Chapter 25
Lady Galadriel and I have walked into the private gardens. She sat on a bench under a weeping silver birch, and indicated that I should sit beside her. I am silent, waiting for the Lady to begin.
'You have a dilemma, Elandra.' The Lady began.
'Yes my lady. I know Elves are very careful about giving advice, but I badly need some' I reply to Galadriel.
Galadriel has picked a flower from a beautiful shrub that is in full flower beside us. She tucks the cream coloured bloom in her hair, and sighs softly.
'In matters of the heart, child, all advice is useless. I will however answer any questions you might have, questions you do wish to ask your father'.
'Thank you my lady, but I don't know where to begin'. I say.
'At the beginning is usually correct', she says smiling. 'Elandra, you do not have to call me 'my lady', you are a princess, and of equal rank to myself. My name is Galadriel, and I ask you to call me by it.
I find myself temporarily bereft of speech. 'I can't begin to comprehend why Haldir chose to fall in love with me, not an Elf maiden' I finally manage to say.
'That you are mortal means little to Haldir's heart. For many years he hid his love for you, and I know, for he has spoken to me of this, you mean more to him than any other woman ever has.'
'But, Galadriel, that still doesn't explain why he chose me!' I say.
'Love is never explainable, child, it either happens or it does not. And there is no 'choice' involved, you either love someone, or you do not', Galadriel replies.
'I see, I think', I say, not really understanding, but willing to defer to the Lady's great wisdom.
'Life is never easy, Elandra, whether one is an elf, or a mortal, or even a tree or flower.'
'I know'.
'Now, back to your questions. If you wish answers I must know what it is you want to know!'
'Very well. Father said I could live a thousand years or more. Is that correct?' I ask
'Do you doubt your father?' she asks, a little amusement in the Lady's eyes.
'No, just if I heard correctly'.
This amuses Galadriel, and she laughs lightly. 'Your hearing is not at fault; although I find it strange you should think so. It is your mortal nature speaking to you that you cannot understand the possibility of what you term a long life. To an elf a thousand years is neither a long nor a short time, but yes, Elrond and I have consulted Gandalf, and we all believe that the estimated length of time for your life span is correct. The thing that concerns you is whether you intend to spend your allotted years with Haldir.'
'I don't know, I find myself unable to make that decision', I say, twisting my fingers together in fabric of my skirt.
'It is a decision you will have to make soon, in the meantime are there any more answers you wish me to give you'? Asks Galadriel.
Yes, there is one I would very much like the answer to. What are consequences to Haldir of marrying a mortal?' I ask her the one question whose answer I feel a burning need to know, but fear just the same.
'Only what he wishes. He cannot give up his immortality without leave from the Valar, and they would not grant him that choice. So three choices are left him on your death, and because he has bound his fate to yours whether you wed him or no, he may chose to sail west, where the memory of his years with you would be a beautiful thing, not a grief, or he may stay here in Middle Earth, and eventually fade, or he might die of grief at parting from you, and even he cannot make the choice while you live', said Galadriel.
'I see. But I will grow old and die, and can Haldir deal with that?' I ask her, fearful of the answer.
'Could he cope with the regret if he does not wed you because he fears to see you age? I think not. Haldir would not enter lightly into marriage with you, Elandra; it is not the way of our kind. And he would not abandon you when you are old, he would care for you until the end', says Galadriel, and her words are oddly touched with a deep sadness.
'You are sad, is it because Arwen chose to become mortal to marry Aragorn, and thus you lose your granddaughter?'
No, I strongly believe that Arwen has made the correct choice for herself. It is of my brother Aegnor that I speak.' I look questioningly at her, and she continues speaking, 'He loved a mortal woman named Andreth, and she him. They did not wed, for he would keep faith with the traditions of our people, but I think mostly because he feared to see her age and die. Seventy years after their last meeting, they both died on the same day, he in battle, she of old age, and they died filled with grief, regret and great sorrow for what could have been. I would not wish any other to know that bitterness'.
'I notice we are both blinking back tears, and I think, Galadriel is right, No one should know that terrible sorrow, and I make a resolution that it will not happen to Haldir or I. Of course, at the time, I did not realise that I had resolved to wed Haldir.
'That is a sad tale', I said.
