I couldn't help but feel depressed. This day of the year was always
difficult for me to deal with; more so than the other three hundred and
sixty-four. It was the anniversary of the day that Clow died. Keroberos
said that it was difficult for him as well, but I think he was merely
humoring me. He was happy with our new mistress.. and I have a nagging
suspicion that it's because she gives him so many sweets.
However, tonight was not like every other anniversary I had silently suffered through. This time, I could feel him.. and it was stronger than Kinomoto Fujitaka's presence.. It felt like Clow Reed was nearby. ".. 'niisan.. Can you feel it?" I asked softly, looking over. Keroberos and I often spent the anniversaries up on the Kinomoto's roof, looking up at the moon. He looked back towards me and cocked his head for a moment.
"He's close by, Yue. I think Sakura mentioned something about Eriol returning from England."
". Oh."
So much for that tiny glimmer of hope. Eriol had long since explained to me that he was not Clow Reed, but merely a reincarnate, and I had given up on him regaining all of the memories of my dead lover.. Fujitaka was a lost cause completely. The man didn't know of his hidden powers at all.. and perhaps it was better that way. Keroberos must've seen the sadness on my face, because he grinned and stretched up, licking my cheek.
I yelped, nearly falling off the roof in surprise. "Ack! What was that for?"
"Cheer up, Yue."
". What?" I stared at him as if he was completely daft. And.. let's be honest here, it was a distinct possibility. We'd both been around a long time, and our clashing personalities would be enough to drive anyone mad.
"Go see Eriol.. "
"There's no point."
Before I could say anything further, I found myself pinned to the roof, choking on orange fur. "Whaddya mean, there's no point?!" Keroberos' Osaka accent began showing through his usually serious tone, and I couldn't help but smile a -little-.
"He doesn't remember."
"It's been what.. seven years?"
"Eight." I corrected softly, closing my eyes. Keroberos shook his head and let me up.
"Then go see the brother, why don'tcha?" "He wants Yukito. Not me. "
Keroberos sighed and shook his head again. "You're a lost cause, Yue.. Good night. " He nuzzled me on the cheek lightly and went into Sakura's bedroom, and in a moment, I could hear his faint snoring. I sighed, turning my gaze up to the moon, and a sad smile crossed my features. Clow had named me after the moon.. I couldn't help but wonder how many nights he spent like this; staring up at it; gazing at its beauty.
I decided to take Keroberos' advice and go to see Eriol.. It was better than nothing. Better than being alone as I had been. I flew to his home - it was late, no one saw me.. The last thing I needed was to be in one of those supermarket papers. When I got there, what was left of my heart almost shattered as soon as I saw him. He was sitting in the big chair in front of the fireplace.. and looked exactly like Clow.
"Welcome back, Yue." He said softly, without looking up. I was well aware of the tears rolling down my cheeks, and could barely resist the urge to run and hug him. 'This was not Clow.', I kept telling myself over and over.
"I.. I'm sorry. I just.."
"You felt Clow's presence."
"Yes."
"Well.. I suppose you should. I have, in all essence, become him."
". what?" Oh lord. Maybe -he'd- gone daft too. Maybe I had. They should lock us all away in a padded room. I'm sure that as long as there was pudding, Keroberos would be thrilled.
"I've had dreams lately.. I've regained most of his memories.. "
I squeaked. ". Any of them with he and I?"
He smirked and looked at me, glasses slipping down his nose. "Everything."
. well. That was good to know.. Now I was torn between running away and flinging myself at him. I needed to say something; I know Clow hated awkward silences. "..Oh." Yes. That was perfect.
"Yue.. come here." He extended his hand to me, and I stared at it for a moment before slowly walking to him, slipping my hand into his. His skin felt so warm against mine.. Before I could pull away, Eriol had pulled me down and kissed me. I felt an uncharacteristic 'Wai!' coming on, and thankfully, I managed to repress it. I didn't even know I was shaking like a leaf until Eriol commented on it.
"A.. Are you really him?"
"Yue.. " He smiled faintly.
"Say it, damnit."
"Come here, my angel.."
As soon as he said that, I melted into his lap.. My fingers curled themselves around the fabric of his robes, my face found his shoulder, and I finally cried.. I hadn't cried since Clow died, and now that I had found him again, all of it was washing back. His fingers tangled in my hair, and he held me tightly.
I think I heard the door open, and Eriol's whisper to come back later, but I didn't look up. "Clow.." I whimpered, clinging tightly to him. Eriol didn't correct me; he merely smiled and rocked me back and forth, as one would do a crying child.. and that's what I felt like. but ask me if I cared. I had him back. "I love you.."
*
Shh.. Rest, my angel. Things will be better for you; I promise.. I will be here, and we will be as we were before.. pretty little angel.. I came back just for you, you know. You were my greatest creation.. my greatest weakness, and my greatest love. It was more wonderful than the memories had suggested.. I could certainly see how Clow .. how -I-? Oh well.. how -we- became so infatuated with him. "Ai shiteru, watashi no tenshi.. Sleep."
Yes, Yue. Sleep. Everything will be different in the morning. If you wish, you may share my bed tonight.. I wish to hold you again. Just rest.. I promise I won't leave. I smiled as I felt his body relax against mine.. He'd cried himself to sleep in my arms.. I pressed my lips against his forehead. He smiled in his sleep and snuggled close.. Well done, Clow.. Well done indeed.
