Wrong Number
まちがいでんわ
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Takehito Koyasu. My ambition was to own them; but right now it's trying to get a chance with Mr. Takehito-sama (yes, literally translated to Japanese, it's Takehito-san-sama, which is my lame honorary title given to people). But here's a scene that would just happen were I to try achieving that dream:
Windy: Takehito-sama! Takehito-sama! I LURVE YOO! *Clings to his legs ala Shuichi to Yuki style* XD
Takehito-sama: Uh… I thought you said you were in love with Fujimiya. *Blinks*
Seki-sama: That's right, we heard you say that! Now move off my turf, Barbie Doll, that hunk there is mine!
Windy: Aww… Shucks! ;_; *Mopes in a dark corner*
See what I mean? But anyway, this fanfiction belongs to me. Schwarz prohibits stealing, because if you stole it, Takatori will be happy, and since Schuldig hates Takatori AND his golf clubs, he'll seek revenge by tormenting you for the rest of your life. Some other characters stated here belong to Walt Disney © and Square © respectively.
WARNING: Yaoi, if you don't like this, please leave. Oh, and horrible chibi death alert! You've been warned!
Dedicated to: Chris, and all those others whom I've made sad. To Gin Neko, I promised a happier story for Ran and Ken, so here it is! And especially to Fei, Lady Isa, Rach-chan, Kami-chan, Yoko-chan (hey, hope this cheers you up?), and Rika-chan (Na no da, take your time to reply, don't worry!), thanks so much for being so supportive! My heart popped! To Siberian, this one is also below Eek-level, but I really appreciated you dropping by from the big field in the sky!
Plot Cockroach: Ran is feeling rather disturbed by the calls Ken is getting. Intimidated, he decides to confront Ken about it, but Ken's not too open about his little secret! I got this idea when someone called to my workplace asking for someone that didn't exist there, but had the same name with my colleague. Weird. XD Pairing, if that's all you're here for (naughty you!), Ran x Ken, and a bit of a Yohji x Omi + Crawford triangle!
Note: Characters look like that from the manga!
______________________
"Hello? May I speak to Ken, please?"
Right. Someone just called the shop, looking to Ken. With no customary '-kun' or '-san' to decorate his name. And that wasn't bad enough. That voice sounded like that of a girl's, no, make that a sexy lady's, kind of like the ones Yohji hangs out with. Argh, scratch that. Make that a sexy lady's voice, kind of like the ones Yohji HUNG out with, before he discovered his 'hidden feelings buried deep within his heart for the bishounen that were awakened by a lame proposal from a low-down lump scum of a Schwarz member called Oracle to HIS bishounen, when there were other bishounen in his own house, like maybe, Nagi, who would more eagerly eat out of his paw than Omi'.
Nope, Yohji certainly did not like Oracle.
And Aya certainly did not like this voice over the phone. "Hold, please," he managed coldly. Argh, how he hated this! He turned to Ken and held the phone up. "It's yours, Hidaka."
"Oh, really?" Yohji popped up suddenly. "Was it a girl?"
"Mind your own business, Kudou," Aya huffed. "Go do something useful."
"Ah, ah, I was talking to KenKen, not Ayaya," Yohji managed to grit it out with a fixed grin. Aya's violet eyes narrowed dangerously.
"What… did… you… call me?"
"I called you -"
"Mou, Yohji-kun! Don't tease Aya-kun like that!" Omi looked up from the daisies he was watering.
"You heard what the charming young man said," a voice startled the four of them. "Well, greetings, Weiß," Crawford smirked winsomely at Omi. "And a wonderful day to you, oh fair and lovely angelic one."
Omi turned a pale shade of red and Yohji turned a pale shade of purple.
Aya whipped out his katana. "What are you here for, Schwarz?"
"Yeah, what do you want, you sardonic pedophile?" Yohji interrupted, his green eyes flashing with fury.
Crawford's smirk faded, only to be replaced by a tense line. "I would not call one other names, when they are superior to you, you skinny prostitute." He turned to Aya, and smirked again. "I'm not here to fight you, Weiß," he said simply, coolly. "I'm here to do what every man who steps into a flower shop does - to buy his loved one a gift."
