The Bookworm Diaries
A/N. I have to say that the last chapter was my favourite so far! This chapter is very depressing, I was going to submit this on Valentine's day just to be sadistic but FF.N's member thingy wouldn't let me so, to cut a short story even shorter, I'm submitting it today!:}
Chapter Nine: Happy Valentine's Day
I managed to stay away from Ron and Amanda for the next few hours (courtesy of Harry Potter, I think.) I was dreading explaining the whole situation to some inquisitive person who came up and asked but I think the majority of people were scared of me and stayed out of my way.
Just when I thought things were looking up, I lost Gilbert. Not that I blame him, poor fellow. I'd gone to get a drink and when I'd returned; he'd gone, probably to quiver under a table in the library somewhere.
Feeling slightly hurt and rejected I haughtily found an empty seat and sat down. Looking round the dancing couples, I caught sight of Amanda and Ron and, was ashamedly delighted to see Ron looking thoroughly bored and fed up, whilst Amanda chatted away. I saw Ginny and Colin Creevey, Lavender and Parvarti pared of with Dean and Seamus, Harry and some Ravenclaw girl who was quick enough to snap him up, Neville and a shy-looking Hufflepuff...and me. I was quick to realise that I was the only one who wasn't dancing.
I was the only one not to have anyone on Valentine's Day.
I continued to punish myself by watching Amanda and Ron, thinking how happier he'd be if he was with me and none of the evening's events had occurred.
I must have been staring for a while because the next thing I knew, Amanda had seen me and, realising I was humbled and alone, walked across the dance floor towards me, a smug look of triumph on her face. Knowing this moment had to come I stood to greet her.
'So, did you slap Gilbert too Hermione? Is that why you're alone?'
Harry, sensing danger as only he could, left his Ravenclaw and stood beside me.
'Amanda...' he started, warningly. By now Ron had caught up with her and was stood by her side, silently looking at me.
'Let me finish!' she spat at him before turning back to me. 'Oh no, I forgot, you're always going to be alone, aren't you? Alone with your books and your thoughts. Or maybe it's because you've set your sights to high, Hermione. Maybe it's because you're pining after someone who will never return your feelings. And you know that don't you? You know Ron will never be more than your friend, and now I doubt he's even that. Slapping people he's interested in isn't going to turn you into a winner. You're a loser Hermione, a looser.'
She needn't have said it. I knew that already.
Naturally, all who were listening gasped at this and waited with anticipation. How was I going to react? Would I deny my feelings for Ron? Would I cry? Would I slap her again? But the fight was out of me. All I did was raise my eyes from the floor and look at Ron. I had only one thing left to say.
'Happy Valentines.'
So there it was, the one-liner I could have done with earlier. It had finally come. Better late than never, I suppose.
Naturally, I left.
I felt as though I was doing the walk of shame as I ran out of the Great Hall. The argument must have been louder than I thought, because everyone seemed to have heard Amanda confess my love for Ron Weasley.
I didn't let the tears flow until I had reached my dormitory. Tears of shame, anger and love coursed down my cheeks as though they'd never stop.
I'd never forget tonight.
15th February 7am.
I'm going to have to face it, face Ron. I don't know what to say; I don't know what to do.
I really am a looser.
16th February, 9pm, Girls Dormitory
I hardly spoke to anyone today, but, then again, no one spoke to me. Too ashamed or too scared of me, they made me feel like an outcast. Except for Harry, he's my rock.
I received sniggers or amused looks as people passed me in the corridors; people I didn't even know were judging me on what they saw of me last night. Is this what society has come to? Ron didn't speak to me. I suspected he would have if Harry had not intervened. I only saw Amanda once, thank goodness. She smirked as she walked past me in the corridor on her way to speak to Ron. There was no need for any snide remarks or mean comments from her. The damage had already been done. She had won, and we both knew it.
The only person who acted no differently towards me was Harry. He carried on as if last night had not happened and was perfectly friendly to me, though he has no reason to be.
It's somewhat ironic (A/N. Hermione 2000 shudders at the evil word) that although everyone acknowledges I am in disgrace, not one person has considered asking me about it. They're all quite happy to discuss it amongst themselves but know one wants to know the real motive behind it. Though, of course, they can probably guess. I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out I did it because I was jealous. I've been trying to think of another reason why I might have done it but I can't.
I never was very good at lies.
17th February, Midday, Alone, Gryffindor Table.
Nothing much changes today, hopefully the masses will get bored soon as they find another victim to prey upon.
Ron's going to confront me about it, I know him too well. He's itching to do it; I can see it now. But he's wondering which approach to take. He wonders whether to yell at me or be sympathetic and awkward. I prefer the first one. I'd rather have a full-blown row with him; I can't stand awkwardness between us.
I keep thinking in a few days everything will go back to normal, Ron will forget that I love him and we'll continue being friends. But that's not going to happen, not now.
Curse February 14th.
A/N. Next chapter will be up when I write it!
Disclaimer: I own the sadism but JK owns all the rest. And some romantic wally called St. Valentine's I do believe, invented Valentine's Day and is to blame for that.