'Yes, sad, foolish and tragic. If I had been able to intervene, they should have wed, for I would have told my brother that traditions that mean so much unhappiness for two people are meant to be cast aside. I should have made him see he had the courage to stay with her until her death, but I was not there, and ever since I have felt that I let my brother down'.
'Perhaps we should not speak more of this, as it distresses you so much'.
'Perhaps you are right. We are here to speak of you, not of the past history of my family. Is there anything, else, Elandra?'
'Are you sure you are all right, Galadriel? You look pale'.
'I am fine.'
Seeing that the Lady wished to continue our conversation I ask 'what of children, should Haldir and I have any? Would they be mortal?
'As mortal as you, but even longer-lived. In appearance they would very likely resemble Elves more than Mortals.'
Galadriel looks deeply into my eyes, and I know she is reading my thoughts, as is her skill. 'The question of mortality is not truly what you wish answered; you fear your past, and whether or not it will come between Haldir and yourself. My answer is that you are strong; Elandra, and your time of torment will only be a problem if you allow it to be. You can overcome this, and Haldir can help you, if you will let him. I will now give you my advice, you know advice is never gives lightly by Elves, and it is this, wed Haldir, and enjoy the years you have with him, but do not wait until your wedding night to bed with him. Your fears must be overcome first, or your memories may cast a blight on your marriage', said Galadriel earnestly.
I sigh deeply, and collect my thoughts before answering her, 'I deeply appreciate your time and advise, and I will think deeply on what you have said, and discuss the future with Haldir.'
'Do you love him?' asks Galadriel.
'I don't know, I only know that I have always enjoyed his company, and lately I have come to feel, well, I guess incomplete when I am not near him'.
'Then you do love him, and should tell him'.
'I will'.
'Then all is resolved', said Galadriel, now happier.
The lady and I stand, and shake the flower petals from our gowns. The day is drawing in, and I have taken enough of Galadriel's time, and it is time for me to speak to another of my future.
Author's notes. The story Galadriel tells of her brother Aegnor and the moral woman Andreth was inspired by Finch's unbelievably well written story 'Fell Fire', it is excellent, and I would recommend all read it, but make sure you have a very large box of tissues handy.
Lady Galadriel and I have walked into the private gardens. She sat on a bench under a weeping silver birch, and indicated that I should sit beside her. I am silent, waiting for the Lady to begin.
'You have a dilemma, Elandra.' The Lady began.
'Yes my lady. I know Elves are very careful about giving advice, but I badly need some' I reply to Galadriel.
Galadriel has picked a flower from a beautiful shrub that is in full flower beside us. She tucks the cream coloured bloom in her hair, and sighs softly.
'In matters of the heart, child, all advice is useless. I will however answer any questions you might have, questions you do wish to ask your father'.
'Thank you my lady, but I don't know where to begin'. I say.
'At the beginning is usually correct', she says smiling. 'Elandra, you do not have to call me 'my lady', you are a princess, and of equal rank to myself. My name is Galadriel, and I ask you to call me by it.
I find myself temporarily bereft of speech. 'I can't begin to comprehend why Haldir chose to fall in love with me, not an Elf maiden' I finally manage to say.
'That you are mortal means little to Haldir's heart. For many years he hid his love for you, and I know, for he has spoken to me of this, you mean more to him than any other woman ever has.'
'But, Galadriel, that still doesn't explain why he chose me!' I say.
'Love is never explainable, child, it either happens or it does not. And there is no 'choice' involved, you either love someone, or you do not', Galadriel replies.
'I see, I think', I say, not really understanding, but willing to defer to the Lady's great wisdom.
'Life is never easy, Elandra, whether one is an elf, or a mortal, or even a tree or flower.'
'I know'.
'Now, back to your questions. If you wish answers I must know what it is you want to know!'
'Very well. Father said I could live a thousand years or more. Is that correct?' I ask
'Do you doubt your father?' she asks, a little amusement in the Lady's eyes.
'No, just if I heard correctly'.
This amuses Galadriel, and she laughs lightly. 'Your hearing is not at fault; although I find it strange you should think so. It is your mortal nature speaking to you that you cannot understand the possibility of what you term a long life. To an elf a thousand years is neither a long nor a short time, but yes, Elrond and I have consulted Gandalf, and we all believe that the estimated length of time for your life span is correct. The thing that concerns you is whether you intend to spend your allotted years with Haldir.'
