True Evil Never Looked This Cute

"Well the age of miracles is not yet past it seems. I finally managed to finish my book!"

Hank removed his reading spectacles and placed them and the book neatly on the chair arm. Then he just leaned back in his chair, pillowed his arms behind his head and let out a contented sigh. Hopefully with Wolverine here Jubilee would be harassing him instead and Bobby would probably not be getting up to any more pranks that day. The only other X-Men present in the mansion were actually capable of reasonably adult behavior most of the time. He actually felt truly happy for the first time that day, so happy in fact he felt like singing.

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and gay. And I pity any Beast that isn't me today,"

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"I wonder why Bobby always seems to think it hilarious when I sing that song."

Not wanting to bother with this knotty problem he simply decided to shut his eyes and get some well earned rest. Unfortunately just a few minutes later his rest was disturbed by the creak of the door handle being turned. Hank's furry ears twitched but he remained snoozing. Heavy footsteps stomped across the floor and Hank's ears twitched again but he still remained sleeping. It was only when he heard the low growl that he finally awoke. Blinking Hank failed to recognize Logan at first since the feral was rather more hirsute than usual.

"This is all yer fault Beast fer letting Jubilee keep that little fur-ball. Just ya take a look at what the fuzzy freak did ta me. I look like a freaking werewolf!" snarled Logan.

"Actually my dear Logan you look halfway handsome now and you'll find women tend to like the fur. A rather nice shade of sable it is too and very luxuriant and glossy."

"What I want ta know Beastie boy is what ya intend ta do about it," Logan's voice was ominously calm and his hazel eyes had narrowed menacingly.

"Well I suppose you could try waxing or just have an all over body shave. I do have a good depilatory cream I created which we could try. Alternatively we can wait and see if this is a temporary phenomenon."

That hadn't been the answer Logan wanted to hear. With Hank seemingly unsympathetic to his trauma he found the anger rising within him. When Hank yawned and began to shut his eyes again Logan's delicate temper frayed and he finally snapped. Growling Logan popped out his claws and leapt at Hank.

"Stars and garters, I resent this unwarranted and brutish display of aggression towards my ever-effervescent bodacious self!"

Hank leapt off the chair just as Logan landed on it. Clinging to the ceiling with his claws Hank prepared to leap across the room and escape through the open door. Sadly Logan seemed out for blood and it was extremely unlikely he'd allow Hank to escape now. With another savage snarl Logan slashed out with his claws driving them towards Hank's face. Hank twisted his head away and instead of slicing flesh the claws sliced fur. Thanks to the adamantium claws Hank now had a rather nice military style crew-cut although the loss of one sideburn was rather unfortunate.

"Time fer a good shave Hank and these claws make excellent razors. Soon yer going ta be the bolding blue beast," Logan grinned fiercely and gave Hank a menacing chuckle.

"You diminutive, psychotic, testosterone-overdosed, hirsute malingerer, I'm going to have to get rather beastly on you now!"

Hank's lips curled back revealing sharp white fangs as he gave a snarl of his own. All he'd wanted was to be left in peace and he could do without feral's deciding to use him as a scratching post. With a feral roar Hank leapt on top of Logan and soon the two were rolling on the floor grappling with each other. While Logan may have had the edge in ferocity, Hank's superior speed and strength more than made up for this.

It was a few minutes later and they were still locked in a stalemate although most of the furniture had been smashed. Jubilee had just been passing by as she was looking for Mack who'd disappeared again. She'd roped in Bobby and Kurt to help her but so far they'd had little success. On hearing the growls and crashes coming from inside the lounge she was naturally curious. Opening the door she gave a gasp of horror at seeing Hank apparently locked in mortal combat with a rather short werewolf. She gave a further gasp as she recognized the werewolf as Logan with a rather nice coat of black fur.

"Unglaublich, we must stop them before they kill each other Jubilee. We can't just stand by while our friends are fighting each other."

