Ranma Nibunnoichi - Reflections
A. V. Morgan
Part Seven: Upping the Stakes
The school grounds at Furinkan High had a pleasant, park-like atmosphere. A well tended lawn carpeted the area between the school buildings and the enclosing wall. Trees and shrubs, intermixed with a few sculptures and fixtures, providing pools of shade and interesting features for the eye to dwell on. In spite of the tasteful landscaping, few eyes ever rested on the scenery when certain specimens of the student body were present. The standoff between the Kuno siblings and the Ranma copies, with Ukyo square in the middle, had drawn students from their desks to press against the windows overlooking them. Once again, teachers bemoaned the power of all things Ranma-related to disrupt the stoic institution of learning, before planting their own faced against the glass in avid curiosity.
The five students below, having recovered from the confusion of Kodachi's entrance—and in Kuno's case, the shock of the clones making out—were back to weaving the deadly dance of their respective arts. As tended to happen when the martial artists of Nerima gathered in numbers greater than two, the event was drawn out and complicated, with elements of slapstick blended in as one combatant cut in between two or more others to make overtures of passion, or in the case of the Kunos, psychosis.
From the window of her own classroom, Nabiki looked down on this confusion and knew one thing. With the appearance of Kodachi, it was clear that her two best "clients" intended to collect on the "unwinable" bet. How was Nabiki to know, a month ago, that any force on Earth could split Ranma into his component aspects?
She remembered standing nearby as Tatawaki and Kodachi bickered over their most recent sibling squabble. It had begun with Tatewaki destroying a large poster of Ranma that Kodachi had procured from Nabiki. It had ended with Kodachi's attempt to ruin the reputations of her brother, and the "Pig-tailed-girl", and Tatewaki's arranging for Ranma to be Kodachi's slave for a day. Naturally, enough hot and cold water had been involved to ensure that Ranma was pursued and persecuted in both forms. Being temporarily on good terms, after Tatewaki finally apologized to his sister, they had agreed that the next time Ranma and the Pig-tailed-girl showed up in the same place, Kuno would take the girl in hand, Kodachi would take the boy in hand, and they would go separate ways without interfering with each other.
Nabiki had laughed and commented that they would never see Ranma and the Pig-tailed-girl at the same time. The Kunos had turned to her, well aware that wherever one of them was, the other always seemed to turn up, and bet her a million yen, each, that they certainly would. Believing that they could not possibly win, Nabiki took their bets, with a few conditions. First, there was a time limit. It was hard to collect on a bet if the deciding event could never happen, so they had until the end of the school year. Second, Ranma and the Pig-tailed-girl had to be seen side-by-side, in person, by both Kunos and impartial witnesses. She had been looking forward to her two-million-yen prize at the end of the term, until Ranma stumbled into that damned mirror. During the first week, Nabiki had gone to great lengths to ensure that Kuno was kept busy away from school, and seeing to it that any witnesses the Kunos might use would not be impartial.
Once the second copy got loose, Nabiki had turned her attention to finding some way to get out of paying off the bet, since it was inevitable that the copies would encounter the Kunos. Fortunately, recent events had inspired her with a solution to more than one problem, that could save her from coughing up two-million-yen. If she was careful, she could actually double her original expected gains in the process. The hard part was coming up with two-million-yen to bait her trap. As soon as the lunch bell rang, her plan would go to into motion.
Until then, she looked down out the window and enjoyed the show.
As she watched, one of her factors entered the room and rushed to her elbow. "I tracked them down. Akane took Ranma to the infirmary," she announced quietly, handing Nabiki the package in her hands. "Here are the pictures you wanted. The photography club developed all seven rolls of film and each of your lieutenants have prints, as you requested. Mixed sets, of course. People will have to buy all fifty sets for a complete collection of the good shots. They're selling like crazy, too! I unloaded mine on the way up here!"
"Good. Are we going to make the deadline?"
"Two mil by lunchtime? No sweat!"
