Ranma Nibunnoichi - Reflections
A. V. Morgan
Part Twenty-Five: The Art of Dating, Step One: Conversation
After watching Ranma's form dwindle over the horizon, Akane suffered a pang of guilt. She found herself painfully reminded of her actions when she gave the engagement to Nabiki; how she kept wasting her chances to make up with Ranma and let things return to normal. This situation was similar in that she desperately wanted reality to return to something she was familiar with. Worse, because in some ways it had, at least with Ranma setting off her temper and her cutting loose. She sensed that if the cursed Ranma had patted her down like that, she might have been able to restrain herself. Either because she had been acting like a girl for a day or so, or because she still had that air of vulnerability that had subdued Akane since the morning after she "slept" with Copy-kun. Even though she still had a hard time thinking of "new" Ranma as "the" Ranma, it seemed she had no trouble reacting to him that way. Or did that just go along with being engaged to him?
Akane frowned. That did not sound like a flattering thought. "I hit him because he deserved it! He's a boy, and a pervert!" she stomped off in the direction he had flown. It was true, the engagement had gotten under her skin from the beginning, but… "I'm not just taking it out on him. He's an arrogant, insufferable, insulting, macho jerk!" she interrupted her guilty thoughts.
The way his hands brushed over her, to smooth out her dress, felt so… so… "I can't believe him! Pawing at me like that!" He was just helping out, being nice… "Ha! I know how he thinks! Any excuse to take advantage of a girl will do! It's not like he even likes me, he just gets a kick out of wrapping girls around his finger! Casanova!" she kicked a rock angrily, watching it embed itself in a privacy wall across the street as she exited the park.
Akane sighed. "Who am I kidding? He obviously doesn't have a clue what to do with a girl once he gets his hands on her," she grumbled, remembering the uproar Ranma caused with his innocent admission of sleeping with Copy-kun. She remembered the scared look that grew as everyone got more and more upset with what he said, the total incomprehension of the situation he seemed to be describing in harrowing detail. "Kami! Was that just two days ago?"
Correcting for the lay of the land, or rather houses, Akane crossed the street and turned a corner, plotting a zig-zag course to where Ranma should have landed. As she walked, Akane remembered another conversation with Ranma, before the copies had taken his identity away from him.
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"Don't take this the wrong way, but what's so bad about being a girl, Ranma?"
Ranma almost replied without thinking. Snapping his mouth shut at the last second he remembered what Copy-kun had said the night before. "Nothin' if you happen to be a girl. It's not good if you're a guy though. I mean, what would you call a guy who tries to dress or act like a girl or chase other guys?"
That was a no-brainer for Akane, "A pervert!"
"Yeah. Would you wanna be called a pervert by people 'cuz you look like a girl, but they know you're supposed to be a boy?"
Akane opened her mouth and stared at Ranma. She did not dare to answer. She was doing it to him all the time. After a moment, she tried another angle. "Well, if you had amnesia, and didn't know you were ever a boy, why would it be horrible to be like Copy-chan?"
Ranma did not answer for a moment. He was staring at the mentioned girl, looking worried. Sighing, he explained, "Because one day I might remember, and everything I had done as a girl would be right there in my face. All the things I swore I would never do, and suddenly they would all have been done and I could never take them back. I don't know if I could live with myself after somethin' like that. I… I don't know if I could be a guy after that. I wouldn't know how to be me, I guess."
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Akane sighed. If she had realized what leaving him alone for one day would do to him, she would have glued herself to his side and refused to let him go anywhere with Cologne. Ranma-chan was nothing like Copy-chan. Well, she was a girl, but she knew Ranma-chan would not be running around doing things her fragile male ego could never live down. She was just demonstrating what happened when Ranma did not know how to be himself anymore. She acted exactly the same way Ranma acted the first time Akane had ever seen him, when she thought he was a she. Completely out of her depth, and like an embarrassment to life itself. There was something really wrong with the world to make someone normally as confident as Ranma act almost ashamed to be alive. "Pervert!" her voice echoed in her head.
