This is hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be. But then again, when did I ever think I would get this chance, to tell you everything that's important to me?
I fell in love with the most beautiful, kind hearted woman. You would have loved her just as much as I did. She made me so happy, so proud to be her husband. Her smile…God, I would have given her anything just to see her smile at me, yet I didn't have to. She gave it freely and it only made me love her a thousand times more each and every single, damn day.
You would never believe how I met her. Her father gave her to me! We were married and I didn't even know, can you believe that?
We were together for a year. I stayed with her people, a desert tribe, learning their culture from the inside out, making it my own I suppose. I never once thought I'd ever need another. I'd finally found myself a home. A place to be comfortable. I had a people, friends and a new family to love and who loved me back and I was happy to grow old there and die surrounded by my children and grand children.
Then she was taken from me. Snatched. My brother-in-law too. I'd dearly love to explain that to you, but I think it's better if I don't.
But I had my new friends to help me look for her, and we have. We've searched every chance we've got and along the way I've seen and done things you wouldn't believe.
But I'm afraid now. I think, deep in my heart, I've given up on her. I want her back, but I don't believe it's really going to happen. I've seen what we're up against and getting her back is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
And I've only gone and made it harder by falling in love with someone else.
I don't believe I could have fallen in love with him if I didn't believe she was really, truly gone forever. I've been living with out her for a long time now and as much as I want to find her; to free her I want to be with him too.
Jack. Another one you would've liked. He's a little harder to describe though. A little rough around the edges, but I think he likes it that way. Plus, you wouldn't believe how many people underestimate him, only for it to come back and bite them on the…well, you know. He's military. Air force actually. One of the most honourable men I know. And also one of the most stubborn, annoying men on this or any other planet. Actually, thinking about it, we must be the least likely candidates for being friends that God ever put on this earth, yet I'd give up my life for him in a heart beat if I thought it would save him.
I fell in love with him the day that I died. I'd been hurt pretty badly. I knew I was going to die and I was so scared and with just a single touch, he gave me back my courage. He gave me hope when there really wasn't any to be had. He seemed to tell me everything with a single look and right there and then I knew I was going to die without ever telling him how I felt and I have to admit to being a little shocked that I wanted him to lean down and kiss me goodbye. I wanted to hold him and tell him I loved him. Just so he'd know, you know?
But, I didn't die that day and I didn't tell him that I loved him. And right now, I think that's going to be the biggest regret of my life. I can't tell him because if I do, that means I've really given up on Sha're, my wife and I can't do that to her. If I don't wake up in the morning and believe that today is the day we're going to find her then I've cheated on her, given up when I know she would keep on fighting for me and I can't do that to her, because I still love her.
I thought I was lucky to find true love once in my life. How the hell did I ever manage to find it twice?
I'd better go. I don't want to, but I have to go back home and I think Jack is about to wake up. If he knew what I was planning on doing with this letter he'd…well, actually, he'd probably let me go ahead, but I don't want to add to his problems right now.
I just wanted you to know that I'm ok. I have a family of my own now. Sam and Teal'c and Jack. They love and take care of me and I do the same for them. It's not how I ever thought my life would turn out, but at least, despite everything bad that's happened, I've got them. And for that I will always be glad. No matter what.
I really do have to go now. Jack is awake and glaring at me. It's like he knows I'm up to something, he just doesn't know what. I doubt he'd want to hear me tell him just how cute I think he is when he glares at me. But I will. One day. When the time is right. When I know.
I love you both so very, very much. Never doubt it.
Daniel.
* * * * *
Melbourne shook his head, wondering where the mild amusement he should be feeling right now was. "That has to be the strangest thing…"
He felt a familiar and welcoming hand slide over his shoulder, Claire peering over to the letter he held in his hand. "What's strange hun?"
He handed her the letter, watched as her eyes drifted over the carefully scripted words. Finally she looked up at her husband. "Where did this come from?"
Melbourne shook his head. "I have no idea. Landed in our mail box this morning."
Claire read the letter again. "He sounds sad. Lonely. It must be hard loving someone you aren't supposed to love."
She saw her husbands look and smiled at him. "Oh come on, who ever this Daniel is, he obviously needed to get a few things off his chest. It all sounds a little sad if you ask me. He's so obviously in love with this Jack he's talking about." She reached out past Melbourne and grabbed his coffee, closing her eyes at her first fix of caffeine for the day. "I hope that whatever happens to him, it ends well. That he gets what he wants."
Melbourne felt himself smile, despite his anxiety. It was so typical of Claire to think like this, to feel compassion for a complete stranger. "Don't you think it's a little weird that someone we don't even know wrote us a letter like this? Someone calling themselves our sons name? You saw the address on the front. It was meant for us. Don't you think it's a little…creepy."
Claire shook her head. "No. More…lonely. This 'Daniel' obviously hasn't had someone in his life he can turn to. So what if he choose us to get something like that off his chest? Our Daniel is lucky enough to have us. Can you imagine what his life would be like if he didn't?"
