Kodora frowned at Kasumi. "Are you sure you want to go back there again?
That Mikado dimwit might be there again."
*You know, Kodora, I STILL can't believe he could think she was that old.*
*I dunno, Ranma. Maybe he's like Tatebaka.*
*Could be.*
Kasumi just smiled sunnily in return. "I'm sure he isn't. And if he is, I'll just stay away from him. I hate to miss out on an opportunity to go skating."
******
"Daddy, you've got to be kidding me. One day was bad enough."
"Only because you weren't used to it. Kasumi-chan deserves time off, don't you think?"
Nabiki was not happy.
"Of course, I agree, but why should I have to do her CHORES while she's at the rink???"
Souun sighed. "Because, Nabiki, even if you don't ever become a traditional Japanese housewife, you may spend some time living alone. And then you'll need to know how to do this sort of thing for yourself, no matter that you plan on having a career. Why, I remember that before I met your mother or... the Master..." Souun paused to shudder, then continued. "That I had to cook for myself for two full years. I even did the cleaning."
"Besides," He finished. "You said that ice skating was a frivolous activity, and you couldn't afford to spend any of your time on something so unnecessary. This IS necessary."
Nabiki groaned. She couldn't believe her father, who until recently had had the world's limpest noodle for a spine, had out-argued her.
"Fine. I'll do it. But no more after this! Got it?"
Souun smiled. "Unless you ask for it." And with that, he left her room.
"Right." Stated Nabiki. "Unless I.... Wait a minute...."
**************************************************************************** *************
Passenger Chapter 29: The Ice, Of Course!
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Selene Starblade Dedicated to Having a Nice Day.
Disclaimer: No. I won't say it. You can figure it out on your own. ::sees lawyers standing behind her:: Then again....
English and some sound effects are in . Japanese is in " ". Chinese is in { }. Jusenkyoo Cursed Signs are in [ ]. Ranma/Kodora mental conversations are in * *.
Note: I have talked to some Chinese people I know, and according to one of them, the correct way to spell the name for which Shampoo is a misnomer is "San Po_". She was unable to provide which letter belongs in the blank. Until I have confirmed the real spellings of the Chinese names, I shall continue as I have been. **************************************************************************** *************
Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High (though he was considering changing it to Earthen Warrior, which was as close as he was willing to get to "Dirty Gay Mud Paddle"), was curious.
Now, some people would argue that the poor sot hadn't enough brain to be curious with. Others would argue that he was too insane to be curious. A few would go so far as to claim that the concept of curiosity was completely beyond him. Now, as many of these people are among my favorite fanfiction authors, I refuse to state that they are always wrong. They would be in this instance, though.
Whichever way it was, Tatewaki Kuno was curious. He had heard many times about this odd custom known as 'ice skating'. When his sister watched the Olympics, he occasionally watched some of it. And he didn't understand it at all.
In other words, no amount of rationalizing that many people were stupid, ignorant, or uncouth could explain the tradition of sticking a couple of knives on your feet and sliding around on a big flat chunk of frozen water.
And now even the Feral Kami was apparently deriving enjoyment from this strange game. Therefore, as loath as he was to admit it, Tatewaki had to believe that he was wrong, and that there was something to it. As he was pondering earlier the morning in question, he had remembered a promise he made to his mother long, long ago. He had promised that he would never scorn something without trying it. It had taken a long time for him to recall the promise, but now that he did...
Which was why he was sitting on a bench with his bokken across his lap, waiting for Sasuke to finish tying his skates on. Then he would go out on the ice and determine for himself if this odd sport was worthwhile. Maybe he would be very good at it. Then he could impress the Feral Kami and perhaps gain some favor from her. He could see it now....
"Oh, my Feral Kami!" He would say, "Watch how graceful and strong I am on the ice!" "Oh, my Earthen Warrior!" She would reply, "You are truely great, to become so skilled in this sport so quickly! Come, and glide across the ice with me!" Then she would continue sweetly, "You are the only man for me! Come, embrace me! Yo, Kuno, howzit going?"
The ersatz kendoist shook his head. "Nani?"
Ranma repeated himself. "I said, 'Howzit going', Kuno."
Tatewaki looked up and saw the Feral Kami in her often-used male form, standing there with Kasumi and his less-beloved-than-the-feral-kami-but- still-wonderful Akane. Behind them stood the tall, thin man known as Souun Tendoo. All of them were wearing ice skates.
******
Saotome Genma was a panda. This was nothing unusual. The reason WHY he was a panda at the moment, however, was.
The bucket he was currently wearing over his head WAS unusual, but only to be expected. As was the fact that Nabiki was standing on him so she could reach high up on the walls.
She really didn't understand how Kasumi had managed to clean these corners, and had just spilled her third bucket of soapy water on Genma.
At least he was a very clean panda at the moment.
******
"I don't see why I hafta." Grumbled Ryooga, as Akane dragged him towards the rink.
"Because once you learn to do it, it's fun! Besides, I can't skate with 'Toosan, because Kasumi's teaching him and Ranma to skate right now!"
"Well..." the Lost Boy delayed, "Why don't you teach Ranma and Kasumi teaches me?"
Akane began to growl a little. "Are you saying you don't think I can teach you?"
Ryooga paled slightly, hoping fervently that a mallet wouldn't be involved with him anytime soon. "No, no, of course not! Fine! I'll go! Really!"
Akane blinked, then shook her head. Ryooga was acting almost like... naaah. Couldn't be. After all, he wasn't acting perverted like the boys at school did. Shrugging, she led him out onto the ice, narrowly missing a caroming Souun.
"Kasumi-chan! Heeeelp!"
Kasumi followed rapidly, a somewhat unsteady Ranma in tow. "'Toosan, just head for the side barrier. You should be fine!"
Souun looked for a steering wheel, a lever, a joystick, SOMETHING....
..and fell over the barrier wall just like the previous day.
"OOF!"
Kasumi slid to an abrupt halt. Ranma, not so fortunate, continued into the wall, inertia ripping his hand free of Kasumi's. He performed an almost perfect duplicate maneuver to Souun's.
"ACK!"
Kasumi sighed, looking at the two pairs of ice skates sticking up over the wall. This wasn't working. "See? I told you, just steer for the edge..."
