Lifetimes
By Carla
DISCLAIMERS: All the characters and locations belong to DC or Warner, I'm just playing around with them. Helena-oriented, but other characters play a big role as well.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay guys, this is it, I finally finished this story. Thank you all for the great comments, your reviews made it the more fun writing it. So, here it goes, have fun!
Chapter X: Healing
"Mommy..." Barbara Gordon and Selina Kyle stopped their conversation and turned their attention to the four-year-old girl in standing in front of them, wearing pajamas covered with bunnies and rubbing her eyes. Barbara had to smile, Helena was so cute. It was around 9:00 p.m. Barbara was visiting Selina and Helena, and planned to hang out for a couple of days. Barbara liked checking up on them. She and Selina were catching up after they had put Helena to bed.
"Hey, what are you doing up?" Selina stood up and walked to her daughter.
"I don't feel good..." the child whined.
"Of course you don't, Helena, you ate candies all day!" Selina laughed.
"I said I was sorry..." Barbara commented. She didn't mean to feed the kid with all the junk food in the city, but Helena was so happy and she didn't see her that often, and apparently she was a loser for the littler girl.
"Never mind," Selina answered before addressing her daughter again, "Is it too bad, honey?" Selina carried the child in her arms.
"Yeah. My tummy hurts."
"Okay, let's give you something for that tummy. Barbara? Second drawer on the top?"
"Sure." Barbara watched as Selina took her daughter into her bedroom and then went to the drawer, where she found everything to make some tea for Helena. As she got to work, she couldn't help but feel... surprised? She knew Selina had turned her life around, but it was still weird, a little girl with a tummy ache and Catwoman aren't two concepts you usually associate.
She could understand why Selina was so crazy about her daughter, the kid was amazing. She was gorgeous, funny, really amicable, sweet. Barbara enjoyed spending time with her. Still, part of her considered it her duty. Helena was Bruce Wayne's daughter; even if Selina was ready to avoid the subject for dear life, that fact would never change. And she, Barbara Gordon, Batgirl, was keeping this huge secret from her mentor. She had to believe it was all for the greater good, and she also had to make sure this kid grew up good and happy, not resenting the absence of her father. Otherwise, she would have to admit that she had made a big mistake in lying to Bruce, and she wasn't ready to even contemplate the possibility.
She carried the tray with the tea back to Helena's room. Mother and daughter didn't notice her presence. Barbara took the opportunity to watch them interact for a little while.
"And five bars of candy, and chocolate, and then a milkshake, and fries, and more candy..." apparently, Helena was ratting her out.
"How could you eat all that?"
"I don't know."
"But you're such a little kid, where did you put all that stuff?" Selina asked as she tickled her daughter a bit, the girl laughed.
"I was hungry."
"I'll say. Take this as a lesson, Helena, you can't go and eat everything in sight."
"Yes, I can."
"No, you can't."
"Yes, I can."
"No, you can't."
"Yes, I can." Helena was now smiling.
"You're annoying, you know that?"
"No, I'm not." Barbara saw Selina smiling as well. Five minutes ago Helena was complaining about her tummy and now she was laughing. She could see her visibly relax whenever her mother was in the room, Helena sought Selina's arms all the time, she always wanted to sit in her lap and sleep in her bed. Yesterday Barbara had seen Helena go through her mother's closet trying all her clothes, huge for a girl her size. She wondered what it was like, how Selina felt about this. Seeing the former Catwoman now, Barbara could tell that she was happy. Maybe she would understand it all better when she had a kid of her own, if she ever did.
"Hey guys," Barbara finally announced herself and carried the tray to Helena's bed, "Here's the tea."
"What do you say, Hel?" Selina said.
"Thank you, Barbara."
"You're welcome, sweetie, now drink it all." Helena smiled and started drinking the tea. Barbara stayed with them until Selina told her daughter to try and get some sleep. Barbara left the room, Selina stayed with the child until she was asleep.
Barbara was reading on the couch when Selina finally came out of the room an hour later.
"Is she sleeping?" Barbara asked.
"Yeah, once she stopped talking!" Selina laughed.
"She's got quite a mouth on her."
"Tell me about it. But seriously Barbara, you can't buy her everything she asks for, trust me on this, she has no limits, she will eat candy until she explodes."
"Yeah, I know, but she gives me that look and asks nicely..."
"I know, that's her way, she has you all wrapped around her little finger already."
"Okay, I promise to try and not make your kid sick anymore." She joked. They remained in silence for a little while.
