Waste
Stage 06: "Happy Downward"
I'm not high, but I feel so good. The sunlight… it's so… warm. The bed feels so nice, my sheets are clean, no sweat 'r vomit 'r urine, just white like the paint on the walls. Berter looks happy, too. He's sleeping, but no tossin' or turnin', looks right comfortable, too, considerin' the bed's too small for him. Mmm… Stretchin' out nice… Ah…
We bought food—a whole fridge full of meats and cheeses and bread and fruit and soups and canned veggies in the cabinets. I feel like a kid at Christmas, y'know? It's just been so long since we had a decent meal. Last night was wonderful. Ginyu made a beef stew, a thick, hearty slop with potatoes… Oh! And green beans and carrots and corn! We were all so very grateful, I guess that would be the term. Um… Joyful, maybe? I was so happy, a belly full of hot food, I wanted to cry. My body was truly fed for the first time in 10 days, and not with just eggs or a Hot Pocket or cup-o-noodles or dry cereal, but—honest to God—real food!
"Telephone!!"
Yeah, yeah. I'll get it. H'llo? …Oh, hey! What's goin' on? ……Nah, I ain't sittin'. ……Why? ………………….
…………………
…………………
……………God..?
The tap water tastes wonderful today. Is it supposed to be that way, when you haven't eaten in a long time? Should everything be delicious? My skin is normal again, not dry and cracking like it was, and the shower's fixed, too. I'm clean and fed and just incredibly relieved, y'know? Why can't everyday be like this, where I'm sober and lively and thinkin' real clear? It's like listening to chimes… Lovely, little chimes in a waltz beat. I know, I know, doesn't sound like me at all, right? Twenty-six years old and hear I am beboppin' around like I'm half that age, but just look at me..! I've got a clean shirt and slacks to match, a nice winter coat and a cap! My bed is flea-free, my blanket is thick and my sheets are clean, I'm so happy…!
……So then, why am I crying..?
"Jeice? Woah, man. What wrong? What's the matter?"
Go away… Just go away, man…
"Hey, come on, now. I'm here for you, man. Just tell me--"
Ginyu, I don't wanna talk now. Just go away, yeah..?
"…Yeah. We'll talk later… You just go ahead and deal, right? You want the door closed?"
Don't care, man…
He closed the door; I thought he would.
This is new, this kind of pain… It's horrible, just won't subside. My throat's dry, I wanna throw up, I'm shakin', and now, I'm not just cryin'; I'm bawlin'. Is this what I get? This your way at getting back at me for that kid, God?
"H'llo?"
"Jeice? It's Sauza."
"Oh, hey! What's goin' on?"
"You sittin' down?"
"Nah, I ain't sittin'."
"Well, you might want to."
"Why?"
"Um… The uh, paramedics tol' me the old man was rear ended by a guy doin' like 75… He busted his head wide open on the steering wheel on the impact, they said. Died instantly, brain still swellin' up inside. Um, we're gonna have a service in about five days. If you can't make it, we understand. We're getting the body creamated, thinkin' about spreadin' the ashes, too. So, do what you gotta and let me know, yeah? Bye…"
…Dad's dead… My dad's dead……