by Famira Damaris
Disclaimer: Feh, don't own Gundam.
Author's Notes: Exactly what the title says: this fanfic
is a tribute to a fellow author. It's also a Gundam fanfic (this takes
place in the original Gundam timeline) and (hopefully) a humor fic. Random
silliness, confusion over White Base/Trojan Horse/Wooden Horse, jumping
back and worth between character voice actors (Bright's done by the Japanese
Kuno, example, while Amuro's done by the English Quatre) yaoi implications,
references to grown men liking Pokemon (Pokeballs), etc... Concerning UC
Gundam: I'm starting with the first episode of Mobile Suit Gundam 0079,
but I missed the first two episodes, so I'm winging it from
what I remember from that manga: or I'll be making it up (usually
with dialogue if I don't know it and the situations: don't bother flaming
me about this). With the narrations at the beginning of episodes, I'm bypassing.
And at the beginning, I'm focusing on Bright Noah.
And to the tribute part, to the writer that inspired me: thanks.
--------------------------------
It's Called Character Introduction
--------------------------------
Well, enough about the creator of Gundam's drama-less tale and more about the ass-kicking robots!
Which, I've already established, is what's cool about Gundam.
So, this concept got made into an anime...which I also already established. This is not the story of the Gundam creator...this is the story of Gundam itself. That means out of 1979, and into UC 0079. Got that?
Good, 'cause I'm too lazy to repeat myself.
It all started out on a typically usual night: usual in that it was dark and nights are usually dark. At least they were the last time I checked so that's how it was this particular night. Actually, if you think about it, it's practically always night in space, which is where this story begins. Whatever! All you need to know is that it was dark and usual and that it would be pretty damn cold if anyone happened to be floating around in space.
Anyway, dragging itself through this particular stretch of space was a Federal barge. Hell, let's make it a battleship, just because barges aren't as cool looking! This battleship happened to be armed to the teeth with all these guns and missiles and all this other stuff and was basically too badass to describe. In other words, it was pretty nifty. For the sake of the story, let's call it "White Base". It was white. It was also a base. It had fins for wings. It also had this weird tower thingie that started to resemble the head of a horse if you stared long enough at the screen until the image began to swim.
But it wasn't made out of wood. Nor was it from Troy.
This battleship that was neither wooden nor Trojan was in fact a Pegasus-class Earth Federation space vessel. Basically, its purpose was to fly around and blow stuff up just like everything does in Gundam. Now, White Base wasn't particularly good at its job but to avoid pointing fingers and to save valuable narration time, we can say its the fault of the crew and not the poor ship itself. God knows it tried hard enough, and it deserves brownie points for effort.
The only reason this specific ship had any significance at all was because onboard were not just one, but two (count 'em!), two important characters! Which is cool, 'cause it sucks when it takes forever to get characters introduced.
Anyway, one of these main characters was at this very moment slowly making his way up to the bridge: slowly because the bridge happened to be at the top of the damn ship which had been built like a maze with way too many random corridors. He was an American...wait, no, forget that! He was English and would kick a lot of ass if he wasn't in the lowly position of the White Base's quartermaster. He was one of the afore-mentioned bishounen. He also had a very low paying salary.
I feel sorry for him, don't you?
His name was Bright Noah.. If he wasn't so darn cool, I'd laugh at him -
"Hey!"
What?
"I've got feelings! Don't talk about me as if I'm not here!"
Er......hey! You can't talk to me like that! I'm narrating this damn thing! Hell, I could make you a mechanic instead of just quartermaster if you keep up that sass...
"Eiee..."
That's better. So anyway, Bright Noah was English and stuff. He had curly black hair and these beady little brown eyes that looked cool just because they were his. He wasn't really that good at his job, but then again, neither was anyone else on White Base. All you need to know is that most people aren't particularly good at anything and Bright wasn't much of an exception.
In fact, the only reason he stood out above the others was the fact that he was bish. And English. And sounded like Kuno. Sometimes he had the strange urge to wear all blue and spout off random lines of poetry. But he didn't. He had self-control.
He was that cool.
