Chapter 28
Lady Harle, you read my mind, you clever girl! Hope you like this.
'My Lord', I stammer, very surprised by seeing Celeborn, who is dressed as a simple archer, and carrying a wine skin. As I take note of his appearance, I realise that he has been drinking, and is a little under the weather.
'Come in', I said, continuing to hold open the door. Celeborn did so, and sat in the chair by the fire, stretching out his long legs. To say I was stunned by his appearance was a slight understatement.
'Well, child, draw up a chair, and bring me something to pour this into', Celeborn said, his clear voice a trace louder than normal. I did as asked, reflecting that if Celeborn were mortal he would apparently have drunk enough wine to have passed out, but as an elf he was simply a little more relaxed than normal, which I decided is good, as he can a bit too stern and stiff in manner at times.
The elf lord had filled the wine cups I gave him, and passed one back to me. I noticed his silver hair, normally so immaculate was, well, messy was the only word that leapt to mind, and thought that he must have had an interesting day in the city with Father, Aragorn and Faramir.
'Do you have anything here that might resemble food, Elandra' he asks me.
'I shall fetch us some bread and cheese from the kitchens, my lord'.
Celeborn gives me his 'Lord of Lorien' look, and then spoils it by giving an uncharacteristic snort, and saying 'Don't 'Lord' me Elandra, if I am right, you will soon be a kinswoman of mine, distant though the ties may be. In private I have a name, and you will use it.'
Smiling, I decide Celeborn is much drunker than I had thought, and probably really is hungry. 'I'll be back in a minute, uh, Celeborn, if you're not careful you shall set your boots on fire', I say noting his feet are all but in the flames.
Celeborn nods, and moves his feet, as I leave the room, and run lightly down the stairs to fetch some food, and as I come back up the stairs, carrying bread, cheese, and some cold venison, I wonder whether or not I shall the elf lord asleep or not.
He is still awake, staring into the flames, and he greets me cheerfully when I bring out the food. Although I am not hungry, he insists on me joining him in his meal.
We have finished eating, and Celeborn is still drinking, and in a fair way to making a total mess of himself, in horror I imagine the thought of explaining to Galadriel why her husband is laying drunk in my room, I know Celeborn gets drunk at times. I believe the last time was ten years ago, and his behaviour then, with the assistance of a few elves did not win him his wife's approval.
'Well, Elandra, I have had just enough wine to feel inclined to have a personal conversation with you, and not feel bothered if I happen to offend you'. 'Not' he says, emptying his wine cup again, 'that I wish to offend you. Thank you for the meal', he says, smiling as he hands me back the plate he had used. I decide that I like Celeborn better drunk; he is less forbidding and distant.
'A personal conversation?' I ask.
'Yes, concerning Haldir, who as you know, is my third cousin. I have a vested interest in his affairs, both as his kinsman, and as he liege lord.' He fixes a stern glare on me, 'what are your intentions towards my Captain of Archers? Are you going to marry him or simply play games with him? He deserves to win you, and you could travel Middle Earth to it's very ends, and never find a man who loves you more, or would make you a better husband'.
'I am not playing games with Haldir!' I say indignantly.
'You could have fooled me! Oh, I know all about your past, your torment at the hands of the wild men years ago, but what in the name of the Valar does that have to do with Haldir? Do you really imagine for one second that he would hurt you in any way? For any reason?'
'No, of course he wouldn't hurt me! But I am unsure of my feelings, and I am confused, and I suppose I am not really afraid of Haldir, but of myself, of my own uncertainty.'
Celeborn gives me a measuring look, as he pushes his hair out of his eyes, 'Sister to my grand children, love is a joy, not a thing to fear! And it astonishes me that you are afraid to love.' He fills his wine cup yet again, insisting on doing the same for me, and the unworthy thought occurs to me that maybe he is trying to get me drunk. 'I forget sometimes that although you have elven blood you are not an elf, that mortals do not bond with their spouses in the same way elves do.'
