Chapter 10

This is from Haldir's P.O.V. Elrond has deserted me and Haldir has taken over at the moment, please be patient, Elrond will eventually let me get back to him.

I watch her walk towards me, the night breezes blowing her waist length dark hair about her. It is late, and I had not expected to see her, hoped but not expected.

She is hesitant approaching me, and I regret that I have caused her so much confusion and made her so uncertain about her future. Unknown to anyone else, I have had a long talk to Queen Arwen. As Captain of the Border Guards of Lothlorien I got to know Arwen well, and she sought me out to try to put right the situation between myself and Elandra.

'You see, Haldir', she had said to me, 'Elandra has considered you her friend. She is mortal, and never thought an Elven man would be interested in her in a romantic way. So you have shocked her terribly there. And then, but of course you did not know this, Elandra has been receiving a number of offers from those seeking political alliances with Gondor. She feels trapped and afraid that she will be forced by circumstances to marry one she does not wish to. Marriage is the last thing Elandra wishes to discuss with anyone.'

'You are telling me that my proposal was ill-timed?' I had replied to her.

'Unfortunatly, yes. Worse still, I know she thinks the one person she could rely on has betrayed her. She really has never considered marriage, and she is very frightened by the fact that there are number of men seeking her hand, and does not how to cope with the fact that she is no longer a Ranger, but a Princess. Her life has been turned upside down, and she is having great difficulty understanding what has happened to her.'

'Betrayed her!' I gasped. 'How?'

Arwen had given me a pitying look. 'Men!' she said exasperated. 'Elf, or mortal, you are all the same!'

I had remained silent, feeling and no doubt looking bewildered.

'Elandra does not need more people badgering her to marry, she needs a friend to talk to, someone to support her and help her through a difficult time. You should think more about she needs and she wants now, not what you do. Let Elandra adjust to her new life, and then make proposals of marriage to her. She is very hurt and angry that you could not understand and respect this.'

I stood stunned and unhappy. What had I done? Elandra was the most important person in my life, I had loved her from the moment I and my brothers had caught her on the borders of Lothlorien 38 years ago. Like most Elven men I had taken no notice of the few mortal women I had met, but I noticed this woman was different from the beginning. I should have declared myself to her years ago, but due to war, constant unrest from stray orcs, my duties as a border guard, and hers a Ranger, it was not appropriate to wed then. Life is more settled now, and I feel that it is time Elandra lived her life, and gave up her life of service to others, she lived long enough in danger.

'Thank you, my Queen', I had whispered. 'I will try to rectify my behaviour. I only hope Elandra will forgive me.'

Arwen had smiled and left me, saying as she went 'I am sure you can, but think before speak to her, and all will be well. Elandra is very fond of you, and I am sure dislikes this coldness between you as much as you do.'

That had been this afternoon. I had indeed done so deep thinking since then, and was desperate to see Elandra and talk to her.

She is near now, and I do not know what to say to her. I speak her name in greeting, and she looks up at me; I see the hurt in her beautiful black lashed crystal blue eyes.

'Good evening, Haldir', she said, 'What are you doing on the ramparts this night?'

'Looking at the stars, and waiting for a friend.' I hesitate before continuing speaking. 'I am glad you are here, Ellie,' I say, 'I have missed you these last days'.

'And I you.' She walks to tower nearby and leans on it, looking up at the moon.

I move towards her, and lay my hands on her shoulders. She does not move, but I feel the tension in her, and wonder whether touching her is a good idea.

Then she spoke, 'Why did you never speak of your feelings for me? I had no idea that you thought I was more than a friend.'

'The time was never right. Always we drawn apart by our duties, then lately war. I should have been more tactful, I know that now. Will you forgive me for not understanding that the last thing you needed right now is for me to reveal myself to you? I did not think, and I hope that I have not offended you beyond all hope.'

She turns to face me. 'Never would you be able to offend me to the point I would never wish to see you again. I just never thought we could be more than friends, and I am unsure and confused about how I feel about you, and I can't think about this or come to a decision until after my mission to Harad' she replies.

I shudder at the mention of her mission. 'You leave tomorrow,' I say, unable to think of anything to say to her.

'No, a week's delay now. I can't tell you why, Aragorn has asked to speak of it to no one.'

Strangely, I feel relief. A delayed mission may never take place, and I cling to that hope. 'You look tired, my dear, I think I should escort you to your rooms, and take my leave of you for tonight'.

She agrees, and we walk hand in hand to her rooms, at the doorway she turns to me and bids me good night and I take her hands in mine and kiss her fingers softly. She stares at me, her eyes wide.

I release her hands, aware that if I do not leave now, I may not be able to. 'Good night, my dear', I whisper as I turn and walk away.