Ranma Nibunnoichi - Reflections
A. V. Morgan
Part Thirty-Three: Cures and Confrontations
In light of Nodoka's response to Cologne's probing, it seemed obvious that if Ranma's identity were revealed in her current form she would be doomed to spend the rest of her life as a woman. With a minimum of encouragement, Kasumi was left to keep Nodoka distracted helping make breakfast while Nabiki rounded up all of the teens and assembled them in the dojo to bring them up to speed. Genma was revived by Soun and rushed into the training hall as well, since the panda had been unconscious through much of the morning scene. There was a little debate about finding Ranma and Fa Shen and having them hear this too, but no one knew where they were. Or rather, Mousse decided not to inform everyone that Fa Shen slept at Dr. Tofu's and Ranma had gone over to discuss some sexual healing. He could just imagine the chaos if someone interrupted that particular conversation! However, before the father's could bring the meeting to order, Ranko pounced—or angrily flopped—on Cologne, demanding an explanation of her own condition.
"You used that antidote stuff on me instead of Chisuiiton water!?" she shouted. "How could that lock my curse!? What's going on!?"
"Calm down, child," Cologne begged. With her staff, she pushed the half limp girl onto her rear and arranged her limbs so she could balance herself sitting upright, Indian fashion. "I thought I dropped enough details for you to figure this out for yourself. It was not easy to explain without completely tipping your mother off."
"Geez, Ranko. You honestly haven't figured it out?" Nabiki jabbed.
"What's to figure out!? It sounds like Pops doped Mom to get a son!" she cried, glaring at Genma. "What do you have to say for yourself, Old Man!?"
Genma reached for a sign and proceeded to write in an even more unsteady scrawl than normal. Akane picked up the kettle Soun had brought in and dumped hot water over the panda's head, scowling.
"Try being a man for once in your life!" she grated menacingly.
Genma swallowed and went into classic Saotome denial gestures, "Now, wait. It's not my fault…" Blows rained down as Ryouga, Shampoo, Ukyo and Akane demonstrated the effectiveness of their trademark blunt instruments. Genma crawled out from under the pile of mallet, giant spatula, mallet and umbrella and started again. "Don't any of you know how to show your elders some respect!?" he shouted. A wall of narrow eyes and hefted weapons stared him down. Sagging, he continued, "I will admit as much as expressing my desire to have a son to my old Master, Happosai…" There was a collective groan, as he confirmed the worst. "Please, try to understand. Nodoka and I were married around the same time Soun wed his beloved wife. He was already the proud father of two beautiful daughters and my greatest concern was that Nodoka might be barren and our dream of uniting the two schools would never come to pass," he protested, eyes tearing dramatically.
"Spare us the sob story, Pops! Get to the point!"
"Very well, 'Boy'!" he huffed at his "daughter". "I will say now that the first I ever heard of Togenkyo water was our recent adventure with Prince Toma. That said, my master gave me a flask of water and instructed me to administer three drops a day in Nodoka's food or drink, for a month. She would then be ready to produce a son. He warned me that the water contained a powerful medicine; any more than the prescribed amount could endanger Nodoka's health, and I was careful to follow the instructions exactly. As promised, Nodoka became pregnant a month later and eventually gave birth to my son."
"Too bad that was the only time you ever followed instructions," Ranko muttered bitterly. She looked down at herself and cleared her throat. "This is the body that Ranma was born in. Since I didn't die in the bath, I suppose that means… What exactly? I mean, even if the antidote worked, I was a girl when you used it. How did it block the curse?"
Cologne took a deep breath and perched on her staff again. "There was one detail I left out, because of Nodoka. A few of the girls restored by the antidote had the misfortune, as boys, to become cursed. When the antidote restored their natural forms, the curses disappeared. As these were animal curses, no one expected such a thing to happen. However," Cologne paused dramatically. Seeing she had everyone's full attention, she continued, "One of the things that made it possible to cure the Togenkyo transformation, which seemed permanent, was the fact that it masked the true form of it's subject and did not use her ki in the transformation. Like most antidotes, the cure is in the poison, so the cure uses the same magic to unmask the subject's true form. Now, it seems that a Jusenkyo curse is rooted in the form of the victim. When those 'boys' were cursed, the curse attached itself to the mask. Once the mask was removed, the curse went with it."
Ranko looked at herself again. "Wait. This is Ranma's true form? How? It's exactly the same as the cursed form!" she cried. Then she did a double take, "Wait. This means… I am cured?"
Cologne hummed thoughtfully. "It is true, you are now just a normal girl. No boy mask, no curse. As for why you have the same form as Fa Shen," she shrugged. "Some souls have a preference for a certain appearance, so it is not unusual to see them reincarnated identical to their former selves. How it happened in this case, I have only one conjecture. It has been noted that victims strongly marked by Fa Shen in the nyanniichaun tended to produce offspring with the same features. From that, and some things your mother said, I would guess that your mother is descended from, or perhaps even is, one of those victims."
Ranko boggled. More than once, the resemblance of Ranko to Nodoka at the same age had been mentioned. Now that Nodoka's hair was revealed to be the same brilliant crimson, the resemblance was only stronger. Shaking her head, she mused, "I doubt Mom was cursed. She would have suspected the truth right away if she had been. Still… Her mom?" Ranko shrugged. Having learned that her mother's parents were dead, there was no way to find out.