Akane cringed. Everything changed so fast, it was already too late to undo all the insults she had given, absolve herself for her part in undermining Ranma's confidence. "Damn. I just can't deal with three Ranmas. Old Ranma, new Ranma, girl Ranma, boy Ranma…" she wanted to strangle something. The person she thought of as Ranma and the person she reacted to as Ranma were of course two different people in her rational mind. Along with the name, Ranma inherited all of the things that set her off, and sucked her in. All of the guilt and sympathy that was gushing to the surface was pointed directly at the cursed version, Ranma-chan. No, she corrected herself. That's the way she wanted it. Her little guilt trip had started with how she treated HIM, and the seeds of that guilt lay in the fight itself, when Kodachi accused her of abusing Ranma.
As a martial artist, Akane had always taken the code very seriously. She honestly objected to people who beat up on those who were weaker than themselves, those who could not defend themselves. That was how she began fighting with boys in the first place, defending weaker kids on the playgrounds. It was how she had become so popular, or at least respected, among her peers. There were few kids in Nerima she had not personally taught a lesson to or personally protected at some point in the past ten years. Her life had been going really well until she reached high school. Her troubles had started before that, with puberty, but it came to a head because of Kuno. It had not taken her long to realize what boys had begun to see in her, and there had been the occasional idiot who had tried to "prove" himself, or start a fight just so she would flash her panties at some point in the battle. When virtually every boy in school took up Kuno's challenge, she realized they all thought about her the same way. The very idea of staring in the sick, perverted fantasies—she knew what kind of manga they all read—of so many boys had caused something to snap in her head.
Combined with being ambushed by larger and larger groups of boys, it did not take long for her to stop holding back. She learned to hit hard, hit fast, hit precisely enough to incapacitate in one blow, to inflict as much pain as possible without permanently crippling anyone. Even the most stubborn and insensitive boy would eventually give up and go away if he was beaten soundly enough, she was certain of it. It was just a matter of figuring out the required level of punishment. Since she was not out to kill anyone, she still had a decent crowd of "suitors" when Ranma first arrived. By then, her opinion of boys had hardened into a damning prejudice. Ranma was as tough and tenacious as Kuno, and not only did he live with her, he had the engagement as an excuse to try all sorts of perverted things with her, and her own family would cheer him on! Was it surprising that she made it a priority, a virtual reflex, to discourage any possible intimate interest he could possibly have in her?
Akane had never once doubted the justice, the necessity of beating on Ranma. She had been grateful for any excuse. He was such a threat that she unconsciously shifted from retaliating for any physical assault (because they were conspicuously absent) to lashing out for verbal and emotional assaults. He hurt her, she was justified in hurting him back. Maybe if he had not traded insults with all the enthusiasm that went into sparring with his father, maybe if he was not as good at targeting his verbal attacks as his physical ones, she would not have felt that her only effective way of expressing herself involved instruments of blunt trauma. The fact that she almost always managed to pound him when she needed to, occasionally stunned her. She knew damned well he could defend himself. He had proven that there was nothing she could do to even touch him if he did not want her to. She would never hurt someone who could not defend themselves, but some one who WOULD not defend himself; either he had nothing but contempt for her ability or he knew he deserved to get hit. It practically guaranteed he would get hit. It was not like he had not proved he could also take anything she could dish out.
Well, except literally.
Akane clenched her fists and forced herself not to think about how he mocked her cooking. It just figured that the one thing she went out of her way to do, trying to be nice to him, he rejected vehemently. It was just proof that he had no interest in meeting her halfway, that he had no consideration for her feelings!
Until this week, Akane had never even imagined she could seriously injure Ranma. He could be hurt, she had seen that plenty of times, but he always bounced back miraculously. It took a real serious hit just to get his attention. But, confronted with a shaken, confused and vulnerable Ranma, Akane had proven she could restrain herself. Faced with a situation where Ranma was being destroyed before her eyes, a situation that could literally kill him, she finally grasped that he was merely human. More than that, he might actually be a decent person. Someone to be cherished and protected from those who sought to use or abuse him.
Someone who had vanished as quickly as she had glimpsed him, to be replaced by someone she hardly knew. Someone she should have known all along. Someone she was literally obligated to have spent most of the past year getting to know. The person behind all the posturing—and maybe Ranma had to accept who he was, as a real girl, to be able to drop all the bull-shit. What mattered was that what remained was Ranma's true character. A person who did the things that needed to be done, regardless of the personal cost. A person who refused to give up and die simply because no one else ever survived the challenge she faced. A person who worried about who she would become more than who she could no longer be.