"So... did I pass the test?" Selina finally asked, half-joking, half-seriously.
"What do you mean?"
"Come on Barbara, you're checking on us to see if she's growing up alright, I don't take it personally."
"Don't you?"
"I understand your reasons, let's leave it at that. What's the verdict?"
"You're doing a great job."
"It's easy, she's a great kid."
"She's also pretty smart..."
"Just come out and ask already, alright?"
"Fine, has she asked about Bruce?"
"No. She's a kid."
"And when she does?"
"I'll deal with it. I know what you think about this, but this is the best for her."
"Do you miss him?"
"Of course I miss him... But that's not important anymore, Helena is."
"Even if it tears you and Bruce apart, Selina?"
"Even so. You don't get it, Barbara. You can't. She's my daughter, nothing is more important than that. My main duty, the reason I'm alive, is to keep her safe and happy, to raise her to be the best person she can be."
"She loves you very much."
"I know."
"Seriously, she looks up to you like you're a God or something."
"Now you're overdoing it."
"I'm not. I just can't help but wonder what's that like, you know? Loving a child so much, having a kid adore you like that... I don't know, it's just amazing."
"You really want to have a maternal-kind conversation with me?" Selina raised an eyebrow.
"Well, you ARE a mother."
"Yeah, but I'm not that sweet." Selina smiled.
"Neither am I." Barbara laughed, before turning on the TV.
Barbara Gordon's heart stopped when she heard Huntress' scream. Her computer screen already registered a very weak heartbeat from the perfect signal of the minute before. She knew Huntress was down even before Batman reported it. Not for the first time, she wished Selina Kyle could be here to make her daughter feel better. Not for the first time either, she wished she could make Helena feel better. But this was different, this was deadly, and there was nothing she could do. Huntress was already down.
::I have to get her to the hospital!:: Oracle could read just how worried Batman was in his voice. Her first thought was to tell Batman to bring her to the Clock Tower, but as she read again the vital signs of her young protege staring at her on the screen, Barbara knew she was out of her league. Huntress was collapsing, she needed medical attention and she needed it now. The only problem was explaining how she got hurt... and the big man dressed as a bat carrying her.
"You can't, Batman, you're on uniform."
::I don't care! She's barely breathing!::
"No, Batman... listen to me, take her to Reese, he'll get her to the hospital."
::I'm not leaving her! Not again...::
"I'll send you clothes, just stop arguing and do it, damn it! There's no time, she's dying!" Tears fell down Barbara's eyes as her own words confirmed her greatest fear. Saying it somehow made it so much more real.
::Where is Reese?:: Batman's voice finally came.
"Check your GPS, I'm sending the coordinates now. Reese, do you copy me?"
::Oracle! What the hell happened?! Where's Huntress?::
"Listen to me Reese, Helena was blasted by the Joker. It's bad, Batman is going to your car now, you've got to get her to the hospital before it's too late."
::But... she heals fast...::
Barbara could hear the nervousness in the young detective's voice, there was genuine concern there.
"Joker's a meta, this was no simple attack, it was meant to kill Batman. Just get her to the hospital, please."
::Count on it.::
Barbara had to think straight, there were things to do, steps to take... Helena had to be alright. That damned clown! Hadn't he taken enough from her already? First her legs and now...? Helena was strong, she was a meta, she had been hurt in the past... never like this, never so close to... She had to get to the hospital, she had to be by Helena's side, make sure she would be alright... Barbara was missing something, just wasn't sure what...
The elevator coming up helped her focus. Her friends! She had to tell her friends about Helena. Carolyn Lance and Alfred Pennyworth stepped out of the elevator. They were both smiling, until they saw Barbara's face.
"What happened?" Carolyn asked.
"Joker..." her voice was barely a whisper, "He tried to kill Bruce... and... Helena took the blast."
"Oh my goodness!" Alfred exclaimed, Carolyn remained silent.
"Reese is taking her to the hospital... Alfred, I need you to meet Bruce... give him civilian clothes please."
"Of course, I'm on my way."
She knew the old man was as much in shock as she was, but he was one of the only people Bruce would tolerate near him right now. She just looked at her hands as Alfred left in a rush.
"Should we go to the hospital?" Carolyn asked softly.
"I... Dinah and Dick..."
"They can go on their own... Barbara, do you want to go to the hospital now?" Carolyn took her hands in her own.
"It's really bad," she blurted, "She could die, Carolyn."
"Barbara... I'm so sorry."