That was so typical of his wife. Smiling he took the letter from her hand and kissed her forehead. "Come on, we're going to be late. We have to set this display up before the end of the day or the curator isn't going to pay us." Scrunching the letter up into a ball, he threw it into the trash, earning a look he knew all to well from his wife. "It wouldn't be right to keep something like that. It's too…personal. Whoever it was that sent it, wanted us to read it, no one else. And we have."
"I guess you're right. Still, I wish he was here right now, so I could hug him and tell him it's going to be ok."
Melbourne smiled as he picked up his paper. "We have a Daniel up stairs, reading his comic books while pretending to be asleep. Why don't you hug him instead, before telling him to get a move on?"
* * * * *
Jack sauntered into Daniel's office, setting the hot mug down for Daniel to pick up. "I come bearing gifts. Well, coffee actually. Here you go." He sat down, staring intently at Daniel. "So…"
Daniel didn't look at him, instead sipping his coffee and trying to ignore the continued presence of Jack as he tried to figure out the translation SG-11 had brought back from PX3-897. "Mmm?"
Jack watched his friend closely from across his desk. "So? What did you say in the letter?"
That surprised Daniel into a coughing fit, the coffee going down the wrong way. "Excuse me?" That was a squeak. How come he could taunt Goa'uld and yet Jack managed to reduce him to a nervous wreck with a single question? It just wasn't fair.
"Oh please, don't think I don't know what you were doing. I can read you like a book."
Obviously not, thought Daniel, or they would be having a completely different conversation right about now. Possibly one that involved appendages he was quite fond of, getting broken.
"Daniel?"
"Oh, right. I was…I just wanted to…" Daniel stopped, set down his mug and folded his arms, Jack immediately recognising the stance.
"You wanted to share some of your life with them?"
Eyes widened behind glasses. He should have known. Even he could underestimate Jack sometimes. "Why didn't you stop me? You heard Sam, you knew the risk I was taking."
Jack nodded. "I didn't think it was a risk. Everything that we did back then, we were meant to do."
"Predestination?"
"I don't know what that means exactly, but yeah, if you like. I figured you were meant to write that letter. Who knows, maybe in the cosmic scheme of things, that's the reason we went back in the first place. What did you do, ask Jenny and Michael to wait and then post it at the right time?"
"The day before they died. I never…I never got to tell them so much Jack. I had to take the chance that it would all work out they way it was meant to."
Jack reached out and took his hand, squeezing it hard. "Believe me, I understand and it's alright. It won't go any further than me, I swear."
He looked down, Jack's hand still covering his own and for a second, everything seemed right. Perfect.
Daniel looked back up at him and smiled. "I know.
The End
I fell in love with the most beautiful, kind hearted woman. You would have loved her just as much as I did. She made me so happy, so proud to be her husband. Her smile…God, I would have given her anything just to see her smile at me, yet I didn't have to. She gave it freely and it only made me love her a thousand times more each and every single, damn day.
You would never believe how I met her. Her father gave her to me! We were married and I didn't even know, can you believe that?
We were together for a year. I stayed with her people, a desert tribe, learning their culture from the inside out, making it my own I suppose. I never once thought I'd ever need another. I'd finally found myself a home. A place to be comfortable. I had a people, friends and a new family to love and who loved me back and I was happy to grow old there and die surrounded by my children and grand children.
Then she was taken from me. Snatched. My brother-in-law too. I'd dearly love to explain that to you, but I think it's better if I don't.
But I had my new friends to help me look for her, and we have. We've searched every chance we've got and along the way I've seen and done things you wouldn't believe.
But I'm afraid now. I think, deep in my heart, I've given up on her. I want her back, but I don't believe it's really going to happen. I've seen what we're up against and getting her back is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
And I've only gone and made it harder by falling in love with someone else.
I don't believe I could have fallen in love with him if I didn't believe she was really, truly gone forever. I've been living with out her for a long time now and as much as I want to find her; to free her I want to be with him too.
Jack. Another one you would've liked. He's a little harder to describe though. A little rough around the edges, but I think he likes it that way. Plus, you wouldn't believe how many people underestimate him, only for it to come back and bite them on the…well, you know. He's military. Air force actually. One of the most honourable men I know. And also one of the most stubborn, annoying men on this or any other planet. Actually, thinking about it, we must be the least likely candidates for being friends that God ever put on this earth, yet I'd give up my life for him in a heart beat if I thought it would save him.
I fell in love with him the day that I died. I'd been hurt pretty badly. I knew I was going to die and I was so scared and with just a single touch, he gave me back my courage. He gave me hope when there really wasn't any to be had. He seemed to tell me everything with a single look and right there and then I knew I was going to die without ever telling him how I felt and I have to admit to being a little shocked that I wanted him to lean down and kiss me goodbye. I wanted to hold him and tell him I loved him. Just so he'd know, you know?
But, I didn't die that day and I didn't tell him that I loved him. And right now, I think that's going to be the biggest regret of my life. I can't tell him because if I do, that means I've really given up on Sha're, my wife and I can't do that to her. If I don't wake up in the morning and believe that today is the day we're going to find her then I've cheated on her, given up when I know she would keep on fighting for me and I can't do that to her, because I still love her.
