"Hey!" Exclaimed Hiroshi, looking out the window as he wiped away the tears
of laughter. "I think that guy's gonna fight Kuno! Ahehehehe...."
Daisuke just kept laughing. "Roaring gay....! Ahahahahahahaaaaa..... Dirty Gay Paddle! Bwahahahahaaaa!"
A floor down, Nabiki had finally regained her composure, aside from the amused grin that was an extension of her smirk. "I sure hope Ranma knows what he's getting into. Heheh. Mmph. Roaring Gay. Heheh. Too much."
One of the seniors on the second floor, in the classroom below Nabiki's, nearly fell out the window as he was gasping for breath. As his friends pulled him back in, still laughing themselves, all he could gasp out was "Priceless.... Kuno's face.... heeeeeee...."
"Aheheheheheh... Snap... ahah... snap out of it, Goro.... heeheehee.... Don' wanna have to clean... ahah... ya up offa the ground.... haha.... under the window.....heh..."
Obviously, the mere thought of Kuno Tatewaki being gay was just too much for everyone in the school. That and the expression on his face when he'd heard that Ranma character call him the "Roaring Gay Earth Oar". Several of the students could have sworn Kuno had turned green all over at the thought, not just in the face. Even if the poor sap got pulverized by Kuno, it was worth it to have the similarity pointed out.
"Scoundrel! Taunting the Blue Thunder and hounding the beauteous Tendou Akane! It shall not be allowed! I, Upperclassman Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High-" Here, Kuno raised his bokken, and lightning streaked down a short distance away, ripping off a perfectly timed peal of thunder- "Shall bring you to JUSTICE!!!"
*Ranma, aheheheh... It's gonna rain soon. Heeheeheehee.... Get this over with, will ya?*
Ranma just couldn't understand what was so funny.
**************************************************************************** *************
Passenger
Chapter 4: Of spelling mistakes and coloured gas.
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by S. Starblade
Dedicated to those others who have gone before, doing obvious SI... and not falling into the traps.
Warning: I borrow stuff. From everywhere. I'm not trying to plagiarize or anything. Deal with it. Oh, and enjoy this fanfiction.
Disclaimer: Oh, my. These aren't mine. I shall have to give them back, as soon as I am done with them. Ah, wait. Some of these are mine. Well, at least they aren't anyone else's.... I shall just keep ahold of them unless someone else can claim them. Enjoy this!
Key:
= English
" " = Japanese
[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs
{ } = Chinese
* *= Internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha
§ § = Is this joke getting old yet?
**************************************************************************** *************
"So who's HOUNDING anyone?!" Asked Ranma.
"Mmph." said Akane, getting up and trying not to giggle. Kuno. Gay. "Mmpheeheeheemmph." Poor Ranma was gonna get his head handed to him. Oh well.
*Neat trick he did with the lightning, though, you have to admit.*
*True enough, Yasha.*
"Pay attention, fool!" Shouted Tatewaki, as he charged in, intent on splitting this scoundrel's skull in two vertically.
CHUNGGG!
Darned wall was in the way anyways.
Tatewaki, the noble samurai (Yeah right.), Turned to look where he had caught a flicker of motion with the corner of his eye. Target confirmed, he swiftly brought his weapon of divine vengence (read: wooden kendo stick) to bear, attempting again to injure this foul, physics-defying knave.
HWHAK!
Well... that tree had always obstructed his view of the scenic horizon when he was in class. It was just as well.
"Excuse me, excuse me.." said Ranma, landing on the other side of the felled part of the tree. "Let's just get this straight here...."
Kuno jumped back as Ranma practically appeared right in his face. "Akane and I have NO interest at ALL in each other."
'Amazing...' thought Akane, watching. 'He's better than I thought! He was there before Kuno could blink! Maybe he really is that much better than me!'
"She means NOTHING to me!" Shouted Ranma, backing the Killer Krazed Kendoist up as he yelled. "I have no interest in such a hot-tempered TOMBOY!!"