"You love 'em, but they sure don't love you!" Yohji slammed the words at him; frustrated that Schwarz was making a move on his bishounen. To his shock, though, Aya stomped on his foot and hissed at him, giving him a 'do-not-ever-argue-with-a-potential-customer-especially-if-he's-loaded' look that spelled disaster.
"How may w-we help you then?" Omi stammered politely. He was still edgy over the man's last attempt to declare his undying love to him. Yes, it was that scary. Wouldn't being strapped to a chair across a mysterious, handsome and sensual man with a spread candlelit dinner in a darkened room with classical music playing feel scary? With him trying to make you drink spiked wine while you squirmed and yelled and screamed that you wanted out?
Well, maybe not.
But it sure was to Omi. He felt chilled to the bone when he caught Oracle's glance over his body. The man smirked again. "I want something fair, something beautiful, intelligent, as clear and innocent as an unblemished angel, unmarred by the sins of life."
Omi gaped for a moment. Wow, trust this man's choice of words to be that poetically beautiful. "Well, why don't you try some cherry blossoms? They symbolize intelligence, and they are pale, pretty, they bloom in spring, the season of the year where everything is washed clean by rain…" it was Omi's turn to feel happy with himself, he had a good choice of words there, didn't he? Oracle smirked in approval.
"Ah, lovely words from one lovelier."
Omi blushed, Yohji flushed. Ken rambled on over the phone and Aya leaned against the wall, nonchalantly chewing on a strawberry frosted donut.
The teenager stumbled over to fetch the flowers, but he stopped short. "Umm… I'm sorry, there's only one small branch-let left!"
"It's fine," Oracle waved absently. "I'll take it."
Omi nodded, hastily making his way to the counter to wrap the flowers and collect the pay. But he was stopped by a grasp on his arm. To his horror, it was Oracle who was holding on to him. Omi choked back a squeal as he felt the pressure on his arm. The smirk on the man's face dissolved into a rare smile. "No need to wrap it, my lovely."
"Uh?"
"I'll have it as it is, untainted," he said, plucking the flowers from the youth's hands. Ken put down the phone and stared in disbelief, while Yohji glowered. Aya looked half-interested, licking the frosting off his fingers.
"Why you…" Yohji stepped forward. As quick as lighting Aya extended his right foot and tripped the brunet, causing him to crash face first onto the floor.
Oracle ignored them, looking straight into the brunet youth's eyes. "As you are, precious sweetness, and this is for you," he continued airily, pressing a delicate blossom onto the youth's forehead. Then he leaned forward and brushed his lips chastely against Omi's.
Ken's eyes widened. Yohji growled loudly from the floor. Aya stood picking the rest of the candied decorations that he had scraped off the donut into the bag and saved for last, tasting them one by one, leisurely. Omi stood too stunned to react. And Oracle parted, pushing the cherry blossoms into Omi's hands. Casually, he slapped 10000 yen onto the counter top and slipped out of the shop.
The drama had finally ended.
"What did you do that for, Fujimiya?" Yohji roared hotly as he got up. "I would've showed him --"
"He was a paying customer, Kudou," Aya commented monotonously, crushing the pink paper bag in a fist. "Omi wouldn't have liked you to ruin business either."
Omi nodded silently, still somewhat shocked. He walked over to the vase he had taken the flowers from and put it back in its original place. "Back to work, everyone. Let's pretend nothing happened."
Only Ken seemed to comply easily. Yohji sulked; still dissatisfied with his little exchange with Oracle, Omi was dazed and a little embarrassed, while Aya was… Aya. He didn't look worried, or happy, or angry. He just looked Aya. But he was a little disturbed too, though not of Omi's plight. Omi was free to choose. He knew as much. He wasn't going to bother a young man who'd seen more than any other in his making any choice, wise or wrong.
But who in the world had just called Ken up?
____________________
The next few days were spent with Ken locking himself in his room right after every shift, every mission, and spare moment they had. This was weird, due to the fact that Ken usually liked being outdoors, or on a couch, watching football, eating, drinking or even reading comics and laughing out loud at them (really embarrassing, I must admit).
