DISCLAIMER: The characters described herein are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. This is a work of fan fiction and there is no intention to profit from the use of these characters.
TIMELINE: Follows the season 6 finale of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Grave) and the season 3 finale of Angel the Series (Tomorrow).
STORY TYPE: Crossover
RATING: PG13. Adult themes and implied violence.
RADIANCE
by Devon King
The powers had decided. The shields they had placed around their new protégé fell away and the sudden onslaught of information washed over her.
It wasn't the crushing , deafening manner that she was used to, however. These messages and emotions had shape and form. Their content was crystal clear. She knew -- felt, really -- instantly what the beings were experiencing.
A handy skill to have as the powers kept track over infinite dimensions and thousands of worlds. One never knew what sort of life form or language you might encounter.
As varied as the missions were, the newcomer noticed many had some basic threads running through them. Greed, wrath and envy played out on as many stages as there were players.
The brighter emotions existed, too, though not in as much quantity. The gleam of joy and love cut such a swath through the darker emotions that it was blinding even to a being of light.
Of course, with great power came great responsibility. There were rules and she had been made aware of the consequences of ignoring the codes. She hadn't been surprised that they had cast her as an observer on a certain world.
Her world. Her home.
Well, at least it used to be, she thought wistfully. The newcomer raised her head and the blue planet swirled into view.
She had meant to check on those she left behind. It was within her reach and though much had changed, her nature was very much as it had been.
She had just begun to filter away the messages, sorting through the clamoring of billions of souls when the ache of one stung her deeply.
The newcomer bit her lip and turned toward the intense emotions that emanated from a tiny town on a small island.
In her time in this realm, she had encountered many visions, many emotions but none as quite so desperate and anguished as this.
And none that felt ...
so familiar.
*******
The figure in the small bed twisted again. She turned her nose further into her pillow to muffle her sobs. She didn't want to awaken anyone else in the cottage.
Not again.
She willed herself to sleep even though she knew it would bring no relief. Pressing her face in to the cool, moist cotton of the pillowcase she set her jaw in grim determination.
An attempt at a deep breath, her insides feeling hollow as her ribcage expanded. The movement was a series of shudders. The tension inside the slim body refused to grant her even this tiny measure of relief.
Green eyes closed. Small fists wound themselves in the bedclothes.
Concentrate. Concentrate.
Where there is darkness, there is light...
Within light there is peace ...
The ache swept over her again and she bent toward her knees, doubling up as she lay on her side. It hid itself inside her hope and it dragged her away from any sense of contentment.
Her eyes drew even more tightly closed, creases forming at their edges from the strain. Her lips opened and pulled ragged breaths from between clenched teeth.
W-w-within the light ...
The ache twisted and darkened. The emotional pain mixing in whorls with physical anguish born out of guilt.
Please, oh, goddess, please...
... th-there is p-peace ...
*******
It started small. Just a spark, really.
Then more of a shimmer, with more intensity , and topped off in a flurry of smaller lights. The swirl of lights amassed into a form that stepped through the luminance onto the cold floor.
The first time she had touched something solid in weeks.
Even now, she could feel the power and the pain that radiated off the young woman. The combination of the two was like a beacon into the higher realm. The newcomer shivered at the intensity of the emotions and closed her dark eyes against the grief.
The battle was obvious. The war that raged even now as the figure in the bed before her fought to balance the forces that had become a part of her. Working to balance them with the best part of her, her heart and her humanity.
The newcomer stepped closer to the bed, one hand raised, cautiously measuring the intensity of young woman's power. The being squinted at the waves of energy, using her newly heightened senses to sort through the swirling mass.
She drew her hand back abruptly -- the darkness was smothering. It was intent on crushing the light from the smaller being. Stepping even closer, the newcomer's eyes narrowed further, this time in anger.
There had been an injury, something beyond the physical, that had wounded this girl so deeply that the darkness had crept in and found a hold. That grip had tightened and had apparently even taken over for a time only to be driven back by ... something.
The being of light hesitantly lifted her hand again, this time looking for the events that would've triggered such a transformation.
A sad smile played over the newcomer's face. Echoes of a life left behind rattled through her. The scenes played themselves out as she tapped into the remnants of the last few weeks.
Faces and places familiar though shaded in dark tones. As if she were looking at the negatives from which photos would be made. She smiled again, this time at the joy and warmth that vibrated from the memories.
Her breath caught in her chest. The scenes had changed. Pain and fear and revenge emanated and mutated into a swirling darkness that reached into the world and threatened to destroy it.
The being of light winced at the clash of energies. Though new to this existence, she was aware of the ebb and flow of powers in the universe. For the most part, these powers existed beyond the range and reach of the physical world.
The forces that created worlds, monitored dimensions and worked to keep the whole infinite design from spinning out of control had to operate outside the hands of meddling creatures -- human or otherwise.
But then, every so often, some force would punch its way through the barriers and set off a cascade effect of repercussions. The powers would intervene, usually sending an agent like the one that now stepped closer to the bed.
*****************
There was no escaping it. She was a murderer.
The girl's auburn bangs matted to her forehead as the dreams pummeled away at her psyche. For her, the guilt and remorse had become an ever whispering voice.
You did it. You hurt them all.
Even the ones you loved the most.
She flinched in her sleep, one foot kicking in reflex at the sensation of falling.