Ranma-chan had shed her arrogance and machismo along with her identity and had become a much easier person to get along with. The feelings that occasionally flared up in Akane for Ranma had been encouraged by this wonderful glimpse of her humanity, making her more real, and making "Ranma" more of a caricature by comparison. The odd thing was, that boy, the new Ranma, was not a counterfeit. That was the problem. He was better than the "original" or perhaps it was more appropriate to say he truly represented the original Ranma, a normal, uncursed young man. Genma's son. Physically, mentally, emotionally, the genuine article. He was exactly what "Ranma" was supposed to be! So naturally she resented him—being engaged to him—more than ever. Just as their fathers had pushed this date in response to her matchmaking with Ranko and Ryouga, they would push for a quick marriage and the haunting thought put her more on edge than ever.
She had no more desire to be married now than she did when she first learned of the engagement. She had learned to like "Ranma", to respect his abilities and even appreciate some of his charm, but he had a lot of character faults and he really did know how to rub her the wrong way. He acted like a jerk, whether he knew it or not. The insults and the violence had become a feature of their relationship and she could not fix it alone. If Ranma could take her seriously, just a little, and not laugh at her all the time, even when she was… no especially when she was mad at him, she would never overcome her temper. Knowing she was overdoing it, and vowing to stop, would never amount to anything if he constantly infuriated her to the point where she could not remember such noble resolutions.
Her mind continued to wrestle with such thoughts as she walked. Eventually she encountered Ranma on his way back to meet her. Without speaking, they fell into step and turned towards the shopping district of Nerima in search of a place to eat. Their twice interrupted date was waiting.
Ranma concealed his surprise at the worried expression on Akane's face when they met up. He had been doing some thinking, and clearly she had done the same. It was funny, really, but he had actually felt a kind of relief at being blasted by her. It seemed so familiar, he could almost imagine things were back to normal. Akane could be real violent, and woe to any boy who insulted her, but the truth was, she had mellowed out quite a bit. She no longer lashed out at every boy for being male. In fact she had been very nice to several, usually the ones trying to kidnap or marry her. Shinnosuke was the big exception. He was also the reason she had been creeping him out. She had begun to treat him the way she had treated Shinnosuke, and he understood now that she had been so nice out of guilt and concern, because he was dying and she felt partially responsible. She was still like that around Ranma-chan.
He frowned slightly. Thanks to Shampoo and Ukyo, back at the clinic, he was painfully conscious of his 'counterfeit' status, and Akane's concern for Ranma-chan suggested she did not think of him as the real Ranma either. That hurt, particularly after Ranko had rubbed his face in the feelings he quietly harbored for her and normally kept hidden even from himself. So, while he resented being hit by her as much as ever, it was comforting that at least her reflexes, her temper, recognized him as Ranma. Ranma was the only person she ever cut loose on like that. Well, for such a trivial reason, anyway.
After walking for a while in silence, they finally came to the restaurant Ranma had chosen for the night. It was an expensive, fine dining establishment, spared from competition with the Cat Café and Ucchan's through the simple expedient of out-classing them in every category except quality of food, where it was hit or miss. A quick consultation with Nabiki had established which dishes were exceptional and which were to be avoided, and how to make a reservation that would not disappear the instant Ranma and Akane were recognized as two of the notorious martial artists of Furinkan High. Still well funded from Nabiki's kick-backs on Monday, Ranma could afford both the advice and the bribes necessary to reach their seats. Once they were left to peruse their menus, Ranma leaned forward and whispered menu suggestions from Nabiki. Akane thanked him, and this started up conversation at last.
"This place is a lot nicer than I expected," Ranma commented, taking in the decor. The tables were set high, western style, with fine linen table cloths and napkins, western eating utensils, stiff, high backed chairs. He felt himself automatically slipping into the manners ingrained during his martial dining training. "I think the head chef has been on that show Kasumi and Pops like to watch," he informed her, sharing another tidbit Nabiki had armed him with.
"Iron Chef? I think I've seen you watching as much as them," Akane smiled. She looked around, "Nabiki has brought the family here once or twice for special occasions, like when she cleared the second mortgage on the dojo. Oh, and when Kasumi graduated."