"Ranmaaa...." Akane growled, hefting a handy shot dropped by a member of the shot put team when she'd sprained his wrist. "Nooo HENTAI!!!!" And with that, she put the shot put people to shame.
"Dammit, Akane, quit calling me- oop-" Ranma jumped out of the way of Kuno's bokken, which would soon meet the steel shot.
"Speaking ill of Akane!" Yelled Kuno, swinging violently. "I FORB-"
KRANNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRUNCH
"Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi" Said the vibrating Tatewaki as he shook, his bokken destroyed in the middle, the end hanging by a few splinters of wood and shaking more violently than he himself.
The shot, of course, rebounded and bounced, quickly embedding itself in the wall. Good luck getting THAT one back.
"Wow. Kuno-chan should try out for baseball." Stated Nabiki, somewhat awed. "Ought to work on that follow-through, though."
Tatewaki had tried out for baseball. He hadn't liked it, though, and had merely accepted it when they kicked him off. He really didn't understand. If the pitcher hit him with a ball going that fast, why wasn't it okay to hit the pitcher with the bat? He hadn't seen any rules against it in the book....
If it wasn't already obvious, the Kunos are not known for common sense. But then, if you know much about them, you already knew that.
Ranma had decided. The Gay Thunder... or was it Blue Paddle? Roaring Earth? Whatever. The manic kendoist was going to take a nap now.
Kuno had other ideas, dropping his bokken and pulling another from his pants (don't ask) to use against the three of Ranma. Thunder struck somewhere nearby.
Time seemed to pause.
Ranma, midair, with his hand out, first two fingers pointing at Kuno's forehead from an inch away.
Kuno, lucky enough this one time to have struck out at the real Ranma, despite the two others swimming in his vision.
The panda at the gates with a steaming kettle, running straight for Ranma, with an oddly relieved expression on his face.
....panda?
Time, confused, forgot and hit the pause button again, and everything resumed. The panda plowed through Kuno, knocking him aside and grabbing Ranma just in time for the change to happen. Then it ran into the building.
"Wow." "Cool." "Just one blow!" "Heheh... Roaring gay earth oar" "Um, 'Roshi? It wasn't that funny." "That's a real strong panda."
Murmurs ran through the school and rumors about gay pandas and kettles knocking out Kuno with one hit ran rampant as people went to go start their classes.
******
Genma-Panda sweated as he checked from the PE Equipment closet to see if they had been spotted.
"Stupid rain. If not water, stupid kendoist be pushing up daisies."
"Ah, I wouldn't be so sure..." Said Akane, crouching on the sill as she opened the window, careful not to look directly at Ranma-Yasha.
"Nani?"
"Your throat."
Ranma-Yasha lifted a hand to her neck. "So itching a bit, I..." Then she saw the small amount of soft-pink blood on her hand. "A cut? No, is... ah... how to say... " friction "burn. Cut not itch. I going need piece cotton and bandage, maybe.."
Genma-Panda poured the water, relieved to have the demonic visage removed from sight.
"Wow. An' he didn't even touch me. He's better'n I woulda thought f'r a hobbyist."
"If he HAD, " Akane turned to face the now-human Ranma, "You'd be breathing through a hole in your neck. Almost even match, wouldn't you say?"
"Maybe..." Said Ranma, enigmatically, rubbing the now-bruise on his neck.
******
"Hmmmm..." Hmmmmed Kuno Tatewaki, looking in a borrowed mirror.
What, you thought HE of all people would have owned a mirror bordered with pink ribbon bas-relief?
The esteemed samurai.... ah... wannabe swordsman... was examining the print on his forehead.
"Halfwited Nimrud" it read, in passable English characters.
"Amazing." Said Nabiki, watching him. "And you don't even remember him touching you?"
"Hmph." Hmphed Tatewaki, now in uniform, as he returned the mirror to Mitsuki, who was watching mutely. "And at first I thought he might be GOOD! But he can't spell English at all!"
He stepped over to the blackboard, taking up a piece of chalk.
"THIS is how you spell it!"