Bright was (at the moment) cursing his commander for being such a jerk and calling him up to the bridge. He knew that Bright was working in the bottom of the damn ship, but no-o-o, it was "get your ass up here!" So here he was, trying to haul ass to the top of White Base and getting lost numerous amounts of times in the hallways. He'd been enlisted in the Federal forces for six months now: am I the only one wondering how he could be lost in the first place?
He stopped to take a rest: only because he was tired.
He wasn't even halfway up the height of the ship: he'd been called up over an hour ago. The ship was that big. He was that lost.
It was that embarrassing.
"I'm tired," Bright said to no one in particular. He didn't usually think out loud or state the obvious, but it made him feel less like an idiot for being so lost. But his situation was still pretty humiliating, so he stopped doing the above after the first few moments. He leaned against the wall, managing to look bishounen even his Earth Federation-issued uniform and tights.
Hey...wait a minute...two bishounen....that means...
....carry the five...divide by two....
Ah-ha! Possible yaoi!
"Really?" Bright's eyes lit up.
Really. If you do the math, there's two bishounen and one quasi-bishounen. Excluding you, there's Char and Amuro: that means one'll get left over unless your guys organize something...
"Who're they?" Bright had a blank look on his ridiculously handsome face: mostly because he wasn't sure why he was even talking to a loud voice from the sky, much less engaging in conversation with it.
Nevermind! You'll find out soon enough. ¬_¬
"You suck, you know that?"
Hey-y-y-y...
Bright suddenly decided he wasn't all that tired. He resumed his journey, however, with a wide, eager grin that had absolutely nothing to do with duty. You don't have to be a yaoi-fan to figure out what's going on in his brain. Eh heh heh...
He's so seme.
Mmm...seme Bright. Kinky
>>>>>>
Meanwhile, elsewhere on this huge Pegasus-class ship, the other main character was busy with random repairs. He didn't know what the hell he was repairing or why he was doing it, but that was his job: he repaired things. He, unfortunately, wasn't a bish like Bright Noah, which sucks, because for a big, fat guy, Ryu kicked a lot of ass.
He knew it too.
Ryu was Hispanic, but no one questioned his Japanese name because no one on White Base had noticed that little irregularity. He was big. He was also fat. He liked short people because he could look down at them. He also had an avid fear of flying in fighters: mostly because he had this weird little urge to fly them into things. Normal people call this "foreshadowing", which is exactly what this is.
That's not important right now, though.
What is important was that he was repairing something. It was small and round and red/white all over - but it wasn't the result of a nasty joke. But since all narrators are omnipotent, we know it to be a...
....
To be a...
....
....
...Well, shit. I don't know what the hell it is either. It isn't nasty or perverted, so let's just leave it at that. I'm starting to get a headache trying to figure these things out.
Ryu ground his teeth together as he repaired the red orb: he'd been told to fix the thing by the commander, but without instructions, just to "sit your sorry ass (the commander was especially fond of the word 'ass' for some unexplained reason) down and repair my damn ball!" Ignoring all the possible subtext in those orders, Ryu went along with his job, randomly fiddling with the red/white ball and unknowingly creating the first Ultimate, All-Powerful Secret Weapon that had enough fire power to wipe out the entire galaxy. Of course, this has nothing to do with the story but I thought it was an interesting fact.
Anyway, in other words, Ryu was busy. He usually was - tonight was no different. He didn't really mind being busy, because that was his job, and it kept him from brooding over such things as flying fighters into stuff, which was more than a little disturbing.
He thought about that a lot. It never struck him as very ominous.
>>>>>>
There was also a chef aboard White Base. He bears utterly no significance to our story.
>>>>>>
Now it's all nice and dandy that we've been introduced the two main characters on White Base. However, much as these two kick so much ass, it's time to move on to the other characters. Right now, all you need to remember is that Ryu and Bright were soldiers on the confusing ship known as White Base/Trojan Horse/Wooden Horse, and that this ship was going somewhere and no one noticed the Zeon (that's the "rebellion" thingie faction) ships following them. Why?
Probably because no one bothered to take a look over their shoulders or they would have seen the enemy ships only a few yards away. It's not that hard to sneak up on Federal soldiers. Duh. That's why the big, huge Federation has such a hard time beating the crap out of the smaller Duchy of Zeon. It's the Star Wars Empire-Rebellion syndrome, but with giant robots.
