ..well.. servant, guardian.. whatever you shall call me. It was only because of this, which I thought was a dream, that I confessed my love.. and if I would've known that I was awake, I surely would've hit myself.
In my mind's eye, I could've sworn that I heard Clow crying before I woke up and I wanted to sit in his lap and fall asleep like I did the previous night, but I was terrified; of being cast out; of being rejected, of many things. I wasn't supposed to be scared, or in love.. and I knew that.. yet I think Clow made a mistake in creating us. He may have intended for us, the guardians, not to have any emotions, but.. and I mean this with the fullest respect.. he failed.
I heard him whisper my name and my heart stopped.. but it didn't mean anything since he was asleep, did it? I certainly hoped that it did, but what I hoped didn't matter. When he woke up, he started saying strange things to me like 'You will never be mine, will you Yue?'. I frowned, not sure why he kept saying it, but I gave him my answer and told him my wish..
If you have never been kissed before, I'm afraid I can't describe it. I told Niisan later that it was better than any sweet that the baker could create, and although he laughed at me, I didn't tell him -who- I kissed. But as Clow whispered 'watashi no tenshi.. I love you'.. as he called me his angel.. I felt something that I had never felt before.
I felt complete. And I never wanted to let that feeling go.. never.
When I first saw Clow, there was a tiny part of me that hoped he was my lover, even though I wasn't really sure of what love was. I knew that this feeling.. this warmth.. it must've been love. There was no other word for it.. and as much as my naiievety reined over me, I did know -some- things. Sweets were good, love was even more wonderful (although, according to niisan, nothing was better than sweets.. Spinel held a slightly different opinion... I'm not sure why.)
So when I found myself in his arms, I thought I was surely dreaming, because there's no way Clow could love me. There's the love between a master and a ..well.. servant, guardian.. whatever you shall call me. It was only because of this, which I thought was a dream, that I confessed my love.. and if I would've known that I was awake, I surely would've hit myself.
In my mind's eye, I could've sworn that I heard Clow crying before I woke up and I wanted to sit in his lap and fall asleep like I did the previous night, but I was terrified; of being cast out; of being rejected, of many things. I wasn't supposed to be scared, or in love.. and I knew that.. yet I think Clow made a mistake in creating us. He may have intended for us, the guardians, not to have any emotions, but.. and I mean this with the fullest respect.. he failed.
I heard him whisper my name and my heart stopped.. but it didn't mean anything since he was asleep, did it? I certainly hoped that it did, but what I hoped didn't matter. When he woke up, he started saying strange things to me like 'You will never be mine, will you Yue?'. I frowned, not sure why he kept saying it, but I gave him my answer and told him my wish..
If you have never been kissed before, I'm afraid I can't describe it. I told Niisan later that it was better than any sweet that the baker could create, and although he laughed at me, I didn't tell him -who- I kissed. But as Clow whispered 'watashi no tenshi.. I love you'.. as he called me his angel.. I felt something that I had never felt before.
I felt complete. And I never wanted to let that feeling go.. never.