Disclaimer: Sorry, don't own the Gundam boys, or the mall, (although I wish
I did) don't sue me!
Rated PG-13: Same thing as before. Language and boo-boo's
AN: You like me, you really like me! Somebody actually thinks this is funny! How did that happen? ^_^
God Help Us
They reached the mall in under ten minutes, compliments to Heero's madd driving skillz.
"Oh Heero, isn't this romantic?" Relena sighed as they walked down one of the many crowded walkways, paths, halls, whatever the hell they're called.
"I fail to see how walking through an extremely crowded place, with a six year old screaming Duo, and cheap ass stores is romantic."
"Don't you just love the mall?" She continued, ignoring Heero's reply.
"If it was bulldozed over and turned into a park and an gun store, then, yes, I would."
"Here we are! Oh, let's get smoothies before we get anything!" Heero silently handed her a five to dispose of her for a couple of minutes. Looking up at the store he was standing at the entrance to, he involuntarily retched.
"Abercrombie and bitch," he muttered, grabbing Duo and swinging him up to sit on his shoulders. "Let's go find a store that isn't full of people I hate." He told Duo walking off. He didn't care that he actually looked like a caring parent or older brother, Relena wouldn't be looking for one of those.
Waltzing into 'JC Penny's' he headed towards the kid's section and set Duo down. "What do you want?" Duo immediately latched himself to a Batman shirt, and Heero picked it up. "What else?" He followed Duo around, snatching up whatever shirts, socks, underwear, or pants Duo wanted, regardless of what they looked like. Walking towards the counter, Duo sitting atop his cartooned clothes, he managed to check his watch. It had only taken fifteen minutes.
"Clifford!" Duo yelled all of a sudden. "Clifford!" And he reached for a stuffed miniature version of the red dog.
"Fine, just shut the hell up." And Heero grabbed the doll for Duo, dumping everything else in front of the cash register.
"That will be one hundred dollars."
"A hundred dollars for a load of crap." Heero muttered, thrusting his credit card into the cashier's hands.
Lifting Duo back onto his shoulders, Heero grabbed the bag and got out of the store like a bat out of hell.
"Where's W-W-Relena?" Duo asked, as they flew by the stores.
"Don't know, don't care. Next time though, call her hellish troll bitch."
"Hellish twoll bitch!" Duo exclaimed.
"Good enough." Heero ran out of the mall and skidded to halt outside his car, sitting Duo in the front seat and buckling his seatbelt. He would have to be careful, or else he might actually start liking the young braided pilot.
"Let's get out of here." He said once he had seated himself behind the wheel, and was ready to stomp on the gas pedal when Relena appeared behind the car. Surprised, it took him a split second to actually stomp on the gas pedal. Relena just barely jumped out of the way, falling backwards and scraping herself up pretty badly. Heero chuckled, and started speeding out of the parking lot, when he heard something that made him stop dead. Imagine nails on a chalkboard. Now, magnify that about a hundred times. Yeah, you guessed it, Relena screaming.
"HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" She screeched. Heero shuddered, and ever so slowly backed up the car. She smiled and hopped in.
Digging through Duo's clothes, her smile changed into a deep frown. "These clothes won't do at all! Powerpuff Girls? Marvin the Martian? What is this?"
"Clothes that he wants to wear. He's a six year old for God sakes, who cares what the hell he wants to wear?"
"I do! The general public does!"
"Who's the general public? The people who live up your ass?" Heero growled, speeding down the road, putting as much distance between himself and the mall as possible.
"Heero, I can't believe you! You didn't get ANYTHING nice at all!"
"I got a shirt with a collar."
"Yes, but it's a FAKE tuxedo shirt!"
"It has a damn collar." Heero protested, screeching to a halt at a red light and causing Relena to pitch forward against the back of Duo's seat.
Duo went into a fit of laughter, and managed to twist himself around to laugh at Relena's predicament. "Twoll bitch!" He giggled, falling back into his seat, in an uncontrollable fit of hysterics.
Heero smirked, and started the car before Relena could start scolding him on his terrible parenting skills. He did a 180 before pulling into the driveway, facing the tree on the opposite street. "You get out, or I run into tree." He said slowly enunciating each word.