SKREEK SKREEK
The chalkboard now read "Hahhuwettid Nemuroddu" in English.
"Actually, Kuno-chan, it's spelled like this."
Tatewaki looked over at the board near Nabiki.
Her writing read "Halfwitted Nimrod" in English. In cursive. With decorative chibi-Tatewakis, all wearing dunce-caps, dancing around it. He could tell they were him, because each was saying something like "The Roaring Gay Knows How To Tango!" in Japanese.
Kuno looked blandly at Nabiki. "I despise you."
"I'm so glad." Stated Nabiki, equally blandly.
******
"Well, Saotome-san... Though you have spent the last while in China, this does not excuse your being late, even with the dirty gay panda incident."
Ranma and Akane both blinked slowly.
"Also late, " continued the teacher, oblivious to the fact-twisting pulled by the rumor mill, "Was Akane Tendou. Both of you take buckets and stand in the hall."
******
"This is all your fault." Stated Akane, not too angrily. She was still trying to keep a straight face over Kuno's new name.
"MY fault? How is it MY fault that YOUR fight slowed us down?"
"....yes, but every morning, I manage to finish MY fight BEFORE first bell rings." She replied, a little more hotly.
*Hey, Ranma... ya wanna ask her what all that was about, hopefully before she gets mad again?*
*I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it...*
"What was all that about, anyways? I'VE never gotten people attacking me while declaring love before."
Portentious words.
"At the beginning of the school year.." began Akane, sighing and looking downcast, "Kuno announced at the beginning of the school speech tournament..."
((FLASHBACK))
"Anyone wishing to take Akane Tendou out on a date, must defeat her for permission! I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Shooting Star of Furinkan High, will permit no other terms! Anyone attempting to break them must answer to ME!"
((END FLASHBACK))
"And they LISTENED????"
*What the hell kinda stupid thing is that to TELL everyone, anyways? I don't know about you, but that seems kinda dishonorable to me, saying something like that about her without her permission.*
*Hadn't thought of that, Yasha...*
"Well, Kuno IS the Kendo team captain, and they're the top martial arts club here..."
"Why didn'tcha tell 'em he was wrong, anyways? I mean, he didn' ask ya about it first, did he?"
******
"So, anyway, Kuno-chan, " Nabiki whispered, keeping her eyes on the board. "Our fathers, after everything was sorted out, engaged Ranma to Akane, Ka-"
Nabiki cut off when she realized that the seat next to her was now empty and on its side, and the classroom door was open.
"Chikushou. He didn't get the whole story. Well, I'm sure Akane can get him to listen."
"Ah.... Tendou-san?" Mr. Yamada asked, looking a bit surprised. "You wouldn't happen to know what set Kuno-san off this time, would you? Oh, and after you answer, take some buckets and go stand in the hall, please. Next time, don't talk while I'm giving a lecture."
"Yeah, sure." Grumbled Nabiki. Stupid Kuno-chan.
******
"And this happens every single morning, too?"
"Yeah..." said Akane, thoughtfully. "Kuno too... but I always win, somehow."
*Oh boy. Major snag.* Said Yasha. The girl wasn't actually better than Kuno, even she could see that. This spelled trouble with a capital T.
"Well... " Ranma trailed off, remembering his promise to Yasha to think first next time.
"Well, what??"
"It's just... most other men, when they fight a girl, go easy... "
Akane fumed. "What do you mean 'other men'? When we sparred before, you wouldn't even try to hit me! Don't underestimate me!"
"No, no no..." Had his hands been free, Ranma would have been waving them defensively. "You've got it all wrong! I mean, look at what you have to deal with every morning... It's good practice, but it's obvious that you're used to opponents who concentrate on striking you at any cost. Also at fighting multiple opponents."
Akane, for once, shut up and listened. This sounded like it was going somewhere.
"I mean, what would you do if one of them started acting like I did in our sparring match? All of those guys in the morning attack first, putting you on the response. You need to learn how to initiate it, so you don't get pulled into a trap if you ever DO have to."
