Ho ho. Just give our dastardly leading man some time, I promise he won't
let Kaoru down. well not permanently. Here is the last chapter I will post
until the end of January. I just won't have internet again until then, but
I thought I'd make a last push to get a chapter done. On the bright side,
when I do post again, I will probably have a fair number of chapters done
(plus another story I promised to make by the end of January) so my time
will not be idle entirely. So enjoy some E/K goodness.. Oh yeah, this
chapter gets a wee bit sexual, but then I took the R rating for a reason
and it not included just for the heck of it, there is a purpose character
development wise.
Disclaimer: Surprise! I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any of the characters in it. Oh well.
Chapter 5
It was unreasonably cold in front of her house, Enishi thought, and damned dark as well. A porch light or something would have been nice. He rubbed his hands together to keep out some chill and waited for someone to answer the door. He had been patient all day to wait for a time that Kaoru would certainly be home, not that he didn't have a good idea of her schedule, but he didn't want to seem like a stalker. That would be very disadvantageous to his plans. The coat looked very nice, and he made sure there was no clue to it having been cleaned. For some reason he hoped she would notice that on her own. It wasn't a very logical way to think, actually, since he should be going for all the points he could get. He dismissed the thought as the door gave a slight whine on its hinges and Kaoru presented herself before him.
"Oh, hello." She gave a faint smile and rallied her spirits to try to seem cheerful. "Come on in, it's rather cold out today."
Enishi stepped in with a lot on his mind. For one thing Kaoru looked about as dead inside as he often felt. There was a smile on her face, but that never said anything about a person, what you need to look at is the eyes. Hers were, for lack of a better term, vacant. There was nothing there, no happiness, no sadness, just a strange apathy that troubled him quite a lot to see. Something must have shocked her yesterday, and shocked her quite badly for her to fall into this kind of defensive system. The first thought that came to his mind was that he would find whoever did this and kill them in the most painful way possible. No one had the right to damage what was his. This inner play of thoughts would not have been apparent to Kaoru even if she had not been out of it; all she saw was Enishi stride into the living room.
"What brings you here this evening?" Sometimes Kaoru wished she could curl up and die, and now was one of those times. She had been thinking about Kenshin and Enishi all day. Often it came in snatches, but sometimes she would see the conversation with Kenshin in her mind's eye and this pain would start up in her chest. Now she was fairly numb, and that was good because she could get her work done, but with Enishi's appearance things were beginning to trouble her again.
Enishi held out her coat, and there was a brief flair of happy surprise before it faded like a candle being snuffed. She put the coat in the closet by the door and came back into the living room. They both stood a moment in silence and then Kaoru offered to show him the house. It seemed well enough, and even though he wasn't particularly interested he agreed to see it anyway. It didn't take too long, since it was just Kaoru and Megumi who lived there, but it was nice considering. Just one story, a kitchen, a living room, a den that Megumi used as a bedroom, then a small upstairs portion with a bathroom and Kaoru's bedroom. Kaoru blushed when they got to her room because she realized how bad it must look with all her books on the floor where she had been doing calculus and clothes scattered about with various papers and even a few CDs that she didn't remember ever throwing on the floor. Enishi took it all in and instead of being horrified by the disarray as he would have been normally felt like her room looked lived in. It was comfortable, even natural, and seemed appropriate so when she apologized repeatedly for the mess he paid no attention.
Megumi was doing some sort of science lab apparently, and wouldn't be back for a while. Kaoru asked if he wanted something to eat, since she hadn't made dinner yet for herself and could easily make enough for him too. Enishi declined; there was something dangerous about the tension that had been building between the two of them. Kaoru seemed perpetually on the verge of shutting down and still he asked nothing. She would tell him if he needed to know. But something in him burned to ask her anyway.
"Well." if Enishi wasn't going to have anything, Kaoru didn't know what to do. It was a terribly awkward silence that followed.
"Perhaps I should get going then. You seem. busy." He moved towards the door and Kaoru followed. "Nigh-"
"Wait," Kaoru interrupted softly as he reached for the doorknob. She needed some comfort so badly. Nothing felt right and the longer she pretended it was ok, the further down she slipped. Burying her face in Enishi's chest she began to sob like her heart was breaking. The stress of things was too much, and it was either crying alone or this. She was both glad and ashamed that Enishi was here for her like this.
Enishi, on his part, was incredibly shocked. Crying people are always difficult to deal with when you can't empathize with them. He didn't know what was wrong, and he couldn't even approach fixing it, but she was utterly pouring out her most base emotional turmoil right onto his chest. Sighing, he did all he could think to do, and that was wrap his arms around her. They stayed like that for a while, Kaoru quivering and crying mutedly into his shirt while he held her and looked down at her with an enigmatic expression. It took a few minutes until she calmed down. Extracting herself, she looked worn and about ready to collapse.
"I'm making too much out of all this." she said in a shaky voice "I'm a strong person, there isn't any reason for me to act like this, especially in front of you."
"That's alright." He didn't have anything to really comfort her with, but maybe he wasn't supposed to. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Not really." Kaoru gave him a smile and this time it reached her eyes, as puffy as they were. "Why do you want to be around me Enishi, I'm a basket case."