Cologne waved the question off, for the same reason. "We cannot know. What we do know, however, is that this is good news for you, Ranko!" she smiled finally. Ranko decided she had gotten used to Cologne. She didn't flinch from the terrifying grimace the expression produced on her shrunken, wrinkled head. Ranko, like the others, scratched her head and exchanged random glances, unable to see how there was an upside to this discovery, so Cologne just rolled her eyes and voiced it, unprompted. "You're taking all the fun out of being a wise old woman! Ranko. Your curse was the last tie to the Mirror of Broken Souls."
This stunned the crowd.
"Congratulations, Ranko! You survived it!" Akane was the first to get it.
"It… it's over?" Ranko blinked in disbelief.
"I knew you could do it, sugar!" Ukyo pushed forward to hug her.
"Shampoo so so glad for Ranko!" she delivered with a full body glomp.
"Old Woman! Are you certain of this!?" Genma demanded. At Cologne's nod, Genma turned to hug Soun. "Do you hear that old friend? We can go to Jusenkyo at once! It is safe to travel!"
"This is wonderful news, Saotome-kun! I am so happy for you! And, once Ranma is back to normal, we can return home and celebrate with a big wedding!" the Tendo patriarch cried out, showering tears over the crowd. With a collective shout, the group darted out of range of the waterworks muttering. Even though the dousing was harmless, Ranko sighed her thanks to Shampoo and Ukyo for swiftly dragging her out of the spray.
"Um…!" Akane blurted out. "What if Ranma… er… wants to remain a girl?" she asked in a voice that grew more timid as eyes fixed on her.
"What is this? What can you mean, Akane?" Soun bawled.
"Well, we did just learn he was supposed to be a she…" Akane fidgeted. "Doesn't that mean… well, doesn't that give her a choice?" As she was saying this, she was looking at Ryouga. Call it women's intuition, but she had the feeling that something might have been started between those two. The odd way Ranma had blushed and stammered over the oddest things, after returning from her date… Even if the real Ranma had woken up in the middle of it, he had obviously slipped under the influence of the memories he had gotten.
"Why would my son want to be a girl!?" Genma growled.
Akane cringed. "For one thing, his mother won't force him to kill himself if he really is a she."
Nabiki barked a short laugh, "Come on, Akane! Are you sure you aren't just saying that to get out of the engagement?" That was enough to cause both fathers to instantly ignore Akane's input. To everyone's surprise, however, Ukyo suddenly spoke up.
"You know, Akane is right. I'm not saying we should push him to be a girl, but, doesn't he deserve to know he has a choice? I mean, if you keep this a secret, give him a male curse and lock him in it, and he finds out later… I mean, it's as bad as lying to Nodoka all this time!" she marched up and got in Genma's face. "Is that your notion of honor, Genma!? Lie to your wife, lie to your son, lie to everyone around you so you get what you want and no one holds you responsible!?" Ukyo was shaking in subdued anger. It was never far from her mind that it was Genma who was truly responsible for screwing up her life.
Genma scowled. "What would a little girl like you know about honor? Look at you, dressing like a man, running away from your own family… You don't even know your own place, so don't think you can put me in mine," he foolishly wasted his week's allowance of spine in a retaliatory effort to shame the unwanted fiancée.
Ukyo snarled, her vision going red, and whipped her knee into Genma's groin with all the strength she possessed. Staring down at him, after he curled over and dropped to his side, she spat, "Is that womanly enough for you!? Since you cost me my womanhood, maybe I should return the favor, huh?"
Genma whimpered and tried to squirm away from her.
"Oh, yeah. He definitely had that coming," the other teens noted.
Turning to Akane, Ukyo grinned darkly, "If you don't mind, I think I am going to hold on to my claim to Ranma a little longer. I don't see any reason to make things any easier for that old fool!" She turned back to the injured man, "Do you hear that Old Man! Ranma is as much my fiancé as he is Akane's. You better think twice before you start makin' plans for Ranma's life for him. You can't even fix the mess you've created!"
As Ukyo went to storm out of the dojo, Akane stopped her gently with a hand on her shoulder. As Ukyo stared at her, Akane offered a faint smile. "Thanks, Ukyo. I know this sounds weird, but, I think that actually helps," she whispered, trying to keep anyone else from hearing. As Akane returned her attention to the crowd, she noticed Ryouga glaring at Mousse, with what appeared to be a thick dish towel stuffed in his mouth. Mousse was shaking the almost immovable boy and softly lecturing him. Heading over to step in and prevent bloodshed, well aware of the lost boy's quick temper—Ranma had so often exploited it!—she was surprised to see Ryouga suddenly calm down and nod before she arrived.
"What's going on?" she hissed, stepping between them.
"Why, nothing at all!" Mousse smiled falsely.
Ryouga mumbled around the towel and then pulled it out. "Don't worry Akane. It's nothing, really," he grinned nervously.
Akane glared suspiciously, "Are you two still fighting over Ranko?"
They both shook their heads insistently. Shampoo was suddenly at their side, "Stupid Mousse and Lost Boy better leave Ranko alone!"
"You know I can't do that!" Mousse frowned, tracking by voice to look at Shampoo. "I will wait for her to recover, but after that, I will fight her. You cannot interfere, Shampoo."
"Why you be like this, Mousse? Mousse know no can beat Ranko! She too too strong for weak boy like you!" Shampoo twisted her question into a taunt.
"We shall see, Shampoo. We shall see," Mousse turned and dragged Ryouga outside, leaving Akane and Shampoo to look at each other.
