Against all odds, it was a quiet morning in Nerima that day.
Actually, that wasn't against the odds at all. What was against the odds was that it seemed prepared to stay that way. The entire Neriman Christian Community crossed themselves that morning, because a morning without at least one exciting, explosive, or electrocuting thing happening usually meant an afternoon full of them.
It wasn't really as bad as they paint, however. So ten-foot monsters and the occasional bikini-clad electricity-wielding extraterrestrial demon were known in Nerima. It certainly wasn't as bad as a Gojiro sighting and, actually, the activity rather livened up the place. That's why so many elderly people still lived there: to get a vicarious thrill out of watching the younger citizens "having fun" so to speak. It rarely ever resulted in any serious casualties.
Not that those involved weren't ever TRYING to cause casualties.
It's just that every time something wierd was about to cause some, something else wierd would happen, generally not related to the first thing at all, in a way that would avert the first thing.
The real reason for the Neriman Christian Community crossing themselves was that they consisted of a lone couple of pessimistic foreigners who had somehow managed to keep their belief in a single, lone God despite the constant appearance of many goddesses and numerous smaller kami.
It was rather sad, because most Christians are actually very nice people. Oh well. Where was I?
Ah, yes. Quiet morning.
**************************************************************************** *************
Passenger
Chapter 3: Thunder and rain! When it rains, it.... oars?
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by S. Starblade
Dedicated to those others who have gone before, doing obvious SI.... and not following stereotypes.
Warning: I borrow lots of stuff from other fanfictions. I hope my interperetations are satisfactory- I don't intend to totally duplicate anything. I have the greatest respect for those from whose fanfictions I am borrowing, as they are among the best of the best. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: A disclaimer will be 2000 yen, please. Thank you. They aren't mine, except the ones who are. And none of those are you. Have a nice day.
Key:
= English
" "= Japanese
[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs
{ } = Chinese ( I know, I know. There isn't any yet. But there will be eventually.)
* * = Internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha
± ± = Don't these things look cool?
**************************************************************************** *************
*School?* Yasha echoed Ranma, in their head.
"Well, " said Genma, "We ARE going to be staying here a while..."
"It's the same school as Akane and I go to. I'll see you at lunch!"
"Wait!" shouted Akane, trailing behind Nabiki, who had just walked by the living room. "I'll go with you!"
"Sorry, Akane, I have some business I can't wait for. And you have to show Ranma to his classroom anyways. You should go with him."
Akane grumbled something incomprehensible, giving Ranma a glare.
Ranma just blinked and got up to go get his stuff. Yasha had told him that school was going to be neccessary at some point if he ever wanted to survive in a city, and she was usually right about this sort of thing... besides, he still had his old bookbag. Hmm. Shirt might also be a good idea. Never know when it's going to get cold, and then a tanktop just won't cut it alone.
******
"You're not marrying ME!" snarled Akane, not even looking up at Ranma, who was walking on the top of the water canal fence.
"Okay." Came his reply.
There was a pause while Akane tried to deal with such an unexpected response.
She turned her head to glare at him somewhat less fiercely. "So don't hang around me in school!"
"Don't WORRY!" Ranma replied, still not looking at Akane. "I can't STAND ma-"Ranma left off, mid-word.
*What was that, Yasha?*
*I said, calm down. I think she likes this even less than we do, and even if we don't wind up stuck marrying her, she's going to at least be our sister-in-law, most likely. We don't want to be on her bad side.*
*You're awfully accepting of this, Yasha...*
*Not really. I'm just giving it its chance. We agreed to the one-year thing, and I, for one, plan to stick to it. C'mon, how bad could it get? Besides, it's on at least your honor, if not mine.*
* I suppose you have a point.*
"I said, WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?!?!"
Ranma nearly fell off the fence at the force of Akane's yell. "Huh?"
"What was that you said?!"
Ranma thought quickly. "I said, uh, that... that if ya can't stand me, then I won't bug ya any."
*Nice save, Ranma!*
*Thanks, Yasha.*
Akane looked mollified. "Well, I mean, it's not you, it's this whole engagement thing. They didn't give me much of a choice about it. Just don't act too familiar, okay?"