But what was more that unnerved Aya was the fact that Ken was really enthusiastic when he got phone calls, floundering and yelling when he was called to answer it. Aya picked generally most of them up, and yes, it was mostly always the same woman, if not, it was the voice of other girls.
Seriously, Ken was evolving into Kudou.
Aya didn't like this.
Not one bit.
Nuh-uh. He sure didn't.
But the only thing that marked a line between the assimilation was the fact that Ken never went out for dates after the calls. Either that, or the women never asked him out. Or vice-versa. Aya didn't understand why, but he did feel reassured when Ken returned to his room right after every call, and not go dashing out saying that he was going out on a date with someone.
Okay, so he did know a bit.
A little bit. Not much, anyway.
Yes, Fujimiya Aya was in like with Hidaka Ken.
Like. Not love. He liked those nice, warm brown eyes. He liked that particularly loud laugh when Ken would guffaw at weird comic funnies. He also liked that smile, that grin that reached his eyes and not come down. And he liked his tanned skin, sweet in both summer and winter alike. And then, there were the abs. Sexy abs, he'd admit. Moreover, there was his cute, annoying voice and pestering mother-hen-like one when anyone got hurt in missions. Aya liked that all.
He was, after all, in like with Hidaka Ken.
Not that he'd admit it, though. He continued being cold and Heartless. It would take a lot of Sora's to get him pinned for good, but nobody minded it.
The phone rang.
"Helloes, may Totty-chan speak to Kenny-pussy please?"
Aya flinched. That had to be the most irritating, shrill and girly voice he had EVER heard! "Hold please," he managed to grind out. He lifted a brow in Ken's direction. "Hidaka, it's yours."
Ken came yelling and he grasped the phone with all his might. "TOTTY-CHAN!"
Aya repressed his urge to shake Ken so hard, his brains rattled. He paused suddenly. Was he, Fujimiya Aya, jealous over Ken?
The Fujimiya, jealous?
Aya shook his head and stalked off. As he did, he was aware that there was a whispering voice by his shoulder. All a sudden, there was a 'pop' and a small boy in green appeared!
"Peter Pan?" his eyes went as wide as tea saucers.
"The one and only!" the tiny Peter Pan laughed and floated into the air. He gave a cock-a-doodle-doo and reseated himself on Aya's right shoulder. "I'm your good conscience, Ran!"
"You're an imp," Aya remarked coolly, like he was talking about the newspaper headlines. At that, another peculiar hoot resounded on his left shoulder. It was a miniature Captain Hook.
"Aha! And the man is right, Pan!" Captain Hook said the last syllable with enough viciousness to make a cockroach give up eating for a week. "I'm your bad conscience, Mr. Fujimiya! At your service!"
"You're both imps," Aya replied dryly.
"You're in love and you've decided to approach Ken," Peter Pan read out of his list. "Am I right?"
"No."
"Argh, damn Wendy for giving me the wrong list! But anyway, I'm here to advise you on your approaching method."
"Correction," Captain Hook said with authority. "I'M here to advise you, my good sir! Do not listen to that repulsive imp."
"I'm not a repulsive imp, you gimpy-legged sailor!"
"I am no gimpy-legged sailor, you green pantyhose donning scamp!"
"Pumpkin headed wig wearer!"
"Why you scruffy two-faced dirt eating child molester!"
"Who's the real child molester here? You tried to make big moves on Sora that time, didn't you?"
"I did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did t--"
"I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU TWO!!!" With reflexes as quick as that of lightning, Aya caught hold of the two consciences with both his hands and fisted them in. Then, he applied a pressure so great; they exploded into nothing.
And that was the end of Peter Pan of Neverland, together with his nemesis, Captain Hook.
Ken had had the phone hung up. He stared at Aya in curiosity… and was that shock? Aya didn't know. Ken decided to speak up, though. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, thank you very much," Aya's tone was as bland as vegetables cooked without salt. "Who was it on the line?"
Whoa, cover blown. Aya wanted to kick himself for sounding vaguely concerned. Ken blinked. "Oh, it was Totty-chan."
How obvious.
"Hn." Aya turned away and walked into his room, leaving a wide-eyed Ken behind.
"…Peter Pan?"
