Chapter 7
After the group had finished eating, and everyone began getting up from the table,
Hermoine said, "Should we get something for James to eat?"
"Yeah, I suppose." Michelle said.
Michelle grabbed a few items off of the table and the group continued out the door.
At the door to the Gryffindor common room, Malfoy looked at the door uncertainly, after
a look at each other, the Gryffindor's told him to come inside with them, but didn't tell
him the password, he was told to cover his ears.
The first thing that Harry noticed when he entered the common room, is that it was
completely empty. The second thing he noticed was that he heard music coming from
somewhere. He looked around the common room and noticed, in one corner, James sat
playing a guitar.
The group headed over to him and Michelle said quietly, "I didn't know he still had that."
Once they reached James, and he noticed that they were there, he stopped playing
and blushed.
"Hey guys." was all James said.
"Hey James, what are u doing?" Hermoine said.
"Just playing a little, it helps calm me down." James replied
"Well don't let us stop you mate." Harry said.
"No, that's OK, I don't like playing in front of people." James said, unusually shy.
"Well seeing as how we are all like family, and you and Michelle really are family, I
think it will be OK." Harry said.
James really didn't know what to say. He just nodded his head.
"What were u playing?" Michelle asked.
"Caught In The Sun." James replied.
"Oh I like that one, play it." She said.
"Umm, what is it?" Hermoine said.
"It's a rock ballad by a band named Course of Nature." James told her.
"Well let's here it." Harry said.
"OK, OK." James said with a look of defeat and began playing.
(A/N: If you haven't heard this song, download it, it's great.)
He started playing a soft ballad and after a few moments of just playing he began to
sing.
"You're my distanced destination of choice
I'd give anything just to hear your voice
I couldn't pass you on the street
Without saying a word
Most times I missed the voice
That goes unheard"
"What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough"
There was a musical break here where James sat with his eyes closed and played.
'He has an incredible voice' Thought Hermoine
At that same moment Harry was thinking, 'Oh great, he can sing as well, is there
anything wrong with this bloke?"
James then began to sing again.
"People everywhere how could I be sure
Is it you that I have been looking for
What would it take for me to be comfortable
With you, with me you're the chosen one
What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough
You are there for me this I hope and pray
You will wait for me, I wont be to late
What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough
Will you wait for me
Or will I be to late this time
You are there for me this I hope and pray"
James played the rest of the song and ended softly.
He opened his eyes and the first things he noticed was that there were quite a few
more people standing there listening than there was before he began playing. He then
realized that most of the Gryffindors had returned from dinner. Then he realized that
they had heard him play and sing. Then he properly had the feeling that he was going
to throw up.
"That was very good." Hermoine said smiling.
'I can't stand when she similes at him. Stop It Harry, he's a member of the Order, quit
trying to hate him." harry thought to himself.
Michelle said, "I thought you might be out of practice. But your not. Sounded good
James."
"Thanks" was all James said as he looked around at all the people. Most of them
muttered things like, very good, or great job, but most had looks of shock on their faces.
Apparently everyone in Gryffindor had taken James for someone who didn't like music
played with instruments, just that "awful rap stuff." As most of the student called it.
"Umm James?" Michelle said.
"Yeah?" James said.
"Will you play that song? You Know, that song you played at...at mom's funeral?"
Michelle said quietly.
James just looked deeply sad all of sudden, but nevertheless nodded his head and
began playing a song.
"What's this called?" Hermoine whispered to Michelle.
"Time of Your Life." Michelle whispered back, "By and band called Green Day."
James began to sing then.
"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to do.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time."
"It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life."
"So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf of good health and good time."
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
I hope you had the time of your life."
There was a musical break again in this song. James, who had had his eyes closed
most of the song, looked up and looked at each person in turn while he played. He was
closed to tears it seemed.
He then began to sing again.
"It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
I hope you had the time of your life."
James played the last note, and as he did a silent tear seemed to roll down his cheek.
"Wow," Harry said.
"That was very good James." Hermoine said.