Her dream shifted in a swirl of color and the voice faded. Instead she heard the soft thud of sneakers on concrete.
Looking down, she saw the toes of her tennis shoes as she stepped down the last few stairs into sunlight.
I know this place ...
Raising her head she looked around. There was something slightly off about the colors -- they seemed impossibly bright to her. The trees were way too green. The stucco buildings around the quad were nearly glistening in the sun. And the sounds?
She cocked her head and listened. A hundred voices in a hundred conversations as students passed around her.
A slight breeze pushed against her face, its cool touch fluttering her coppery hair. She took a hesitant step. Then another. Her confidence growing, she found it easy to move through the crowd and she found herself traveling her usual route.
As comforting as these visions were, a part of her refused to embrace them. It was a favorite trick of the darkness. It would show her a portion of her life before, wait for her to relax her guard and then chip away at her hopes by destroying the very things she longed for most.
The voice of the darkness would speak through her friends and the precious moment would be gone. Changed forever. It had happened more times than she could count.
"Why resist it? You won't be missed," the librarian had muttered.
The boy's bright smile had faded and he had fixed her with a withering glare. "After all you did, how could you think we would forgive you?"
Her best friend's embrace had ended with a forceful shove. She teetered barely keeping her balance as the blonde scowled at her. "We could never love you. You deserve to die."
Her stride faltered slightly at those recollections. It would happen again, but for now it was just another day at Sunnydale High.
A turn at the corner and she found herself in front of their bench. The girl sitting there looked up.
"Cordelia?" The redhead involuntarily pulled her books tighter to her chest.
"Willow, hey," came the surprisingly warm reply. "Bet you were expecting Buffy, huh?" she said as she scooted over to allow the other girl to sit.
Willow's nose wrinkled skeptically at the invitation but she took it none the less. "No, it's not that, you see it's just, ummm ..."
The brunette raised an eyebrow in challenge to the stammered reply.
"... okay. Yes. I was expecting Buffy," Willow shrugged. She sat and considered the socialite who was looking at her expectantly.
Cordelia nodded. "She'd be here if she could," she remarked.
"What do you mean?" asked the redhead carefully. It sure looked like Cordelia. Well, mostly, anyway. Willow stiffened suddenly, "Is there something wrong with Buffy?"
"No!" Cordy blurted quickly upon seeing the girl's reaction. She smiled again and raised a hand to dissuade any other fears. "No, nothing like that. This is just a little more in my territory than hers."
"What is?" Here it comes, thought the girl with a shudder. The brunette raised her hand further and then hesitated. Willow's eyes widened at the action.
Cordelia fingertips gently brushed the honor student's forehead. "This," Cordelia said quietly.
Willow blinked at the touch. As unexpected as it was, it was also strangely soothing.
And sorta tingly, she decided with a snicker. The cheerleader was still looking at her intently.
The hacker's expressive features registered that she was struggling to understand what exactly was happening. None of her memories of the girl sitting opposite her matched this one.
Not even close, she thought absently.
Cordelia's dark eyes widened, and for a moment, the redhead thought she had just read her mind.
In fact, the cheerleader had just made a decision. "You're gonna be okay," she said.
Willow looked around the dream world and then back at the brunette. "I want to believe you," she said softly.
"You can," replied the dark haired beauty as she stood and dusted off her jeans.
The tingle was fading but something was still amiss. Willow looked up thoughtfully. "Say, Cordy," she said as she squinted in the light, "when did you cut your hair?"
The chin length cut suited her, mused the witch.
Cordelia Chase reached up and tucked an errant strand of ebony behind her ear. She looked back at the teenager on the bench. "A while ago," she said with small smile.
******************
Her breathing had evened out. The figure in the bed rolled over onto her back, one arm flung carelessly over her head. Her face revealed that she was sleeping peacefully.
The being of light extended her senses once again, searching for the darkness. The grief was still there, for there were things yet to be worked through. The remorse remained as well but it no longer threatened to drown the girl.
A hint of the dark power remained -- as the being had suspected. But now it was manageable. It could be compartmentalized and contained. In time it might even be harnessed for good.
She would always have to be vigilant and she would have struggles but she would know hope and love.
Hope and love would grant her the strength she would need in the coming years and with the coming challenges.
The light shimmered, a pale blue infusing it. The newcomer realized she had taken a risk but had not factored in the intensity of the emotions she was now feeling.
She expected to be reprimanded for her actions. She wasn't quite sure what that would mean -- and frankly, she just didn't care. The sensation of being close to her life left behind had been both thrilling and saddening.
The melancholy would pass as it had when she had first ascended.
You can take the girl out of Earth but you can't take the Earth out of the girl, she thought to herself with a smirk.
She passed her hand over the coverlet, feeling the cool of the cloth and the rasp of the stitches in the patchwork. Having been without form for so long, she had forgotten some of the simple pleasures of her prior existence.
The sensations danced along her fingertips as she tugged the blanket back over her friend, drawing it up near the sleeping girl's chin.
"Gotta go," whispered the being of light. "Take care, Willow."
The redhead's features were illuminated once again by the radiance of a hand that smoothed the witch's bangs away from her face.
The outline of the figure faded from view as it dissolved in a shower of light. Gradually, the sparkles winked out, leaving only the glow of the moon through the stone window.
FINIS