Author's Note: Some of you have pointed out that it should be the Disclaimer MACH whatever. Let me explain the concept of ridicule...
Another Author's Note: Keep reviewing people! I may be mean and cynical about your advice/flames, but I appreciate every little review I get. Mean and cynical is just who I am. It's probably nothing personal.
Disclaimer Mock III: I NOW OWN TWO CHARACTERS! Well, a character and a fish named Monty. But it's a start! Soon I will have an army of little fan fiction minions, and TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Ooops. Did I say that out loud? Curse it! But no matter. They cannot sue me now, because I have written a DISCLAIMER! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-*cough cough*-ha-ha-ha!
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Brennan was the one who came after me eventually, finding me in a peaceful room filled with water and plants. There were little fish swimming around in the water, and I was on my stomach on a platform above the pool, my chin cushioned by one arm, the other reaching down barely enough to tickle a big-eyed black fish with a gentle fingertip. I felt him sit next to me but did not acknowledge his presence.
The fish, whom I had decided to call Monty, had just decided he liked being tickled and was rubbing against my finger enthusiastically (he was a weird little fish) when he spoke. "You're pretty fast, you know that?"
I made a noise in the back of my throat, not allowing him to shatter my calm by making me move anything but my finger, including my jaw.
"When you ran by, you were practically a blur."
I decided to move. I pushed myself forward slightly so I could reach down with both hands, a strand of my hair falling out of place and touching the water. I gently cupped Monty in both hands for a moment, them let him go to swim away with his friends. I pushed back up and folded both arms under my chin, and Brennan and I shared a companionable silence, listening to the water.
After a minute, I spoke. "Is Emma okay?"
"Yeah," he replied. "She was pretty shaken up, but not from the fall." He fell silent again, frowning down at the water. I waited. He would get to it eventually.
Abruptly, he turned. "She said- There was all this hate inside of you. To feel that kind of anger, it scared her, a little."
I sat up and faced him, hugging my knees as I thought. "She hated me," I said softly, after a moment. "It was her hate that made me change." I frowned. That wasn't fair. "Well, it didn't help. I was changing in ways I didn't understand, practically becoming a whole new person, and she didn't love me anymore."
I tucked my chin down so he wouldn't see the tear that slid down my cheek, but he saw it anyways. Moving slowly, so as not to startle me, he reached out and tilted my chin up to meet his eyes. I looked, and didn't see pity, which would have made me push away. Instead I saw something else- understanding. Acceptance. It threw me off, and I didn't break his gaze like I normally would have. We sat like that for a while, eyes locked, then Brennan moved forward, and I moved to meet him, our lips were almost touching- then I turned my head. He kissed my cheek.
"Sorry, Brennan," I said quietly, pulling back to look into his eyes again. "But I don't think-" I bit my lip. "Its not that I don't want to. Its just- maybe I shouldn't. Not yet. I think I should get a better handle on my powers first." I smiled shakily. "There's lots of different triggers, but once I lose control, all I want to do is kill. And I really don't want to kill you."
He smiled. "I don't want you to kill me either. So I'll make you a deal. If you work really hard on your control, when Adam says you're fit enough, I'll take you on a date. Deal?"
I looked at him suspisiously. "What kind of date?"
"Whatever kind you want."
I thought about it. "You're on."
He grinned. "Good." He leaned forward and kissed my cheek again, then stood up. "C'mon. You have work to do." He offered me a hand and we walked out of the room hand-in-hand. I sighed. I had a lot of work to do.
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"Concentrate!" Adam said, beginning to get frustrated with me. We were in the dojo and Adam was trying to teach me a meditation tecnique to clear my mind and control my heartbeat. We had already been working three hours and I still hadn't gotten it.
Suddenly I rose from my cross-legged position on the floor. "Its the music," I said, as though having an epiphany. I hit 'stop' on the cd player and the Yanni-style music stopped playing, thank God. I slipped into Brennan's room, having found out that Brennan had the most extensive cd collection known to man, and returned with the Nirvana Greatest Hits cd.
"That'll never work," Adam said as I took out the former cd and slipped Nirvana in its place. I set it to play Track 5 over and over and cracked the volume up several notches. Smells Like Teen Spirit blasted out of the Sanctuary-wide speakers and I walked back up to sit in the exact center of the dojo. I put my hands on my knees and breathed in and out to a count of seven, listening to the music.
Slowly my mind emptied until all I thought about was the pounding rhythm of the song that practically invented the mosh pit. Then I slid even deeper until my mind was completely blank: Never had I felt so peaceful. The killing began trying to force itself on my mind. No, I thought, creasing my forehead in concentration. I won't listen you anymore. GO AWAY. Please, I added as an afterthought.