"Yeah." Malfoy said, still not sure of his place with them.
"Thanks guys." James said quietly.
"Umm James, Michelle?" Hermoine said.
Both sibling looked at her., "Umm, I hate to ask this, and you don't have to answer, but
You said," indicating Michelle, "That he played that at your mother's funeral, right?"
"Yes." Michelle said.
"Umm, well, what happened?" Hermoine said. "I mean, why are you here?"
"Well it's a really long story." Michelle said.
"I'll tell it." James said softly.
"Are you sure?" Michelle asked him.
"Yeah. But not here. Is there anywhere we can go privately?" James said setting his
guitar down.
"Yeah, we could go to our dormitories." Harry said.
The group proceeded to head up the stairs, as James walked along, most everyone he
passed either said good job, or asked him to play one more. He just smiled at them and
walked along.
"Well, " James began once they were in the 7th year boys dormitories, "I suppose it
began almost a year ago. I was 16 at that time. Michelle was 15. We both went to our
school that year. Well one night, bout 3 months after we got there, we got an owl. It was
a letter from home. From Dad. It said that he had to talk to us and couldn't do it by owl
post and that we were supposed to come home for one night. Said he had already
cleared it with our headmaster and that we should go to his office and travel by floo
powder to the house. So we did. When we got home both of our parents were there
waiting on us. Dad told us to sit down, that he had to talk to us. He started telling us
things. He said that he was working with someone, Dumbledore I came to find out later,
and that the people that were against who he was working with were looking for him."
James paused and then continued with a pained look on his face. "Dad said he had to
leave, to protect us. A load of bullshit I think." When he said this Hermoine turned to
look at Harry with an 'I told you so' look on her face. Referring to all the time Harry had
said it would have been better if he hadn't' been friends with her and Ron. Then James
continued, "Well Dad left that night as a matter of fact. Me and Michelle stayed with our
mom that night, who then, we thought would be OK. Boy were we wrong. Anyways, we
returned to school the next morning. Things were okay for us the rest of the year. I
guess being away from home, the feeling that dad had left really didn't affect us cause
we weren't at home. Well before we knew it, school was over and we went home. It was
OK for awhile. Most of the summer actually. Well, toward the end of the summer, it
really really started to sink in that Dad wasn't there. Before it had just felt that he was
away on business or something and that he would be back. Then after about two
months if finally started setting that we might never see our father again." James
paused again, then continued, "Well at the end of the summer we returned to school.
by then I had become really depressed and sad all the time. I started doing stupid stuff.
Rebellious stuff you know? Getting in to trouble. Got in a lot of fights, not magical ones,
just ones where I lost my temper and hauled off and hit someone. Well it really wasn't
that bad till one day in class I was sitting next to one of my friends. We had been
arguing about something for awhile." James seemed to almost smile at his, "Course
now I couldn't even tell you what we were fighting about. Well we started saying stupid
things to each other. I said something that made him mad and he blurted out, "Well at
least IM not so bad that my father leaves me.' After he said it he seemed to kinda look
like he regretted it. I lost it then, the first time I had really lost it. I attacked him. Started
hitting him over and over. I got up off of him after 9 or 10 punches and pulled my wand
on him. I did a shrinking spell on him. He shrunk to about 7 or 8 inches high. He started
to run away, but he was so little he couldn't run fast. I pulled my leg up and tried to
stomp on him. At that point I was so blind with rage I didn't even think about what I was
doing. Well, the teacher finally got to us and hit me with a binding spell. He then turned
to my friend and returned him to his normal size. We went to the Headmaster and he,
although he looked regretful about it, expelled me." James paused again. He looked at
everyone. Most of his new friends had looks of shock on their face. Only Harry had a
look of sympathy. Michelle just looked like she wanted to cry.
James continued, "Well I got home and of course mom was mad. We argued for a few
days about it really. After a week or two I went and got a muggle job so I could help
support me and mom while Michelle was away at school. I really didn't notice it then,
but I do now, mom wasn't right. She was always tired. Never left the house. Cried a lot.