"Excellent. Go hit the cashbox and make sure it's secure. I'll pick it up on the way to lunch. Good work!" Nabiki patted the girl on the shoulder as she bowed and ran out of the room. It would be nice if the pictures from the night before could generate two-million-yen in one morning, but a few hundred thousand, combined with the funds in the betting and lottery pools, as well as the mortgage payments for the dojo covering the next three months, would be enough cash on hand to confront the Kunos. If Kodachi and Kuno did not rise to the bait, getting through the end of the school year was going to take some fancy footwork. She grinned. This was the most fun she'd had since her date-duel with Kinnosuke!
Nabiki shoved the window open and leaned out to hear better.
"Stand your ground, vile knave! Though the vengeance of heaven is slow but sure, swift is my blade, and swifter, death does fly to embrace you! Dost thou fear so, the might of the great Kuno Tatewaki?"
"Are you sayin' I should stand there and let you hit me!!?"
"Verily so! And at once, I say!"
"You're insane!"
"Yea! Though I stand in the midst of my sanity, so it is that I am in sanity personified!" Kuno raved.
"You psycho! You just insulted yourself!" Copy-chan stopped and gaped at him. Kodachi noticed her distraction and veered off from her pursuit of "Ranma-sama" to streak down with a giant mallet.
"Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! Now I have you, wicked temptress!"
"Kyaaa!" Copy-chan sprung up into the air as Kodachi crashed down, narrowly escaping from being brained. Kodachi rebounded up into the air after her.
"Hey! Leave her alone!" Copy-kun turned and charged back at Kuno.
"Stay, my dear sister! Do not touch this fair damsel!" Kuno stepped forward to where the two girls were about to descend and thrust straight up, between Copy-chan's legs, aiming for the huge mallet in his sister's hands.
"Waaa! Watch where you're puttin' that thing!" she arched back, allowing the blade to pass harmlessly in front of her and strike the mallet head, shattering it. Her momentum carried her in a back-flip to land behind Copy-kun. The Kunos rebounded from their mid-air impact and confronted their targets of choice. Their enemies in front of them, they charged in, weapons at the fore.
"Copy-chan! Switch!"
*Whoosh*
*Ka-Klunka-Konk!*
Kuno and Kodachi flew off in opposite directions.
"And, they're down for the count," Nabiki commented, turning to begin hawking her share of lingerie photos. "Hey everyone! Special today, lingerie spectacular photos featuring Ranma-chan and Copy-chan! Get them while they're hot!" Half the boys in the room, and more than a few girls perked up and swarmed around Nabiki. "Thirty-five hundred yen for a set of five! Fifty sets in all! Mix and match for a complete collection!" If Nabiki had enough time, she would have sent the photos out and had trading cards made.
In the infirmary, Ranma-kun sat bolt upright as a chill went down his spine, accompanied by a fit of sneezing. The dreadful feeling that everyone in school must be talking about him went through him. Sadly, that was not really an uncommon occurrence. Once he had himself under control, he looked around and figured out where he was. Akane rushed in through the curtain, isolating the bed Ranma had been laying in. The look of concern on her face sent a second chill of foreboding through him. Asking himself what he was doing in the infirmary, without a raging headache, he suddenly recalled his last conscious sight. He groaned.
"Ranma!? Are you alright?" Akane blurted.
"Don't tell me it was real," he moaned.
"The copies?"
He nodded. The image of the two tangled in the most passionate of kisses flashed as he closed his eyes. That was bad enough. The memory of what he had felt, while looking at them was worse. First had been dismay. They had gone off at the first opportunity and started THAT up again. Second had been shock at THAT going on between two people his mind insisted were both him, despite the fact that he had been outside of it. Third had been a flush of heated emotions. Longing, envy, jealousy, as the memory of being kissed was summoned, accompanied by the warm thrill of caressing hands. Why did something so horrible have to feel so damned good? Feeling good was such a rare treasure, that his traitor mind savored it even as it screamed against the realization of where and what he had been in the matter. Some unconscious part of him, unbound by gender, wanted to pound the jerk for his betrayal, wanted to rip out her hair and gouge at her eyes for stealing the jerk's attention. Those fleeting emotions might as well have been a wild cat set loose inside his skull, as Ranma's wits tried to flee in abject terror.