Relena's face twisted horribly, and she got out of the car doing her best to glare daggers at Heero. He shot her back one of his worst, and pulled Duo and bag of clothes out of the car, casually flipping her off before wrenching open the front door.
As he set Duo down, said pilot ran down the hall screaming madly, and into the family room where he launched himself at the TV, cartoons not yet forgotten.
But it was no use. Wufei had completely mutilated the wires behind the TV, so that it was pretty much hopeless to get it hooked back up. Unless, of course, Duo turned back into himself and did an extraordinarily good job.
"That thing is out for good, kid." Heero told him, setting the bag down and collapsing on the kitchen chair, feeling like he had been out shopping for hours. (Spending half an hour with Relena will do that to you.)
Duo pouted, and then jumped up when something shiny caught his eye. He ran into the backyard, and squealed with delight diving into the swing on the newly built playset. Trowa was sitting under the tree nearby, reading a book, one of his thumbs bandaged, and his fingers covered in blisters and splinters. Heero stood at the back door, almost open mouthed, and staring at Trowa, who just shrugged.
Being a complete softie, and not holding grudges, (especially against such a cute kid) Trowa had constructed a playset for the small pilot while Heero had been tortured at the mall.
Duo swung back and forth, giggling, and having a great time, letting the other pilots do nothing but supervise. (Okay, letting the other pilots do nothing, and letting Trowa supervise.)
This semi-peace and relaxing time lasted for about an hour before Duo flew out of the swing, accidentally, and screaming for all he was worth. Trowa slammed down his book and dove forward, moving just fast enough to catch Duo one handed right before he hit the ground. (Hey he's not a Gundam pilot for nothing.)
"Thank you!" Duo exclaimed hugging Trowa around the neck, who winced. "I'm hungry!" He yelled, jumping up and running towards the kitchen. Trowa rolled over on his back and groaned.
He lay there for about half an hour until a peanut butter covered Duo and jelly covered Quatre walked out the back door. "Trowa? Are you okay?" Quatre asked kneeling down.
"I think I cracked a couple of ribs, twisted my elbow, and possibly sprained my wrist, but yeah. Just peachy." He sat up painfully and felt like tearing down the playset and stomping on it while yelling obscenities. Instead, he decided to go call the doctor for a second time, and lay on the couch wondering why the hell he kept getting beaten up.
"Come on Duo, let's go inside and help Trowa out. Duo? Duo! What are you doing!?"
Duo was standing on the top of the playset and waving his arms around like a lunatic. "I'm gonna jump!" He yelled. "Start chanting for me!"
"Did Heero let you watch one of his movies at the mall? Get down from there!" Quatre ran underneath the playset, ready to catch Duo if he did, in fact, try to jump.
"I'm a dinosaur! I'll be okay!" He called back, flapping his arms.
"Duo! Dinosaurs can't…" thud. "…fly."
Duo sat on the ground bawling his eyes out. His hands and knees had been scraped up. Quatre scooped Duo up carefully walking slowly back to the house, trying to comfort Duo. "Don't worry. I'll kiss it and make it all better." He reassured the small pilot, setting him down on the kitchen table.
He pulled out the first aid box, shaking his head almost violently, pretty sure that his sanity was being threatened.
Pulling out the peroxide he made a move to clean Duo's scraped knees, but was kicked in the jaw before he could. "It's gonna hurt! Don't hurt me!" Duo wailed, clutching his legs to his chest. He made a move to rest his chin on his knees, and howled when he made contact. "It hurts!" He cried.
Quatre rubbed his jaw, and moved forward again with the peroxide. He managed to narrowly dodge the swinging feet of death, and almost started swearing. "Duo, hold still."
He heard a snort from the doorway of the kitchen. "Don't be so lenient." Wufei instructed, grabbing a rag from the sink and getting it damp.
Taking Quatre's place in front of Duo, he reached out when Duo aimed his kick and grabbed his leg. He carefully dabbed the boy's knee so that it didn't hurt. After that he gladly sat there and let Wufei bandage him up in 'Blues Clues' Band-Aids.
"There. All better."
Duo jumped up and off to the table, latching himself to Wufei's neck. "Get off of me, Maxwell," Wufei growled, trying to pry Duo off.
