Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling,
various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books
and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made, this is only a fanfic.
Note: thanks for Lost Infidel and Parvati for beta-reading.
Russian version of this story is available here: deathseaters.narod.ru/Riddle.html
Tom Riddle's Very Secret Diary
xxx
This is a test. Do you see me?
xxx
Hello dear Diary. My name is Tom Riddle, and I'm sixteen. I study at
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in Slytherin house. I'm really very
kind and fluffy inside, but no one loves me. My favorite occupation is walking
in the Zoo and asking snakes to scare other visitors. It's very good fun. Also I
wish to become more acquainted with girls ...but it seems to me that everyone is
ignoring me, and this hurts my young unstable soul very much. I'm so vulnerable,
discontented and deserve some compassion. Tomorrow I'll write more.
xxx
Dear Diary,
It's me, Tom, again. Still no one loves me. If you only could know HOW
unhappy and lonely I am. Today I tried to make a friend with some Ravenclaw
girl, but she screamed and ran away in fear. I have no idea what scared her so
much. Maybe my frightening green eyes, maybe my shady hair, and inspired, brave
look, or maybe Nagini, who lied on my shoulders around my neck, so only last
three inches of her tail were resting on the floor. I asked Nagini to smile at
the girl pleasantly (Yes, I'm able to talk with snakes. No, I already visited a
psychiatrist. I really disliked that visit.)
xxx
A whole delegation of first-years' parents was standing at the castle
entrance. They demand from Headmaster Dippet not to let students have snakes as
pets. I don't see a problem with snakes.
xxx
I'm still sad and lonely. Today I went to peep at girls in the bathroom.
At least it's some way to entertain myself.
xxx
I passed some exams. All the professors agreed that I know everything
those students two grades ahead know. Dombledore said it was about three grades
ahead. It can't be, because I'm it 5th grade of 7. Maybe I just misunderstood
something.
xxx
Studied dark magic all day long to show this Gryffindor boy who stepped
on my foot and on Nagini's tail, what he deserves! When learned some spells,
went to have some serious talk with him, but found that Nagini already discussed
with him that matter... At least I won't need to care about her food for a
week...
Well, spells I learned can be useful in the future anyway. During a dinner, I
tried one of them on the couple of first years, which threw a pie at me.
It was announced that due to some technical reasons tomorrow we'd have breakfast
at the quidditch pitch.
xxx
Still no one loves me it's very uncomfortable. May be I'm a gay? I won't be
happy with this.
xxx
Was peeping at girls in the bathroom. This third-year weirdo, Hagrid,
followed me everywhere. Albeit he's just a third-year, and two heads taller than
me and twice wider. Besides that, he got sweaty hands and bad smell from his
mouth. It's just not aesthetic. Having a relationship with him is just not for
as aristocratic nature as I am. But how do I explain that to Hagrid? He's so
boring. I presented to him my toothpaste.
xxx
Hagrid hugged me gently in the corridor and invited me to his cupboard
with him, to watch hedgehogs. I was almost choked. Really, how do I explain him
that I'm allergic to hedgehogs, and moreover, they're prickly? An I'm NOT
interested in watching how hedgehogs do THAT? This Hagrid has some perverse love
for animals. I fed Nagini with the rats Hagrid presented to me. Oh my God, I'm
tired of this hell.
xxx
No, I'm not inspired by Hagrid's idea to hatch a dragon egg. No, I won't
help him; I got enough of my own... stuff to do.
xxx
Just wondering if I'm really not a gay. Why the hell is Potter glaring
at me insanely? Why does he care, what I was doing in girls' bathroom? Why does
it matter to them what is between Hagrid and I? I never promised anything to
anyone. I'm not ought to give anyone reports!
xxx
I didn't use bad language, Professor Dumbledore. I even don't know how
to say such words. You can check what I said in any parseltongue pocket
dictionary.
xxx
I'm an Heir of Slytherin! Cool!
xxx
I will never build MY OWN secret hiding places in public restrooms. I
had to take bath for two hours.