"So, what Kitchen Destroyer do now?" Shampoo demanded.
"Me?" Akane straightened, tucking her fists behind her back as she checked her anger at the constant insult Shampoo named her with. "I am going to go eat breakfast and then I am going to school. Oh," Akane added, just before walking out of the dojo, "just a thought, Shampoo. Ranko's all girl now. To get rid of you, all she has to do is stay that way. What do you think your council will make of that?"
Shampoo stood there and gaped as Akane exited. "What that suppose to mean?" she whined.
"It means, dear child, you might want to think twice about harassing Ranko to be a man by throwing yourself at her constantly," Cologne observed, having followed Shampoo over to keep her from coming to blows with Mousse. From the way he had been acting, Mousse might no longer meekly accept one of Shampoo's beatings, and if he chose to defend himself, a matrimonial battle might quickly result. Whatever his shame, if an amazon warrior attacked him and he succeeded in defeating her, the result was valid and his shame was absolved. He might not have to win Ranko to achieve his ultimate goal. "Come along, Shampoo. We have a business to run."
"What about Mousse?"
"I believe Mousse will be focused on training for a while, and it would be best if the two of you had a break from each other. Now, let's stop dawdling." Brooking no further argument, she ushered the girl to their home. That left Nabiki, Ranko and their fathers, one of whom was leaning over the other and uttering empty platitudes to soothe his pain.
"Hey, Pop? Why don't you have a special technique to defend against that? You know, like Fierce Gophers Tunneling Under Earth Technique, or Majestic Mountain Oyster Harvest Leaping Frog Defense? Huh? Huh?" Ranko prodded the fallen man, gesturing expansively to illustrate the hypothetical techniques, grinning evilly. Nabiki tabulated the various remarks and statements she had overheard and decided she was rubbing off on too many people. They were beating her to all the good lines! With a sigh of frustration, and a wry grin, she grabbed Ranko and dragged her inside for breakfast.
There are certain moments in people's lives when waking up is a truly horrifying prospect. Given the memories Ranma and Fa Shen shared, it would seem that this should be a familiar feeling, but without a doubt, they were now experiencing the worst version of this phenomenon. In fact, as they blinked and wondered if Dr. Tofu had really overheard their conversation, it seemed impossible to imagine a worse prospect than having to explain themselves to him. Naturally, they were wrong. The diminutive form bouncing around with big eyes, repeatedly demanding, "Is it true!? Is it true!?" proved that whatever Happosai had lost to age, hearing was not on the list. Blacking out a second time was definitely called for, and when they were roused by Tofu again, they were much better prepared for the coming ordeal. They refused to comment on what the two men overheard until Happosai swore to listen to the full explanation and never, ever, betray their confidence. If he did, the next time he was incapacitated the pair promised they would use the opportunity to finish him off for good. With little hope that would keep him in check, they proceeded to explain what really happened when Ranma was cursed, and how Ranma and Fa Shen had finally emerged from Ranko's shadow.
"So, let me see if I understand this," Happosai interrupted, seeming to have entered his serious mode. Pointing at Fa Shen, he began, "Fifteen hundred years ago, you were drowned at Jusenkyo, creating the Nyanniichaun." Pointing at Ranma, he continued, "This was your original form, and because Ranma is a reincarnation of you, you were able to possess him and escape your grave. But, Ranma fought and the two of you slipped into some sort of coma, and Ranko was born. Even though she was a combination of both of you, she thought she was Ranma until this mirror thing let her shake off his identity. Now, last night, you," he pointed back at Fa Shen, "woke up, you fought Ranko for control of her body and dragged her down where the two of you found and released Ranma." He turned back to the girl and frowned, "Okay, so, why did you end up the girl, while Fa Shen, here, become the boy?"
"It was an accident. The mirror left some connection in Ranko's mind to the reflections. When we found the echoes, we assumed… well, I assumed I had found Ranma," Fa Shen explained, jerking a thumb at Ranma. "Instead, I sort of passed through the image and ended up in this body."
"I see. I take it you can't switch back?" Happosai asked. Ranma shook her head and Fa Shen explained how they had carried their ki with them and left Ranko on the brink of death. Without them to recharge her ki, it could take her years to recover from their separation. "Ah! Well, I might be able to help you there! I know a little something about charging up ki!" Happosai puffed up proudly.
"Uh, actually, we already found a solution," Ranma blushed. The two men looked at her in surprise and urged her to explain. With a sigh, she tried, "Well, I woke up sorta like Fa Shen did, but, uh… under some special circumstances. I didn't think anything of it until I got home and accidentally dumped some ki I had freed up into Ranko. I didn't know I had done it, but when she asked me to think of anything I had done to generate the extra ki, I sorta suspected the answer, and I went and tested somethin' to see if I was right."
Happosai was frowning in thought. He casually laid a hand on Ranma's knee and suddenly jerked in surprise. He turned to stare at her, and she blushed, having expected him to figure it out. He was a rabid pervert after all! "Ranma-chan! You didn't!?" the old man drooled.
"It wasn't my idea, I sorta popped in to something that was, er, already goin' on. That doesn't change the fact that it is the solution to the problem, and since Ranko uses ki from both of us, it's sort of follows that Fa Shen and I have to do that to heal her," Ranma admitted somewhat shamefully.
Dr. Tofu, however, had not jumped to any conclusions. He could put it all together, but he wanted it out in the open. "What, exactly, do you and Fa Shen have to do to heal Ranko, Ranma?"