I just played it off as nothing. Did my best not to think about it. Well I came home from
my job one night and called for mom. I didn't get an answer so I went up the stairs to
her room. I heard water running in the bathroom so I get close to the door and yelled
for mom. I didn't get an answer so I stuck my head in and I saw......" James stopped
there, holding back tears. It was a few moments before he regained himself. "I saw
mom, laying face up in the tub. The water in the tub was still running. The water was
red. She had killed herself, slit her wrists and got into the tub."
Silent tears were running down James and Michelle's cheeks then.
"After that I just kinda went through life at home numb. Michelle came home for the
funeral, but left as soon as she could. Hell I don't blame her, I wanted to get away from
there too. Well after about 4 or 5 months by myself, Michelle came home from school.
Well once she came home from school we were visited by the Wizarding version of the
Department of Family of Children Services." At the puzzled looks from everyone but
Michelle, "It's like a department that helps families with problems. Anyways, We were
told that we had a grandmother who lived in England, our mother's mother, who we had
never met. So we agreed to go. That night Dumbledore came to us. Asked us if we
would like to attend Hogwarts in the fall. We, of course, told him that we wanted to. So
We moved to England, and that's why we are here."
No one said anything after this. Everyone just seemed to be in shock, with looks of
intense sympathy. Hermoine even looked like she might cry.
"Guys, please don't do this." James said, "Don't start feeling bad for me and Michelle,
don't start pitying us. We have had too much of it."
Harry looked at James and said, "James, I know how you feel."
"Well with all due respect," James said, "I'm sure it is awful to grow up without parents,
to not know them. But just imagine growing up with them for 15 years, then one day
your dad is gone. Then you have to watch your mom sink away, and then she's gone."
"I see your point." Harry said with a very painful look on his face.
Suddenly James said, "I'm hungry, I haven't eaten."
With that everyone seemed to jump a little bit. "Would anyone go with me to eat?"
Harry and, to everyone's suprise, Draco volunteered.
With that James, Harry, and Draco got up and left.
"Well that was odd." Hermoine said.
"Well it's fitting really. I mean they are all in a sort of club. They have all lost their
parents. I mean, I lost my parents too, but when dad left is sort of affected James more
than me. They were really close. And the he found mom." She looked like she might cry
again, then stopped herself and got a determined look on her face, not to. "James took
the whole thing with our parents bad, a lot worse than he gave off. I mean, It hurt me
too, but he just took it bad you know? He can't really trust anyone. He trusts me I
suppose. But that's about all. He doesn't even trust our grandmother."
"Well has he ever had a girlfriend or anything he could confide in or use for strength?"
Hermoine asked.
"Well of course I mean he had girlfriend all up through school. But every since our
parents, he just hasn't been able to trust anyone enough."
Hermoine thought to herself, 'Well I'm glad I don't want to date him, or I would be
screwed.'
"Sorry to disappoint you Hermoine." Michelle said with a knowing look on her face.
"Why would I be disappointed?" Hermoine asked.
"Well it's kinda obvious you have something for my brother, but I hate to tell you he
won't get close enough to date you." Michelle said sympathetically.
"I don't like your brother like that." Hermoine said defiantly,
"Sure." Michelle said clearly not believing her.
This upset Hermoine and she said, "I don't like your brother that way, as a matter of
fact I have feelings for someone else, thank you very much."
"And who would that be?" Michelle asked.
"You have to promise not to tell." Hermoine said.
"Ok." Michelle said.
"Because it would ruin our friendship and I just couldn't have that." Hermoine said,
"Ok , just tell me." Michelle replied.
Hermoine leaned over and whispered in her ear.
Once Michelle heard what she said her eyes got wide and she said, "I Knew it. I mean
not in the sense that I had a clue, but I knew something wasn't right between the two of
you."
"You promised not to say anything." Hermoine said looking absolutely evil.
"I won't I won't. I swear I will never tell a soul." Michelle said.
Little did Hermoine know, Michelle had her hand behind her back with her fingers
crossed.
