It's Called a Tribute
by Famira Damaris
Disclaimer: Feh, don't own Gundam. Wish I did...I'd be able to glomp
onto Bernie, Bright, Char and Camille! *huggles a group of plushees*
Author's Notes: Fourth installation of this little odd series. Yes, I
know the Prologue is completely false, so I'd rather not have people telling me
it was THIS or THAT way, when I didn't even bother researching into it (such as
the Zaku pilots: no, their real names are NOT Joe) :p Anywaays....
Shounen-ai, shojo-ai and
other stuff running amuck. This is really just random stupidity,
so...er...yeah. ¬¬
More on Amuro, blah blah blah and on with the fic!
And to the tribute part, to the writer that
inspired me: thanks.
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It's Called the Tennis Ball
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Side 7 has, or rather, had a problem. It was basically this: everyone was angry. Maybe it was because of the lack of explosions. Maybe it was because it was utterly boring. It might have even been the fact that there was a tiny hole in the colony's side and that it was a widely known fact that a cubic foot of oxygen drained out every month. That certainly explained the random bouts of lightheadedness that everyone experienced at least once a day.
But, despite all this futile pondering, none of these were true except for the hole in the colony. In fact, the only reason everyone was angry was because it was so darn fun.
This particular day was, as already explained, pretty usual. Normal, even. You could see the city curling up in the sky through the break in the clouds, there weren't any random bouts of rain, a Top Secret Battleship was going to be docking to pick up the Top Secret Giant Robot parts, and three Zakus were presently trying to figure a way to sneak into the colony in a way that was quiet-like, yet impressive.
Yup. All in all, a pretty normalish day.
Because of the Top Secret Battleship - which everyone in the colony knew about - an evacuation had been ordered. Of course, no one bothered to listen at first - after all, they heard that damned siren thousands of times - what was one more time?
So you can probably imagine their immense surprise when the three Zakus dropped in on them.
The three Zakus sailed through the air, the green Mobile Suits surprisingly graceful as they descended. If anyone had been watching, they would have looked pretty in a way that a stopped up sink doesn't. The trio of Zakus flew down toward a nearby hillside, covered with a carpet of trees. They were led by Joe 02, the captain and Joe 01 following closely behind in perfect formation. If it was one thing cannon fodder excel at, it's looking flashy at the most inappropriate times. Inappropriate because it usually means that the said cannon fodder will be paying an unexpected visit to the Big Guy Upstairs.
Today they were looking spectacularly flashy, their giant robots glinting impressively in the light and looking big and stuff.
The three pilots angled their green Mobile Suits for a landing, looking even twice as flashy. Several things happened then, all of which bear little relevance to the main plot: first of all, Joe 02 was struck with a particularly strong sense of ominous foreboding (an image of screaming mimes brandishing sporks and mechanical pencils assailed him, courtesy of his overactive imagination) and he landed not-too-gracefully on the slope, the Zaku tripping and landing with a squelch face first into the mud - immediately losing any respect onlookers might have held for the lost impressiveness. Joe 01 immediately went down after his partner, his Zaku ploughing into the other Mobile Suit's foot and causing him to topple ridiculously over after Joe 02. The captain also followed suit, but he kept face - so to speak - even though it looked incredibly silly to see the three one-eyed Zakus go tumbling down the hillside. Which they proceeded to do, the great green mess ripping a large trough down the forested mountain and raising up a giant cloud of muck and dust, along with a healthy helping of park trees, completing botching their entrance.
In fact, they made so much noise that their cover should have been blown. But no one noticed - the people of Side 7 were that oblivious. They were also too busy being angry and irritated to take much notice of a new pipe line being dug through the mountainside: though they would have plenty of time to be astonished later on.
It was a few minutes before the three Zeon suits skidded to an unimpressive, silly, and utterly laughable stop; narrowly avoiding flying right off the cliff not too far away. Joe 01 was the first to get his Mobile Suit to its feet, looking rightfully pissed at having his one moment in the spotlight ruined.
"What the hell?" he demanded hotly.
