Ok, now our story finally starts...well. more or less. Has your guess been
right!
Thanks to Wuemsel für the li'l commercial breaks. You rule, gurl! Obst, Obst, Obst!!
Thanks to all of you for the reviews, please keep it up and tell me if you still like the story. I had the idea to find a song for each chapter of this fanfic, hope you like it, if not, don't worry, it's just an experiment. ("It's alive Igor! hahahahahaha" *flash, thunder*) lol You'll be amazed what is actually played in Germany! ;-) *yodel* hehe
Well, enjoy!
The book closes and we try to forget
But I know that things won't change
How we feel, how life goes on
And that seems so strange
Everyday, everyday you know I try so hard
Everyday, everyday it gets a little harder
Taken from the song "Everyday" on the album "Both Sides" (1993) published by Phil Collins
----------------------
Dr. Jesse Travis let his head sink onto his folded arms on the reception desk and sighed exhaustedly. He was so damn tired. The shift had been hard and wasn't even half over by now. Sometimes he wondered why he had become a doctor. There were other jobs, well-paid ones with fixed working hours. 'But no, Mr. Travis must study medicine with the intention to content his parents and is even surprised as that doesn't work...'Jesse thought. Normally he loved his job, he knew that these kinds of thoughts were a result of a day full of hard work. In fact he wasn't that negative.
"Dr. Trevor, here you are, I almost wouldn't have found you. It's as though you've been hiding from me..." Jesse heard an annoying voice near his right ear and lifted his head slowly. In front of him stood Brandon Dawn, the new hospital administrator, who had been getting on Jesse's nerves for hours.
"You don't say so!", mumbled Jesse and was up to walk away, but Dawn caught him up after a few feet.
"You know, I've thought about the little discussion we had earlier..."
'As far as I remember you talked while I tried to get some sleep', Jesse didn't say anything, but just rolled with his eyes.
"Jeremy, listen to me, if we really want to improve the capability of the ER staff, we should..." Dawn wasn't very impressed by Jesse's incorrespondetive behaviour.
"Jesse! My name is Jesse Travis!", corrected Jesse dryly.
"What? Oh yeah, Jesse! Ok, we should..." Dawn let out a sermon about something Jesse wasn't interested in.
Dr. Mark Sloan was coming out of the lounge and watched his friend being talked to death by Dawn. Mark saw Jesse's tired look, the deep lines under his eyes, he didn't even seem to have had time for a shower after the last surgery, his skin was glossing from the slight sweat. His posture was typical for him, he always looked the same when he tried to make an awake impression, but he couldn't hide his tiredness, not in front of Mark.
Jesse moved his shoulders in small revolutions to ease his muscles. His hands bobbed a little up and down and his fingers clenched and relaxed in regular intervals. He didn't keep eye contact with his interlocutor, which he usually did, but now his looks were wandering around in the room, his eyes weren't fixed on anything special.
Mark suddenly realized that he knew Jesse really well. He could tell from one quick sight what Jesse felt like. It was the same with his son, Steve, of course, but Jesse wasn't his son and though Mark felt connected with him in the same strange way as he felt with Steve.
Right now, Jesse had spotted his friend standing only a few feet away and formed with his lips a soundless 'Rescue me!'
Mark understood and reacted immediately. He walked over to his friend and the still pratteling administrator. As he stood behind Dawn, that only Jesse could see him, he put on a very important look and tapped Brandon's shoulder. "Excuse me..."
The other one turned around and scrutinisized Mark. At first he didn't seem to recognise him, he hardly knew any of the doctors yet, but then the penny fell. "Uh, Dr. Spoon, nice too see you!"
"Sloan!", corrected Mark, trying not to giggle but to go on playing his part.