And it did. I was so surprised that I snapped out of my meditation, springing up from the ground. I looked around, practically in panic, until I saw Adam and Emma staring at me. "What happened?" I asked, breathless. Emma reached over to turn off the music without taking her eyes off me, and I repeated the question.
Adam opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. "You got it," he said, sounding so surprised that I had to laugh. And then couldn't stop laughing. I fell over, clutching my sides and rolling around, wheezing in breathless spasms of laughter. I hit a pair of legs and looked up, still giggling.
"What in the world?" Brennan asked, looking down at me with a puzzled frown, which only made me start laughing harder. Holding onto my sides with one arm, I crawled around him to the stairs and sat, trying to get myself under control.
Brennan sounded amused. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked, sounding every bit the exasperated parent.
I managed to stop laughing long enough to reply. "You are going to do nothing with me, thank you very much. If anything is going to be done about me, I will-" I had to stop to let a burst of laughter out. "I will do it myself." I collapsed again, laughing so hard I fell over sideways and rolled down the stairs, stopping at the bottom with a muffled "ow."
Adam helped me up, unable to keep the laughter out of his voice. "Lets do it again," he said, keeping both hands on my shoulders as he lead me back up the stairs I had fallen down, me still giggling quietly. "This time-" He pushed me down. "-try not to amuse yourself so much." I giggled but stopped right away, forcing my features into something I hoped resembled a serious frown.
Adam turned on the music and I heard Brennan say, "Hey! Isn't that my cd?" before I slipped into my meditative trance once more.
_______________________________________
I woke up in the middle of that night, restless, and was about to put on my headphones so I could meditate to my (admittedly loud) music without waking up the others when I heard faint voices coming from the lab. I slid out from under my covers and padded cat-quiet down the hall, my nose catching a distinct smell outside Emma's room, telling me that Jesse was *ahem* visiting. I ignored that and continued to the lab.
I saw Brennan crouched outside the door at the same time he saw me; he raised a finger to his lips in unnecessary warning. I crouched on the other side of the door frame and began listening in on the conversation.
"-seems to be coming along well," I heard Adam say.
"She seemed to be handling her instincts okay," Shalimar added. Brennan and I exchanged a smile.
"That is without any added stimuli," Adam said. "Any sudden, major emotional or hormonal shift could revert whatever delicate balance she's created." I wrinkled my nose, but kept listening.
"You think we should go ahead with combat training?"
Adam sighed. "Yes. Start in the shielded dojo, with Jesse. When she can control herself in those settings, then you spar her, but keep the dojo shielded and have Jesse standing by. When she progresses far enough along, you can unshield the dojo, but make sure Emma is there to subdue her if necessary. We'll go from there." That sounded fun.
There was a pause, then Shalimar said, "What do you think about Jesse and Emma?" Sensing that the conversation about me was over, I stood up and walked back to my room. Brennan followed me in and I shut the door and turned the light on.
"What did she mean about Jesse and Emma?" he asked.
I looked at him in disbelief. "You don't know?" I sat on the desk.
He leaned against my wall and gave me a look. "If I knew, I wouldn't be asking."
I scoffed and shook my head. "Men. So egotistical, yet so clueless." I looked at him seriously. "You better be glad you're so cute, 'cause women sure don't date you for your powers of observation." I dodged the pillow he launched at me with a laugh. "Okay, okay. Since you asked so very nicely." I grinned and sat up straight, delighting in the shock he was about to get. "Jesse and Emma are f*cking in Emma's room at this very-" I stopped and sniffed. "Well, a minute ago, they were."
He simply looked at me. "What?"
"You heard me."
I watched the emotions play across his face and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Finally, he managed to speak again. "Wha- How- Was this the first time?"
"How would I know that?" He looked at me. "All right, all right. I don't know about the sex part of the equation, but I could smell them all over each other earlier." I smiled. "They're a good couple." (AN: THEY ARE. That J/E moment in Kovakistan was the highlight of the season, though if there is more to come then so be it. BRING IT ON, SHOW WRITERS.) Brennan stuttered some more, and I grinned. "You really had no idea, did you?"
He shook his head. "I need to think about this," he said, rubbing his forehead.
I looked at him in mock-worry. "Don't sprain anything." He swatted at me and I dodged gleefully, tickling him on his ribs in retaliation. He grabbed my wrists and held on as I struggled to free them, and somehow I ended up with by body tucked against his. We both froze.
He took a breath. "You're sure you can't-"
"I'm sure." Already I could feel the animal welling up inside.
He let me go and managed a smile. "Good night, Danny." He walked out.
I watched him go. "Good night, Brennan," I whispered, even though he couldn't hear me. I sighed, then threw myself on my bed and put my headphones on, meditating my way into deep slumber.
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Read and review, people. Wait... if you're reading this, then you have already read, which means all you now need to do is review. And don't worry, I start with combat training in the next chapter.