"Sure" came the nonchalant reply. "I hope you don't mind me saying it.... but, well, I think you're kinda a tomboy."
"What," Akane began, belligerently, "are you saying I'm unfeminine??"
"No, I jus-"
THWAKK!!
"Ite! Oyaji, what're you-"
"You're in no position to be choosy about women! You're lucky the wimpy girl is even considering y-"
SPLOOSH went Genma, finding himself in the canal with Akane's bookbag in his lap. And a bit of a bruise, too.
Ranma and Yasha just laughed. The panda, seeing this, jumped up to the fence.
*Good one, Akane!*
"Nice shot, Akane! So, Oyaji, you were sayin' something?"
The panda almost seemed to grin, before going down on all fours on the fence.
"What're you-"
Ranma was cut off as the panda shook itself violently, flinging water everywhere. Akane managed to step back out of range. Ranma wasn't so lucky. Neither was Yasha.
There was a ripping sound as another pair of Ranma's boxers gained the addition of a tailhole. Ranma-Yasha winced at the slight pain from this, then fell off the fence as she lost her balance. She landed, fortunately, in the canal, and tread water, while glaring up at the panda, which seemed to be laughing.
"Laughing all you like, Oyaji. How am I to school go, when I like this? Am registered as human, ne?"
The panda blinked, swore to itself incomprehensibly, and turned to run back to the Dojo.
Yasha just clambered out of the canal and over the fence, after adjusting her pants. A lot.
Akane grimaced at the dripping demon. "C'mon, I know where to get hot water and it won't take so long."
Ranma-Yasha couldn't help but notice that Akane now totally refused to look at her, and seemed a bit nervous, too. Sigh. A demon's lot is not a popular one.
******
Ranma-Yasha waited outside by the clinic sign, while Akane went in to get the water. Hopefully, noone would see her and try to "send the demon back to hell". She'd gotten plenty of that while traveling alone with her (sort- of) father.
"Che. What a way to starting day. This not very-" She cut off when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning, she found herself face-to-face with a skeleton. She was SO not in the mood for this. Her tail began to lash as she gave the skeleton her best vicious glare, and her quills stood up even further. "Grrrrrrrrrrr...."
Touhuu went white. It was a full-blown demon! And not an extraterrestrial- type demon, a genuine pits-of-hell, burning brimstone demon with the vilest aura of..... humanity?? What the heck was going on here? He stood frozen until Yasha reached out and grabbed his Betty-chan by the skull.
The damned skeleton would regret this. And whoever had animated it would.... oh. Let's see. Man holding skeleton. Man is... twenty- something, wearing a gi, has glasses on.... looks puzzled.
"Please not do that again." Yasha ground out between clenched teeth.
"Aheh..." Touhuu grinned nervously, noting the demon-girl's heavy accent. Sorry. Thats just my way of greeting new patients to Nerima. I hope Betty-chan didn't scare you?
Yasha almost laughed. Skeleton's haven't ever scared me. Although, if your intent isn't to scare people, maybe you should lose the stiff when greeting them.
Touhuu blinked. Gee, I.... never thought of it that way. I guess you're right. Although Betty-chan is useful for telling who has heart conditions. Hehehe... Touhuu had to laugh at his own joke, because Yasha was looking at him like he was stupid, and he had a vague feeling that he'd missed something obviously wrong with what he'd said.
*This guy is not that bright.*
*What makes you say that, Yasha?*
*Ah... I'll explain later.*
TONGGGG! Went the kettle as Akane put it down on Ranma-Yasha's head.
"Ite." Sait Ranma-Yasha flatly, then looked back and forth between Akane and Touhuu.
"You haven't been by lately, " began Touhuu. "No new injuries?"
*What's up here? Akane's looking at him like...* thought Yasha.
"No, sir." Akane replied, looking down slightly and blushing a bit. "I mean, I haven't been doing anything that would..." she trailed off.
Yasha chuckled to herself as she poured the hot water on herself just out of sight.
"Interesting." said Ranma. Then he looked at the giant clock on the far- off school. "Oh, crud! We're gonna be late!"
******
"Who was that guy?" Queried Ranma, as he and Akane ran towards the school at warp factor two.