*Wow.* Yasha was impressed. *You put a lot more thought than usual into this, Ranma. You've learned to think much faster. Congratulations.*
*Well, I try.*
"...." Akane was trying to find something to object to in what he'd said. The problem was, for a boy, he was being very reasonable. And not at all perverted, either... He was just standing there, looking thoughtfully out the window on the other side of the hall.
Satan, on the other hand, was pulling out a snow shovel and cursing.
"Yah!" shouted Ranma, jumping the sudden splash of water towards him. If he were to change here, Yasha might not make it, especially with Kuno right there to see the "demon"....
Akane wasn't quite as fast, and got doused.
Kuno, in his typical hyper-focused state, didn't notice at all.
"What the?" Rhetorically asked Ranma, carefully landing OUT of the water, then got a better look at Kuno. Who was soaked. And Nabiki down the hall with the fire hose, trying to get Kuno's attention. Her buckets were sitting by her feet.
"Nabiki?" Queried Akane, too surprised to get mad at her moistening yet.
"I SHALL NEVER ALLOW YOUR ENGAGEMENT TO AKANE, VILE CUR!!"
Akane had just enough time to mutter "Kuso."
"WHAT?? Engagement?!" "How COULD you, Akane??" "I thought you HATED boys!!" "Wait, which one of you is engaged to Akane?" "I bet it's the new kid! Ramen whats-his-name!"
"That's RANMA, you idi-whoop-"
Ranma was getting annoyed. Would he never be allowed to finish an important sentence around here? And what was it with water around here? Not to mention, how did Kuno slice a metal bucket CLEANLY with a wooden stick? That cut it. He was going to go outside where he could get some room, and teach this nimwit a lesson.
"Stand your ground, coward!" Shouted Kuno, giving chase.
"We can't fight in here with all these people! Follow me!" Yelled Ranma to the lunatic Kendoist.
"I follow eagerly to inflict a thrashing!" Replied Tatewaki.
Ranma spied an open window, and moved to it.
"What are you doing, Ranma?" Asked Nabiki, as he passed her.
*Let's see if he's tough enough to follow me HERE...*
*I wouldn't think so, Ranma... otherwise, he'd have done better against you earlier...*
"Here, let's go this way! It's faster!" Called back Ranma, jumping through the window.
"That I shall!" Stated Kuno, eyes only on Ranma, following him closely.
"Wait!" Shouted Nabiki. She didn't want to marry him, but she didn't exactly like the idea of a dead Ranma smeared across school grounds... "This is the third floor!"
"No sweat, I'm...." Ranma left off as he looked down. "Aw, chikushou."
*Yasha, this is gonna hurt.*
Yasha just braced herself as best she could without physically existing.
Had Ranma looked back up a little, he would have seen Kuno's eyes bug out almost as far at the drop as they had at the whole "Thundering Gay Dirt Oar" thing.
SPLASHHHHHH!!!!!
Yasha had just enough time in control before blacking out to bubble out an underwater "Ow."
******
Akane winced.
"Look!" sait Hiroshi, pointing at the pool. "The Burbling Fruity Muddy Stick is floating to the top!"
Akane winced again, wondering where THAT one came from.
"And what happened to Ranma?"
Akane ran for some hot water.
******
Kuno floated a little higher in the water as Yasha's unconscious form floated up into him, providing enough support to lift him some from buoyancy.
Yasha came to suddenly, almost gasping in a lungful of water, before heaving herself high enough in the water to drag a draught of air. Odd, treading water wasn't usually this difficult.
Oh. A deranged kendoist resting on your head WOULD make it harder. That and feeling like you'd been ironed all down your front.
Then Kuno came to, and she revised her statement to read "A deranged, kendoistic octopus-man."
"RANMA SAOTOME! I FIGHT ON!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Shrieked Yasha, mostly in pain, but some in mortification, and in fear of being found out.
This wasn't very good.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------
I have been informed that Yasha, as I described her, resembles the character Inu-Yasha from another of Takahashi-sama's manga. This is not intentional, and not as true as it seems. I beg to remind that when I said Yasha had "pointed ears", I was going more for elf-like than animal-like.
