CYD Part 4
"So now that you have seen the two futures, tell me which one shall you choose, because I do not have all the time in the world." The Angel asked as they appeared in the Manor. He let go of Phoebe's hand as she stumbled back against the table, gripping it tightly for support. The pictures of what was to come were still raw in her mind and sent her vomiting in the sink. Her legs gave out as she began to cry harder than ever and sank against the kitchen floor. How could everything go so wrong? How could her family be torn apart like that? Just by one decision? She would lose everything. No wonder she became so heartless when she was older. Pain and anguish were replaced by anger and rage as she whirled around in a cold sweat and the Angel. "Who the hell are you to ask me that? Huh, who are you? How dare you come in here and ruin my life like this, show me things more horrifying than anything than expect me to change my life in a beat?" Phoebe became hostile as she thought about what this man was asking her to do, again. "Get out." She said, her voice dead. "I think we should talk about this before you make a mistake. I can give you whichever life you want Phoebe. I can give you those children, I can give you that life, or I can give you the world to yourself, like the other destiny. There would be no one to tie you down, no worries, no responsibilities. It would be you on your own again. Tell me which one you want Phoebe, I can give it to you." The Angel said calmly, approaching her with an open hand. "Did you hear me? I said get out." Phoebe said viciously as she swung at the Angel with her fist at full force. "Get out and get out now. Don't come back if you know what is good for you." The Angel disappeared, leaving Phoebe to herself. She began to cry again, but stopped. Her sisters would be home soon, and remembering what terms she had left on this morning, Phoebe did not want them seeing her like this. They did not deserve to see her cry. She walked upstairs to take a shower, hoping the soap and warm water would make her feel better. She stood in the shower for what seemed like eternity, wondering what she was going to do. She wanted the first destiny, her heart knew it, but as the Angel had said, he mind was telling her something different. Cole was a demon, he had demonic powers, he was evil again. No matter what, she could not go back to him knowing there was a chance of her becoming evil again. It had been too close last time, she could not put her sisters in such danger again, even if she hated them for their ignorance. The hot water from the shower scorched her body, turning her skin red, but she did not care, she did not even notice. Phoebe turned towards the water, allowing the hot water to mix with her cold tears. Strange how in this place two things from different sides of the universe, hot and cold, could mix and be together in this one moment, sending soothing emotions through her. How had she gotten past her fear of being evil? How had she trusted Cole again? Had she taken this very shower in that universe, and come to the realization that she had to trust her mind but live her heart's desires to be truly happy? Phoebe suddenly felt completely calm as she made up her mind once and for all. It was going to take time, a lot of effort, and heartbreaks galore, but she was determined to live out the life she wanted, the one she had dreamed about forever. She and Cole would have that family, they would have those children, that life, if it was the last thing she did. She stepped out of the shower and, wrapping herself in a towel, went into her room to pick out her nicest outfit, something she had not done since she lost the baby, and did her hair up nicely, taking special care to do her makeup and nails. She went outside and took Piper's car, driving to her office. After telling Elise she would be back within 3 days, Phoebe drove to Cole's office, hoping and yet fearing he would be there. "Is Cole Turner in?" she asked the receptionist at the front desk. "Yes he is. I am sorry, he is in a meeting though now, but I can ring you up quickly if it is an emergency. Who should I say is here?" the receptionist asked as she picked up the phone and went to touch the button. Phoebe grabbed her hand quickly out of fear and reaction. "No, no emergency." Phoebe said shakily as she released the shocked receptionist's hand. "I will just wait. Thank you." She said as she walked towards the elevator, then down the hall, in the waiting room, sitting there, wringing paper in her hand, twisting it tightly until she saw a group of men walk out of the office towards the waiting room followed by. Cole. His name made her melt as she imagined their future life, as she imagined their children all over again. "He can't see me." She thought, raising the magazine next to her in front of her face. Cole saw out his guests, then walked towards his office. "I am taking a break for awhile, do not let anyone in." he told the secretary as he disappeared into his office. After waiting a good half hour, Phoebe got hold of her nerves and walked towards his door. "Excuse me Miss, you cannot go in there. Mr. Turner is not seeing anyone right now. I am sorry, you will have to wait." The secretary tried to stop her, but Phoebe brushed past her, not even acknowledging her words. Her hand grasped the door handle as she took a breath and opened the door, not knowing what to expect. The doorway revealed Cole sitting at his