Ranma looked over at the black-cloaked figure.
"Are ya sure about this?" He asked, with a dubious look on his face.
The figure mumbled indistinctly, if at length.
Ranma frowned. "Well, maybe it will be fun to watch, but still..."
More mumbling.
"Well, no, actually, I agree that Yajirobe makes a great Genma."
There was a gesture to the animal wearing a yellow-with-black-checker- stripes bandana and playing with an umbrella..
"Yes, I know, Penpen is getting pretty good with that. And, o' course, having Myoga play Happosai was just a stroke of genius."
More mumbling.
"Well, it's just..."
There was a series of mumbles.
"Exactly. You really think he can do it right?"
Tenchi, wearing red and black, with his pigtail braided, looked up from his script.
"You know," he said, "This might actually be kind of fun."
Ranma grimaced. "'Kinda', Tenchi. 'Kinda' fun."
Tenchi blinked. "Didn't I say that?"
The cloaked figure sweatdropped a little.
**************************************************************************** *************
Passenger Chapter 30: And the Fog Comes Rolling In
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Selene Starblade Dedicated to writing even the dumbest fanfics as well as possible.
Disclaimer: So most of them aren't mine. Big whoop.
Japanese shows up in " ". English is in , although some sound effects are too. Chinese is in { }. Jusenkyoo Cursed Signs show up in [ ]. And Ranma and Kodora's mental conversations are in stylish * *.
**************************************************************************** *************
"Miki-chan has no time to chase after frumpy old women. It's time to practice!"
Kasumi blinked.
That can't be right, she thought. I'm not.... I'm not a frumpy old woman.....
...am I?
Well, was she? Kasumi thought about it seriously. How would you know if you were frumpy? Well, first off, you wouldn't think you looked good. That was always a direct sign. So, she asked herself if she looked good.
And realised she didn't have a clue. She hadn't payed any attention to her reflection in the bathroom mirror in years, and, in fact, hadn't encountered that many others. When she had, she never looked at herself in them. She seldom had the time. Even the one in Toohuu-sensei's clinic was never used by her. She generally had to leave after bringing the kind doctor her latest attempt at an apology. The rest of the time, she had groceries to shop for, a house to clean...
So, that let that out as a sign. How else? Well, let's see... when you look frumpy, people don't pay much attention to your appearances. Kasumi couldn't recall turning anyones head recently. (In fact, she did regularly, but most of these people she was engaged in conversation with at the time, so she would hardly have noticed the difference)
Uh-oh.
Okay, okay, wait, no need to get all depressed yet. That wasn't the only way to tell. Now, if you didn't look good, people wouldn't ask you out on dates.
("PREPARE TO DIE!!!!" said someone to whom Kasumi was not currently paying attention.)
Oh, dear. Noone had asked Kasumi out on a date since her sophomore year at Furinkan High, when it had finally become known that she was the caretaker for the entire Tendoo-ke. (This was also around the time when word finished getting around how the Doc got around Kasumi.)
This was not looking good to Kasumi.
And then there was yesterday, when that Mikado boy had thought she was Kodora-chan's mother, not her sister... (Actually, he had thought so because of her housedress, and that he had guessed Kodora to be maybe nine, and what he had assumed to be a twenty-six or twenty-seven year old woman having a nine year old child was not too far-fetched at all, but again, Kasumi didn't know that.)
And, of course, there was the time with that new grocer, who had asked her to make friends with his forty year old wife. 'She needs someone around her age...' he had said.
Oh, dear. Now Kasumi was getting good and depressed.
There was the sound of ice crunching.
As a matter of fact, Kasumi couldn't remember anyone having even commented that she looked nice that day recently, with the possible exception of Kodora (who didn't really count, being both female and -sort of- a relative).
"Ah, yes. An apology, I believe. Here, let me..." Mikado lifted her head slightly, leaning in towards her.
SMAKK
Kasumi froze, right arm crossed over her body. What had she just done?
She had hit someone. She had broken her own golden rule- 'do no intentional harm'. She stared blankly at the still-spinning Mikado. Apparently all that sweeping, cooking, dusting, laundry, raking, more sweeping, and scrubbing had kept her punch from getting weaker, even though she had stopped all forms of martial arts long ago.
She dropped the tangent, and thought about what she had just done, and why.
Kasumi had hit someone out of frustration, out of anger, out of depression... none of which were good reasons to her thinking.