Ranma smiled and nodded. That must have made Kasumi feel like a queen, he mused. She was so self effacing, a celebration in her honor would be like a day in heaven, too good to be true. "Well, I hope you like it. If not for Picolet, I would not be sure about going to a French restaurant. The French go for some really strange food, stuff I've only had to eat to keep from starving!" he laughed easily.
"You mean, like frog's legs?" she smirked.
"Oh, just the legs? Maybe that's the trick," he looked surprised. "Well, next time I won't eat the whole thing, maybe that way I won't get sick!"
"Oh, you didn't!" she gasped, laughing.
"Well, the way Pop's cooked 'em, I didn't know they were even frogs until he told me afterwards." They laughed together, companionably. Ranma decided he liked this Akane, smiling, laughing, seemingly carefree. The worried Akane made him feel like someone had set snakes loose in his belly. He sighed and composed himself. The waiter arrived and took their orders. In the silence following his retreat, Ranma found himself studying the items on the table. He realized that he had pushed his water glass as far from him as he could manage without putting it in front of Akane, and started laughing again.
Akane gave a confused frown, "What's so funny?"
Ranma grinned at her and reached for his glass, "This." He carefully took a deep swallow and placed it precisely where it belonged, above his knife. "I am so used to avoiding it, I pushed my water away without even thinking about it," he chuckled slightly and gave a sigh.
Akane did not laugh with him. Her face went blank, almost sad.
"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning.
Akane tightened her jaw, biting back the first thing that came to her lips. She shook her head and forced a smile, "Nothing. I was just thinking."
"Ah, damn," he sagged. "I shouldn't have reminded you."
"No. I'm sorry, I…" Akane pleaded quickly.
"You don't have to dance around it," he interrupted gently. "Ukyo and Shampoo have both said it to my face. You still think I am a copy. I can understand that," he sighed.
"I don't know what to think. It's just strange. All of it."
"You know, I remember your reaction when Nabiki told me I was being replaced by my copy," he confessed impulsively. She looked at him startled. He gave her a grim smile. "It's funny, isn't it? To me, Copy-kun was both a different person, an' about two days of having no memories of who I was. For me, I walked into a room, sort of like walking into a dream, an' when I walked out, I was cured. I knew before I even walked out what I was walking away from. Not just the curse, but from my old life. The old mummy warned me I lost more than just the ability to become a girl, and I didn't understand. I didn't want to understand."
Akane stared at him, trying to understand what he was saying.
Ranma took a deep breath and shrugged, when she remained stumped. "I can't argue that this isn't a copy of my body," he pointed out, casually. "My first instinct was to think of the other Ranma as the copy, the flawed version. But every now and then we fall into the same pattern of thoughts or actions, an' I realize that she's me. Both of them, really. Ranko has it bad, 'cuz she… it's her worst nightmare come true. I feared it more than death, from the day Herb locked my curse. Once I knew it could happen, I feared the day it WOULD happen. Ranma-chan, though. She makes me ashamed of everything I am, 'cuz, while I haven't changed or done nothin', I've taken everything away from her, forced her to become what she is." He looked down at his hands, which had dropped and folded in his lap.
"Do you wish you never came back out of the mirror?" Akane sought out his eyes. She was trying real hard to understand what he was telling her, calling on the story Cologne had told them. "You were a girl when you pulled Ranko out, there was no reflection of a boy in the mirror until you changed. It would not have been the same as leaving her in the mirror."
"I wondered if anyone else would see that," he sighed. A bitter laugh escaped him. Meeting her eyes he smiled sadly, "It's sort of funny. I made the decision as… thinkin' I'd be stuck with the curse, knowing that I'd lose it all, and I did it for Ranko. I did it so she would not have to face this alone," he rubbed his hands over his face then stopped covering his eyes and resting the weight of his head on the table through his elbows. In a very subdued voice, he confessed, "I was supposed to be where Ranma-chan is."
"You won by losing," she realized, softly.