I thought I was lucky to find true love once in my life. How the hell did I ever manage to find it twice?
I'd better go. I don't want to, but I have to go back home and I think Jack is about to wake up. If he knew what I was planning on doing with this letter he'd…well, actually, he'd probably let me go ahead, but I don't want to add to his problems right now.
I just wanted you to know that I'm ok. I have a family of my own now. Sam and Teal'c and Jack. They love and take care of me and I do the same for them. It's not how I ever thought my life would turn out, but at least, despite everything bad that's happened, I've got them. And for that I will always be glad. No matter what.
I really do have to go now. Jack is awake and glaring at me. It's like he knows I'm up to something, he just doesn't know what. I doubt he'd want to hear me tell him just how cute I think he is when he glares at me. But I will. One day. When the time is right. When I know.
I love you both so very, very much. Never doubt it.
Daniel.
* * * * *
Melbourne shook his head, wondering where the mild amusement he should be feeling right now was. "That has to be the strangest thing…"
He felt a familiar and welcoming hand slide over his shoulder, Claire peering over to the letter he held in his hand. "What's strange hun?"
He handed her the letter, watched as her eyes drifted over the carefully scripted words. Finally she looked up at her husband. "Where did this come from?"
Melbourne shook his head. "I have no idea. Landed in our mail box this morning."
Claire read the letter again. "He sounds sad. Lonely. It must be hard loving someone you aren't supposed to love."
She saw her husbands look and smiled at him. "Oh come on, who ever this Daniel is, he obviously needed to get a few things off his chest. It all sounds a little sad if you ask me. He's so obviously in love with this Jack he's talking about." She reached out past Melbourne and grabbed his coffee, closing her eyes at her first fix of caffeine for the day. "I hope that whatever happens to him, it ends well. That he gets what he wants."
Melbourne felt himself smile, despite his anxiety. It was so typical of Claire to think like this, to feel compassion for a complete stranger. "Don't you think it's a little weird that someone we don't even know wrote us a letter like this? Someone calling themselves our sons name? You saw the address on the front. It was meant for us. Don't you think it's a little…creepy."
Claire shook her head. "No. More…lonely. This 'Daniel' obviously hasn't had someone in his life he can turn to. So what if he choose us to get something like that off his chest? Our Daniel is lucky enough to have us. Can you imagine what his life would be like if he didn't?"
That was so typical of his wife. Smiling he took the letter from her hand and kissed her forehead. "Come on, we're going to be late. We have to set this display up before the end of the day or the curator isn't going to pay us." Scrunching the letter up into a ball, he threw it into the trash, earning a look he knew all to well from his wife. "It wouldn't be right to keep something like that. It's too…personal. Whoever it was that sent it, wanted us to read it, no one else. And we have."
"I guess you're right. Still, I wish he was here right now, so I could hug him and tell him it's going to be ok."
Melbourne smiled as he picked up his paper. "We have a Daniel up stairs, reading his comic books while pretending to be asleep. Why don't you hug him instead, before telling him to get a move on?"
* * * * *
Jack sauntered into Daniel's office, setting the hot mug down for Daniel to pick up. "I come bearing gifts. Well, coffee actually. Here you go." He sat down, staring intently at Daniel. "So…"
Daniel didn't look at him, instead sipping his coffee and trying to ignore the continued presence of Jack as he tried to figure out the translation SG-11 had brought back from PX3-897. "Mmm?"
Jack watched his friend closely from across his desk. "So? What did you say in the letter?"
That surprised Daniel into a coughing fit, the coffee going down the wrong way. "Excuse me?" That was a squeak. How come he could taunt Goa'uld and yet Jack managed to reduce him to a nervous wreck with a single question? It just wasn't fair.
"Oh please, don't think I don't know what you were doing. I can read you like a book."
Obviously not, thought Daniel, or they would be having a completely different conversation right about now. Possibly one that involved appendages he was quite fond of, getting broken.
"Daniel?"
"Oh, right. I was…I just wanted to…" Daniel stopped, set down his mug and folded his arms, Jack immediately recognising the stance.
"You wanted to share some of your life with them?"
Eyes widened behind glasses. He should have known. Even he could underestimate Jack sometimes. "Why didn't you stop me? You heard Sam, you knew the risk I was taking."
Jack nodded. "I didn't think it was a risk. Everything that we did back then, we were meant to do."
"Predestination?"
"I don't know what that means exactly, but yeah, if you like. I figured you were meant to write that letter. Who knows, maybe in the cosmic scheme of things, that's the reason we went back in the first place. What did you do, ask Jenny and Michael to wait and then post it at the right time?"
"The day before they died. I never…I never got to tell them so much Jack. I had to take the chance that it would all work out they way it was meant to."
Jack reached out and took his hand, squeezing it hard. "Believe me, I understand and it's alright. It won't go any further than me, I swear."
He looked down, Jack's hand still covering his own and for a second, everything seemed right. Perfect.
Daniel looked back up at him and smiled. "I know.
The End