Souun sat up, peering over the edge of the barrier. "But... I didn't MEAN to do that..."
"Ah, how wonderful that you are here, Tendoo Kasumi! It is excellent to see that you are attempting to instruct your family in the enjoyment of -oof-"
Sasuke popped up out of the middle of the ice, somehow having been camoflauged. "Master, please pay attention to the lessons."
Tatewaki, clinging to the barrier, nodded. "Verily, my aide, I can see that I do require more experience in this unusual sport before I can claim mastery. Let the skating continue!"
And with that, the ersatz kendoist shoved the wall and slid off in a random direction, occasionally using his bokken to steer.
Ranma looked around. "Hey, where'd that short guy go?"
Souun blinked. "How odd. He must have been one of the fabled ninja, to disappear so suddenly from plain view."
Ranma quirked up one eyebrow as he stood up. "Yeah right. You just don't wanna admit you weren't payin' attention to him."
Kasumi just smiled a bit at that, and Souun 'hmph'ed and decided to let it pass.
"Anyways," He began, standing up as well. "I think- ow!"
Kasumi slid to the barrier, and looked at her father, who was clutching his side. "'Toosan! Are you alright?"
Souun, bent over slightly, wheezed a bit. "I'll be... fine, Kasumi. Just a bit of a cramp. You two go on ahead. I'll just take a bit of a break, okay?"
Ranma frowned. "Y' sure about that, Mr. Tendoo? Ya coulda pulled something..."
Souun grinned a bit. "No, just a cramp, son. I'm not exactly young, you know."
*Not exactly old, either. At least he's getting some more exercise now that we're here, ne, Ranma?*
*Un.*
Kasumi nodded. "All right, then. Go ahead and rest as long as you need. I'll just stay here and teach Ranma some more, okay 'Toosan?"
Souun nodded as Ranma clambered over the barrier. Kasumi pulled Ranma a short ways out onto the ice.
"Now," She began, skating slowly backwards as she pulled Ranma along. "Just like with Kodora-chan, I'll pull you along, you just slide along too. Try to find the best way to put your feet, and relax- get used to moving on the ice, okay?"
Souun watched Kasumi and Ranma continue the circuit of the rink until they were about a quarter of the way further around. Glancing to either side, he straightened up and turned to walk towards the rest area, whistling cheerily, until he was interrupted by quiet clapping.
Stopping, the Tendoo patriarch looked around and spotted a tall young woman with deep green hair, wearing some sort of robes, also wearing skates. She was looking straight at him with dusty-jade eyes and applauding quietly, smiling slightly. As he looked at her, she stopped clapping, and calmly walked up to him.
"You are... very skillful at that."
Souun blinked. "What do you mean?"
The strange woman smiled a bit broader. "You aren't fooling me, you know. I saw the whole thing."
Souun grimaced. "It was that obvious? I hope they didn't notice..."
The green-haired lady laughed quietly. "Of course not. One is too busy being the teacher, and the other is far too focused on learning from the teacher. Not that they would have noticed otherwise. I am very... perceptive compared to most people."
Souun nodded, sitting down on a bench to remove his skates. "You have to understand, I'm not trying to force them together or anything. But I have to provide the opportunity- it's a matter of family honor."
A green eyebrow was quirked up. "Oh? Please explain."
Souun eyed the quiet woman for a moment, then shrugged and finished removing his skates. As long as he didn't give any specifics, it would probably be alright. The lady didn't seem too dangerous, anyways. Now, how would Nabiki put it...
"Well," he began , indoor-shoes replaced, as he headed to return the skates. "There was a promise made between two men, my friend and myself. We practice two branches of a martial art, and promised each other that our children would marry, so that the two branches would once again be merged. As it turned out, I wound up with three daughters, and my friend had a son. All of our children are within three years of age from each other, so any way is open and would fulfill family honor." He turned to head to the exit after leaving a note with the man at the counter. To his surprise, he noticed that the lady had not removed her skates, but, strangely, was not wearing them anymore. He quickly shrugged it off as a Nerima thing, however. "Anyways, because of that, I have to leave all things open. I really don't care which of my daughters he marries, so long as the agreement is mutual between them, and neither of them comes out unhappy from it."
The lady nodded as they passed through the doors. "I see. You are handling it quite well, from what I saw. By the way, my name is Sin Ku."
"Sink?"
"No, Sin Ku. Although you may call me that if you prefer, it is easier to say for some."
Souun nodded. "I am Tendoo Souun. It is good to meet you, Sin Ku. Although, I haven't seen you around here before- are you new to Nerima?"
Sin Ku nodded. "I and a few relatives are opening up a hon-ya near Furinkan High- we noticed that there aren't many bookstores in this city."
Souun nodded. "Good luck, and good day." He bowed, then headed for the Tendoo-ke.
Sin Ku smiled as she watched him wander off. "Indeed a good man. The Japanese are such... interesting people. I wonder at his connection to the demon, though."
"But, Miki-channnnnn!"
Mikado, walking by with Azusa, grumbled. "I said, no. You can't have my mother's scarf. You know, there ARE other scarfs out there."
"But Azusa wants her Michelle!!!!"
Sin Ku chuckled as she walked away, thinking to herself.
Interesting people indeed.
Mikado continued towards the ice rink. "Azusa, there ARE lines you should not cross. My parents' antique posessions are among them."
Azusa pouted all the way to the rink.
******
Ranma smiled at Kasumi, who smiled back.
"See?" She said, leading him along, now without using her hands. "I knew you would get it eventually."
Ranma nodded. "You know, Kodora was right- this IS fun!"
Kasumi almost grinned. "Kodora-chan usually is about fun."
*Geez, Oniisan, I'm blushing here. I'm not that good."
Ranma chuckled as he took another turn. "Imootochan doesn't agree with you on that."
Kasumi frowned slightly for a moment, then returned to her normal smile. "Well, this time she's wrong."
Ranma blinked. "Ano- look out, Kasumi! Behind you!"
Kasumi abruptly changed course by ninety degrees, sliding to one side, as Ryooga passed through the space she had occupied a moment ago.
"Aw, cru-"
Ranma was cut off as Ryooga accidentally shoved both of them through the barrier wall, crumbling a small section.