Akane was biting her lip, unsure if she should confirm or deny the event. There was no choice, Ranma would never hear the end of this, the rumors would spread without mercy. "I am sorry. It was real."
"What happened?"
"Uh… I think the shock stopped your heart," she murmured, wondering why he would have such a strong reaction. The scene had not been that different from the scene on the train, the day before.
"Yeah, well, if you walked up and saw yourself doin' something like that, how would you react?"
"I would never!"
"That's not the point. I don't care who they really are. They look like me. What if you had looked in the mirror?"
"I suppose that would be… disturbing," Akane frowned.
Ranma climbed down off the bed/examining table. "I hope you didn't leave them alone," he turned to look at Akane, concern on his face. She nodded, shook her head, then explained that Ukyo had stayed to keep an eye on them. Ranma cocked his head, "Ucchan? Do you think she can handle both of them?"
"Uh. They didn't look like they were planning on going anywhere."
"You idiot! You let them go on doin' that!?"
"You ungrateful jerk! I had to bring you here!"
"I would have been fine, you stupid tom-boy! You'd think you'd realize that keeping those two apart is more important than moonin' over me!"
"I wasn't 'mooning' over you, you perverted ego-maniac!"
"You sexless tom-boy!"
"Shut up, you sex-crazed sicko!"
"In your dreams!"
"Baka!!!" Akane snatched up the stool by the bed and wrapped it around Ranma-kun's head with the force of the impact. Across the room, the nurse was gaping at the pair, eyes bulging out of her skull. Where had the contrite, concerned girl gone, and how did this demon of vengeance take her place?
"Uh, didn't you just bring him in here to be treated?" she asked in a shaky voice. Akane turned on her, prepared to spit venom, when the question penetrated.
"Oh! That idiot!"
"Kawaiikune," Ranma's voice drifted up from where he had slumped down on the other side of the bed. Making a wide berth around Akane, the nurse went over and helped Ranma climb back up onto the bed. While she quickly checked him for broken bones or a concussion, Ranma sat there making faces at Akane, sticking out his tongue. Akane simmered and stuck her tongue out before stomping out into the hall. "She is so not cute. Wish I knew what her problem is."
The nurse sighed and shrugged. "There seems to be no serious damage. I don't know how you kids can hand out and take so much abuse," she made some notes on a chart and looked one last time at Ranma. "I don't see any reason to keep you here or send you home. Lunch is in a few minutes. If you don't want to end up back in here by your next class, you might want to think of being a little more… tactful the next time you speak to that girl."
"You're kidding me, right?"
The nurse just sighed and shook her head, gesturing to the door for him to show himself out. Ranma stretched his neck and shoulders and hopped down from the bed. Why did everyone always tell him to be nice and make up whenever Akane pounded him? He was the one owed an apology, not her. If anyone needed tact, it was little-miss-bludgeoning-device.
Akane was waiting in the hall. She turned as soon as he exited the infirmary and started walking back to class. Ranma followed, sullenly, and they arrived as the bell rang. They went in to collect their lunches and followed the crowd outside to eat. Ukyo saw them coming outside and waved them over. She had her portable grill set up and was selling okonomiyaki to the students, Copy-chan and Copy-kun were parked next to her snatching up every other okonomiyaki that came off the grill. The copies carried on as if food was the only thing on their mind, so Ranma turned his attention to his friend.
"Hey, Ucchan! Thanks for keepin' an eye on these two."
"No problem, Ranchan. Care for one of my specialties?"
"Thanks!"