____________________
The following day was spent with yet another of Ken's friend's calling. Aya, strangely, had asked a few of their names. Hey, better knowing your competitors than never!
Competitors?
Man, this is getting SO screwed up…
Aya rolled his eyes to the heavens. He hated this… madness, besides, he thought that he was going insane. Not only was it then that he finally saw his consciences, but he had killed them as well. And Peter Pan? Hook? What sort of consciences were they anyway?
Give him a couple of hundred more yen and he'd swear to sue Disney for brainwashing him like that. And he'd sue Squaresoft too. Oh, yes, he would sue their pants off for making Omi buy that piece of contraption of a console and play that horrifyingly kiddy game called 'Fandom Hearts'… or was that 'Kingdom Farts'? He couldn't tell, but he sure as heck was going to sue Squaresoft, because it led him to watching Omi play one evening, and this cost him his sanity.
Well, watching it wasn't too bad, other than the fact that the game was a brainwashing agent and was completely addictive, especially coupled with the fact that the main character had a nice behind. And he had nice hips, too. And then there was Donald, who fought without wearing any pants. He walked around butt-naked, and no one minded.
Maybe it was his lack of sexual appeal. Or maybe he possessed none at all. Hmm.
Yes, Disney should DEFINITELY be sued. That's because they actually might brainwash adoring kids into thinking 'if I walked around without wearing any pants, no one will mind' and the whole world would be in chaos. And then there was the eunuch system. If nobody actually noticed, Donald Duck has NO MR. WINNY! Then, there was the horrible spelling mistake! Imagine; they spelled Money as Munny!
If there were one thing Aya really hated in the world, it would be someone mocking money.
I tell you, nothing is worse than someone mocking money.
Anyway, Aya didn't like the fact that Ken had calls from women. There was this Alice, May, Missy, Emmy, Millie, Mia, Daisy, and whatnots, and they all had girly voices, and giggles. He hated them. Not because they were women and they sounded girly, but rather, they called for Ken, and they gave him really stupid names.
Take Kennery-Kenny-Candy-Poos, for example. I mean, what sort of a name is that? What's so Kennery about Ken? Sure, Ken was Ken, but Kennery? Aya resisted the urge to just slam his fist into the women's faces. That was HIS Ken. HE had the right to call Ken Kennery-Kenny-Candy-Poos, because HE was in like with Ken!
"That's 'in love' with Ken," a miniature Aerith corrected him demurely.
Aya scowled at her. Stupid new conscience sent by Sora! When he got his hands on that kid with nice hips he'll -
"You should put a stop to that nonsense," a mini Sephiroth noted smoothly. "And I have a plan."
"Hn?" Aya lifted a brow. Sephiroth was probably more reliable than Peter Pan anyway… or was it Captain Hook?
"Let's kill them, and take over the world! HOO HOO HAA HA HA!" Sephiroth replied sinisterly.
Aya and Aerith both rolled their eyes simultaneously. Just then, the phone rang. Aya picked it up.
"Hey, may I speak to Ken, please?" it was a guy.
A guy competitor. And he sounded sexy too. Monotonous, but sexy nonetheless. Aya felt his heartbeat increase in speed.
"Who's this?"
"None of your business."
"Hn." Aya was at a loss on how to deal with this. Silence reigned for a moment. A sigh was sounded at the other end of the line before the voice spoke up again.
"I'm Squall. Ken called to ask me to his place. I need directions."
What? Asked him out? Sephiroth lifted a brow.
"Be nice, Aya, please," Aerith persuaded gently. "You can tell Ken how you feel before he arrives, and then if Ken likes you enough, he might not go out with - YAAAAH!"
Sephiroth had stabbed her through her heart with a toothpick. She popped and disappeared into nothing. Nonchalantly, the silver-haired General played with the piece of wood. "Just hang up."
Aya nodded. He liked his attitude! Turning back, he coldly said, "Wrong number," and hung up.
Placing the receiver back, Aya caught sight of a very dumbfounded Ken standing just by the counter. His eyes were narrowed suspiciously, though. No one else was in the shop then.
"Who was it on the line?"
"Nobody."
"Was it a guy called Squall?"