"Ow."
"Hey, Ryooga. Couldja stop sitting on my head?"
Ryooga grimaced. "Sorry, Ranma." He got up, and latched onto the wall before his feet could slide out from under him.
"Oh, my... Are you alright, Ranma, Ryooga?"
Ranma sat up. "I'm fine. Hey, Ryooga, where's Akane? Weren't you with her?" He clambered to his feet, brushing pieces of foam padding and wood off of his clothes.
"I don't know." Answered Ryooga. "She's still on the ice, I think- She was showing me how to turn, and suddenly, I lost control."
Ranma chuckled. "Lost yer way again, huh?"
Ryooga grimaced. "'S not funny."
"Is ta me."
*It is a little funny, Oniisan, but you still shouldn't laugh at 'im.*
*But-*
*It's polite, Ranma, okay?*
*Well.... fine.*
"Sorry, Ryooga. I guess I shouldn'ta laughed at ya."
"Oh, my! Imootochan!"
Ranma and Ryooga immediately traced Kasumi's gaze to the middle of the ice, where some strange man was, for lack of a better word, manhandling Akane. It was a little indistinct at this distance, but it seemed like he was forcing her to bend back. Kasumi, Ranma, and Ryooga all headed for Akane, but long before they could get there, two things happened.
Akane hit Mikado in the face with her fist, and Ryooga hit the ice in the surface with his face. Kasumi stopped to help Ryooga up, while Ranma continued on ahead to Akane, who met him halfway.
"Hey, what gives, Akane? What was that all about?"
Akane growled. "Pervert. Damned pervert was trying to kiss me. Guess I showed him."
"Young lady!"
"Maybe ya didn't, Akane- here he comes."
"Young lady, please allow me to tender unto you my greeting! I am merely trying to be sociable..."
"Oh, my, trying to kiss someone you don't know? I'm afraid that's rather rude..."
Mikado took a moment to think. "Very well then, miss, what is your name?"
Kasumi blinked. "Ano.... Tendoo Kasumi."
Mikado nodded, immediately sweeping in, seeing that he had a chance to add a kiss to his roster and make an apology at the same time. "Very well then, miss, my name is Sanzenin Mikado. Please take this as an apology for my assumption yesterday."
Everyone stood stunned as he leaned in to try and kiss Kasumi.
Only to be stopped by Azusa, who slid in from the side, taking his legs out from under him. Kasumi began to blush slightly, and everyone else just stared as the two slid along the ice to stop, amazingly, in standing positions. Kasumi belatedly turned her attention to the two skaters not from her group.
"Miki-chan has no time to chase after frumpy old women. It's time to practice!"
Kasumi blinked.
Akane fumed. "Frumpy?? OLD??? Why, you-" She had begun to advance on the two 'professionals, but was stopped by Ranma's hand in the way.
Ranma's glowing hand.
Ranma glared at Azusa. "Excuse me." He said in a voice colder than the ice he stood on. "Did you just call Kasumi a frumpy old woman?"
Azusa blinked, and thought a moment. "Yes. Why? Did Azusa-chan stutter or mumble?"
If looks were weapons, Azusa would have been nuked.
Ranma left his glare on her for a moment. "Excuse me, I'll be right back. Stay RIGHT THERE."
Ranma turned to Kasumi, surprised to notice a gloomy air settled around the older girl. He looked to Akane, gesturing her towards Kasumi. Then he turned and, in dead silence, left the ice, in the direction of the skate- rental area. Specifically heading towards a vending machine.
Azusa snorted. "As if Azusa needs to listen to horrible-skating boy." Then she noticed Ryoga. "Oh, YOU're here."
Ryooga growled at Azusa, while Akane stood quietly talking to Kasumi, wondering what Ranma was up to.
Mikado gave Ryooga a cursory glance, and began to chuckle.
Ryooga turned to Mikado. "What are YOU laughing at?!"
"Heh- you don't belong out here, boy." Stated Mikado, sneering at the shorter, stockier boy. "You've got the balance of a bloated elephant. You're a disgrace to the ice. Get out of my rink."
Ryooga snarled. "It's not YOUR rink, you lecher. I'll skate where I want to."
"Hah! You call that skating?!? You couldn't ROLLER skate!"
"Oh, yeah, girly-boy??"
"What did you call me?"
"I called you girly. You gotta PROBLEM with that??"
Mikado skated up to Ryooga, and poked him in the chest. "I'll have you know that fine features like those of the Sanzenin family are the epitome of manliness!"
Ryooga snorted. "Makes ya look like a crossdresser if ya ask me."
"Well, at least I'm not a half-Oni brat!"
Ryooga suddenly went quiet. "Excuse me," he said very softly, and politely. "What did you just call me?"
Mikado sneered again. "You heard me, halfbreed. I can see your fangs."
Ryooga cleared his throat. "Mikado Sanzenin...."
Suddenly, he lunged at the other boy. "PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Unfortunately, he had forgotten he was on the ice. Mikado easily slid out of the way, while Ryoga flopped on the ground from his sudden movement.
"Hmph." Stated Mikado. "You haven't a clue what you're doing, do you?"
Ryoga clambered up to a cross-legged sitting position, and reached down to his ice skates. With a pair of metallic screeches, he removed the blades, leaving the two supports on the bottom of either shoe. As he stood up, he stabbed them into the ice, holding himself steady.
Mikado blinked. Then he frowned. "You have damaged my sacred ice rink. You will pay for this."
With a growl, Ryoga launched himself at Mikado. "IT AIN'T YOUR FREAKING RINK, PRETTY-BOY!!!!"
Mikado slid to the side again, but Ryoga flung a foot wide as he spun to land, catching the taller boy in the shoulder.
Sliding away some, Mikado rubbed his shoulder, turning a lazy arc back towards the lost boy. "That was a mistake, boy. You'll pay now."
And with that, he suddenly accelerated, dashing for Ryoga.
Azusa, still standing to the side, began cheering. "Go, Miki! You can take him!"
Meanwhile, most of the other people had cleared out of the rink.
"Akane-san, what is going on here? 'Twould seem that your friend is assaulting another skater..."