About this point, the gears on Akane's voicebox caught, as her brain finally engaged the clutch.
"Kasumi.... hit someone??????"
"You." Stated Ranma, the word pointing at Mikado like a rather sharp arrow.
The taller boy looked back at Ranma. "What is it YOU want??"
Ranma continued to glare at him. "You have insulted my friend AND you have tried to kiss unwilling girls who are also my friends several times today. It's obvious you know how to fight. I challenge you."
Mikado scoffed. "I accept. We will meet in the Kolkhoz High rink a week from now. And remember, you have to have a partner."
Ranma, suddenly derailed, gave Mikado a blank look.
"Partner?"
Mikado nodded. "Why did you think they called it Martial Arts Pairs Figure Skating?"
Ranma sweatdropped.
******
Not much later, Ryooga, Akane, and Ranma managed to coax a mostly unresponsive Kasumi out of the building and down the street towards the Tendoo Dojo. According to the note Souun had left with the man at the skate rental counter, he would be at home, having headed there as soon as he recovered from his cramp.
"..." said Ryooga.
"..." said Akane.
"..." said Ranma.
"..........." said Kasumi, outdoing the others for gloom content to her silence.
*Well...* began Kodora, who hated long silences. *..who ARE you going to partner up with?*
*Uh... can we talk about this later, Imootochan?*
*Oh, alright.*
"..." said Ryooga.
"..." said Aka... aw, heck, you get the picture.
They continued this all of the way to the Dojo.
******
When Kasumi stepped out from the kitchen into the hallway after finishing with the dinner dishes, she found Ranma, looking slightly bored and slightly embarrassed, waiting for her. She nodded to the young man silently, and turned to head upstairs.
"Wait, Kasumi-san..."
Still looking somewhat dulled, Kasumi turned to face Ranma. She tried, but failed miserably at even smiling, her face remaining in the neutral 'thoughtful' pose she had been unknowingly maintaining since leaving the ice skating rink.
Ranma sighed. "What's wrong, Kasumi-san? Kodora-imootochan and I are getting worried."
Kasumi shook her head. "Why, nothing's wrong, Ranma-san. Whatever made you think that?" this was followed by what might eventually be recorded as the second most fake plastic smile ever used.
Ranma shook his head as well. "That's not going to work, Kasumi-san. Kodora-chan and I can both tell that's not your real smile."
Kasumi sighed. "Well... I suppose I could talk about it... here, we'll go to my room."
Ranma nodded, and followed Kasumi upstairs.
******
Genma and Souun sat at the shogi board. Genma was currently a panda (yet again), courtesy of an accident while clearing the water glasses.
"Saotome-kun, did you notice anything... wrong with dinner tonight?"
[What are you talking about Tendoo-kun? Your advertisement here.]
Souun shrugged. "I don't know, it just seemed... less something-or-other than usual. And Kasumi-chan looked awfully thoughtful. I hope nothing's wrong." [Aah, you're just imagining things. You too can make money off this valuable advertising space!]
Souun blinked. "Saotome-kun, what's wrong with your signs?"
[Wrong? Contact Tendoo Nabiki at the Tendoo Dojo, Nerima, Japan for details.]
The panda paused, and examined his sign.
[What the... Coca-cola: Even pandas love the taste!]
The panda flipped the sign around.
[What on earth is wrong with these things? This space for rent.]
Nabiki, sitting on the sofa reading a manga, looked over at Genma and giggled.
Souun looked thoughtful. "Maybe it's just the nature of things. The sky is blue, gravity pulls down, advertisements find their ways into the darndest spots..."
Genma-panda looked slightly chagrined. [Especially when Nabiki's involved. Welcome To The Next Level. SEGA!]
Nabiki kept giggling for a while.
******
Ranma sat on the floor, facing Kasumi. He looked around again. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't looked around much in the room.
Now he realized Kasumi didn't have a lot of stuff. Sure she had a small television, a boombox, a dresser and a table, but that seemed to be about it besides the bed and futon. On the other hand, considering how little time she actually spent in her room, that kind of made sense.
He would have thought she would at least want a chair or something, though.
Ranma cleared his thoughts.
*You're on your own on this one, Oniisan.* Kodora had said. *You need to learn to do this on your own. I know you can get it right.*
Damned if he'd fail her trust while she was literally sitting right here.
Ranma opened his mouth to ask the question again, but was interrupted by Kasumi.
"I hit him."