Oh, well.
Daisuke just kept laughing. "Roaring gay....! Ahahahahahahaaaaa..... Dirty Gay Paddle! Bwahahahahaaaa!"
A floor down, Nabiki had finally regained her composure, aside from the amused grin that was an extension of her smirk. "I sure hope Ranma knows what he's getting into. Heheh. Mmph. Roaring Gay. Heheh. Too much."
One of the seniors on the second floor, in the classroom below Nabiki's, nearly fell out the window as he was gasping for breath. As his friends pulled him back in, still laughing themselves, all he could gasp out was "Priceless.... Kuno's face.... heeeeeee...."
"Aheheheheheh... Snap... ahah... snap out of it, Goro.... heeheehee.... Don' wanna have to clean... ahah... ya up offa the ground.... haha.... under the window.....heh..."
Obviously, the mere thought of Kuno Tatewaki being gay was just too much for everyone in the school. That and the expression on his face when he'd heard that Ranma character call him the "Roaring Gay Earth Oar". Several of the students could have sworn Kuno had turned green all over at the thought, not just in the face. Even if the poor sap got pulverized by Kuno, it was worth it to have the similarity pointed out.
"Scoundrel! Taunting the Blue Thunder and hounding the beauteous Tendou Akane! It shall not be allowed! I, Upperclassman Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High-" Here, Kuno raised his bokken, and lightning streaked down a short distance away, ripping off a perfectly timed peal of thunder- "Shall bring you to JUSTICE!!!"
*Ranma, aheheheh... It's gonna rain soon. Heeheeheehee.... Get this over with, will ya?*
Ranma just couldn't understand what was so funny.
**************************************************************************** *************
Passenger
Chapter 4: Of spelling mistakes and coloured gas.
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by S. Starblade
Dedicated to those others who have gone before, doing obvious SI... and not falling into the traps.
Warning: I borrow stuff. From everywhere. I'm not trying to plagiarize or anything. Deal with it. Oh, and enjoy this fanfiction.
Disclaimer: Oh, my. These aren't mine. I shall have to give them back, as soon as I am done with them. Ah, wait. Some of these are mine. Well, at least they aren't anyone else's.... I shall just keep ahold of them unless someone else can claim them. Enjoy this!
Key:
= English
" " = Japanese
[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs
{ } = Chinese
* *= Internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha
§ § = Is this joke getting old yet?
**************************************************************************** *************
"So who's HOUNDING anyone?!" Asked Ranma.
"Mmph." said Akane, getting up and trying not to giggle. Kuno. Gay. "Mmpheeheeheemmph." Poor Ranma was gonna get his head handed to him. Oh well.
*Neat trick he did with the lightning, though, you have to admit.*
*True enough, Yasha.*
"Pay attention, fool!" Shouted Tatewaki, as he charged in, intent on splitting this scoundrel's skull in two vertically.
CHUNGGG!
Darned wall was in the way anyways.
Tatewaki, the noble samurai (Yeah right.), Turned to look where he had caught a flicker of motion with the corner of his eye. Target confirmed, he swiftly brought his weapon of divine vengence (read: wooden kendo stick) to bear, attempting again to injure this foul, physics-defying knave.
HWHAK!
Well... that tree had always obstructed his view of the scenic horizon when he was in class. It was just as well.
"Excuse me, excuse me.." said Ranma, landing on the other side of the felled part of the tree. "Let's just get this straight here...."
Kuno jumped back as Ranma practically appeared right in his face. "Akane and I have NO interest at ALL in each other."
'Amazing...' thought Akane, watching. 'He's better than I thought! He was there before Kuno could blink! Maybe he really is that much better than me!'
"She means NOTHING to me!" Shouted Ranma, backing the Killer Krazed Kendoist up as he yelled. "I have no interest in such a hot-tempered TOMBOY!!"
"Ranmaaa...." Akane growled, hefting a handy shot dropped by a member of the shot put team when she'd sprained his wrist. "Nooo HENTAI!!!!" And with that, she put the shot put people to shame.