"You mean Touhuu-sensei? He's the local chiropractor, acupuncturist, general doctor... he does EVERYTHING around here."
"Martial arts master too, right?"
"Yeah, that's right! How could you tell?"
"......lucky guess." said Ranma, keeping his thoughts to himself entirely.
"True, he's very good. Doesn't look it, does he? Ever since I was little, he's taken care of my injuries."
"Soo..." began Ranma, hopping off the fence to run alongside Akane.
* Don't ask it, Ranma.*
*Whaaat? What did I do?*
*Nothing, but you were going to do something. Don't make assumptions, Ranma. Because, as a teacher of mine liked to say, when you assume, you make a jack Ass out of U and Me. And noone likes being a donkey.*
*Okay, okay. I'll be more careful next time.*
* Thank you.*
"So, you like him, huh?" asked Ranma.
This was one of those times when Yasha would have really liked to be able to hit Ranma over the head.
"It's none of your business, pervert!"
Ranma blinked.
*Where did THAT one come from?*
"Why am I a pervert?" Ranma asked, avoiding the other question, namely, 'What's a pervert?' After all, if he made it look like he didn't know, maybe she'd think he was stupid, and that might get him in bad with possible future family.
It should be noted that anyone above average intelligence has the tendency to occasionally make logic jumps that are generally totally incomprehensible to others. The smarter you are, the worse it gets.
Which is why, when Yasha heard him think that, she simply shrugged it off and decided not to ask.
"Because!" huffed Akane, accelerating to Warp Factor Three, " All boys are perverts!"
They were nearing the school gates.
"I...."
Suddenly, a huge mass of male students appeared in the front yard of the school.
"HATE....." Akane's voice grew gradually in volume.
"I love you Akane!" "Don't let them beat you, you're mine!" "You must succumb to my Tango of Doom!" "I, Tuxedo Puck, the defender of Hockey, cannot let you be beaten by any other than myself!" " I shall push open the doors of your heart!"
"MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ranma jumped up and perched on the wall to one side of the gate as Akane dove into the crowd, sending hormone-crazed teenagers every which way. He looked on puzzledly, as people tried to defeat her with weapons, improvised weapons, and things which should never be used as improvised weapons. After all, anything as squishy as a bunch of bananas just wasn't effective. Especially when you slipped and fell on it before bringing it to bear. And then there was the guy trying to suffocate people with cheeze whiz. Right.
Mayhem, thy name is Akane Tendo.
Nabiki, looking out the window from her classroom, spotted Ranma. "RANMA! Get in this school! NOW!!"
Ranma looked up, pointing in Akane's general direction, totally ignoring the gathering rainclouds. "But--"
"Don't worry about Akane!"
Sure enough, the sounds of mayhem had stopped, and Ranma looked at the carnage before him.
*Ewww.* Said Yasha, in their mind. * I didn't think you could DO that with a shinai.... And the poor guy with the yoyo.... I hope they don't break the stomach pump.*
"Every." huffed Akane, seeming to only get more worked up. "Single. Freaking. MORNING!"
An object flew straight for Akane, who smashed the poor, innocent rose into the ground with her bookbag.
"Such a boorish lot." Stated the tall, dark boy in the kendo hakama. "All intending to ask you out."
Akane growled.
Just a side note- in most Ranma universes, Ranma arrives at the Tendou Dojo on a certain day. This time, however, due to production delays (just kidding), he has arrived about a week later. When Akane is in the middle of "that time of month". It should also be noted that Kuno has a tendency to stay in the hospital for a day or two once every four weeks or so. When asked about this later, all Akane had to say was "I got overzealous."
"Might you fight with me, Akane Tendo?"
"Wow." Said Ranma, landing next to Akane. "You're popular, aint'cha?"
"YOU!" shouted the kendoist, aiming his bokken at Ranma. "You are being very familiar with Akane. I would like to know..... WHY?"
"Tell him, Akane."
Pause.
"Akane?"
"Tell him WHAT?"
Another pause. The tall dark kendoist is almost beginning to slaver as he loses patience.
"Who ARE you, boor?!" Shouted the hakama-clad stick-wielding maniac. "But, wait!!" he continued, interrupting Ranma. " It is customary to give one's OWN name FIRST!! That is why you have paused! Very well, MINE I shall GIVE!!"