desk, eating lunch and reviewing papers and files. He looked fine without her, he looked as if their separation and failed marriage and lost child did not bother him one bit. He did not even look up to see who was at the door as he said "I am taking a break, you will have to wait, I have to eat," while keeping his eyes fastened on the documents before him. Phoebe did not know what to say or do, so she just stood there with her mouth partially opened, her hand never leaving the handle. "I said I'm." Cole began as he frustratedly stood up from his desk and finally looked up, only to see his ex-wife standing there, looking more beautiful than ever, with an expression worth a million emotions on her face. She was determined, he saw that, and hopeful, but she was also scared, fearful of rejection and loss. "Phoebe." He breathed her name, those two syllables catching them both off guard. "Yea. Hi. Sorry to barge in, it is just." Phoebe mindlessly began, wavering her hand towards the secretary. "It is alright, I understand. W-What are you doing here?" he asked, running a hand through his hair. "I, I just, uh." Phoebe was at a loss for words. She had rehearsed a speech for him in the car, telling him everything she had been going through, everything she felt, everything she had seen, everything she knew. Now that she was face to face with him, she had no clue what to do, let alone say. 'I just came to say hi, I guess. Yea, hi." "Hi" He said back, not knowing what to do either. "How are things?" "Fine, yea, just fine. Piper's pregnant." She returned. "Really? Wow, I guess it is about time." he trailed off, mentally hitting his head for saying something so mean. "Yea, I guess so. How are things with you?" She asked, fearing he had gone evil. "Good, I guess. I got rid of the evil in me. I still have powers, but I am neutral now." Cole paused. "Wow, yea, great, that is good." there was an awkward pause, followed by more silence. "Ok, well I better get going. I kinda left the manor this morning and have hell to deal with, meaning Piper and Paige." she trailed off. "Good luck." Phoebe began to walk out the door. "And Phoebe." Cole called her name, causing her to look back, something she promised herself she would not do if things did not work as they should have. Yet, she could not help herself. "It was nice to see you." "Yea, you too." She answered, pausing to look at him one last time, and walked out the door. As she approached the secretary's desk, she took one of his business cards, just because her hand took a hold over her. She drove back in silence, the tears threatening to take over, but never making it. She would not allow herself to cry. When she got home, she closed the door and put the keys back. She went to walk up the stairs, but was stopped by Piper. "Phoebe, get down here." She called " Right now" Phoebe took a breath, then headed down towards what she knew would be not such a nice confrontation. Indeed, when she walked into the kitchen, she was face to face with a very pissed off Paige and a very hormonal Piper. "Where the hell have you been? What the hell were you thinking? Why the hell did you take my car? And who the hell are you to yell at us like that?" the barrage of questions from Piper was like a rush of pain back to Phoebe. At least the uncomfortable silence with Cole had made her feel almost content, knowing they were on the same level, but here her sister's had the advantage over her, magically, physically, and emotionally. "I was just out. The Angel was here; you saw that. And what the hell do you mean I have no right to yell at you? What about you thinking you know what I am thinking and answering for me? Living my life? God, sometimes you piss me off so much Piper I wish you would die." Phoebe retorted, throwing caution out the window. "How dare you? How dare you, you insolent little bitch?" Piper threw back at Phoebe. "God, I am so sick of you, moping around, running off with demonic bastards. Grow up Phoebe. Stop thinking about yourself and get a life." Phoebe turned to leave, but Piper froze the door, causing Phoebe to spin around. "Me get a life? How about the two of you? Going on with your lives as if nothing has happened. Tell me Piper, if you lost Leo and your baby, would you feel happy? Would you not think Paige and I would notice if you were so depressed you thought about killing yourself every night? You two ignored me and everything I was going through, only focusing on your job and baby. Well I am sorry, but I cannot pretend I am happy anymore here. I am sick of you two and your ignorance." Phoebe fought back in tears, wishing she were back in Cole's arms, wishing she were anywhere but here. "Our ignorance? C'mon Phoebe. You are such a little hypocrite. You refuse to see that your husband is evil, then you turn evil and almost kill us, all because of what you want, you selfish little bitch. You pretended not to see what Cole was doing, and it almost cost us our lives, all so you were happy. Do not even talk about ignorance you self centered whore." Paige spat at Phoebe with such hate in her voice, causing Phoebe to cry. She orbed a mug at Phoebe, which Phoebe levitated to avoid. Piper blew up the door, and Phoebe flew across the room, missing the couch barely as Paige orbed it away. She smashed against the wall and laid still for a moment, then stood up calmly in tears, her heart void of all emotion. Paige gripped her hands in fists and held herself back, sitting in the couch as