"I don't w-" The young pilot's sentence was cut short by a huge yawn.
"Looks like naptime for you. Come on I'll read you a story." And Wufei carried the yawning braided pilot up the stairs, who gave feeble sleepy protests. Once he was tucked into bed (chibified by the ever-forgiving Trowa. (The bed)) Wufei searched through all the books and comics in Duo's room, all of which were not appropriate for children under 18. (Much less the readers of this story.)
"Just a minute." The Chinese pilot told Duo, tucking him in so tightly that the chibified American could hardly move. Running down the stairs he dug through what Heero had bought for the small braided pilot.
"He didn't buy any damn books?" Wufei growled, pulling everything out. Finally, he got to the Clifford doll, with a small book attached. Dashing up the stairs, he tossed Duo the doll, and cracked open the book.
"My name is Emily…" he started. Duo rolled around the bed giggling. Complete with sound effects, hand motions, and a wide range of emotion, Wufei was as worn out as Duo when he had finished.
"More!" Duo squealed, trying to sit up, and gasping when the tight blankets cut off his air supply.
"Sorry." Wufei clapped the book shut and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. It was only a matter of seconds before the wailing started. Ignoring it, Wufei stomped down to the basement.
"WWWAAAAAAAAAA-" the screaming was cut off by a gunshot. Duo looked up fearfully at the smoking bullet hole above him.
"Stop crying." Heero ordered.
"Put 'em up pilgrim!" Duo challenged, before dropping off to sleep.
Trowa lay on the couch, trying to sleep without shifting around. The doctor had come back and wrapped up his ribs, and put a brace on his elbow and wrist. Quatre and Wufei had left the house ten minutes before to get Duo books and toys appropriate for younger children. Heero had slipped out of the house minutes after with his gun and laptop, to do some sort of mission.
"When Duo wakes up, remember to give him a bath," Quatre had reminded him before walking out the door.
Finally reaching a comfortable position, he sighed and closed his eyes when-
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Pulling the pillow over his face, Trowa forced himself to ignore the crying, when the screaming started. Rolling of the couch and stumbling to his feet while cursing extravagantly, Trowa trudged up the stairs to Duo's room. Kicking open the door, which trembled precariously on its hinges, he glared at the small braided boy.
"What."
Duo, however, had forgotten what he was crying about when he had caught sight of his 'playset savior'. "Clown!" He exclaimed pointing at Trowa's pants.
Looking down slowly Trowa noticed that he had put on a pair of pajama pants, with little clowns dancing all over them. His slippers were lions, but Duo didn't seem to notice those. (He wasn't wearing a shirt folks. The less clothes you have to struggle with, having that many broken bones, the better.)
"Yes, clown."
"Clown! Clown! Be a clown! Pwease?" Duo begged, batting his eyes. Under normal circumstances Trowa would have gladly obliged, but with a busted leg, arm, ribcage, and blistered hands, he didn't particularly want to try.
"No. Bathtime."
"Clown!!!" Duo exclaimed, crossing his arms and falling backwards onto the bed, immediately remembering what he had been sobbing about before. "WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
"Duo. What." Trowa rubbed his forehead; he was ready to hit this kid over the head with a chair.
"I wet my bed!!!" He cried, standing up again and sobbing.
"Really. That's too bad. It really is." Trowa neared the bed, and carefully picked up Duo, and set him down in the bathroom, helping the six- year-old peel off his clothes. (Eeeww)
He filled the tub, and Duo got in happily, even without the presence of toys, sitting there calmly while Trowa proceeded to clean him. Everything went fine until the beaten up pilot reached the shampoo.
With a howl, Duo's hands flew up and he started wailing. "I got shampoop in my eyes!!"
Because of this motion, soapy water flew out of the tub, just happening to fly right into Trowa's eyes, and causing them to sting. (No shit Sherlock.) This, and Duo's added wailing, made him stumble backwards to rub the soap out of his eyes until he could see properly again. But, it was just his luck, that he had to run into the wall, where a shelf holding glass containers trembled above him.