He smiled at her reassuringly. "Whatever is wrong, I'm sure it will get resolved soon." It struck him that she was vulnerable right now. He could strike out and seal her loyalty to him. It would be a dastardly thing to do in this moment. She'd probably even sleep with him right now if. oh damn. a forgotten spark of something, maybe his conscience, made him shiver. That might even be too evil for him. But that wasn't possible, the ends justified it, didn't it? He looked into her eyes and saw right through her into her thinly veiled pain and growing admiration for him. God, it would be like abusing a child, and he just couldn't do it. Inside he felt sick, why did he want to be around her indeed.
"Is something the matter?" Her variable mood was swinging back to sadness as he was silently debating something with a frown on his face.
"No, no. I'm just concerned about you." It was a decent save.
"You're such a good person." Oh that made him feel terrible. "I'll be fine soon enough."
"Would you like to go out with me on Saturday? I promise there will be no violence this time, we can even do something normal like go to a movie." He had to get out of here before she did something else to shake his resolve to act gentlemanly.
"Yes, I would love to." Enishi nodded and then opened the door. "Enishi?" He turned around, only to find Kaoru incredibly close. "Thank you." She brought his head down and kissed him slowly. Her lips were a little salty from her crying, but that didn't detract from the sensuality of the kiss. He could feel her body press against his, and his body react full heartedly to it. Her hand slid up under his shirt and her nails grazed his back. But just as he was starting to lose his grip on control, she ended the kiss and with a parting caress of his sides as she extracted her hands from his shirt as she pulled away. Even with his body burning, he keenly felt the loss of her warmth. "See you Saturday."
As the door closed Enishi felt like screaming at himself. Taking advantage of her would have jeopardized the plan. Yes. He had to keep telling himself that or he was going to go mad. And damn it all, next time he was very well going to take advantage of the little vixen. No one who could do this to his body could be THAT innocent.
*
While Kaoru was getting back to her calculus, slightly better emotionally than when she had begun it, Megumi was getting out of her lab. and heading straight for Kenshin's apartment. She needed to resolve some things with him. Sano had explained a lot of things to her, and that was all well and good. Yes yes, he was very pitiable, but just because you get damaged is no reason to curl up and die inside. He was dragging Kaoru down with him and she wasn't going to stand for it. They both needed, no, they both deserved better than that. The key lay with Kenshin. In her usual manner she knocked loudly and waited impatiently for Kenshin to answer the door. He answered with a tentative smile when he saw Megumi's face.
"Megumi, how are you? Please come in. I wasn't expecting any company tonight." Kenshin took her coat and offered her a seat.
"I have to talk to you Kenshin. You've made a terrible mistake." Megumi wanted to get straight to the point. "Kaoru has been in love with you for as long as I can remember, and all I know is last night she came home practically destroyed. She is barely functioning today and she was too broken to tell me what happened exactly but I think I know." Kenshin looked pale as Megumi talked but the smile never left his face. "I don't know what you said, but you've really hurt her. I want to know how you feel one way or another so that she can get on with her life. I don't like seeing my best friend hurting like this." Megumi felt better now. She liked taking action, it made things seem like they would all work out.
"Megumi, I understand your concern for Kaoru, but I can't tell you anything more certain than what I told her. I don't know how I feel. It isn't indifference, but I don't think it's love. I don't know what it is and it's been so long since I've been able to even think about having feelings for a woman again."
"That's a sad excuse Kenshin Himura, and you know it." Megumi did not like people who continually wallowed in their own sorrow. "If you don't take your own life into your hands you'll just go crazy with all the guilt inside of you. How can you not know this, you're a psych major! Seriously Kenshin, this is just ridiculous. Make a decision."
"I may be a psych major Megumi, but knowing how the mind works doesn't automatically erase pain, and what you're asking of me is not only difficult but presumptuous." Kenshin furrowed his brows and brushed a stray hair away from his face. "Besides, I don't want to drag Kaoru down into my misery. I would just be a burden to her. It would be so easy to get involved, but if I'm not emotionally committed beyond friendship I run the risk of really hurting her in the long run."
"Those are the words of a coward Kenshin." Megumi narrowed her eyes and spoke softly. "You won't take the chance, so you'll never know if you can heal. Maybe if you give Kaoru a chance then things will turn out for the better. You say you aren't indifferent and you say you're her friend, but is there anything else there at all? If there's even a spark of something, then it might be worth the try. This could be your chance to heal. Kaoru could be your redemption. But if you reject her now you'll never get another chance with her, I've seen this man she's with and he won't give up on her easily." Megumi felt bad for Kenshin, but if this is what Kaoru wanted then Megumi would do what she could to engineer it. It seemed like they would probably be good for one another once he got over this emotional hump.
"I'll think about it Megumi. I have a lot of things to think about." Kenshin tried valiantly to recapture his perpetual smile. It was so sad. Megumi all at once felt somewhat bad for putting so much pressure on him.
"Don't worry Kenshin, I'll help you. No one is in this life alone you know. I'm sure Sano will help too. We're all with you. What we want is for you and Kaoru to be happy." Megumi stood up and patted Kenshin's hand before she left. She turned to the still Kenshin with a glint in her eye. "You don't have much time though, so better take initiative soon."