'Are you saying Haldir has formed some kind of an unbreakable bond to me?' I ask, shocked at the thought, not because I dislike the idea of Haldir having bound himself to me, but the fact it scares me a bit.
'Yes, of course he has.' Celeborn is getting a bit annoyed at my obvious inability to understand, 'It is like that with elves, that is why I am getting drunk tonight', he says sadly.
'Are you alright?' I ask him, worried, as I have never seen the stern Lord of Lorien like this.
'That is why I am here. My wife will leave soon, she is sailing west, and no argument of mine will change her mind. She says the burden of the Ring she bears is too great now, and that she longs to see our daughter again. I can understand all that, but she will not stay with me, that is what hurts. I can't leave yet, my heart is still in Middle Earth, and I won't leave my grandsons on their own in Rivendell'.
"Have the twins made their choice then?'
'No, not yet, but while they live, and stay here, I won't go. They need some family by them.' Almost he has finished the wine skin, but yet again fills his cup. 'My heart is torn to stay here, in Middle Earth which I love, with the twins, or follow my unbreakable bond to Galadriel. Haldir does not deserve to torn like I am. If he is not wed to you, he will be torn between staying here, and hoping beyond hope to win you still, and his duty, to follow the Lady he is sworn to protect beyond the seas, where you can't go. Haldir does not deserve that pain. No one does.'
He puts down the empty cup and wine skin, and looks directly at me, instead of into the fire, 'Do you not love him, Elandra, or will you not?'
'I don't know, I really don't know', I reply.
'You must decide soon, for you don't he will go with Galadriel out of loyalty, and then if you change your mind, it will be too late.' With those words of advice, Celeborn slid out of the chair, and passed out on the floor.
Great, an unconscious elf lord on my floor. I place a pillow under Celeborn's head, and put up the fire screen. I am about to leave to go and tell Galadriel where her husband is, when I opened the door, I find Haldir outside, about to enter, clearly his guard duty is over.
'Where are you off to, my dear', he asks, in a very good mood.
'Celeborn is passed out drunk on my floor, and I was just on my way to tell Galadriel where he is'.
Haldir looks over my shoulder, and sees the elf lord sprawled on the floor. 'I think it best if we leave him there, too'.
He takes my hand and we walk a few doors down and knock on a door there. 'Come in,' calls Galadriel.
We enter, and tell her where Celeborn is. 'That would be right!' she says angry with him. 'I suppose I shall have to go and see if I can wake him'.
Back in my room, Celeborn is completely unwakable. Between the three of us, we manage to lift on to my bed, where Galadriel makes him comfortable. 'Please, Galadriel, make yourself at home here, I am going for a walk with Haldir and will not require the use of this chamber tonight.' She accepts, grateful to be able to hide her husband's drunken state from others.
Once again, I leave the room, hand in hand with Haldir. We walk into the palace gardens, which are beautiful at night by starlight. We reach a private place, a bench under some trees, and sit, Haldir immediately taking me in his arms, and kissing me passionately his lips on mine, then my shoulders; he began to unlace my shirt when I stopped him, my eyes wide with fear.
'Ellie, please, I love you so much, I want you, my love, please let me love you', he says, hurt clear in his eyes.
My hands are on his shoulders, pushing him away from me. 'Haldir, I need to ask you something'.
He has relaxed a little, and is waiting for my question, 'Is it true that you have formed some kind of bond to me? Something because you love me?
'Yes, quite true, a soul bond', he says, leaning in kiss me again.
I turn my face away, 'What happens if we, uh,'
'Make love' he says.
'Yes, what happens then'.
'The bond becomes unbreakable, absolute', he says.
'And then if we don't marry? If I refuse to be your wife?' I ask.
'I will die of grief, and sorrow because you will then hold my soul in your keeping, but my love I would give up life for an hour in your arms', he said, drawing me close again, his lips again on mine, in a kiss that sears my soul.