Ranma blinked, closed his mouth, then opened it again.
"And?"
"What do you mean 'and'?? It was wrong! I had no reason to hit him!"
Ranma snorted. "You had every reason to hit him! He was molesting you! I may not know much, but I know that if you didn't want him to do it, it's molestation! And he certainly wasn't responding to words at all."
"But... but hurting someone is wrong! There's no excuse for that... it's just wrong!"
"You're kiddin' me, right? If hurtin' someone is wrong, then what the heck is martial arts? If you think hurtin' someone is wrong, then you think martial arts is wrong! The most important part of martial arts is hurtin' someone to keep 'em from causin' more hurt themselves. 'Protect the Weak', remember? What else will ya do when words just don't cut it? "Look, Kasumi-chan. You had already tried to talk him out of it, right? You told him it was wrong, and it was made perfectly clear that you didn't want him to do it. Right?"
Kasumi half-nodded. At that point, she hadn't been sure she hadn't wanted the kiss, just to reassure herself that she wasn't frumpy or ugly.
"Right. And that didn't work, did it? Another big thing in martial arts. Control. Ya hafta try words first. Yes, fighting is a last resort, but it's an important one, right? I mean, I don't know how ta do lotsa stuff with words, so I'm stuck with fighting a lotta the time, but you certainly tried. It's not wrong ta hurt someone if it keeps someone else from gettin' hurt more. I mean, look at Kodora-chan. She'd be a lot better off if people'd tried ta beat her up than she was because they made fun of her an' stuff. Ya may not have gotten what she said way back then, but when she was so depressed... she said somethin' that really sticks. Injuries are mostly temporary. If ya use the wrong words, you c'n do a lot of damage to someone that ain't physical- and that's a lot harder ta get fixed."
Kasumi nodded again. "I... I suppose. But how does that excuse what I did?"
Ranma shook his head. "It don't. It don't excuse it, an' it don't justify it. But it does explain it an' make it reasonable. I don't see as ya did anythin' ta be ashamed of. An' I'm pretty sure Ojiisan Tendoo would agree with me too, if he were here. He's a martial artist too, remember?"
Kasumi finally smiled again, and nodded. "I understand, Ranma."
Ranma nodded. "Good! Glad ta have that done with. Now, I think I'm gonna go have a snack." He rubbed his palms together, getting up.
Kasumi giggled. "Ranma, you bottomless pit! What will it take to make you full?"
Ranma grinned haphazardly. "Only some of th' best food I ever had." And with that, he left the room, heading downstairs to raid the fridge for what little leftovers there were.
Kasumi shook her head. Only Ranma could do that. Be kind and understanding like Kodora one moment, then his typical semi-clueless, somewhat doofy self the next.
As she got up to change into her nightgown, she wondered if there was anyone anywhere else who could be quite like that.
In countless other universes, and downstairs, countless people named variously Saotome Ranma, Son Goku, Son Ranma, and Saotome Goku all sneezed.
**************************************************************************** *************
Now THERE's a sneezing fit that'll do some damage.
'Wachoo! Oh, sorry about your mountain. Really, a crater looks better there. Honest!'
Tee-hee.
Things continue to progress in this nifty little alternate universe, and Ranma seems to be learning a good deal of how to cope with people.
Although he's still stuck in martial arts analogies.
But what about Ryooga?
And the Amazons?
And who will be Ranma's partner for the Skating Match??
Find out next time in: Blinding Fog, or, Mist Rising From Ice!!
Bai Bai!
"Ogres are... like onions!" "Oh, they smell?" "Yes. NO!" "They make ya cry?" "No!" "Ohh, you leave 'em out in th' sun, an' they start sproutin' little white hairs." "Nooo! Layers! Onions. Have. Layers! Ogres have layers! Ogres have layers, onions have layers! Do y' get it? We both have layers." "...... you know, not everyone likes onions." "..." "... Cakes! Cakes have layers! Everyone likes cakes." "I don't CARE what everybody likes! Ogres are NOT like CAKES. Ogres are like ONIONS." "... Parfaits! Parfaits have layers! Everybody likes parfaits. You never meet someone say 'Hey, let's go get some Parfaits. No, I don' like no parfaits.'" "NO! You DENSE, IRRITATING, MINIATURE BEAST OF BURDEN! Ogres are not like parfaits! Ogres are like ONIONS! End of story! Bye-bye! Seeyalater." -The Ogres Are Like Onions scene, Shreck.