Once she left Kenshin sat and thought to himself. He didn't want to lose Kaoru, did he? She had always been there and she was a nice person. Always so attentive and once he stripped away all the layers of decided sexual repression she was also fairly attractive. Was it enough? Was going out with Kaoru really what he needed to get over Tomoe? Or would it all be a sham, just some therapy from a friend who would then take it wrong and get hurt when Kenshin moved on? He wasn't sure. You never knew what your own biases were because you couldn't be truly objective. Psychology was so much easier to use on other people. Then of course there was the whole matter with her current boyfriend. if he was her boyfriend. They had only gone out a few times, because all this had happened pretty recently, but that did not mean that she wasn't already getting attached to him. That was another obstacle in addition to his own objections. He should try to meet this other man and try to understand what he would be competing against. That would probably be a good idea. But there was no way to do it casually that he could think of. It would be best to call Megumi tomorrow and ask her how he could meet this guy.
Kenshin sighed and got up from the chair. He had more work to do on his thesis. He really hadn't needed this sort of stress.
*
"So what movie are you guys seeing?" Megumi was sitting on the couch, remote in hand, while Sano struggled with some popcorn in the kitchen. His lack of skill doing pretty much anything resembling housework was amazing and his disastrous ineptitude extended to the kitchen and all its workings. He had already burned the first bag of microwave popcorn and was now struggling to open the second bag's plastic covering. Some colorful swear words floated into the living room over the sound of commercials.
Kaoru thought a moment. "I don't know. I think we'll catch whatever's playing at the art theater at around nine, then maybe catch something to eat somewhere. It's not like I make fixed plans, it's more exciting this way." She brushed out her hair and lobbed the thing up the stairs. She'd pick it up later. Tying up her hair in a slightly messy bun and grabbing a scarf, she heard a knock at the door.
"You're late." Kaoru smiled brightly at Enishi.
"You're not ready yet." He answered back. She looked much happier than the last time he saw her. That's good, spending an emotionally charged evening with a girl at the point of breaking did not exactly sound like fun. But he would have tolerated it if it had come down to that.
"Fair enough. Let me grab my coat and we can go. I think we should go to the art theater tonight. It should be good, it almost always is."
Kaoru rushed out the door with Enishi shortly after, Megumi heard him say something about how tortured artists shouldn't give their gift of pain to the public, but Kaoru just laughed it off. They would go to the art theater. As soon as Megumi heard the sound of a car start up, she rushed over to the phone. Sano walked in with some popcorn, at last, proud to have only gone through one test package when he heard Megumi's conversation.
".so just walk in and go to the next show and pretend to run into them by chance.. No. yes. don't be silly.. Yes it will work. don't say that. Kenshin. Just do it! Good luck, bye." She looked at Sano's wry expression. "What?"
"Are you sure you should get involved? This doesn't have anything to do with you really." Sano was very skeptical about messing in people's personal lives, as it almost always did not benefit anything in the long run.
"Of course it has something to do with me!" Megumi exclaimed. "Kaoru is my best friend and I want her to be happy. She's wanted Kenshin for forever and now he's starting to maybe want her back."
"But Kaoru seems to be doing fine on her own, I mean she did meet someone on her own. You didn't have any part of that. The mess with Kenshin will pass and she could still be ok without him." Sano steered Megumi to the couch and dug into the popcorn.
"You may be right." Sano smirked. "MAYBE. But I'll still do what I think is best for Kaoru. If she's going to give up on Kenshin then she needs to know that she isn't just doing it because she had to. If Enishi is just a poor second choice then I can't let her do that to herself. Besides, if she does want Kenshin then it would be good for him too. He has to get over that emotional baggage sometime and the sooner the better."
"Mmmm." It was a noncommittal answer, but with Megumi that was often the best way to end a discussion.
*
"Admit you liked it." Kaoru was dancing around, glad to be in the cold and fresh air after the stuffy theater. The seats were none too comfortable either, but that's the way it was at little places like this.
"If I admit my mistaken prejudice, then what do I get?" Enishi smiled at her energetic behavior.
"Hmmm. A penny!" Kaoru laughed.
"A penny? I don't know if it's worth it. A penny doesn't get me much." It looked like it was threatening to snow. Enishi hoped it would. He liked the way it made everything formless and almost uniform. It was a comfortable sort of absorption.
"This penny is magic. It will give you one wish. within reason. Even magic pennies can't do everything, plus this one is pretty new."
"Then I admit I liked it." He hadn't really cared either way, so it wasn't exactly a lie.
"Here is your penny sir, what shall you wish for?" Kaoru laughed again as she dropped a penny into Enishi's hand. He looked at it a moment, a smile touching the corner of his mouth. I don't suppose she can raise the dead. It was a morbid thought to be having. He dismissed it quickly. Before he could give his answer, a familiar voice cut through his nerves.
"Kaoru, how are you tonight?" Himura. Naturally. What a way to ruin a night. Anger seethed inside of him. For a moment he idly wondered if he could make a wish that Himura die slowly and painfully in front of him.
"I'm fine Kenshin. You here to see the film?" They started to talk a bit. He waited for what was going to come eventually. It felt too soon. He hadn't had enough time with her. He needed at least another month or two. But things could be moved up a notch. There was always room for movement.
"Kenshin, I want you to meet Enishi." Kaoru turned towards him finally and Enishi found himself staring directly into the guileless violet eyes of the man he wanted to destroy with every fiber of his being. "Enishi, this is my friend Kenshin. Have you met before?"
"We haven't had the. pleasure of meeting one another." Enishi smiled his most insincere smile. "Enishi Yukishiro. Good to meet you."