Piper started thinking. "Wait, does anyone else see what is going on here? It is Andras, the demon, you know Pheebs the one who turns little things into anger. Remember?" Piper started. "No." Paige answered mockingly. "Well we did not know about you then. It was with Prue. He turned our little angers into blind hate and we used our powers against each other, losing them. It is him, Phoebe, see." Piper acknowledged her sister. "No." Phoebe stated in a dead tone. "No Piper, we vanquished him. This is the truth, the brutally honest truth." And with that Phoebe walked out the door in tears, not knowing where to go. "Good riddance." Paige said, leaving the room, leaving Piper to her thoughts alone. Phoebe walked forever. She had nowhere to go, no one who cared. It was cold at night, and Phoebe had left the car keys and her coat at home when she rushed out. Now she was money less in the city, without food or shelter. She had no idea what she was going to do, where she would go. All she knew is she had to get out of there. She sat down on a bench and looked up at the stars. Was this how she had come to live in the one destiny? How she became a lonely old woman? Maybe everything she knew was wrong, maybe this was a trick, maybe she had lost her opportunity to live that other destiny she yearned for so much. Phoebe looked around trying to find a place to stay when her eyes came across a large building she had been to recently. It was Cole's office. She reached into the pocket in her skirt, only to find the business card of his. She took out her cell phone and called the operator, getting his address. She walked for another hour or so when she finally reached his house. He had moved out of the penthouse, but she did not know why. She looked at her watch, realizing it was late, but she could not see the time correctly cause she had been crying. Phoebe walked to the door, took a breath, and knocked, hoping Cole would be home, and at the same time hoping he would not. De ja vou hit her as she remembered last time she and her sisters got into a fight. It had been late then to, but Cole had taken her in just the same. As she heard footsteps approach the door, she held her breath and contemplated leaving. She turned to leave, but stopped when she heard the door open. "Phoebe. Is that you?" Cole asked, flipping on the light in the front. Slowly she turned around, for some reason ashamed of letting him see her like this. "Yea." She said slowly. "Yea it is me." "Phoebe, what are you doing here?" He asked, stepping out on the porch. "Uh, I don't know. I was just walking around and I'm sorry I know it's really late. Can I come in?" Phoebe asked quietly. "Yeah. Sure." Cole answered, guiding her in his house and shutting the door.
"So now that you have seen the two futures, tell me which one shall you choose, because I do not have all the time in the world." The Angel asked as they appeared in the Manor. He let go of Phoebe's hand as she stumbled back against the table, gripping it tightly for support. The pictures of what was to come were still raw in her mind and sent her vomiting in the sink. Her legs gave out as she began to cry harder than ever and sank against the kitchen floor. How could everything go so wrong? How could her family be torn apart like that? Just by one decision? She would lose everything. No wonder she became so heartless when she was older. Pain and anguish were replaced by anger and rage as she whirled around in a cold sweat and the Angel. "Who the hell are you to ask me that? Huh, who are you? How dare you come in here and ruin my life like this, show me things more horrifying than anything than expect me to change my life in a beat?" Phoebe became hostile as she thought about what this man was asking her to do, again. "Get out." She said, her voice dead. "I think we should talk about this before you make a mistake. I can give you whichever life you want Phoebe. I can give you those children, I can give you that life, or I can give you the world to yourself, like the other destiny. There would be no one to tie you down, no worries, no responsibilities. It would be you on your own again. Tell me which one you want Phoebe, I can give it to you." The Angel said calmly, approaching her with an open hand. "Did you hear me? I said get out." Phoebe said viciously as she swung at the Angel with her fist at full force. "Get out and get out now. Don't come back if you know what is good for you." The Angel disappeared, leaving Phoebe to herself. She began to cry again, but stopped. Her sisters would be home soon, and remembering what terms she had left on this morning, Phoebe did not want them seeing her like this. They did not deserve to see her cry. She walked upstairs to take a shower, hoping the soap and warm water would make her feel better. She stood in the shower for what seemed like eternity, wondering what she was going to do. She wanted the first destiny, her heart knew it, but as the Angel had said, he mind was telling her something different. Cole was a demon, he had demonic powers, he was evil again. No matter what, she could not go back to him knowing there was a chance of her becoming evil again. It had been too close last time, she could not put her sisters in such danger again, even if she hated them for their ignorance. The hot water from the shower scorched her body, turning her skin red, but she did not care, she did not even notice. Phoebe turned towards the water, allowing the hot water