"I got what I really wanted, when I no longer wanted it," he nodded. Straightening, he squared his shoulders and hardened his features. His eyes were focused on something only he could see. "There was one good reason for this," he declared. "It was Pop's idea, but it was on 'Ranko's' mind when I let her out of the mirror. 'Ranma' had to be a true man for my Mom. I made that decision the morning he confronted me with his plan to make Copy-kun me. I didn't think it would be ME, but I wanted to be able to give her that. I made promises to myself, one of them Ranma-chan has kept, by giving everything up. This one, I have to keep. I am here because I love my Mother more than life itself. This, living like this, is the promise I have to keep to Ranma-chan and Ranko."
Akane felt herself sagging under the emotional weight of this confession. Taking deep breaths to keep tears from coming to her eyes, she told herself she had the answer she was looking for. That real human being she saw in Ranma-chan, that she hoped existed in her reflection; she had found him. "You were about to say something, about my reaction to your Dad's plan, before you explained this. Is there some connection?" she asked hesitantly.
He fiddled with his napkin in silence for a moment, not sure if he should answer. He had changed tracks to avoid it, but what he had said instead almost made it worse. "I know you don't want the engagement. I also knew…" he sighed and tried to meet her eyes again. "I also knew when I made the decision to 'bring Copy-kun' back, that even if I didn't you'd still be stuck with it. I knew if I did, you'd think I was trying to get out of it. It sorta felt like that, too, since I didn't think I'd be here." He looked down and gestured to himself.
"You're not exactly Copy-kun," Akane pointed out, trying to head him off. The truth was, it had bothered her at the time, the idea of losing Ranma just when it started to seem possible to genuinely care for him, and being stuck with a facsimile she KNEW was a complete pervert. "I admit it's been difficult to believe you really are Ranma, not just a copy with all his memories. But I don't think I really knew you, either of you, well enough to understand the difference. Not until now," she confessed, blushing.
"Huh?" he sat back in confusion, that really surprised him.
"I didn't expect this," she clarified, gesturing at him vaguely. "I thought it would take forever for Copy-kun to remember being Ranma, but instead, he goes away one morning and that afternoon THREE Ranmas come home. You were all so much alike everyone's focusing on the differences and making a big deal out of them because none of us can deal with you being in three places at once."
"Heh! You should try it from this side!" he crossed his arms.
"From what I can see, it's a wonder you're all sane and haven't tried to kill each other," she frowned, taking a sip of water and looking down.
"If it'd caught me by surprise, if I hadn't spent the night thinking about it before hand, I probably would've completely lost it," he admitted. "I'd hate havin' what's happening to the other two happenin' to me, but it bothers me a lot more to be watchin' it happen from the side. It's a lot easier for me to understand what's happening to Ranko, I had to face that, all of it, with the chisuiiton and the koi-rod and Picolet. I can imagine all a' that happenin' at once, an' know what she's goin' through. Sorta all balances itself out. I think I could survive that. What I hate is what's happening to the other me."
"Me too," Akane folded her hands on the table and studied him. She returned to the point he had yet to fully explain and frowned. "What you were saying, then, is that she made the decision for you to be here. She's the reason I am 'stuck' with you?"
Ranma winced at her emphasis of his wording, but nodded.
"But you, since it was you at the time, weren't trying to get out of the engagement," she stated, picking up on the concern he had expressed.
"This engagement was not our choice," he pointed out. "We've both said that enough times, it'd be stupid to say we wouldn't wanna get out of it. It's a matter of honor, though, so we put up with it. Together. In a way, it kinda put us both on the same side. Us verses our dads. It kinda means we have to depend on each other, or bad stuff, like what happened with Nabiki, ends up happenin'." Ranma could see from the expression twisting Akane's face that his words were either confusing her or starting to freak her out. "Aww, man! I'm just not good at talking about stuff like this! What I mean is, there was no way in hell I was gonna let my old man hitch you up with Copy-kun. This engagement is my obligation. But I can't object to 'myself' as a substitute, so there was nothing I could do to convince you I was not leaving you in the dust to marry some jerk in my place."
Akane carefully tried not to comment on that. Her face betrayed her.
"As far as I am concerned, I am still here. I ain't gone nowhere. If anything I've actually fixed a problem since you no longer have to worry about bein' engaged part-time to a girl," he pushed on, ignoring the look that spoke volumes about the "jerk" she had already been engaged to.
Akane stared at him for a long time, realizing that Ranma felt he had explained what he originally meant. The other things he had said, when he was trying to dodge the point, suddenly clicked into place. Akane frowned in concern, "You're saying she… you… did this for me?"