Another Author's Note: Keep reviewing people! I may be mean and cynical about your advice/flames, but I appreciate every little review I get. Mean and cynical is just who I am. It's probably nothing personal.
Disclaimer Mock III: I NOW OWN TWO CHARACTERS! Well, a character and a fish named Monty. But it's a start! Soon I will have an army of little fan fiction minions, and TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Ooops. Did I say that out loud? Curse it! But no matter. They cannot sue me now, because I have written a DISCLAIMER! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-*cough cough*-ha-ha-ha!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Brennan was the one who came after me eventually, finding me in a peaceful room filled with water and plants. There were little fish swimming around in the water, and I was on my stomach on a platform above the pool, my chin cushioned by one arm, the other reaching down barely enough to tickle a big-eyed black fish with a gentle fingertip. I felt him sit next to me but did not acknowledge his presence.
The fish, whom I had decided to call Monty, had just decided he liked being tickled and was rubbing against my finger enthusiastically (he was a weird little fish) when he spoke. "You're pretty fast, you know that?"
I made a noise in the back of my throat, not allowing him to shatter my calm by making me move anything but my finger, including my jaw.
"When you ran by, you were practically a blur."
I decided to move. I pushed myself forward slightly so I could reach down with both hands, a strand of my hair falling out of place and touching the water. I gently cupped Monty in both hands for a moment, them let him go to swim away with his friends. I pushed back up and folded both arms under my chin, and Brennan and I shared a companionable silence, listening to the water.
After a minute, I spoke. "Is Emma okay?"
"Yeah," he replied. "She was pretty shaken up, but not from the fall." He fell silent again, frowning down at the water. I waited. He would get to it eventually.
Abruptly, he turned. "She said- There was all this hate inside of you. To feel that kind of anger, it scared her, a little."
I sat up and faced him, hugging my knees as I thought. "She hated me," I said softly, after a moment. "It was her hate that made me change." I frowned. That wasn't fair. "Well, it didn't help. I was changing in ways I didn't understand, practically becoming a whole new person, and she didn't love me anymore."
I tucked my chin down so he wouldn't see the tear that slid down my cheek, but he saw it anyways. Moving slowly, so as not to startle me, he reached out and tilted my chin up to meet his eyes. I looked, and didn't see pity, which would have made me push away. Instead I saw something else- understanding. Acceptance. It threw me off, and I didn't break his gaze like I normally would have. We sat like that for a while, eyes locked, then Brennan moved forward, and I moved to meet him, our lips were almost touching- then I turned my head. He kissed my cheek.
"Sorry, Brennan," I said quietly, pulling back to look into his eyes again. "But I don't think-" I bit my lip. "Its not that I don't want to. Its just- maybe I shouldn't. Not yet. I think I should get a better handle on my powers first." I smiled shakily. "There's lots of different triggers, but once I lose control, all I want to do is kill. And I really don't want to kill you."
He smiled. "I don't want you to kill me either. So I'll make you a deal. If you work really hard on your control, when Adam says you're fit enough, I'll take you on a date. Deal?"
I looked at him suspisiously. "What kind of date?"
"Whatever kind you want."
I thought about it. "You're on."
He grinned. "Good." He leaned forward and kissed my cheek again, then stood up. "C'mon. You have work to do." He offered me a hand and we walked out of the room hand-in-hand. I sighed. I had a lot of work to do.
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"Concentrate!" Adam said, beginning to get frustrated with me. We were in the dojo and Adam was trying to teach me a meditation tecnique to clear my mind and control my heartbeat. We had already been working three hours and I still hadn't gotten it.
Suddenly I rose from my cross-legged position on the floor. "Its the music," I said, as though having an epiphany. I hit 'stop' on the cd player and the Yanni-style music stopped playing, thank God. I slipped into Brennan's room, having found out that Brennan had the most extensive cd collection known to man, and returned with the Nirvana Greatest Hits cd.
"That'll never work," Adam said as I took out the former cd and slipped Nirvana in its place. I set it to play Track 5 over and over and cracked the volume up several notches. Smells Like Teen Spirit blasted out of the Sanctuary-wide speakers and I walked back up to sit in the exact center of the dojo. I put my hands on my knees and breathed in and out to a count of seven, listening to the music.
Slowly my mind emptied until all I thought about was the pounding rhythm of the song that practically invented the mosh pit. Then I slid even deeper until my mind was completely blank: Never had I felt so peaceful. The killing began trying to force itself on my mind. No, I thought, creasing my forehead in concentration. I won't listen you anymore. GO AWAY. Please, I added as an afterthought.