Even though that boy weighs close to nothing, the added thunk of his weight against the wall caused the shelf to tumble down. Instinctively Trowa's hands flew up to guard his head and neck, causing his fingers to get cut up pretty badly. The last container rocked back and forth on the edge for a few seconds, before tumbling forward right onto Trowa's head.
Howling like a wounded dog, Trowa stood up, hitting his head on the swinging shelf, and tried not to curl up on the ground in a fetal position. Touching his head tenderly, he noticed that it was bleeding quite generously, and stuck a towel on it to stop it long enough for him to be able to finish Duo's bath. Carefully wrapping up his sliced fingers, he blinked a few times and turned back to the bathtub, where Duo was sitting, playing some sort of game.
"I think you're finished." Trowa told him, picking the boy up, and crunching over the glass (thank god for the slippers).
Pretty much too dazed to do much, he let a giggling Duo pick out what he wanted to wear. (A bright pink Powerpuff girls shirt, Scooby Doo boxers, black shorts, and Batman socks.) Duo bounced up and down in his chair, while Trowa focused as much as possible to quickly braid his hair.
Picking up the soaked blankets and clothes, holding them as far away as possible from his nose, Trowa headed down the stairs. Duo skipped behind Trowa, nearly tripping him, twice.
"Stay here while I take care of this," he instructed Duo, opening the washing machine and dumping the load of sodden stuff. Bending over to pick up the detergent, the towel slid off his head. Shuddering his clutched his head.
"Stupid fucking Quatre, and his stupid fucking lotion in stupid fucking glass bottles." He muttered, cringing as he stood back up. (Lotion in a deep cut. Sounds pretty painful, ne?) Pouring half the box of detergent in the machine, slammed the lid shut and pounded a couple of buttons blindly, throwing in the blood covered towel for good measure before closing the lid.
He entered the family room, with a new towel on his head, to see…nothing.
"Duo?"
Silence.
"Duo, where are you?" He walked out to the back door and looked to see if he was playing on the playset. No such luck.
"Duo! Come out here right now!" He heard slight giggling coming from behind the TV. Dragging himself to the family room he peeked behind the monster, and sure enough, there sat Duo, perched on top of the wires and trying to reconnect them.
"I'm gonna fix the TB!" He pronounced, trying to connect a red and yellow wire.
"No. Don't do that."
Duo shook his head and grinned. "I want to!"
Too tired and sore to protest, Trowa trudged over to the couch and flopped down on it. He felt an enormous migraine coming on.
"It didn't work." Duo announced, climbing on top of his good leg. "I'm bored."
Trowa very slowly cracked open an eye. "Want to play airplane?"
"Okay!"
Duo climbed onto Trowa's foot and he started bouncing the mini-pilot up and down, sometimes throwing him in the air and catching him again, all with one leg. He managed to keep this up for about half an hour, until he heard the washing machine buzz.
"One more." He told Duo kicking him higher in the air then he had dared before. Duo came flailing back down and landed on Trowa's foot with a sickening crunch.
"Oh, god-" he cut himself short, as Duo climbed off and giggled madly. You moron! You should have known not to do that on your day from hell. He reprimanded himself mentally, and then stood up, swaying slightly, as he didn't want to put too much weight on his now broken foot.
Slowly limping to the bathroom, he pulled the now clean, but pink mess, out of the washing machine and dumped it on the ground to find a little lint trap cloth thingy. After managing this, he once again picked up the load and shoved it into the drier.
"Hey Duo, do you want to turn it on?"
Silence again.
"Duo, stop doing this to me!" He heard quiet laughter from inside the drier, and opened it. Duo was resting happily among the damp mass of sheets and clothes. "Get out of there." He instructed, but Duo just shook his head.
"I'm comfy!" He smiled.
"Come on Duo, really, get out of there." He started opening the door more.
Now, it was just poor Trowa's luck that the door had a little grip on the inside, for some reason or another, so this is what Duo grabbed, and pulled on, causing Trowa's fingers to get slammed in the drier.
He stopped himself from cussing in front of a child, but pitched forward, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the drier. For the next five minutes, he was hopping around trying his best not to run off and burn the whole house down.
Finally calming down a bit, he contented himself with kicking the wall as hard as he could. Of course, he forgot he had a broken foot. This time he didn't worry that Duo was in the vicinity.