Ranma nodded once. "You and Mom," he clarified.
Akane sat in stunned silence.
After a while, Ranma cleared his throat, "Of course, that just creates a new problem." Akane tilted her head, waiting for him to go on, unable to speak yet. Ranma sighed. "As soon as it's safe for me to meet Mom, Pops and Mr. Tendo are going to rush us directly to a priest or something to get us married and seal the deal permanently. Even with the curse, it was hard to keep them from pushing, but really it was because of Mom they never pulled it off. Mom would kill Pops if she missed the wedding. I am sure he thought me being married would balance out the curse, prove me manly enough somehow that she wouldn't force us to commit seppuku, but there still would have been hell to pay for makin' her miss the big day."
"It occurred to me too," Akane finally spoke.
"I don't wanna be married, and I don't think you do either…"
"I…" Akane tried to interrupt.
"It's not you, Akane. It's us," he cut her off. "For one thing, we're way too young. We can hardly get along on a date, and there is no way we could get married without Shampoo and Ukyo, or Kodachi, flipping out and trying to stop it. Shampoo gave you the kiss of death, for cryin' out loud! If I had not made it very clear that I would kill her if she tried to follow up on that, she would have found some way of murdering you already."
Akane flinched. "You're kidding! You don't think she'd dare…?"
Ranma sighed, "When she was after me, she was not jokin' around, Akane. I don't think she's ever killed anyone before, and I don't know if she could do it without hesitating. You didn't defeat her in combat, so she can probably only act against you if you become an 'obstacle' and getting married to me would guarantee that!"
Akane paused in thought.
"At least you only have the one engagement to worry about, but you also have to deal with the mess I am in. It would be stupid to rush ahead with all that up in the air," he complained.
"Did you really threaten Shampoo?"
"She knows how it is," he evaded. "It's one thing if people try to kill me, I'm sorta getting used to it, an' it's not that different from all the people chasin' after me for stuff that Pops or Happosai's done. Threatenin' my friends or family, though, I'll never stand for that."
Akane decided not to press the question, and switched tracks. "You say you accepted the engagement to me out of obligation to your family. Out of honor. What about the other engagements?"
"People think it's just a matter of me picking the girl I want," he snorted. "The fact is, there's usually someone else's honor somehow at stake. The ones I could get out of I've dealt with as they've come up. For some, all they had to do is see the curse in action, and they'd drop it. Then there's the ones from stupid scams my old man pulled, but if no one was gonna get hurt I could fight my way out of 'em. Some have been plain dumb, some jerk fallin' all over himself to marry my girl side for one stupid reason or another." Ranma scowled and brushed those aside with a wave of his hand. "Kodachi is just plain crazy, and there will never be anything there. She's only around 'cuz she keeps butting in. Ukyo…" he sighed.
"She's your friend, and your father took her dowry," Akane noted.
"Exactly. Pops totally dismissed her, but there's a debt there I can't ignore. That is a matter of family honor, and I have to face it since he won't. Shampoo, however," he rolled his eyes, "she's a problem we both created, and I just don't know how to deal with her. Apart from the fact she might actually kill anyone who gets in her way, she does have honor at stake. She can't just walk away from me without losing face, or worse."
"Do you… want any of us?' Akane asked timidly.
"I don't dare make a choice," Ranma shrugged. "If I choose one, I offend the honor of the others. Since they're all arrangements to satisfy honor, I don't have any choices to begin with. The point is, as long as these other claims are valid, there's no honorable way our parents can force us to get married. I can't get out of it, and you can't get out of it, but there's a chance Ukyo and Shampoo will find other men to marry, and abandon their claim to me. All we have to do is make our parents see that, and we have as long as it takes for them to find someone else to figure out what to do about our engagement."
Akane took careful note of the expression on Ranma's face and realized he had been driving toward this from the beginning. This had been some kind of plan that had evolved while Ranma was dealing with his father's scheme to replace him. It did not take a genius to see that Genma had only been concerned with pushing the marriage forward, using whatever means he could. Going into detail about how conscious he had been of Akane being stuck with the engagement, how the "cure" made it more likely they would be forced to marry sooner, then finally coming up with a decent explanation for why he was stringing all of his fiancées along, Ranma was "doing it all for her". It worked for him, too, but he was proposing it to her, why else point out that they were "on the same side"? It was a nice idea, if they both objected to the marriage, to team up to postpone it inevitably, but there was one thing he had missed. "Uh, I hate to ruin your plans, but they already have, I think."