"Are ya sure about this?" He asked, with a dubious look on his face.
The figure mumbled indistinctly, if at length.
Ranma frowned. "Well, maybe it will be fun to watch, but still..."
More mumbling.
"Well, no, actually, I agree that Yajirobe makes a great Genma."
There was a gesture to the animal wearing a yellow-with-black-checker- stripes bandana and playing with an umbrella..
"Yes, I know, Penpen is getting pretty good with that. And, o' course, having Myoga play Happosai was just a stroke of genius."
More mumbling.
"Well, it's just..."
There was a series of mumbles.
"Exactly. You really think he can do it right?"
Tenchi, wearing red and black, with his pigtail braided, looked up from his script.
"You know," he said, "This might actually be kind of fun."
Ranma grimaced. "'Kinda', Tenchi. 'Kinda' fun."
Tenchi blinked. "Didn't I say that?"
The cloaked figure sweatdropped a little.
**************************************************************************** *************
Passenger Chapter 30: And the Fog Comes Rolling In
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Selene Starblade Dedicated to writing even the dumbest fanfics as well as possible.
Disclaimer: So most of them aren't mine. Big whoop.
Japanese shows up in " ". English is in , although some sound effects are too. Chinese is in { }. Jusenkyoo Cursed Signs show up in [ ]. And Ranma and Kodora's mental conversations are in stylish * *.
**************************************************************************** *************
"Miki-chan has no time to chase after frumpy old women. It's time to practice!"
Kasumi blinked.
That can't be right, she thought. I'm not.... I'm not a frumpy old woman.....
...am I?
Well, was she? Kasumi thought about it seriously. How would you know if you were frumpy? Well, first off, you wouldn't think you looked good. That was always a direct sign. So, she asked herself if she looked good.
And realised she didn't have a clue. She hadn't payed any attention to her reflection in the bathroom mirror in years, and, in fact, hadn't encountered that many others. When she had, she never looked at herself in them. She seldom had the time. Even the one in Toohuu-sensei's clinic was never used by her. She generally had to leave after bringing the kind doctor her latest attempt at an apology. The rest of the time, she had groceries to shop for, a house to clean...
So, that let that out as a sign. How else? Well, let's see... when you look frumpy, people don't pay much attention to your appearances. Kasumi couldn't recall turning anyones head recently. (In fact, she did regularly, but most of these people she was engaged in conversation with at the time, so she would hardly have noticed the difference)
Uh-oh.
Okay, okay, wait, no need to get all depressed yet. That wasn't the only way to tell. Now, if you didn't look good, people wouldn't ask you out on dates.
("PREPARE TO DIE!!!!" said someone to whom Kasumi was not currently paying attention.)
Oh, dear. Noone had asked Kasumi out on a date since her sophomore year at Furinkan High, when it had finally become known that she was the caretaker for the entire Tendoo-ke. (This was also around the time when word finished getting around how the Doc got around Kasumi.)
This was not looking good to Kasumi.
And then there was yesterday, when that Mikado boy had thought she was Kodora-chan's mother, not her sister... (Actually, he had thought so because of her housedress, and that he had guessed Kodora to be maybe nine, and what he had assumed to be a twenty-six or twenty-seven year old woman having a nine year old child was not too far-fetched at all, but again, Kasumi didn't know that.)
And, of course, there was the time with that new grocer, who had asked her to make friends with his forty year old wife. 'She needs someone around her age...' he had said.
Oh, dear. Now Kasumi was getting good and depressed.
There was the sound of ice crunching.
As a matter of fact, Kasumi couldn't remember anyone having even commented that she looked nice that day recently, with the possible exception of Kodora (who didn't really count, being both female and -sort of- a relative).
"Ah, yes. An apology, I believe. Here, let me..." Mikado lifted her head slightly, leaning in towards her.
SMAKK
Kasumi froze, right arm crossed over her body. What had she just done?
She had hit someone. She had broken her own golden rule- 'do no intentional harm'. She stared blankly at the still-spinning Mikado. Apparently all that sweeping, cooking, dusting, laundry, raking, more sweeping, and scrubbing had kept her punch from getting weaker, even though she had stopped all forms of martial arts long ago.
She dropped the tangent, and thought about what she had just done, and why.
Kasumi had hit someone out of frustration, out of anger, out of depression... none of which were good reasons to her thinking.