'I don't know, I find myself unable to make that decision', I say, twisting my fingers together in fabric of my skirt.
'It is a decision you will have to make soon, in the meantime are there any more answers you wish me to give you'? Asks Galadriel.
Yes, there is one I would very much like the answer to. What are consequences to Haldir of marrying a mortal?' I ask her the one question whose answer I feel a burning need to know, but fear just the same.
'Only what he wishes. He cannot give up his immortality without leave from the Valar, and they would not grant him that choice. So three choices are left him on your death, and because he has bound his fate to yours whether you wed him or no, he may chose to sail west, where the memory of his years with you would be a beautiful thing, not a grief, or he may stay here in Middle Earth, and eventually fade, or he might die of grief at parting from you, and even he cannot make the choice while you live', said Galadriel.
'I see. But I will grow old and die, and can Haldir deal with that?' I ask her, fearful of the answer.
'Could he cope with the regret if he does not wed you because he fears to see you age? I think not. Haldir would not enter lightly into marriage with you, Elandra; it is not the way of our kind. And he would not abandon you when you are old, he would care for you until the end', says Galadriel, and her words are oddly touched with a deep sadness.
'You are sad, is it because Arwen chose to become mortal to marry Aragorn, and thus you lose your granddaughter?'
No, I strongly believe that Arwen has made the correct choice for herself. It is of my brother Aegnor that I speak.' I look questioningly at her, and she continues speaking, 'He loved a mortal woman named Andreth, and she him. They did not wed, for he would keep faith with the traditions of our people, but I think mostly because he feared to see her age and die. Seventy years after their last meeting, they both died on the same day, he in battle, she of old age, and they died filled with grief, regret and great sorrow for what could have been. I would not wish any other to know that bitterness'.
'I notice we are both blinking back tears, and I think, Galadriel is right, No one should know that terrible sorrow, and I make a resolution that it will not happen to Haldir or I. Of course, at the time, I did not realise that I had resolved to wed Haldir.
'That is a sad tale', I said.
'Yes, sad, foolish and tragic. If I had been able to intervene, they should have wed, for I would have told my brother that traditions that mean so much unhappiness for two people are meant to be cast aside. I should have made him see he had the courage to stay with her until her death, but I was not there, and ever since I have felt that I let my brother down'.
'Perhaps we should not speak more of this, as it distresses you so much'.
'Perhaps you are right. We are here to speak of you, not of the past history of my family. Is there anything, else, Elandra?'
'Are you sure you are all right, Galadriel? You look pale'.
'I am fine.'
Seeing that the Lady wished to continue our conversation I ask 'what of children, should Haldir and I have any? Would they be mortal?
'As mortal as you, but even longer-lived. In appearance they would very likely resemble Elves more than Mortals.'
Galadriel looks deeply into my eyes, and I know she is reading my thoughts, as is her skill. 'The question of mortality is not truly what you wish answered; you fear your past, and whether or not it will come between Haldir and yourself. My answer is that you are strong; Elandra, and your time of torment will only be a problem if you allow it to be. You can overcome this, and Haldir can help you, if you will let him. I will now give you my advice, you know advice is never gives lightly by Elves, and it is this, wed Haldir, and enjoy the years you have with him, but do not wait until your wedding night to bed with him. Your fears must be overcome first, or your memories may cast a blight on your marriage', said Galadriel earnestly.
I sigh deeply, and collect my thoughts before answering her, 'I deeply appreciate your time and advise, and I will think deeply on what you have said, and discuss the future with Haldir.'
'Do you love him?' asks Galadriel.
'I don't know, I only know that I have always enjoyed his company, and lately I have come to feel, well, I guess incomplete when I am not near him'.
'Then you do love him, and should tell him'.
'I will'.
'Then all is resolved', said Galadriel, now happier.
The lady and I stand, and shake the flower petals from our gowns. The day is drawing in, and I have taken enough of Galadriel's time, and it is time for me to speak to another of my future.
Author's notes. The story Galadriel tells of her brother Aegnor and the moral woman Andreth was inspired by Finch's unbelievably well written story 'Fell Fire', it is excellent, and I would recommend all read it, but make sure you have a very large box of tissues handy.