Minus: dropped a diary into bath. Now, the capital H seems to be disappearing on
every page.
Plus: now I smell like strawberry foam. I took a bottle for myself, just for
fun.
xxx
Yeah, I've always loved snakes, but not so freaking HUGE snakes. Nagini, are
you going to be that big when you grow up? Please don't.
xxx
I hate muggles. Oh, how much I hate them. I understand Slytherin maybe a
little too much, oh well. My father was a muggle.
He had never sent me a single Christmas postcard. When I grow up a little, I'll
remind him, that it was only his fault - which I was lacking a happy childhood
that nobody was buying me ice cream and that I was not allowed to watch NC-17
movies. Because of all that, I will develop very vulnerable and suffering
personality and will make people unhappy. All these psycho traumas I received in
the childhood will turn me into moody psychopath with maniacal ideas such as
"take over the world". Take over the world. Sounds good. Should think about
that...
xxx
Seems that one girl isn't indifferent to me. AT LAST!!! She just
confessed me her love and asked if she can copy my arithmancy homework. I
agreed... In fact, she has ugly thick glasses, she's almost always in tears, she
always moans and complains about everything, she got terrible ponytails and
squeaky voice, but that's better than nothing! At least I'm not a gay. Invited
her for a date in bathroom. Do I rule or what?
xxx
You, crazy freaky basilisk!!!!!
xxx
So, again, another new trauma to my unstable young personality. I'm gone
to deep depression. Locked myself up in the Chamber of Secrets, booted basilisk
out to creep anywhere in the school freely, I don't care where. It will find
something to eat by itself! I never signed up for feeding it!!!
Took with me five boxes of Bertie Bott beans and something that I mixed up at
potions class. I don't want to see anyone.
xxx
Twenty-two beans with ear wax taste! THIS IS NOT JUST! I hate you, cruel
world!
xxx
Hagrid invited me to his place to watch the spiders. No, I really
disliked this "Put a spider in your pants" game. What if I'd give headmaster a
hint about it?
xxx
Hagrid was expelled! Hurray! I'm a school hero. At last I was noticed
and even received an award. The award was immediately taken from me to be put in
school museum, though. But anyway, aren't I cool! I'm excited. Maybe I should
make Hagrid be accepted back to school and do all this over again? Humm… yeah
then I'll get an other award and more attention! Yea!
xxx
Oh, the unforgettable moment of fame. It's worth it to save my present
self for the descendants. Someday I'm going to be great…someday.
xxx
Lucius managed to find out that I had a diary when I was young and
begged me to give him it to read. For some reason, I erased a half of records
from there. He probably won't be interested in my first pollutions, and at what
age I really stopped wetting my bed. Let him think that I always was this great
and frightening. Something about my fragile, vulnerable soul can be left in
diary, let him be jealous.
I re-read my diary. Oh, child years, child years... How naive I was. How I used
to think that being an evil overlord would be an easy job...
xxx
I was disembodied. That was annoyingly unpleasant, I must say!!
xxx
Plus: I have a backup copy of myself in my diary.
Minus: I'm just a sixteen again. All old complexes of my young psyche are back.
Potter, you'll pay for this!!!
xxx
I'm so Bored.
xxx
Played tic-tac-toe with myself. Failed in persuading Lucius to join me,
why is he such an ass?
xxx
Made some paper birds from diary pages and played them in Lucius'
cabinet. What, I'm really bored!?! Why won't Lucius write down some articles
from Daily Prophet into my diary? I'm eager to know what's happening in the
world.
xxx
Lucius, I understand that Draco is just five, that he's admirable kid
and that you are a parent who won't lose extra money. But maybe you'll bother to
buy for your son some OTHER painting album?!
xxx
No Lucius, my diary can be used for some other purposes. Try to guess...
xxx
I played sex-by-mail with Lucius. It seems that we finally understand
one other...
xxx
Ginny? What Ginny? Oh no.
xxx
Hello Dear Ginny,
My name is Tom Riddle, and I'm sixteen...
