Don't Leave Me, Excel's Fantasy Episode
By: Muchacha
Email: muraki_ynm@hotmail.com
Authority: I DONT even own Excel Saga's characters I'm sure most of you know. Instead, I'm writing this crappy fic.
Summary: This is a parody of Excel Saga mixed with fairy tales. Hyatt plays the princess in love with Excel, Excel plays the farm girl-soon-to-be-prince kind of type, Lord Ilpalazzo's the king, and the other characters are scattered about!
*A bit of "shoujo ai"/ girls in love/ in this fic (first time I've though this with girls..)
~~~~~
Chapter 3- Fairly bossy Godfather
~~~~~
"Ah~~~! Excel has nothing to wear to the ball!"
Excel pouted at her current situation. She was going through all her clothes, and Matsuya's, but nothing was grand or even decent enough to wear to a ball. How was she supposed to go to the ball with nothing on but farm girls' clothes? Unless she went without nothing on entirely… but that wasn't an option.
She was rummaging through dirty clothes and found they didn't have one dress in the whole house. She didn't expect a dress anyway because all Matsuya and her do is work on the farm and try to make money from profits and the land lord. The only problem was Excel was truant, and they never made much money to buy enough food, let alone a dress. Excel felt guilty for being helpless and ignoring Matsuya, but Matsuya was always distant anyway.
She sobbed. It was past 8:00 o'clock and she wanted more than ever to be at that ball. She didn't have a plan, a dress, a ride, or nothing! She was going to miss the biggest chance of meeting Lord Ilpalazzo. Damn it!
Then magically, a man appears in a skimpy pair of tights with a big afro of hair. Excel was bewildered and fell promptly on her ass.
"Ack! Who the hell are you!?"
"I am your fairly bossy godfather, Nabeshin. Now get up off your ass!"
"Hey," Excel exclaims, " you have no right to say that to your goddaughter, my very transvestite godfather, Nabeshin!"
"It's Fairly Bossy godfather, bitch," mutters Nabeshin.
Excel notices he has a pointy stick in his hand. Now what could he possibly do with a pointy stick on a night like this?
"I can see the hentai thoughts around your head." Nabeshin says dryly. " And no, that's not what I use my wand for. I'm here to grant you a damn wish, and I know you want to go to the ball, so I'm here to help get the bullshit done."
"Say," Excel stutters, " why is it you're so pissy and cursing?"
"Because that's the result of having a shitty part in this shitty story, with a shitty costume, and a shitty director," Nabeshin said exasperatedly, " Just tell me what you want, OK?"
"I want to go to the ball! I want to have the finest dress to match my fine complexion. I want a ride so grand, anybody will be impressed with it! I also want nice sturdy shoes, a cute driver, and the longest curfew ever!"
"You got it, babe" And with a zap of his wand, background music and many bubbles and lights are focused on Excel as she is transformed in a fine dress.
But the dress doesn't suit to Excel. It's very tight on the top with no sleeves at all, making her shiver like wet laundry in the breeze, and the skirt of the dress is extra large that it makes her look like she has a big butt.
"I don't like this!" Excel declares. " Can you put me in a simple man's suit instead?"
"Alright, fine! Just don't be bitchy about the carriage and driver."
When Excel is transformed into a man's uniform, elegant patches are placed on the shoulders and drape to her hips. The colors gold and green shimmer like it is made of gems, but the shoes she is wearing disappoint her.
"Aw, these red boots suck," she pouts.
" I'm on a low budget, and they're the cheapest. Just give me that cabbage." Nabeshin instructs.
"Why? You hungry?"
"NO! so I'll turn it into the damn carriage! Honestly! Don't you read Cinderella?"
"Read? Cinderella? What are those?"
"…Never mind. Just give me the cabbage, my poor child…"
"OK." Excel hurries to pick up the cabbage and give it to her godfather. This man is so nice to do all his for Excel, so she willingly obeys. She wouldn't want to get the godfather to upset that he'll put a curse on her.
Nabeshin turned the cabbage into a perfect leafy carriage, but what was he going to turn into horses? There were no mice. Excel told him they ate the mice, but he didn't want to know that. The chickens and pigs were out of the question.
"I know!" Excel dashes and picks up two puchuus who were casually walking by and interfering with the story. " We can change these puchuus to be the horses!"
"Sure." Nabeshin had to hand it to her now for once. She did a useful thing. " You can go to the ball now."
"But what of my curfew?" Excel asks.
"You don't need one. Just have fun," winks Nabeshin. " And take these with you." He says, shoving condoms into her open hand. "You'll need these sooner or later."
"Gee! Thanks fairly bossy godfather! I'm very grateful to you!"
"Yeah, yeah. Just get the hell out of here." And he spanks the horse on its ass, that it rears and runs along the dirt road.
Nabeshin watches as the carriage, carrying a special girl who would capture the heart of somebody true, rides off to the hill.
'Go,' mutters Nabeshin, ' and live the prophecy.'
~~~~~
Author's note: Yeah, it's getting shitty, but I feel I'm wasting my time on this. My love for Excel is high, But lets face it, I totally fuck up at writing. I'll continue on the other chapters til the end if I can, and I'll inform you!
Muchacha
muraki_ynm@hotmail.com
Next chapter:
Excel meets Hyatts in the garden during the ball, but a baddy wizard Kabapu takes advantage of Excel( not in that disgusting wayof course!)