*Loud nutball.* Commented Yasha.
"Here we go again." Muttered Akane.
"My name...." stated Kuno, doing a passable Captain Kirk pause-after-every- third-word-for-dramatic-purposes, "Is Upperclassman.... KUNO TATEWAKI!! But you.... you may call me.... Upperclassman! Captain..... of the Kendo Club..... Undefeated rising star.... of the high school fencing world.... I am known as...."
Really big dramatic pause.
" AOIRO IKAZUCHI!" (Blue Thunder)
Ranma nearly fell over. "Did you just call yourself..."
Another dramatic pause.
" YAOI RO ITTKATSU CHI???" (Roaring Gay Earth Oar)
Everyone in the school, Akane, Kuno, and a few of the less-unconscious boys lying on the field performed a massive flying group facefault.
Ranma looked puzzled, trying to figure out why Kuno would call himself that.
Yasha was laughing her metaphysical head off.
"No, you fool! The BLUE THUNDER! BLUE THUNDER!!!!!" Shouted Kuno, red with rage and embarrasment.
Ranma snorted. "Whatever you say, Mr. Shoutin' Gay Dirt Paddle. Anyways, I'm stayin' at the Tendo Dojo..."
"What?!" Interrupted Kuno, Nabiki having been too busy laughing to interrupt and ask about his old "shooting star" nickname. "Under the same roof as AKANE?!"
Kuno attacked as fast as he could.
In other words, not nearly fast enough, as Ranma backflipped out of the way. He tried to throw his bag to Akane, but missed because she had fallen over and was rolling on the ground, laughing.
He continued midair. "I'm heir t' the Musabetsou Kaketou Saotome Ryu..." Then he landed, and finished, taking a ready stance. "Saotome Ranma! And I accept your challenge!"
__________________________________________
Just a note: Other than "yaoi", yes, "Yaoi ro ittkatsu chi" means (literally) "(gay? Not quite sure...) oar roaring earth". I translate it a little bit loosely for this purpose. Don't ask how I thought of that. I'm not too sure myself.
Actually, that wasn't against the odds at all. What was against the odds was that it seemed prepared to stay that way. The entire Neriman Christian Community crossed themselves that morning, because a morning without at least one exciting, explosive, or electrocuting thing happening usually meant an afternoon full of them.
It wasn't really as bad as they paint, however. So ten-foot monsters and the occasional bikini-clad electricity-wielding extraterrestrial demon were known in Nerima. It certainly wasn't as bad as a Gojiro sighting and, actually, the activity rather livened up the place. That's why so many elderly people still lived there: to get a vicarious thrill out of watching the younger citizens "having fun" so to speak. It rarely ever resulted in any serious casualties.
Not that those involved weren't ever TRYING to cause casualties.
It's just that every time something wierd was about to cause some, something else wierd would happen, generally not related to the first thing at all, in a way that would avert the first thing.
The real reason for the Neriman Christian Community crossing themselves was that they consisted of a lone couple of pessimistic foreigners who had somehow managed to keep their belief in a single, lone God despite the constant appearance of many goddesses and numerous smaller kami.
It was rather sad, because most Christians are actually very nice people. Oh well. Where was I?
Ah, yes. Quiet morning.
**************************************************************************** *************
Passenger
Chapter 3: Thunder and rain! When it rains, it.... oars?
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by S. Starblade
Dedicated to those others who have gone before, doing obvious SI.... and not following stereotypes.
Warning: I borrow lots of stuff from other fanfictions. I hope my interperetations are satisfactory- I don't intend to totally duplicate anything. I have the greatest respect for those from whose fanfictions I am borrowing, as they are among the best of the best. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: A disclaimer will be 2000 yen, please. Thank you. They aren't mine, except the ones who are. And none of those are you. Have a nice day.
Key:
= English
" "= Japanese
[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs
{ } = Chinese ( I know, I know. There isn't any yet. But there will be eventually.)
* * = Internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha
± ± = Don't these things look cool?
**************************************************************************** *************
*School?* Yasha echoed Ranma, in their head.
"Well, " said Genma, "We ARE going to be staying here a while..."