Barbara stared into space for a few seconds before finally making up her mind. "Nightwing? Canary?" she started her com system again.
::Here, Oracle. What's up?:: Nightwing answered.
"Listen to me 'Wing: Joker got Huntress, Reese is getting her to the hospital, you two come back to the lair, get changed into civilian clothes and then come to the hospital."
Nothing.
Barbara looked at Carolyn.
Silence.
::How bad?:: Nightwing finally asked.
"Really bad," she answered.
::Is Helena going to be okay?:: This time it was Dinah's voice.
"We hope so. We're all going to the hospital already."
::Yeah, go Babs! The kid needs you. We'll be there as soon as possible.::
"Okay." Barbara cut the communication, "Let's go." She said. Carolyn nodded and they left for the hospital.
Bruce Wayne was going out of his mind. He couldn't be just standing there, waiting for his clothes. For all he knew his child was dying! NO! She couldn't be... She was stronger than that... He shouldn't be standing there. But it was for the best, last thing Helena needed right now was tabloids with news about a guy dressed as a bat. He had to wait. It was always like this, the mission demanded for his mind to remain calm, for him to think clearly... it was just too much. He couldn't lose her, he never got an opportunity to actually get to know her... his daughter. He should be with his daughter, but he couldn't right now, because of the mask. Batman's business always took priority. Not anymore... she was going to make it, and he was going to take care of his daughter, not Batman's daughter, Bruce Wayne's daughter. He was going to make it up for her, he was going to make sure she was never ever hurt again... All she had to do was wake up.
A car stopped by his side. Alfred was driving, he got into the car. The old butler handed him a bag with his clothes.
"You can get change on our way, Master Bruce."
"Get to the hospital as fast as you can," Bruce muttered.
"Of course." He started driving, "I'm so sorry, son." His voice surprised Bruce.
"It's not your fault, Alfred. That blast was meant for me."
"She'll be okay, she's a fighter."
Bruce didn't answer, he just prayed Alfred was right.
"Go! Quick!" Dick said as the elevator stopped. To her credit, Dinah Lance practically flew to her bedroom in order to get changed.
He himself started tearing at his costume as frantically as he had ever undressed. Damn it! He should have stayed... he could've helped, he had more experience facing Joker than Helena and he was certainly more in control of his emotions at the moment. That's why he hated all the planning and overanalyzing to death Bruce and Barbara were so fond of. This kind of plays should be played by heart, and his heart told him he should have stayed with Batman and Huntress.
Too late now. No time to think and rethink his actions. This was the hard part about being a hero. He was used to take action. That was the kind of man he was. That was the kind of man he had been trained to be. It was a good mindset, it worked on the field. Sadly, it was just maddening in a situation like this. All he could do was run to the hospital, sit on a chair and wait for some doctor to come out of the ER and tell him if his sister was dead or alive.
He was not made for that.
He couldn't help her. No matter what, he couldn't. He was Nightwing, protector of Bludhaven, he was once a member of the Flying Graysons, he was a superhero... and he couldn't do a damn thing.
They had to get to the hospital. Now.
"Dinah?! You ready?" he asked, now fully dressed.
"Yeah. Let's go." Dick nodded. This was a brave kid. She had fought valiantly to rescue Alfred, she had survived her own pain to became a hero, and now she was pretending her eyes weren't red and that she had not been crying, so Dick wouldn't notice. As they got back into the elevator, Dick put his arm around her shoulders.
"It's going to be okay." He said with all the conviction he could summon. She just nodded.
Reese closed his eyes. He was in the waiting room, he had been in the waiting room for a while now. He didn't remember ever driving as fast as he had tonight. After Oracle's instructions, it took about two minutes for Batman to appear in front of him. Helena was unconscious in his arms. Even with the mask, he could see the worry in the older man's eyes. Reese had taken Huntress in his arms, slowly, trying not to hurt her.
Oracle was right, it had been really bad. Huntress had been barely breathing and every now and then she had convulsed a bit. She had been so cold... It had been shocking. Never in his life he had met anyone so full of life as Helena Kyle, she was amazing, she was full of energy... But she had laid shattered in his car.
Reese had driven like hell, and when he had reached the hospital, he had carried her in his arms, running until he had got the doctors attention. He had simply said that she had been electrocuted, and then the doctors had rushed her away. He had followed her until the nurses had stopped him.
That had been when he had been sent to the waiting room.
She was struggling for her life in the very same building and he was in the bloody waiting room. What those doctors didn't realize was that they didn't only have Helena's life in their hands, they had his as well.