Aya's heart beat faster. He turned to Sephiroth for backup, but Sephiroth was NOWHERE to be found! "Ah… Hn… Um…"
"It was, wasn't it?" Ken exclaimed. "Why'd you hang up?"
The moment of truth had come.
Aya took a deep breath. Better to have loved than never, they say. "Ken… I'm sorry and all for hanging up on him like that, I just…"
"Aya…"
"…Don't know what you see in people, or what you want to see, and he may mean something to you…"
"Aya."
"But I think I know… that I'm jealous and all, because Ken…"
"Aya?"
"Ken, I think I'm in li… love with you."
Ken shut up. His eyes were as round as dinner plates. Aya stared at him and sighed. "If you don't like that, I can understand…"
"No, no, not like that!" Ken replied quickly. "You mean you got jealous of Squall?"
"And all the other women," Aya silently admitted.
"Over me?" Ken's eyes seemed to glisten, probably with anger. "And you went though all those insane yelling at nobody 'I've had it with you two', just because you were jealous?"
"No… they were…"
"And then you rambled over Peter Pan, and you cursed that you wanted to kill some kid called Sora for sending them, in your sleep -"
"You've been listening to my mumbling in my sleep?"
"And then Sephiroth and Aerith? And now you hang up on Squall for me? That's AWESOME!" Ken finally finished gushing. Aya blinked.
"Huh? You mean you're not mad?"
"Of course not!" Ken laughed. "Here, come, I want to show you something." He dragged Aya to his somewhat messily kept room by the hand and pushed the redhead onto the bed. Aya went red and sat up quickly.
"What…"
"I know it's too hot at this time of the year, but…" Ken spun around with a soft bundle of white in his arms. "Here, I made this… or rather, attempted to make this for you."
Aya received the bundle and unfolded it. It was a white sweater, done fine, but right at the collar and sleeves there were ends of thread jutting out messily everywhere! On the center were two badly embroidered Hiragana characters, making out the name Aya, with two ridiculous small hearts floating just above the end of the name. Ken looked down, blushing hard.
"Those calls from the girls were tips on how to sew and darn the sweater… they were really excited over it, so they'd call at times to ask of the progress."
"Did they know whom you were making it for?" Aya asked, still looking at it.
"Yeah, they sure did," Ken sighed. "In fact, they encouraged me to give you something homemade, something special, because they knew how I felt…"
"About me?" Aya looked up, feeling dizzy.
"Yeah," Ken shrugged. "But I messed up huh? So I went to look for a new present just yesterday. I bumped into Squall, who wanted to pawn off his one of his rings to me. It was a nice ring, too. So I agreed."
"He was supposed to send them to you?" Aya asked in horror. "I…"
"S'kay."
"Thanks."
"Sorry I couldn't get you another present."
"You already got me a good one," Aya replied easily. It was hard to stay cold around Ken. He'd given up minutes ago already. The redhead slipped the sweater on casually and straightened it out. "See?"
He looked so ridiculous; Ken had to laugh. But it was warm, all the same. "Hey, Aya."
"Hn?"
"I love you too."
Above them, unheard, was a sigh. A tiny brunet was sitting on the top of the open window enjoying the warm summer breeze. "Hey, I think I'd like a sweater too. Maybe I should make one…"
"I'll make it for you, master," the miniature Captain Hook with a leg-cast stepped up, rubbing his hook.
"No way! I'LL make it!" the small Peter Pan with a bandage on his head argued back.
"No, I will!" a tiny Cloud said.
"No, me!"
"Me, me, me!"
The brunet rolled his eyes and peered outside through the window, turning upside down as he did. It was warm, and the skies were blue.
It was the fourth of July.
~*~*~ End ~*~*~
Note: Now, THAT was insane! Personally, I like Kingdom Hearts a lot. I can't believe it took me so long to finally decide to play it, but I guess the kiddy outlook fooled me at first. The second reason was that I was broke. That insult on their title was just for fun. So relax. I'm a huge Squaresoft supporter anyway. Well, not so huge as to play their old games, but large enough to say that all they've done is good. Very good. Initially I'd wanted to add Gravitation characters as consciences, but I couldn't bear Ran squishing them… ;_;
Well, anyway, thanks so much for reading!