Akane grimaced. "That 'other skater' is some creep named Sanzenin. He's insulting, and a pervert. He tried to kiss me, and then he had the nerve to have a go at Kasumi!"
Tatewaki Kuno blinked, and turned to watch Mikado and Ryooga go at it.
Although, as the case was, it was more a matter of Mikado going at it. Ryooga was having serious trouble- his makeshift pitons were slowing him down almost as much as falling would, and although the lost boy was tough, he simply wasn't giving anywhere near as good as he got- it was obvious this was a losing fight for him.
Noting this, Kuno slid out towards the fight, interposing his bokken. "HOLD!"
He turned to Mikado, pointing his bokken. "Vile miscreant, I shall smite thee! I do hereby challenge -oof-" Broke off Kuno, sent flying by Ryooga's casual backhand.
"Outta the way, moron!" Shouted Ryooga, going in for an all out charge against Mikado.
Which failed when he tripped, fell on his face, and slid into the sidewall.
Mikado harrumphed. "Give up now, halfbreed. You'll never beat me."
Azusa cheered. "Go Miki Go! You're the best!"
Someone tapped her on the shoulder.
"What do you.... want???"
Everyone nearby turned as they finally noticed a distinct blue glow. Standing behind Azusa was an enraged Kodora. The red irises of her eyes were almost crystalline-hard, and her tail was lashing wildly. Her anger was not the least impaired by the red-and-black chinese clothing she was swamped in. Her quills actually helped the effect, unbound and sticking out in all directions like the result of an exploded porcupine.
Ryooga sat up against the wall he'd slid into, and watched dazedly.
Kasumi continued to stand there gloomily.
Akane watched, waiting for the inevitable explosion.
Mikado looked on in surprise at the diminutive girl, who was even shorter than his skating partner. He suffered a momentary flashback of the day before when that 'Kasumi Tendoo' girl had been with the short girl.
And he realized that this girl was seriously pissed off about what her sister had been called. Maybe he should help his partner out here?
Azusa 'eep'ed and started sliding backwards rapidly, aiming to get away from the fanged girl.
No such luck. Kodora hopped slightly, digging the serrated toes of her ice skate blades into the ice on her landing, and then launched herself into the air, aimed perfectly.
Unfortunately, as anyone can tell you, time does not stop while people are in midair, and so Kodora crashed down facefirst into the ice considerably behind the other girl, who had zagged out of the way.
Akane blinked. "She did that with her face??? Doesn't that hurt??"
Indeed it had. Kodora slowly sat up in the middle of a small crater full of broken ice, looking very dazed. Her face was all red, and her nose was bloody, perhaps broken.
"Ow." She opined. Then- "I don't think I got that right...." Which she followed by passing out.
Akane winced, and began looking for hot water.
Ryooga, on hands and knees, handed her a thermos.
Akane piku-pikued.
"Emergency supply." He offered. Then he turned to go after Mikado again. While Azusa was distracted again with the fight, Akane took the opportunity to pour the water over Ranma, who jumped up before it could freeze his clothes to the ground.
"Thags, Agade."
Ranma winced, and reached up to his nose, which looked a little... twisted. Putting both hands over it, he moved his hands slightly.
grnnch
Akane looked a little queasy. Ranma sniffed, dropped his hands, and looked at her. "Why's Ryooga going after Mikadope?"
"Um... Sanzenin was insulting him, calling him half-Oni and all..."
Ryooga flew into the small crater, landing with a slight crunch of breaking ice. He tried to get up again. "Dammit! I said, take it BACK!!!"
Ranma put his hand on Ryooga's shoulder. "Hold on, Ryooga."
Ryooga glared up at Ranma. "No way! He called me-"
Ranma nodded. "I know. But it's obvious you can't take him right now. I have an idea."
Ryooga frowned. "What is it?"
Ranma leaned over and began whispering to Ryooga.
Mikado, still wary, headed directly for Kasumi again.
"Where were we?"
Kasumi didn't answer, still looking depressed.
"Ah, yes. An apology, I believe. Here, let me..." Mikado lifted her head slightly, leaning in towards her.
SMAKK
Akane froze, blinking, hand still pulled back in preparation to slap the pervert silly. Kasumi froze, right arm crossed over her body. Mikado just spun in place from the blow for a little bit.
Akane's jaw worked slowly, but no words were coming out.
Mikado finally stopped spinning, looking a little dizzy.
Ranma skated up to Kasumi, while Azusa skated up to Mikado.
Ranma fixed a steady glare on Mikado, who was still steadying himself.
Akane continued to stare at Kasumi, jaw still going for a moment before the gears on her voicebox caught.
"Kasumi.... hit someone??????"
"You." Stated Ranma, aiming the word at Mikado. The taller boy looked over at him. "What is it YOU want??"
Ranma continued to glare. "You have insulted my friend AND you have tried to kiss unwilling girls who are also my friends several times today. It's obvious you know how to fight. I challenge you."
**************************************************************************** *************
Waha. And things get moving again.
Someone mentioned something about chapter lengths... Sorry, I just write a chapter until I'm done writing for a while, then cut off at an appropriate spot and say "chapter break here". Lengths are totally up to how much writing I feel like doing at the time. Sorry to bother you with bad cut- off-points.
As for the Interlude- sorry about the 'stats' thing, when I typed it out on my computer, it came out as a table, not a paragraph...
I swear. It's annoying, you know? FF.Net seems to remove my italics and bold, does strange things to indentation and lines that aren't double- spaced, and on top of that, whenever I try to put three periods to indicate a pause, it comes out as one.
I guess maybe I should start using Word 6.0 instead of WordPad, but still... annoying.
Anyways.
Now Sin Ku has met Souun Tendoo. Nabiki's learning to keep house, and Ranma and Kodora are learning to skate. Kasumi's hit someone, Kuno's skating, and Souun has a plan.
All SORTS of wonderful things going on.
Like the little surprise at the end?
Betcha thought Kodora was gonna be in the Skating Match.
Well, she still might be.
Just, not in Ranma's place. She's not there to replace Ranma. More like to supplement him.
Anyways, next chapter when next chapter.
Ja ne!