"It's the same school as Akane and I go to. I'll see you at lunch!"
"Wait!" shouted Akane, trailing behind Nabiki, who had just walked by the living room. "I'll go with you!"
"Sorry, Akane, I have some business I can't wait for. And you have to show Ranma to his classroom anyways. You should go with him."
Akane grumbled something incomprehensible, giving Ranma a glare.
Ranma just blinked and got up to go get his stuff. Yasha had told him that school was going to be neccessary at some point if he ever wanted to survive in a city, and she was usually right about this sort of thing... besides, he still had his old bookbag. Hmm. Shirt might also be a good idea. Never know when it's going to get cold, and then a tanktop just won't cut it alone.
******
"You're not marrying ME!" snarled Akane, not even looking up at Ranma, who was walking on the top of the water canal fence.
"Okay." Came his reply.
There was a pause while Akane tried to deal with such an unexpected response.
She turned her head to glare at him somewhat less fiercely. "So don't hang around me in school!"
"Don't WORRY!" Ranma replied, still not looking at Akane. "I can't STAND ma-"Ranma left off, mid-word.
*What was that, Yasha?*
*I said, calm down. I think she likes this even less than we do, and even if we don't wind up stuck marrying her, she's going to at least be our sister-in-law, most likely. We don't want to be on her bad side.*
*You're awfully accepting of this, Yasha...*
*Not really. I'm just giving it its chance. We agreed to the one-year thing, and I, for one, plan to stick to it. C'mon, how bad could it get? Besides, it's on at least your honor, if not mine.*
* I suppose you have a point.*
"I said, WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?!?!"
Ranma nearly fell off the fence at the force of Akane's yell. "Huh?"
"What was that you said?!"
Ranma thought quickly. "I said, uh, that... that if ya can't stand me, then I won't bug ya any."
*Nice save, Ranma!*
*Thanks, Yasha.*
Akane looked mollified. "Well, I mean, it's not you, it's this whole engagement thing. They didn't give me much of a choice about it. Just don't act too familiar, okay?"
"Sure" came the nonchalant reply. "I hope you don't mind me saying it.... but, well, I think you're kinda a tomboy."
"What," Akane began, belligerently, "are you saying I'm unfeminine??"
"No, I jus-"
THWAKK!!
"Ite! Oyaji, what're you-"
"You're in no position to be choosy about women! You're lucky the wimpy girl is even considering y-"
SPLOOSH went Genma, finding himself in the canal with Akane's bookbag in his lap. And a bit of a bruise, too.
Ranma and Yasha just laughed. The panda, seeing this, jumped up to the fence.
*Good one, Akane!*
"Nice shot, Akane! So, Oyaji, you were sayin' something?"
The panda almost seemed to grin, before going down on all fours on the fence.
"What're you-"
Ranma was cut off as the panda shook itself violently, flinging water everywhere. Akane managed to step back out of range. Ranma wasn't so lucky. Neither was Yasha.
There was a ripping sound as another pair of Ranma's boxers gained the addition of a tailhole. Ranma-Yasha winced at the slight pain from this, then fell off the fence as she lost her balance. She landed, fortunately, in the canal, and tread water, while glaring up at the panda, which seemed to be laughing.
"Laughing all you like, Oyaji. How am I to school go, when I like this? Am registered as human, ne?"
The panda blinked, swore to itself incomprehensibly, and turned to run back to the Dojo.
Yasha just clambered out of the canal and over the fence, after adjusting her pants. A lot.
Akane grimaced at the dripping demon. "C'mon, I know where to get hot water and it won't take so long."
Ranma-Yasha couldn't help but notice that Akane now totally refused to look at her, and seemed a bit nervous, too. Sigh. A demon's lot is not a popular one.
******
Ranma-Yasha waited outside by the clinic sign, while Akane went in to get the water. Hopefully, noone would see her and try to "send the demon back to hell". She'd gotten plenty of that while traveling alone with her (sort- of) father.
"Che. What a way to starting day. This not very-" She cut off when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning, she found herself face-to-face with a skeleton. She was SO not in the mood for this. Her tail began to lash as she gave the skeleton her best vicious glare, and her quills stood up even further. "Grrrrrrrrrrr...."