About this point, the gears on Akane's voicebox caught, as her brain finally engaged the clutch.
"Kasumi.... hit someone??????"
"You." Stated Ranma, the word pointing at Mikado like a rather sharp arrow.
The taller boy looked back at Ranma. "What is it YOU want??"
Ranma continued to glare at him. "You have insulted my friend AND you have tried to kiss unwilling girls who are also my friends several times today. It's obvious you know how to fight. I challenge you."
Mikado scoffed. "I accept. We will meet in the Kolkhoz High rink a week from now. And remember, you have to have a partner."
Ranma, suddenly derailed, gave Mikado a blank look.
"Partner?"
Mikado nodded. "Why did you think they called it Martial Arts Pairs Figure Skating?"
Ranma sweatdropped.
******
Not much later, Ryooga, Akane, and Ranma managed to coax a mostly unresponsive Kasumi out of the building and down the street towards the Tendoo Dojo. According to the note Souun had left with the man at the skate rental counter, he would be at home, having headed there as soon as he recovered from his cramp.
"..." said Ryooga.
"..." said Akane.
"..." said Ranma.
"..........." said Kasumi, outdoing the others for gloom content to her silence.
*Well...* began Kodora, who hated long silences. *..who ARE you going to partner up with?*
*Uh... can we talk about this later, Imootochan?*
*Oh, alright.*
"..." said Ryooga.
"..." said Aka... aw, heck, you get the picture.
They continued this all of the way to the Dojo.
******
When Kasumi stepped out from the kitchen into the hallway after finishing with the dinner dishes, she found Ranma, looking slightly bored and slightly embarrassed, waiting for her. She nodded to the young man silently, and turned to head upstairs.
"Wait, Kasumi-san..."
Still looking somewhat dulled, Kasumi turned to face Ranma. She tried, but failed miserably at even smiling, her face remaining in the neutral 'thoughtful' pose she had been unknowingly maintaining since leaving the ice skating rink.
Ranma sighed. "What's wrong, Kasumi-san? Kodora-imootochan and I are getting worried."
Kasumi shook her head. "Why, nothing's wrong, Ranma-san. Whatever made you think that?" this was followed by what might eventually be recorded as the second most fake plastic smile ever used.
Ranma shook his head as well. "That's not going to work, Kasumi-san. Kodora-chan and I can both tell that's not your real smile."
Kasumi sighed. "Well... I suppose I could talk about it... here, we'll go to my room."
Ranma nodded, and followed Kasumi upstairs.
******
Genma and Souun sat at the shogi board. Genma was currently a panda (yet again), courtesy of an accident while clearing the water glasses.
"Saotome-kun, did you notice anything... wrong with dinner tonight?"
[What are you talking about Tendoo-kun? Your advertisement here.]
Souun shrugged. "I don't know, it just seemed... less something-or-other than usual. And Kasumi-chan looked awfully thoughtful. I hope nothing's wrong." [Aah, you're just imagining things. You too can make money off this valuable advertising space!]
Souun blinked. "Saotome-kun, what's wrong with your signs?"
[Wrong? Contact Tendoo Nabiki at the Tendoo Dojo, Nerima, Japan for details.]
The panda paused, and examined his sign.
[What the... Coca-cola: Even pandas love the taste!]
The panda flipped the sign around.
[What on earth is wrong with these things? This space for rent.]
Nabiki, sitting on the sofa reading a manga, looked over at Genma and giggled.
Souun looked thoughtful. "Maybe it's just the nature of things. The sky is blue, gravity pulls down, advertisements find their ways into the darndest spots..."
Genma-panda looked slightly chagrined. [Especially when Nabiki's involved. Welcome To The Next Level. SEGA!]
Nabiki kept giggling for a while.
******
Ranma sat on the floor, facing Kasumi. He looked around again. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't looked around much in the room.
Now he realized Kasumi didn't have a lot of stuff. Sure she had a small television, a boombox, a dresser and a table, but that seemed to be about it besides the bed and futon. On the other hand, considering how little time she actually spent in her room, that kind of made sense.
He would have thought she would at least want a chair or something, though.
Ranma cleared his thoughts.
*You're on your own on this one, Oniisan.* Kodora had said. *You need to learn to do this on your own. I know you can get it right.*
Damned if he'd fail her trust while she was literally sitting right here.
Ranma opened his mouth to ask the question again, but was interrupted by Kasumi.
"I hit him."
Ranma blinked, closed his mouth, then opened it again.