"When the gorilla playfully grabbed the wurm's tail, the wurm doubled back and playfully ate the gorilla's head." -Flavor text, Yavimaya Wurm, Magic: The Gathering
*You know, Kodora, I STILL can't believe he could think she was that old.*
*I dunno, Ranma. Maybe he's like Tatebaka.*
*Could be.*
Kasumi just smiled sunnily in return. "I'm sure he isn't. And if he is, I'll just stay away from him. I hate to miss out on an opportunity to go skating."
******
"Daddy, you've got to be kidding me. One day was bad enough."
"Only because you weren't used to it. Kasumi-chan deserves time off, don't you think?"
Nabiki was not happy.
"Of course, I agree, but why should I have to do her CHORES while she's at the rink???"
Souun sighed. "Because, Nabiki, even if you don't ever become a traditional Japanese housewife, you may spend some time living alone. And then you'll need to know how to do this sort of thing for yourself, no matter that you plan on having a career. Why, I remember that before I met your mother or... the Master..." Souun paused to shudder, then continued. "That I had to cook for myself for two full years. I even did the cleaning."
"Besides," He finished. "You said that ice skating was a frivolous activity, and you couldn't afford to spend any of your time on something so unnecessary. This IS necessary."
Nabiki groaned. She couldn't believe her father, who until recently had had the world's limpest noodle for a spine, had out-argued her.
"Fine. I'll do it. But no more after this! Got it?"
Souun smiled. "Unless you ask for it." And with that, he left her room.
"Right." Stated Nabiki. "Unless I.... Wait a minute...."
**************************************************************************** *************
Passenger Chapter 29: The Ice, Of Course!
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Selene Starblade Dedicated to Having a Nice Day.
Disclaimer: No. I won't say it. You can figure it out on your own. ::sees lawyers standing behind her:: Then again....
English and some sound effects are in . Japanese is in " ". Chinese is in { }. Jusenkyoo Cursed Signs are in [ ]. Ranma/Kodora mental conversations are in * *.
Note: I have talked to some Chinese people I know, and according to one of them, the correct way to spell the name for which Shampoo is a misnomer is "San Po_". She was unable to provide which letter belongs in the blank. Until I have confirmed the real spellings of the Chinese names, I shall continue as I have been. **************************************************************************** *************
Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High (though he was considering changing it to Earthen Warrior, which was as close as he was willing to get to "Dirty Gay Mud Paddle"), was curious.
Now, some people would argue that the poor sot hadn't enough brain to be curious with. Others would argue that he was too insane to be curious. A few would go so far as to claim that the concept of curiosity was completely beyond him. Now, as many of these people are among my favorite fanfiction authors, I refuse to state that they are always wrong. They would be in this instance, though.
Whichever way it was, Tatewaki Kuno was curious. He had heard many times about this odd custom known as 'ice skating'. When his sister watched the Olympics, he occasionally watched some of it. And he didn't understand it at all.
In other words, no amount of rationalizing that many people were stupid, ignorant, or uncouth could explain the tradition of sticking a couple of knives on your feet and sliding around on a big flat chunk of frozen water.
And now even the Feral Kami was apparently deriving enjoyment from this strange game. Therefore, as loath as he was to admit it, Tatewaki had to believe that he was wrong, and that there was something to it. As he was pondering earlier the morning in question, he had remembered a promise he made to his mother long, long ago. He had promised that he would never scorn something without trying it. It had taken a long time for him to recall the promise, but now that he did...
Which was why he was sitting on a bench with his bokken across his lap, waiting for Sasuke to finish tying his skates on. Then he would go out on the ice and determine for himself if this odd sport was worthwhile. Maybe he would be very good at it. Then he could impress the Feral Kami and perhaps gain some favor from her. He could see it now....
"Oh, my Feral Kami!" He would say, "Watch how graceful and strong I am on the ice!" "Oh, my Earthen Warrior!" She would reply, "You are truely great, to become so skilled in this sport so quickly! Come, and glide across the ice with me!" Then she would continue sweetly, "You are the only man for me! Come, embrace me! Yo, Kuno, howzit going?"
The ersatz kendoist shook his head. "Nani?"
Ranma repeated himself. "I said, 'Howzit going', Kuno."
Tatewaki looked up and saw the Feral Kami in her often-used male form, standing there with Kasumi and his less-beloved-than-the-feral-kami-but- still-wonderful Akane. Behind them stood the tall, thin man known as Souun Tendoo. All of them were wearing ice skates.
******
Saotome Genma was a panda. This was nothing unusual. The reason WHY he was a panda at the moment, however, was.
The bucket he was currently wearing over his head WAS unusual, but only to be expected. As was the fact that Nabiki was standing on him so she could reach high up on the walls.
She really didn't understand how Kasumi had managed to clean these corners, and had just spilled her third bucket of soapy water on Genma.
At least he was a very clean panda at the moment.
******
"I don't see why I hafta." Grumbled Ryooga, as Akane dragged him towards the rink.
"Because once you learn to do it, it's fun! Besides, I can't skate with 'Toosan, because Kasumi's teaching him and Ranma to skate right now!"
"Well..." the Lost Boy delayed, "Why don't you teach Ranma and Kasumi teaches me?"
Akane began to growl a little. "Are you saying you don't think I can teach you?"
Ryooga paled slightly, hoping fervently that a mallet wouldn't be involved with him anytime soon. "No, no, of course not! Fine! I'll go! Really!"
Akane blinked, then shook her head. Ryooga was acting almost like... naaah. Couldn't be. After all, he wasn't acting perverted like the boys at school did. Shrugging, she led him out onto the ice, narrowly missing a caroming Souun.
"Kasumi-chan! Heeeelp!"
Kasumi followed rapidly, a somewhat unsteady Ranma in tow. "'Toosan, just head for the side barrier. You should be fine!"
Souun looked for a steering wheel, a lever, a joystick, SOMETHING....
..and fell over the barrier wall just like the previous day.
"OOF!"
Kasumi slid to an abrupt halt. Ranma, not so fortunate, continued into the wall, inertia ripping his hand free of Kasumi's. He performed an almost perfect duplicate maneuver to Souun's.
"ACK!"
Kasumi sighed, looking at the two pairs of ice skates sticking up over the wall. This wasn't working. "See? I told you, just steer for the edge..."