to mix with her cold tears. Strange how in this place two things from different sides of the universe, hot and cold, could mix and be together in this one moment, sending soothing emotions through her. How had she gotten past her fear of being evil? How had she trusted Cole again? Had she taken this very shower in that universe, and come to the realization that she had to trust her mind but live her heart's desires to be truly happy? Phoebe suddenly felt completely calm as she made up her mind once and for all. It was going to take time, a lot of effort, and heartbreaks galore, but she was determined to live out the life she wanted, the one she had dreamed about forever. She and Cole would have that family, they would have those children, that life, if it was the last thing she did. She stepped out of the shower and, wrapping herself in a towel, went into her room to pick out her nicest outfit, something she had not done since she lost the baby, and did her hair up nicely, taking special care to do her makeup and nails. She went outside and took Piper's car, driving to her office. After telling Elise she would be back within 3 days, Phoebe drove to Cole's office, hoping and yet fearing he would be there. "Is Cole Turner in?" she asked the receptionist at the front desk. "Yes he is. I am sorry, he is in a meeting though now, but I can ring you up quickly if it is an emergency. Who should I say is here?" the receptionist asked as she picked up the phone and went to touch the button. Phoebe grabbed her hand quickly out of fear and reaction. "No, no emergency." Phoebe said shakily as she released the shocked receptionist's hand. "I will just wait. Thank you." She said as she walked towards the elevator, then down the hall, in the waiting room, sitting there, wringing paper in her hand, twisting it tightly until she saw a group of men walk out of the office towards the waiting room followed by. Cole. His name made her melt as she imagined their future life, as she imagined their children all over again. "He can't see me." She thought, raising the magazine next to her in front of her face. Cole saw out his guests, then walked towards his office. "I am taking a break for awhile, do not let anyone in." he told the secretary as he disappeared into his office. After waiting a good half hour, Phoebe got hold of her nerves and walked towards his door. "Excuse me Miss, you cannot go in there. Mr. Turner is not seeing anyone right now. I am sorry, you will have to wait." The secretary tried to stop her, but Phoebe brushed past her, not even acknowledging her words. Her hand grasped the door handle as she took a breath and opened the door, not knowing what to expect. The doorway revealed Cole sitting at his desk, eating lunch and reviewing papers and files. He looked fine without her, he looked as if their separation and failed marriage and lost child did not bother him one bit. He did not even look up to see who was at the door as he said "I am taking a break, you will have to wait, I have to eat," while keeping his eyes fastened on the documents before him. Phoebe did not know what to say or do, so she just stood there with her mouth partially opened, her hand never leaving the handle. "I said I'm." Cole began as he frustratedly stood up from his desk and finally looked up, only to see his ex-wife standing there, looking more beautiful than ever, with an expression worth a million emotions on her face. She was determined, he saw that, and hopeful, but she was also scared, fearful of rejection and loss. "Phoebe." He breathed her name, those two syllables catching them both off guard. "Yea. Hi. Sorry to barge in, it is just." Phoebe mindlessly began, wavering her hand towards the secretary. "It is alright, I understand. W-What are you doing here?" he asked, running a hand through his hair. "I, I just, uh." Phoebe was at a loss for words. She had rehearsed a speech for him in the car, telling him everything she had been going through, everything she felt, everything she had seen, everything she knew. Now that she was face to face with him, she had no clue what to do, let alone say. 'I just came to say hi, I guess. Yea, hi." "Hi" He said back, not knowing what to do either. "How are things?" "Fine, yea, just fine. Piper's pregnant." She returned. "Really? Wow, I guess it is about time." he trailed off, mentally hitting his head for saying something so mean. "Yea, I guess so. How are things with you?" She asked, fearing he had gone evil. "Good, I guess. I got rid of the evil in me. I still have powers, but I am neutral now." Cole paused. "Wow, yea, great, that is good." there was an awkward pause, followed by more silence. "Ok, well I better get going. I kinda left the manor this morning and have hell to deal with, meaning Piper and Paige." she trailed off. "Good luck." Phoebe began to walk out the door. "And Phoebe." Cole called her name, causing her to look back, something she promised herself she would not do if things did not work as they should have. Yet, she could not help herself. "It was nice to see you." "Yea, you too." She answered, pausing to look at him one last time, and walked out the door. As she approached the secretary's desk, she took one of his business cards, just because her hand took a hold over her. She drove back in silence, the tears threatening to take over, but never making it. She would not allow herself to cry. When she got home, she closed the door and put the keys back. She went to walk up