"Yeah elf but you know how strong Hank is and well Logan's in a frenzy and he won't be afraid to use his claws. If we get caught in the middle we'll be crushed or shredded. Man, I've already got on Hank's bad side already today,"

Jubilee simply gave one of her wicked smiles and beckoned them closer. Putting an arm around their shoulders she drew them close.

"Don't worry guys I've got the perfect plan."

She whispered in their ears and both men nodded. The plan might just work. Kurt quickly teleported into the room and Bobby iced up and formed his ice slide. Jubilee wafted away the stench of sulfur and brimstone and when she'd finally stopped shivering she too charged into the room.

Mojoverse

"There'th no need to worry now Apocalythe, I've managed to repair the portal devithe. Now we can thend our generically, darn I mean genetically thuperior fortheth through into the new dimenthion and retrieve Dark Beathtie and Wolvie."

Thinithter's beady red eyes glowed brightly in his pallid face as he bowed deeply to his master. He'd have the opportunity to show he was a whole lot smarter than his furrier rival and he'd conquer this new world for his master.

"Exthellent Thinithter, thith pweases me gweatly and I will lend you the rest of the AoA X-Babies. Go through the portal and don't thtop until you wetwieve our missing pair and destwoy the world for me. Don't fail me or you go in the naughty cupboard."

The screen went blank and Thinithter stood up. As he did he cursed silently noticing his cape was askew. Now he'd have to take it off, readjust it and then put it back on. The only trouble was he always had a hell of a job figuring out how to remove it. Reaching awkwardly he managed to trip over the end of the cape and crash heavily onto his posterior.

"Oh darn," spat Thinithter.

Unnoticed by him a pair of X-Babies chose that moment to sneak past him and activate the portal device. Soon the terror of X-Babies Sparkla and Popsicle would be released upon the unsuspecting X-Men. If anything they could come up with even more devious and downright despicable pranks than their counterparts.

Back at the mansion

Jubilee's plan had worked to perfection; Kurt had managed to teleport behind the pair while Bobby sent in a wave of snow to cool them off. Then while they were distracted they could manage to subdue them until they finally calmed down long enough for the problem to be sorted out. Since all three of them together were no match physically for either of the pair let alone both they'd needed another method. Jubilee's solution was rather simple.

Hank was flat on his back roaring with helpless laughter, fists pounding the floor. Despite his thrashing and frantic struggles he couldn't escape. Kurt was presently perched on his chest and using one talent few knew about but those that did greatly feared. He was a devilish tickler and his three fingered hands were presently digging into his ribs while his tail worked its way into a sensitive spot under Hank's armpit. Bobby meanwhile had repeated his earlier trick with the ice-cubes once he'd ensured Logan was safely subdued. Hank's laughter became a full blown howl as Kurt's tail moved onto his bare feet.

"You know Wolvie; this fur is lovely and soft. It looks good on you, makes you look rather handsome. Did you know that Hank likes it if you just stroke his arm gently? Look would you like me to show you?"

Jubilee gently rubbed the new black fur on Logan's forearm and the feral shut his eyes contentedly. Jubilee smiled knowing that with his superior tactile sense it would be even more effective on him than it was with Hank. Slowly Logan's head fell to his chest and he began to snooze contentedly.

"Do you surrender Herr McCoy?"

Then he was yelping in pain as a furry blue hand grabbed hold of his tail and swinging him round flung him half way across the room. Growling Hank gave the furry blue elf such a ferocious glare that Kurt quickly bamfed away in another puff of sulfur and brimstone. Bobby meanwhile was falling to his knees as a very angry Hank advanced upon him.

"Hey buddy it was only a spot of tickling, Jubilee thought you were upset so we needed to lighten the mood. You're not going to throw me in the lake are you? Hey what are you, please no!"