Could she actually die? He had never considered it as a possibility before, she was so good on the field and so strong... She could die. Helena, his lover, could die. What if she did? What would he do then? Could he take it?
The answer was clear in his head as his hands began to shake.
He couldn't.
He needed her.
He had become used to her presence, he missed her when he wasn't around. All his day he waited for the night to come, because he knew he would see her. Sometimes they wouldn't talk at all, most of the nights they would fight about something, but he just loved her presence.
Love.
Were they there yet?
Helena didn't strike him as the kind of girl who enjoyed the whole I-love-you and candy-eyes thing. But he had no problem admitting that he was falling in love with the gorgeous vigilante. And he didn't want to lose her, not now, not when they were just starting to open up to each other.
It was so damned unfair! It just couldn't be happening, they weren't even going to get a chance... She had to pull through.
"Please Helena..." he whispered, "Don't leave me now... hang on..."
"Where is she?!" Bruce Wayne surprised him. He was wearing a suit and his expression was unreadable. Still, his voice denoted just how scared he was.
"The doctors took her, they haven't come out yet." Alfred sat by his side as Bruce started pacing the room."
"How long is it going to take!" Wayne muttered. Reese didn't answer at first, just stared at the older man. He had blue eyes, just like Helena, as well as dark hair. She was an athletic man for his age, with make perfect sense since this wasn't just any ordinary man, this was Batman.
This was also the man who's presence had affected Huntress in ways he didn't imagine possible.
"She'll make it," Reese finally said, "That's just the way she is. And when she wakes up, she should get some peace, some rest." Bruce's eyes were now locked with his, "Are you going to be able to give her that?"
"You want to know if I'm leaving her after this?"
"Yeah. Because if you are, then it would be better if you disappear now. She needs security, to know who's going to be here in the long run."
Silence. Both men just stared at each other. Reese knew he was probably taking attributions that weren't his, but to hell with it, he cared about Helena and he wanted to help her get her life together.
"You care a lot about my daughter, don't you, Detective...?"
"Jesse Reese."
"Right, Reese."
"Yeah, I do. I want to see her happy."
"So do I. I want to stay with her, Reese. I have failed her in the past, but this time I want to be by her side. I want to get to know her, to care for her, to love her and have her love me, so maybe one day I can deserve to be called her father, not just by genetics."
"You mean that?"
"More that I've ever meant anything in my whole life."
Reese saw the determination in Wayne's eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. Good. He seemed a decent guy, maybe he was just was Helena needed to get herself together.
"She's going to be okay," he repeated.
"Yes," Bruce whispered, "And then we're taking good care of her... both of us."
Reese just smiled. Yeah, they were going to take care of her. She would be fine.
It took around six hours before any information was given to them about Helena's condition. Barbara took another deep breath, she was sitting in her chair, eyes closed, leaning her head against the wall. Dick was sitting by her side, he had taken her hand in his, and she was grateful for the contact and the comfort her touch sent to her. Reese had now taken the floor and was pacing back and forth. Carolyn was sitting on a chair, Dinah was next to her, with her head in her mother's lap. Finally, Bruce was standing, a bit apart from the rest of the group, he was leaning against a wall, his eyes wide open, but staring at nothing. He had not said a word in hours. She was growing impatient, they all were. What could be taking them so long? Why hadn't anyone come out yet to tell them what was wrong with Helena? Damn it! What was going on in there? She was the living Oracle, she knew everything, there was no problem she couldn't fix, except this one.
"Are you Helena Kyle's family?" a young doctor finally came to them. Barbara was about to jump him with queries about her protege's health, but the doctor's question sort of shocked everyone. It was obvious, it took a couple of seconds without anyone saying a thing, the doctor was just staring at them. She was about to speak but Bruce beat her to it.
"I'm Bruce Wayne, Helena's father." Barbara didn't miss the look in the doctor's eyes. She couldn't say she was surprised, after all, this was arguably the richest man in New Gotham, one of the richest in the world, who everyone knew had disappeared years ago, standing in a hospital claiming the woman under the doctor's care as his daughter. To his credit, the doctor assumed his most professional stance at once.
"Mr. Wayne, I'm Doctor Harris, I took care of your daughter." He shook hands with Bruce, "Helena was severely electrocuted... truth be told most of her organs should be burned by now... but she's healing quite fast."
"She's young," Bruce offered as a way of explanation.
"Well, that's in her favor. Still, we have to work a little on her kidney and her liver, she should be alright now. She's going to have to take it easy for a while, but other than that, I think your daughter is going to pull through."