"Oh, fuck!!"
TBC…..
Rated PG-13: Same thing as before. Language and boo-boo's
AN: You like me, you really like me! Somebody actually thinks this is funny! How did that happen? ^_^
God Help Us
They reached the mall in under ten minutes, compliments to Heero's madd driving skillz.
"Oh Heero, isn't this romantic?" Relena sighed as they walked down one of the many crowded walkways, paths, halls, whatever the hell they're called.
"I fail to see how walking through an extremely crowded place, with a six year old screaming Duo, and cheap ass stores is romantic."
"Don't you just love the mall?" She continued, ignoring Heero's reply.
"If it was bulldozed over and turned into a park and an gun store, then, yes, I would."
"Here we are! Oh, let's get smoothies before we get anything!" Heero silently handed her a five to dispose of her for a couple of minutes. Looking up at the store he was standing at the entrance to, he involuntarily retched.
"Abercrombie and bitch," he muttered, grabbing Duo and swinging him up to sit on his shoulders. "Let's go find a store that isn't full of people I hate." He told Duo walking off. He didn't care that he actually looked like a caring parent or older brother, Relena wouldn't be looking for one of those.
Waltzing into 'JC Penny's' he headed towards the kid's section and set Duo down. "What do you want?" Duo immediately latched himself to a Batman shirt, and Heero picked it up. "What else?" He followed Duo around, snatching up whatever shirts, socks, underwear, or pants Duo wanted, regardless of what they looked like. Walking towards the counter, Duo sitting atop his cartooned clothes, he managed to check his watch. It had only taken fifteen minutes.
"Clifford!" Duo yelled all of a sudden. "Clifford!" And he reached for a stuffed miniature version of the red dog.
"Fine, just shut the hell up." And Heero grabbed the doll for Duo, dumping everything else in front of the cash register.
"That will be one hundred dollars."
"A hundred dollars for a load of crap." Heero muttered, thrusting his credit card into the cashier's hands.
Lifting Duo back onto his shoulders, Heero grabbed the bag and got out of the store like a bat out of hell.
"Where's W-W-Relena?" Duo asked, as they flew by the stores.
"Don't know, don't care. Next time though, call her hellish troll bitch."
"Hellish twoll bitch!" Duo exclaimed.
"Good enough." Heero ran out of the mall and skidded to halt outside his car, sitting Duo in the front seat and buckling his seatbelt. He would have to be careful, or else he might actually start liking the young braided pilot.
"Let's get out of here." He said once he had seated himself behind the wheel, and was ready to stomp on the gas pedal when Relena appeared behind the car. Surprised, it took him a split second to actually stomp on the gas pedal. Relena just barely jumped out of the way, falling backwards and scraping herself up pretty badly. Heero chuckled, and started speeding out of the parking lot, when he heard something that made him stop dead. Imagine nails on a chalkboard. Now, magnify that about a hundred times. Yeah, you guessed it, Relena screaming.
"HHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" She screeched. Heero shuddered, and ever so slowly backed up the car. She smiled and hopped in.
Digging through Duo's clothes, her smile changed into a deep frown. "These clothes won't do at all! Powerpuff Girls? Marvin the Martian? What is this?"
"Clothes that he wants to wear. He's a six year old for God sakes, who cares what the hell he wants to wear?"
"I do! The general public does!"
"Who's the general public? The people who live up your ass?" Heero growled, speeding down the road, putting as much distance between himself and the mall as possible.
"Heero, I can't believe you! You didn't get ANYTHING nice at all!"
"I got a shirt with a collar."
"Yes, but it's a FAKE tuxedo shirt!"
"It has a damn collar." Heero protested, screeching to a halt at a red light and causing Relena to pitch forward against the back of Duo's seat.
Duo went into a fit of laughter, and managed to twist himself around to laugh at Relena's predicament. "Twoll bitch!" He giggled, falling back into his seat, in an uncontrollable fit of hysterics.
Heero smirked, and started the car before Relena could start scolding him on his terrible parenting skills. He did a 180 before pulling into the driveway, facing the tree on the opposite street. "You get out, or I run into tree." He said slowly enunciating each word.