"Dammit, Akane, quit calling me- oop-" Ranma jumped out of the way of Kuno's bokken, which would soon meet the steel shot.
"Speaking ill of Akane!" Yelled Kuno, swinging violently. "I FORB-"
KRANNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRUNCH
"Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi" Said the vibrating Tatewaki as he shook, his bokken destroyed in the middle, the end hanging by a few splinters of wood and shaking more violently than he himself.
The shot, of course, rebounded and bounced, quickly embedding itself in the wall. Good luck getting THAT one back.
"Wow. Kuno-chan should try out for baseball." Stated Nabiki, somewhat awed. "Ought to work on that follow-through, though."
Tatewaki had tried out for baseball. He hadn't liked it, though, and had merely accepted it when they kicked him off. He really didn't understand. If the pitcher hit him with a ball going that fast, why wasn't it okay to hit the pitcher with the bat? He hadn't seen any rules against it in the book....
If it wasn't already obvious, the Kunos are not known for common sense. But then, if you know much about them, you already knew that.
Ranma had decided. The Gay Thunder... or was it Blue Paddle? Roaring Earth? Whatever. The manic kendoist was going to take a nap now.
Kuno had other ideas, dropping his bokken and pulling another from his pants (don't ask) to use against the three of Ranma. Thunder struck somewhere nearby.
Time seemed to pause.
Ranma, midair, with his hand out, first two fingers pointing at Kuno's forehead from an inch away.
Kuno, lucky enough this one time to have struck out at the real Ranma, despite the two others swimming in his vision.
The panda at the gates with a steaming kettle, running straight for Ranma, with an oddly relieved expression on his face.
....panda?
Time, confused, forgot and hit the pause button again, and everything resumed. The panda plowed through Kuno, knocking him aside and grabbing Ranma just in time for the change to happen. Then it ran into the building.
"Wow." "Cool." "Just one blow!" "Heheh... Roaring gay earth oar" "Um, 'Roshi? It wasn't that funny." "That's a real strong panda."
Murmurs ran through the school and rumors about gay pandas and kettles knocking out Kuno with one hit ran rampant as people went to go start their classes.
******
Genma-Panda sweated as he checked from the PE Equipment closet to see if they had been spotted.
"Stupid rain. If not water, stupid kendoist be pushing up daisies."
"Ah, I wouldn't be so sure..." Said Akane, crouching on the sill as she opened the window, careful not to look directly at Ranma-Yasha.
"Nani?"
"Your throat."
Ranma-Yasha lifted a hand to her neck. "So itching a bit, I..." Then she saw the small amount of soft-pink blood on her hand. "A cut? No, is... ah... how to say... " friction "burn. Cut not itch. I going need piece cotton and bandage, maybe.."
Genma-Panda poured the water, relieved to have the demonic visage removed from sight.
"Wow. An' he didn't even touch me. He's better'n I woulda thought f'r a hobbyist."
"If he HAD, " Akane turned to face the now-human Ranma, "You'd be breathing through a hole in your neck. Almost even match, wouldn't you say?"
"Maybe..." Said Ranma, enigmatically, rubbing the now-bruise on his neck.
******
"Hmmmm..." Hmmmmed Kuno Tatewaki, looking in a borrowed mirror.
What, you thought HE of all people would have owned a mirror bordered with pink ribbon bas-relief?
The esteemed samurai.... ah... wannabe swordsman... was examining the print on his forehead.
"Halfwited Nimrud" it read, in passable English characters.
"Amazing." Said Nabiki, watching him. "And you don't even remember him touching you?"
"Hmph." Hmphed Tatewaki, now in uniform, as he returned the mirror to Mitsuki, who was watching mutely. "And at first I thought he might be GOOD! But he can't spell English at all!"
He stepped over to the blackboard, taking up a piece of chalk.
"THIS is how you spell it!"
SKREEK SKREEK
The chalkboard now read "Hahhuwettid Nemuroddu" in English.