And it did. I was so surprised that I snapped out of my meditation, springing up from the ground. I looked around, practically in panic, until I saw Adam and Emma staring at me. "What happened?" I asked, breathless. Emma reached over to turn off the music without taking her eyes off me, and I repeated the question.
Adam opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. "You got it," he said, sounding so surprised that I had to laugh. And then couldn't stop laughing. I fell over, clutching my sides and rolling around, wheezing in breathless spasms of laughter. I hit a pair of legs and looked up, still giggling.
"What in the world?" Brennan asked, looking down at me with a puzzled frown, which only made me start laughing harder. Holding onto my sides with one arm, I crawled around him to the stairs and sat, trying to get myself under control.
Brennan sounded amused. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked, sounding every bit the exasperated parent.
I managed to stop laughing long enough to reply. "You are going to do nothing with me, thank you very much. If anything is going to be done about me, I will-" I had to stop to let a burst of laughter out. "I will do it myself." I collapsed again, laughing so hard I fell over sideways and rolled down the stairs, stopping at the bottom with a muffled "ow."
Adam helped me up, unable to keep the laughter out of his voice. "Lets do it again," he said, keeping both hands on my shoulders as he lead me back up the stairs I had fallen down, me still giggling quietly. "This time-" He pushed me down. "-try not to amuse yourself so much." I giggled but stopped right away, forcing my features into something I hoped resembled a serious frown.
Adam turned on the music and I heard Brennan say, "Hey! Isn't that my cd?" before I slipped into my meditative trance once more.
_______________________________________
I woke up in the middle of that night, restless, and was about to put on my headphones so I could meditate to my (admittedly loud) music without waking up the others when I heard faint voices coming from the lab. I slid out from under my covers and padded cat-quiet down the hall, my nose catching a distinct smell outside Emma's room, telling me that Jesse was *ahem* visiting. I ignored that and continued to the lab.
I saw Brennan crouched outside the door at the same time he saw me; he raised a finger to his lips in unnecessary warning. I crouched on the other side of the door frame and began listening in on the conversation.
"-seems to be coming along well," I heard Adam say.
"She seemed to be handling her instincts okay," Shalimar added. Brennan and I exchanged a smile.
"That is without any added stimuli," Adam said. "Any sudden, major emotional or hormonal shift could revert whatever delicate balance she's created." I wrinkled my nose, but kept listening.
"You think we should go ahead with combat training?"
Adam sighed. "Yes. Start in the shielded dojo, with Jesse. When she can control herself in those settings, then you spar her, but keep the dojo shielded and have Jesse standing by. When she progresses far enough along, you can unshield the dojo, but make sure Emma is there to subdue her if necessary. We'll go from there." That sounded fun.
There was a pause, then Shalimar said, "What do you think about Jesse and Emma?" Sensing that the conversation about me was over, I stood up and walked back to my room. Brennan followed me in and I shut the door and turned the light on.
"What did she mean about Jesse and Emma?" he asked.
I looked at him in disbelief. "You don't know?" I sat on the desk.
He leaned against my wall and gave me a look. "If I knew, I wouldn't be asking."
I scoffed and shook my head. "Men. So egotistical, yet so clueless." I looked at him seriously. "You better be glad you're so cute, 'cause women sure don't date you for your powers of observation." I dodged the pillow he launched at me with a laugh. "Okay, okay. Since you asked so very nicely." I grinned and sat up straight, delighting in the shock he was about to get. "Jesse and Emma are f*cking in Emma's room at this very-" I stopped and sniffed. "Well, a minute ago, they were."
He simply looked at me. "What?"
"You heard me."
I watched the emotions play across his face and bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. Finally, he managed to speak again. "Wha- How- Was this the first time?"
"How would I know that?" He looked at me. "All right, all right. I don't know about the sex part of the equation, but I could smell them all over each other earlier." I smiled. "They're a good couple." (AN: THEY ARE. That J/E moment in Kovakistan was the highlight of the season, though if there is more to come then so be it. BRING IT ON, SHOW WRITERS.) Brennan stuttered some more, and I grinned. "You really had no idea, did you?"
He shook his head. "I need to think about this," he said, rubbing his forehead.
I looked at him in mock-worry. "Don't sprain anything." He swatted at me and I dodged gleefully, tickling him on his ribs in retaliation. He grabbed my wrists and held on as I struggled to free them, and somehow I ended up with by body tucked against his. We both froze.
He took a breath. "You're sure you can't-"
"I'm sure." Already I could feel the animal welling up inside.
He let me go and managed a smile. "Good night, Danny." He walked out.
I watched him go. "Good night, Brennan," I whispered, even though he couldn't hear me. I sighed, then threw myself on my bed and put my headphones on, meditating my way into deep slumber.
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Read and review, people. Wait... if you're reading this, then you have already read, which means all you now need to do is review. And don't worry, I start with combat training in the next chapter.