Author's Notes: Okay, I didn't cry during -this- chapter, just in the last two -_-; Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed it, and I'm sorry it took so damn long to write. Ja ne!
-BM
However, tonight was not like every other anniversary I had silently suffered through. This time, I could feel him.. and it was stronger than Kinomoto Fujitaka's presence.. It felt like Clow Reed was nearby. ".. 'niisan.. Can you feel it?" I asked softly, looking over. Keroberos and I often spent the anniversaries up on the Kinomoto's roof, looking up at the moon. He looked back towards me and cocked his head for a moment.
"He's close by, Yue. I think Sakura mentioned something about Eriol returning from England."
". Oh."
So much for that tiny glimmer of hope. Eriol had long since explained to me that he was not Clow Reed, but merely a reincarnate, and I had given up on him regaining all of the memories of my dead lover.. Fujitaka was a lost cause completely. The man didn't know of his hidden powers at all.. and perhaps it was better that way. Keroberos must've seen the sadness on my face, because he grinned and stretched up, licking my cheek.
I yelped, nearly falling off the roof in surprise. "Ack! What was that for?"
"Cheer up, Yue."
". What?" I stared at him as if he was completely daft. And.. let's be honest here, it was a distinct possibility. We'd both been around a long time, and our clashing personalities would be enough to drive anyone mad.
"Go see Eriol.. "
"There's no point."
Before I could say anything further, I found myself pinned to the roof, choking on orange fur. "Whaddya mean, there's no point?!" Keroberos' Osaka accent began showing through his usually serious tone, and I couldn't help but smile a -little-.
"He doesn't remember."
"It's been what.. seven years?"
"Eight." I corrected softly, closing my eyes. Keroberos shook his head and let me up.
"Then go see the brother, why don'tcha?" "He wants Yukito. Not me. "
Keroberos sighed and shook his head again. "You're a lost cause, Yue.. Good night. " He nuzzled me on the cheek lightly and went into Sakura's bedroom, and in a moment, I could hear his faint snoring. I sighed, turning my gaze up to the moon, and a sad smile crossed my features. Clow had named me after the moon.. I couldn't help but wonder how many nights he spent like this; staring up at it; gazing at its beauty.
I decided to take Keroberos' advice and go to see Eriol.. It was better than nothing. Better than being alone as I had been. I flew to his home - it was late, no one saw me.. The last thing I needed was to be in one of those supermarket papers. When I got there, what was left of my heart almost shattered as soon as I saw him. He was sitting in the big chair in front of the fireplace.. and looked exactly like Clow.
"Welcome back, Yue." He said softly, without looking up. I was well aware of the tears rolling down my cheeks, and could barely resist the urge to run and hug him. 'This was not Clow.', I kept telling myself over and over.
"I.. I'm sorry. I just.."
"You felt Clow's presence."
"Yes."
"Well.. I suppose you should. I have, in all essence, become him."
". what?" Oh lord. Maybe -he'd- gone daft too. Maybe I had. They should lock us all away in a padded room. I'm sure that as long as there was pudding, Keroberos would be thrilled.
"I've had dreams lately.. I've regained most of his memories.. "
I squeaked. ". Any of them with he and I?"
He smirked and looked at me, glasses slipping down his nose. "Everything."
. well. That was good to know.. Now I was torn between running away and flinging myself at him. I needed to say something; I know Clow hated awkward silences. "..Oh." Yes. That was perfect.
"Yue.. come here." He extended his hand to me, and I stared at it for a moment before slowly walking to him, slipping my hand into his. His skin felt so warm against mine.. Before I could pull away, Eriol had pulled me down and kissed me. I felt an uncharacteristic 'Wai!' coming on, and thankfully, I managed to repress it. I didn't even know I was shaking like a leaf until Eriol commented on it.
"A.. Are you really him?"
"Yue.. " He smiled faintly.
"Say it, damnit."
"Come here, my angel.."
As soon as he said that, I melted into his lap.. My fingers curled themselves around the fabric of his robes, my face found his shoulder, and I finally cried.. I hadn't cried since Clow died, and now that I had found him again, all of it was washing back. His fingers tangled in my hair, and he held me tightly.
I think I heard the door open, and Eriol's whisper to come back later, but I didn't look up. "Clow.." I whimpered, clinging tightly to him. Eriol didn't correct me; he merely smiled and rocked me back and forth, as one would do a crying child.. and that's what I felt like. but ask me if I cared. I had him back. "I love you.."
*
Shh.. Rest, my angel. Things will be better for you; I promise.. I will be here, and we will be as we were before.. pretty little angel.. I came back just for you, you know. You were my greatest creation.. my greatest weakness, and my greatest love. It was more wonderful than the memories had suggested.. I could certainly see how Clow .. how -I-? Oh well.. how -we- became so infatuated with him. "Ai shiteru, watashi no tenshi.. Sleep."
Yes, Yue. Sleep. Everything will be different in the morning. If you wish, you may share my bed tonight.. I wish to hold you again. Just rest.. I promise I won't leave. I smiled as I felt his body relax against mine.. He'd cried himself to sleep in my arms.. I pressed my lips against his forehead. He smiled in his sleep and snuggled close.. Well done, Clow.. Well done indeed.
Author's Notes: Okay, I didn't cry during -this- chapter, just in the last two -_-; Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed it, and I'm sorry it took so damn long to write. Ja ne!
-BM