"Actually, Kuno-chan, it's spelled like this."
Tatewaki looked over at the board near Nabiki.
Her writing read "Halfwitted Nimrod" in English. In cursive. With decorative chibi-Tatewakis, all wearing dunce-caps, dancing around it. He could tell they were him, because each was saying something like "The Roaring Gay Knows How To Tango!" in Japanese.
Kuno looked blandly at Nabiki. "I despise you."
"I'm so glad." Stated Nabiki, equally blandly.
******
"Well, Saotome-san... Though you have spent the last while in China, this does not excuse your being late, even with the dirty gay panda incident."
Ranma and Akane both blinked slowly.
"Also late, " continued the teacher, oblivious to the fact-twisting pulled by the rumor mill, "Was Akane Tendou. Both of you take buckets and stand in the hall."
******
"This is all your fault." Stated Akane, not too angrily. She was still trying to keep a straight face over Kuno's new name.
"MY fault? How is it MY fault that YOUR fight slowed us down?"
"....yes, but every morning, I manage to finish MY fight BEFORE first bell rings." She replied, a little more hotly.
*Hey, Ranma... ya wanna ask her what all that was about, hopefully before she gets mad again?*
*I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it...*
"What was all that about, anyways? I'VE never gotten people attacking me while declaring love before."
Portentious words.
"At the beginning of the school year.." began Akane, sighing and looking downcast, "Kuno announced at the beginning of the school speech tournament..."
((FLASHBACK))
"Anyone wishing to take Akane Tendou out on a date, must defeat her for permission! I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Shooting Star of Furinkan High, will permit no other terms! Anyone attempting to break them must answer to ME!"
((END FLASHBACK))
"And they LISTENED????"
*What the hell kinda stupid thing is that to TELL everyone, anyways? I don't know about you, but that seems kinda dishonorable to me, saying something like that about her without her permission.*
*Hadn't thought of that, Yasha...*
"Well, Kuno IS the Kendo team captain, and they're the top martial arts club here..."
"Why didn'tcha tell 'em he was wrong, anyways? I mean, he didn' ask ya about it first, did he?"
******
"So, anyway, Kuno-chan, " Nabiki whispered, keeping her eyes on the board. "Our fathers, after everything was sorted out, engaged Ranma to Akane, Ka-"
Nabiki cut off when she realized that the seat next to her was now empty and on its side, and the classroom door was open.
"Chikushou. He didn't get the whole story. Well, I'm sure Akane can get him to listen."
"Ah.... Tendou-san?" Mr. Yamada asked, looking a bit surprised. "You wouldn't happen to know what set Kuno-san off this time, would you? Oh, and after you answer, take some buckets and go stand in the hall, please. Next time, don't talk while I'm giving a lecture."
"Yeah, sure." Grumbled Nabiki. Stupid Kuno-chan.
******
"And this happens every single morning, too?"
"Yeah..." said Akane, thoughtfully. "Kuno too... but I always win, somehow."
*Oh boy. Major snag.* Said Yasha. The girl wasn't actually better than Kuno, even she could see that. This spelled trouble with a capital T.
"Well... " Ranma trailed off, remembering his promise to Yasha to think first next time.
"Well, what??"
"It's just... most other men, when they fight a girl, go easy... "
Akane fumed. "What do you mean 'other men'? When we sparred before, you wouldn't even try to hit me! Don't underestimate me!"
"No, no no..." Had his hands been free, Ranma would have been waving them defensively. "You've got it all wrong! I mean, look at what you have to deal with every morning... It's good practice, but it's obvious that you're used to opponents who concentrate on striking you at any cost. Also at fighting multiple opponents."
Akane, for once, shut up and listened. This sounded like it was going somewhere.
"I mean, what would you do if one of them started acting like I did in our sparring match? All of those guys in the morning attack first, putting you on the response. You need to learn how to initiate it, so you don't get pulled into a trap if you ever DO have to."