Akane sniffed and moved to the side to eat her lunch in privacy, where she could keep an eye on the clones. Her mind was busy warring over the concern and fury her fiancé had been inspiring in her. More than ever she wanted to pound the daylights out of him, but too often of late this bizarre vulnerability had revealed itself in him. She did not want to kill him, but the glimmering of the idea that Ranma could be killed as easily as anyone else was starting to worm its way through her head. She was dangerously close to wondering, as many of her peers had already wondered, how he ever managed to survive her typical onslaught. Unable to stomach the notion of not hitting Ranma, it was better to keep a little distance so she would not have any need to hit him.
Nabiki wandered up, as Ranma busily tore through his bento and a steady stream of okonomiyakis (hard fought over, and hard won from the clutches of his duplicates). The middle Tendo daughter paused to examine the still unconscious forms of the Kuno siblings, before coming up to chat with Ukyo. Nabiki was still collecting food, as payment for a bet Ukyo had lost months earlier. Oddly, Nabiki was civil about collecting, since Ukyo was so cheerful about the whole business of food prep and service. Today, Ukyo grinned up at Nabiki.
"Hello, Ukyo. You look happy to see me today!"
"Heya, Nabiki! I have a question, and you're just the person to ask!"
"I see," Nabiki grinned. After extorting a "consultation fee" she urged the chef to ask her question. Ukyo explained the strange statement Kodachi made during the fight.
"She claimed to have come over here to collect on a bet. Since you seem to be on top of all the wagering and such at Furinkan, I thought you might know what the hell she was talking about."
"Ah, that. Yes, I do know about this bet."
"And?"
Nabiki shrugged. "I answered your question, right?"
"I haven't asked it yet!"
"Oh, well then, go ahead."
"What was the bet?"
Nabiki considered that. "Each of the Kuno's placed a million-yen bet that they would see, with witness testimony, Ranma and the 'Pig-tailed-girl' together, side-by-side so to speak, at the same time and place by the end of the school term." This got the interest of many people, who came up to get more details. Over the course of the next fifteen minutes, Nabiki had extorted money from half of those present to fully disclose the details of the whole arrangement.
"Wow. Nabiki actually lost a bet."
"That's gotta hurt! Two million!?"
"There's gotta be a catch!"
"Yeah. Like, they had to take them on a double date, be seen by everyone in town, or go to the prom together with them, right?"
"Honestly," Nabiki tapped her lip thoughtfully, "No. Nice idea though. A bit dangerous. I don't know if I would want all of that on my conscience. The fallout from the attempt would be staggering."
Seeing the downed forms of the Kunos twitching in preparation to awake, Nabiki quickly left instructions for both of them to be directed to her classroom once they fully revived. She suggested that nothing Ranma shaped be around to distract the deranged siblings, since she did have business to conduct with them.
"What? You mean you're actually going to pay them?"
"Of course. It would ruin my reputation, as well as my prospects, to get caught welshing on a bet. Don't be ridiculous." With that she reentered the school. Ranma, Akane and Ukyo grabbed the twins and dragged them back to their own classroom. None of them were particularly interested in being around for the awakening of Tatewaki and Kodachi.
After several minutes of long-winded pontification, the Kunos received the message to meet Nabiki in the classroom she shared with Tatewaki to conduct the business of settling the bet. After another twenty minutes spent by the pair tracking down, and dragging the two clones out of Ranma and Akane's classroom, they confronted Nabiki. Fortunately, Ranma had ducked out of sight, or rather out the window, at the sound of the siblings' approach, so further confusion was prevented. Hanging down and peering in through the top of the window into Nabiki's homeroom, Ranma eavesdropped on the meeting. Akane had gone with the copies, both to keep an eye on them, and to act as Kuno's "impartial witness" while some poor helpless slob, that is Hikaru Gosenkugi, was nabbed by Kodachi to serve as hers.
The six came into the middle of the room and stood in front of Nabiki. She was seated at the teacher's desk with a large lock box at her elbow. A group of her factors were lined up behind her.