Too late as he was grabbed by the scruff of the neck and Hank was snarling at him revealing long sharp fangs. Bobby gulped as the claws descended and wondered just how many weeks he'd need in hospital. Then he was laughing hysterically as Beast began tickling him.

"As you reap so shall you sow Robert Drake? As for Kurt, I may have dislocated his tail but I shall of course apologize to him later. That's if he ever dares to show his face to me again. What's this? No need to beg for mercy just yet Bobby. The piece of slate and my claws is still to come!"

"Alright people would you care to explain to me just what is going on?"

Scott stood hands on hips in the doorway with his best 'stern leader' expression. Before anyone could come up with even a flimsy excuse they were rescued by the arrival of Bishop with a frantically struggling diminutive furry gray X-Baby tucked under his arm.

"OK who does this Mini-me version of Beast belong to? I caught the furry freak in my room playing with one of my guns. I had a hell of a job trying to catch him; he was bouncing all over the place. Strong little critter too, nearly sent me flying a time or two. Anyway does anybody claim him or do I have your permission Scott to shoot the little freak?"

"Jubilation Lee, I'm sure this is your doing," Scott was staring straight at her.

"Put me down you utter ignoramus," snarled Mack before sinking his fangs into Bishop's wrist.

With a yelp of pain Bishop dropped the X-Baby who ran and hid behind Jubilee.

"I'm still waiting for an explanation," said Scott in his sternest tones.

Mansion grounds

Remy LeBeau couldn't quite believe his eyes when the portal popped open in front of him and six small beings emerged. One of them was all too familiar as he stepped up to him. The pale white skin, burning red eyes, a purple costume and a strange cape albeit slightly askew meant it could only be Sinister. Not the Nathaniel Essex that Remy knew of course since this one was rather smaller and spoke with a lisp.

"I am Mithter Thinithter, I command the Horthkidth of Apocalythe and you are doomed pretty boy! Allow me to introduthe my forthes."

"Oui mon ami, knock yourself out."

"I already did that thilly when I tripped over my cloak. Oh never mind I'll introduthe you to X-Tra Thpecial firtht. He'th really thpecial, the motht powerful X-Baby ever. I thould know, cauthe I'm the one who created him. Say hello Nate."

X-Tra Special hovered in front of Remy and gave him a slight bow. He was wearing a leather jacket and had a white streak in his hair.

"Now the four Horthekidth. Firth we have Thughar Kid, he'th Famine since he's always hungry."

A grotesque creature with four arms, horns and a huge gaping mouth with an enormously elongated tongue gave him a wave. Then Sugar Kid returned to shoveling various junk foods into his mouth.

"Here ith Thaggletooth. He's Death, because he's really tough, fierce and mean."

A growling blonde X-Baby leapt at Remy with claws and fangs extended. Remy reached out snagged him by the ponytail and set him down on the ground again.

"Remy think dat you lot cuter dan de Creed dat he knows garcon."

Snaggletooth merely blinked amber eyes at him and growled under his breath.

"Ith we can get back to the thubject in hand I will introduthe War. Thith ith Tantrum and he'th very, very dangerouth. He'th got enough energy to blow up a whole thity or maybe even a world."

A skeletal figure within an orange power suit fired a crackling energy bolt at a nearby tree setting it ablaze.

"Latht and motht definitely leatht we have Morph. He'th Pethtilenthe becauthe he'th thuch a petht and he can change into anything,"

Morph shifted form to an exact duplicate of Rogue and advanced upon Remy with puckered lips. He hastily retreated back a few steps and Morph shifted to normal form amidst a fit of giggles.

"Are you frightened Gambit?" asked Thinithter red eyes glinting menacingly.

Remy simply slapped his thigh and chuckled.

"Non mon ami, Remy think dat de only danger is dat he might die laughing. Merde, true evil never looked this cute,"

Then Remy simply couldn't control his mirth any longer and simply laughed and laughed until the tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Oh darn," sighed Thinithter.