"You wanna join our little discussion group?" Dawn grinned engagingly or at least he hoped that it looked like that. He had heard so many storys about the head of the internal medicine and medical consultant of the LAPD, that he couldn't wait to meet this man. Actually Dawn had expected a mixture of Robin Hood, Socrates, James Bond and Charlie Chaplin, but the guy in front of him didn´t have many similarities with Kevin Costner or Pierce Brosnan, and also a strange black hat and the antique clothes were missing.
Dr Mark Sloan shook his head and looked very seriously at the younger man in scrubs. "Sorry to disturb you, Mr Dawn, but I need to talk to Dr Travis. Urgently!"
"Oh, I understand...", Dawn bit on his lip and realized that this didn't seem to be the right time to speak about capabilities and the budget. The two men watched each other very concernedly, of course it was something important. So Dawn turned and walked away. He had to talk to the pathologist anyway. What was her name? A car brand...."Dr Mercedes!", called Brandon and ran after Amanda, who was just heading for the elevator.
Mark and Jesse watched the pain in the neck going after his next victim and had to grin. They felt slightly sorry for making fun of the man so badly. "And I always thought Norman was hardly to bea....." The last letter of the word was swallowed by Jesse's yawn. He rubbed his eyes. "Never mind. Thanks Mark, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come by. I owe you something..."
Mark smiled friendly. "Oh, you really could do me a favor. Go to the next free bed you find, lay down and take a nap. Jesse, some of the bodys in Amanda's pathology lab look healthier than you!" Saying that he pushed Jesse to the door of the restroom. Jesse was too tired to argue. He collapsed onto one of the couches and was sleeping within seconds. "And I haven't even needed sedatives...." Mark mumbled amusedly, scrutinisizing the figure, whose cest lifted and sank calmly and regularly.
Jesse was woken up by a well-known sound that came from the direction of his waistband. 'Beep...beep...beep', his pager had went off and told him that he was needed in the ER. He glanced at his watch, he had slept for about two hours, it was already dark outside. Actually he didn't feel much better than before. But he hadn't time to think about his condition. Duty was calling. Groaning, Jesse got up and made his way to the ER.
When he got there, a strecher was rolled in by two paramedics. "What have we got?", asked Jesse, pulling gloves over his hands, and took the chart that one of the nurses handed to him. His gift to be concentrated even when he was terribly tired was amazing. It made him to one of the bests.
"Female, middle twenties, white, was hit by a car and unconscious when we arrived. Head injuries, probably internal bleedings, broken ribs. Heart stopped during the ride, but we got her back....Doc?!"
Tom Chandler, the young paramedic, frowned at the doctor who had just got as pale as a wall. Jesse stared in shock at the young woman on the stretcher. Her forehead was covered with blood, her eyes were closed and she looked completely lifeless. But he was sure that he had recognised her. Or maybe not? It had been a while go...
"Dr Travis?! Are you ok? Can you hear me?", Tom waved his hand in front of Jesse's face, who had seemed to be blacking out for seconds. Jesse got aware of him and nodded weakly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm ok! Do you have her name?"
"Yeah, this passport was in her bag." Tom gave the passport to the doctor and wondered secretly what was wrong with him. This man made always such a determined impression, but now it was almost as though his thoughts weren't...weren't there. The sight of the passport made Jesse shudder inwardly. He hadn't erred. But he couldn't escape, so he swallowed his nausea, prayed loudlessly for strength and followed the ER team of the Community General Hospital into the trauma room.
"Ford, BMW, Renault...I think there is no car brand, Dawn hasn't named me after!", Amanda told Mark, filling out the last autopsy reports at her desk. The older doctor simply chuckled.
"That's not funny, Mark! It's easier to stand CJ and Dion together with six of their friends than that man. Gosh, I really wondered where the off- button was." Amanda pulled the sheets over the victim of a surf accident and snorted unnervedly. She glanced at Mark. "Where is Jesse by the way? He should have been here with two cups of strong, steaming coffee about fifteen minutes ago!"
"When I last saw him he was sleeping on the couch in the restroom..."
"Firmly?!"