After the group had finished eating, and everyone began getting up from the table,
Hermoine said, "Should we get something for James to eat?"
"Yeah, I suppose." Michelle said.
Michelle grabbed a few items off of the table and the group continued out the door.
At the door to the Gryffindor common room, Malfoy looked at the door uncertainly, after
a look at each other, the Gryffindor's told him to come inside with them, but didn't tell
him the password, he was told to cover his ears.
The first thing that Harry noticed when he entered the common room, is that it was
completely empty. The second thing he noticed was that he heard music coming from
somewhere. He looked around the common room and noticed, in one corner, James sat
playing a guitar.
The group headed over to him and Michelle said quietly, "I didn't know he still had that."
Once they reached James, and he noticed that they were there, he stopped playing
and blushed.
"Hey guys." was all James said.
"Hey James, what are u doing?" Hermoine said.
"Just playing a little, it helps calm me down." James replied
"Well don't let us stop you mate." Harry said.
"No, that's OK, I don't like playing in front of people." James said, unusually shy.
"Well seeing as how we are all like family, and you and Michelle really are family, I
think it will be OK." Harry said.
James really didn't know what to say. He just nodded his head.
"What were u playing?" Michelle asked.
"Caught In The Sun." James replied.
"Oh I like that one, play it." She said.
"Umm, what is it?" Hermoine said.
"It's a rock ballad by a band named Course of Nature." James told her.
"Well let's here it." Harry said.
"OK, OK." James said with a look of defeat and began playing.
(A/N: If you haven't heard this song, download it, it's great.)
He started playing a soft ballad and after a few moments of just playing he began to
sing.
"You're my distanced destination of choice
I'd give anything just to hear your voice
I couldn't pass you on the street
Without saying a word
Most times I missed the voice
That goes unheard"
"What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough"
There was a musical break here where James sat with his eyes closed and played.
'He has an incredible voice' Thought Hermoine
At that same moment Harry was thinking, 'Oh great, he can sing as well, is there
anything wrong with this bloke?"
James then began to sing again.
"People everywhere how could I be sure
Is it you that I have been looking for
What would it take for me to be comfortable
With you, with me you're the chosen one
What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough
You are there for me this I hope and pray
You will wait for me, I wont be to late
What if I missed you
You got caught in the sun
What if I did something
Never to be enough
Will you wait for me
Or will I be to late this time
You are there for me this I hope and pray"
James played the rest of the song and ended softly.
He opened his eyes and the first things he noticed was that there were quite a few
more people standing there listening than there was before he began playing. He then
realized that most of the Gryffindors had returned from dinner. Then he realized that
they had heard him play and sing. Then he properly had the feeling that he was going
to throw up.
"That was very good." Hermoine said smiling.
'I can't stand when she similes at him. Stop It Harry, he's a member of the Order, quit
trying to hate him." harry thought to himself.
Michelle said, "I thought you might be out of practice. But your not. Sounded good
James."
"Thanks" was all James said as he looked around at all the people. Most of them
muttered things like, very good, or great job, but most had looks of shock on their faces.
Apparently everyone in Gryffindor had taken James for someone who didn't like music
played with instruments, just that "awful rap stuff." As most of the student called it.
"Umm James?" Michelle said.
"Yeah?" James said.
"Will you play that song? You Know, that song you played at...at mom's funeral?"
Michelle said quietly.
James just looked deeply sad all of sudden, but nevertheless nodded his head and
began playing a song.
"What's this called?" Hermoine whispered to Michelle.
"Time of Your Life." Michelle whispered back, "By and band called Green Day."
James began to sing then.
"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to do.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time."
"It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life."
"So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf of good health and good time."
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
I hope you had the time of your life."
There was a musical break again in this song. James, who had had his eyes closed
most of the song, looked up and looked at each person in turn while he played. He was
closed to tears it seemed.
He then began to sing again.
"It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
I hope you had the time of your life."
James played the last note, and as he did a silent tear seemed to roll down his cheek.
"Wow," Harry said.
"That was very good James." Hermoine said.