A sheepishly silence from Joe 02, "Sorry...I, uh, tripped."
"No shit!" Joe 01 exploded, three and a half times as hotly as before. He went off on a short rant regarding everything about Joe 02, from his ancestory to his hygiene and ending, almost as an afterthought, with: "What about the Feddies? Now everyone knows we're here 'cause of you!"
The captain, who had pulled his Zaku II into a kneeling position, shook his head. No, the "Feddies" (which was just some nifty word that the animators thought would be pretty cool jargon for Earth Federation soldiers or whatever) hadn't seen them, and no one noticed their louder-than-the-depths-of-hell arrival. All took a moment of hushed silence, quite aware that this was a small miracle in itself.
After the appropriate thirteen seconds of silence, Joe 01 got back onto business, finally noticing the base that was only a stone's throw from their position. He soon came to the brilliant deduction that this was - no, had to be - the miltary base/installation/thingie they were looking for. He congratulated himself for the discovery and decided it was high time to state the obvious:
"Hey, ain't that our target, Cap'n?" he asked. The captain started to shake his head, decided to nod it instead and ended up doing some strange little maneuver that Joe 01 assumed was a half-assed version of a nod, "So that's the Feddie's Military Base Installation Thingie. Don't look so top secret to me."
"That's probably because it isn't." Joe 02 said helpfully. "It's the Top Secret Giant Robot(s) that're top secret."
Joe 02's Zaku moved its giant hand in front of its chest. A gray hatch started to hiss open and decided to jam on the Zeon pilot before it was even halfway open - it took several kicks for it to smoothly slide the rest of the way open. Joe 02 stepped out, the face plate sliding back into his helmet: this did little but make his face look more flesh colored, instead of a green hew. However, unsurprisingly, he didn't look that much different from his comrades. He held up some binoculars and took a nice, long gander at the base. It was made with concrete and other nice stuff, and even had a cheerful smiley face painted on the flat top to brighten anyone's day. In fact, just about everything on the base had a smiley face - the tankers (for explosions, of course), the tanks, and the jets. Overall, a chipper, perky place with a personnel of not-so chipper, perky people. A few large trucks were parked nearby and...
"...Hey, that's it!" said Joe 02, making the connection between the fact that this was a Military Base Installation thingie, it was Earth Federation, and there were what looked amazingly like giant robot parts being transferred from the trucks to an elevator lift. He blinked, noticing that the siren that had been screaming since their arrival had suddenly shut off, "Wonder where everyone is?"
"Musta been evacuated. Or something. Whatever," put in Joe 01 irately, steadily ignoring the girl running down the street a few blocks away, "Come on, let's go kick some Feddie ass."
"..." said the captain in hearty approval. He was privately hoping that the two would get shot down or something and give him some peace and quiet.
Frau Bo ran frantically down the street. She ran for a variety of reasons, most of which aren't of any particular interest to the audience. Maybe it was because she felt she needed the exercise. Maybe she'd even seen the invading Zeon Mobile Suits. Hell, maybe she was just doing it because she had nothing better to do. Maybe it was all those things...
But it wasn't. Oh no, this couldn't be farther from the truth, which was this: she'd heard the beckoning siren-call of the script. The brown-haired girl somehow knew the story was falling behind its schedule, and she now was hauling her cute little ass down the paved street so she could get the main characters all in one place. Of course, she was in ridiculously good shape and it showed - she lived several miles away from the boy she called her "neighbor" and she'd ran all the way from her house to his at breakneck speed. She jogged across the lawn and almost slipped on the wet grass before regaining her balance. She didn't unceremoniously fall however, instead pounding up the stairs and letting herself into the house, RPG-style.
In other words, barging right in, uninvited.
Anyway, she had a Mission, one of Importance and Other Fun Stuff. Frau went first to the kitchen, and lifted up the coverlet of what looked like a plate of food. Indeed, it was food, but the coverlet had a thick layer of dust, which meant it'd been sitting out for quite a while. It might have been days since the food had seen any light. Or was it weeks? Or even months?