Souun sat up, peering over the edge of the barrier. "But... I didn't MEAN to do that..."
"Ah, how wonderful that you are here, Tendoo Kasumi! It is excellent to see that you are attempting to instruct your family in the enjoyment of -oof-"
Sasuke popped up out of the middle of the ice, somehow having been camoflauged. "Master, please pay attention to the lessons."
Tatewaki, clinging to the barrier, nodded. "Verily, my aide, I can see that I do require more experience in this unusual sport before I can claim mastery. Let the skating continue!"
And with that, the ersatz kendoist shoved the wall and slid off in a random direction, occasionally using his bokken to steer.
Ranma looked around. "Hey, where'd that short guy go?"
Souun blinked. "How odd. He must have been one of the fabled ninja, to disappear so suddenly from plain view."
Ranma quirked up one eyebrow as he stood up. "Yeah right. You just don't wanna admit you weren't payin' attention to him."
Kasumi just smiled a bit at that, and Souun 'hmph'ed and decided to let it pass.
"Anyways," He began, standing up as well. "I think- ow!"
Kasumi slid to the barrier, and looked at her father, who was clutching his side. "'Toosan! Are you alright?"
Souun, bent over slightly, wheezed a bit. "I'll be... fine, Kasumi. Just a bit of a cramp. You two go on ahead. I'll just take a bit of a break, okay?"
Ranma frowned. "Y' sure about that, Mr. Tendoo? Ya coulda pulled something..."
Souun grinned a bit. "No, just a cramp, son. I'm not exactly young, you know."
*Not exactly old, either. At least he's getting some more exercise now that we're here, ne, Ranma?*
*Un.*
Kasumi nodded. "All right, then. Go ahead and rest as long as you need. I'll just stay here and teach Ranma some more, okay 'Toosan?"
Souun nodded as Ranma clambered over the barrier. Kasumi pulled Ranma a short ways out onto the ice.
"Now," She began, skating slowly backwards as she pulled Ranma along. "Just like with Kodora-chan, I'll pull you along, you just slide along too. Try to find the best way to put your feet, and relax- get used to moving on the ice, okay?"
Souun watched Kasumi and Ranma continue the circuit of the rink until they were about a quarter of the way further around. Glancing to either side, he straightened up and turned to walk towards the rest area, whistling cheerily, until he was interrupted by quiet clapping.
Stopping, the Tendoo patriarch looked around and spotted a tall young woman with deep green hair, wearing some sort of robes, also wearing skates. She was looking straight at him with dusty-jade eyes and applauding quietly, smiling slightly. As he looked at her, she stopped clapping, and calmly walked up to him.
"You are... very skillful at that."
Souun blinked. "What do you mean?"
The strange woman smiled a bit broader. "You aren't fooling me, you know. I saw the whole thing."
Souun grimaced. "It was that obvious? I hope they didn't notice..."
The green-haired lady laughed quietly. "Of course not. One is too busy being the teacher, and the other is far too focused on learning from the teacher. Not that they would have noticed otherwise. I am very... perceptive compared to most people."
Souun nodded, sitting down on a bench to remove his skates. "You have to understand, I'm not trying to force them together or anything. But I have to provide the opportunity- it's a matter of family honor."
A green eyebrow was quirked up. "Oh? Please explain."
Souun eyed the quiet woman for a moment, then shrugged and finished removing his skates. As long as he didn't give any specifics, it would probably be alright. The lady didn't seem too dangerous, anyways. Now, how would Nabiki put it...
"Well," he began , indoor-shoes replaced, as he headed to return the skates. "There was a promise made between two men, my friend and myself. We practice two branches of a martial art, and promised each other that our children would marry, so that the two branches would once again be merged. As it turned out, I wound up with three daughters, and my friend had a son. All of our children are within three years of age from each other, so any way is open and would fulfill family honor." He turned to head to the exit after leaving a note with the man at the counter. To his surprise, he noticed that the lady had not removed her skates, but, strangely, was not wearing them anymore. He quickly shrugged it off as a Nerima thing, however. "Anyways, because of that, I have to leave all things open. I really don't care which of my daughters he marries, so long as the agreement is mutual between them, and neither of them comes out unhappy from it."
The lady nodded as they passed through the doors. "I see. You are handling it quite well, from what I saw. By the way, my name is Sin Ku."
"Sink?"
"No, Sin Ku. Although you may call me that if you prefer, it is easier to say for some."
Souun nodded. "I am Tendoo Souun. It is good to meet you, Sin Ku. Although, I haven't seen you around here before- are you new to Nerima?"
Sin Ku nodded. "I and a few relatives are opening up a hon-ya near Furinkan High- we noticed that there aren't many bookstores in this city."
Souun nodded. "Good luck, and good day." He bowed, then headed for the Tendoo-ke.
Sin Ku smiled as she watched him wander off. "Indeed a good man. The Japanese are such... interesting people. I wonder at his connection to the demon, though."
"But, Miki-channnnnn!"
Mikado, walking by with Azusa, grumbled. "I said, no. You can't have my mother's scarf. You know, there ARE other scarfs out there."
"But Azusa wants her Michelle!!!!"
Sin Ku chuckled as she walked away, thinking to herself.
Interesting people indeed.
Mikado continued towards the ice rink. "Azusa, there ARE lines you should not cross. My parents' antique posessions are among them."
Azusa pouted all the way to the rink.
******
Ranma smiled at Kasumi, who smiled back.
"See?" She said, leading him along, now without using her hands. "I knew you would get it eventually."
Ranma nodded. "You know, Kodora was right- this IS fun!"
Kasumi almost grinned. "Kodora-chan usually is about fun."
*Geez, Oniisan, I'm blushing here. I'm not that good."
Ranma chuckled as he took another turn. "Imootochan doesn't agree with you on that."
Kasumi frowned slightly for a moment, then returned to her normal smile. "Well, this time she's wrong."
Ranma blinked. "Ano- look out, Kasumi! Behind you!"
Kasumi abruptly changed course by ninety degrees, sliding to one side, as Ryooga passed through the space she had occupied a moment ago.
"Aw, cru-"
Ranma was cut off as Ryooga accidentally shoved both of them through the barrier wall, crumbling a small section.
"Ow."