"What?"
"They're both after Ranma-chan," Akane pointed out.
"Oh no…" Ranma paled.
"Yeah, so what you were about to suggest, how we could keep stalling our dads? I don't think that will work," Akane sighed.
Ranko studied Ryouga from across the table, while her thoughts tumbled back to their arrival at the restaurant. In spite of Nodoka's warning, they arrived with time to spare, so while Ryouga waited, Nodoka ushered Ranko to the ladies room for a "chat". That was enough to set the boy turned girl on edge, but Nodoka mistook her nervousness for something else. Something she wanted to address before excusing herself while the two of them ate. Because the lavatory was occupied when they entered, she ushered Ranko into a stall and entered one herself. Since she had no clue why Nodoka dragged her in there, she spent the next few minutes trying to figure out how to go to the bathroom without getting completely undressed. Finally deciding on the same solution that occurred to her for fighting in the slinky outfit, she hiked the dress up around her waist, slipped her panties down and tried her hardest to ignore the sounds emanating from the surrounding stalls while she relieved herself. Fortunately, two women were going about their business without a pause in their loud conversation. Unfortunately, the topic of their conversation was one Ranko had never imagined two women would speak so openly, and in great detail, about.
"And Akane thinks BOYS are perverts!" she huffed, her face burning.
The distinct sound of Nodoka's laughter informed her that her comment had not been as quiet as she thought. Soon enough, the scandalous conversation drifted out the door, with the women who laughing over Ranko's comment. Ranko slunk out of the stall to wash her hands, and found her mother waiting to talk to her.
"Ranko-chan, I think those ladies have provided a perfect excuse to bring up a topic I have been meaning to speak with you about," she smiled, turning the faucet and quickly washing her own hands. Ranko whipped around to stare at her in shock. Her mother wanted to talk to her about sex!? The terror must have shown in her eyes, since Nodoka began to laugh again. "Oh, my! I can see you've never had to talk about this with anyone before. I would have thought Kasumi might have taken you aside by now."
Ranko boggled even more. "Ka-Ka-Kasumi!?" She swallowed. She would have sworn, if anyone alive had been more oblivious about sex than herself, it had to be sweet, innocent Kasumi.
Nodoka sighed, and offered a motherly smile. As intended it did calm the girl down a bit. "I imagine that most of what you know about sex comes from overhearing talk such as that. That is quite insufficient for a well mannered lady. At your age, girls are quite susceptible to being taken advantage of, by their own hormones and ignorance, as much as by the boys who court them. A girl as pretty as yourself should not start dating without certain knowledge and precautions, because, however well meaning, and however unintentional, things can get quite sticky before you know it."
"Mo- Auntie Nodoka! I am NOT going to be sleeping with Ryouga!" Ranko declared hotly. The very idea was frightening, worse because even as she denied it, the idea set off all sorts of strange, compelling feelings.
"Oh, Ranko-chan! I am sure you were not thinking of doing that. While you seem to lack a certain feminine modesty, you are not entirely lacking in common sense. A girl like yourself could not have been so close to a boy such as my son without possessing a great deal of restraint. Just the same, there's no magical curse to discourage you and Ryouga," she pointed out. "So, I just want to make sure you are prepared."
"I, uh, really ain't- am not interested in mess- taking risks with sex. The last thing I can deal with right now is being pregnant!" she declared with conviction. She was glad Copy-chan had sorted out that mystery before taking her experiments with "making love" too far!
"Quite so! I am glad to see you understand the consequences of that! Too many girls, even today, grow up uninformed about the simple basics of human reproduction. It's scandalous!" Nodoka shook the water from her hands and dried them on a towel. Seeing Ranko had done the same, she took a moment to help straighten the girl's dress and check her hair, continuing, "Now, the first question is, have you been seen by a gynecologist?"