Relena's face twisted horribly, and she got out of the car doing her best to glare daggers at Heero. He shot her back one of his worst, and pulled Duo and bag of clothes out of the car, casually flipping her off before wrenching open the front door.
As he set Duo down, said pilot ran down the hall screaming madly, and into the family room where he launched himself at the TV, cartoons not yet forgotten.
But it was no use. Wufei had completely mutilated the wires behind the TV, so that it was pretty much hopeless to get it hooked back up. Unless, of course, Duo turned back into himself and did an extraordinarily good job.
"That thing is out for good, kid." Heero told him, setting the bag down and collapsing on the kitchen chair, feeling like he had been out shopping for hours. (Spending half an hour with Relena will do that to you.)
Duo pouted, and then jumped up when something shiny caught his eye. He ran into the backyard, and squealed with delight diving into the swing on the newly built playset. Trowa was sitting under the tree nearby, reading a book, one of his thumbs bandaged, and his fingers covered in blisters and splinters. Heero stood at the back door, almost open mouthed, and staring at Trowa, who just shrugged.
Being a complete softie, and not holding grudges, (especially against such a cute kid) Trowa had constructed a playset for the small pilot while Heero had been tortured at the mall.
Duo swung back and forth, giggling, and having a great time, letting the other pilots do nothing but supervise. (Okay, letting the other pilots do nothing, and letting Trowa supervise.)
This semi-peace and relaxing time lasted for about an hour before Duo flew out of the swing, accidentally, and screaming for all he was worth. Trowa slammed down his book and dove forward, moving just fast enough to catch Duo one handed right before he hit the ground. (Hey he's not a Gundam pilot for nothing.)
"Thank you!" Duo exclaimed hugging Trowa around the neck, who winced. "I'm hungry!" He yelled, jumping up and running towards the kitchen. Trowa rolled over on his back and groaned.
He lay there for about half an hour until a peanut butter covered Duo and jelly covered Quatre walked out the back door. "Trowa? Are you okay?" Quatre asked kneeling down.
"I think I cracked a couple of ribs, twisted my elbow, and possibly sprained my wrist, but yeah. Just peachy." He sat up painfully and felt like tearing down the playset and stomping on it while yelling obscenities. Instead, he decided to go call the doctor for a second time, and lay on the couch wondering why the hell he kept getting beaten up.
"Come on Duo, let's go inside and help Trowa out. Duo? Duo! What are you doing!?"
Duo was standing on the top of the playset and waving his arms around like a lunatic. "I'm gonna jump!" He yelled. "Start chanting for me!"
"Did Heero let you watch one of his movies at the mall? Get down from there!" Quatre ran underneath the playset, ready to catch Duo if he did, in fact, try to jump.
"I'm a dinosaur! I'll be okay!" He called back, flapping his arms.
"Duo! Dinosaurs can't…" thud. "…fly."
Duo sat on the ground bawling his eyes out. His hands and knees had been scraped up. Quatre scooped Duo up carefully walking slowly back to the house, trying to comfort Duo. "Don't worry. I'll kiss it and make it all better." He reassured the small pilot, setting him down on the kitchen table.
He pulled out the first aid box, shaking his head almost violently, pretty sure that his sanity was being threatened.
Pulling out the peroxide he made a move to clean Duo's scraped knees, but was kicked in the jaw before he could. "It's gonna hurt! Don't hurt me!" Duo wailed, clutching his legs to his chest. He made a move to rest his chin on his knees, and howled when he made contact. "It hurts!" He cried.
Quatre rubbed his jaw, and moved forward again with the peroxide. He managed to narrowly dodge the swinging feet of death, and almost started swearing. "Duo, hold still."
He heard a snort from the doorway of the kitchen. "Don't be so lenient." Wufei instructed, grabbing a rag from the sink and getting it damp.
Taking Quatre's place in front of Duo, he reached out when Duo aimed his kick and grabbed his leg. He carefully dabbed the boy's knee so that it didn't hurt. After that he gladly sat there and let Wufei bandage him up in 'Blues Clues' Band-Aids.
"There. All better."
Duo jumped up and off to the table, latching himself to Wufei's neck. "Get off of me, Maxwell," Wufei growled, trying to pry Duo off.