"And?"
"What do you mean 'and'?? It was wrong! I had no reason to hit him!"
Ranma snorted. "You had every reason to hit him! He was molesting you! I may not know much, but I know that if you didn't want him to do it, it's molestation! And he certainly wasn't responding to words at all."
"But... but hurting someone is wrong! There's no excuse for that... it's just wrong!"
"You're kiddin' me, right? If hurtin' someone is wrong, then what the heck is martial arts? If you think hurtin' someone is wrong, then you think martial arts is wrong! The most important part of martial arts is hurtin' someone to keep 'em from causin' more hurt themselves. 'Protect the Weak', remember? What else will ya do when words just don't cut it? "Look, Kasumi-chan. You had already tried to talk him out of it, right? You told him it was wrong, and it was made perfectly clear that you didn't want him to do it. Right?"
Kasumi half-nodded. At that point, she hadn't been sure she hadn't wanted the kiss, just to reassure herself that she wasn't frumpy or ugly.
"Right. And that didn't work, did it? Another big thing in martial arts. Control. Ya hafta try words first. Yes, fighting is a last resort, but it's an important one, right? I mean, I don't know how ta do lotsa stuff with words, so I'm stuck with fighting a lotta the time, but you certainly tried. It's not wrong ta hurt someone if it keeps someone else from gettin' hurt more. I mean, look at Kodora-chan. She'd be a lot better off if people'd tried ta beat her up than she was because they made fun of her an' stuff. Ya may not have gotten what she said way back then, but when she was so depressed... she said somethin' that really sticks. Injuries are mostly temporary. If ya use the wrong words, you c'n do a lot of damage to someone that ain't physical- and that's a lot harder ta get fixed."
Kasumi nodded again. "I... I suppose. But how does that excuse what I did?"
Ranma shook his head. "It don't. It don't excuse it, an' it don't justify it. But it does explain it an' make it reasonable. I don't see as ya did anythin' ta be ashamed of. An' I'm pretty sure Ojiisan Tendoo would agree with me too, if he were here. He's a martial artist too, remember?"
Kasumi finally smiled again, and nodded. "I understand, Ranma."
Ranma nodded. "Good! Glad ta have that done with. Now, I think I'm gonna go have a snack." He rubbed his palms together, getting up.
Kasumi giggled. "Ranma, you bottomless pit! What will it take to make you full?"
Ranma grinned haphazardly. "Only some of th' best food I ever had." And with that, he left the room, heading downstairs to raid the fridge for what little leftovers there were.
Kasumi shook her head. Only Ranma could do that. Be kind and understanding like Kodora one moment, then his typical semi-clueless, somewhat doofy self the next.
As she got up to change into her nightgown, she wondered if there was anyone anywhere else who could be quite like that.
In countless other universes, and downstairs, countless people named variously Saotome Ranma, Son Goku, Son Ranma, and Saotome Goku all sneezed.
**************************************************************************** *************
Now THERE's a sneezing fit that'll do some damage.
'Wachoo! Oh, sorry about your mountain. Really, a crater looks better there. Honest!'
Tee-hee.
Things continue to progress in this nifty little alternate universe, and Ranma seems to be learning a good deal of how to cope with people.
Although he's still stuck in martial arts analogies.
But what about Ryooga?
And the Amazons?
And who will be Ranma's partner for the Skating Match??
Find out next time in: Blinding Fog, or, Mist Rising From Ice!!
Bai Bai!
"Ogres are... like onions!" "Oh, they smell?" "Yes. NO!" "They make ya cry?" "No!" "Ohh, you leave 'em out in th' sun, an' they start sproutin' little white hairs." "Nooo! Layers! Onions. Have. Layers! Ogres have layers! Ogres have layers, onions have layers! Do y' get it? We both have layers." "...... you know, not everyone likes onions." "..." "... Cakes! Cakes have layers! Everyone likes cakes." "I don't CARE what everybody likes! Ogres are NOT like CAKES. Ogres are like ONIONS." "... Parfaits! Parfaits have layers! Everybody likes parfaits. You never meet someone say 'Hey, let's go get some Parfaits. No, I don' like no parfaits.'" "NO! You DENSE, IRRITATING, MINIATURE BEAST OF BURDEN! Ogres are not like parfaits! Ogres are like ONIONS! End of story! Bye-bye! Seeyalater." -The Ogres Are Like Onions scene, Shreck.