"Thank you." Barbara heard Bruce whisper as he shook hands with the doctor again. She didn't remember the last time she had felt so relieved. Helena was going to be okay! Thank God!
"She's resting now, we put her in the ICU just in case... you can see her if you want, one at a time that's it and only for a few minutes, she really needs her rest."
"I..." Bruce was about to agree when he suddenly stopped. He seemed to be thinking about it for a little while, before taking a step back, "Actually, I think Miss Gordon should go in first." Barbara though she had heard it wrong? Bruce wanted her to go instead of him? This was his daughter, she knew him, she knew he was aching to go inside her room and check and recheck every single machine to make sure she was stable. Why was he doing this?
"Bruce, she's your daughter..." she started.
"Yes, and make no mistake, Barbara, I am going to be her father and one day I will earn the right to go and sit by her bedside. But right now, she needs comfort, one I can't give her quite just yet. She would want it to be you, Barbara, you know it. She needs you more than she needs me right now."
Barbara could've cried. She was dying to see Helena, but she would've never stood in Bruce's way. But he wanted her to go in first.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Go." Bruce smiled, something he rarely, if ever, did.
Barbara followed the doctor into Helena's room. After she entered, the door closed behind her. Now she was alone with Huntress. The younger woman was lying in the bed, eyes closed, machines around her, tubes on her arms and her nose. Barbara made a quick scan of the machines... Helena was going to be alright, hell, knowing Helena Kyle, they would have to tie her to the bed the moment she opened her eyes, so she wouldn't go on her nightly sweeps.
"Hi there," Barbara whispered as she approached Helena's unconscious form. Barbara tentatively took one of her hands in hers. She wasn't use to the seeing her like this, limp, almost lifeless, what could've happened... But it didn't, and that was the important thing. "You just can't stay out of trouble, can you?" Barbara smiled, she wished Helena could smile back to her. "Promise not to tell Dick, but I think I understand now why your father clipped his Robin wings." It was meant as a joke, but she was acutely aware it wasn't funny at all. "I'm sorry, Helena, I'm so sorry. I never meant to put you in a position like this... you've got to believe me when I say I don't care about you being the Huntress, I care about you for who you are." Barbara looked down, "I was trying to take care of you, that's all I ever wanted, this was simply the only way I knew how. But now it's alright. You are going to be okay. When you wake up, you will get a second chance to be with your dad, he's a great man, one true hero, in every sense of the word. Your life is going to change, maybe you'll get to be happy at last." She caressed Helena's cold forehead, "You have no idea how much you've given me in all these years. You were the main reason I didn't come crumbling down after what Joker did... I couldn't, I had to take care of you. And then, with your help, I could keep being a hero... I know you feel like you have to help everyone... I don't want to feel that with me anymore, you have already done more than your fair share, I want you to be your own person now." For some reason, she had problems saying the next part. She finally convinced herself to continue, "And I want you to be with Bruce, he's your father, he's your family. I want that for you, Helena."
Barbara knew why she was having so much trouble doing this. In a sense, she had to give her up. Helena had first been Selina's, Barbara knew that, she remembered it. But when Selina had died and Bruce hadn't been around, Helena had become hers. Barbara considered Helena her family, and right now she felt as if she was giving up her child. Helena and Bruce would need a lot of space and privacy to get to know each other, and to become father and daughter in every sense of the word... Barbara would have to take a step back, or else she would be on their way.
It was one of the hardest decisions in her life.
Things were never again going to be the way they once were, when she was the only person Helena felt she could trust and the only person she counted as her family. Barbara knew she would always be a part of Helena's life, she would make sure of it, but Helena's whole existence was in the brink of changing forever. She was happy for Helena, how she couldn't be? But she was a little sad for herself.
She started to leave the room so Bruce could come in and be with her daughter.
"Mom?" a soft voice stopped her in her tracks. She turned to see Helena was still unconscious but was tossing a bit on her bed. She did heal fast. "Mom?" she called again. Barbara wheeled herself back to her side.
"It's a dream, Helena," she whispered. Helena was still tossing a little so Barbara took her hand in hers again. Helena stopped and smiled.
"Mom," she said again. Barbara felt her heart stop, and this time she couldn't help herself when one lonely tear came down her cheek.
"I'm here, love. Go back to sleep. I'll take care of you, always." Helena looked so peaceful right now. Barbara just smiled and decided to stay with her for a bit longer, before calling Bruce.