Touhuu went white. It was a full-blown demon! And not an extraterrestrial- type demon, a genuine pits-of-hell, burning brimstone demon with the vilest aura of..... humanity?? What the heck was going on here? He stood frozen until Yasha reached out and grabbed his Betty-chan by the skull.
The damned skeleton would regret this. And whoever had animated it would.... oh. Let's see. Man holding skeleton. Man is... twenty- something, wearing a gi, has glasses on.... looks puzzled.
"Please not do that again." Yasha ground out between clenched teeth.
"Aheh..." Touhuu grinned nervously, noting the demon-girl's heavy accent. Sorry. Thats just my way of greeting new patients to Nerima. I hope Betty-chan didn't scare you?
Yasha almost laughed. Skeleton's haven't ever scared me. Although, if your intent isn't to scare people, maybe you should lose the stiff when greeting them.
Touhuu blinked. Gee, I.... never thought of it that way. I guess you're right. Although Betty-chan is useful for telling who has heart conditions. Hehehe... Touhuu had to laugh at his own joke, because Yasha was looking at him like he was stupid, and he had a vague feeling that he'd missed something obviously wrong with what he'd said.
*This guy is not that bright.*
*What makes you say that, Yasha?*
*Ah... I'll explain later.*
TONGGGG! Went the kettle as Akane put it down on Ranma-Yasha's head.
"Ite." Sait Ranma-Yasha flatly, then looked back and forth between Akane and Touhuu.
"You haven't been by lately, " began Touhuu. "No new injuries?"
*What's up here? Akane's looking at him like...* thought Yasha.
"No, sir." Akane replied, looking down slightly and blushing a bit. "I mean, I haven't been doing anything that would..." she trailed off.
Yasha chuckled to herself as she poured the hot water on herself just out of sight.
"Interesting." said Ranma. Then he looked at the giant clock on the far- off school. "Oh, crud! We're gonna be late!"
******
"Who was that guy?" Queried Ranma, as he and Akane ran towards the school at warp factor two.
"You mean Touhuu-sensei? He's the local chiropractor, acupuncturist, general doctor... he does EVERYTHING around here."
"Martial arts master too, right?"
"Yeah, that's right! How could you tell?"
"......lucky guess." said Ranma, keeping his thoughts to himself entirely.
"True, he's very good. Doesn't look it, does he? Ever since I was little, he's taken care of my injuries."
"Soo..." began Ranma, hopping off the fence to run alongside Akane.
* Don't ask it, Ranma.*
*Whaaat? What did I do?*
*Nothing, but you were going to do something. Don't make assumptions, Ranma. Because, as a teacher of mine liked to say, when you assume, you make a jack Ass out of U and Me. And noone likes being a donkey.*
*Okay, okay. I'll be more careful next time.*
* Thank you.*
"So, you like him, huh?" asked Ranma.
This was one of those times when Yasha would have really liked to be able to hit Ranma over the head.
"It's none of your business, pervert!"
Ranma blinked.
*Where did THAT one come from?*
"Why am I a pervert?" Ranma asked, avoiding the other question, namely, 'What's a pervert?' After all, if he made it look like he didn't know, maybe she'd think he was stupid, and that might get him in bad with possible future family.
It should be noted that anyone above average intelligence has the tendency to occasionally make logic jumps that are generally totally incomprehensible to others. The smarter you are, the worse it gets.
Which is why, when Yasha heard him think that, she simply shrugged it off and decided not to ask.
"Because!" huffed Akane, accelerating to Warp Factor Three, " All boys are perverts!"
They were nearing the school gates.
"I...."
Suddenly, a huge mass of male students appeared in the front yard of the school.
"HATE....." Akane's voice grew gradually in volume.
"I love you Akane!" "Don't let them beat you, you're mine!" "You must succumb to my Tango of Doom!" "I, Tuxedo Puck, the defender of Hockey, cannot let you be beaten by any other than myself!" " I shall push open the doors of your heart!"
"MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ranma jumped up and perched on the wall to one side of the gate as Akane dove into the crowd, sending hormone-crazed teenagers every which way. He looked on puzzledly, as people tried to defeat her with weapons, improvised weapons, and things which should never be used as improvised weapons. After all, anything as squishy as a bunch of bananas just wasn't effective. Especially when you slipped and fell on it before bringing it to bear. And then there was the guy trying to suffocate people with cheeze whiz. Right.
Mayhem, thy name is Akane Tendo.
Nabiki, looking out the window from her classroom, spotted Ranma. "RANMA! Get in this school! NOW!!"
Ranma looked up, pointing in Akane's general direction, totally ignoring the gathering rainclouds. "But--"
"Don't worry about Akane!"
Sure enough, the sounds of mayhem had stopped, and Ranma looked at the carnage before him.
*Ewww.* Said Yasha, in their mind. * I didn't think you could DO that with a shinai.... And the poor guy with the yoyo.... I hope they don't break the stomach pump.*
"Every." huffed Akane, seeming to only get more worked up. "Single. Freaking. MORNING!"
An object flew straight for Akane, who smashed the poor, innocent rose into the ground with her bookbag.
"Such a boorish lot." Stated the tall, dark boy in the kendo hakama. "All intending to ask you out."
Akane growled.
Just a side note- in most Ranma universes, Ranma arrives at the Tendou Dojo on a certain day. This time, however, due to production delays (just kidding), he has arrived about a week later. When Akane is in the middle of "that time of month". It should also be noted that Kuno has a tendency to stay in the hospital for a day or two once every four weeks or so. When asked about this later, all Akane had to say was "I got overzealous."
"Might you fight with me, Akane Tendo?"
"Wow." Said Ranma, landing next to Akane. "You're popular, aint'cha?"
"YOU!" shouted the kendoist, aiming his bokken at Ranma. "You are being very familiar with Akane. I would like to know..... WHY?"
"Tell him, Akane."
Pause.
"Akane?"
"Tell him WHAT?"
Another pause. The tall dark kendoist is almost beginning to slaver as he loses patience.
"Who ARE you, boor?!" Shouted the hakama-clad stick-wielding maniac. "But, wait!!" he continued, interrupting Ranma. " It is customary to give one's OWN name FIRST!! That is why you have paused! Very well, MINE I shall GIVE!!"
*Loud nutball.* Commented Yasha.
"Here we go again." Muttered Akane.
"My name...." stated Kuno, doing a passable Captain Kirk pause-after-every- third-word-for-dramatic-purposes, "Is Upperclassman.... KUNO TATEWAKI!! But you.... you may call me.... Upperclassman! Captain..... of the Kendo Club..... Undefeated rising star.... of the high school fencing world.... I am known as...."
Really big dramatic pause.
" AOIRO IKAZUCHI!" (Blue Thunder)
Ranma nearly fell over. "Did you just call yourself..."
Another dramatic pause.
" YAOI RO ITTKATSU CHI???" (Roaring Gay Earth Oar)
Everyone in the school, Akane, Kuno, and a few of the less-unconscious boys lying on the field performed a massive flying group facefault.
Ranma looked puzzled, trying to figure out why Kuno would call himself that.
Yasha was laughing her metaphysical head off.
"No, you fool! The BLUE THUNDER! BLUE THUNDER!!!!!" Shouted Kuno, red with rage and embarrasment.
Ranma snorted. "Whatever you say, Mr. Shoutin' Gay Dirt Paddle. Anyways, I'm stayin' at the Tendo Dojo..."
"What?!" Interrupted Kuno, Nabiki having been too busy laughing to interrupt and ask about his old "shooting star" nickname. "Under the same roof as AKANE?!"
Kuno attacked as fast as he could.
In other words, not nearly fast enough, as Ranma backflipped out of the way. He tried to throw his bag to Akane, but missed because she had fallen over and was rolling on the ground, laughing.
He continued midair. "I'm heir t' the Musabetsou Kaketou Saotome Ryu..." Then he landed, and finished, taking a ready stance. "Saotome Ranma! And I accept your challenge!"
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Just a note: Other than "yaoi", yes, "Yaoi ro ittkatsu chi" means (literally) "(gay? Not quite sure...) oar roaring earth". I translate it a little bit loosely for this purpose. Don't ask how I thought of that. I'm not too sure myself.