"We have to have sex together," Fa Shen answered for the girl.
Tofu looked them both in the eye, and saw the honesty behind the embarrassment and fear. He closed his eyes and ran through his pool of knowledge, making adjustments for the situation. A few moments later, he came back from his reverie and met their eyes again. "I can see how this would be an effective way to generate a surplus of ki and transfer it to Ranko. However, a common rule of thumb in medicine is, just because the medicine might work are you required to administer it?" He held up a hand to stall protest. "The human body is an amazing thing, and it is far better at healing itself than any outside treatment can compare to in most cases. This is sort of an extended case of that, since the best solution is a natural one. My point is, just because you can do this, does not mean you must do this. There are other concerns you need to address," Tofu insisted.
"That sounds like you're worried about us, doc," Ranma noted. "Not that I don't appreciate that, it's just… I can't stand to see Ranko so weak and vulnerable! As a martial artist, I have to help if I can. It's not like it's that big a sacrifice, since I've already done it once, and there was nothing I coulda done to prevent it. The worst has already happened."
Fa Shen noticed the underlying hurt, but was more surprised by the note of confusion. It was as if the worst had been, well, unexpectedly far from bad. Hesitantly, he asked, "Did… did you enjoy it?" Ranma immediately flushed to her roots, her face matching the shade of her hair almost perfectly.
Tofu laughed gently, "Ranma, truly it is nothing to be ashamed of. The body is wired for specific sensations—hot, cold; pain, pleasure—and a healthy mind naturally responds to them appropriately." He composed himself and restated his position, "I am not suggesting that there is anything wrong with either of you having sex. I suspect you will enjoy that, since you can hardly help yourselves. I merely point out that this is a, ah, highly unusual situation. Because the pair of you are unwillingly switched to the opposite sex, this activity could easily damage your psyches and leave scars that will never heal. Since the solution to your own problems is to assume a variation of the original curse, and you might always be faced with having two sexes, there is a fair chance that you would eventually engage in sex in your present forms. The only way that can be healthy is if you choose to take that step for your own reasons. If you feel forced into it, you can easily regret it. Don't you agree, Ranma-chan?"
Ranma gave him a grieved look. "I'm not really that upset about havin' sex. But you're right. I sorta wish I had a choice, but I'm also sorta glad I didn't. I'm more worried that I kinda like it and wanna do it again… but maybe I shouldn't. I think I can still be a man, but I doubt anyone else would see it that way if they knew!"
Tofu leaned toward her and smiled, "Personally, I agree with you, Ranma. I don't see any reason why being a fully functional woman would keep you from being a fully functional man. At least not when there is an ability like your old curse involved. Every vehicle has it's particular benefits and limitations, but a skilled pilot, so to speak, is comfortable at the controls of any one that suits his needs." He straightened and took in Fa Shen as well, "However, I am not one to encourage anyone to recklessly attempt something they have not properly considered. There are inherent dangers in becoming sexually active, for anyone, and not just you two."
Ranma smirked, "Yeah, I got that from my Mom too. I got panicked and rushed int… what am I talkin' about!? Damn, fell into the memories again." She frowned and thought for a moment, then shrugged, "What the hell, they're my memories now. This girl," she gestured to herself, "rushed into having sex. Thanks to Mom, we used protection. I'm not gonna get pregnant if I can help it."
"That is only one danger, Ranma-chan. Some of the dangers can be dealt with through similar precautions, such as preventing disease. Since you two are both healthy, as is Ryouga, that is not a major concern. However, there are also social considerations," Tofu pointed out. "I suppose it's more a matter of perception here, since you are versions of the same being. Still, to most people the pair of you having sex would be considered incest."
The couple shouted, with wide, staring eyes, "INCEST!?"
"But, of course you might think of it as closer to masturbation," Tofu modified, emphasizing that any medical professional would assert that was a normal and healthy activity, he pushed on. "Certainly, you have lived different lives, but… You technically share the same body and soul. That said, it really isn't anyone else's business what you do together."
"Quite so, Tofu, my boy!" Happosai crowed. With a shrug and a wicked look he added, "Not that it isn't human nature for people to poke their noses in things that aren't any of their business, especially around here!" With a wild cackle, he started rubbing Ranma's knee imagining his favorite female in some rather explicit fantasies.
Ranma, and to an even more violent degree, Fa Shen, shuddered and attempted to squash the dirty old man like a bug. Said bug twisted and hopped, giving each of his assailants a tiny nudge, and suddenly Ranma and Fa Shen found themselves in a rather compromising position. Looking up at Fa Shen, Ranma squeaked in dismay.
"Ah! Would you get off! You're squishing… Kyaaaa! That's sensitive!"
"I know!!! Waaaaah! I'msorry! I'msorry! Ahhh! So's that!"
"Like I don't know that!"
"Aren't they the perfect couple!?" Happosai purred.
"You are not helping, Happosai," Tofu frowned. Reaching out, he wrested Fa Shen's ankle and flipped him off of Ranma. "Now, as I was saying, it is important the two of you think about what you're planning and, unless it's something you're both comfortable with, and you take the necessary precautions, I suggest you find some other way to help Ranko."
"Well, there's another problem," Ranma sighed, sitting up and straightening her pajamas. "You see, Ranko and me are suddenly amazons 'cuz of Fa Shen, and Mousse challenged Ranko to a marriage duel. He can't do anything 'til she's back to normal, but he has as long as that takes to train. When he really puts his mind to it, he's actually pretty good, and you remember what happened when he fought me when I had the C-C-Cat's Tongue on me."