"So, I see you wanted to make this absolutely clear," she began without preamble, seeing the clones standing uncomfortably between the two. She looked at them for a moment and then turned to Akane. "Does that look like Ranma and the Pig-tailed-girl to you?" Akane nodded. Nabiki repeated the question to Gosunkugi, who eeped and nodded rapidly. "And do you both agree that they are present here, side-by-side, in the same place at the same time?" More nods. Nabiki stood then. "Good. I think that satisfies the terms of the bet. If the rest of you would please clear out of the room, Kuno Tatewaki and Kuno Kodachi have private business to conclude with me." With surprise, everyone began to file out of the room. The Kunos' looked reluctant to allow the objects of their mixed obsessions leave their sight, but business was business. It was quite a coup to win a bet with Nabiki. They had to savor their moment.
Once the room was cleared, the factors having dropped the blinds and sealed the windows and doors before exiting, Nabiki cleared her throat and pushed the lock box forward. "Two million yen. Feel free to count it and divide it amongst yourselves." She inserted the key, and opened the lid. Ranma adjusted his position until he could peer through a crack in the blinds. There on top of the money was a manila file folder. Nabiki quickly gasped and snatched it away. "Ah, heh. That was not part of the pay off," she quickly explained, trying to shove the file into her school bag. Prominently lettered on the front, were the words, "Ranma/Pig-tailed-girl" in bold letters.
The siblings caught the writing as the folder slipped out of sight.
"What is that, pray tell," Kuno inquired.
Nabiki looked at him. "I'm sorry? What are you referring to?"
"That file. It appears to have something to do with my beloved goddess, and that foul sorcerer, Saotome," he elucidated.
"I too would like to know what important information you have about them, so carefully locked away," Kodachi importuned.
"Oh. This?" Nabiki pulled out the folder again. "It's nothing really. I mean, you surely would not be interested in knowing why those two are in love with each other," she waved her hand, as if the very idea was preposterous. "Or how to break them apart," she added, nonchalantly.
"I would beg to differ. If you possess such information, I would desire greatly to know of it."
"I am sorry, Kuno-chan," Nabiki sighed and looked down. "This information was very difficult to obtain. Just covering the costs of obtaining it would be exorbitant. I certainly could not just give it away. Please, just take your money, and we'll pretend this other matter never came up."
Kodachi's eyes narrowed and her nimble fingers produced a ribbon, which snapped out and plucked the folder from Nabiki's hands. Nabiki stood there in surprise, staring over at Kodachi as she flipped the folder open and looked inside. A moment later she crumpled the folder in anger and glared at Nabiki.
"You deceitful little peasant! There was nothing in that folder!"
Nabiki blinked. "Of course not. I wouldn't write such valuable information down," she scoffed and tapped her temple. "The information is all up here. The folder was just to remind me from time to time so I didn't forget it."
"How disgustingly clever," Kodachi pouted.
"I hate you," Kuno calmly informed Nabiki.
"I am so glad," she returned, eyes half lidded.
"Clearly, I cannot dismiss the possibility of learning, at long last, how to free my beloved Pig-tailed-goddess from the sordid clutches of that demon, Saotome. Whatever the costs you incurred to obtain this priceless information, I shall repay you ten fold, were you to disclose to me the salvation of mine heart."
"I too should pay any price to break the power of that lewd wench over the heart of my dear Ranma-sama," Kodachi seconded.
"Well, Kuno," Nabiki sighed, "you are correct in that this information is priceless. But to offer ten-fold the costs to me to obtain it is indeed generous. Perhaps too generous."
"Surely I can afford it."
"Yes! How great were these expenses?"
"Ironically," Nabiki dragged it out. "The total comes to two-million-yen," she finally announced, dramatically, pointing her finger at Kodachi.
The siblings turned to gape at each other. Turning back to Nabiki, they gulped and pulled at their collars. "Ah," Kuno began, sweating. "Indeed, that is quite an investment to make in such a worthy pursuit. Alas, as I have seen with mine own eyes, it is imperative that I intervene with great haste to preserve the chastity of my fair maiden. Twenty-million yen is a sizeable sum…"
"Forty-million," Nabiki interrupted calmly.