Try several years.
"Am-ur-ro..." Frau sighed in exaggeration to no one in particular. She let the dust-covered napkin drop back onto the solidified food and headed toward the stairs to the second floor. She knew she had a tight schedule and she really didn't have time for this. So she pounded up those stairs, not stopping onto she pounded right into the (curiously) one room at the end of the staircase.
A boy was sitting before a desk, hunched over and fixing something not even worth mentioning. He had a head of curly brown hair and typically angsty eyes that were busy staring at whatever he was working on. His blue-jacketed back was to the door, and he didn't seem to notice Frau barge into his room. So Frau barged in a second time; in addition to that, she was waving her arms over her head for good measure after she'd kicked the door in with a deafening bang against the wall.
Boom!
"Oh...uh...hey...um..." he blinked at her owlishly. He apparently couldn't for the life of him recall her name - come to think of it, he didn't even know who she was and was presently wondering just what the hell this stranger was doing in his house.
"Frau Bo - I'm only your neighbor, Amuro" Frau huffed.
"Um...I…er…forgot......sorry..." Amuro muttered, not sounding the least bit sorry at all.
Frau huffed again, "Well, what're you doing here? Didn't you hear the siren-thingamabob?"
Amuro shook his head, his face wearing a fascinating mixture between angst and pure confusion. He hadn't the slightest idea just what was going on, and it didn't help that people were barging right into his house (and his room) and asking such confusing questions. Siren? The thought wandered about, not quite connecting with anything useful. He didn't know what a siren was, did he? It couldn't be that wailing noise with the crazy blinking lights that sounded about two times a month, could it? Not the voice on the loudspeakers babbling stuff about "Evacuation" and other nonsense either?
Frau made a face at the blank expression on Amuro's features, which, if possible, was getting even blanker as time passed, "Look, we've got to go. Now. I don't know where. But off we go!" As she had been speaking, the brunette had been sidling closer and closer to the curly headed boy. "Come along now! We've a lot of stuff to do and not much time to do it."
"Huh?" Amuro said intelligently. He'd completely lost track of the conversation.
The young girl made an exasperated noise, glancing around for something to vent her increasing stress on. Her eyes fell on Haro...
[Author's Note: Which, in explanation, is supposed to be a robot that Amuro made but really looks more like a giant tennis ball with eyes painted on. But that's beside the point.]
...and she suddenly had this terrible urge to kick it. The green round thing was bobbling up and down trying to get everyone's attention, and being a general nuisance as it rolled around and got tangled up in anyone's legs and tripped them. Frau glanced from the robot to Amuro's (rather conveniently open) window, wondering how far the damned thing would fly. Of course you had to consider wind resistance, and then there was the whole aerodynamics thing...if the wind was really bad, it probably wouldn't fly very far, but if it was Just So, then maybe...
Now, while Frau was debating over the matter of relieving her stress on Haro, Amuro had been staring at the girl. He was still waiting for the answer to his rather unintelligent question and had noticed Frau turning ominously to his beloved robot. The fifteen year old hastily got off his seat:
"Okay, let's go! No time to lose!" Amuro said briskly and hastily swept Haro up in his arms before Frau could inflict any physical damage to it. "I'll drive."
Frau looked mildly disappointed for a moment, but nodded and went downstairs, satisfied that her Mission was nearing completion. And then she suddenly wondered why a fifteen year old would know how to drive and her spirits dropped somewhat. Oh, crap, this is going to suck, was really the only thought she nursed as she headed downstairs.
Hopefully Amuro wouldn't do something completely idiotic and drive them into a tree or a random ditch – she still had a lot of things on her To-Do list and dying before the anime was over wasn't exactly one of them.
Somewhere else of no great importance, a Zeon ship was huddling behind an asteroid not too far from this rather angry Side. It was a nice pretty green color and, for some unexplained reason, had a bridge that looked surprising like Darth Vader's head. Disappointingly, it wasn't quite as badass, though it came close. Of course, close doesn't cut it, but whatever. Anyway, ignoring the narrator's completely unnecessary monologue, we will take an agonizingly slow pan of the screen toward the bridge of this ship….…
"What do you mean, 'we ran out of red paint'?!"