"Hey, Ryooga. Couldja stop sitting on my head?"
Ryooga grimaced. "Sorry, Ranma." He got up, and latched onto the wall before his feet could slide out from under him.
"Oh, my... Are you alright, Ranma, Ryooga?"
Ranma sat up. "I'm fine. Hey, Ryooga, where's Akane? Weren't you with her?" He clambered to his feet, brushing pieces of foam padding and wood off of his clothes.
"I don't know." Answered Ryooga. "She's still on the ice, I think- She was showing me how to turn, and suddenly, I lost control."
Ranma chuckled. "Lost yer way again, huh?"
Ryooga grimaced. "'S not funny."
"Is ta me."
*It is a little funny, Oniisan, but you still shouldn't laugh at 'im.*
*But-*
*It's polite, Ranma, okay?*
*Well.... fine.*
"Sorry, Ryooga. I guess I shouldn'ta laughed at ya."
"Oh, my! Imootochan!"
Ranma and Ryooga immediately traced Kasumi's gaze to the middle of the ice, where some strange man was, for lack of a better word, manhandling Akane. It was a little indistinct at this distance, but it seemed like he was forcing her to bend back. Kasumi, Ranma, and Ryooga all headed for Akane, but long before they could get there, two things happened.
Akane hit Mikado in the face with her fist, and Ryooga hit the ice in the surface with his face. Kasumi stopped to help Ryooga up, while Ranma continued on ahead to Akane, who met him halfway.
"Hey, what gives, Akane? What was that all about?"
Akane growled. "Pervert. Damned pervert was trying to kiss me. Guess I showed him."
"Young lady!"
"Maybe ya didn't, Akane- here he comes."
"Young lady, please allow me to tender unto you my greeting! I am merely trying to be sociable..."
"Oh, my, trying to kiss someone you don't know? I'm afraid that's rather rude..."
Mikado took a moment to think. "Very well then, miss, what is your name?"
Kasumi blinked. "Ano.... Tendoo Kasumi."
Mikado nodded, immediately sweeping in, seeing that he had a chance to add a kiss to his roster and make an apology at the same time. "Very well then, miss, my name is Sanzenin Mikado. Please take this as an apology for my assumption yesterday."
Everyone stood stunned as he leaned in to try and kiss Kasumi.
Only to be stopped by Azusa, who slid in from the side, taking his legs out from under him. Kasumi began to blush slightly, and everyone else just stared as the two slid along the ice to stop, amazingly, in standing positions. Kasumi belatedly turned her attention to the two skaters not from her group.
"Miki-chan has no time to chase after frumpy old women. It's time to practice!"
Kasumi blinked.
Akane fumed. "Frumpy?? OLD??? Why, you-" She had begun to advance on the two 'professionals, but was stopped by Ranma's hand in the way.
Ranma's glowing hand.
Ranma glared at Azusa. "Excuse me." He said in a voice colder than the ice he stood on. "Did you just call Kasumi a frumpy old woman?"
Azusa blinked, and thought a moment. "Yes. Why? Did Azusa-chan stutter or mumble?"
If looks were weapons, Azusa would have been nuked.
Ranma left his glare on her for a moment. "Excuse me, I'll be right back. Stay RIGHT THERE."
Ranma turned to Kasumi, surprised to notice a gloomy air settled around the older girl. He looked to Akane, gesturing her towards Kasumi. Then he turned and, in dead silence, left the ice, in the direction of the skate- rental area. Specifically heading towards a vending machine.
Azusa snorted. "As if Azusa needs to listen to horrible-skating boy." Then she noticed Ryoga. "Oh, YOU're here."
Ryooga growled at Azusa, while Akane stood quietly talking to Kasumi, wondering what Ranma was up to.
Mikado gave Ryooga a cursory glance, and began to chuckle.
Ryooga turned to Mikado. "What are YOU laughing at?!"
"Heh- you don't belong out here, boy." Stated Mikado, sneering at the shorter, stockier boy. "You've got the balance of a bloated elephant. You're a disgrace to the ice. Get out of my rink."
Ryooga snarled. "It's not YOUR rink, you lecher. I'll skate where I want to."
"Hah! You call that skating?!? You couldn't ROLLER skate!"
"Oh, yeah, girly-boy??"
"What did you call me?"
"I called you girly. You gotta PROBLEM with that??"
Mikado skated up to Ryooga, and poked him in the chest. "I'll have you know that fine features like those of the Sanzenin family are the epitome of manliness!"
Ryooga snorted. "Makes ya look like a crossdresser if ya ask me."
"Well, at least I'm not a half-Oni brat!"
Ryooga suddenly went quiet. "Excuse me," he said very softly, and politely. "What did you just call me?"
Mikado sneered again. "You heard me, halfbreed. I can see your fangs."
Ryooga cleared his throat. "Mikado Sanzenin...."
Suddenly, he lunged at the other boy. "PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Unfortunately, he had forgotten he was on the ice. Mikado easily slid out of the way, while Ryoga flopped on the ground from his sudden movement.
"Hmph." Stated Mikado. "You haven't a clue what you're doing, do you?"
Ryoga clambered up to a cross-legged sitting position, and reached down to his ice skates. With a pair of metallic screeches, he removed the blades, leaving the two supports on the bottom of either shoe. As he stood up, he stabbed them into the ice, holding himself steady.
Mikado blinked. Then he frowned. "You have damaged my sacred ice rink. You will pay for this."
With a growl, Ryoga launched himself at Mikado. "IT AIN'T YOUR FREAKING RINK, PRETTY-BOY!!!!"
Mikado slid to the side again, but Ryoga flung a foot wide as he spun to land, catching the taller boy in the shoulder.
Sliding away some, Mikado rubbed his shoulder, turning a lazy arc back towards the lost boy. "That was a mistake, boy. You'll pay now."
And with that, he suddenly accelerated, dashing for Ryoga.
Azusa, still standing to the side, began cheering. "Go, Miki! You can take him!"
Meanwhile, most of the other people had cleared out of the rink.
"Akane-san, what is going on here? 'Twould seem that your friend is assaulting another skater..."
Akane grimaced. "That 'other skater' is some creep named Sanzenin. He's insulting, and a pervert. He tried to kiss me, and then he had the nerve to have a go at Kasumi!"