/ Inity, 12.02.2003
various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books
and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made, this is only a fanfic.
Note: thanks for Lost Infidel and Parvati for beta-reading.
Russian version of this story is available here: deathseaters.narod.ru/Riddle.html
Tom Riddle's Very Secret Diary
xxx
This is a test. Do you see me?
xxx
Hello dear Diary. My name is Tom Riddle, and I'm sixteen. I study at
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in Slytherin house. I'm really very
kind and fluffy inside, but no one loves me. My favorite occupation is walking
in the Zoo and asking snakes to scare other visitors. It's very good fun. Also I
wish to become more acquainted with girls ...but it seems to me that everyone is
ignoring me, and this hurts my young unstable soul very much. I'm so vulnerable,
discontented and deserve some compassion. Tomorrow I'll write more.
xxx
Dear Diary,
It's me, Tom, again. Still no one loves me. If you only could know HOW
unhappy and lonely I am. Today I tried to make a friend with some Ravenclaw
girl, but she screamed and ran away in fear. I have no idea what scared her so
much. Maybe my frightening green eyes, maybe my shady hair, and inspired, brave
look, or maybe Nagini, who lied on my shoulders around my neck, so only last
three inches of her tail were resting on the floor. I asked Nagini to smile at
the girl pleasantly (Yes, I'm able to talk with snakes. No, I already visited a
psychiatrist. I really disliked that visit.)
xxx
A whole delegation of first-years' parents was standing at the castle
entrance. They demand from Headmaster Dippet not to let students have snakes as
pets. I don't see a problem with snakes.
xxx
I'm still sad and lonely. Today I went to peep at girls in the bathroom.
At least it's some way to entertain myself.
xxx
I passed some exams. All the professors agreed that I know everything
those students two grades ahead know. Dombledore said it was about three grades
ahead. It can't be, because I'm it 5th grade of 7. Maybe I just misunderstood
something.
xxx
Studied dark magic all day long to show this Gryffindor boy who stepped
on my foot and on Nagini's tail, what he deserves! When learned some spells,
went to have some serious talk with him, but found that Nagini already discussed
with him that matter... At least I won't need to care about her food for a
week...
Well, spells I learned can be useful in the future anyway. During a dinner, I
tried one of them on the couple of first years, which threw a pie at me.
It was announced that due to some technical reasons tomorrow we'd have breakfast
at the quidditch pitch.
xxx
Still no one loves me it's very uncomfortable. May be I'm a gay? I won't be
happy with this.
xxx
Was peeping at girls in the bathroom. This third-year weirdo, Hagrid,
followed me everywhere. Albeit he's just a third-year, and two heads taller than
me and twice wider. Besides that, he got sweaty hands and bad smell from his
mouth. It's just not aesthetic. Having a relationship with him is just not for
as aristocratic nature as I am. But how do I explain that to Hagrid? He's so
boring. I presented to him my toothpaste.
xxx
Hagrid hugged me gently in the corridor and invited me to his cupboard
with him, to watch hedgehogs. I was almost choked. Really, how do I explain him
that I'm allergic to hedgehogs, and moreover, they're prickly? An I'm NOT
interested in watching how hedgehogs do THAT? This Hagrid has some perverse love
for animals. I fed Nagini with the rats Hagrid presented to me. Oh my God, I'm
tired of this hell.
xxx
No, I'm not inspired by Hagrid's idea to hatch a dragon egg. No, I won't
help him; I got enough of my own... stuff to do.
xxx
Just wondering if I'm really not a gay. Why the hell is Potter glaring
at me insanely? Why does he care, what I was doing in girls' bathroom? Why does
it matter to them what is between Hagrid and I? I never promised anything to
anyone. I'm not ought to give anyone reports!
xxx
I didn't use bad language, Professor Dumbledore. I even don't know how
to say such words. You can check what I said in any parseltongue pocket
dictionary.
xxx
I'm an Heir of Slytherin! Cool!
xxx
I will never build MY OWN secret hiding places in public restrooms. I
had to take bath for two hours.