"Well, y'see, Commander Aznable, we, uh…"
"Screw the excuses!" The sound of someone smacking his forehead. The point of this was in fact utterly useless, because instead of jarring some sense into his head, the speaker merely ended giving himself a headache. He wisely refrained from doing it a second time, now nursing a monster migraine. "First of all, where is the paint? How much of it is left? And what else do we have?"
Someone sheepishly scuffed the floor with a boot. "We ended up using it in a practical joke on Giren, probably only one can, and we've only got baby pink."
"A prank? You used my favorite color on a prank?" Another explosion.
The soldier hastily tried to redeem himself, "Well…er…it was a very good prank, if you know what I mean." He abruptly found a spot on the ceiling very interesting, looking everywhere but at the higher-ranking officer. "And pink's a very lovely color, sir. Y'know, I hear it's a hit with the ladies…"
Char Aznable was rubbing wearily at the imaginary eyebrows of his white mask. Not this again.
"You know I don't swing that way, Jackson," he sighed. This was really too much for him – first, his uniform had shrunk in the wash, then the Trojan-Horse-That-Wasn't had gone off and disappeared somewhere on him (despite the frantic orders to pull over), and now this whole fiasco with the paint. "We've been over this, soldier. You go straight, I go curved. Is that simple enough for you?"
"Yes, sir."
"And you know I can't be very badass in a pink Zaku."
"Yes, sir."
"Do you hear the word 'pink' anywhere in the 'Red Comet'?"
There was a moment of delay as Jackson thought very hard about this. "…Uh……no, sir."
Char sighed. The man didn't get it – he was clearly a lost cause. His headache was getting bigger and bigger just listening to the officer. "Forget it." He began to dismiss Jackson, but thought better of it, beckoning him back; "First of all, you and your buddies are going to buy me that paint back once we get to Side 7. Second, I want your men to get to work on painting my Zaku. I'm a main character, after all – it won't do for me to be mistaken for some simple grunt." The commander wondered if he should get some aspirin or something. "I'll just have to deal with pink."
"Yes, sir."
Jackson beat a hasty retreat as Char flopped down onto the command chair. He wasn't having a good day today, and he seriously doubted it would get much better as it progressed. Not to mention that his shrunken uniform was giving him such a wedgie…
…Before we continue any further into this new character, it's a good idea to elaborate on the man known as Char Aznable. Obviously he was the "villain" of the anime – he was smart, handsome, and…uh…
….Well, er, now that I think about it, that's really about it. He was simply badass. Or he would have been, if things had been going better for him today. His uniform was bugging the hell out of him; the pants had shrunk down into tights (embarrassing), and his tunic was clinging to his body a little too tightly for his own comfort (some of the crew were throwing him appreciative glances). Not that he minded the attention, but he'd rather get those looks from better looking people. A nice uke, maybe.
Despite how appealing the idea of jumping in the sack with an uke sounded, he really just wanted something to take his mind of his incredibly crappy day.
By some utterly amazing coincidence, the same Side that this Zeon ship was going was the very same Side that the elusive White Base was headed for. Char very quickly found something to distract him, though he was less than pleased with his now pink Zaku.
It was very hard to instill fear in the hearts of his enemies when he had to look so very, very stupid.
Due mostly to the laziness of the narrator, it is sufficient to say that between the trio of Zakus making a raid on the base and the destined meeting between the Zeon ship and the White Base, many things went boom. And stuff exploded, much to the audience's delight.
And it was good.
Game Over Or Continue?
Heh, I lied. Looks like I'll just finish the episode in the next chapter. Sorry it took so long to upload :p Again, this deviates from the anime quite a bit, but whatever. *shrugs*
Suggestions, feedback, death threats, reviews, or requests, feel free to e-mail me at shampoo_famira@yahoo.com or IM me at S Duo Maxwell 02. Thanks for reading. ^^
- Famira Damaris