Enishi watched in glorious pleasure as Kenshin, who surely had not picked up on the family resemblance because of the white hair and more masculine features, but there was a healthy likeness to Tomoe in Enishi's features. The last name would have to tip him off. It must have because the already pale Kenshin lost nearly all of his color and looked about ready to vomit. Kaoru was unaware of what was going on, but her high on life was wearing off in the presence of the most stressful aspects of her life together in the same spot. She pushed at her temple as if she were getting a headache. The grin never left her face. It would have been funny to Enishi that all of them were smiling but so far from any happy emotion that it was sickening. Enishi never blinked as he stared straight into Kenshin's eyes. Kaoru was the first to break the tension by mentioning that they should get going if they were going to get something to eat. She said a quick goodbye, which Kenshin echoed faintly and turned to go to the car.
Enishi lingered a moment. Leaning towards Kenshin's ear as he passed him he murmured: "You took Tomoe from me, it's only fair I should get Kaoru." Kenshin's eyes flashed in sadness and then anger. "Enjoy your time with her while you can, the future is very uncertain you know." Perfect. Ambiguous but threatening. Pretty good for a spur of the moment threat.
Kenshin's eyed tracked the two of them as they got in the car and drove off. So that was Kaoru's boyfriend.
*
Kaoru tried to regain her good humor. She had been pretty shaken up by seeing Kenshin. Dinner had been almost flavorless because of her agitated state, and the pauses in conversation had been long and terrible. Enishi deserved better. Maybe an explanation or something, but she didn't want to start a conversation like that tonight. If she were lucky she would never have to have that conversation with him.
"I want to see your house. I don't even really know who you live with or who your friends are or anything. You've met most of my really good friends already." Kaoru thought maybe that would take her mind off things.
"It's not even 1 in the morning yet, so I'm sure all my roommates are out drinking still. They won't be home until the parties dies. or all their brain cells. whatever." Enishi knew that Kaoru was highly aggravated. "As for friends. that is a little complicated too. I don't know if I have friends like you have friends. All my friends are more acquaintances who share more interests with me and some conversation above other less personal acquaintances. I'm sure you think that sounds very lonely."
"I was thinking that actually. How could you go through life like that?" Kaoru thought she would just go mad if she had to face a life essentially alone. At least that's what it sounded like he was saying, that he went though life alone. It surprised her that he didn't seem sad about it in the least.
Enishi found himself actually giving her a direct answer, much to his surprise. "At first it was difficult, but you get used to it. Eventually you think that your isolation sets you apart, makes you more independent and through that special. Really it is mainly boring and empty. People can get used to almost anything given enough conditioning." He felt like he had said to much. Pulling up next to the curb he got out without a word.
"We're at." Kaoru felt odd all of a sudden, different from the upset feelings of before.
"My house. You said you wanted to see it. You gave me the full tour of your place."
It didn't take too long to see everything, though it was a larger house and even had a basement. The basement was particularly dark with lots of sectioned off storage spaces that created scary black shadows in the lighting provided some flickering bare bulbs. Enishi jumped out at her when she was looking into one of them and was suddenly glad his roommates weren't home because the scream Kaoru emitted was deafening. To make matters worse, her first reaction as she screamed was to turn and hit him. Not expecting an attack, he only avoided the full force managing to deflect it into a glancing blow. But even a glancing blow to the kidney is enough to hurt pretty badly. Kaoru was immediately sorry as she apologized all the way up the stairs and into the living room as Enishi pretended fatal injury. Kaoru sat next to him and asked if there was anything she could do to make it better.
"Kiss it." He said jokingly, but then realized that he meant it seriously. Her lips, his skin. suddenly he wasn't in a joking mood in the least. All his energy focused as anger at Kenshin, just simmering in his mind, dissipated and was redirected towards more pleasant things. Kaoru blushed, but obligingly lifted up the side of his shirt and pressed her cool lips to his side. "That magic penny still good?" Enishi asked. It was about time to make his claim on her in a way Kenshin never would, (if he had any say in it). She nodded, still blushing. "And it's a reasonable request?" He didn't want her to feel threatened or forced.
"Depends." Her tongue quickly moistened her dry lips, her nervousness apparent. "I'll tell you when it isn't reasonable." That's all he needed to know. Standing up, he led her into his room. Kaoru slid Enishi's shirt off and ran her hands over his chest as he unbuttoned hers in his usual efficient way he did everything. He was all skin and muscle, not large bulky muscle either, but the lean kind that stretched and responded to her prodding. Kicking off shoes, Kaoru worked off the clasps of her skirt and then went to lay on the bed in her undergarments.
The actions were so familiar to Enishi. Removal of clothing, getting the condom. but the surge of anticipation and the adrenaline making him almost shake was a new thing to deal with. Why did this girl have such power over him? He'd slept with lots of girls over the years, and Kaoru surely had been with a boy or two. best not to think of that as he'd just want to cut them down with his sword if he knew who they were. Kaoru was his. It was a primal thought; maybe he was no better than an animal. Yet, he refused to degrade this either as portraying it as merely an instinctual process or in the same light as his other trysts. This was special. What about revenge? a part of his mind called out. That made him pause a moment as he lowered himself next to Kaoru. It's all for revenge.
The thought faded as his skin met hers and one of her hands twined in his hair with the other softly raking his back with its nails, raising goosebumps. He enjoyed the taste of the skin at her neck, salty and sweet, and felt a rush of power as he made her moan softly. Her passion seemed so pure, and Enishi gloried in her body like it was his way to redemption. He was filth, he was using her, but in this moment it didn't matter. And with that thought Kaoru got tired of passively enjoying herself and forced him beneath her.