*Wow.* Yasha was impressed. *You put a lot more thought than usual into this, Ranma. You've learned to think much faster. Congratulations.*
*Well, I try.*
"...." Akane was trying to find something to object to in what he'd said. The problem was, for a boy, he was being very reasonable. And not at all perverted, either... He was just standing there, looking thoughtfully out the window on the other side of the hall.
Satan, on the other hand, was pulling out a snow shovel and cursing.
"Yah!" shouted Ranma, jumping the sudden splash of water towards him. If he were to change here, Yasha might not make it, especially with Kuno right there to see the "demon"....
Akane wasn't quite as fast, and got doused.
Kuno, in his typical hyper-focused state, didn't notice at all.
"What the?" Rhetorically asked Ranma, carefully landing OUT of the water, then got a better look at Kuno. Who was soaked. And Nabiki down the hall with the fire hose, trying to get Kuno's attention. Her buckets were sitting by her feet.
"Nabiki?" Queried Akane, too surprised to get mad at her moistening yet.
"I SHALL NEVER ALLOW YOUR ENGAGEMENT TO AKANE, VILE CUR!!"
Akane had just enough time to mutter "Kuso."
"WHAT?? Engagement?!" "How COULD you, Akane??" "I thought you HATED boys!!" "Wait, which one of you is engaged to Akane?" "I bet it's the new kid! Ramen whats-his-name!"
"That's RANMA, you idi-whoop-"
Ranma was getting annoyed. Would he never be allowed to finish an important sentence around here? And what was it with water around here? Not to mention, how did Kuno slice a metal bucket CLEANLY with a wooden stick? That cut it. He was going to go outside where he could get some room, and teach this nimwit a lesson.
"Stand your ground, coward!" Shouted Kuno, giving chase.
"We can't fight in here with all these people! Follow me!" Yelled Ranma to the lunatic Kendoist.
"I follow eagerly to inflict a thrashing!" Replied Tatewaki.
Ranma spied an open window, and moved to it.
"What are you doing, Ranma?" Asked Nabiki, as he passed her.
*Let's see if he's tough enough to follow me HERE...*
*I wouldn't think so, Ranma... otherwise, he'd have done better against you earlier...*
"Here, let's go this way! It's faster!" Called back Ranma, jumping through the window.
"That I shall!" Stated Kuno, eyes only on Ranma, following him closely.
"Wait!" Shouted Nabiki. She didn't want to marry him, but she didn't exactly like the idea of a dead Ranma smeared across school grounds... "This is the third floor!"
"No sweat, I'm...." Ranma left off as he looked down. "Aw, chikushou."
*Yasha, this is gonna hurt.*
Yasha just braced herself as best she could without physically existing.
Had Ranma looked back up a little, he would have seen Kuno's eyes bug out almost as far at the drop as they had at the whole "Thundering Gay Dirt Oar" thing.
SPLASHHHHHH!!!!!
Yasha had just enough time in control before blacking out to bubble out an underwater "Ow."
******
Akane winced.
"Look!" sait Hiroshi, pointing at the pool. "The Burbling Fruity Muddy Stick is floating to the top!"
Akane winced again, wondering where THAT one came from.
"And what happened to Ranma?"
Akane ran for some hot water.
******
Kuno floated a little higher in the water as Yasha's unconscious form floated up into him, providing enough support to lift him some from buoyancy.
Yasha came to suddenly, almost gasping in a lungful of water, before heaving herself high enough in the water to drag a draught of air. Odd, treading water wasn't usually this difficult.
Oh. A deranged kendoist resting on your head WOULD make it harder. That and feeling like you'd been ironed all down your front.
Then Kuno came to, and she revised her statement to read "A deranged, kendoistic octopus-man."
"RANMA SAOTOME! I FIGHT ON!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Shrieked Yasha, mostly in pain, but some in mortification, and in fear of being found out.
This wasn't very good.
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I have been informed that Yasha, as I described her, resembles the character Inu-Yasha from another of Takahashi-sama's manga. This is not intentional, and not as true as it seems. I beg to remind that when I said Yasha had "pointed ears", I was going more for elf-like than animal-like.
Oh, well.