He nodded. "Like a baby!"
She glared suspiciously at him. "You didn't give him sedatives again, did you?"
Mark giggled and shook his head. "Wasn't necessary at all!" Suddenly his pager started to beep. Having had a quick look at it, Mark got up. "Gotta go to the ER. And I promise you a cup of coffee when I get back. Bye!"
"You are the best!" She smiled at him and watched him leaving the room.
"Hey Nancy, what's the matter?" asked Mark the nurse at reception desk. She looked sheepishly at him. "Oh, Dr. Sloan! Nothing special....it's just...we got a victim of a car accident and Dr. Travis made a very....unconcentrated impression to me...so thought I'd better call you..."
Mark frowned at her. That didn't fit to Jesse. Of course, he was stressed and probably tired, but that normally didn't obstruct him in doing his job. But Nancy was a good nurse and Mark held female intuition in high esteem. So he decided to have a look at the situation, maybe Jesse could really need some help. He took a chart from Nancy and quickly read through it. Or at least that was his intention, but his attention was caught by the name that was written at the top. Now the description of Jesse's behavior didn't surprise him any more.
Gulping heavily, he entered the room, where the members of the ER staff were wizzing around like some excited bees. At the first sight everything was as it should be.
"Respiratory tracts are clear, you wanna intubate, Dr Travis? Doctor?!" The nurse shouted at Jesse who was busy with staring at the x-ray pictures in shock.
"What, yeah...of course! We need to operate as soon as possible, a piece of the a rib is going to puncture the lung otherwise..." Jesse felt his blood pounding in his ears, he could barely hear himself. But it wasn't the right time now. He had to get control over his emotions somehow.
"But you're not going to do it! You won't operate her!" Mark had build up next to Jesse and looked very resolutely. He was worried about Jesse. And he was also worried about her. Jesse was the best doctor Mark had ever seen, but under such a terrible psychological pressure, even the best doctor in the world could make a mistake. Also doctors were only human beings.
Jesse shook his head dismissingly. "I can, Mark, really, it's not a problem!"
The head of the internal medicine watched him in disbelieve. "I don't want you to do it and I can't let you do it, not only because I'm a doctor, but because I'm your friend. She is your ex-girlfriend, Jess!"
"As if I wouldn't know that!", Jesse almost shouted at the older doctor. Until this moment the other people in the ER hadn't noticed the argument between the two of them, as Mark and Jesse had been discussing in undertone, but when Jesse raised his voice, they suddenly glanced at him confusedly. Their looks told Jesse that they thought he was going crazy.
Actually he wasn't crazy, he was just awfully angry. He didn't know with whom. With himself, with the guy who had done that, maybe even a bit with her. He knew it was witess. And he couldn't help feeling that way, though. Scrutinisizing the syringe in his hand, he suddenly seemed to realize what he was doing. Jesse had to admit that Mark was right, he didn't like it, but their was no need to quarrel any more.
"Please don't let her die!" he said in a low voice and his big blue pleading eyes met Mark's, who nodded, quite relieved that Jesse was giving up. He could understand that this wasn't easy for him. Jesse turned around and pulling the gloves from his hands and smashing them into a waste bin, he left the trauma room.
From outside he listened to Mark's voice, which shouted commands. Then he headed for the lounge. He couldn't stand that noise any more.
When Mark came out of the OR some hours later, he ran directly into Amanda.
"Mark, here you are! I was believing..." She stopped, wondering why he looked so bad. He was exhausted and seemed to be very nervous about something. "Have you lost your patient?" It was the only explanation that made sense.
He shook his head. "She is in a coma. Her condition is very serious. Honestly, it doesn't look as though she will make it..."
She put her hand on his trembling arm and noticed that something about the situation bothered him even more than usually. And she had a question: "Why have you been operating? Isn't she Jesse's patient?"
He took a deep breath. "That's the problem." He hesitated and when she gave him an asking look, he opened his mouth again slowly. "It's.... it's Susan!"