"You're so beautiful." Kaoru whispered in his ear before moving her head lower, and that was the last thing either of them said until morning.
Disclaimer: Surprise! I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any of the characters in it. Oh well.
Chapter 5
It was unreasonably cold in front of her house, Enishi thought, and damned dark as well. A porch light or something would have been nice. He rubbed his hands together to keep out some chill and waited for someone to answer the door. He had been patient all day to wait for a time that Kaoru would certainly be home, not that he didn't have a good idea of her schedule, but he didn't want to seem like a stalker. That would be very disadvantageous to his plans. The coat looked very nice, and he made sure there was no clue to it having been cleaned. For some reason he hoped she would notice that on her own. It wasn't a very logical way to think, actually, since he should be going for all the points he could get. He dismissed the thought as the door gave a slight whine on its hinges and Kaoru presented herself before him.
"Oh, hello." She gave a faint smile and rallied her spirits to try to seem cheerful. "Come on in, it's rather cold out today."
Enishi stepped in with a lot on his mind. For one thing Kaoru looked about as dead inside as he often felt. There was a smile on her face, but that never said anything about a person, what you need to look at is the eyes. Hers were, for lack of a better term, vacant. There was nothing there, no happiness, no sadness, just a strange apathy that troubled him quite a lot to see. Something must have shocked her yesterday, and shocked her quite badly for her to fall into this kind of defensive system. The first thought that came to his mind was that he would find whoever did this and kill them in the most painful way possible. No one had the right to damage what was his. This inner play of thoughts would not have been apparent to Kaoru even if she had not been out of it; all she saw was Enishi stride into the living room.
"What brings you here this evening?" Sometimes Kaoru wished she could curl up and die, and now was one of those times. She had been thinking about Kenshin and Enishi all day. Often it came in snatches, but sometimes she would see the conversation with Kenshin in her mind's eye and this pain would start up in her chest. Now she was fairly numb, and that was good because she could get her work done, but with Enishi's appearance things were beginning to trouble her again.
Enishi held out her coat, and there was a brief flair of happy surprise before it faded like a candle being snuffed. She put the coat in the closet by the door and came back into the living room. They both stood a moment in silence and then Kaoru offered to show him the house. It seemed well enough, and even though he wasn't particularly interested he agreed to see it anyway. It didn't take too long, since it was just Kaoru and Megumi who lived there, but it was nice considering. Just one story, a kitchen, a living room, a den that Megumi used as a bedroom, then a small upstairs portion with a bathroom and Kaoru's bedroom. Kaoru blushed when they got to her room because she realized how bad it must look with all her books on the floor where she had been doing calculus and clothes scattered about with various papers and even a few CDs that she didn't remember ever throwing on the floor. Enishi took it all in and instead of being horrified by the disarray as he would have been normally felt like her room looked lived in. It was comfortable, even natural, and seemed appropriate so when she apologized repeatedly for the mess he paid no attention.
Megumi was doing some sort of science lab apparently, and wouldn't be back for a while. Kaoru asked if he wanted something to eat, since she hadn't made dinner yet for herself and could easily make enough for him too. Enishi declined; there was something dangerous about the tension that had been building between the two of them. Kaoru seemed perpetually on the verge of shutting down and still he asked nothing. She would tell him if he needed to know. But something in him burned to ask her anyway.
"Well." if Enishi wasn't going to have anything, Kaoru didn't know what to do. It was a terribly awkward silence that followed.
"Perhaps I should get going then. You seem. busy." He moved towards the door and Kaoru followed. "Nigh-"
"Wait," Kaoru interrupted softly as he reached for the doorknob. She needed some comfort so badly. Nothing felt right and the longer she pretended it was ok, the further down she slipped. Burying her face in Enishi's chest she began to sob like her heart was breaking. The stress of things was too much, and it was either crying alone or this. She was both glad and ashamed that Enishi was here for her like this.
Enishi, on his part, was incredibly shocked. Crying people are always difficult to deal with when you can't empathize with them. He didn't know what was wrong, and he couldn't even approach fixing it, but she was utterly pouring out her most base emotional turmoil right onto his chest. Sighing, he did all he could think to do, and that was wrap his arms around her. They stayed like that for a while, Kaoru quivering and crying mutedly into his shirt while he held her and looked down at her with an enigmatic expression. It took a few minutes until she calmed down. Extracting herself, she looked worn and about ready to collapse.
"I'm making too much out of all this." she said in a shaky voice "I'm a strong person, there isn't any reason for me to act like this, especially in front of you."
"That's alright." He didn't have anything to really comfort her with, but maybe he wasn't supposed to. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Not really." Kaoru gave him a smile and this time it reached her eyes, as puffy as they were. "Why do you want to be around me Enishi, I'm a basket case."
He smiled at her reassuringly. "Whatever is wrong, I'm sure it will get resolved soon." It struck him that she was vulnerable right now. He could strike out and seal her loyalty to him. It would be a dastardly thing to do in this moment. She'd probably even sleep with him right now if. oh damn. a forgotten spark of something, maybe his conscience, made him shiver. That might even be too evil for him. But that wasn't possible, the ends justified it, didn't it? He looked into her eyes and saw right through her into her thinly veiled pain and growing admiration for him. God, it would be like abusing a child, and he just couldn't do it. Inside he felt sick, why did he want to be around her indeed.
