This chapter has been revised and re-uploaded! Nothing really significant changed, except that I changed the part about how the tribe is accepting Alanna as one of them, mainly because ThePenMage was nit-picking. ThePenMage: You nit-picker, you! If you're not happy now, I'm going to was my hands of you. So you better be happy. If you're not, I'll be VERY unhappy with you and your nitpicking.
Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait, but it couldn't be helped. The eccentricities of technology, people. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Here's the chapter everyone's been waiting for. Ha ha, those of you who were mad that my last update was only an author's note. For those of you who didn't see the last update, it was just a note which I replaced with this beautiful chapter. Actually, that last update was basically a cheap way to get my story up on the first page again and thus glean more readers and reviews. But it worked, didn't it? You may not have liked it, but it worked. I have... ::goes to count reviews:: 40 reviews! I'm not updating again after this until I get… ::does some more mental math, then gives up and reaches for a calculator:: 50 reviews! ::looks defensively around:: So what if I can't add anymore! It's the public school system, I tell you! It's all their fault! And I'm not stupid. I can do trigonometry. I just can't do addition. Except I despise trigonometry. It's not math, it's just using a calculator. And I never remember what the stupid Greek symbols are called. But you don't care about my math skills, do you? Of course not. Hmmm, there was something else I wanted to say. Oh yeah. Someone else put me on their favorites list! Thank you, Dunfalathwen! Did I spell that right? I hope so. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Particular notes are at the bottom, because of a recent reviewer complaint. And oh yes. REVIEW! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I keep forgetting to do these. See the first chapter, and I think the third chapter too. Anyway, you know it's not mine, so don't get mad if I forget to do them again.
Chapter 5: The Bazhir
The copper-haired girl stirred on the mat. The men talking softly around her turned their attention to the slumbering stranger.
Purple eyes opened sleepily and blinked. The girl stretched, still waking up. Bazhir eyes watched her, unblinking. The girl awakened to find three men gazing down at her.
"Where—where am I? Who are you?"
"You are with the tribe of the Sunset Dragon," the tallest of the three said. "I am the headman, Halef Seif." He indicated the green-robed man next to him. "This is the tribe's shaman, Umar Komm. (A/N: My Sunset Dragon is a kind of mix of the Bloody Hawk and the Sunset Dragon, the tribe Umar Komm came from when he came to the school of shamans in Woman Who Rides Like A Man.) Why do you trespass on Bazhir land?" Alanna gulped.
"I—I didn't know I was trespassing. I didn't mean to be here. I got lost, in the storm, and I couldn't find my way out of the desert." She stopped, waiting for their response. The headman spoke up again.
"How did you meet with the hillmen?"
"I was lost, and I saw an oasis. I rode toward it, and I was almost there when I realized there was a group of hillmen resting there. I tried to get away, but they saw me, so I ran." Alanna looked for a reaction from her listeners, and saw only impassive faces, so motionless they could have been carved from stone. She went on, shaking inside, but outwardly calm. "I stopped and pulled out my bow, but I ran out of arrows, and Silvermoon couldn't run anymore, so I called fire with my Gift. They ran." She hesitated. "I don't really remember anything after that. I think I must've blacked out." The third man looked for permission to speak from Halef Seif, and at his nod, addressed Alanna.
"I saw you call flames from the heavens to overcome the hillmen. When they were gone, you fell forward onto your mare's neck. I took you and the horse to the headman and told him what I had seen. He summoned the shaman, and I brought you here." Silence fell over the little group as Alanna absorbed the information.
"Have you anywhere to go from here?" inquired the headman. Alanna shook her head.
"Not really, sir," Alanna replied respectfully. "I had planned to go to Corus and find work there, but I could as easily remain here."
"Well, little warrior, you managed to defeat an entire band of hillmen by yourself," said the green-robed shaman. "That argues for a very powerful Gift, and considerable fighting skills. I hardly think the tribe will feel it necessary to hold a trial-by-combat after you successfully fought off a full band of hillmen alone.
"With your permission," he nodded toward the headman, "and the tribe's approval, I would like to take this girl on as an apprentice." He turned to Alanna. "Would that be agreeable to you?" Alanna nodded.
"Certainly, sir. I have nothing I will miss, except perhaps my brother, but I would not be with him anyway."
The headman nodded. "Tonight we will present you to the tribe, and hopefully, make you one of us."