"Yeah." Malfoy said, still not sure of his place with them.
"Thanks guys." James said quietly.
"Umm James, Michelle?" Hermoine said.
Both sibling looked at her., "Umm, I hate to ask this, and you don't have to answer, but
You said," indicating Michelle, "That he played that at your mother's funeral, right?"
"Yes." Michelle said.
"Umm, well, what happened?" Hermoine said. "I mean, why are you here?"
"Well it's a really long story." Michelle said.
"I'll tell it." James said softly.
"Are you sure?" Michelle asked him.
"Yeah. But not here. Is there anywhere we can go privately?" James said setting his
guitar down.
"Yeah, we could go to our dormitories." Harry said.
The group proceeded to head up the stairs, as James walked along, most everyone he
passed either said good job, or asked him to play one more. He just smiled at them and
walked along.
"Well, " James began once they were in the 7th year boys dormitories, "I suppose it
began almost a year ago. I was 16 at that time. Michelle was 15. We both went to our
school that year. Well one night, bout 3 months after we got there, we got an owl. It was
a letter from home. From Dad. It said that he had to talk to us and couldn't do it by owl
post and that we were supposed to come home for one night. Said he had already
cleared it with our headmaster and that we should go to his office and travel by floo
powder to the house. So we did. When we got home both of our parents were there
waiting on us. Dad told us to sit down, that he had to talk to us. He started telling us
things. He said that he was working with someone, Dumbledore I came to find out later,
and that the people that were against who he was working with were looking for him."
James paused and then continued with a pained look on his face. "Dad said he had to
leave, to protect us. A load of bullshit I think." When he said this Hermoine turned to
look at Harry with an 'I told you so' look on her face. Referring to all the time Harry had
said it would have been better if he hadn't' been friends with her and Ron. Then James
continued, "Well Dad left that night as a matter of fact. Me and Michelle stayed with our
mom that night, who then, we thought would be OK. Boy were we wrong. Anyways, we
returned to school the next morning. Things were okay for us the rest of the year. I
guess being away from home, the feeling that dad had left really didn't affect us cause
we weren't at home. Well before we knew it, school was over and we went home. It was
OK for awhile. Most of the summer actually. Well, toward the end of the summer, it
really really started to sink in that Dad wasn't there. Before it had just felt that he was
away on business or something and that he would be back. Then after about two
months if finally started setting that we might never see our father again." James
paused again, then continued, "Well at the end of the summer we returned to school.
by then I had become really depressed and sad all the time. I started doing stupid stuff.
Rebellious stuff you know? Getting in to trouble. Got in a lot of fights, not magical ones,
just ones where I lost my temper and hauled off and hit someone. Well it really wasn't
that bad till one day in class I was sitting next to one of my friends. We had been
arguing about something for awhile." James seemed to almost smile at his, "Course
now I couldn't even tell you what we were fighting about. Well we started saying stupid
things to each other. I said something that made him mad and he blurted out, "Well at
least IM not so bad that my father leaves me.' After he said it he seemed to kinda look
like he regretted it. I lost it then, the first time I had really lost it. I attacked him. Started
hitting him over and over. I got up off of him after 9 or 10 punches and pulled my wand
on him. I did a shrinking spell on him. He shrunk to about 7 or 8 inches high. He started
to run away, but he was so little he couldn't run fast. I pulled my leg up and tried to
stomp on him. At that point I was so blind with rage I didn't even think about what I was
doing. Well, the teacher finally got to us and hit me with a binding spell. He then turned
to my friend and returned him to his normal size. We went to the Headmaster and he,
although he looked regretful about it, expelled me." James paused again. He looked at
everyone. Most of his new friends had looks of shock on their face. Only Harry had a
look of sympathy. Michelle just looked like she wanted to cry.
James continued, "Well I got home and of course mom was mad. We argued for a few
days about it really. After a week or two I went and got a muggle job so I could help
support me and mom while Michelle was away at school. I really didn't notice it then,
but I do now, mom wasn't right. She was always tired. Never left the house. Cried a lot.