"Ah, yes. Forty-million yen is a handsome sum of cash for a mere student, even one so noble and powerful as myself, to carry upon one's person." In the background, Ranma was staring with eyes as big as dinner plates as he watched Nabiki extorting amounts he could only dream of. That much money would be sufficient for a down-payment on a small house, or a decent sized apartment! Kodachi was twitching herself.
Nabiki sighed and looked down. "So. You see, it really is best to just forget about this. There are, after all, other fish in the sea."
"Hold, Tendo Nabiki. I am a man of my word, and if I say ten-fold, I mean ten-fold," he bent over and shared a few quiet, terse words with his sister. After a moment he turned back to Nabiki. "I was merely pointing out that it was a great deal of money to produce under such pressing circumstances. I must have that information at once, but I must beg you to allow us to make a down payment, and give full restitution once we have the leisure to adjust our finances." Kodachi nodded grimly, her teeth clenched and face flushed.
Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "What do you propose?"
Kuno closed the lid of the lock-box and pushed it toward Nabiki. Reaching into his hakama, he withdrew his wallet, and Kodachi did the same. They emptied both on top of the lock box. "We have here two-million-five-hundred-thousand yen. If you would kindly accept this, and our assurances of the rest to come, in exchange for the information forthwith, you would be entirely in our gratitude."
Nabiki looked down at the money. Outside, there was a distant crash as Ranma lost his toehold and dropped to the ground in shock. Nabiki made a good show of thinking hard. Finally she nodded. "As this is sufficient to cover my own costs, I see no reason not to be generous." She opened her book bag and pulled out some paperwork. She made some alterations to her usual contract, and presented them to the siblings for review. "Because your offer is so generous, I have waived my usual interest fee on signed debts. The balance shown is seventeen-million-two-hundred and fifty-thousand yen for each of you. Payment is for services rendered, to be left unspecified to preserve the integrity of the information. I will relate to you, in person, what you have requested, and urge you to protect your investment against others who would also desire this information. Is that agreeable?"
The Kunos nodded and scanned the documents before signing them.
Nabiki smiled, opening the lock-box and placing the additional cash inside and then sealed it. "Excellent. Now. Listen closely you two," Nabiki turned to the two of them, collecting the forms and taking a seat behind the desk. They pulled up a couple of chairs and listened intently. "The two individuals you dragged in here earlier," she indicated Copy-chan and Copy-kun, knowing her audience would make the proper assumptions about their identities, "are both under compulsion. A curse, to be specific, is responsible for their obsession with each other."
"I knew it!" the two cried out.
"Yes. Well, it is a strange thing, but stranger things have happened. It is important to note that neither of them is at fault for this. An outside influence is responsible for binding them together. If you were to approach them, under the right circumstances, they will assure you that they have no love for each other. The compulsion upon both of them is for them to find love. Because they share this compulsion, they are drawn to each other, in search of the same thing. They have a great deal more than this in common, so this attraction is reinforced, making it difficult for anyone who truly loves them to draw them away from each other."
"This is truly extraordinary news!"
"So you are saying that they might be drawn apart by two who love them?" Kodachi's eyes were shining.
"Oh, it's not enough to just profess your love. If your affections are false, then the curse will not be satisfied. Only true love can break the spell. That means you must earn their trust! If you threaten one, the other will lash out at you. This is no easy matter to break." Nabiki was beginning to enjoy this. She doubted the pair could control themselves well enough to overcome their respective psychoses, but they might distract the clones enough for the rest of them to get through the end of the week.
"Clearly, this is a matter of great delicacy," Kuno pronounced.
"You have given us new hope! Thank you, Tendo Nabiki!" Kodachi spouted. The two rose, positive of the value of this latest investment. It suited their warped minds to think that the path to victory was sure. By pursuing the unlikely path of wooing the objects of their hearts' desires, and offering no threat to the counterparts of such, they would triumph without resorting to a single blow!