the stairs, but was stopped by Piper. "Phoebe, get down here." She called " Right now" Phoebe took a breath, then headed down towards what she knew would be not such a nice confrontation. Indeed, when she walked into the kitchen, she was face to face with a very pissed off Paige and a very hormonal Piper. "Where the hell have you been? What the hell were you thinking? Why the hell did you take my car? And who the hell are you to yell at us like that?" the barrage of questions from Piper was like a rush of pain back to Phoebe. At least the uncomfortable silence with Cole had made her feel almost content, knowing they were on the same level, but here her sister's had the advantage over her, magically, physically, and emotionally. "I was just out. The Angel was here; you saw that. And what the hell do you mean I have no right to yell at you? What about you thinking you know what I am thinking and answering for me? Living my life? God, sometimes you piss me off so much Piper I wish you would die." Phoebe retorted, throwing caution out the window. "How dare you? How dare you, you insolent little bitch?" Piper threw back at Phoebe. "God, I am so sick of you, moping around, running off with demonic bastards. Grow up Phoebe. Stop thinking about yourself and get a life." Phoebe turned to leave, but Piper froze the door, causing Phoebe to spin around. "Me get a life? How about the two of you? Going on with your lives as if nothing has happened. Tell me Piper, if you lost Leo and your baby, would you feel happy? Would you not think Paige and I would notice if you were so depressed you thought about killing yourself every night? You two ignored me and everything I was going through, only focusing on your job and baby. Well I am sorry, but I cannot pretend I am happy anymore here. I am sick of you two and your ignorance." Phoebe fought back in tears, wishing she were back in Cole's arms, wishing she were anywhere but here. "Our ignorance? C'mon Phoebe. You are such a little hypocrite. You refuse to see that your husband is evil, then you turn evil and almost kill us, all because of what you want, you selfish little bitch. You pretended not to see what Cole was doing, and it almost cost us our lives, all so you were happy. Do not even talk about ignorance you self centered whore." Paige spat at Phoebe with such hate in her voice, causing Phoebe to cry. She orbed a mug at Phoebe, which Phoebe levitated to avoid. Piper blew up the door, and Phoebe flew across the room, missing the couch barely as Paige orbed it away. She smashed against the wall and laid still for a moment, then stood up calmly in tears, her heart void of all emotion. Paige gripped her hands in fists and held herself back, sitting in the couch as Piper started thinking. "Wait, does anyone else see what is going on here? It is Andras, the demon, you know Pheebs the one who turns little things into anger. Remember?" Piper started. "No." Paige answered mockingly. "Well we did not know about you then. It was with Prue. He turned our little angers into blind hate and we used our powers against each other, losing them. It is him, Phoebe, see." Piper acknowledged her sister. "No." Phoebe stated in a dead tone. "No Piper, we vanquished him. This is the truth, the brutally honest truth." And with that Phoebe walked out the door in tears, not knowing where to go. "Good riddance." Paige said, leaving the room, leaving Piper to her thoughts alone. Phoebe walked forever. She had nowhere to go, no one who cared. It was cold at night, and Phoebe had left the car keys and her coat at home when she rushed out. Now she was money less in the city, without food or shelter. She had no idea what she was going to do, where she would go. All she knew is she had to get out of there. She sat down on a bench and looked up at the stars. Was this how she had come to live in the one destiny? How she became a lonely old woman? Maybe everything she knew was wrong, maybe this was a trick, maybe she had lost her opportunity to live that other destiny she yearned for so much. Phoebe looked around trying to find a place to stay when her eyes came across a large building she had been to recently. It was Cole's office. She reached into the pocket in her skirt, only to find the business card of his. She took out her cell phone and called the operator, getting his address. She walked for another hour or so when she finally reached his house. He had moved out of the penthouse, but she did not know why. She looked at her watch, realizing it was late, but she could not see the time correctly cause she had been crying. Phoebe walked to the door, took a breath, and knocked, hoping Cole would be home, and at the same time hoping he would not. De ja vou hit her as she remembered last time she and her sisters got into a fight. It had been late then to, but Cole had taken her in just the same. As she heard footsteps approach the door, she held her breath and contemplated leaving. She turned to leave, but stopped when she heard the door open. "Phoebe. Is that you?" Cole asked, flipping on the light in the front. Slowly she turned around, for some reason ashamed of letting him see her like this. "Yea." She said slowly. "Yea it is me." "Phoebe, what are you doing here?" He asked, stepping out on the porch. "Uh, I don't know. I was just walking around and I'm sorry I know it's really late. Can I come in?" Phoebe asked quietly. "Yeah. Sure." Cole answered, guiding her in his house and shutting the door.