Tofu blinked and sighed. "I see. That would make healing Ranko a priority. If I have reservations about young people rushing into sex, that is nothing compared to the feelings I have about them being rushed into marriage. People need the time and freedom to grow up at a healthy pace," he rubbed his hands over his face. While he had much respect for the amazons and their culture, it would do them a lot of good to come out of the stone age in a number of respects. "Unless Happosai has some suggestions for an alternative method, I will have to leave the matter of you two proceeding to your own judgment. Happosai?" he turned to the tiny martial-arts master.
"I am afraid there's nothing as safe or efficient that I could suggest, short of natural healing. Nothing I could offer would be as quick. A few hot nights in the sack, and bam! Ranko will be back to normal! Can't beat that with all the shiatsu slight of hand in the world!" Happosai grinned. He rubbed his hands and held them out toward the couple in anticipation, as if he were warming them before a fire.
They looked at him with nervous laughter. As luck would have it, this was the man fate seemed to have chosen to act as their chaperone. To prove this, Happosai brought up the next big problem. "Well, it would not do for you kiddies to be caught in the act so, what now? We need to think of a nice, private place where you can go to work and fear no interruptions!" Ranma and Fa Shen cringed in terror. Happosai hunched over in thought, before jumping up and holding up the compact in triumph. "It's perfect! We'll put you two in here and I'll guard it so no one goes in or out until it's safe!"
"Where did you get that?"
"What? Well, this little toy has proven itself to be an all to convenient way for certain people to stick me out of the way. Do you honestly think I'd leave it just laying around? Certainly not!" he scolded them.
They exchanged suspicious looks and demanded, "What's to keep you from tryin' to peak on us and getting trapped inside with us? Huh? Then what?" Shaking their heads, they declared, "No way. Not a chance, you sick pervert!"
"Good heavens! You wound me!" Happosai clutched his heart. Flipping the compact in the air and tucking it back in his gi, he shrugged, "It's not like I can't imagine it just as well, and honestly, I can't do anything with sexual energy. I could hardly sort the male energy from the female energy, and, personally, the amount of ki that is freed up that way is a million times greater than the residue I normally handle." He shuddered, remembering the debilitating effects of Fa Shen's chi attack. The amount of residual female ki in that attack had probably added twenty years to his life.
"Huh?"
"I mean, it'll be hard enough dealing with the energy that seeps out through the mirror. I would not want to be in there with you. For all I know, that much energy would make me explode," Happosai giggled. What a way to go!
"Wouldn't that mean…"
"…that using female ki to sustain himself…"
"…he made it so he can…"
"…never have sex?"
"It's like listening to twins," Tofu grinned.
"Why do you think I avoid Cologne whenever possible, and annoy the hell out of her whenever she gets close?" Happosai demanded.
"You find Cologne attractive?" Ranma twitched.
Happosai scowled, "Listen, you little whippersnapper! She and I go way back! Besides, it's sort of a matter of scale. What am I supposed to do with a young woman like yourself with boobs bigger than I am!?"
"Gah! Don't even ask! I don't wanna accidently picture it!" the pair cringed. After a moment, they looked at each other and gaped, "Hey! We're in sync! How the hell…?"
"Ranma's memories," Happosai yawned. "Get used to it."
"Ranko's memories!" they corrected primly.
"A technical distinction after the fact," the old man waved it off. Whipping out the compact again he grinned, "So, you kids ready to rock and roll?" He cracked it open and flashed the mirror in their direction. Ranma, Fa Shen and Tofu all flinched and averted their eyes.
"Would you put that away?"
"If you not getting anything out of it, what are you in such a hurry for?"
"You are really, really not helping, Happosai."
"Hey, who said I'm not getting anything out of it! When was the last time I passed on having a pocket full of mischief? I'm doing my civic duty to corrupt the youth, I am standing up for the sexual revolution!"
"That was almost forty years ago, and it was on another continent to boot! It really is a wonder that no one's managed to kill you yet, Happosai," Tofu rolled his eyes.
Happosai looked up at the sky, "Young people today! They have no sense of humor!" He put the mirror away again and composed himself, "Look, I'm a crazy old goat, but I earned that the old fashioned way. When you reach my age you learn to appreciate secret plots and intrigue and do your part to keep things interesting. I'm the last person anyone can be expected to trust, which in turn makes me one of the best people to trust. You wanna do this thing, I'm there to help. Just because I think you should enjoy yourself to the fullest, get as much mileage out of it as you can, doesn't mean I'm not taking this seriously. You need to learn to bend the rules, kids! That's what makes the game interesting! Those fools, Genma and Soun, never could learn that lesson."
There were no coherent replies.
"Hell, you too, Dr. Tofu! You're a fine, upstanding, professional young man, but you're wound so tight your brains squirt out your ears the minute you lay eyes on a pretty skirt and you find yourself thinking unlawful things," the little troll accused. "I can see your problem, son, and let me tell you, that little problem with ethics you seem to have concerning one of your patients? Well, that problem could be solved by finding Kasumi another doctor, don't you think?"
There was no response from behind the doctor's suddenly frosted glasses. The moment he wandered away to "consult" with Betty-chan, the other three cleared the room as fast as possible.