I just played it off as nothing. Did my best not to think about it. Well I came home from
my job one night and called for mom. I didn't get an answer so I went up the stairs to
her room. I heard water running in the bathroom so I get close to the door and yelled
for mom. I didn't get an answer so I stuck my head in and I saw......" James stopped
there, holding back tears. It was a few moments before he regained himself. "I saw
mom, laying face up in the tub. The water in the tub was still running. The water was
red. She had killed herself, slit her wrists and got into the tub."
Silent tears were running down James and Michelle's cheeks then.
"After that I just kinda went through life at home numb. Michelle came home for the
funeral, but left as soon as she could. Hell I don't blame her, I wanted to get away from
there too. Well after about 4 or 5 months by myself, Michelle came home from school.
Well once she came home from school we were visited by the Wizarding version of the
Department of Family of Children Services." At the puzzled looks from everyone but
Michelle, "It's like a department that helps families with problems. Anyways, We were
told that we had a grandmother who lived in England, our mother's mother, who we had
never met. So we agreed to go. That night Dumbledore came to us. Asked us if we
would like to attend Hogwarts in the fall. We, of course, told him that we wanted to. So
We moved to England, and that's why we are here."
No one said anything after this. Everyone just seemed to be in shock, with looks of
intense sympathy. Hermoine even looked like she might cry.
"Guys, please don't do this." James said, "Don't start feeling bad for me and Michelle,
don't start pitying us. We have had too much of it."
Harry looked at James and said, "James, I know how you feel."
"Well with all due respect," James said, "I'm sure it is awful to grow up without parents,
to not know them. But just imagine growing up with them for 15 years, then one day
your dad is gone. Then you have to watch your mom sink away, and then she's gone."
"I see your point." Harry said with a very painful look on his face.
Suddenly James said, "I'm hungry, I haven't eaten."
With that everyone seemed to jump a little bit. "Would anyone go with me to eat?"
Harry and, to everyone's suprise, Draco volunteered.
With that James, Harry, and Draco got up and left.
"Well that was odd." Hermoine said.
"Well it's fitting really. I mean they are all in a sort of club. They have all lost their
parents. I mean, I lost my parents too, but when dad left is sort of affected James more
than me. They were really close. And the he found mom." She looked like she might cry
again, then stopped herself and got a determined look on her face, not to. "James took
the whole thing with our parents bad, a lot worse than he gave off. I mean, It hurt me
too, but he just took it bad you know? He can't really trust anyone. He trusts me I
suppose. But that's about all. He doesn't even trust our grandmother."
"Well has he ever had a girlfriend or anything he could confide in or use for strength?"
Hermoine asked.
"Well of course I mean he had girlfriend all up through school. But every since our
parents, he just hasn't been able to trust anyone enough."
Hermoine thought to herself, 'Well I'm glad I don't want to date him, or I would be
screwed.'
"Sorry to disappoint you Hermoine." Michelle said with a knowing look on her face.
"Why would I be disappointed?" Hermoine asked.
"Well it's kinda obvious you have something for my brother, but I hate to tell you he
won't get close enough to date you." Michelle said sympathetically.
"I don't like your brother like that." Hermoine said defiantly,
"Sure." Michelle said clearly not believing her.
This upset Hermoine and she said, "I don't like your brother that way, as a matter of
fact I have feelings for someone else, thank you very much."
"And who would that be?" Michelle asked.
"You have to promise not to tell." Hermoine said.
"Ok." Michelle said.
"Because it would ruin our friendship and I just couldn't have that." Hermoine said,
"Ok , just tell me." Michelle replied.
Hermoine leaned over and whispered in her ear.
Once Michelle heard what she said her eyes got wide and she said, "I Knew it. I mean
not in the sense that I had a clue, but I knew something wasn't right between the two of
you."
"You promised not to say anything." Hermoine said looking absolutely evil.
"I won't I won't. I swear I will never tell a soul." Michelle said.
Little did Hermoine know, Michelle had her hand behind her back with her fingers
crossed.