Thanks to Wuemsel für the li'l commercial breaks. You rule, gurl! Obst, Obst, Obst!!
Thanks to all of you for the reviews, please keep it up and tell me if you still like the story. I had the idea to find a song for each chapter of this fanfic, hope you like it, if not, don't worry, it's just an experiment. ("It's alive Igor! hahahahahaha" *flash, thunder*) lol You'll be amazed what is actually played in Germany! ;-) *yodel* hehe
Well, enjoy!
The book closes and we try to forget
But I know that things won't change
How we feel, how life goes on
And that seems so strange
Everyday, everyday you know I try so hard
Everyday, everyday it gets a little harder
Taken from the song "Everyday" on the album "Both Sides" (1993) published by Phil Collins
----------------------
Dr. Jesse Travis let his head sink onto his folded arms on the reception desk and sighed exhaustedly. He was so damn tired. The shift had been hard and wasn't even half over by now. Sometimes he wondered why he had become a doctor. There were other jobs, well-paid ones with fixed working hours. 'But no, Mr. Travis must study medicine with the intention to content his parents and is even surprised as that doesn't work...'Jesse thought. Normally he loved his job, he knew that these kinds of thoughts were a result of a day full of hard work. In fact he wasn't that negative.
"Dr. Trevor, here you are, I almost wouldn't have found you. It's as though you've been hiding from me..." Jesse heard an annoying voice near his right ear and lifted his head slowly. In front of him stood Brandon Dawn, the new hospital administrator, who had been getting on Jesse's nerves for hours.
"You don't say so!", mumbled Jesse and was up to walk away, but Dawn caught him up after a few feet.
"You know, I've thought about the little discussion we had earlier..."
'As far as I remember you talked while I tried to get some sleep', Jesse didn't say anything, but just rolled with his eyes.
"Jeremy, listen to me, if we really want to improve the capability of the ER staff, we should..." Dawn wasn't very impressed by Jesse's incorrespondetive behaviour.
"Jesse! My name is Jesse Travis!", corrected Jesse dryly.
"What? Oh yeah, Jesse! Ok, we should..." Dawn let out a sermon about something Jesse wasn't interested in.
Dr. Mark Sloan was coming out of the lounge and watched his friend being talked to death by Dawn. Mark saw Jesse's tired look, the deep lines under his eyes, he didn't even seem to have had time for a shower after the last surgery, his skin was glossing from the slight sweat. His posture was typical for him, he always looked the same when he tried to make an awake impression, but he couldn't hide his tiredness, not in front of Mark.
Jesse moved his shoulders in small revolutions to ease his muscles. His hands bobbed a little up and down and his fingers clenched and relaxed in regular intervals. He didn't keep eye contact with his interlocutor, which he usually did, but now his looks were wandering around in the room, his eyes weren't fixed on anything special.
Mark suddenly realized that he knew Jesse really well. He could tell from one quick sight what Jesse felt like. It was the same with his son, Steve, of course, but Jesse wasn't his son and though Mark felt connected with him in the same strange way as he felt with Steve.
Right now, Jesse had spotted his friend standing only a few feet away and formed with his lips a soundless 'Rescue me!'
Mark understood and reacted immediately. He walked over to his friend and the still pratteling administrator. As he stood behind Dawn, that only Jesse could see him, he put on a very important look and tapped Brandon's shoulder. "Excuse me..."
The other one turned around and scrutinisized Mark. At first he didn't seem to recognise him, he hardly knew any of the doctors yet, but then the penny fell. "Uh, Dr. Spoon, nice too see you!"
"Sloan!", corrected Mark, trying not to giggle but to go on playing his part.
"You wanna join our little discussion group?" Dawn grinned engagingly or at least he hoped that it looked like that. He had heard so many storys about the head of the internal medicine and medical consultant of the LAPD, that he couldn't wait to meet this man. Actually Dawn had expected a mixture of Robin Hood, Socrates, James Bond and Charlie Chaplin, but the guy in front of him didn´t have many similarities with Kevin Costner or Pierce Brosnan, and also a strange black hat and the antique clothes were missing.