"It's kind of a shame. He had himself under control almost the whole time he was at the dojo," Fa Shen commented, out on the sidewalk.
"What was that about 'ethics'?" Ranma asked Happosai.
"Oh. Some little bit of nonsense about how doctors should not treat members of their own family, or have too familiar thoughts about their patients. For such a bright lad, he does seem to have a Tendo shaped blind-spot."
"Oh…" the couple droned in bemusement.
"Still, it serves to illustrate the point, kids. If you get all worked up about 'doing the wrong thing' you can lose sight of what the right thing to do is. People are not bonsai trees, you know. It's not in their best interest to be pruned and stunted by years of pointless restriction. It's bad for anyone, but especially bad for a martial artist!" he lectured.
"You know, there are rare moments when you actually sound like a real sensei, Old Goat!" Ranma accused almost fondly. With a light chuckle, she began leading the way back to the Tendo Dojo. Her inner clock had announced it was time for breakfast, and that overruled all other thought.
Nodoka had eagerly thrown herself into making breakfast. The things she had learned the previous evening, and that morning, had shaken her deeply. What she had learned was enough to see that a wall of protection had been erected around her son by his friends and fiancées, all trying to defend him against the promise that the mother held over the son. On one hand, it spoke well for her son that the people who loved him would go to such lengths to preserve him, but that they felt it necessary said that there was something terribly wrong with him. It had been revealed that this curse, binding him to Ranko and Ranneko, was responsible for at least outwardly compromising his manhood. As far as that went, an external influence was not a factor in determining his manliness, as long as it was just that. She admitted, she might not have believed such a curse possible, and, if not for the effects she had witnessed in the twin girls, she would have been quick to dismiss it as foolishness. She found she believed in this curse, whatever it was, and since it seemed to have its impact on the minds of those affected, it truly concerned her. Not as much as the possibility that he should have been her daughter, however.
All through the meal, a scene of uncommon silence, she had toyed absently with her hair. Occasionally, she reached into her pocket and felt the bottle she now kept there. She had heard the amazons leaving and stopped Cologne to beg for the bottle. The old woman had been unwilling to give it at first, but Nodoka had insisted, hefting her bundled katana and declaring that, as a last resort, she would rather use the antidote as a final test of her son's manhood, if he did not measure up in all other respects. A living daughter was far preferable to a dead son, and Cologne had agreed.
Occasionally, she found her attention focused on Ranko. The girl ate her meal quietly and slowly, forced by her weakness to show an approximation of good manners for the first time in memory, without prompting from Nodoka herself. Whenever the girl glanced at Mousse, the amazon boy sitting next to Ryouga, she betrayed a troubled look of concern and annoyance. Her appraisal of Ryouga, the boy who supposedly had a crush on Ranko, there was more hesitation and uncertainty. A faint longing, suggested by the slightest of blushes. Oddly, she had a similar reaction to Akane, slightly better hidden because that girl was sitting attentively beside her and offering every assistance she could.
Nodoka wondered if she was catching a glimpse of the curse's effect, a hint of Ranma's feelings toward Akane projected through the red-haired girl. Nodoka suddenly ached to speak to her son, to hear from his own mouth what he was going through and how he felt. Closing her eyes, she silently prayed to the powers above to be granted her greatest wish. If only she could be reunited with him. If only all these troubling questions could be laid to rest.
As usual, there was no reply from the heavens, and soon enough Akane and Nabiki were gathering their things and preparing to leave for school. The two boys went out into the yard to spar and Ranko dragged herself to the engawa to watch. Soun lured Mr. Panda to the corner of the room and they started to play shogi—truly an amazing thing to watch, when she thought about it. With a heart felt sigh, Nodoka decided it was time to go home. She quietly excused herself, begging Kasumi to bid her farewells. With her family honor blade resting in the crook of her arm, she drifted to the genkan and slipped on her shoes. Just as she was about to open the shoji enclosing the main entrance to the house, it swept open to reveal Ranko's twin, a gnarled dwarf of a man she sensed she should recognize on sight, and a young man she had only seen in flashes or in dreams.
Fa Shen turned from making some comment to Ranma and found himself staring into Nodoka's eyes. However, the brilliant hue of the hair framing her face shook off all thoughts that might have come from Ranma, because there was only one person Fa Shen knew who looked like the woman before her. In a startled, heart wrenching voice, he breathed, "Mother…"
Nodoka gasped, catching that one word. "Ranma…"
Ranma gulped and shouted in artificial joy, "Auntie Saotome!" At the same time, she elbowed the boy next to her in the ribs, hard. Praying for all she was worth for him to realize who he was speaking to, she prattled on, "Why, are you going home so soon!?"
As intended, she drew Nodoka's attention to herself.
"Ran… Ranneko! You found my son! Oh, thank you! Thank you!" she reached out and grabbed the two teens and dragged them into the house. Bearing a grin to rival Death's unforgiving smile, Ranma knew that the deadly trap she had been dodging for months, in recently acquired hindsight, had finally closed its jaws on her. With a fearful glance, she studied Fa Shen, seeing the shock and understanding battle on his face as it became clear that he had not miraculously been reunited with his mother, and that he now had to convince Ranma's mother that he was her son, and a Man-Among-Men. A strong memory of how fast Ranma had been dressed in white, ceremonial roles and presented with the instrument of his demise, made it very clear how critical the next few moments were.