Lady Harle, you read my mind, you clever girl! Hope you like this.
'My Lord', I stammer, very surprised by seeing Celeborn, who is dressed as a simple archer, and carrying a wine skin. As I take note of his appearance, I realise that he has been drinking, and is a little under the weather.
'Come in', I said, continuing to hold open the door. Celeborn did so, and sat in the chair by the fire, stretching out his long legs. To say I was stunned by his appearance was a slight understatement.
'Well, child, draw up a chair, and bring me something to pour this into', Celeborn said, his clear voice a trace louder than normal. I did as asked, reflecting that if Celeborn were mortal he would apparently have drunk enough wine to have passed out, but as an elf he was simply a little more relaxed than normal, which I decided is good, as he can a bit too stern and stiff in manner at times.
The elf lord had filled the wine cups I gave him, and passed one back to me. I noticed his silver hair, normally so immaculate was, well, messy was the only word that leapt to mind, and thought that he must have had an interesting day in the city with Father, Aragorn and Faramir.
'Do you have anything here that might resemble food, Elandra' he asks me.
'I shall fetch us some bread and cheese from the kitchens, my lord'.
Celeborn gives me his 'Lord of Lorien' look, and then spoils it by giving an uncharacteristic snort, and saying 'Don't 'Lord' me Elandra, if I am right, you will soon be a kinswoman of mine, distant though the ties may be. In private I have a name, and you will use it.'
Smiling, I decide Celeborn is much drunker than I had thought, and probably really is hungry. 'I'll be back in a minute, uh, Celeborn, if you're not careful you shall set your boots on fire', I say noting his feet are all but in the flames.
Celeborn nods, and moves his feet, as I leave the room, and run lightly down the stairs to fetch some food, and as I come back up the stairs, carrying bread, cheese, and some cold venison, I wonder whether or not I shall the elf lord asleep or not.
He is still awake, staring into the flames, and he greets me cheerfully when I bring out the food. Although I am not hungry, he insists on me joining him in his meal.
We have finished eating, and Celeborn is still drinking, and in a fair way to making a total mess of himself, in horror I imagine the thought of explaining to Galadriel why her husband is laying drunk in my room, I know Celeborn gets drunk at times. I believe the last time was ten years ago, and his behaviour then, with the assistance of a few elves did not win him his wife's approval.
'Well, Elandra, I have had just enough wine to feel inclined to have a personal conversation with you, and not feel bothered if I happen to offend you'. 'Not' he says, emptying his wine cup again, 'that I wish to offend you. Thank you for the meal', he says, smiling as he hands me back the plate he had used. I decide that I like Celeborn better drunk; he is less forbidding and distant.
'A personal conversation?' I ask.
'Yes, concerning Haldir, who as you know, is my third cousin. I have a vested interest in his affairs, both as his kinsman, and as he liege lord.' He fixes a stern glare on me, 'what are your intentions towards my Captain of Archers? Are you going to marry him or simply play games with him? He deserves to win you, and you could travel Middle Earth to it's very ends, and never find a man who loves you more, or would make you a better husband'.
'I am not playing games with Haldir!' I say indignantly.
'You could have fooled me! Oh, I know all about your past, your torment at the hands of the wild men years ago, but what in the name of the Valar does that have to do with Haldir? Do you really imagine for one second that he would hurt you in any way? For any reason?'
'No, of course he wouldn't hurt me! But I am unsure of my feelings, and I am confused, and I suppose I am not really afraid of Haldir, but of myself, of my own uncertainty.'
Celeborn gives me a measuring look, as he pushes his hair out of his eyes, 'Sister to my grand children, love is a joy, not a thing to fear! And it astonishes me that you are afraid to love.' He fills his wine cup yet again, insisting on doing the same for me, and the unworthy thought occurs to me that maybe he is trying to get me drunk. 'I forget sometimes that although you have elven blood you are not an elf, that mortals do not bond with their spouses in the same way elves do.'