"Is something the matter?" Her variable mood was swinging back to sadness as he was silently debating something with a frown on his face.
"No, no. I'm just concerned about you." It was a decent save.
"You're such a good person." Oh that made him feel terrible. "I'll be fine soon enough."
"Would you like to go out with me on Saturday? I promise there will be no violence this time, we can even do something normal like go to a movie." He had to get out of here before she did something else to shake his resolve to act gentlemanly.
"Yes, I would love to." Enishi nodded and then opened the door. "Enishi?" He turned around, only to find Kaoru incredibly close. "Thank you." She brought his head down and kissed him slowly. Her lips were a little salty from her crying, but that didn't detract from the sensuality of the kiss. He could feel her body press against his, and his body react full heartedly to it. Her hand slid up under his shirt and her nails grazed his back. But just as he was starting to lose his grip on control, she ended the kiss and with a parting caress of his sides as she extracted her hands from his shirt as she pulled away. Even with his body burning, he keenly felt the loss of her warmth. "See you Saturday."
As the door closed Enishi felt like screaming at himself. Taking advantage of her would have jeopardized the plan. Yes. He had to keep telling himself that or he was going to go mad. And damn it all, next time he was very well going to take advantage of the little vixen. No one who could do this to his body could be THAT innocent.
*
While Kaoru was getting back to her calculus, slightly better emotionally than when she had begun it, Megumi was getting out of her lab. and heading straight for Kenshin's apartment. She needed to resolve some things with him. Sano had explained a lot of things to her, and that was all well and good. Yes yes, he was very pitiable, but just because you get damaged is no reason to curl up and die inside. He was dragging Kaoru down with him and she wasn't going to stand for it. They both needed, no, they both deserved better than that. The key lay with Kenshin. In her usual manner she knocked loudly and waited impatiently for Kenshin to answer the door. He answered with a tentative smile when he saw Megumi's face.
"Megumi, how are you? Please come in. I wasn't expecting any company tonight." Kenshin took her coat and offered her a seat.
"I have to talk to you Kenshin. You've made a terrible mistake." Megumi wanted to get straight to the point. "Kaoru has been in love with you for as long as I can remember, and all I know is last night she came home practically destroyed. She is barely functioning today and she was too broken to tell me what happened exactly but I think I know." Kenshin looked pale as Megumi talked but the smile never left his face. "I don't know what you said, but you've really hurt her. I want to know how you feel one way or another so that she can get on with her life. I don't like seeing my best friend hurting like this." Megumi felt better now. She liked taking action, it made things seem like they would all work out.
"Megumi, I understand your concern for Kaoru, but I can't tell you anything more certain than what I told her. I don't know how I feel. It isn't indifference, but I don't think it's love. I don't know what it is and it's been so long since I've been able to even think about having feelings for a woman again."
"That's a sad excuse Kenshin Himura, and you know it." Megumi did not like people who continually wallowed in their own sorrow. "If you don't take your own life into your hands you'll just go crazy with all the guilt inside of you. How can you not know this, you're a psych major! Seriously Kenshin, this is just ridiculous. Make a decision."
"I may be a psych major Megumi, but knowing how the mind works doesn't automatically erase pain, and what you're asking of me is not only difficult but presumptuous." Kenshin furrowed his brows and brushed a stray hair away from his face. "Besides, I don't want to drag Kaoru down into my misery. I would just be a burden to her. It would be so easy to get involved, but if I'm not emotionally committed beyond friendship I run the risk of really hurting her in the long run."
"Those are the words of a coward Kenshin." Megumi narrowed her eyes and spoke softly. "You won't take the chance, so you'll never know if you can heal. Maybe if you give Kaoru a chance then things will turn out for the better. You say you aren't indifferent and you say you're her friend, but is there anything else there at all? If there's even a spark of something, then it might be worth the try. This could be your chance to heal. Kaoru could be your redemption. But if you reject her now you'll never get another chance with her, I've seen this man she's with and he won't give up on her easily." Megumi felt bad for Kenshin, but if this is what Kaoru wanted then Megumi would do what she could to engineer it. It seemed like they would probably be good for one another once he got over this emotional hump.
"I'll think about it Megumi. I have a lot of things to think about." Kenshin tried valiantly to recapture his perpetual smile. It was so sad. Megumi all at once felt somewhat bad for putting so much pressure on him.
"Don't worry Kenshin, I'll help you. No one is in this life alone you know. I'm sure Sano will help too. We're all with you. What we want is for you and Kaoru to be happy." Megumi stood up and patted Kenshin's hand before she left. She turned to the still Kenshin with a glint in her eye. "You don't have much time though, so better take initiative soon."
Once she left Kenshin sat and thought to himself. He didn't want to lose Kaoru, did he? She had always been there and she was a nice person. Always so attentive and once he stripped away all the layers of decided sexual repression she was also fairly attractive. Was it enough? Was going out with Kaoru really what he needed to get over Tomoe? Or would it all be a sham, just some therapy from a friend who would then take it wrong and get hurt when Kenshin moved on? He wasn't sure. You never knew what your own biases were because you couldn't be truly objective. Psychology was so much easier to use on other people. Then of course there was the whole matter with her current boyfriend. if he was her boyfriend. They had only gone out a few times, because all this had happened pretty recently, but that did not mean that she wasn't already getting attached to him. That was another obstacle in addition to his own objections. He should try to meet this other man and try to understand what he would be competing against. That would probably be a good idea. But there was no way to do it casually that he could think of. It would be best to call Megumi tomorrow and ask her how he could meet this guy.