Nodoka was calling out to everyone, announcing "Ranma's" arrival. For one eternal moment, it was possible to hear the heart beat of the Earth through the silence, then there was a storm of feet rushing to converge on the Tea Room. As Ranma approached and helped Ranko take a seat at the table, she mouthed, "What is she still doing here?" Ranko pressed her lips into a tight white line to keep anything from coming out of her mouth as she faintly shook her head. Fa Shen was escorted to the table and seated by Nodoka, who kept his hand in an iron grip. Nodoka, pleased by what she could see up front, a strong, healthy, handsome young man, turned and hugged him as if he was he only link to life. Fa Shen, instantly identifying with the woman and her loss, returned the hug, opening his mind to the inherited memories. If at all possible, Fa Shen had to be Ranma, for as long as it took for Ranma to reclaim his rightful place. There was no alternative at this point.
Ranma, for her part, wanted to curl up and die. The reunion with her mother that she had craved for so long, the chance to prove herself a man, had been suddenly stripped away. It took all her willpower not to scream in denial, shout out the truth, and shove Fa Shen away from her mother. It did not leave enough to stop the tears that immediately spilled down her cheeks. Unable to achieve a similar release, Ranko looked up at Akane and Nabiki, both frozen where they had entered the room. Akane was tearing up and biting her lip, but Nabiki looked like someone had stabbed her in the gut. The mercenary middle sister turned to stare at Ranma and choked at the powerful emotions ripping over the former boy's face.
Releasing Fa Shen from the hug, but not letting go of him, she cried, "Oh, Ranma! I am so happy to see you at last! Where is your father!?"
Fa Shen's eyes flicked over to the panda, frozen in horror at the shogi table, and returned his gaze to Nodoka. "Uh, he… P-Pop i-is… p-pr-practicin' st-strategy a-and t-tactics," he stammered.
Nodoka was distracted by an unpleasant pressure on her chest. Looking down slowly, she met the large, dewy eyes of Happosai and shrieked. Automatically, Fa Shen grabbed him by the head and twisted him off of Nodoka's breast and slammed him down hard on the table. The old man's eyes bulged out from the impact, but he popped out of the boy's hand and dusted himself off casually.
"Good morning, Nodoka!" he grinned. "It has been some time, hasn't it?" He casually dodged a number of blows from Fa Shen, and a few thrown in by Ranma as well, and his smile widened. "That's a real fine boy you have there. The finest martial artist of his generation, I dare say. I honestly can't believe Genma managed it!"
"I thought you had been buried alive, Old Man," Nodoka grated dangerously, slipping her katana free of it's wrapping. She rose to her feet, about to unsheathe the sword, when the conversation with "Ranneko" in the bath the night before suddenly came back to her. To help Ranko, Ranma was forced to do something Nodoka could never forgive, something his manhood might not survive. Looking down at the infamous pervert, Nodoka gasped. She glanced at "Ranma" and "Ranneko" and realized they had arrived with her husband's ancient Master. "It's you, isn't it? You're the help Ranma needs to heal Ranko!?" she accused, drawing the blade and parking it's razor tip under Happosai's nose.
Happosai almost sliced himself, folding over and laughing with delight. "It's true! It is so true! Absolutely amazing, Nodoka! I just can't put one over on you, can I?"
"Oh, merciful heaven…" Only the fact that Genma had risen up against the hideous little troll and sealed him away in a cave had kept Nodoka from dissolving their marriage years ago. There were few things Nodoka hated as much as the despicable old pervert. That Ranma might be forced to indenture himself to the same warped man as Genma, to secure his aid, might indeed be an insult to his manhood Nodoka could not forgive. He had left her husband a mere shell of a man, a man who could abduct her only child and abandon his wife if she did not agree to his flimsy contract. A man she missed deeply. With a heart wrenching sob, she challenged, "Has my son accepted you as his sensei!?"
While Happosai grudgingly frowned and said "No" Ranma, Ranko and Fa Shen shouted an ear splitting "Absolutely not!"
Nodoka cringed back and studied the three. All three had bolted to their feet, standing rigid with fists clenched and faces in fury, holding identical poses, down to the tremor in their bodies, until Ranko collapsed from exhaustion. "Oh my. You three really are tied together, aren't you?" she asked in bewildered relief. Turning to "Ranma" she asked, "My son. Have you asked Happosai to help you heal Ranko?"
Fa Shen scratched his head and shrugged, "No. Ran… er, Ranneko and I explained what needed to be done to Dr. Tofu, and he kinda butted in and volunteered to help."
Nodoka relaxed a bit. Turning to Soun, she demanded, "Can you explain what he is doing here, Soun?"
"Ah, well, you see. H-he is my M-Master. When he e-escaped from his prison, he came back and… well… I can't make him go away!" Soun sobbed.
"Why, Soun! I am hurt! When I came back, my room was just as I had left it, aside from the dutiful maintenance of dear, sweet Kasumi!" he turned affectionate eyes on the eldest daughter and fluttered his eyelashes. Turning back, "I think that says something about the dutiful student. Quite a different story from the way I am treated in Saotome's home!"
"Should you dare to enter it again, I will fulfill my promise to you, Old Man! You are an evil, monstrous predator, and you taint all those you touch! You should know I cannot allow my son to fall under your sway!" she declared.
"Nodoka-chan… As always, you are overreacting."
"That my son rejects your personal authority speaks well of him. The heavens know it was you who brought my fiancé low, and then, as my husband, broke him. I know you, Happosai, and if he has the courage to thwart you, he is a better man than I had hoped."