Dr Mark Sloan shook his head and looked very seriously at the younger man in scrubs. "Sorry to disturb you, Mr Dawn, but I need to talk to Dr Travis. Urgently!"
"Oh, I understand...", Dawn bit on his lip and realized that this didn't seem to be the right time to speak about capabilities and the budget. The two men watched each other very concernedly, of course it was something important. So Dawn turned and walked away. He had to talk to the pathologist anyway. What was her name? A car brand...."Dr Mercedes!", called Brandon and ran after Amanda, who was just heading for the elevator.
Mark and Jesse watched the pain in the neck going after his next victim and had to grin. They felt slightly sorry for making fun of the man so badly. "And I always thought Norman was hardly to bea....." The last letter of the word was swallowed by Jesse's yawn. He rubbed his eyes. "Never mind. Thanks Mark, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come by. I owe you something..."
Mark smiled friendly. "Oh, you really could do me a favor. Go to the next free bed you find, lay down and take a nap. Jesse, some of the bodys in Amanda's pathology lab look healthier than you!" Saying that he pushed Jesse to the door of the restroom. Jesse was too tired to argue. He collapsed onto one of the couches and was sleeping within seconds. "And I haven't even needed sedatives...." Mark mumbled amusedly, scrutinisizing the figure, whose cest lifted and sank calmly and regularly.
Jesse was woken up by a well-known sound that came from the direction of his waistband. 'Beep...beep...beep', his pager had went off and told him that he was needed in the ER. He glanced at his watch, he had slept for about two hours, it was already dark outside. Actually he didn't feel much better than before. But he hadn't time to think about his condition. Duty was calling. Groaning, Jesse got up and made his way to the ER.
When he got there, a strecher was rolled in by two paramedics. "What have we got?", asked Jesse, pulling gloves over his hands, and took the chart that one of the nurses handed to him. His gift to be concentrated even when he was terribly tired was amazing. It made him to one of the bests.
"Female, middle twenties, white, was hit by a car and unconscious when we arrived. Head injuries, probably internal bleedings, broken ribs. Heart stopped during the ride, but we got her back....Doc?!"
Tom Chandler, the young paramedic, frowned at the doctor who had just got as pale as a wall. Jesse stared in shock at the young woman on the stretcher. Her forehead was covered with blood, her eyes were closed and she looked completely lifeless. But he was sure that he had recognised her. Or maybe not? It had been a while go...
"Dr Travis?! Are you ok? Can you hear me?", Tom waved his hand in front of Jesse's face, who had seemed to be blacking out for seconds. Jesse got aware of him and nodded weakly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm ok! Do you have her name?"
"Yeah, this passport was in her bag." Tom gave the passport to the doctor and wondered secretly what was wrong with him. This man made always such a determined impression, but now it was almost as though his thoughts weren't...weren't there. The sight of the passport made Jesse shudder inwardly. He hadn't erred. But he couldn't escape, so he swallowed his nausea, prayed loudlessly for strength and followed the ER team of the Community General Hospital into the trauma room.
"Ford, BMW, Renault...I think there is no car brand, Dawn hasn't named me after!", Amanda told Mark, filling out the last autopsy reports at her desk. The older doctor simply chuckled.
"That's not funny, Mark! It's easier to stand CJ and Dion together with six of their friends than that man. Gosh, I really wondered where the off- button was." Amanda pulled the sheets over the victim of a surf accident and snorted unnervedly. She glanced at Mark. "Where is Jesse by the way? He should have been here with two cups of strong, steaming coffee about fifteen minutes ago!"
"When I last saw him he was sleeping on the couch in the restroom..."
"Firmly?!"
He nodded. "Like a baby!"