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Sorry if that felt cliffhangery. I can't seem to help writing cliffhangers. If that bugs you, I'm sorry. I know it bugs me when I have to read them, but hey, what can I say? Okay, here's all my individual responses!
ThePenMage: Nitpicker. I was close enough. ::tries to glare, then cracks up:: Okay, we'll ignore that for now. As for your idea, that is GOOD. That is exactly the kind of thing I want from people. I may not change the uploaded version, because that tends to annoy people, but I will probably add in some in my normal draft, and I will make sure to check on that in my later chapters. Your school sounds really funky. My school is cool too. Well, actually, it's not, really, but we do have good fries. It tastes like you're eating at McDonalds. Except for that one day that they burned the fries. The whole school reeked, and the cafeteria was all smoky. It was awful. And here is my real update. Are you happy? And ha ha, I made you wait until Friday. (Well, actually, it's a bit later than the Friday I meant to update, but you know.) I bet you're mad. Tough bananas. I'm mean. I'm sorry about your finals. They suck. I don't have any (thank god) except in math, but I already bombed that one, so I don't have to worry about it. I got a 74%. It was gruesome. Good luck on yours. Oh but wait, by the time you'll read this, you'll have already taken them. Well, I hope you did well on them, at least.
Temptress: Yay! Everyone appreciates my vocabulary. I feel so smart. If you think of any questions, advice, etc., be sure to tell me.
Hoppuschick: I know you don't like these long thank-yous, but I love doing it. I think it's a good way to reward all my faithful reviewers. : ) And as for the length of my chapters, I'm afraid that I don't plan on making them long, short, or whatever. They just happen that way. But thanks for the compliment, anyway. I hope this chapter met with your approval.
Opal-dragon: Oh, my mistake. Well, no kicking, biting, slapping, hair-pulling, scratching, punching, etc., etc., etc. I feel so silly yelling at someone older than me. Both of you are older than me. How funny. I guess I must just be more intellectually mature. ::smiles superior smile, and then ducks the vindictive mudball thrown by enraged sisters:: Quagmire. That is a good word, but I don't think it's the coolest. I rather like onomatopoeia. Now THAT is a cool word. And I know how to spell it, too.
Lythysfa/Rebecca: I understand your inability to review thanks to your "dread machine," and I know that you would have reviewed if you had been able to. I have an idea. Once your sister finishes her review, write yours on the same one, and then submit it. That way I get both your comments. Efficient, n'est pas?
Neona: Thanks for the compliments. And why don't you update YOUR story. That would make M'cha happy. I hope you liked my update.
~*~ : Yes, you are number 30. Special you. You are a multiple of ten. How exciting. Yes, I know those get repetitive. This is why I did something different. If you like different Alanna fics, read opal-dragon's. Hers are better than mine, plot-wise.
Dunfalathwen: I hope this story answers your wonderings. (Can you say that? Wonderings? Probably not. Oh well. My writing teacher will never know.)
ShinigamiKarui: Sorry about the cliffhangers. It just happens. It's not me, it's the plot. It makes me stop there. It won't let me keep writing.
Jip: You don't have to rub it in! Your getting-out-of-school-on-6/7 thing, I meant. I can't help it that I get out a whole week later than you. Yes, Alanna has a lot of problems, but her life gets better soon. At least, I think it does. It might get worse, but that shouldn't happen unless the plot runs away with me.
Lori: I think I answered your question.
Wildmagic: I never thought about her being kidnapped, but I'm not sure that would be cool. I mean, she'd be made a slave or something, and maybe raped, and that would be really sad. I would feel bad about doing that to her. Because the hillmen aren't nice people. They wouldn't care about hurting her. The Bazhir have an honor system, of a sort. And for the sake of my plotline, we'll just assume that that particular group of hillmen didn't happen to have a mage with them.
Music Queen: Thanks for the encouragement. I WAS going to update my story a while ago, but then FF.Net had their technical difficulties, so you've all had to wait a long while.
Angel of the Storms: Hey, don't say that about your stories. They're GOOD! Don't dis yourself. Bragging is infinitely preferable.
Selenmoon: I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you liked this chapter too.
All right people. Now is the time to press the "Click here to submit review" button. (There you go, ThePenMage. Happy?) So go click it and write! Constructive criticism would be appreciated.