*Four hobbits standing around dressed like the lumberjacks
in the sketch, with Aragorn out the front*
ARAGORN:
I'm a lumberjack...
MERRY:
Hey! I happen to like trees, Strider!
PIPPIN:
Yeah! Can't you cut down something else? Orcs maybe?
ARAGORN:
*muttering* Everyone's a critic! Just because they've spent an entire film
hanging around with Treebeard, they think they're suddenly the experts on
trees.
*singing, glaring at Merry and Pippin*
I'm an Orcjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.
HOBBITS:
He's an orcjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
ARAGORN:
I cut down orcs. I kiss my horse.
I find a track or three.
And often I start thinking
Of the king I'm meant to be!
HOBBITS:
He cuts down orcs. He kissed his horse
He finds a track or three.
And often he starts thinking
Of the king he's meant to be!
He's an orcjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
ARAGORN:
I cut down orcs. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
LEGOLAS:
*poking his head in*
That was you I saw in that bar? And here I was thinking it was Arw....another
person *blushes* Hmmm......Are you doing anything on Friday night, by any
chance?
ARAGORN:
Not now, Legolas....Incidentally, no, I'm free. Carry on, Halflings.
HOBBITS:
*after much whispering and giggling*
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
He's an orcjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
ARAGORN:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.
HOBBITS:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and.... a bra?!
ARWEN:
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!
*flees in tears*
ARAGORN:
*considers following, but just shrugs and motions to the hobbits, who are now
in hysterics, to carry on*
He's an orcjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
He's an orcjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
*curtains close*
SAM:
*rushes in front of the curtain and grabs the microphone*
Hey, I want a go of this!
*sings*
I cut down orcs. I eat my lunch
After breakfast down at Bree.
And sometimes I have crumpets
And buttered scones for tea.
HOBBITS:
Tea!!!!! I knew I'd forgotten something! Quick! we have to get to the kitchen
before Gandalf gets in there!
SAM:
*disappears at the mention of tea as quickly as Bilbo at his birthday party*