Just for a Little Longer While
by Kurai Atreides
Warning: Spoliers for up to Chapter 177 of Hikaru no Go manga.
Presented in Akira's POV, followed by Hikaru's.
~*~
Shindou.
I have seen a turmoil rising in you lately. I'm certain others also notice the same thing as your appearance has clearly given it away.
What'd happened?
It has started from your request to be Taishou so that you could play against Ko Yonha of Korea, then the exchange of fiery stares between you and him at the Hokuto Cup's reception, and finally you request the same thing for the second time.
I couldn't help wonder what your connection with Shuusaku is. Why do you get so emotional when it comes to him? Is that somehow also related to Sai?
I feel like you're a mystery that I probably could never solve in my entire life.
I want to be the one stepping into your world, the world that you refuse to let anyone approach, let alone dig into.
I know I could only wait. I know I should be patient. But I couldn't help getting curious. I worry about you.
And I couldn't help feeling left alone somehow, when you who usually walk side-by-side with me abruptly turn to another direction.
I get a little jealous of the tension between you and Ko Yonha. Maybe it's because that reminds me of our past encounter. I still feel the sense of those challenging moments.
Am I too selfish I want your attention to me the same way I still give so much of it to you? Is there still a bond of eternal rivalry between us?
~*~
Touya.
It may seem that I've completely ignored you lately. I haven't.
It's not that I don't get aware of your secret thoughtful glance cast my way at the reception. It's not that I don't get aware of your concerned, longing gaze following after my back when I rush back to my room after requesting Kurata-san yet again to be Taishou.
But my mind has lately focused on only one thing.
Sai.
He's my best friend. Though he himself has gone, a part of him still rests in me.
In my go.some moves that resemble his. And in my heart.
My mind is blind with anger. Anger at no one else but myself.
Had I let Sai played more than I did, he would have shown to people his skills and the name 'Shuusaku' wouldn't have been derided or forgotten.
Now that there is Sai no more, I'm the only one left to fulfill that task.
So that Sai's talent will be of no void or disappear.
I resent myself. I wish I played better than this. My ambition is to show to Ko Yonha, as well as others, "This is the legacy of Sai in me! So don't look down on Shuusaku because those moves are also Sai's!"
Right now I want to settle all of this first. I zone out of anything else.
I'm sorry I don't have a chance to tell you this in words, Touya.
But I'll get back to our rivalry eventually.
I will tell you about Sai and clarify matters one day.
I need time.
Just for a little longer while.
~*~
Note: Taishou means the First Hand.
Author's Note: Well, this ficlet is born since Hikaru's mind so captured by the matter involving Sai and Ko Yonha in the recent chapters. I wonder where Akira is inside Hikaru's head.
I confess I write this to satisfy my needs. I don't want to think that Hikaru entirely ignores Akira. I need a dose of intimate moment between Hikaru and Akira, even though it occurs only inside their mind, not outwardly. :)
by Kurai Atreides
Warning: Spoliers for up to Chapter 177 of Hikaru no Go manga.
Presented in Akira's POV, followed by Hikaru's.
~*~
Shindou.
I have seen a turmoil rising in you lately. I'm certain others also notice the same thing as your appearance has clearly given it away.
What'd happened?
It has started from your request to be Taishou so that you could play against Ko Yonha of Korea, then the exchange of fiery stares between you and him at the Hokuto Cup's reception, and finally you request the same thing for the second time.
I couldn't help wonder what your connection with Shuusaku is. Why do you get so emotional when it comes to him? Is that somehow also related to Sai?
I feel like you're a mystery that I probably could never solve in my entire life.
I want to be the one stepping into your world, the world that you refuse to let anyone approach, let alone dig into.
I know I could only wait. I know I should be patient. But I couldn't help getting curious. I worry about you.
And I couldn't help feeling left alone somehow, when you who usually walk side-by-side with me abruptly turn to another direction.
I get a little jealous of the tension between you and Ko Yonha. Maybe it's because that reminds me of our past encounter. I still feel the sense of those challenging moments.
Am I too selfish I want your attention to me the same way I still give so much of it to you? Is there still a bond of eternal rivalry between us?
~*~
Touya.
It may seem that I've completely ignored you lately. I haven't.
It's not that I don't get aware of your secret thoughtful glance cast my way at the reception. It's not that I don't get aware of your concerned, longing gaze following after my back when I rush back to my room after requesting Kurata-san yet again to be Taishou.
But my mind has lately focused on only one thing.
Sai.
He's my best friend. Though he himself has gone, a part of him still rests in me.
In my go.some moves that resemble his. And in my heart.
My mind is blind with anger. Anger at no one else but myself.
Had I let Sai played more than I did, he would have shown to people his skills and the name 'Shuusaku' wouldn't have been derided or forgotten.
Now that there is Sai no more, I'm the only one left to fulfill that task.
So that Sai's talent will be of no void or disappear.
I resent myself. I wish I played better than this. My ambition is to show to Ko Yonha, as well as others, "This is the legacy of Sai in me! So don't look down on Shuusaku because those moves are also Sai's!"
Right now I want to settle all of this first. I zone out of anything else.
I'm sorry I don't have a chance to tell you this in words, Touya.
But I'll get back to our rivalry eventually.
I will tell you about Sai and clarify matters one day.
I need time.
Just for a little longer while.
~*~
Note: Taishou means the First Hand.
Author's Note: Well, this ficlet is born since Hikaru's mind so captured by the matter involving Sai and Ko Yonha in the recent chapters. I wonder where Akira is inside Hikaru's head.
I confess I write this to satisfy my needs. I don't want to think that Hikaru entirely ignores Akira. I need a dose of intimate moment between Hikaru and Akira, even though it occurs only inside their mind, not outwardly. :)