"I don't w-" The young pilot's sentence was cut short by a huge yawn.
"Looks like naptime for you. Come on I'll read you a story." And Wufei carried the yawning braided pilot up the stairs, who gave feeble sleepy protests. Once he was tucked into bed (chibified by the ever-forgiving Trowa. (The bed)) Wufei searched through all the books and comics in Duo's room, all of which were not appropriate for children under 18. (Much less the readers of this story.)
"Just a minute." The Chinese pilot told Duo, tucking him in so tightly that the chibified American could hardly move. Running down the stairs he dug through what Heero had bought for the small braided pilot.
"He didn't buy any damn books?" Wufei growled, pulling everything out. Finally, he got to the Clifford doll, with a small book attached. Dashing up the stairs, he tossed Duo the doll, and cracked open the book.
"My name is Emily…" he started. Duo rolled around the bed giggling. Complete with sound effects, hand motions, and a wide range of emotion, Wufei was as worn out as Duo when he had finished.
"More!" Duo squealed, trying to sit up, and gasping when the tight blankets cut off his air supply.
"Sorry." Wufei clapped the book shut and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. It was only a matter of seconds before the wailing started. Ignoring it, Wufei stomped down to the basement.
"WWWAAAAAAAAAA-" the screaming was cut off by a gunshot. Duo looked up fearfully at the smoking bullet hole above him.
"Stop crying." Heero ordered.
"Put 'em up pilgrim!" Duo challenged, before dropping off to sleep.
Trowa lay on the couch, trying to sleep without shifting around. The doctor had come back and wrapped up his ribs, and put a brace on his elbow and wrist. Quatre and Wufei had left the house ten minutes before to get Duo books and toys appropriate for younger children. Heero had slipped out of the house minutes after with his gun and laptop, to do some sort of mission.
"When Duo wakes up, remember to give him a bath," Quatre had reminded him before walking out the door.
Finally reaching a comfortable position, he sighed and closed his eyes when-
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Pulling the pillow over his face, Trowa forced himself to ignore the crying, when the screaming started. Rolling of the couch and stumbling to his feet while cursing extravagantly, Trowa trudged up the stairs to Duo's room. Kicking open the door, which trembled precariously on its hinges, he glared at the small braided boy.
"What."
Duo, however, had forgotten what he was crying about when he had caught sight of his 'playset savior'. "Clown!" He exclaimed pointing at Trowa's pants.
Looking down slowly Trowa noticed that he had put on a pair of pajama pants, with little clowns dancing all over them. His slippers were lions, but Duo didn't seem to notice those. (He wasn't wearing a shirt folks. The less clothes you have to struggle with, having that many broken bones, the better.)
"Yes, clown."
"Clown! Clown! Be a clown! Pwease?" Duo begged, batting his eyes. Under normal circumstances Trowa would have gladly obliged, but with a busted leg, arm, ribcage, and blistered hands, he didn't particularly want to try.
"No. Bathtime."
"Clown!!!" Duo exclaimed, crossing his arms and falling backwards onto the bed, immediately remembering what he had been sobbing about before. "WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
"Duo. What." Trowa rubbed his forehead; he was ready to hit this kid over the head with a chair.
"I wet my bed!!!" He cried, standing up again and sobbing.
"Really. That's too bad. It really is." Trowa neared the bed, and carefully picked up Duo, and set him down in the bathroom, helping the six- year-old peel off his clothes. (Eeeww)
He filled the tub, and Duo got in happily, even without the presence of toys, sitting there calmly while Trowa proceeded to clean him. Everything went fine until the beaten up pilot reached the shampoo.
With a howl, Duo's hands flew up and he started wailing. "I got shampoop in my eyes!!"
Because of this motion, soapy water flew out of the tub, just happening to fly right into Trowa's eyes, and causing them to sting. (No shit Sherlock.) This, and Duo's added wailing, made him stumble backwards to rub the soap out of his eyes until he could see properly again. But, it was just his luck, that he had to run into the wall, where a shelf holding glass containers trembled above him.
Even though that boy weighs close to nothing, the added thunk of his weight against the wall caused the shelf to tumble down. Instinctively Trowa's hands flew up to guard his head and neck, causing his fingers to get cut up pretty badly. The last container rocked back and forth on the edge for a few seconds, before tumbling forward right onto Trowa's head.
