Chapter 4
As I said, Mother spoke little of her early days in Rivendell, apart from the meeting of Arwen and Aragorn in the gardens.
Apparently little happened for the next few years. Lady Arwen remained in Lorien with her grandparents, as it was not safe for her to return due to Orc activity. Mother travelled once or twice to the land of her people, once staying several months.
After her lengthy stay, she returned to Rivendell, restless of body and soul. It was in about a month later that Elrond questioned my mother on her troubles.
Lady Gilraen, are you well? You seem...upset about something?' he asked her.
`Lord,' she replied softly, `I feel restless. My son needs me little any more; that is how it should be, he is growing up quickly. I have no place among my people, and I feel useless here'.
Elrond gave her a look full of understanding. `You feel what all mothers do when their children grow up. My dear wife was the same when our children became adults. It is sadly true; they do not stay children for long! Just the same, I thought something else ailed you.'
Surprise tinged Gilraen face. `What my lord?' She asked.
`I did think that maybe you wished to go back to your people.' He answered. `You were widowed very young; many have expected you to re marry.'
`Have you heard something I have not', she said, looking a bit put out.
`No, I have not, but I did wonder if that was your problem', Elrond said
`Absolutely not!' said Gilraen.
`Ah, you are still loyal to Arathorn, even though 10 years have passed.'
`No', she said, `I just do not wish to marry again.'
Elrond raised his eyebrows as he looked at the young woman. `Have I missed something? He questioned. `I was told you wished to marry Arathorn'.
`That was a story my mother spread. She wanted me off her hands and out of her life; she had disliked me since my younger brother was drowned in a tragic accident one day when we were watering horses. She blamed me for his death, so when Arathorn offered for me because I am distantly related to the ruling family she was determined that I would marry him whether I wished to or not. He cared only that I was young and strong and likely to bear him a son', she said. She walked to the window and looked out at the heavy rain, her arms folded over her chest. She sighed deeply and continued `If I had not fallen pregnant so soon, I would probably have killed myself in that first year. And had I been older I should have coped better.'
`I knew of course, that Arathorn changed when his first wife died in child birth, but I did not realise that he had become so bitter that would be unkind to you,' Elrond said, looking shocked.
`Not unkind, indifferent and uncaring would be closer to the truth. I was just a brood mare to him, once Aragorn was born he hardly noticed my existence,' Gilraen said.
She turned away from the window; her face looking like it was carved in stone. `So now you know the truth, a thing few do.'
Elrond handed her a glass of wine, `You have lost all your colour; drink this; you will feel better.' He manoeuvred her to chair and made her sit down. Elrond than took a chair facing her.
`Do you wish to speak to me of this?' he asked her gently.
Gilraen looked up, her hands gripping the wine cup tightly. She took a sip before answering him, her hands now shaking so badly that she spilled some of the wine,
`As a healer, Lord Elrond, you should know the dangers of re-opening old wounds'
As I said, Mother spoke little of her early days in Rivendell, apart from the meeting of Arwen and Aragorn in the gardens.
Apparently little happened for the next few years. Lady Arwen remained in Lorien with her grandparents, as it was not safe for her to return due to Orc activity. Mother travelled once or twice to the land of her people, once staying several months.
After her lengthy stay, she returned to Rivendell, restless of body and soul. It was in about a month later that Elrond questioned my mother on her troubles.
Lady Gilraen, are you well? You seem...upset about something?' he asked her.
`Lord,' she replied softly, `I feel restless. My son needs me little any more; that is how it should be, he is growing up quickly. I have no place among my people, and I feel useless here'.
Elrond gave her a look full of understanding. `You feel what all mothers do when their children grow up. My dear wife was the same when our children became adults. It is sadly true; they do not stay children for long! Just the same, I thought something else ailed you.'
Surprise tinged Gilraen face. `What my lord?' She asked.
`I did think that maybe you wished to go back to your people.' He answered. `You were widowed very young; many have expected you to re marry.'
`Have you heard something I have not', she said, looking a bit put out.
`No, I have not, but I did wonder if that was your problem', Elrond said
`Absolutely not!' said Gilraen.
`Ah, you are still loyal to Arathorn, even though 10 years have passed.'
`No', she said, `I just do not wish to marry again.'
Elrond raised his eyebrows as he looked at the young woman. `Have I missed something? He questioned. `I was told you wished to marry Arathorn'.
`That was a story my mother spread. She wanted me off her hands and out of her life; she had disliked me since my younger brother was drowned in a tragic accident one day when we were watering horses. She blamed me for his death, so when Arathorn offered for me because I am distantly related to the ruling family she was determined that I would marry him whether I wished to or not. He cared only that I was young and strong and likely to bear him a son', she said. She walked to the window and looked out at the heavy rain, her arms folded over her chest. She sighed deeply and continued `If I had not fallen pregnant so soon, I would probably have killed myself in that first year. And had I been older I should have coped better.'
`I knew of course, that Arathorn changed when his first wife died in child birth, but I did not realise that he had become so bitter that would be unkind to you,' Elrond said, looking shocked.
`Not unkind, indifferent and uncaring would be closer to the truth. I was just a brood mare to him, once Aragorn was born he hardly noticed my existence,' Gilraen said.
She turned away from the window; her face looking like it was carved in stone. `So now you know the truth, a thing few do.'
Elrond handed her a glass of wine, `You have lost all your colour; drink this; you will feel better.' He manoeuvred her to chair and made her sit down. Elrond than took a chair facing her.
`Do you wish to speak to me of this?' he asked her gently.
Gilraen looked up, her hands gripping the wine cup tightly. She took a sip before answering him, her hands now shaking so badly that she spilled some of the wine,
`As a healer, Lord Elrond, you should know the dangers of re-opening old wounds'