Fa Shen gave an evil grin. "You mean you approve of me kickin' his ass!?" He rubbed his hands together and a strange aura began to fill the air. Happosai instantly stiffened in fear. He had sensed it only once before, but he knew damn well what that signaled.
"Uh, now, uh… 'Ranma'! There's no need for that!" he placated.
Seeing him squirm, Nodoka smiled. The old letch was actually afraid of her son. That was something to make a mother proud!
"Showoff," Ranma hissed at Fa Shen.
Happosai scowled. He did not care to see Nodoka butcher her family, but, this was an insult to his pride. In a low tone, he uttered a warning, "Fa Shen…" No need to be too obvious, he chuckled. That should be enough to make the boy toe the line.
Nodoka frowned. "Fa Shen…? Wha- Who is that?"
Ranma instantly jumped up, "Uh! Me! I am Fa Shen!"
Nodoka's frown evolved into a scowl. "Ranneko… this is no time for games," she warned, pushing the point.
"It's not a game." Ranma turned to Happosai, "You're not going to use the contract to manipulate us anymore. You wanna play that way? Fine. Let's play!"
"Oooohhh! Really!?" Happosai took on an evil grin. "So, maybe you want to explain to your mother what 'Ranma' has to do to heal Ranko? Hmmm?" he taunted. The room temperature plummeted as two people summoned the soul of ice. "Well, Ranma? Do you want to tell her? Or shall I?"
Nodoka stepped forward, "Her name is Ranneko. I know about the curse, so don't think you can confuse me!"
"Ah! So! But, I thought she was Fa Shen!" he played innocent and turned to the boy. "I guess that makes you Fa Shen, then doesn't it?" Fa Shen snarled and placed her hands together, gathering a ball of chi.
"Whoops, looks like I pissed her off! We can pick up this lovely chat again some other time, then!" he darted around the room, making for the open door, almost to freedom, when Ranko lurched into his path and collared him.
"You sick old man! You're worse than Pops! Stirrin' up trouble and then runnin' away! Not this time!"
Still, Nodoka knew how he worked. He caused so much trouble, because he always knew how to twist the truth. His threats always had something substantial behind them. "Ranma?" she was afraid to ask, but better to hear it from him. "What do you have to do to heal Ranko?"
Happosai, twisted out of Ranko's grasp, and with a touch, dropped her to the floor. Hopping onto her belly and taking up a fighting pose, he shouted gleefully, "Come on, 'Ranma'," he winked at the real Ranma, "tell Mother! She would want to know who her 'little BOY' is sleeping with, yes!?"
"That does it!" a general shout, as this taunting finally became insulting. As one, the fighters in the room surged forward. As one, they suddenly realized who would take the punishment if they missed Happosai. Ranko was laying helpless beneath his feet.
"Heh. Last chance to apologize, Ranma!"
"Hey, Happosai!" Ranma shouted.
"Yes, my sweet?"
"Don't forget our promise. You go down, you die!"
"Ah, life's no fun if you play it safe!" he proceeded to laugh like he was having the time of his life. "Go on, Nodoka! Ask your 'son' what 'he' needs to do. What 'he' WANTS to do!"
Nodoka shook with anger at being played. She looked at her son, pleading silently, wondering what lay behind the cold mask that hid his emotions. Fa Shen risked a glance at Ranma. Ranma, standing behind Nodoka, sighed and gave a slight nod. Fa Shen stiffened and opened his mouth to speak.
"Ranma has to sleep with Fa Shen," Mousse suddenly interrupted. "It's the only way to generate ki for Ranko. It's the only way to heal the damage, now that the curse is broken."
Happosai sagged. "Now, why did you have to put it like that?" he complained, jumping off of Ranko and getting in the blind martial-artist's face. "You took all the fun out of it! No wonder Cologne doesn't like you! You're a spoil sport!" he poked the boy in the chest three times. The third time, he stuffed one of his trademark bombs inside Mousse's robes and bounded away. The explosion caused the boy's robes to puff out like a tent and billow as smoke and wind poured violently out through the openings. Mousse was rocked and blackened by the blast, but remained on his feet.
Nodoka, having recovered her voice by this point, blinked and begged, "I'm sorry. Who is Fa Shen, again?"
As Ranma raised her hand, everyone else pointed feverishly at her. "Me. I am," she said. Happosai bounded around to behind Fa Shen, and cupping his mouth conspiratorially mouthed "him" and pointed at the boy accusatively. Ranma glared and went on, "Ranneko is just something we came up with on the spot last night, since they didn't know who I was." She punctuated this with a meaningful look at the others. "Anyway… I am the reason that, um… Ranko and Ranma were cursed. Aheh, I guess you could say, I am the curse," which, if she had been Fa Shen, was quite true. At the very least, she was laying the ground work to tell the complete truth, once she and Fa Shen were cursed back to normal. There was a relieved sigh from the crowd, as they realized how Ranma had put the cat back in the bag. Truly, she was the last person anyone would expect to be able to do that!
From the ground came the plaintive voice of Ranko, "Uh, guys? Since the old goat isn't standing on top of me at the moment, could you PLEASE go kill him now?" With that, she gave into the shock of what she had just learned. She could not believe Ranma and Fa Shen were willing to do THAT just to help her heal. Imagining how that knowledge could have been used against Ranma, she shuddered and covered her face. She did not bother to think much after that, because the sounds of battle suddenly filled the room.