Tatewaki Kuno blinked, and turned to watch Mikado and Ryooga go at it.
Although, as the case was, it was more a matter of Mikado going at it. Ryooga was having serious trouble- his makeshift pitons were slowing him down almost as much as falling would, and although the lost boy was tough, he simply wasn't giving anywhere near as good as he got- it was obvious this was a losing fight for him.
Noting this, Kuno slid out towards the fight, interposing his bokken. "HOLD!"
He turned to Mikado, pointing his bokken. "Vile miscreant, I shall smite thee! I do hereby challenge -oof-" Broke off Kuno, sent flying by Ryooga's casual backhand.
"Outta the way, moron!" Shouted Ryooga, going in for an all out charge against Mikado.
Which failed when he tripped, fell on his face, and slid into the sidewall.
Mikado harrumphed. "Give up now, halfbreed. You'll never beat me."
Azusa cheered. "Go Miki Go! You're the best!"
Someone tapped her on the shoulder.
"What do you.... want???"
Everyone nearby turned as they finally noticed a distinct blue glow. Standing behind Azusa was an enraged Kodora. The red irises of her eyes were almost crystalline-hard, and her tail was lashing wildly. Her anger was not the least impaired by the red-and-black chinese clothing she was swamped in. Her quills actually helped the effect, unbound and sticking out in all directions like the result of an exploded porcupine.
Ryooga sat up against the wall he'd slid into, and watched dazedly.
Kasumi continued to stand there gloomily.
Akane watched, waiting for the inevitable explosion.
Mikado looked on in surprise at the diminutive girl, who was even shorter than his skating partner. He suffered a momentary flashback of the day before when that 'Kasumi Tendoo' girl had been with the short girl.
And he realized that this girl was seriously pissed off about what her sister had been called. Maybe he should help his partner out here?
Azusa 'eep'ed and started sliding backwards rapidly, aiming to get away from the fanged girl.
No such luck. Kodora hopped slightly, digging the serrated toes of her ice skate blades into the ice on her landing, and then launched herself into the air, aimed perfectly.
Unfortunately, as anyone can tell you, time does not stop while people are in midair, and so Kodora crashed down facefirst into the ice considerably behind the other girl, who had zagged out of the way.
Akane blinked. "She did that with her face??? Doesn't that hurt??"
Indeed it had. Kodora slowly sat up in the middle of a small crater full of broken ice, looking very dazed. Her face was all red, and her nose was bloody, perhaps broken.
"Ow." She opined. Then- "I don't think I got that right...." Which she followed by passing out.
Akane winced, and began looking for hot water.
Ryooga, on hands and knees, handed her a thermos.
Akane piku-pikued.
"Emergency supply." He offered. Then he turned to go after Mikado again. While Azusa was distracted again with the fight, Akane took the opportunity to pour the water over Ranma, who jumped up before it could freeze his clothes to the ground.
"Thags, Agade."
Ranma winced, and reached up to his nose, which looked a little... twisted. Putting both hands over it, he moved his hands slightly.
grnnch
Akane looked a little queasy. Ranma sniffed, dropped his hands, and looked at her. "Why's Ryooga going after Mikadope?"
"Um... Sanzenin was insulting him, calling him half-Oni and all..."
Ryooga flew into the small crater, landing with a slight crunch of breaking ice. He tried to get up again. "Dammit! I said, take it BACK!!!"
Ranma put his hand on Ryooga's shoulder. "Hold on, Ryooga."
Ryooga glared up at Ranma. "No way! He called me-"
Ranma nodded. "I know. But it's obvious you can't take him right now. I have an idea."
Ryooga frowned. "What is it?"
Ranma leaned over and began whispering to Ryooga.
Mikado, still wary, headed directly for Kasumi again.
"Where were we?"
Kasumi didn't answer, still looking depressed.
"Ah, yes. An apology, I believe. Here, let me..." Mikado lifted her head slightly, leaning in towards her.
SMAKK
Akane froze, blinking, hand still pulled back in preparation to slap the pervert silly. Kasumi froze, right arm crossed over her body. Mikado just spun in place from the blow for a little bit.
Akane's jaw worked slowly, but no words were coming out.
Mikado finally stopped spinning, looking a little dizzy.
Ranma skated up to Kasumi, while Azusa skated up to Mikado.
Ranma fixed a steady glare on Mikado, who was still steadying himself.
Akane continued to stare at Kasumi, jaw still going for a moment before the gears on her voicebox caught.
"Kasumi.... hit someone??????"
"You." Stated Ranma, aiming the word at Mikado. The taller boy looked over at him. "What is it YOU want??"
Ranma continued to glare. "You have insulted my friend AND you have tried to kiss unwilling girls who are also my friends several times today. It's obvious you know how to fight. I challenge you."
**************************************************************************** *************
Waha. And things get moving again.
Someone mentioned something about chapter lengths... Sorry, I just write a chapter until I'm done writing for a while, then cut off at an appropriate spot and say "chapter break here". Lengths are totally up to how much writing I feel like doing at the time. Sorry to bother you with bad cut- off-points.
As for the Interlude- sorry about the 'stats' thing, when I typed it out on my computer, it came out as a table, not a paragraph...
I swear. It's annoying, you know? FF.Net seems to remove my italics and bold, does strange things to indentation and lines that aren't double- spaced, and on top of that, whenever I try to put three periods to indicate a pause, it comes out as one.
I guess maybe I should start using Word 6.0 instead of WordPad, but still... annoying.
Anyways.
Now Sin Ku has met Souun Tendoo. Nabiki's learning to keep house, and Ranma and Kodora are learning to skate. Kasumi's hit someone, Kuno's skating, and Souun has a plan.
All SORTS of wonderful things going on.
Like the little surprise at the end?
Betcha thought Kodora was gonna be in the Skating Match.
Well, she still might be.
Just, not in Ranma's place. She's not there to replace Ranma. More like to supplement him.
Anyways, next chapter when next chapter.
Ja ne!
"When the gorilla playfully grabbed the wurm's tail, the wurm doubled back and playfully ate the gorilla's head." -Flavor text, Yavimaya Wurm, Magic: The Gathering