Ranko frowned. She was not too sure, but she seemed to recall the Tendo sisters occasionally had appointments to see a gynecologist, but the one time she asked what it was about, Nabiki had gotten a scary look on her face, splashing her with cold water, and threatened to take "her" along to find out for herself. At the time, anything that required being female to participate in she objected to out of hand. "Uh, Nabiki sort of gave me the idea that I really would not want to do that," she hedged.
Nodoka looked unexpectedly upset, "That girl! I never expected she could be so irresponsible!"
"I don't- I am not even sure what a gynecologist is," Ranko intercepted, explaining, "She knew that, so she was just teasing me! I am sure it's just, ah, something that she knew would make me really uncomfortable. She probably meant no harm." Ranko could not believe she was defending Nabiki. Even so, Nodoka still frowned and muttered something about having a talk with the middle Tendo daughter.
"It is uncomfortable, to be sure, but it is a necessity for women's health. Well then, it's safe to assume you have not started on birth control," Nodoka sighed and began to fumble in her purse. She pulled out a small black evening bag and handed it to Ranko. "I forgot to give this to you earlier, but I didn't think you would have to carry anything on your date, with me along." She reached into her purse again and pulled out a handful of foil wrapped packages. Ranko recognized them by sight, having seen boys trading them in the locker room at school. She handed all but one of them to Ranko, "Put these in your purse, and make sure you have them handy at all times. Now, do you know what a condom is for and how to use it?"
Ranko paled and then blushed. The answer to the question was a resounding no, save for the fact that she could define the word in context. She was positive she did not want to hear more on this subject, since she already knew from Hiroshi and Daisuke that it figured intimately in the act they fantasized about so avidly, which for her had only recently become recognized as sex. Unable to speak, she shook her head.
Nodoka sighed. The poor girl REALLY needed a mother. "Don't they have a sex education program at your school?" she asked in a pained voice.
Ranko blanched. Good Heavens! Did the actually teach THAT at school!? Swallowing painfully she blurted, "I hope not!"
Nodoka barely restrained herself from kissing the floor. Clearly the girl had some notion what sex was, and completely the wrong idea what sex education was. "I can see you and I have a few busy weekends ahead of us, young lady. They do not teach children to have sex in school, if that's what you are worried about," she corrected primly, eyebrows arched in chagrin. "At the risk of shocking you, I am going to cover the basics, since this is the only protection I can give you at the moment, aside from taking the pair of you straight home."
Ranko groaned in despair. It had to be a nightmare!
It had been agonizing to stand through the lecture and demonstration, trying not to wonder why her mother carried an object so well suited to the lesson in her purse. It was bad enough that when she stared at it her mother promised they would go shopping to buy Ranko one of her own, though she winked and assured the girl she should figure out what to do with it on her own. Once Nodoka was satisfied that Ranko understood how to apply this lesson to a situation involving Ryouga, she led them out of the restroom and over to the table where they spotted him waiting nervously. Ranko could not imagine how he could possibly be as nervous as she, now. She also wondered why her dress did not burst into flames from the heat of her furious blush. Even through ordering and the arrival of their meal, her mind was haunted by what her mother had caused her to envision. Poor Ryouga was so flustered by the way she was staring at him, he had not managed to utter a single coherent word.
"Ryouga?" she finally asked.
"Ah! I… Um… Wh-wha- er… R-Ra-Ranko?" he stammered.
"What are you so nervous about?"
"Wh-why d-do you k-ke-keep LOOKING at me l-like y-you wanna EAT m-me?" he heroically fought his way through the whole question.
Ranko blushed and tried to make a joke out of it, "Um. They didn't have any pork items on the menu?" Ryouga flinched, his chopsticks flung across the room as he recoiled away from her. She grinned. "Just kidding! I mean it, I was just kidding!"
Ryouga glared at her hatefully.
Feeling absolutely horrid, remembering too late just how traumatized he was by people's attempts—her own father's attempts!—to eat him, and bowed her head. Clearing her throat, she confided, "Actually, I am sorta freakin' out because my Mom just taught me how to use a condom." As intended, that distracted him from her insult. The food he was chewing spurted out of his mouth, spraying the man at the next table, as Ryouga convulsed in shock. From the sound of it, the woman at the table behind Ranko had also done a spit-take all over her date. At least she was laughing about it, Ryouga was too busy keeling over in his chair with a resounding thud.