Kenshin sighed and got up from the chair. He had more work to do on his thesis. He really hadn't needed this sort of stress.
*
"So what movie are you guys seeing?" Megumi was sitting on the couch, remote in hand, while Sano struggled with some popcorn in the kitchen. His lack of skill doing pretty much anything resembling housework was amazing and his disastrous ineptitude extended to the kitchen and all its workings. He had already burned the first bag of microwave popcorn and was now struggling to open the second bag's plastic covering. Some colorful swear words floated into the living room over the sound of commercials.
Kaoru thought a moment. "I don't know. I think we'll catch whatever's playing at the art theater at around nine, then maybe catch something to eat somewhere. It's not like I make fixed plans, it's more exciting this way." She brushed out her hair and lobbed the thing up the stairs. She'd pick it up later. Tying up her hair in a slightly messy bun and grabbing a scarf, she heard a knock at the door.
"You're late." Kaoru smiled brightly at Enishi.
"You're not ready yet." He answered back. She looked much happier than the last time he saw her. That's good, spending an emotionally charged evening with a girl at the point of breaking did not exactly sound like fun. But he would have tolerated it if it had come down to that.
"Fair enough. Let me grab my coat and we can go. I think we should go to the art theater tonight. It should be good, it almost always is."
Kaoru rushed out the door with Enishi shortly after, Megumi heard him say something about how tortured artists shouldn't give their gift of pain to the public, but Kaoru just laughed it off. They would go to the art theater. As soon as Megumi heard the sound of a car start up, she rushed over to the phone. Sano walked in with some popcorn, at last, proud to have only gone through one test package when he heard Megumi's conversation.
".so just walk in and go to the next show and pretend to run into them by chance.. No. yes. don't be silly.. Yes it will work. don't say that. Kenshin. Just do it! Good luck, bye." She looked at Sano's wry expression. "What?"
"Are you sure you should get involved? This doesn't have anything to do with you really." Sano was very skeptical about messing in people's personal lives, as it almost always did not benefit anything in the long run.
"Of course it has something to do with me!" Megumi exclaimed. "Kaoru is my best friend and I want her to be happy. She's wanted Kenshin for forever and now he's starting to maybe want her back."
"But Kaoru seems to be doing fine on her own, I mean she did meet someone on her own. You didn't have any part of that. The mess with Kenshin will pass and she could still be ok without him." Sano steered Megumi to the couch and dug into the popcorn.
"You may be right." Sano smirked. "MAYBE. But I'll still do what I think is best for Kaoru. If she's going to give up on Kenshin then she needs to know that she isn't just doing it because she had to. If Enishi is just a poor second choice then I can't let her do that to herself. Besides, if she does want Kenshin then it would be good for him too. He has to get over that emotional baggage sometime and the sooner the better."
"Mmmm." It was a noncommittal answer, but with Megumi that was often the best way to end a discussion.
*
"Admit you liked it." Kaoru was dancing around, glad to be in the cold and fresh air after the stuffy theater. The seats were none too comfortable either, but that's the way it was at little places like this.
"If I admit my mistaken prejudice, then what do I get?" Enishi smiled at her energetic behavior.
"Hmmm. A penny!" Kaoru laughed.
"A penny? I don't know if it's worth it. A penny doesn't get me much." It looked like it was threatening to snow. Enishi hoped it would. He liked the way it made everything formless and almost uniform. It was a comfortable sort of absorption.
"This penny is magic. It will give you one wish. within reason. Even magic pennies can't do everything, plus this one is pretty new."
"Then I admit I liked it." He hadn't really cared either way, so it wasn't exactly a lie.
"Here is your penny sir, what shall you wish for?" Kaoru laughed again as she dropped a penny into Enishi's hand. He looked at it a moment, a smile touching the corner of his mouth. I don't suppose she can raise the dead. It was a morbid thought to be having. He dismissed it quickly. Before he could give his answer, a familiar voice cut through his nerves.
"Kaoru, how are you tonight?" Himura. Naturally. What a way to ruin a night. Anger seethed inside of him. For a moment he idly wondered if he could make a wish that Himura die slowly and painfully in front of him.
"I'm fine Kenshin. You here to see the film?" They started to talk a bit. He waited for what was going to come eventually. It felt too soon. He hadn't had enough time with her. He needed at least another month or two. But things could be moved up a notch. There was always room for movement.
"Kenshin, I want you to meet Enishi." Kaoru turned towards him finally and Enishi found himself staring directly into the guileless violet eyes of the man he wanted to destroy with every fiber of his being. "Enishi, this is my friend Kenshin. Have you met before?"
"We haven't had the. pleasure of meeting one another." Enishi smiled his most insincere smile. "Enishi Yukishiro. Good to meet you."