I suck at summaries...adios!
By: Muchacha
Email: muraki_ynm@hotmail.com
Authority: I DONT even own Excel Saga's characters I'm sure most of you know. Instead, I'm writing this crappy fic.
Summary: This is a parody of Excel Saga mixed with fairy tales. Hyatt plays the princess in love with Excel, Excel plays the farm girl-soon-to-be-prince kind of type, Lord Ilpalazzo's the king, and the other characters are scattered about!
*A bit of "shoujo ai"/ girls in love/ in this fic (first time I've though this with girls..)
~~~~~
Chapter 3- Fairly bossy Godfather
~~~~~
"Ah~~~! Excel has nothing to wear to the ball!"
Excel pouted at her current situation. She was going through all her clothes, and Matsuya's, but nothing was grand or even decent enough to wear to a ball. How was she supposed to go to the ball with nothing on but farm girls' clothes? Unless she went without nothing on entirely… but that wasn't an option.
She was rummaging through dirty clothes and found they didn't have one dress in the whole house. She didn't expect a dress anyway because all Matsuya and her do is work on the farm and try to make money from profits and the land lord. The only problem was Excel was truant, and they never made much money to buy enough food, let alone a dress. Excel felt guilty for being helpless and ignoring Matsuya, but Matsuya was always distant anyway.
She sobbed. It was past 8:00 o'clock and she wanted more than ever to be at that ball. She didn't have a plan, a dress, a ride, or nothing! She was going to miss the biggest chance of meeting Lord Ilpalazzo. Damn it!
Then magically, a man appears in a skimpy pair of tights with a big afro of hair. Excel was bewildered and fell promptly on her ass.
"Ack! Who the hell are you!?"
"I am your fairly bossy godfather, Nabeshin. Now get up off your ass!"
"Hey," Excel exclaims, " you have no right to say that to your goddaughter, my very transvestite godfather, Nabeshin!"
"It's Fairly Bossy godfather, bitch," mutters Nabeshin.
Excel notices he has a pointy stick in his hand. Now what could he possibly do with a pointy stick on a night like this?
"I can see the hentai thoughts around your head." Nabeshin says dryly. " And no, that's not what I use my wand for. I'm here to grant you a damn wish, and I know you want to go to the ball, so I'm here to help get the bullshit done."
"Say," Excel stutters, " why is it you're so pissy and cursing?"
"Because that's the result of having a shitty part in this shitty story, with a shitty costume, and a shitty director," Nabeshin said exasperatedly, " Just tell me what you want, OK?"
"I want to go to the ball! I want to have the finest dress to match my fine complexion. I want a ride so grand, anybody will be impressed with it! I also want nice sturdy shoes, a cute driver, and the longest curfew ever!"
"You got it, babe" And with a zap of his wand, background music and many bubbles and lights are focused on Excel as she is transformed in a fine dress.
But the dress doesn't suit to Excel. It's very tight on the top with no sleeves at all, making her shiver like wet laundry in the breeze, and the skirt of the dress is extra large that it makes her look like she has a big butt.
"I don't like this!" Excel declares. " Can you put me in a simple man's suit instead?"
"Alright, fine! Just don't be bitchy about the carriage and driver."
When Excel is transformed into a man's uniform, elegant patches are placed on the shoulders and drape to her hips. The colors gold and green shimmer like it is made of gems, but the shoes she is wearing disappoint her.
"Aw, these red boots suck," she pouts.
" I'm on a low budget, and they're the cheapest. Just give me that cabbage." Nabeshin instructs.
"Why? You hungry?"
"NO! so I'll turn it into the damn carriage! Honestly! Don't you read Cinderella?"
"Read? Cinderella? What are those?"
"…Never mind. Just give me the cabbage, my poor child…"
"OK." Excel hurries to pick up the cabbage and give it to her godfather. This man is so nice to do all his for Excel, so she willingly obeys. She wouldn't want to get the godfather to upset that he'll put a curse on her.
Nabeshin turned the cabbage into a perfect leafy carriage, but what was he going to turn into horses? There were no mice. Excel told him they ate the mice, but he didn't want to know that. The chickens and pigs were out of the question.
"I know!" Excel dashes and picks up two puchuus who were casually walking by and interfering with the story. " We can change these puchuus to be the horses!"
"Sure." Nabeshin had to hand it to her now for once. She did a useful thing. " You can go to the ball now."
"But what of my curfew?" Excel asks.
"You don't need one. Just have fun," winks Nabeshin. " And take these with you." He says, shoving condoms into her open hand. "You'll need these sooner or later."
"Gee! Thanks fairly bossy godfather! I'm very grateful to you!"
"Yeah, yeah. Just get the hell out of here." And he spanks the horse on its ass, that it rears and runs along the dirt road.
Nabeshin watches as the carriage, carrying a special girl who would capture the heart of somebody true, rides off to the hill.
'Go,' mutters Nabeshin, ' and live the prophecy.'
~~~~~
Author's note: Yeah, it's getting shitty, but I feel I'm wasting my time on this. My love for Excel is high, But lets face it, I totally fuck up at writing. I'll continue on the other chapters til the end if I can, and I'll inform you!
Muchacha
muraki_ynm@hotmail.com
Next chapter:
Excel meets Hyatts in the garden during the ball, but a baddy wizard Kabapu takes advantage of Excel( not in that disgusting wayof course!)
I suck at summaries...adios!