Howling like a wounded dog, Trowa stood up, hitting his head on the swinging shelf, and tried not to curl up on the ground in a fetal position. Touching his head tenderly, he noticed that it was bleeding quite generously, and stuck a towel on it to stop it long enough for him to be able to finish Duo's bath. Carefully wrapping up his sliced fingers, he blinked a few times and turned back to the bathtub, where Duo was sitting, playing some sort of game.
"I think you're finished." Trowa told him, picking the boy up, and crunching over the glass (thank god for the slippers).
Pretty much too dazed to do much, he let a giggling Duo pick out what he wanted to wear. (A bright pink Powerpuff girls shirt, Scooby Doo boxers, black shorts, and Batman socks.) Duo bounced up and down in his chair, while Trowa focused as much as possible to quickly braid his hair.
Picking up the soaked blankets and clothes, holding them as far away as possible from his nose, Trowa headed down the stairs. Duo skipped behind Trowa, nearly tripping him, twice.
"Stay here while I take care of this," he instructed Duo, opening the washing machine and dumping the load of sodden stuff. Bending over to pick up the detergent, the towel slid off his head. Shuddering his clutched his head.
"Stupid fucking Quatre, and his stupid fucking lotion in stupid fucking glass bottles." He muttered, cringing as he stood back up. (Lotion in a deep cut. Sounds pretty painful, ne?) Pouring half the box of detergent in the machine, slammed the lid shut and pounded a couple of buttons blindly, throwing in the blood covered towel for good measure before closing the lid.
He entered the family room, with a new towel on his head, to see…nothing.
"Duo?"
Silence.
"Duo, where are you?" He walked out to the back door and looked to see if he was playing on the playset. No such luck.
"Duo! Come out here right now!" He heard slight giggling coming from behind the TV. Dragging himself to the family room he peeked behind the monster, and sure enough, there sat Duo, perched on top of the wires and trying to reconnect them.
"I'm gonna fix the TB!" He pronounced, trying to connect a red and yellow wire.
"No. Don't do that."
Duo shook his head and grinned. "I want to!"
Too tired and sore to protest, Trowa trudged over to the couch and flopped down on it. He felt an enormous migraine coming on.
"It didn't work." Duo announced, climbing on top of his good leg. "I'm bored."
Trowa very slowly cracked open an eye. "Want to play airplane?"
"Okay!"
Duo climbed onto Trowa's foot and he started bouncing the mini-pilot up and down, sometimes throwing him in the air and catching him again, all with one leg. He managed to keep this up for about half an hour, until he heard the washing machine buzz.
"One more." He told Duo kicking him higher in the air then he had dared before. Duo came flailing back down and landed on Trowa's foot with a sickening crunch.
"Oh, god-" he cut himself short, as Duo climbed off and giggled madly. You moron! You should have known not to do that on your day from hell. He reprimanded himself mentally, and then stood up, swaying slightly, as he didn't want to put too much weight on his now broken foot.
Slowly limping to the bathroom, he pulled the now clean, but pink mess, out of the washing machine and dumped it on the ground to find a little lint trap cloth thingy. After managing this, he once again picked up the load and shoved it into the drier.
"Hey Duo, do you want to turn it on?"
Silence again.
"Duo, stop doing this to me!" He heard quiet laughter from inside the drier, and opened it. Duo was resting happily among the damp mass of sheets and clothes. "Get out of there." He instructed, but Duo just shook his head.
"I'm comfy!" He smiled.
"Come on Duo, really, get out of there." He started opening the door more.
Now, it was just poor Trowa's luck that the door had a little grip on the inside, for some reason or another, so this is what Duo grabbed, and pulled on, causing Trowa's fingers to get slammed in the drier.
He stopped himself from cussing in front of a child, but pitched forward, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the drier. For the next five minutes, he was hopping around trying his best not to run off and burn the whole house down.
Finally calming down a bit, he contented himself with kicking the wall as hard as he could. Of course, he forgot he had a broken foot. This time he didn't worry that Duo was in the vicinity.
"Oh, fuck!!"
TBC…..