Enishi watched in glorious pleasure as Kenshin, who surely had not picked up on the family resemblance because of the white hair and more masculine features, but there was a healthy likeness to Tomoe in Enishi's features. The last name would have to tip him off. It must have because the already pale Kenshin lost nearly all of his color and looked about ready to vomit. Kaoru was unaware of what was going on, but her high on life was wearing off in the presence of the most stressful aspects of her life together in the same spot. She pushed at her temple as if she were getting a headache. The grin never left her face. It would have been funny to Enishi that all of them were smiling but so far from any happy emotion that it was sickening. Enishi never blinked as he stared straight into Kenshin's eyes. Kaoru was the first to break the tension by mentioning that they should get going if they were going to get something to eat. She said a quick goodbye, which Kenshin echoed faintly and turned to go to the car.
Enishi lingered a moment. Leaning towards Kenshin's ear as he passed him he murmured: "You took Tomoe from me, it's only fair I should get Kaoru." Kenshin's eyes flashed in sadness and then anger. "Enjoy your time with her while you can, the future is very uncertain you know." Perfect. Ambiguous but threatening. Pretty good for a spur of the moment threat.
Kenshin's eyed tracked the two of them as they got in the car and drove off. So that was Kaoru's boyfriend.
*
Kaoru tried to regain her good humor. She had been pretty shaken up by seeing Kenshin. Dinner had been almost flavorless because of her agitated state, and the pauses in conversation had been long and terrible. Enishi deserved better. Maybe an explanation or something, but she didn't want to start a conversation like that tonight. If she were lucky she would never have to have that conversation with him.
"I want to see your house. I don't even really know who you live with or who your friends are or anything. You've met most of my really good friends already." Kaoru thought maybe that would take her mind off things.
"It's not even 1 in the morning yet, so I'm sure all my roommates are out drinking still. They won't be home until the parties dies. or all their brain cells. whatever." Enishi knew that Kaoru was highly aggravated. "As for friends. that is a little complicated too. I don't know if I have friends like you have friends. All my friends are more acquaintances who share more interests with me and some conversation above other less personal acquaintances. I'm sure you think that sounds very lonely."
"I was thinking that actually. How could you go through life like that?" Kaoru thought she would just go mad if she had to face a life essentially alone. At least that's what it sounded like he was saying, that he went though life alone. It surprised her that he didn't seem sad about it in the least.
Enishi found himself actually giving her a direct answer, much to his surprise. "At first it was difficult, but you get used to it. Eventually you think that your isolation sets you apart, makes you more independent and through that special. Really it is mainly boring and empty. People can get used to almost anything given enough conditioning." He felt like he had said to much. Pulling up next to the curb he got out without a word.
"We're at." Kaoru felt odd all of a sudden, different from the upset feelings of before.
"My house. You said you wanted to see it. You gave me the full tour of your place."
It didn't take too long to see everything, though it was a larger house and even had a basement. The basement was particularly dark with lots of sectioned off storage spaces that created scary black shadows in the lighting provided some flickering bare bulbs. Enishi jumped out at her when she was looking into one of them and was suddenly glad his roommates weren't home because the scream Kaoru emitted was deafening. To make matters worse, her first reaction as she screamed was to turn and hit him. Not expecting an attack, he only avoided the full force managing to deflect it into a glancing blow. But even a glancing blow to the kidney is enough to hurt pretty badly. Kaoru was immediately sorry as she apologized all the way up the stairs and into the living room as Enishi pretended fatal injury. Kaoru sat next to him and asked if there was anything she could do to make it better.
"Kiss it." He said jokingly, but then realized that he meant it seriously. Her lips, his skin. suddenly he wasn't in a joking mood in the least. All his energy focused as anger at Kenshin, just simmering in his mind, dissipated and was redirected towards more pleasant things. Kaoru blushed, but obligingly lifted up the side of his shirt and pressed her cool lips to his side. "That magic penny still good?" Enishi asked. It was about time to make his claim on her in a way Kenshin never would, (if he had any say in it). She nodded, still blushing. "And it's a reasonable request?" He didn't want her to feel threatened or forced.
"Depends." Her tongue quickly moistened her dry lips, her nervousness apparent. "I'll tell you when it isn't reasonable." That's all he needed to know. Standing up, he led her into his room. Kaoru slid Enishi's shirt off and ran her hands over his chest as he unbuttoned hers in his usual efficient way he did everything. He was all skin and muscle, not large bulky muscle either, but the lean kind that stretched and responded to her prodding. Kicking off shoes, Kaoru worked off the clasps of her skirt and then went to lay on the bed in her undergarments.
The actions were so familiar to Enishi. Removal of clothing, getting the condom. but the surge of anticipation and the adrenaline making him almost shake was a new thing to deal with. Why did this girl have such power over him? He'd slept with lots of girls over the years, and Kaoru surely had been with a boy or two. best not to think of that as he'd just want to cut them down with his sword if he knew who they were. Kaoru was his. It was a primal thought; maybe he was no better than an animal. Yet, he refused to degrade this either as portraying it as merely an instinctual process or in the same light as his other trysts. This was special. What about revenge? a part of his mind called out. That made him pause a moment as he lowered himself next to Kaoru. It's all for revenge.
The thought faded as his skin met hers and one of her hands twined in his hair with the other softly raking his back with its nails, raising goosebumps. He enjoyed the taste of the skin at her neck, salty and sweet, and felt a rush of power as he made her moan softly. Her passion seemed so pure, and Enishi gloried in her body like it was his way to redemption. He was filth, he was using her, but in this moment it didn't matter. And with that thought Kaoru got tired of passively enjoying herself and forced him beneath her.
"You're so beautiful." Kaoru whispered in his ear before moving her head lower, and that was the last thing either of them said until morning.