She glared suspiciously at him. "You didn't give him sedatives again, did you?"
Mark giggled and shook his head. "Wasn't necessary at all!" Suddenly his pager started to beep. Having had a quick look at it, Mark got up. "Gotta go to the ER. And I promise you a cup of coffee when I get back. Bye!"
"You are the best!" She smiled at him and watched him leaving the room.
"Hey Nancy, what's the matter?" asked Mark the nurse at reception desk. She looked sheepishly at him. "Oh, Dr. Sloan! Nothing special....it's just...we got a victim of a car accident and Dr. Travis made a very....unconcentrated impression to me...so thought I'd better call you..."
Mark frowned at her. That didn't fit to Jesse. Of course, he was stressed and probably tired, but that normally didn't obstruct him in doing his job. But Nancy was a good nurse and Mark held female intuition in high esteem. So he decided to have a look at the situation, maybe Jesse could really need some help. He took a chart from Nancy and quickly read through it. Or at least that was his intention, but his attention was caught by the name that was written at the top. Now the description of Jesse's behavior didn't surprise him any more.
Gulping heavily, he entered the room, where the members of the ER staff were wizzing around like some excited bees. At the first sight everything was as it should be.
"Respiratory tracts are clear, you wanna intubate, Dr Travis? Doctor?!" The nurse shouted at Jesse who was busy with staring at the x-ray pictures in shock.
"What, yeah...of course! We need to operate as soon as possible, a piece of the a rib is going to puncture the lung otherwise..." Jesse felt his blood pounding in his ears, he could barely hear himself. But it wasn't the right time now. He had to get control over his emotions somehow.
"But you're not going to do it! You won't operate her!" Mark had build up next to Jesse and looked very resolutely. He was worried about Jesse. And he was also worried about her. Jesse was the best doctor Mark had ever seen, but under such a terrible psychological pressure, even the best doctor in the world could make a mistake. Also doctors were only human beings.
Jesse shook his head dismissingly. "I can, Mark, really, it's not a problem!"
The head of the internal medicine watched him in disbelieve. "I don't want you to do it and I can't let you do it, not only because I'm a doctor, but because I'm your friend. She is your ex-girlfriend, Jess!"
"As if I wouldn't know that!", Jesse almost shouted at the older doctor. Until this moment the other people in the ER hadn't noticed the argument between the two of them, as Mark and Jesse had been discussing in undertone, but when Jesse raised his voice, they suddenly glanced at him confusedly. Their looks told Jesse that they thought he was going crazy.
Actually he wasn't crazy, he was just awfully angry. He didn't know with whom. With himself, with the guy who had done that, maybe even a bit with her. He knew it was witess. And he couldn't help feeling that way, though. Scrutinisizing the syringe in his hand, he suddenly seemed to realize what he was doing. Jesse had to admit that Mark was right, he didn't like it, but their was no need to quarrel any more.
"Please don't let her die!" he said in a low voice and his big blue pleading eyes met Mark's, who nodded, quite relieved that Jesse was giving up. He could understand that this wasn't easy for him. Jesse turned around and pulling the gloves from his hands and smashing them into a waste bin, he left the trauma room.
From outside he listened to Mark's voice, which shouted commands. Then he headed for the lounge. He couldn't stand that noise any more.
When Mark came out of the OR some hours later, he ran directly into Amanda.
"Mark, here you are! I was believing..." She stopped, wondering why he looked so bad. He was exhausted and seemed to be very nervous about something. "Have you lost your patient?" It was the only explanation that made sense.
He shook his head. "She is in a coma. Her condition is very serious. Honestly, it doesn't look as though she will make it..."
She put her hand on his trembling arm and noticed that something about the situation bothered him even more than usually. And she had a question: "Why have you been operating? Isn't she Jesse's patient?"
He took a deep breath. "That's the problem." He hesitated and when she gave him an asking look, he opened his mouth again slowly. "It's.... it's Susan!"