Deep weird voice as tacky soapie music starts: Through the sands of an hourglass, these are the days of our friggen animorphs. *twee twee twee twee, twe twee twe twee twt twee twwweeeee!* (tacky soapie music)
JENNY: You wet your pants, Jake
JAKE: *suddenly looking very anxious* So you're telling me there's a psychotic psycho killer walking around town?
JENNY: *impatiently, with her hands on her hips* No! She told me to tell you that *she's interrupted by Jake's girly cries*
JAKE: If ... if ... there's a psychotic kiler walking around, then that means we'll all be ... *camera zoom in on Jake's sweaty face as a violin type sound increases and increases (setting the mood, you know)* that means we'll all be ... that means we'll all be ... *don't you hate it the way they repeat stuff?*
AD BREAK!
Now it's time for another author's not by everyone's favorite, Gem Stoned:
I know, the last episode was so weird it hurt. You see, what I do is write the stories while surfing the net a few minutes before uploading them (no beta readers or spell checks. Hahahaha!!!) to give it that lovely "just written" feel to it. Unfortunately, last episode I was influenced by ringing phones and er. my lack in there of of non-writer's block. I don't know why I have J.Lo in the story, but I do know that I'll try to kill her and kill her and kill her again. Thank you very much.
END AD BREAK!
JAKE: that means we'll all be ... that means we'll all be ... killed?
JENNY: *screams* Eek!
JAKE: What, woman, what?
JENNY: Where's Cassie?
JAKE: Why the hell should I care?
JENNY: *through gritted teeth* Where's Cassie!?
JAKE: Oh, sorry, I forgot my lines .... Um, I don't know?
JENNY: *bends down and picks a note off the floor* It's a note!
JAKE: What does it say? What does it say?
*silence*
JENNY: I don't know, I can't read French.
JAKE: That's not French, it's English.
JENNY: Oh well, I can't read her hand writing ... it's SO untidy!
JAKE: It's typed, Jenny!
*Jenny covers her head in shame and cries*
JENNY: Okay, okay! I admit, I can't read! All my life I pimped myself to get people to read and write for me! Heck, the only reason I have credits for "writing my own songs" is because I paid the doorman at my hotel to write a poem for me!!!! Damn you society! Damn you!!!!!
JAKE: Sheesh, you should have just handed me the friggen note! *Jake grabs the note* Oh! It is in French. Darn, I can't read French either.
"I know how to read French," Rachel said.
JAKE: Oh, sure. *Hands Rachel the note*
*Rachel reads the note*
THE NOTE: Dear Jake and everyone. Rachel just killed me and currently I'm hanging out in a bar in Hell with a puppy I killed last week. Have fun and watch out for Rachel.
*Jake looks slightly confused*
JAKE: Hmmmm ...
*Suddenly Jenny screams and Jake spins around to see Rachel holding a knife over Jenny's chest as Jenny continues screaming and claims her monotone voice is "singing"*
*Finally, Rachel stabs Jenny*
RACHEL: That's for dumping P.Diddy!
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for knocking Madonna's record of having the highest debuting single of 2002!
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for "Jenny From The Block" ... I hate that song
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for your silicone butt!
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for being friends with Janet Jackson
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for ... um, ... well, ... I don't know.
*She stabs her again and stands up dusting her hands off*
RACHEL: Oh well, I think that should do it.
JAKE: *shivering behind a box* Are you going to kill me too?
RACHEL: Ofcourse not! You're my cousin. *She looks at Jenny and spits* Besides, I hate that bitch.
JAKE: Yeah, I hate her too.
*They start walking out of the room when suddenly Rachel stabs Jake*
JAKE: *struggling to breath because he has been friggen well stabbed* I ... I thought ... I was your cousin?
*Dzaaaaa tzaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!*
The end of episode 4
Next week on DOOFA: Has Rachel REALLY gone psycho and killed Jake or was it just a plot by the writer to end this soapie. Find out, next week!!!!!
JENNY: You wet your pants, Jake
JAKE: *suddenly looking very anxious* So you're telling me there's a psychotic psycho killer walking around town?
JENNY: *impatiently, with her hands on her hips* No! She told me to tell you that *she's interrupted by Jake's girly cries*
JAKE: If ... if ... there's a psychotic kiler walking around, then that means we'll all be ... *camera zoom in on Jake's sweaty face as a violin type sound increases and increases (setting the mood, you know)* that means we'll all be ... that means we'll all be ... *don't you hate it the way they repeat stuff?*
AD BREAK!
Now it's time for another author's not by everyone's favorite, Gem Stoned:
I know, the last episode was so weird it hurt. You see, what I do is write the stories while surfing the net a few minutes before uploading them (no beta readers or spell checks. Hahahaha!!!) to give it that lovely "just written" feel to it. Unfortunately, last episode I was influenced by ringing phones and er. my lack in there of of non-writer's block. I don't know why I have J.Lo in the story, but I do know that I'll try to kill her and kill her and kill her again. Thank you very much.
END AD BREAK!
JAKE: that means we'll all be ... that means we'll all be ... killed?
JENNY: *screams* Eek!
JAKE: What, woman, what?
JENNY: Where's Cassie?
JAKE: Why the hell should I care?
JENNY: *through gritted teeth* Where's Cassie!?
JAKE: Oh, sorry, I forgot my lines .... Um, I don't know?
JENNY: *bends down and picks a note off the floor* It's a note!
JAKE: What does it say? What does it say?
*silence*
JENNY: I don't know, I can't read French.
JAKE: That's not French, it's English.
JENNY: Oh well, I can't read her hand writing ... it's SO untidy!
JAKE: It's typed, Jenny!
*Jenny covers her head in shame and cries*
JENNY: Okay, okay! I admit, I can't read! All my life I pimped myself to get people to read and write for me! Heck, the only reason I have credits for "writing my own songs" is because I paid the doorman at my hotel to write a poem for me!!!! Damn you society! Damn you!!!!!
JAKE: Sheesh, you should have just handed me the friggen note! *Jake grabs the note* Oh! It is in French. Darn, I can't read French either.
"I know how to read French," Rachel said.
JAKE: Oh, sure. *Hands Rachel the note*
*Rachel reads the note*
THE NOTE: Dear Jake and everyone. Rachel just killed me and currently I'm hanging out in a bar in Hell with a puppy I killed last week. Have fun and watch out for Rachel.
*Jake looks slightly confused*
JAKE: Hmmmm ...
*Suddenly Jenny screams and Jake spins around to see Rachel holding a knife over Jenny's chest as Jenny continues screaming and claims her monotone voice is "singing"*
*Finally, Rachel stabs Jenny*
RACHEL: That's for dumping P.Diddy!
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for knocking Madonna's record of having the highest debuting single of 2002!
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for "Jenny From The Block" ... I hate that song
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for your silicone butt!
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for being friends with Janet Jackson
*She stabs her again*
RACHEL: That's for ... um, ... well, ... I don't know.
*She stabs her again and stands up dusting her hands off*
RACHEL: Oh well, I think that should do it.
JAKE: *shivering behind a box* Are you going to kill me too?
RACHEL: Ofcourse not! You're my cousin. *She looks at Jenny and spits* Besides, I hate that bitch.
JAKE: Yeah, I hate her too.
*They start walking out of the room when suddenly Rachel stabs Jake*
JAKE: *struggling to breath because he has been friggen well stabbed* I ... I thought ... I was your cousin?
*Dzaaaaa tzaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!*
The end of episode 4
Next week on DOOFA: Has Rachel REALLY gone psycho and killed Jake or was it just a plot by the writer to end this soapie. Find out, next week!!!!!