'Are you saying Haldir has formed some kind of an unbreakable bond to me?' I ask, shocked at the thought, not because I dislike the idea of Haldir having bound himself to me, but the fact it scares me a bit.
'Yes, of course he has.' Celeborn is getting a bit annoyed at my obvious inability to understand, 'It is like that with elves, that is why I am getting drunk tonight', he says sadly.
'Are you alright?' I ask him, worried, as I have never seen the stern Lord of Lorien like this.
'That is why I am here. My wife will leave soon, she is sailing west, and no argument of mine will change her mind. She says the burden of the Ring she bears is too great now, and that she longs to see our daughter again. I can understand all that, but she will not stay with me, that is what hurts. I can't leave yet, my heart is still in Middle Earth, and I won't leave my grandsons on their own in Rivendell'.
"Have the twins made their choice then?'
'No, not yet, but while they live, and stay here, I won't go. They need some family by them.' Almost he has finished the wine skin, but yet again fills his cup. 'My heart is torn to stay here, in Middle Earth which I love, with the twins, or follow my unbreakable bond to Galadriel. Haldir does not deserve to torn like I am. If he is not wed to you, he will be torn between staying here, and hoping beyond hope to win you still, and his duty, to follow the Lady he is sworn to protect beyond the seas, where you can't go. Haldir does not deserve that pain. No one does.'
He puts down the empty cup and wine skin, and looks directly at me, instead of into the fire, 'Do you not love him, Elandra, or will you not?'
'I don't know, I really don't know', I reply.
'You must decide soon, for you don't he will go with Galadriel out of loyalty, and then if you change your mind, it will be too late.' With those words of advice, Celeborn slid out of the chair, and passed out on the floor.
Great, an unconscious elf lord on my floor. I place a pillow under Celeborn's head, and put up the fire screen. I am about to leave to go and tell Galadriel where her husband is, when I opened the door, I find Haldir outside, about to enter, clearly his guard duty is over.
'Where are you off to, my dear', he asks, in a very good mood.
'Celeborn is passed out drunk on my floor, and I was just on my way to tell Galadriel where he is'.
Haldir looks over my shoulder, and sees the elf lord sprawled on the floor. 'I think it best if we leave him there, too'.
He takes my hand and we walk a few doors down and knock on a door there. 'Come in,' calls Galadriel.
We enter, and tell her where Celeborn is. 'That would be right!' she says angry with him. 'I suppose I shall have to go and see if I can wake him'.
Back in my room, Celeborn is completely unwakable. Between the three of us, we manage to lift on to my bed, where Galadriel makes him comfortable. 'Please, Galadriel, make yourself at home here, I am going for a walk with Haldir and will not require the use of this chamber tonight.' She accepts, grateful to be able to hide her husband's drunken state from others.
Once again, I leave the room, hand in hand with Haldir. We walk into the palace gardens, which are beautiful at night by starlight. We reach a private place, a bench under some trees, and sit, Haldir immediately taking me in his arms, and kissing me passionately his lips on mine, then my shoulders; he began to unlace my shirt when I stopped him, my eyes wide with fear.
'Ellie, please, I love you so much, I want you, my love, please let me love you', he says, hurt clear in his eyes.
My hands are on his shoulders, pushing him away from me. 'Haldir, I need to ask you something'.
He has relaxed a little, and is waiting for my question, 'Is it true that you have formed some kind of bond to me? Something because you love me?
'Yes, quite true, a soul bond', he says, leaning in kiss me again.
I turn my face away, 'What happens if we, uh,'
'Make love' he says.
'Yes, what happens then'.
'The bond becomes unbreakable, absolute', he says.
'And then if we don't marry? If I refuse to be your wife?' I ask.
'I will die of grief, and sorrow because you will then hold my soul in your keeping, but my love I would give up life for an hour in your arms', he said, drawing me close again, his lips again on mine, in a kiss that sears my soul.