Actually, the Zeon ships were from the police force: they were frantically trying to get the ridiculously huge White Base to pull over, to no avail. One of the Pegasus-class ship's brake lights were broken and they were merely trying to point it out. Don't we love our friendly cops in green?
Back to the story!
Now, let's leave these two characters behind for a while and focus on a colony! Actually, I'm supposed to call it a "Side", but it looks like a space colony to me, so that's what it's gonna be. Anyway, there were a bunch of these things floating around Earth because someone thought it would be pretty cool to have 'em. They were numbered for cataloguing uses, but it shouldn't have been that hard to remember all of them, since there weren't that many to begin with.
We must turn to a specific one, one known only as Side 7. This sounds terribly mysterious, which is why a good number of our other main characters enter here. Kinda makes sense...I guess.
In Side 7, there was this short, plucky, and inevitably whiny fifteen year old. He bore a surprising resemblance to a certain Jedi: both had these funky 70's haircuts, both were characters that had very little significance until they hooked up with the underdog factions and both got to do some serious ass-kicking. Both had these ridiculously slashy moments with the older, side character and we know that somehow, both are going to develop these neat mental super powers.
Cool.
But not cool enough to be badass. Y'see, this kid was called Amuro Ray. We know he's the hero and protoganist of this story because 1) he's fifteen 2) he's the best looking of the teenagers in the show 3) he has way too many angsty scenes and 4) is asking for a wake-up bitch slap. Main characters just can't be badass. It's a proven fact.
Amuro lived in Side 7 with his weird father: by a seemingly bizarre turn of events, his parents had seperated and he had tagged along with his father to this particular Side - which (by yet another seemingly bizarre turn of events) was the destination of the White Base/Wooden Horse/Trojan Horse (that was, of course, neither wooden nor Trojan). What a coincidence!
....
Okay, whatever. Besides Amuro, there were these other characters that didn't happen to have as much screen time but thought they deserved as much recognition, so I guess I better introduce them as well. First up!
Sayla Mass: a French medic and a girl possessing gravity-defying blond hair with a "mysterious" (insert sarcastic cough *here*) past!
Mirai Yashima: Don't know what exactly she does, but I think she has this thing with flying stuff. Not a good match with Ryu!
Kai Shidan: the beady-eyed Puerte Rican guy that looks an awful lot like a weasel: but he's a good guy! Scary!
Hayato: Don't even know his last name: the kid you keep thinking is gonna die every episode! Note to self: possible "partner" for Ryu...¬_¬
Three war orphans: Don't know their names, don't care, don't even like children! Mostly here to provide unnecessary whining!
And last of all....
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... ... ... ...
...
...
...
... ... ... ... ...
...
... ... ... ...
...
...
...
...
... ... ... ...
G s e e i t
u
n
d
a
m
Salt, along with some subliminal messaging! Ah, didn't that feel good? Can't forget the salt or the commerical crap: salt makes the world go round, a lesson that should be learned, as well as hinting to more foreshadowing. Everyone loves a quick commerical break and a little suspense, which leads into:
Will the White Base/Wooden Horse/Trojan
Horse make it to Side 7? Will they ever notice the Zeon cops behind
them? Will they ever replace that broken brake light? How many White
Base personel does it take to change a lightbulb anyway? Does anyone even
care?
Game Over or Continue?
>>>>>
Trying to slow down
the pace from the last one. Appreciate the three reviews I got: just want
to say thanks to those that read what I wrote - you guys encouraged me
to add more and attempt to do the actual anime part. Don't know if this
is as humorous as the first chapter: but hey, I tried. ^_^; This probably
makes sense to those who've seen most of UC Gundam: such as the salt reference,
bitch slaps to Amuro and Ryu's core-fighting "fears".
Well, that's it. Please take a look at my other fanfics if you like Generator Gawl or MSTs if you've got time to kill. Comments, suggestions, flames, feel free to e-mail me at shampoo_famira@yahoo.com or AIM me at S Duo Maxwell 02. Oh, and if people like what they say, please put "Continue" in your review: if you don't, than say "Game Over" in your flame. ^_^ Always wanted to do this with that little trippy phrase.
- Famira Damaris
*Avid
Yamcha fan
* Bright
Noah and Char Aznable Supporter