Minus: dropped a diary into bath. Now, the capital H seems to be disappearing on
every page.
Plus: now I smell like strawberry foam. I took a bottle for myself, just for
fun.
xxx
Yeah, I've always loved snakes, but not so freaking HUGE snakes. Nagini, are
you going to be that big when you grow up? Please don't.
xxx
I hate muggles. Oh, how much I hate them. I understand Slytherin maybe a
little too much, oh well. My father was a muggle.
He had never sent me a single Christmas postcard. When I grow up a little, I'll
remind him, that it was only his fault - which I was lacking a happy childhood
that nobody was buying me ice cream and that I was not allowed to watch NC-17
movies. Because of all that, I will develop very vulnerable and suffering
personality and will make people unhappy. All these psycho traumas I received in
the childhood will turn me into moody psychopath with maniacal ideas such as
"take over the world". Take over the world. Sounds good. Should think about
that...
xxx
Seems that one girl isn't indifferent to me. AT LAST!!! She just
confessed me her love and asked if she can copy my arithmancy homework. I
agreed... In fact, she has ugly thick glasses, she's almost always in tears, she
always moans and complains about everything, she got terrible ponytails and
squeaky voice, but that's better than nothing! At least I'm not a gay. Invited
her for a date in bathroom. Do I rule or what?
xxx
You, crazy freaky basilisk!!!!!
xxx
So, again, another new trauma to my unstable young personality. I'm gone
to deep depression. Locked myself up in the Chamber of Secrets, booted basilisk
out to creep anywhere in the school freely, I don't care where. It will find
something to eat by itself! I never signed up for feeding it!!!
Took with me five boxes of Bertie Bott beans and something that I mixed up at
potions class. I don't want to see anyone.
xxx
Twenty-two beans with ear wax taste! THIS IS NOT JUST! I hate you, cruel
world!
xxx
Hagrid invited me to his place to watch the spiders. No, I really
disliked this "Put a spider in your pants" game. What if I'd give headmaster a
hint about it?
xxx
Hagrid was expelled! Hurray! I'm a school hero. At last I was noticed
and even received an award. The award was immediately taken from me to be put in
school museum, though. But anyway, aren't I cool! I'm excited. Maybe I should
make Hagrid be accepted back to school and do all this over again? Humm… yeah
then I'll get an other award and more attention! Yea!
xxx
Oh, the unforgettable moment of fame. It's worth it to save my present
self for the descendants. Someday I'm going to be great…someday.
xxx
Lucius managed to find out that I had a diary when I was young and
begged me to give him it to read. For some reason, I erased a half of records
from there. He probably won't be interested in my first pollutions, and at what
age I really stopped wetting my bed. Let him think that I always was this great
and frightening. Something about my fragile, vulnerable soul can be left in
diary, let him be jealous.
I re-read my diary. Oh, child years, child years... How naive I was. How I used
to think that being an evil overlord would be an easy job...
xxx
I was disembodied. That was annoyingly unpleasant, I must say!!
xxx
Plus: I have a backup copy of myself in my diary.
Minus: I'm just a sixteen again. All old complexes of my young psyche are back.
Potter, you'll pay for this!!!
xxx
I'm so Bored.
xxx
Played tic-tac-toe with myself. Failed in persuading Lucius to join me,
why is he such an ass?
xxx
Made some paper birds from diary pages and played them in Lucius'
cabinet. What, I'm really bored!?! Why won't Lucius write down some articles
from Daily Prophet into my diary? I'm eager to know what's happening in the
world.
xxx
Lucius, I understand that Draco is just five, that he's admirable kid
and that you are a parent who won't lose extra money. But maybe you'll bother to
buy for your son some OTHER painting album?!
xxx
No Lucius, my diary can be used for some other purposes. Try to guess...
xxx
I played sex-by-mail with Lucius. It seems that we finally understand
one other...
xxx
Ginny? What Ginny? Oh no.
xxx
Hello Dear Ginny,
My name is Tom Riddle, and I'm sixteen...
/ Inity, 12.02.2003