The Bookworm Diaries

A/N. I've just had a five hour art exam today, FIVE HOURS! My, my...anyway I want to thank everyone who's reviewed so far and ...who told me that I hadn't made Hermione too soppy over Ron, which is a relief because I was pretty sure I had! Anyway, this continues where the last chapter left off...

Chapter Five: How Quickly Things Change!

What he said was so unexpected all I could do was sit and stare at him until he became uncomfortable. He lowered his eyes from mine;

'I...um...I didn't really think you'd want to I just, well, after what happened last year...and what you said...'

So he did remember.

'No!' I said, maybe a little too quickly. He looked back up at me and I faltered.

'No...I mean yes. That would be, erm, that would be...nice.'

OK so maybe my response wasn't the most articulate thing ever said but it is excusable.

Ron brightened after I said this.

'Really? You know, it's funny, I asked Harry ages ago if he'd mind popping off for a moment today so I could ask you. Just as friends.'

Harry! The...the...he knew, he knew all along. Ron had asked him, then I'd asked him and...argh! What must it look like from his point of view? This didn't register in my brain until after the conversation. What I actually thought after he'd said this was why he'd added the last bit. I was in no delusion that he was asking me to go with him as more than friends. I know how he feels and he doesn't like me in that way.

We looked at each other awkwardly for a bit until Harry came through the door. Finally! I made my excuses and went to the rest room. Are they talking about me out there? Are they...no, I have to stop it. I'm going with Ron to the Ball and that's all that matters. Besides, maybe something will develop between us. Maybe.

11th January, Sunday evening, Gryffindor Common Room.

Life couldn't be better. As far as I'm aware Ron and Harry have finished their homework and I'm going with Ron to the Ball. 14th February. I can keep on reasonably good terms with him until then, can't I? I think the news that we're going together has traveled quickly. Or else I'm imagining things. I was on my way to the library to return 'The History of Arithmancy' when I passed the Hufflepuff, Amanda Griphorn. She looked at me as if...as if I was something her owl had done on the floor. The way she turned her nose up was enough to make my blood boil but I have self control so I did not retaliate. I've known she likes Ron for some time now. I think our entire Herbology class does by the way she flirts with him. Personally, I don't know what she sees in him...or what I do for that matter. Now there's a question that could do with an answer!

Monday, 12th January, Cloud 9.

I'm behaving like a complete idiotic schoolgirl about this. On the outside I'm just, well, me...but on the inside I feel...grrrr, I don't really know! I just want to shout out to the world how I feel about him; I want to tell him! He asked me to the dance, he actually asked me! And, luckily, I'm only one of a few girls that can see how adorable he is (Amanda Griphorn being one of them...Herbology was not fun yesterday.) I have to get on with this Potion's essay and revising...we have a Potion's test on Wednesday. Easy stuff but Harry and Ron haven't even started revising yet. I'll nag them tomorrow, too happy today!

Tuesday, 13th January, depth of despair.

I should have known it was too good to last. I started it. Suppose I just better get on and write it; Ron and me had a blazing row yesterday, over some stupid little thing. Now he hates me and, to all appearances, I hate him. We're not speaking (nothing new there then.)

I've just read back through Monday's post, how quickly things change! Did I actually believe it would work, that we had a future? Or was it just wishful thinking?

It happened this evening. We were sat there revising, Ron opposite me. I was staring at him (discretely, I might add) loving everything about him, his hair, his freckles, the way he smiled...wait a minute, he just smiled, he is NOT revising. So, naturally like the stupid fool that I am, I stomped towards him and... Ack no, I can't even bear to write what happened! Do I really want to be an old, lonely woman in my rocking chair reading word for word how I messed up my life at the tender age of 16? I don't think so. Let's just say we fought. I mean, it started over the revising then went onto other irrelevant things as arguments so often do. And it ended with him yelling at me; 'Fine, it that's the way you feel about it you can kiss going to the Ball with me goodbye! It's not like I can't get someone better than you!' To which I replied that I didn't care and that if he could get someone better than me he shouldn't have asked me in the first place. Yes, I know Dear Diary that I shouldn't have provoked him, and I know I should have tried to repair the situation when realising I was loosing him. But I was angry and hurt. Hurt because I knew what he said was true. He does deserve better than me.

A/N. I am SO SORRY this has taken me so long to get right. I wrote most of it after my art exam (about a month ago) but then I've had the mocks and just general laziness and I haven't posted this. Thanks to Leesa's review, egging me to finish this, and everyone else who cares! But, the good thing (well, good for me anyway...) is that during my art exam I planned another songfic to one of The Calling's songs and then a couple of nights ago I heard the lyrics to a song by Bowling For Soup which just screamed R/H! So I'll be writing them about nowish...

Disclaimer: Purlease, like I'm talented enough to own these characters.